Wayne Michael Reich

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Month: January 2023

Optimism Primed. (Red-slime Stories)

“Optimism is the madness of insisting that all is well when we are miserable.” – Voltaire

Greetings, Bitchiteers!

How are you currently doing in this, the dawning new year of 2023? Are you happy? Are you excited about the year ahead? Or just like me, are you secretly hoping that it doesn’t look at 2022 with an air of condescending smugness, because it knows it could do far better at being far worse, if only given the unfettered opportunity to do so?

I thought so. Nevertheless, I’m trying my best to start off ol’ 23 here with a positive outlook, no matter what reality and the circumstances attached to it, demand to dictate.

Therefore, the end goal of this, my newest screed, will be to craft a work of non-fiction regarding a work of pure fiction that’s so damn informative, that even total strangers will feel the need to stop me on the street. Even if the reason that they’re doing so, is only to ask and that, rather concernedly, if I’m either psychic, or worse, the closest thing that this generation will ever see to a sentient set of the Encyclopedia Britannica.  

If you’re under 40, and don’t understand that last joke, ask a Gen Xer- they’ll set you straight.

And just in case you’re curious as well, the answers to those two queries would be; no more than any of you, and yes. I may just possibly be. I won’t call it for any of you, of course, but I think that as a concerned collective, we can all agree without any additional debate or serious questioning, that 2022 sucked harder than Melania Trump auditioning for a future non-incarcerated husband.

And this assessment, epic in its inherent acidity, applies evenly across the board, irrespective of the topic to be discussed, as the art of civil debate within this once semi-respected republic, has not only been tossed out the allegorical window, it’s been done so from the very top floor.

By way of example, I will offer the following example, that being one of my last politically-based-exchanges for 2022, with a person who’s traveled so far down the rabbit-hole of established Reality, that he’s entirely bypassed Wonderland, and found himself instead, single-handedly fighting the denizens of Gehenna. Or so he thinks.

Some necessary background context, if may. If there is one thing that’s become apparent over the course of the last few years, it’s that no amount of love, understanding, logic, or undeniable evidence shown to any random member of the personality cult that compromises Trumpism, will ever shake their faith in slavishly worshiping a dime-store-bronzer-dipped demagogue, regardless of whatever contemptible actions he openly engages in.

Whether it’s his proven and numerous acts of adultery, confessed sexual assault, grafting, money-laundering, incompetence, ignorance, racism, bigotry, misogyny, pathological lying, fomenting an attempted insurrection, and self-confessed treason, it’s generally accepted by his adherents, that up is down, and “Black” is never to be allowed to enjoy or even possess, the merest of privileges so amenably afforded to “White”.

For as the Greek philosopher and polymath Aristotle once observed; “Educating the mind without educating the heart, is no education at all,”, and within the abominable creed that underpins the very core of Trumpist ideology, the mind and heart are so disconnected from Reality, that all one needs do as an advocate for the World’s Angrist Creamsicle, is claim that he is in fact, not the villain of whatever false story that our lying eyes and ears have so cruelly concocted, but is instead, the unsung hero of a tale so epic, that no one less than the great poet Homer himself, could have composed it

Now, depending on the source and the level to which they’ve willingly succumbed to what can only be described as the unchecked advancement of severe mental illness, Donald J. Trump, the twice-impeached, adulterous, sexually-predating, treasonous liar, who just also happens to be the former 45th President of the United States, is not at all what he seems. Not by a long shot.

Because in an unexpected plot twist that George RR Martin would happily kill M. Night Shvamalan with a dragon to think of for himself, it turns out that DJT is not only the Greatest [self-declared] President of All-Time, he’s also the Greatest Champion for Sex Trafficking ever, as well.

Oops… I meant to say “Greatest Champion against Sex Trafficking ever”, but when you remember that he at one time, had business and/or personal ties to five well-known pedophiles, was caught on a “hot mic” bragging about sexually assaulting women, and has compiled quite the distasteful list of highly inappropriate commentary regarding women, as well as his own daughter Ivanka, you can easily see why I made such an honest mistake.

See? I didn’t even have to mention that time when he paid a porn-star 130K for sex while his 3rd wife (and 2’nd ex-mistress) was at home, recovering from the birth of their newborn son, nor did I have to raise the somewhat embarrassing fact that the Trump administration had one of the LOWEST rates of sexual trafficking convictions in modern presidential history, ether.

Along those lines, I’m sure that Donny would also appreciate your being kind enough to forget that moment where he wished Ghislaine Maxwell, the child-victim procuring girlfriend of notorious pedophile Jeffery Epstein “well” before her trial. Not once, but TWICE.

And even though she was convicted of conspiracy to entice minors to travel to engage in illegal sex acts, conspiracy to transport minors to participate in illegal sex acts, transporting a minor to participate in illegal sex acts, sex trafficking conspiracy, and sex trafficking of a minor, that’s still no reason to cast doubt upon Trumps dubious prestige as QAnon’s allegorical Savior of the unconscionably victimized.

You know… the children that for some strange reason, he failed to recognize while he was casting open thoughts of goodwill towards their definitive abuser? Try to keep all this in mind, as I introduce you to a fine duo of persons who not only deliberately overlook these massive flaws of both character and basic humanity, they do it ever so willingly, to boot.

The conversation about to be presented, kicked off with my being made aware this simply charming meme, depicting Lady Liberty, who’s been presumably victimized by the politically Left, being assured by a condescendingly misogynistic Uncle Sam, that she’s not to worry, for “We’re Coming”. Although what this means, given its vagueness about whom is coming and why, remains known only to Mike Mooradian, the poster of this slice of paranoid propaganda:

Fortuitously, Mooradian was nice enough to clarify the idiocy festering within the cesspit of his obviously intellectually-bereft mind, by not only giving us his take of “This hit me hard this morning. A shit storm is coming and you patriots better be ready.” as a punctuation-free lead-in, but in addition, also opened up the debate floor to his equally obsessed oracles of obliqueness, as well:

Maybe it’s just me, but has anyone else noticed that despite possessing an ability to unravel the evil tapestry of what is clearly a worldwide cabal using nothing save the ever-shrieking voces in their heads, that the architects of such puritanical patriotism, openly display the spelling and grammatical skillset of those particular call-center operatives who notify you at all hours of the day, about your need to renew your car’s extended warranty?

Far funnier though, is their collective delusion regarding that not only was the attempted insurrection of January 6th 2020 a predetermined “set-up”, designed to besmirch the impeccable reputation of the aforementioned and eternally-disgraced mango-tinted man-child who fomented it, but that such was put into motion by the same malevolent machinate responsible for the crafting of the “satanic” Georgia Guidestones monument, as well. 

And while I know what you’re thinking, let me assure you all, that the “Georgia Guidestones” are not, and I repeat, are NOT; a tribute band that merges the lyrical witticisms of the defunct rock band the Georgia Satellites, with the blues-based iconicity of the Rolling Stones. Sure, it was a good guess on your part, and an even better concept for a musical act, but that would still be a solid “no”, all the way around.

For the uninitiated, the Georgia Guidestones was a monument erected in1980, and was composed of six separate slabs of granite, topping off at a height of 19 feet 3 inches, with a combined weight of 237,746 pounds. Located in Georgia, the state that by the thinnest of margins, decided that perhaps well-known hypocrite and deadbeat dad Herschel (”I wanna be a Werewolf now”) Walker, was maybe not the sanest choice to represent them in Congress, the GG’s were the subject of as equally unintelligent controversy, from the first day of their allegorical birth.

Nicknamed the “American Stonehenge” by some, it was created out of the shared concern firmly held by its originators, that there was going to be an upcoming social, nuclear, or pecuniary catastrophe that would end modern-day society as we know it, and therefore, the design element of said monument, was to serve as a guide for whatever form of humanity would arise from our metaphorical ashes, as it were. Like a deceased Jedi Masters’ Force ghost, but far more weather-resistant, if not twice as cryptic.

Sandblasted into the monuments four primary supporting granite slabs, in eight different languages, those being: Arabic, Russian, Chinese, English, Hindi, Spanish, Hebrew, and Swahili, were ten “guides for mankind”- inscriptions that sought to give sage advice to the replacement generation. And just what exactly, did the advisements suggest that caused delusional morons like Baeza Jr to label them as “Satanic”?

Well, get ready to clutch your allegorical pearls, because here they are: [1] Maintain humanity under 500,000,000 in perpetual balance with nature. [2] Guide reproduction wisely- improving fitness and diversity.. [3] Unite humanity with a living new language. [4] Rule passion- faith- tradition- and all things with tempered reason. [5] Protect people and nations with fair laws and just courts. [6] Let all nations rule internally resolving external disputes in a world court. [7] Avoid petty laws and useless officials. [8] Balance personal rights with social duties. [9] Prize truth- beauty- love- seeking harmony with the infinite. [10] Be not a cancer on the Earth- leave room for nature.

Dear. Mythical. God. Have you ever read a testament to the future that was ever this blatantly, if not cold-bloodedly, evil? I mean… maintaining a balance and living with Nature? Uniting Humanity? The use of Reason to guide society? Applying the application of the Law equally and justly? And in an unhinged proposal that should strike terror into the hearts of even the steeliest among us, we should “prize” Truth and Love?

Clearly, whomever created this monolith of malevolent intent, never consulted a Conservative Christian in regards to just how ridiculous this would all sound, when taken at face value.

If this architectural Antichrist had been allowed to stand unmolested, I can almost guarantee that we’d be currently overrun by random people just walking around, saying inane stuff like; “Love thy neighbor”, or even worse, finding themselves inspired to build houses of worship, wherein they might even preach the message that we collectively should; “Do unto others as you would have them do unto you”, and other unhinged nonsensicalities such as that.

Can you just imagine the ramifications of that occurring?

The next thing you know, these zealots would be all over TV complaining about strangers whose lifestyles they find objectionable, insisting that their unaccredited doctrine be forced upon and into, our schools, government, and personal healthcare decisions, and to top it all off, you just know we’d never hear the end of their libelous litany claiming “persecution”, if they didn’t get their way 100% of the time.

Foreseeing all that, it’s probably a good thing that in July of 2022, the GG’s were blown sky-high in an act of-politically-inspired-domestic-terrorism, which most certainly, was influenced by decades of Right-Wing conspiracy theories formed by lunacy, fueled by fearful ignorance, and eventually realized, utilizing the crudity of what has been assumed to be a homemade bomb.

As it was in the past, when Black Churches were the figureheads of the civil rights movement, the answer as always for Conservatives to excising something out of their pathetically wretched lives that they don’t like, appreciate or can even be bothered to try and f**king understand, even though it doesn’t personally affect them at all, is to try and destroy it.

Hell, if the Alt-Wrong managed to do it to civil discourse if not comin sense in this country, using only their neurotic nitroglycerin, what chance in allegorical Hell would a few rock pillars have against their actually applied dynamite?

None whatsoever. America. F**k yeah.

Naturally, as I tend to be somewhat reactionary to the cerebral obsequiousness of conspiracy theory, in what are supposed to be otherwise mentally functional adults, I of course, just had to toss in my own two cents, and as I can’t just go around throwing my loose change at obliviousness lunatics, I made my response a two-for-the-price-of-one special:

Now, in case you aren’t aware, the modern-day male member of the personality cut that fails to masquerade itself as the Conservative movement in this country, truly loathes Liberals with a hatred so intense, that if it were applied equally to actually learning something useful and beneficial to the society at large, we’d all have jet packs, flying cars, and a flawlessly perfect sequel to “Highlander” by now.

And when college-educated, reality-based, fact-spouting progressives (such as myself) openly dare to mock their self-declared Alpha status? Well then just sit back, and watch all heck break loose.

Interestingly, you can label them as stupid, refer to them as them as submissively pathetic cultists, or even slur them collectively as nothing less than deplorable supporters of Treason, and do so, without causing so much as a ripple in their shallow end of the gene pool, but if you infer that they’re a Beta…just be prepared to accept that at best, you’re going to see the best representation of what happens when a can of AXE body-spray achieves middling sentience:

My own personal misspelling of “sure’ and lack of a comma after “God”, aside, I think it’s safe to say that witty comebacks are not the forte of the two toxically conservative Cucks. Wisely, Mooradian ducked out of further engagement on this particular Facebook thread, leaving the supremely amusing task of one embarrassing themselves online to his 2’nd lieutenant Danny Baeza Jr, who came up with witticisms such as this:

As a person who engages regularly with persons devoid of significantly functioning critical-thinking abilities, I’ve often wondered why the two most common so-called debate tactics that the Alt-Wrong relies on, is stating that either someone is a NAZI, or the equally ridiculous option that they’re a Satanist, just because said person stands in direct opposition to their transparently obvious lack of intelligence.

Don’t misunderstand me- I do in fact know and more importantly believe, that both of those two things still do exist in the modern age, but the odds that the person being conservatively slandered while they’re advocating for the application of Logic and a concern for the well-being of others, is actually covered by either one of these definitions, are fairly slim.

But as it often is with the Disciples of Dipshittery that form the political bowel movement that is Trumpism, once they get a hold of an alleged “burn”, they can’t let go, and sometimes even add a soundtrack to it:

Damn… that is a dick move, Danny. Employing the work of American musical icon Johnny Cash, to push a vile misrepresentation of the Word? Man, you are ever do lucky that he’s dead, because if he had heard you say this crap out loud, the Man in Black himself would have hit you over the head with his guitar. You’ve heard his song, “A Boy named Sue”? You would have been the subject of its equally amusing follow-up, “A Man-boy made Goo”.

Fret not however, for as the old adage goes, “two can play that game”, and my side has got some serious musical militiamen of its own, aided by my (as always) ever so sensitive observations:

For those of you unfamiliar with the song that I posted as a retort, all that I can say regarding it, is that if you’re the type who believes in the concept of a celestial Skydaddy that is both mythical and sociopathic, then you’re probably not going to be in any kind of rush to add this particular work by Frank Turner to your chosen Spotify listing.

A selected example from the song’s possibly provocative lyrics: “Brothers and sisters, have you heard the news? The storm has lifted and there’s nothing to lose, So swap your confirmation for your dancing shoes, Because there never was no God.” “Step out of the darkness and onto the streets, Forget about the fast, let’s have a carnival feast, Raise up your lowered head and hear the liberation beat, Because there never was no God.”

Sadly, despite the sheer catchiness of said song, Baez Jr still felt compelled to double down on his conspiracy theory cocktail, chased with whatever the hell it is that the voices in his head manufacture, and then falsely present to him, as nothing less than incontestable fact:
As long as I live, I will never understand where critics of the modern-day Conservative movement and the MAGAts that currently compromise its core membership, have gotten the idea that same said individuals are wholly insane loons, incapable of rational thought or action, when such intellectually-gifted individuals such as Danny Baeza Jr here, are carrying its allegorical banner to the heights of truly civil, if not well-measured, political discourse. 

s commentary is deeply disturbing for its dedication to an inarguably insane and easily debunked theorem, it’s far more alarming that a person this mentally unwell, walks among us unfettered, if not unmedicated. Given the earlier proof offered concerning Trump’s lack of character in concern to sexual ethics, I’d opine that perhaps Baeza’s faith in him as a chosen agent of God, may be a tad bit misdirected.  

As is the trust that Mike Mooradian (our original FB thread originator) has ostensibly placed in whatever quality test that he’s applied to his personal association with Baeza Jr. It has often been said, that one is judged by the company one keeps, and if Baeza Jr here, serves as the standard-bearer for Mooradian’s litmus test, I’d strongly recommend that future customers of his business, Mooradian Investing LLC, located in Longmont, Colorado, take their money elsewhere, ASAP.

This is not due to any feeling or belief that Mooradian is unethical or crooked, but that if I were to invest in any form of such commerce, I sure as hell wouldn’t entrust my hard-earned greenbacks to an allegedly delusional person who seemingly advocates overthrowing the current standing government, based on the lies of the Count of Mostly Crisco.

Unless of course, Mooradian is investing in the corporate prisons that will be built to incarcerate not only Trump and his inner circle of fellow coup planners, but the numerous Trump allies, associates, simple-minded insurrectionists, and media propagandists who haven’t been savvy enough to cut deals with the DOJ just yet, as well.

In which case, I’d advise that you go all in with everything that you can throw in, because the long-term dividends are going to be huge. This fiscal advice aside, there’s still the unresolved issue of my zany zealot Danny Baeza Jr, to wrap up.

Preferably in a straitjacket, but I’m fairly certain, given my opinion that his family tree most likely resembles a replacement lead for a mechanical pencil, a deal for this fervent hope of mine to be borne into reality, was already in the works as I wrote these final words, after he had asked me one thankfully last time, whether or not I worshiped Satan, and I assured him (yet again) that I did not, as he’s a myth to begin with:

A word of advice for the unknowledgeable out there regrading those such as myself, who openly identify as being an Atheist? As I noted previously, if I don’t believe in your sociopathic Skydaddy, then it’s a sure bet that I in tandem, don’t place much stock in the dysfunctional relationship that he so puzzlingly maintains with his highly disgruntled ex-employee, either.

I’d also like to note that at no point, then or now, did Mooradian bother to attempt any form of direct intervention regarding Baeza Jr’s salacious and erroneous claims, which in essence, only goes to prove the validity of the long-held maxim that “Silence = Complicity”, an assessment that only solidified itself for me, after this exchange on an earlier posting of his:

Yes… “No one looks for a Liberal” when “shit hits the fan”, Mike. Not a single soul. For as we all know, there are no Liberal policemen, no Liberal doctors, no Liberal care workers, no Liberal firemen, and most certainly, no Liberal soldiers to be found within a mile of any emergency requiring the intervention of the concerned.

Newsflash, genius- when a tragedy has occurred, political party lines should be essentially erased, necessary alliances need to be forged, nobody with a working soul and brain, is “looking”: for anything, save for decent humans who can assist them in their time of need, and your party is so not stocked-up with any of those.

Because if there’s one thing that is as certain as the act of a Conservative deflecting or projecting, it’s that the political party who consistently votes against aiding storm-wracked states and American territories, who denies veterans their due benefits, all while giving them faux lip service, and engages in human trafficking by putting the undocumented on a plane paid for by American taxpayers, to another state for a cheap political PR stunt, are truly the best of us all, right?

After all, let’s not overlook the time when the mango man-child Mooradian adores, claimed that on the darkest day that was 9-11, that he; “went down to Ground Zero with men who worked for me to try to help in any little way that we could. We were not alone. So many others were scattered around trying to do the same. They were all trying to help.”

Unfortunately for our former Commander-in-Cheat, there is ZERO evidence that any workers hired by, or working in conjunction with Trump, ever helped with the cleanup efforts. Nor are there any valid eyewitness accounts, photos, or any news footage, showing him actively engaging in coordinating such activity, either.

But all is not lost regarding the message of Mooradian’s meme, for on the very same day of the synchronized terrorist attack, Trump, the self-declared provider of imaginary workmen, called WWOR TV to ostensibly discuss the tragedy, as all community-orientated real-estate developers like to do.

However, Trump for whatever reason, felt that the tragedy of the day required a perspective of sorts that concerned him alone, and in doing so, uttered a comment so vile in its cluelessness, that it still stands as monstrous not just for its insensitivity, but also for the braggadocio that underpins it: “I mean, 40 Wall Street actually was the second-tallest building in downtown Manhattan. And it was actually- before the World Trade Center- was the tallest. And then when they built the World Trade Center, it became known as the second-tallest, and now it’s the tallest.

At the time when this repulsive commentary was uttered, both towers of the World Trade Center had already collapsed, the Pentagon had suffered severe damage and multiple casualties, a hijacked plane intended for god-knows-what-target had been forced into a crash by the actions of its self-sacrificing passengers, and nearly 3,000 people had been murdered in the process, but hey…

…Donny’s got the best view in NYC now, so let’s all focus on that, instead. And as we do, we’ll just ignore the fact that it was, like most of his exclamations, a bald-faced lie, as in the 1970’s, 40 Wall Street was not the tallest building in lower Manhattan before the period in which the Twin Towers were erected, nor was it even the tallest after the events of 9-11, as well.

Nevertheless, when I pointed out the erroneous nature of Mooradian’s claim, albeit with a ton of misspellings, die to my nerve-damaged hands utilizing the smallest keypad I’ve ever used in my life, he reacted in the only way that a Conservative knows how- to double down on his inane assertions of that which is not, and never has been, based in actual reality:  

I love how when he’s confronted, this paragon of alleged masculinity responds with the classic “I know you are, but what am I” defense gambit that’s been the hallmark of every chastised 4th grader since the early 70’s, and the go-to lame retort for every Conservative failing at winning a debate, since Trump turned the GOP into the GQP.  

But a question was inferred, and therefore I will answer it- you’re a f**king moron Mike, but as you already knew that, repeating that which is obvious, seems kind of redundant. But jackasses are gonna jackass, regardless of the fact that you just warned them of what tools were at your disposal in order to prove them not just wrong, but hilariously so.

At the time, I honestly did think that I was pretty clear in declaring what I could use as such, but apparently in his zeal to openly display his ignorance, Mooradian somehow skipped over that part, and instead introduced a series of false (and long-debunked) claims to muddy the waters, all of which, I was more than happy to clear up for him, if he desired me to do so:

At the time, I honestly did think that I was fairly open in declaring what I could use as such, but apparently in his zeal to openly display his ignorance, Mooradian somehow skipped over that part, and instead, chose to introduce a series of false (and long-debunked) claims to muddy the waters that he clearly couldn’t defend by using credibly verified evidence.

So. as I tend to be a rather charitable person when I find myself going toe to toe with a mentally-bereft and politically-submissive sycophant, I (once again) reminded him of a reality that he quite evidently, hadn’t ever taken into consideration, that being the fact that political documentation exists, and none of it backs up his puerile partisanship whatsoever.

Given Mooradian’s inference that Liberals aren’t masculine, you might assume that he’d interpret my offer to debate the reality of my commentary using actual facts, as nothing less than a metaphorical gauntlet being shaved in his face, and accept the challenge, but in doing so, you’d find yourself being proven dead wrong,

For as often sems to be the case when Conservatives find themselves cornered by the indisputable, Mooradian reacted like the cravenly bitch I already knew him to be, and “blocked” me, rather than face the theoretical possibility that I was about to happily serve him his own empty head on a silver platter, replete with a side dish of whoop-ass, just to balance it out.

This particular act of intellectual and ideological cowardice aside, running away from established Truth is seemingly nothing new for Mooradian, and despite all evidence to the contrary, he revels in his belief of an improbable conspiracy machinated by an insidious cabal, much in the same way that I maintain my faith in the theorem that Nickelback being allowed to release ten chart-topping albums, is a surefire sign that there is quite obviously, no God.

However, so far as Mooradian is concerned, the validity of God’s existence is the least of his imaginary worries, because as he sees it, his own government was caught red-handed, plotting an insurrection against itself, in order to … um… well, the true details are a bit fuzzy at this stage, but rest assured, not-so-magic Mile here, knows what’s really going on:

I won’t speak for you of course, but I do think that it’s a wonderful sign of our country’s aptitude for tolerance, that we openly allow the ostensibly mentally-ill, to have unimpeded access to the largest information dissemination source on the planet, regardless of the outcome of the intentional damage that they do to established facts, social civility, and/or political progressiveness.

Nevertheless, if I were to speak on behalf of my asinine faux insurrectionist, may I note that it’s actually spelled “Capitol”, attacking it is still a federal and prosecutable crime, and after the repulsive events of J6, I’m fairly certain that the Capitol Police would be more than up to engage in a blood-feud rematch with Mooradian’s fellow brain-dead cultists.

And without any sarcasm involved Mikey, J6 was a “patriot event” as your ideology’s form of modern-day nationalistic pride has as much in common with actual patriotism, as Donald J. Trump does with marital fidelity.

By the way, does anybody else remember when Mooradian had a mini-meltdown, saying that it was, and I quote: “Typical of the liberal Democrat communist to post some bullshit and not have any proof”, and then, when actually presented with the offer of some, he immediately tucked his tail between his legs, and fled like the mango-tinted coward whom he admires so much?  

Well, just keep that in mind, because our resident Hercule Poirot wannabe here, is about to present his well-researched treasure trove of irrefutable evidence, and even when viewed with the most cynical of eyes, it’s still stunningly persuasive:

o accurately recap, a bumper-sticker quoting demagogue, who lauds the overthrow of our democracy by faux patriots based on the insane lies and whims of a sanctimonious sack of gilded lunchmeat, heard from an unnamed “source” within the FBI, that several agents have been tried for their alleged collusion in fomenting the events of that day, without the Alt-Wrong press, Trump’s lawyers, or other cabinet officials, somehow catching wind of it, mind you,
Strangely, despite the evidently sold proof that Mooradian didn’t provide one way or the other, I still felt compelled to see with my own eyes just where this devastatingly relevant information was coming from, and to my surprise, I found that it wasn’t actually coming from anywhere, save for the critically devoid of intellect voices imprisoned within the confines of the spoiled cabbage that Mooradian wittily calls his brain:

Well, this is peculiar, because regardless of whatever search terms I typed in regarding any FBI agent/s being prosecuted for collusion leading to the outcome of J6, I got zilch. Zero. Diddly-squat. Goose-eggs. NADA.

Now as I, along with the rest of you, all live in a democratic republic, and not one based on the rule of bananas, I find Mooradian’s assertion of “secret trials” not only absurd, but somewhat pathetic, to boot. If there was indeed such evidence to be found, given the reality of modern-day mass media and the hackerdom that monitors it, this fever-dream would be quite literally, the biggest story on Earth, and I can assure you that it would be milked harder than a VIP guest hanging out at the Grotto located at the Playboy Mansion.

And while i don’t wish to sound somewhat condescendingly smug, I hardly think that the self-declared CEO of an investment firm that clears less than *100K annually and which was founded in 2019, would have been gifted the inside track on anything allegedly Deep State related, unless it refers to either getting a really sweet deal on promotional items, or knowing the cheapest place in Longmont to entertain a potential client.
*[Details listed at: https://www.buzzfile.com/business/Mooradian-Investing-303-908-9842]

But if one unfounded conspiracy involving an imaginary cover-up is fun to ruminate over, then certainly tossing in additional one that’s based on paranoic lunacy, and just as easily debunked, as Mooradian’s fantastical tale regarding the FBI, should be twice as fun to discuss, am I right?

Of course, I am. After all, isn’t it my responsibility to take you through this metaphorical minefield of madness safely, if not disquietly?

I will give a clue as to its content however, before I introduce yet additional of Mooradian’s groundless fever-dreams, and it is this: I love how the MAGAt ilk being purposefully unaware of the reality that exists around them, somehow directly translates such, into a Machiavellian scheme designed to control the populace at large, using the most deceptive of insidious measures:   

A simple Google search will reveal mass confusion regarding this particular news story, but the overall consensus is that it never actually happened, and is more of an urban myth, rather than an actual occurrence. So far as my deep-dive research has shown, the story may originate from a news-service banner crawl that was allegedly broadcast on both CBS and CNN, claiming that explosives had been found under the GW Bridge in NYC on 9-11, 2001:

The one consistent thing I did find however, were improbable theories, spurious speculations, and surprisingly, a smattery of antisemitism, circulating through the entrenched roots of this fable made ethereal flesh.

If I were to poke a few holes within the floorboards of this duplicitous dinghy of a story, I’d note that from the moment the duo of planes hit the Twin Towers until their tragic and eventual collapse a short time later, NYC was in a state of total chaos, and remained in such, for days afterward.

And while NYC’s most prominent landmarks were checked for hidden dangers over the next few weeks and it’s on-ground security forces were subsequently on high alert for months as well, there was simply not enough unencumbered civil resources. or the application of command to undertake any such form of deliberately close inspection on that particularly dark day, no matter how much Mooradian would like to suggest that there was.

But as the saying that I just, made up goes, “Dumbf**ks are gonna dumbf**k, no matter what”, and when it comes to the proof of that maxim, Mooradian finds himself allied with a wide slew of as equally uniformed mentally-shuffling pinheads, some of whom it pains me to say, may be even far dumber than even he appears to be:

Let me tell you, it’s so nice to see an “A” level game being presented when it comes to individual madness, is it not? But as an aside, exactly what is a “Patriot” supposed to dress like? Because I’m pretty sure that the outfit of one who claims to be such, doesn’t include zip-ties, Confederate flags, or the emblazoning of a wannabe fascists name, across their chest, but maybe that’s just me.

For those of you who may be new to the idioms of this country, “And everybody knows it”, is a convenient catch-phrase that modern-day conservatives use in place of willingly providing verifiable evidence to prove whatever it is that they’re claiming happened.

While it can be considered a relatively new tool of the GQP, it’s been used do many times at this point, that it’s literally become an almost cliche admission that no such proof for said claim, actually exists. Please reference the subjects of “Micro-chipped Vaccines”, “Frazzledrip”, “Pizzagate”, “New World Order”, “Deep State Machinations”, and “A Watchable Cut of Highlander 2”, for a deeper understanding, if such is actually required.Naturally, whenever I encounter one of these mewling morons online, I do my best to play Devil’s Advocate as it were, and attempt to see things from their side of the fence, regardless of just how misguided and wholly paranoid it may be. Fortunately, for your entertainment if not my own, I tend to fail rather spectacularly at this sort of thing:

Yes, I know, I know… I used the same joke. Twice. Truly, I am sorry. But it is a good joke, and I do so like to get my money out of them before they die. Speaking of which, the act of consistently reanimating that which should remain dead, is also a Conservative staple, as it comes in handy whenever their attempts to deflect or terrorize, fail to take root.

Your mango-man-child got caught paying off a porn star for 30 seconds of sex? Bring up the decades-old Clinton/Lewinsky affair. He got busted stealing classified documents? Casually mention Hillary’s 3 unauthorized e-mails, as if they’re equivalent. And if your twice-impeached and utterly disgraced ex-President suggests that we should abolish the Constitution due to non-existent voter fraud?

Well then, just start babbling about this disproven garbage instead, and hope for the best:

Now seems like a good time to remind everyone, save for the more astute of you that may have already guessed, that this is patently false. What Art Summers is referring to here, is the idiocy that in 2012, Former President Barack Obama signed into law, a codicil making it legally permissible for the media to purposely lie to the American people.

Alas, to the ever-eternal woe of the Alt-Wrong slimeballs behind the marketing of the lies presented hourly on FOX, OAN, Breitbart, Epoch Times, Newsmax, Gateway Pundit, Truth Veritas, and the Daily Caller, this is incorrect, but I guess a morally rudderless group of demagogues can dream the ultimate dream, even if it does come with the crippling effect of having no actual remorse for what they’ve willingly done, whatsoever.

This falsehood stems from the moment when Obama signed the National Defense Authorization Act in 2013, a legislative move which in and of itself, was not intended to repeal the Smith-Mundt Act, but instead, eased some limitations concerning domestic dissemination of media that was government-funded.

With Obama’s signature, the law now allows Americans who freely want to access government-funded media content, such as the Voice of America and/or Radio Free Europe/Radio Liberty, the ability to do so “upon request.”. An entreaty which before the change of the law, was nearly unobtainable to fulfill.

And yet, despite the fact that Americans are still able to access much of this restricted content online, the law as it currently exists, clearly mandates that it is STILL ILLEGAL, (read that again, conspiracists) for government-funded media to produce and/or market, their content to America’s citizenry.

Hilariously, not only is all the info I just laid out for you relatively easy to find, but so is the agency [AKA: The Global Engagement Center, or “GEC” for short] listed on the meme as a reference for the meme’s “research”, which as you all now know, was never actually sought out, or even remotely utilized to begin with. And for a malevolence purportedly designed to deceive the Amwr9can public at large, they sure don’t seem interested in keeping a low profile:

Even more ballsy? They’ve posted their evil plan right out in the open for all to see, as well:

Goddamn… I don’t know who’s currently in charge of the GEC at the moment, but they’re definitely the kind of hands-on administrator that SPECTRE, Black Sun, KAOS, The League of Assassins, COBRA COMMAND, The Umbrella Corporation, and HYDRA, should give serious regard to, concerning their hopefully being poached away from the Federal Government.

And if those agencies turn out to be dead ends for the GEC’s mist valuable team player, there’s always the possibilities of their floating a resume over to the Masons, the Illuminati, and whomever it is that keeps greenlighting those increasingly godawful Fantastic Four franchise reboots:

Nevertheless, let’s try and keep this nationalistically-inspired pandemic of Folie à plusieurs in some sort of perspective, if we may. Also known as shared delusional disorder, or SDD, for the laypersons reading this, the “madness pf many” as such translates, manifests itself as a mental disorder in which delusional beliefs, and occasionally even hallucinations, are transmitted from one individual to another.

Feel free to raise your hands, if this reminds you of any virulent ideology assorted with a particular American political party as of late, because I most certainly have one in mind. As should you all, come to think of it. To be fair, in its mildest incarnation, it can disingenuously present itself as somewhat amusing, if not outright bizarre:However, the flip side of this malevolently gilded medallion, is what can be resultant of its insidiousness, when said collective delusions are taken not only as gospel by their dimwitted disciples, but are also machinated into a directly targeted series of actions, as well. And rest assured, when zealous lunatics are conceived that they alone are the virtuous who are tasked to cleanse “their” world of those they’ve deemed as the wicked, no one is safe

The madness isn’t over, just because Trump got his larded ass handed to him by populist decree in 2020- it will be with us for years to come, perhaps even decades. That is, if the current crop of GQP/Pro-Trump stooges currently serving as cravenly conduits, get to have their say, and/or way. Not to mention, the nutbars that the modern-day conservative movement has created remain among us, spreading the infection still, and if anything, adding even more unhinged layers of inanity icing to their conspiracy cupcakes:

Sigh… somewhere out there in this great Republic of ours, exists a small village, quietly wondering where its resident idiot ran off to, and praying ever so earnestly that it was either into the mouth of an active volcano, or preferably, an overly hungry shark. This sort of thing is one of those tragic examples of a human failing at not only logic, but the keeping of a firm grasp on their already limited sanity, as well.

Let’s unpack what is being presented to us here- it’s not an inquisitive theorem based on fact, but a hardcore case pf mental disengagement from all known reality. First, there’s the issue of the deliberately vague context given regarding the three people pictured, and more importantly, the names of said depicted remain unknown to us as well, which if you want them to become “famous”, is going to manifest itself as being somewhat problematic down the allegorical road.

This lack of credible detail, in and of itself, is not at all surprising, as MAGAts tend to like their conspicuous left open-ended, if only for the wriggle room that such provides, but to cast attempted insurrectionist Ashli Babbitt, the first-time posthumous winner of the newly-minted Congressional “F**k Around and Find Out” Medal, as a complicit double-agent?

Say what you will about these morons, but give them some serious props for kicking their crazy into 4th gear, and running over the family dog, as they do so. For those of you not in the know, Ashli Babbit was, and I repeat WAS, a veteran of the United States Air Force, who after being infected with the scourge that is the ideology of the QAnon political movement, found herself among the mob of traitors that stormed the US Capitol building on ten morning of January 6th, 2020.

On January 5, 2021, the day before the assault on the Capitol, Babbitt tweeted: “Nothing can stop us….they can try and try but the storm is here and it is descending upon DC in less than 24 hours….dark to light….”

Sadly for Babbitt, her prediction of nothing being able to stop “us” was proven adamantly false, when she was fatally shot in the neck by a Capital police officer, after being warned not to continue her advance of attempting to climb through the shattered window of a barricaded door within the Capitol’s restricted-to-the-public area.

The US Capitol Police eventually ruled this thinning of the ignorant MAGA herd as “lawful and within Department policy”, noting in addition that such an action; “potentially saved Members (of Congress) and staff from serious injury and possible death”. And when given the fact that said insurrectionists were actively searching offices for specific individuals and chanting about hanging then VP Mike Pence, I tend to agree with this assessment.

Babbitt was and will always be, a tragically misguided traitor to the country she once swore to protect, and the truly heart-rending reality of it all, is that she undertook her actions under the banner of a mango-man-child who quite honestly, wouldn’t condescend to spit on her corpse if it were on fire. But now, according to the MAGA malcontent that is Susi Downs, she’s part of the Machiavellian malevolence that is the Deep State?

With no due respect Mrs. Downs, I’d opine that it would be rather diplomatic of me, if I dare suggested that the beat part of you, dribbled down your mother’s chin. But Susi of the Bat**it Banshees, isn’t alone in her dissemination of lunacy, for as I inferred earlier, this club is open to all- well, at least those who are willing to check their brains at the proverbial door, that is.

Let’s look at one of the unmentioned elephants just wandering around freely in the room, if we may- despite Trump’s two years of weakly asserting that J6 was the result of noble patriots protesting a “rigged election”, he has yet to do anything to help same said loyalists who’ve been charged with a wide variance of crimes relating to the riot.

Close to 1000 people face consequences ranging from minor to major, for acting out in support if Trump’s whims, and thus far…  he hasn’t done squat for any of them. Not one rally dedicated to raising the money required for a competent legal defense, not one act on their behalf of offering his under-oath testimony given in person, or more realistically, by video deposition, and most tellingly, not one dime documented coming out of his closed to his followers’ pockets, either.

Nine if this matters to his cult of personality pinheads though, because despite all evidence to the contrary, they collectively “just know” that no matter what, their Supreme Leader would never even think of abandoning them in the same way that he has his wives, mistresses, friends, family, and eventually- most trusted allies, for years. Some of this ever-virulent connection to outright madness can be mildly off-kilter, such as this particular exchange here:

Damnit.  Just noticed that I used the same joke thrice. I’m not sure if that’s because I’m seriously tired of dealing with these inane idiots, or if I’m just hitting a lazy phase in my middle-age. Probably both. Bath is good. Now, whole Kevin is obviously living in a world chick-full of Republican rainbows and erroneously selective comprehension, our next looney-tune Trumpist exists in a world that has gone full dark:

I’m not entirely sure what’s currently eating Gibert Gripe here, but I’d lay serious odds that it’s exceedingly hard to pronounce. However, as I’d like to encourage the creative impulse residing within my fellow citizens, let me just say that if this rambling whatever the f**k it is, were to ever be made into a movie directed by *Douglas Eric Liman, I would watch the hell out of it, without a trace of guilt.
[Swingers, The Bourne Identity, Mr. & Mrs. Smith,]

But as it is with all things in MAGA World, no matter what the topic is, be it factual or fantastical, there’s always a mentally-defective cultist who manages against all odds, to craft delusional disingenuousness into a cautionary tale as to just why if you go to a person’s house and they don’t have any books, having sex with them should be an option that’s immediately removed from the table of future plans.

And if you think I’m being overly cynical, then please enjoy the following evidentiary proof:

I cannot even begin to apologize for putting you through that, but imagine you were me, sitting at home, resplendent in your Nightmare before Christmas pajamas, eating a bowl of Cap’n Crunch at 2 in the morning, and you accidentally came across this person, who can legally drive, own a gun, handle sharp pointy things, reproduce, and most terrifyingly… VOTE.

As noted above, I’m not entirely sure what’s currently eating Gibert Gripe here, but I can say that it’s moving through his rapidly degenerating brain, faster than Taylor Swift runs through boyfriends. And while his expressing himself isn’t a crime, his mangling of the English language, along with its grammar and the proper spelling of its vast lexicon, should be.

And lest ye have forgotten, all of this is presented as nothing less than a representational tribute to the twice-impeached, treasonous, lying, grafting, perverted, insurrectionist, and wannabe fascist, who posted this:

Normally, I would refer to this tiny-handed, soulless, morally corrupt, allegedly mushroom-dicked, whore-mongering (and impregnated mistress marrying) piece of human pudding skin, with some colorful if not derogatory nickname, such as “The White Pride Piper”, or maybe even ”The Lone DeRanger”, both of which in my humble estimation, I feel are dead-on. in my ever so humble estimation.

Nevertheless, and speaking only for the eventually to be archived for posterity historical narrative, I think the most apt account of him is simply that he’s no less than a feige Verräterin, who even at his best, is still the worst bedrohung zu Demokratie, that America has ever had to face from within itself.

Feel free to Google those descriptives, because for the money, the German language has some of the best wards ever to describe that which is normally intangible. For instance, the word “Backpfeifengesicht”, which in rough translation, refers to a face that is badly in need of a punch to it.

Which, if we are to be truly honest, is a perfectly normal reaction when one finds themselves in close proximity to any singular person who openly, if not proudly, still supports this treasonous and scrotum-chinned, degenerate baboon. After all, it’s bad enough that we had to endure four far-too-long years of this man-child’s scandals, sexism, racism, naked avarice, stunning incompetence, and narcissistic commentary amounting to nothing, save for piles of literal and pointless word salad.

But now? Dealing with his never-ending fever-dream, wherein he’s the undeserving victim of a cravenly cabal intent on keeping him from the power that he alone, should wield without the oversight of that pesky Constitution he’d prefer be terminated, has been nothing less than a national embarrassment.

And as you’d expect, his calling for the cessation of the very document that our country was founded on and under, raised almost zero concerns among the most devoted of his slavish sycophants.

And while it is true that Rep. Adam Kinzinger, who served as the vice-chair of the House committee investigating the J6 uprising, did say that “not a single conservative can legitimately support him, and not a single supporter can be called a conservative”, the displaying of an equitable amount of non-committal silence from the majority of the GQP hierarchy, was seemingly the rule of the day, and not the assumed exception.

This as well, is also not that much of a shock, as conservatives have proven time and time again, that in their pathetically clouting quest to retain their political power, they’ll happily chuck their sworn oath and personal ethics under a bus, for no other reason than to briefly secure the mercurial favor of a facetious firebrand who would gladly set them aflame, if he needed to stay warm.

Tasty pick, guys. Definitely worth the public humiliation that’s sure to follow for doing so.  

I mean, it’s one thing to hitch your future to a proverbial cart, but when you can’t differentiate between its driver and the jackass pulling it, maybe it’s past the time for a moment of self-refection. However, such inner contemplation is ostensibly not a skillset that the GQP membership can access, given their almost sociopathic hatred for current president Joe Biden, who as “we all know”, was responsible for “stealing” the 2020 election out from under Trump.

Even worse, his arrogance at getting away with it, has only worsened, as supremely evidenced by this 2022 Christmas Eve post, in which he spews his saccharine salutation without shame:

The nerve of this Socialist suck-up- not one word about Jesus Christ, the mythical deity who’s also “the reason for the season” as the cool kids like to say, and on top of that, an inference that despite our political and/or personal differences, we can still find common ground?

Well, screw that buddy, and keep your touchy-feely whiny-woke crap, the hell away from me, if you please. I can’t speak for you of course, but if I desire a Christmas message imbued with the truest spirit of what is being marketed by conservatives as American civility, I’ll go with this guy:

Jesus weeps, that’s beautiful, isn’t it? The extending of Yuletide blessings to not only the wrongly descripted “Radical Left Marxists”, but heartwarmingly, the FBI as well, despite them having the unmitigated gall to catch caught him orange-handed stealing classified documents.

And making sure that his “LOVE TO ALL’ encompasses the special prosecutor, and for some unknown reason, his wife and family, as well as the DOJ who’s going to be sending him to prison sometime in the hopefully near future? That is the epitome of class, boys and girls, and unlike one of Trump’s business checks, you can take that sucker to the bank and cash it like a boss.

One quibble though? If Trump is indeed “clairvoyant”, as he so proudly claims, then why didn’t he foresee the failure of Trump Steaks, GoTrump (a travel website), Trump Airlines, Trump Vodka, Trump Mortgage, “Trump: The Game”, Trump University, Trump Ice (bottled water), the Tour de Trump, the Trump Network, and the United States Football League?

Not to mention, his multiple bankruptcies, his two failed marriages, his dipterous reign as our 45th President, his history-making dual impeachments, and the outcome of the 2020 election? I don’t know that much about the practice of Telesthesia, but I would suggest that the only gift of remote perception that Adolf Twittler here has ever possessed in buckets, would be achieving full clarity after the fact of whatever he’s done has become public knowledge.

Edgar Cayce, Trump is not. But he and Theresa Caputo, the allegedly fraudulent Long Island based medium, could probably find themselves working a carnival side-show together, after their mass marketability has cooled off somewhat.

Speaking of which, it does seem that as of late, Trump isn’t the Gilded Boy he once thought he was. His third attempt at a run for President appears listless and without direction, his ranting is up, while its populist appeal is seemingly wearing thin, and even his once stalwart ego-stroke rallies, are becoming sparser in both their attendance, if not their societal impact.

And for a narcissist such as Trump whose ego has always been far larger than his inherent ability to back it up, the deliberate lack of current mainstream media interest in what he says, does, or thinks, must sting like the ever-loving indictments that are sure to be coming his way.

And if you doubt me, understand that Trump bade the press utilize a ‘media availability’ slot at his annual Mar-a-Lago New Year’s Eve soiree, and not one cable news network covered the event. And in a true “Et tu, Brute?” moment I never would have guessed could ever happen, that list also included Trump’s stereotypical propagandistic lapdogs, Newsmax and FOX.

This unexpected blow to his delusion of being all that and a bag of loan-skips, caused him to take to the Web, and finding himself inspired by his earlier Christmas message, he decided to go one better, and craft another that was even dumber, if not far viler, than its predecessor:

Call me insensitive, but when both your baby mama, as well as your side-chick, leave you hanging with a case of allegorical blue-balls, rather than delivering the expected threesome you thought was coming your way, the tensile strength of your self-worth, has got to be reduced to that of a bowl of microwaved Velveeta.

Which, let’s face it, is already kind of what Trump resembles to begin with. And that’s on a good day.

Granted, the additional embarrassment he suffered at the hands of the public at large being made aware via his court-released tax returns, that his decades-long attempt at mythologizing his supposed intellectual and business prowess, was actually constructed on the quicksand of unwarranted braggadocio, which to be honest, is the only skillset that this mango Mussolini has ever actually possessed in gilded buckets.

And this loss of faux face, regardless of how much dime-store bronzer he applies to it, has most certainly rubbed his repulsive rhubarb raw, something that this post inadvertently attests to

Clearly, this mewling man-child has no unde5standing of just how the American legal system actually works, despite his being continually, if not criminally, involved with it on a first-name basis for decades.

To note, my Cheeto Führer: no president has ever had “standing” over their own election, due to the realty that there are still THREE branches of government involved in the process. A fact that while highly inconvenient for s wannabe fascist like yourself, is essential to reaffirm the necessity, that America remains a constitutional republic, and not the second-rate Stalinist state that you’d like to install, via your cult of puerile personality.

“Nothing to see here, folks, save for a bunch of faux patriots cosplaying “I’m a Nuremberger.” ‘.

Additionally, it is not “unprecedented” for a President to hand over their tax returns, as American Presidents have been doing it WILLINGLY, SINCE NIXON RESIGNED IN DISGRACE.

Not only are you the first president who’s refused to do so in close to fifty years, you’re also the first one that fought multiple court challenges to protect that which was already widely known- the reality that you’re a fraud, a liar, a tax cheat, a hypocrite, and worst of all for your petulant ego, you were never a “Billionaire”, and you never will be, either.

I’ve never met you my treasonous firebrand, and quote honestly, never hope to, but given your penchant for having a sensitivity in concern to your public image that’s rumored to be equivalent to the skin of an onion, that last part just has to burn your larded ass, as if you were using the lava jets of Stromboli as a bidet.

However, it’s your slamming of the Supreme Court that I’m really enjoying here- can you imagine the frustration of managing to successfully install no less than three of your expected allies with great confidence, “knowing” that they would protect you from prosecution, if not supplementary public mortification, and then experience them doing neither, as they refuse to even take a side-glance at your weak AF case claiming non-existent voter fraud?

Ouch, I say. Just “ouch”. I’ve heard the saying that you should “keep your friends close and your enemies closer”, but I myself, have never kept either so close that they could easily place my spawn-hammer into a blender, and then hit the “liquefy” button, as if they were ringing the service bell at a dry cleaner’s, let me tell you.

As for the rest of your (as usual) unfounded and reflectively libelous commentary, Biden’s personal tax records fall under the transparency of being an accessible PUBLIC RECORD, so maybe you should “Google”, before you “Truth”. That’s just a friendly suggestion, from me the cynical realist, to you, the insanely peevish 76-year-old mango-tinted-toddler, who believes that tantrum-throwing is akin to a measured debate.

But then again, should we expect anything less from the humiliated man-child that posted this?

That’s the potential GQP 2024 Presidential candidate everyone: the self-described member of “the lucky sperm club.”, and “stable-genius”, who’s undeniably “really smart”, with the “highest IQ”, and concurrently, the “best friend” that Women, Blacks, and the Gay Community “will ever have”.

Trump, who is of course, none of these things, once aggrandized in an interview that his process for defining the creative decisions in his life was, like the man himself, actually quite simple: “I try to step back and remember my first shallow reaction. The day I realized it can be smart to be shallow was, for me, a deep experience.”

Irrespective of what his words, deeds, and certified reality have to say about such boasts, this narcissistic immaturity isn’t a singular character quirk of Trump’s- it is quite literally, the entire essence of his pathetically putrid being.

Trump is every AXE-soaked Bro at a college party, bragging about all the women he’s (never) had, he’s every middle-aged ex-jock, lying about his (non) glory days on the high school field, and he’s most certainly the stereotype of every born-into-wealth-man-child, who received stock tips and flawed character traits from his father, rather than the love he so desperately needed and craved.

And I say this, as a person who’s contending with some seriously major Daddy issues, himself.

However, one of Trump’s biggest failings as a human, is just how bad he is at actually being one. I’ve oft said that if the ethereal aspects of Tone-Deaf and Cluelessness ever had a baby, Trump would be the spawn produced. Speaking only for myself, I have never seen a person that’s so wrapped up in their own self-styled myth, that they can’t visualize the world around them as it actually exists.

And keep in mind, this was a joke once presented to me: “A televangelist, a GOP politician, and the writer Wayne Michael Reich, have perished in a plane crash, and find themselves standing before the judgement of the One True God, who queries the trio, as to why any of them should be allowed to enter his Kingdom.

The televangelist says: “I spread your message passionately, and converted thousands to your faith.”. God ponders this for a moment, and says; ” That is awesome! You may sit on my right side.” He then asks the same question of the GOP politician, who states; “As I too believe in you and your teachings, I attempted to pass legislation to try and mandate that it be part of the American educational curriculum in public schools.”

God obviously considers this a supreme compliment, and then declares: “For honoring me so devotedly, you may sit on my left” He then turns to Wayne Michael Reich, and asks; “What do you have to say, my child? Wayne stares directly at the proverbial Lord and Father to All, and curtly announces; “Look buddy, I have no goddamn idea in Hell who you think you are, but I do believe that you’re sitting in my f**king seat.””

Now, while this is disturbingly accurate on many levels, it still doesn’t compare with just how disconnected Trump is from the common pond of human interaction, overall. Whether it’s his confusing 9/11 with the convenience store chain known as 7/11, as he did back in 2015, his ability to create cringe-worthiness out of the empty air is legendary.

Take said speech where he does so, and that, ever so flawlessly: “I wrote this out, and it’s very close to my heart. Because I was down there, and I watched our police and our firemen down at 7/11 — down at the World Trade Center right after it came down. And I saw the greatest people I’ve ever seen in action. I saw the bravest people I’ve ever seen.”

Now, while this is no more than a slip of the tongue that could happen to us all, it’s compounded by the should be embarrassing fact that as I noted earlier within this screed; there is no credible evidence of his ever being present at Ground Zero at any point in the process. No valid eyewitness accounts, no personal or journalistic photo exists of such, nor is there any corroborating news footage either.

But as I just assessed, Trump is so far removed from that which makes us human, he literally has no idea what to do when confronted with, or sitting in the presence of, an actually functioning one. Case in point, his remarks concerning former POW, the late John McCain: “He’s not a war hero. He was a war hero because he was captured. I like people who weren’t captured.”

This vile statement BTW, courtesy of a craven who faked “bone spurs” to avoid the draft, while McCain was undergoing torture imprisoned in a cage, but I digress. Let us also not forget this delightful slice of his inherent misogyny, directed at Megyn Kelly, who was one of Fox News’ moderators in the first Republican debate: “You could see there was blood coming out of her eyes, blood coming out of her wherever.”

Ahh… degrading the biological processes of women- that’s a sure-fire way to impress them, let me tell you. And if you’re going to try and woo the Latina community to support your ongoing outreach to them, then there’s no better way to do it, than by tweeting; “Happy #CincoDeMayo! The best taco bowls are made in Trump Tower Grill. I love Hispanics!”

This casual racism aside, let’s ponder its influence regarding his 2015 suggestion on “Fox and Friends”, that we (the US) should not only kill the terrorists that threaten us, but their families as well, which by the way, would be considered a war crime: “The other thing with the terrorists is you have to take out their families, when you get these terrorists, you have to take out their families. They care about their lives, don’t kid yourself. When they say they don’t care about their lives, you have to take out their families,”

And when it comes to the African-American voting demographic, nobody has ever had a stronger sales pitch than Donald J Trump: “You’re living in poverty, your schools are no good, you have no jobs, 58 percent of your youth is unemployed. What the hell do you have to lose? Yup… that’s the embodiment of an all-around well-balanced human coming through, kids.

Sadly, I could go on for days reciting his seemingly endless list of inanely soulless commentary, but I think you’ve all grasped the concept of what I was exploring at this point. That being, he literally can’t “human”, even when his fraudulent fortune, facetiously-based fame, and continuing personal freedom, depends on his doing so.

However, where this abominable character flaw of his really comes shining through, is when there’s actual human suffering occurring within his purview. Take this moment of compassionate humanity, snapped at an aid station in Guaynabo, Puerto Rico:

That’s Trump, in his alleged guise as the US President, tossing out rolls of paper towels to FLOOD VICTIMS, as if he were shooting free-throws for the Knicks. Ostensibly visiting its residents after Hurricane Maria devastated the island, it’s now obvious that his failed attempt at engaging in humanitarianism, was no more than a PR stunt, designed to save orange-face after complaints that the US government’s handling of the storm’s aftermath was too slow, became too public for him to ignore.

Trump for his part, whose actions were labeled as being “insulting” by Carmen Yulin Cruz, the mayor of San Juan, found himself branded as the “mis-communicator-in-chief”, by the same, due to not only his disgusting act of chucking the proverbial Bounty, but for his complaining about the expected cost of storm recovery, as well.

In a stunningly clueless revelation of his lack of basic concern for others, the ever-oblivious Mango Moron said to the unfortunate assembled, that; “you’ve thrown our budget a little out of whack… but that’s fine”. In a later media interview, Mayor Cruz noted that “there was no exchange with anybody, with none of the mayors”, highlighting that; “this terrible and abominable view of him throwing paper towels and throwing provisions at people, it really… it does not embody the spirit of the American nation, you know?”

Trust me, Mayor Cruz… WE KNOW.

But as is normal for our narcissiically nattering nincompoop of numbskullery, he didn’t see this embarrassingly immature debacle in quite the same way that the world entire did, going so far as to confidently tweet the following, without any definable trace of self-awareness for the fiasco itself, or the well-being of those he had selfishly subjected to it:

Once again though, this inferred claim of being the true victim of a situation really shouldn’t come as any form of unexpected surprise to anyone, as avoiding reality and/or the blame for such, is just the SOP for this perpetual SOB. Aww… was the international media correctly calling you out for acting like a jackass on the world stage, Donny? Poor baby. Here’s a room-temperature Diet Coke, served with a heaping slice of STFU, you walking tangerine-tinted taint.

Lest we’ve forgotten, irrespective of the true parameters of what is actually being discussed at any given time, Trump’s gift for deflecting his role in regards to it, is aways on point. A prime example of this, occurred when the husband of Former Speaker Nancy Pelosi, Paul Pelosi, had been attacked inside their home as he slept, by a hammer-wielding QAnon-conspiracy-theorist, allegedly inspired by Trump’s seemingly never-ending litany of election fraud lies

Trump’s personal take on the political atmosphere that led to the attack, and which he most certainly, was partially responsible for? Just what you would expect from the type of person who has never once in his over-privileged life, ever been forced to truly suffer the consequences of the actions that he undertakes.

In an interview that he granted to the conservative Spanish language outlet, Americano Media, Trump’s signature tone-deafness was on full-display as he opined that: “With Paul Pelosi, that’s a terrible thing, with all of them it’s a terrible thing, Look at what’s happened to San Francisco generally. Look at what’s happening in Chicago. It was far worse than Afghanistan. We have to give the police back their dignity, their respect. They can solve the problem. But today if a police officer says something that’s slightly out of line it’s like the end of his life, the end of his pension, the end of his family, We can’t do that. We have to give the police back their authority and their power and their respect. Because this country is out of control.”

If I were to ask an understandable question, of this self-styled stable genius, it would center on just what, pray tell, do the cities of San Francisco, Chicago, and the country of Afghanistan, have to do with Pelosi being attacked in his home by one of his cravenly-delusional cultists? Not to mention, what in the f**k does the entirely separate issue regarding the alleged loss of police dignity and authority, fit in as well?

I don’t know what’s truly the most pathetic thing about Trump, and mythical Lord knows, there’s quite the list to openly choose from, but his incapacity to just answer a simple question “correctly” and then just succinctly shut the hell up in regard to it, has got to crest at the top of his particularly unique inanity incline.

To be fair, when factoring in his love of gleaning schadenfreude from the misfortunes of others, I’m actually quite surprised that Trump was so measured in his remarks, what with his exceeding dislike and turbulent history with former Speaker Pelosi, because after all, this is also the same allegorical “man” that after Senator John McCain died from brain cancer, whined that; “I gave him the kind of funeral that he wanted, which as president I had to approve, I don’t care about this. I didn’t get a thank you. That’s OK. We sent him on the way, but I wasn’t a fan of John McCain.”

Say what you will about Trump’s sense of faux victimhood, but nobody could ever successfully claim that they ran into it accidentally, given both its appalling girth, and ever-increasing decibel level. For the more erudite among us, the assumption that Trump would learn from his transparent mistakes was considered a safe bet, but as we all eventually experienced for ourselves, any such expectations, were fated to be dead wrong.

Speaking of things that are dead, you would have thought that while Trump himself may be dumber than a brick, certainly his hand-picked advisors would have gained valuable insights from his growing gaffe assemblage, and in that sense, you might be on to something, but even when the message disseminated was perceptibly transposed by someone else’s hand, Trump’s revulsion for all things sympathetically expressed, still bleeds through:

So, what exactly, is wrong with this solemn message of remembrance, you ask?

Well to start, the sympathy expressed within, is granted to the Republican party first, before the family that actually suffered the loss, which regardless of what side of the partisan fence you may find yourself standing on, is the epitome of tastelessness. Second, at no point throughout this message entire, are the actual names of “Diamond” (Ineitha Lynnette Hardaway) and her surviving sister  “Silk”, (Herneitha Rochelle Hardaway Richardson) ever notated.

This could be due to his wanting to acknowledge them as he knew them, (IE; “no better TEAM anywhere”) or more likely, it’s because he didn’t know, or more to the point; care to know, their real names to begin with.

I base this horrific in any other situation assessment, on the following comment he made in his role as an invited eulogist at Diamond’s funeral service: “I’m serious, I thought I knew them both. I didn’t. I knew Diamond but I didn’t know Silk at all. I just learned about Silk.” [To Silk] “You’re fantastic. You’re going to carry on beyond, beyond anybody’s wildest imaginations.”

This, despite comments in the past, where he labeled them both as “warriors”, and tweeted; “But I love Diamond & Silk, and so do millions of people!”, after FOX cut ties with the duo for disseminating debunked conspiracy theories about COVID-19. In response, the Trump campaign issued a statement saying that; “Diamond and Silk are tremendously valued supporters of President Trump. They fight for the President and are continued valued members of Team Trump.”  

To his exceedingly limited credit, while he did refer to Diamond as one of the “world’s brightest stars”, and despite the reality of D & S being co-chairs of Black-Voices for Trump, as well as Women for Trump board members, along with having been previously invited to the White House for a face-to-face with Trump himself, he still thought that Silk at her sister’s funeral, (and to her face no less) would appreciate hearing; “I didn’t know Silk at all. I just learned about Silk”?

Despite this unintentional (?) slight, when Silk took the stage, she posited that; ‘Instead of asking if Americans are vaxxed or unvaxxed, the real question to ask is: Are Americans being poisoned? In the wild, when they want to depopulate and sterilize a large group of animals, they usually inject one animal, and that one animal infect the rest of the animals, People are dropping dead around here, and nobody is talking about it! They are dropping dead suddenly and unexpectedly.’

This asinine suggestion, hurled by a woman who had recently lost both her sister if not her meal ticket, then segued into a possibly Freudian slip, as she chronicled the final moments of her sister: ‘She said to me, ‘I can’t breathe.’ It was something out of nowhere, and no warning. Each breath was less, and less, and less, What I want to say to everybody is don’t you dare call me a conspiracy theorist. Because I saw it happen. I saw how it happened. I was there when it happened, and it happened suddenly.”

First, this sounds like the classic symptoms of a COVID-related death, and second, no it didn’t “happen suddenly”, as Silk had tweeted; “Anyone who believes in the power of prayer please pray for Diamond,”, back in November, which was quite the passage of time before her sister’s eventual death. And thirdly, Silk’s claim “Because I saw it happen. I saw how it happened”, underscores a question that as of yet, nobody seems to have asked, that being: What exactly did you “see” happen, Silk?

If your equally as dumb and now deceased sister didn’t die from COVID, just release the cause of death, and those that are curious, will move on. If she did, and yet you maintain that it was the vaccine she took that actually killed her instead, then it means that at least one of you is (or was) a flaming hypocrite, given your very well publicized and marketed stance regarding both COVID, and its medical bulwark.

In lieu of this telling coinky-dink, Silk has steadfastly maintained that her sister did not die of COVID, tweeting: ‘Where’s your proof that my sister died from contracting COVID-19? No Proof plus No Truth equates to a Lawsuit”, which of course, is not how any of this actually works, and is probably as close to an admission that COVID was indeed the cause of Diamond’s death, as we’re ever going to get.

Silk’s incendiary antivaxx statements, as yet unproven, obviously inspired known nutjob, allegedly antisemitic Jewish Space Laser critic, and full-time conspiracy theorist Rep. Marjorie Taylor Greene, to take to Twitter, and launch the following “I need 15 more minutes of Fame” Molotov cocktail: ‘I demand an IMMEDIATE investigation into COVID vaccines and the dramatic increase of people dying suddenly! This can no longer be ignored and is NOT political.’

And just in case any of you have lost the thread of this narrative, all of this took place at a funeral. AT A FUNERAL. A MEMORIAL DEDICATED TO THE PUREST REMBERANCES OF A PERSON’S LIFE.

Seriously. What. In. The. Actual. F**k.

However, it only gets “better”, for as we’ve all come to expect, Trump used his time at bat, to show just how bats**t crazy he’s become, by issuing such compassionate bon-mots as; “Countries are emptying out their prisons and mental institutions into the US! And gas prices are too damn high! Also inflation is bad!”

Staying on brand, he remained off target and tone-deaf throughout the memorial-service-turned-Trump rally,, by issuing some rather bizarre commentary about the crowd size, saying that; “The chapel wouldn’t have held the kind of people, the number of people that we have, And we’re doing it right and that’s the way it should be and I did notice a big line of very, very nice vehicles outside. That’s got to be handled properly, right? So we’re going to handle it properly. Go out in style. She knew that. Go out in style.”

By the way, said number of people that purportedly couldn’t be “held” was estimated to be around 150, so as it is the case with all things Trumpian, up is down, dry is wet, and three inches magically becomes a very girthy seven and a half.,

Nevertheless, Trump did get back on track (sort of) when he summed up the three hours plus service where (GASP!) he wasn’t the primary center of attention, with his as equally sensitive assertion of; “They told me, just give me a little time. I’ve got a lot of people waiting for me back in a place called Palm Beach, Florida. They said give me a little time. What do you think it’ll take? About 15 – 20 minutes, in and out. I said ‘Well it could take longer.’ This is a little longer than 15 minutes, right?”

Don’t worry, Donny- when the glorious day comes that you did something good for humanity by shuffling off the mortal coil, your service will not only be over in 15 minutes, it’ll have time to spare, as the only people in attendance, will be there to happily pi** on your grave, which I can only assume, will be gilded.

As he wrapped up his truly inappropriate session of self-aggrandizement, he inanely referenced his 2020 election loss and subsequent lies about it, saying: “How do we stop the cheating? How do we stop it where you get more votes, but you still don’t win? The answer is the Republicans have to get tougher, the top people have to get tougher, and you have to really swamp ’em.”

Now, I know what you’re thinking: shocking that a man who has shown such retrained decorum in the past, would be so crass at such a potentially painful time, but let’s not forget just how Trump actually viewed this racially-embarrassing duo of Stephanie Fetchit cosplayers. In their first appearance at a Trump rally in 2015, our Captain of Condolences here, introduced them by saying; “I hope you monetized this- do your routine.”

Do your routine”, said the then most powerful man on the planet, using the same tone of voice that Bart, the former slave and newly appointed sheriff of the fictional town of Rock Ridge in 1974’s “Blazing Saddles”, was asked to perform a musical number by a cowboy known only as Lyle: “When you were slaves, you sang like birds. Go on… how about a good old ni***r work song?” 

Granted, while those weren’t the words that Trump used, the inferred inflection was the same, regardless, and therein that account, lies who Trump really is- a shell of a man that when the once useful to his personality cult find themselves eternally separated from his influence, either by choice or mortality, considers their prior said value as GQP tokens, as negated. Such is the fate of all Trump allies, albeit sooner or later.

And if I may continue on with my bluntness, be it ever so curt, such is, and always will be, the providence of his slavish fan base as well, because for Trump, people are no more and no less than the accessible means to whatever end he wishes to achieve.

Fortuitously for me, if not the wrapping-up of this particular screed, I have the perfect case in point:

A “MAJOR ANNOUNCEMENT”, you say? Well Donny, I’m all ears. Obviously, this must have something to do with the policies you’ll be promoting via your previously declared 2024 run for president, or maybe even, the launch of a strategy to get all those prosecutions you’re currently facing, to go away. You know, like your 2nd mistress and 3rd wife, wishes you would?

However, I could be wrong about all of that, and this pre-warning you’ve posted for us all, is in regards to who will be both your VP pick and eventual scapegoat, when you get busted yet again for usurping established Constitutional law. I hear Kari Lake has a lot of free time on her hands these days, and the best part is that she’s rumored to come with her own built-in set of Instagram filters, for media interviews.

After all, you did say that; “AMERICA NEEDS A SUPERHERO”, and I can’t think of a better superpower for a politician, than the ability to always be in soft focus when they have to talk to Tucker Carlson, can you? What’s that you say? I’m way off-base in regards to all of that? Well then, my masculine maestro of marketing, what amazing thing is it exactly, that you’d like to share with us?

[Artbitch stares blankly into the void, closes laptop, walks into his kitchen, and starts slamming Pan Galactic Gargle Blasters two-fisted, as if his very life depended on doing so. He then lapses into an alcoholic-inspired diabetic coma, “sleeps” for four days, wakes up, groggily re-opens laptop, and seriously contemplates just why he does this to himself, and wonders if it’s too late for him to choose another career. Say like knitting, perhaps?]


Here we collectively are, attempting to rebuild the country’s decorum and political process, as we’re being repetitively barraged by your claims that only you can fix the damage that you and your ilk debatably inflicted upon us, and rather than use this moment to introduce allegorical salves into the national discussion as a means to help America regain its unity, you laud this egotistical circle-jerk, instead?


However, as I’m obviously not a card-carrying member of the MAGAt brigade, my opinion can be considered (and rightly so) as somewhat circumspect. So, how well did the average Trumpist adherent react to this wholly unexpected big reveal?  In all honesty, I’d charitably say that the reaction was mixed:

As it turned out, his slavish base of mental malcontents was expecting political progress, not shameless personal promotion, and as such, Trump’s unveiling of his newest alleged money-laundering scam, was widely mocked not only on both sides of the partisan pasture, but within the Alt-Wrong media sphere, as well. And as I noted earlier, such an occurrence being bestowed upon an egotist such as Trump, is akin to you or I, being denied the gift of oxygen.

Other believers, who prior to Trump’s non-announcement, guarded the metaphorical corridors of his MAGA mansion with literal sweat and blood, were far less inclined to be charitable in concern to his pathetic cash-grab, especially those who, thanks to their willing involvement in relation to the detestable events of J6, are now facing some serious prison time:

I for one, would never willingly align myself in any way. shape, or form, with such a person as “Baked Alaska” as he’s not only an Alt-Wrong loon, but a stridently ardent advocate of White Supremacy as well, but all that aside, I will begrudgingly have to admit that this warrior of the Vanilla Vanguard, did call it correctly here.

Not only has this moron tossed a good chunk of his life away for a gritter doused in snake oil, he did so based on a lie. And I don’t care who you are, or what you believe in, that’s still gotta sting like a bitch. But as bad as that is, the reaction from the MAGAt community at large, has been one expressing disgusted confusion at their Mango Mussolini’s pandering.

Damn. That’s some serious blow-back, especially from the cravenly cultists that previously, were seemingly cool with Trump’s history of adultery, pathological lying, alleged tax fraud and money laundering, self-admitted sexual assault, payments of hush money, derogatory commentary regarding women, minorities, POW’s, Muslims, immigrants seeking asylum, and numerous documented acts of possible treason.

And who among us may I ask, would have ever guessed that the allegorical line in the sand for these asinine adherents, would be drawn at trading cards? If we had only known then, what we unfortunately know now, maybe, just maybe, we could have enlisted the help of Topps four years ago, and stopped this demagogue of dipshi**ery before he even began.

But seriously and with all jokes aside, how bad could these cards really be?

I’ve often joked about there being no God, and as you’d surmise, I have no proof whatsoever to back up my theorem as such. But now? I’d dare say that not only does the existence of these artistic monstrosities certify my atheism, they may finally provide the metaphorical ammo that I’ve been lacking all these years, to convince others of the same.

But as with all things Trumpian, there’s a catch, and it’s laid out right at the start of his sales pitch:

What a deal- if you buy just one of these “rare’”cards, you can not only win 1000’s of sure to be unrewarded prizes, there’s the slimmest of chances for you to meet the twice-impeached ex-president and future federal inmate, Donald J. Trump! All you need do, is give ninety-nine dollars of your hard-earned money to this purported billionaire and known huckster, and you’re in like Flynn.

By the way, the definition of “rare” is such: “(of a thing) not found in large numbers and consequently of interest or value”. Keeping in mind that these cards are not printed, they’re essentially digital downloads, and that the repository of availability is 45K, calling these cards “rare”, is like saying that come Christmas time, you can’t find “It’s a Wonderful Life” playing on TV.

You get the idea, but trust me, it only gets more ridiculous:

For those of you bad at math, this golden opportunity to break bread with possibly the most disgraceful ex-president in American history, will set you back $4,555. The very idea of paying that much to have dinner with a known traitor, while disgusting, is really not what I’m curious about here, to be honest. I’m far more curious that when given Trump’s well-known tendencies to do all things on the cheap, if said dinner would look like this:

Sadly, this is not a still from an SNL skit, or a photoshopped image, either. This was the in all seriousness “dinner” presented to Clemson University’s football team, winners of the national college championship. 300 burgers, as well as pizza and fries, were on the menu, and despite what it looks like, this event was being held at the White House and not a small-town Wendy’s, which would have been far more appropriate, in regards to the embarrassing fare that was being offered.

Speaking of his disconcerting attempt at a grand fete, Trump blathered; “We ordered American fast food, paid for by me. Lots of hamburgers, lots of pizza, we have some very large people that like eating, so I think we’re going to have a little fun.” Continuing on, he declared that; “I like it all, it’s all good stuff. Great American food … I like em all, if it’s American I like, it’s all-American stuff, but it’s good stuff. But I’ll bet you as much food as we have – we have pizzas, we have 300 hamburgers, many many french fries, all of our favorite foods – I wanna see what’s here when we leave, because I don’t think it’s gonna be much.”

Oddly, despite the fact that he had already notated the number of burgers at the event being no more than 300, Trump later claimed that 1000 burgers had been ordered instead, because… um… he’s a practitioner of grandiose lying, perhaps? But I’ll let the lying king speak for himself: “I had a choice – do we have no food for you or do we give you some little quick salads that the first lady will make along with … the second lady, I said you guys aren’t into salads. Or, do I … go out and send out for about 1,000 hamburgers. So that’s what we did.”

Now, with that fine example of high-end catering under his belt, I’m confident that any dinner that Trump plans, is sure to be a hit. That is, if he actually plans to have any of those so-called “winners” on the guest list:

Gosh… are you thinking what I’m thinking? That maybe, just maybe, there’s a very good chance that Trump plans to take the money he made from this alleged money-laundering scam, and run for the safety of his gilded bathroom at the very first opportunity? Nah, that just has to be my inherent cynicism bleeding through, cynical, because just look at all the other “prizes” that are laying around, awaiting their chance to be awarded to an unwitting yet still willing, mark:

Wow. Given the high-caliber quality of both these cards [sarcasm alert] and Trump’s penchant for not living up to any of his promises, I’m curious to see just how many enthusiastic suckers believe that any of these advertised accolades, will ever actually be awarded to the delusional throng that fell for this garbage.

I’m sorry- did I say that these digital disappointments were of “high-caliber quality”? My sincerest apologies, as my intended assessment was to point out that these traitor cards, dedicated to one mans egotistical circle-jerk, are akin to what would result if I had asked my 78-year-old formerly ditch-digging sprinkler contractor father, to play with Photoshop, and then blocked all access to the online tutorials showing him how to use it properly.

Case in point, this completely amateurish photocollage, wherein Trump’s vacuous head has been crudely grafted onto somebody else’s body, with the end result being exactly what you would expect of anyone associated with the King of Outsourcing.

To illustrate what I’m talking about, let’s take a look at said image, as it appears on the traitor card website:

Right off the bat, you’ll notice that something seems off, and you’d be right. Trump’s head in particular, seems as if it’s set a tad bit too high on his non-seen neck, his skin tone doesn’t seem to be in balance with the atmospheric lighting of the image, and there’s a peculiar halo effect occurring about his face and hair as well. A closer examination of this image, reveals just why that is, and trust me, it’s hilarious:

Goddamn, that is truly pathetic AF. My seven-year-old grand-niece could do a better job of photo-masking than this, and she’s still using those safety scissors that look like a panda:

You would think that a self-declared “billionaire” who once tweeted, and that, without any sense of irony; “My two greatest assets have been mental stability and being, like, really smart”, might have actually employed a competent photo retoucher for this project, but I can only guess that the guy he did hire, spent most of his time giving Trump the idealized body that he’s never possessed, instead.

I’m going to go into what the far bigger problem with this incompetent assemblage s in a few moments, but for now, let’s just note that this isn’t the first time that Trump has passed this sort of thing off as if it were normal. Take for instance, this weird, if not wholly mentally unbalanced, post of Trump’s from 2019, wherein his 73-year-old countenance, was grafted onto the body of the then 16-year-old climate activist (and Time’s Person of the Year) Greta Thunberg:

After seeing this act of puerile pettiness from a cravenly and treasonous septuagenarian aimed at a teenager who, by the quickest of comparisons alone, is a far more mature and worthwhile addition to this planet than he will ever hope to be, I feel that I have to rescind my earlier statement regarding what is, or should I more correctly say, what was “truly pathetic AF

This is. Hands down.

I mean… how f**king weak must your ego be, that in your undeserved role as one of the most powerful people on Earth, the thought of a child being on a magazine cover sets you off as if you were a six-year-old that’s been denied candy at the checkout line?

But here’s something even sadder… this isn’t the first “Time” that Trump has done this:

In 2017, Time Magazine demanded that Trump remove the cover depicted above, one that was seen hanging prominently in no less than six of his golf clubs, because it was deemed to be by Time itself, as being nothing more than a [SURPRISE!] mediocre fake. The image, dated March 1, 2009 did not correspond with the actual issue of that time period, which featured the actress Kate Winslet, instead of America’s walking analog of a diaper-rash poster child.

While this public humiliation perfectly illustrates Trump’s pathological need to have his ego masturbated every five minutes, the really odd standout about this act of barely middling forgery is that there was no actual need for it to begin with. At that particular moment in time, (no pun intended) Trump has already garnered a number of covers under his ever-lengthening belt, and therefore, had more than a few to choose from in concern to his interior decorating options.

In fact, Trump once (?) even openly bragged [what a shock] about what he had accomplished: “I have been on their cover 14 or 15 times. I think we have the all-time record in the history of Time magazine,”  

Regrettably for Trump’s onion-skinned ego, the New York Times discovered that while Trump had [at that time] landed the cover on 11 separate occasions, the record for most covers, with the total being set at 55, belonged to the equally disgraced former President Richard Nixon, which on some level, just has to set some sort of benchmark for foreshadowed irony.

Now even though it may not be obvious as to why I’m dredging up this ancient history, it will manifest its importance down the road. Until then, I suggest we get back to examining some of the more interesting aspects of Trump’s venture into NFT land, starting with the incredibly unique ordering process involved:

So, to recap this in its essence, if you want to buy a specific image of Trump, albeit as a Cowboy, Astronaut, Jet Pilot, or my personal favorite, whatever the f**k this is supposed to be;

… best of luck to you, because you’re going to get what you get, irrespective of what you actually may want. Which, when you think about it, is definitively on brand for anything that Trump is seemingly involved in, or married to. But don’t you worry, because if you do come back to your senses later on after realizing that you’ve been duped yet again by your mango-man-crush, you do have options open to you.

Just not any good ones:

That’s right, kids- despite all the legalese babbled throughout this self-declared non-advisory panel, all you need know is that while you can openly sell or “trade” your collection of magic beans, there’s no firm guarantee that they’ll retain their value, nor is there any respite from Trump’s money-grubbing ways either, as the 10% “royalty fee” most certifiably asserts.

And if you honestly believe that the artist who created these eyesores of artistic impenitence, will ever see another dome past the pittance he was moist certainly paid, have I got a deal on some traitor cards for you.

Oops. Never mind. Somebody already beat me to it.

But if buyer’s remorse does come a knocking, and you find yourself asking; “if I’m dissatisfied with my so-called purchase, at least I still have the opportunity to get all of my money back, right?”, well, get ready to understand that you’re dealing with a man who once he gets a grip on your money, (or anyone’s for that matter) the only way that you’ll ever see it again, is when he brags about what he just bought with it:

In fact, the company that lunched this venture, known only as NFT INT LCC, supposedly operates out of Delaware, but the physical address of said company, is linked to a PO Box in a Utah-based UPS store. I’m sure that’s not an indicator of shadiness or anything, regardless of all evidence to the contrary.

Unfortunately for Trump, his seemingly money-laundering NFT shell company, and whomever he hired to craft this comically inept and savagely mocked collection, they didn’t use any of that money to buy the usage rights of the images that they digitally manipulated to form this collection of cringe.

Remember when I earlier alluded to Trump’s proclivity for forging a false legacy? I guess old habits die hard, especially when they can be used to make an as always, dishonest buck:

Yup, you read that right. The Ex-President of the United States, supposed billionaire, self-declared “stable genius”, and guy who’s “really really smart”, allegedly created his NFT collection, using unlicensed, copyrighted photos that are rightfully deemed as intellectual property, from companies such as Branded, Scully Sportswear, Men’s Warehouse, Walmart, Amazon, Shutterstock, and even NASA.

You know… low-profile companies that nobody has ever heard of? Man, I don’t know if it’s chutzpah or mental illness that drives Trump to make these asinine power-plays, but either way, the intellectual void that serves as the barometer for his critical thinking, is most definitely out of whack.

However, even when I take into account Trump’s past history of licentious appropriation, I still find myself hard-pressed to believe that he could be that goddamn openly stupid, without some form of tangible evid…..
Oh look, there it is! Right out in the open, for all to see. I guess ’former Secretary of State Rex Tillerson was right after all, when he allegedly called Trump a “f**king moron”, because the proof of such, is literally laid out right before us.

Honestly, I’m not sure if we should even be collectively mad at this latest act of blatant act of theft on his part, or far more furious that after decades of practicing graft, Trump hasn’t gotten any better at not getting caught engaging in it. As is the case with many of you, I’ve heard my share of stories about royally screwing oneself, but they’ve always been metaphorical, and not a certified act of willingly doing so with a dildo fashioned from fish hooks and razor blades.

Because if there truly are “hundreds of different cards featuring President Trump”, the odds are equally good that our Mango Maroon, just opened up an entire truckload of legal whoop-ass, on purpose. Tillerson may have said the obvious in concern to charting Trump’s single-digit IQ, but yet, his influence over the GQP’s mindless masses, remains as strong as it ever was…. sort of.

By that, I mean to highlight the current cycle of self-inflected implosion the Conservative movement is seemingly suffering through. Whereas Trump was once unquestionably the Gilded Boy of divisive politics, the ivory tower that he once occupied ever so haughtily, is starting to show some serious foundational cracks.

Other than the Alt-Wrong media pullback earlier descripted above, Trump’s disastrous ploy of backing unqualified, yet loyally sycophantic candidates in their run for office, such as Karl Lake and Hershel Walker, resulted in losses that across the board, were akin to nothing less than the GQP accepting an unexpected group invitation to bathe at Elizabeth Bathory’s house.

Factor in the earlier presented examples of even the most ardent of his cravenly clique feeling free to call out their Emperor for wearing digital clothes, and you can easily understand just why headlines like this, are becoming that much more common, as his abominable appeal interminably wanes:

In fact, a well-known Trump ally, former Secretary of State Mike Pompeo, got right to the point describing this feeling of underreported malaise currently afflicting Republicans, when he tweeted; “We were told we’d get tired of winning. But I’m tired of losing. And so are most Republicans,”

And that’s what if took for the GQP to finally start finding Trump considerably distasteful… the losing.

NOT the dereliction of his duty to the American people. NOT the ceaseless whining about losing the 2020 election to non-existent voter fraud, nor the lies he’s continually disseminated regarding it. NOT the boorish vulgarity that he so proudly displayed on the world stage. NOT the incompetence of his administration’s response to the COVID-19 Pandemic. NOT the praising of dictators. NOT the glad tidings given to a pedophile’s procurer.

NOT calling for the unwarranted arrest and prosecution of political enemies. NOT the demand that freedom of the Fourth Estate be chilled. NOT the self-admitted acts of deliberate sexual assault. NOT the stealing of classified documents. NOT the two impeachments, the nepotism, the cronyism, or the graft that sprung unfettered from its insidious installment. And most disturbingly, if not tellingly, NOT THE ATTEMPTED OVERTHROWING of established American democracy, to boot.

When Trump found himself handed his allegorical walking papers, if not his own fat ass, at the end of his four years too long reign, the stench of the GQP’s monstrous malevolency, was finally revealed at the literal doorstep of the People’s house. Make no mistake- the acquisition and maintenance of power over the American citizenry is their actual endgame, and not the betterment of said electorate, in regards to it.

But here’s where some unintentional humor does comes shining through, somewhat. It seems that despite his well-known reputation of being nothing more than a disingenuously conniving dimwit, the one thing that Trump hates most of all, is being regarded as a “loser”. In fact, it’s one of the mango-man-child’s favorite insults to cast against others, but when it’s applied to him?

Well, as it turns out, the Duke of Dipsh***ery doesn’t like that accurate assignation very much. Trump’s incessant requirement to feel that he alone, is the smartest, the most masculine, the most charming, and certifiably, the most important person in whatever room he finds himself in, has undoubtedly crippled him emotionally, if not politically, but as anyone who’s ever observed him for five minutes or less already knows, his Achilles heel has always been his personal hubris.

So, what in overall essence, has changed concerning this?

For the self-alleged man who once infamously said “I win, I win, I always win. In the end I always win”, as if repeating an obvious lie could actually make it come true, the pain that his ego his suffered since his 2020 election loss, must be akin to the numerous indignities that would be rightfully inflicted upon one of his supporters wearing full MAGA gear who had attended a BLM meeting by mistake.

And due in very large part to several embarrassing revelations he wanted kept hidden from the public, ranging from financial to intellectual failures, no matter what he says or does as of late, seems capable of stopping his increasingly disgruntled fan-base, his rapidly distancing themselves former political allies, and both sides of the Mainstream Media, from labeling him [somewhat incorrectly] as yesterday’s old news.

I say “somewhat”, because when you contemplate that Trump possesses a delusional confidence of self that biographer Tim O’Brien once clarified as “Richter scale narcissism”, the only way he’ll ever exit stage left is by force and in handcuffs. Which, if he keeps admitting to the committing of serious crimes via his media interviews and online posts, the reality of such an act occurring, seems more like a forgone conclusion, rather than an ethereal hope.

Time may not tell the story, but Trump seemingly can’t stop doing so, and if there truly is Justice to be meted out, his cup is most certainly, going to be runneth over.

However, let us not repeat the sins of our past, and discount the underlying fibers of fecality that are still intertwined within the fabric of current American politics. While Trump is a source for the majority of what is truly wrong with that institution as it now stands, he’s also a pustulant symptom of the festering rot (on both sides) that has poisoned it ever the last few decades, as well.

As easy as it would be to blame the infestations of fascist fan-girls and Brownshirt-boys on Trump alone, he is not the root cause of these issues entire. The fault as I just noted, is equally borne by both sides of the partisan principality, and while it is true that Conservatives have ratcheted their collective insanity into the metaphorical stratosphere, we on the Liberal side, must also accept that the ones who let them do it, as well as selling them the fuel necessary to do so, was us, and nobody else.

Yeah, I said it. And even more annoying, I actually mean it. Speaking as someone who has walked the path of the Left for quite some time now, I’m sort of done with the communal pearl-clutching and feigned offense at the mere thought that any action we may take collectively for the so-called Greater Good , might negatively impact a particular person, social group, or specialized populace.

NEWSFLASH: all decisions, good or bad, have a negative consequence for someone, and there’s no getting around that. EVER. We as Liberals, need to finally understand that as a rule, we are not dealing with opposition fluent in the language of Logic, Humanity, or Reality, any longer. If anything, our asinine adversaries have proudly revealed nothing but a virulent contempt for the same, and this, to a disturbing degree previously unforeseen within this country.

Strange as it may sound, whenever I run into one of these intellectually bereft boneheads, all I can think of is the “recruitment” speech given by Blazing Saddles villain, Hedley Lamarr:  “I want rustlers, cut throats, murderers, bounty hunters, desperados, mugs, pugs, thugs, nitwits, halfwits, dimwits, vipers, snipers, con men, Indian agents, Mexican bandits, muggers, buggerers, bushwhackers, hornswogglers, horse thieves, bull dykes, train robbers, bank robbers, ass-kickers, shit-kickers and Methodists.”

Minus the Mexican bandits, (for obvious reasons) this list of the socially deplorable not only reads as if it were taking attendance at a Trump rally, it also seems like it could represent a fairly accurate rendering of just whom the GQP is looking forward to backing in the upcoming 2024 elections, as well.  

Make no mistake- our foes, such as they are, have declared war on all that they despise, fear, or willingly fail to understand or are unable to control, and if the pathetically tragic events of J6 have taught us anything at all, it’s that the odious opposition we face is more than willing to go the extra mile regardless of personal consequence, to achieve their abominable agenda. And if you need proof of this, just check out these charmingly not-mentally-ill-at-all posts from Trump’s cadre of loyal MAGAts:

He seems really nice, doesn’t he? Man, if this is the best that the ghosts of our Founding Fathers can produce, I’m pretty sure we could win the allegorical battle just by asking them as a collective, to structure a paragraph correctly. As a rule, I, wouldn’t normally call myself a “Grammar NAZI”, due to the negative connotations attached to both that descriptive as well as my last name, but in reference to these clods, I’d be more than happy to go full literary Bradenburger on them as a group, if the need ever arose.

Speaking of which, this next member of Meal Team Six, has some definitive ideas about what he would do, if given the chance, and it’s a humdinger of a time, let me tell you:

I’m no legal scholar, but I particularly like the part where he defines the “Enemies of the Constitution”, right before he arrogantly declares that the “Geneva Rules” would be suspended, in order for his masturbatory militia fantasy to be be enacted against those that he alone, would deem as undesirable to his country:

Unfortunately for my honorary commander of the Gravy Seals here, he got the most important thing incorrect. First off, it’s not the “Geneva Rules”, that would find themselves deferred, but the “Geneva Conventions”, which requires humane treatment for all persons in enemy hands, without discrimination. It specifically prohibits murder, mutilation, torture, the taking of hostages, unfair trial, and cruel, humiliating and degrading treatment. It requires that the wounded, sick and shipwrecked be collected and cared for, as well.

And no Greg, you don’t get to choose any of how that works out, save for the times when you’re pleasuring yourself to the idea of it, as suspending such protections, is tantamount to committing a war crime. Not to mention, the correct word choice here Greg, should have been “met with a fury”, and not “meet’, you absolute f**king MAGAt moron.

Tell you what, my camo and ammo enthusiast, if you think your collection of piddling pop guns, field rations, and pristine collection of “I Bleed Red White and Blue” bumper stickers, can take on the full might of the applied armed forces of America, please feel free to f**k around and find out. I could use the free entertainment, and our collective gene pool would appreciate the upgrade gifted it, by your removal from it.

But not all of the seemingly mentally-ill that comprise the MAGA faithful such as the two above, are violence-projecting idiots, thank goodness. Some are just so far off the mark from established Reality, that your first instinct as an actually functioning human, is to give them a hug and a pat on the head, wrap them in a blanket, and make them a bowl oi tomato soup:

There used to be a rather famous dance called the “Lindy Hop”, with its heyday lasting from the 1930’s until its eventual peak in the early 1940s. It is characterized by fast rotations, swing outs, and high-energy footwork, and while I have no evidence that Lindy here has ever engaged in it, I would dare suggest that if she has, she’s landed on her head instead of her feet… a lot.

“Who is Donald J. Trump?”, her meme asks. Easy answer, Lindy.

He’s the trust fund mango-man-child who, through the provenance of lucky timing and a voting power-base of slavish morons, became the 45th President if the United States of America- a position that he abused beyond the pale to acquire fraudulent wealth and undeserved power, while simultaneously embarrassing himself, this country, and the office itself.

He’s the nepotist who selected his unqualified family to administrative positions, he’s the only President to be twice-impeached, he’s the White Supremacist fan-favorite, who called Neo-Nazi’s “very fine people”, he’s the bigot who executed a ‘Muslim travel ban, he’s the tax cheat who refused to release his tax returns, the first time in four decades that a President has declined to do so, and he’s the narcissist that lied about his inauguration and rally crowd sizes.

Continuing on, he’s the brute who suggested to police officers to maltreat suspects, and he’s the science-denying jackass who withdrew from the Paris Agreement on climate change, he’s also the shortsighted sh**head who cut a pandemic early warning program, just two months before the COVID-19 pandemic occurred, he’s the Islamophobe who retweeted anti-Islam videos from a racist organization based in England, and he’s the xenophobe who referred to Haiti and El Salvador as “sh**hole countries*.

On top of all that, he’s known as the spoiled brat who labeled Democrats as being guilty of “treason” for not applauding his 2018 State of the Union address, and he’s the tone-deaf twat who blamed the FBI for nit preventing the Parkland school shooter, citing their investigation of him as a major cause, as well as being the publicity-seeking coward who ordered the pepper-spraying if BLM activists, just so he could pose with a holy book he’s never read, in front of a religious institution that he never visits.

Not to mention, he is in addition, the vaccine conspiracy disseminator who tried to take credit for the vaccine, he’s the whiner who launched a ‘voter fraud hotline’ that had to be discontinued after pranksters swamped it with bogus reports, he’s the joke of a President, who walked out of a ceremony honoring Dan Gable, who was being awarded the Presidential Medal of Freedom without explanation, which might have been due to the revelation that he once publicly uttered, about wanting to give himself the same honor.

But lastly, and most importantly, he’s the traitorous slug who stole classified documents, and fomented an attempted insurrection after he lost his 2020 re-election bid, leaving his riotous followers to rot in prison, while he skipped away with their money in his pockets, and their love for him still puzzlingly intact.

That’s who he is, Lindy. Glad I could clarify that for you.

These slight never to be considered aggravations for his devotees aside, Lindy’s meme seems almost quaint in light of what her fellow idiots are posting these days. Some for instance, are just so goddamn stupid and delusional, that you can only wonder just how the people responsible fir their creation, have managed to make toast for all these years without fatally injuring themselves in the process of doing so.

If you’ve ever pondered just why Preparation H still needs usage instructions, here’s your answer:

When I was younger, it was rumored that there was a specifically naughty film wherein a woman who was also named Debbie, supposedly “did” Dallas, but I wasn’t aware that they had made a recent sequel where an entirely different Debbie, did “Dumb”. JFC, I’ve heard of the Blind leading the Blind, but I always assumed it was referring to Stevie Wonder hosting a charity sing-a-long, and not Helen Keller giving a guided tour through a Cambodian minefield.

I like how Debbie No-wits-ki here, accuses the “Dems and RINO’s” of violating the Constitution for daring to hold Trump accountable for his numerous acts of dereliction of duty, as well as alleged treason, while deliberately ignoring the same. Toss in her conveniently forgetting that just a short time ago, (and as I described earlier) it was Trump who openly called for the abolishment of the Constitution entire, and you can easily see why the interior spaces of Debbie’s house, purposely have no sharp corners.

Debbie has some other rather interesting takes on Trump’s “actual” situation , one of which I will be sharing later on, but as as you might have surmised by now, the lunacy of his most die-hard adherents, despite finding themselves somewhat diminished on the national stage these days, still clings to the bones of certain individuals, as it were the very marrow encased within them.

Such is the case with this sparking example of mental obesity, one James Oscar Holmes of Woodbridge, VA- seen here, working on his “Spock has Stage 4 Alzheimer’s” makeup for 2022’s Star Trek Las Vegas Convention:

So, how did this obvious eyebrow caterpillar aficionado of unique intellect, wind up on my ever so faithful radar? It’s simple, really. As it is with most of the alleged humans I so caustically chronicle, all he had to do, was post something mind-bogglingly stupid, and the Universe stepped in to guide my hand. You’d be amazed how often that happens, and yet… people are always genuinely surprised.

For the record, this is what initially got my attention, a brainless beauty that truly, has it all:

As an affirmed and happily open atheist, I find the concept of slavish worship to a supposed deity, other than that which should be naturally and willingly accorded to Milla Jovovich or Debbie harry, somewhat mystifying.in both its practice, if not the rationalizations given for doing so. But even from my logically sound perch as a non-believer, I know that this statement is all the shades of f**ked up.

If there are any fans of the Celestial among you out there reading this, let me assure you from the comfort of my ironic tower, that abandoning your magically-thinking-based faux faith centered around a virtuously pure divinity, is NOT “tantamount” [correct spelling] to cutting foundational ties with a lying, grafting, whore-mongering, conspiracy-theory promoting, treasonous demagogue, who’s not only a self-admitted rapist, but possibly harboring some pedophilic tendencies, as well.

Even if he and his cult of cucks do regard him as a Deity, which when given Trump’s sociopathic propensities, for delusionally undeserved self-aggrandizement, may be the only thing that he and the mythical “God”, have in common. But lest ye forget, my child of dubious faith, not supporting the walking affront to all that God commands, makes you the heathen here, not the man-pig who wallows in it, as if it were dime-store-bronzer that makes him appear as if he were a deep-fried bottle of Orange Crush.

As for the rest of Holmes’s bizarre word-association game wherein he equates sex changes with of all things, inflation- all I can offer in regards to that, is the wonderment if he’s been sadly confusing his necessary psychotropic meds for his eyebrow hair-dye, yet again. But to his credit, Holmes does know the top priority that all GQP politicians should ascribe to accomplish while in office, and as you’d suppose coming from this odious octogenarian, it’s as vilely insane as his take on religious faith is:

Ah yes, the “Anti-Americans”. The ancestral enemy of all Presidents who find themselves unreasonably held to account for an act of treason that’s barely worth mentioning, much less investigating, just because they attempted to overthrow established democracy via an insurrection based on debunked lies. And if there’s one thing that’s been proven to set these law-abiding interfering bastards straight, it’s additional threats to their safety, lives, and liberty.

I’m sure that’ll work like a charm

And as a logically-based aside James, if Trump hasn’t, or hadn’t done anything wrong, then “They” wouldn’t be able to cause him any actual trouble whatsoever. In fact, by attempting to do so, they’d only wind up increasing his political capital, rather than diminishing it. Seems to me, the only people who are “SCARED” outside of the mango-man-child himself, are his asinine adherents such as yourself, and whomever has to eventually represent him in court.

But Holmes, like most rabid dogs with a desiccated bone, just can’t let “it” go:

Statements like this, where Cult 45 members prophesize that “justice” will be harshly meted out to all who dared oppose the whims of their Tangerine-Tinted Gilded Calf, are both unilaterally hilarious and unsettling, across the board. Hilarious, because the persons moist responsible for espousing it, are either so old that they belch dust, or so morbidly obese, that the only way they could ever the room of retribution, is if they greased up the sides of the doorframe first. 

And unsettling, because they’re not the only ones spearheading this maniacal frame of mind, as clearly evidenced by the events of J6. If we’re going to “ruminate” on anything, the farcical idea that a group of faux patriots lining us up against the wall dispensing vigilante justice, isn’t what we should be worrying about- the fact that they think that they’ll be able to do so with impunity, is.

Let’s call it as it is- anyone who equates a political party being ruled by the mythical forces of the darkly demonic, isn’t expressing a difference of opinion, they’re articulating a festering bouillabaisse of a possible mental illness, if not a psychotic break from established reality.

However, the truly terrifying part of it all, is not just that they believe their own delusions, but that they’re seemingly recruiting to fatten up their ranks by offering their fellow mentally deficient brethren, the validity they seek for the imagined transgressions that they feel they’ve been unjustly subjected to:

As you may have observed, the ignorant refrain that Trump has been unreasonably accused by a cabal of cravenly conspirators, is key to the virulent hatred that’s ever so necessary to fueling the MAGA community’s sense of desired and highly-placed relevance within a society that without their unhinged screeching and numerous acts of inane idol-worship, wouldn’t pay them any mind at all.

What I do find odd though about Holmes unhinged utterances, outside of his bizarre capitalizing of words that don’t require it, even as a literary “punch” point, is the incessant reiteration that Trump’s primary purpose as president, is to serve as an instrument of Alt-Wrong retribution, and nothing else. That’s not a President intent on carrying out the collective Will of the People, boys and girls, that’s a fascist, intent on insulating himself from both societal reproach and legal consequence.

Rest assured that Holmes, as well as the others of odious distinction residing within his fanatical fraternity, are well aware of that. He, as well as they, have just erroneously chosen to place faith in the naive construct that slavish loyalty breeds unconditional protection, despite the fact that the entire known range of History itself, easily proves otherwise.

Stalin had purges, Hitler had the Night of the Long Knives, Mao had the Cultural Revolution, Saddam Hussein, the Comrades Massacre, but Trump? He’s actually done one better than all of those wannabes, for he’s managed to weaponize his cadre of MAGAts into a denomination of disciples who, even after he openly abandoned them on J6 to the American judicial system, still maintain that he’s looking out for them to this very day, despite all blatantly obvious evidence to the contrary.

And for all their talk about “Making America Great Again”, let’s see how they really feel about America: itself:I could quite easily point out that these faux patriots long for an America that’s never existed outside of a Norman Rockwell calendar or a TBN movie, but I’d also have to acknowledge that St. John here, might actually be on to something, albeit from a different direction.

Considering that America is now a widely diverse country with women and the descendants of slaves in a varying range of authoritative roles, and that land ownership is no longer a requirement (or a barrier) to power acquisition, they’d probably not be fans of it, overall.

There would be exceptions of course, as a few of the FF would be totally onboard with some of the commonalities of today, but when you take into account the collective experience of the time frame, they existed in being applied to the standards of today, the majority of them would still find themselves either terribly confused, or possibly even downright terrified.

The contextual underlayment of this meme, as it is with the wider range of Conservative “arguments”, is a false analogy at its best, and it simply doesn’t wash out in the end. I’m fairly confident that if the FF had the ability to time-travel, they’d be mutually horrified at the issues of veteran and elderly neglect, the abominable failure to eradicate childhood poverty and adequately fund access to public education, as well as the clearly defined elitism that has yet to be nullified, in regards to our current justice system.

And I can assure you that as the very archetype of American Patriotism, they’d be repulsed by not only the modern-day GQP for ignoring and worsening these domestic matters so proudly, but by their willing adherence to obey and slavishly promote, the whims of what has turned out to be, the closest analogy to that of a truly mad king that this Republic has ever been witness to, since its founding.

Noble, these cravenly cultists are not, but as they see it, they are nothing less than Warriors of Virtue:

“ULTRA MAGA”: when you need to advertise that your family tree resembles a replacement lead for a mechanical pencil, but don’t know how to do so with the effectiveness required.

I get the communism reference, as the modern-day GQP still believes that word carries some weight, in 2023, but the addition of “Satan” as a credible foe, reveals just how far down the rabbit-hole that they’ve willingly gone. Can you just imagine if Ronald Reagan, Bush Sr., or even the dumbf**k that is Bush Jr. ,had started off expounding on the evils of communism, and then ended on Satan as a wrap-up??

Both sides of the political partisan fence would have lost their goddamn minds, and said leader who uttered such insanity, would have lost not only their previously settled reputation, but their grasp on political power as well. I’ve said it before, and I’m sure I’ll have to say lt again: MAGA IS A CULT, AND NOT A TRUE POLITICAL MOVEMENT.

The differences being, that political movements evolve (or devolve) over time, their leaders as well as their original base of supporters, come and go, and eventually if all goes to plan, they find themselves normalized into whatever is considered to be the “mainstream” at that particular time. MAGA is so not that, as all of it’s energy goes into feeding (and protecting) the voracious ego of a narcissistic human airhorn, and that’s it.

MAGA has no theoretical policies to help the average American, save for trying to convince them that Billionaires are the real victims of the US Tax Code, and need even far more financial absolution. No self-reflecting insights regarding the true reason why an allegiance to Religion is on the decline in America, save for demonizing the LGBTQ Community as being the root cause for it all.

No solution to cease the ongoing pandemic of mass shootings in this country’s schools and public spaces either, except to suggest that they need to be fortified as if Thanos himself, was set to attack them.

No proposals concerning childhood poverty, affordable healthcare, the funding of public education or other such crucial societal infrastructure, and let’s not forget, their willing indifference in regards to certifying the allegorical safety nets provided by federal aid programs for both our deserving veterans ,and the sadly disadvantaged among us. However, don’t you fret, my Children of the Scorned, because these insurrection and treason embracing cultists, have got buckets of “REVENGE” just waiting in store for their “enemies”, be they real or imagined.

Nevertheless, while this may not solidify anything of note, save for their “I’m a Militia” fever-dreams, it will undoubtedly help boost the sales of guns, MAGA-themed birthday cakes,(with white frosting, of course) Chick-fil-A curly fries, Kid Rock and Ted Nugent Cd’s, and most certainly, the bottom line of whomever it is that makes those white robes with the complimentary 3 AM front-lawn BBQ starter set, for the KKK.

See? I can, every now and then, highlight the positive, even if it’s intrinsically linked with that which is negative. And surprisingly, albeit to a limited degree, so can our anti-American MAGA adversaries, as this post attests:

Now, on the surface, this morass of mentally stunted gobbledygook may appear insane, and it most certainly is, but there’s also a great deal of common ground to be found here as well, if only we look at it this way: all of these conspiracy theories displayed within this mess of a meme, are also the things that we find maddening as well, but in reverse stead.

After all, this listing of conspiracies that these MAGAts perceive as the “truth”, are the truths that we know to be conspiracies. If my inherent sense of optimum was cynicism free, I’d say that we were halfway to possibly reaching an understanding, if only from a certain point of view.

The truly ironic thing about this meme however, is that depending on your political leanings, is the quirk that its message could literally work for either side, despite its originator being a staunch conservative who allegedly, views Trumpism as nothing less than the Second Coming.

As I said, common ground. Perhaps.

The problem nevertheless, is the reality that for the last twenty years these simpletons have ingested a diet of puerile propaganda that over time, has slowly altered their brains to the point that while they still have the ability to absorb knowledge, they lack the capacity to retain any of it that directly challenges their unsupported misbeliefs, or to be franker, their unhinged delusions.

So how can we as a nation overcome this ideological divide, and find ourselves reintegrate with each other once again? In the simplest abstract, we just can’t. Too much allegorical water has gone under the bridge where these treasonous trolls live, and to be fair, some of them have forgone the right to be allowed to walk among us as freely as they once did.

I say this, because my logic regarding such, is sound. If someone had spent close to six years chasing you around your house, trying to bash your head in with your very own fire extinguisher, how willing would you be to let bygones be bygones?  Especially if their only excuse, was that they had been fed blatantly obvious lies that a four-year-old could have sussed out as being pure bulls**t?

Yeah… me neither

Make no mistake; it took us decades to find ourselves here, but it will take us far longer to get out from under the weighty stench of it all. The damage willingly allowed by both political parties, albeit with some marginal resistance within their ranks, is a real-life episode of an American Horror Story that will be dissected with derisive disbelief for a far longer time then the deprogramming it will take to leach its insidious influence from those most affected by it, and those various others that they’ve inflicted it upon.

The ideological adherence to the false belief that they’re being subjected to unwarranted victimization, is nothing new whereas the modern-day Conservative movement is concerned, but it’s gone from being a cravenly gambit occasionally played, but now, serves as the Alt-Wrong’s paranoid war cry for not only the highly susceptible and ill-informed among their inane ilk,, but their de facto leader as well:

This narcissiically characteristic claim to being the protector of all under his gaze, despite his penchant for throwing people under the bus as soon as they prove useless to him, came mere hours after Trump found himself impeached for abuse of power, just before he found himself additionally saddled with a second article of impeachment, charging him with obstruction of Congress.

Ironically, Twitter wound up taking down the image, after receiving a copyright complaint from the New York Times, who as it stands, retains the rights to said photo. In a way, this is par for the course for America’s tangerine-tinted-taint: claim the superiority of your position, and then immediately undermine your falsely believed validity, by doing something that proves you’re dumber than drunken sand.

For the record, if not the sake of posterity, Trump is not “in the way” of anything, except perhaps, the restoring of this country’s soul, which he gleefully ripped asunder to serve his own egocentrically licentious self-interest.

And as for his claim that “they’re after you”” No, “they” are not. In fact, they could care less about you, save for when you’re at6tempting to overthrow democracy at the behest of an asinine apostate, who, as he’s shown time and time again, wouldn’t condescend to piss on you, if you were to be set aflame in his presence.

Not only does he want to watch the world burn, he’s more than happy to use you as the kindling to do it.

So, here are your choices, MAGAts- you can either hop back on board the reality bus, earnestly atone for the numerous and odious transgressions inflicted upon this county, your neighbors, your family, your friends, and most importantly: yourself.

And only then, can you endeavor to rid your psyche of the parasitic conspiracy theories, racism, misogyny, xenophobia, anti-LBGTQ hysteria, which you’ve been ever so eager to propagate as if it were oasis’s in the desert. Or you can remain as you are: paranoid, oblivious, cravenly, hateful, and in the end, the cluelessly inadvertent villain of your own story.

A fate, which if you’ve ever read a fairy-tale book all the way through, rarely works out well in the end.


“My optimism wears heavy boots, and is loud.” – Henry Rollins