Wayne Michael Reich

Writing ∙ Photography ∙ Art


Month: September 2020

Hateriot Lames PT.3 (You Ken leave your Hate on)

“As you grow older, you’ll see white men cheat black men every day of your life, but let me tell you something and don’t you forget it- whenever a white man does that to a black man, no matter who he is, how rich he is, or how fine a family he comes from, that white man is trash.” – Harper Lee, To Kill a Mockingbird

Hello Blogiteers!

A question for the assembled crowd at large: is there truly anything more damaging to the legacy of Humanity than the sin of pridefully virulent racism? And yes, while I know that the social acceptance of both Crocs and Twinkie cereal actually existing is disheartening, what I’m talking about here to be specific, is the kind of purposeful stupidity you only see openly displayed by the countenance of your average Trump supporter. This in and of itself, is not too shocking, considering their Pavlovian response to the racist dog whistles heralded forth by a tin-plated demagogue. In front of people. With cameras. That record everything he says. And does. And implies. Statements and actions so grotesquely contrary to what America stands for, he should just go the full nine yards and persuade *Hugo Boss AG to revisit some of their earlier design concepts for the NAZI uniforms they so proudly used to make, and become his exclusive clothier for all of his future Nuremberg cosplay rallies.

*[Hugo Boss was a German fashion designer and entrepreneur, who founded the still-in-existence clothing company Hugo Boss AG, Boss was also a loyal member of the Nazi Party as far back as 1931. The company, using a work-force partially comprised of Polish and French POW slave laborers, was responsible for the production of the uniforms of the SS, the SA, and the Hitler Youth. But hey, they did graciously offer a sincere “apology” for doing so in 1999 after a lawsuit was filed by Holocaust survivors, so I guess we should totally grant them a tree within the quiet serenity that is the Garden of the Righteous Among the Nations in Jerusalem, am I right?]

However, if ignorance is truly Zen as suggested by many, then what flows through the conscious mind of your average Trump cultist must make a *Carfentanil smoothie look like a glass of tap-water by comparison. Which is amazing in retrospect, since the best their idiot leader has ever managed to whip up is Adderall in a sippy-cup. That aside, the evidence of a sheer mental dissociation from reality that I’ve observed among the members of the **RHB, has only lent credence to my working theory that America is currently infested with sociopathic half-wits who view racism, paranoia, and pridefully abject stupidity, with the exact same respectful awe that I as a 13 year old, once happily expressed towards the iconic Phoebe Cates coming-out-of-the-pool scene in 1982’s “Fast Times at Ridgemont High”. You know… because of the cinematography?

*[Carfentanil is an opioid that is 10,000x stronger than morphine and 100x more potent than fentanyl. Intended as a tranquilizer for elephants, it is not intended for use in humans. This does raise the question though- how does a pachyderm react if its normally dependable bag-man runs out of the soaked-in-happy peanuts it craves? You’ve seen how a shopper at Walmart responds when asked nicely to wear a mask, so my guess it’s something like that, but with far less morbid obesity.] **[Red Hat Brigade]

Regardless of where you fall within the political spectrum as of late, it’s become fairly clear to even the most traditionally stolid conservative among us, that America is no longer casting its fabled beacon of light to the world. If anything, we’ve become that one embarrassing friend that just says, and does, whatever the hell comes to mind, irrespective of the appropriateness or situation at hand.

Granted, our friends and allies may not say anything about it to us at the time, but you just know the minute we turn to go grab a cigarette or refill our drink, the forcefully whispered question that gets asked of the hapless host is “Who the f**k invited America, and why? Seriously England, you couldn’t get a ride with anybody else? Your lack of self-respect is exactly the reason why France never returns your 3am booty calls.” In reference to allegedly possessing truly no measurable sense of dignity or personal self-reflection, todays screed will offer up a possible solution to the query as to what might occur if one allowed functional illiteracy and former Grand Wizard of the KKK David Duke, to have a hate-f**k quickie inside the *Ehrentempel, and then purposefully orphaned the resultant branchless family tree within the borders of New Mexico’s high desert.

*[Ehrentempel, (AKA: The Honor Temples) were two edifices erected by the Nazis in 1935 Munich, and housed sixteen sarcophagi of NAZI party members who had been killed during the ill-fated Beer hall putsch that occurred in 1923.]

 However, before I introduce you to a person who seemingly thinks that the Freedoms granted by the Constitution don’t truly apply to individuals that in private and select company he might refer to as “uppity”, when he’s not stating that they’re 3/5 his worth, I’d like to offer up a tasting menu of sorts first, if I may. You know, to prepare your palate for the rotting soul of what’s to come. As I’ve noted more than a few times within the last few pieces of stand-alone writing, where I currently live is at most times, somewhat bucolic and rather laid-back. It’s quite rare in fact, for me to find myself face-to-face with people that truly deserve to be deep-massaged with a baseball bat, and that suits the ol’ psyche just fine these days.

New me, and all that happy jazz, you know. But when it comes to interacting with select citizenry of my humble burg online? Holy Mother of Monkey-milk, you’d swear that the national chapter of Anti-MENSA was headquartered here. Even when given the sadly tragic fact that the state of New Mexico ranks fiftieth in public education, it still doesn’t fully explain why the intellectual void here is seemingly so bottomless when it comes to the dire lack of comprehension regarding the tenets of actual reality.

To note some unique points of view expressed by more than a few of my fellow online denizens:

Masks are an integral facet of a deep-state government plot designed to control Americans, white people are really the “true victims” of systemic racism, Bill Gates wants to both inject us with a mind-control serum, and “chip” us with a tracking device, Obama will secretly run the White House if Biden wins, unless of course, Biden immediately resigns and turns it over to Kamala Harris, who is in all actuality, not even an American citizen, and therefore ineligible to run for VP.

And when it comes to the several-months-long civil rights protests occurring on our streets? Well, don’t for a moment think that they’re truly about police brutality and inequality, because according to our soon-to-be-named and totally self-appointed Professor of African-American Cultural studies, nothing could be farther from the truth. Well, his version of the “truth”, anyway. As presented by him, the real victims of today’s racist discrimination are the White Race, and the dastardly perpetrators of such are in no way, shape, or form, the multiple extremist Alt-right organizations we’ve all come to be aware of, but liberals, who, using the machinery of mainstream media, are whipping up a frenzied race-war in order to lay down the fecund groundwork for a society where Whites will eventually become the minority.

But this theorem does raise a question… if, as these people claim, racism doesn’t exist and there is no systemic bias inherent within the systems of America, then why would they worry about becoming a member of a minority group? Fortunately for us, today’s blog honoree has a few opinions as to why that might be. In an unforeseen plot twist, it seems that BLM is not working to raise the awareness of cultural inequality, but are in fact, domestic terrorists, hellbent on either killing every white person on Earth, or maybe subjugating them, depending on the day.

Thankfully, this will not occur until after they move into your neighborhood and decrease your property values first. Lock up your suburban housewives, because the Schwarzes are coming sooner than later, and worst of all, when they arrive, they’re going to kill all the “good” cops. That is, if there’s any cops left, if the Demorat Commie Marxist Socialist Soy-Boy Book-reading Libtards from California don’t defund them out of existence first.

 And when it comes to the ravage of COVID-19, the virus that was created in a lab by deep State operative Dr. Fauci and funded by George Soros, it’s not a “pandemic”, but a “scamdemic”. And in a gambit I honestly never saw coming, I had somebody unrelated to my current blog subject claim (with a straight typeface, no less) that their “cousin” was killed earlier that week when he was run down by a semi-truck.

Now in situ, this sort of gruesome end is not, nor should it ever be, considered as a laughing matter on any level. But here’s where this assuredly true tale got strange. Despite this demise obviously resulting from the unintentionally best cosplay of a windshield bug ever presented to the public at large, the official cause of expiry was listed as “COVID” on the death certificate. Because as we all know by now, the nation’s hospitals, doctors, nurses, and apparently coroners as well, get a sweet kickback whenever they tick off another box on the COVID corpse list.

I’m not sure who’s doling out all those dead presidents, but apparently that cash is being invested far and wide. Granted, given the lack of evidence, and the ridiculousness of said narrative, you might be somewhat skeptical as to the validity of this person’s account, but rest assured, I was all over it. Letting him know that I was a professional (occasionally) writer, I suggested we get this story out there and expose the “truth”, because let’s face it, how sexy and awesome would it be to have a Pulitzer Prize for investigative journalism sitting on the shelf next to my Buzz Lightyear toys?

Plus, an all-expenses paid trip to NYC? Count me in, you son-of-a-bitch.

So, like any competent journalist, I asked for his cousins’ name (he couldn’t remember it) what city this happened in (he wasn’t sure) what state (ditto) and how such an event had somehow not only been overlooked by the 24/7 news cycle of local and national media outlets, but the whole of Google as well. His response to that? Crickets…  and deaf-mute ones, at that. Sure, it’s been close to three months, but I’m confident he’ll get that information to me any day now. Unless of course, the cabal behind this hoax virus arranged an unforeseen toaster-related “accident” to keep him from talking. All, things are possible I guess, when you’ll fall for anything in the first place, no matter how insanely convoluted its essence might be.

I often poke great fun at those I feel (and can usually prove) to be stunningly ignorant, but even I’ll have the occasional dumb as a brick moment, as we all do. However, when it comes to the intellectual chasm between my once thinking that cooking bacon in the nude would work out okay and a stranger espousing that an entire race is inferior based on no more than a quirk in melanin, I’m fairly confident that nobody of particular note is going to hold my momentary density against me in the long run. And that’s even with the now public knowledge that I still proudly own every album that A Flock of Seagulls ever released.

(And after seeing that sweet sense of fashion, you no longer need ask why, methinks.)

But to make sure we’re all on the same page, let me just define via the online Miriam Webster dictionary, just exactly what racism is for those of you who may somehow, may have not been paying attention since you’ve been born. To quote; “Racism is defined as: 1: a belief that race is the primary determinant of human traits and capacities and that racial differences produce an inherent superiority of a particular race. 2a: a doctrine or political program based on the assumption of racism and designed to execute its principles. 2b: a political or social system founded on racism. 3: racial prejudice or acts of discrimination.”

This all seems pretty clear, does it not? However, to a person who is ardently racist, they might as well be gazing through a picture window frosted in Vantablack. For not only do they see themselves as not being racist, they truly believe that racism doesn’t exist in the first place. Why is this, you ask? Because they once “let” an African-American serve as our president, after previously “letting” 43 old white men do the job for the first 232 years of this country’s existence. How progressive of them.

Now, if memory serves correctly, I’m sure we can all recall with great fondness, how racially peaceful this transition was. You never heard of people questioning Obama’s citizenship, his sexual preference, his religious faith, his faithful marriage, his wife’s gender, his children’s biological status, and most definitely, never his sense of patriotism, right? Not to mention, we never saw any truly vile and visual representations of racism either, now did we?

I’m sorry, did a vibe of awkwardness just descend, or is it just over the area where the “Racism is a Myth” crowd have their heads buried? Oh, who am I kidding- if these lowbrow Neanderthals aren’t embarrassed by the stench of their own ignorance, I doubt they’ll feel any sense of shame in regards to their racist hypocrisy either. Why does it always seem that the greatest “champions” of the White race are always the worst examples of it?

Sure, it has to start your life out on a rough patch when it’s eventually revealed that your sister and mother are the same person, but lots of people have experienced the pain of not knowing who their father actually was, and didn’t go on to become full-fledged members of a Klan re-enactors group.

To be clear, I’m not suggesting that today’s blog subject is in any way, shape, or shade (pun intended) guilty of being a White supremacist, but this in my opinion, is probably more due to the fact that they couldn’t pass the very arduous talent portion of the audition where you’re expected to build both a wooden cross, and then set it aflame without spilling the moonshine all over yourself, rather than any notable lack of personal ambition.

That is not to imply that our subject of the moment lacks the ability to become a flag bearer for the Civil Rights movement, it’s just to sadly note that his current intellectual grasp regarding the ideals of such would be considered a viable asset only within the Aaryan agrarian charisma of what was once 1964 Mississippi.

As the saying goes: “Evil never dies, It merely waits. And it grows stronger in the dark.” Sadly, or happily, depending on your perspective, Evil is wide out in the open these days, proudly aided by our troglodyte leader and living its best life. Times may change, racist headgear comes and goes, but the ethnic intolerance playbook remains exactly the same.

The tried and true tropes of gaslighting, stereotyping, half-truths, full lies, victim-blaming, and unfounded moral superiority all get their turn at bat, and the only thing that gets switched out are the names and ethnicity of the scapegoats. And when it comes to those, Lord knows our next batter’s box bitch has his list ready to go.

So, without any further ado, may I gladly introduce our next prime example of what happens when you take a MAGA hat and provide it with the barest minimum of sentience, a true American Patriot, a noble warrior in the fight against applying rationality and the bestowing of human dignity equally, a man armed with more racist memes and pustular points of debate than you could ever hang with a rope, and who also manages to make God reconsider that rainbow promise he once made to Noah at least twice a day, lords and ladies, may I present for your perusal, the unfortunately not alone, but definitely the one and only…

KEN CYKALA!!!  [Deafening lack of crickets……. ]

 Um… people? This is where you clap, remember? Yes, I know, but let’s try to be polite anyways. After all, Ken did take the time out from his busy schedule of embarrassing himself online to remind us all why we need to fund both public education and birth control in this country so badly, along with showing exactly why use of the Internet should require an IQ test first, so let’s give him some begrudging respect. Even if it’s only because he serves as such a fine example of what a bad example looks like.

Besides as liberals, we’re supposed to set the bar when it comes to offering an olive branch to those whose genealogy chart presents as a straight line, and if we don’t do it for this guy, then whom shall we offer it to down the road? That’s what I thought. There’s no need to be rude just because I happen to believe that he allegedly may have the theme from Birth of a Nation as his ringtone, now is there? Of course not.

I first encountered Ken in the comment section of my local newspaper where we engaged in a little back and forth debate- or to be more accurate, I debated, Ken just inanely pontificated, and let me tell you, this guy is a real hoot, Not only is he all in with Blue Lives Matter, (Cops lives, not Smurfs) he’s also pro-Trump, anti-BLM, Anti-Antifa, Anti-Michelle Obama, and man, is he ever so proud to be White.

If Ken were a character in a PIXAR movie, he’d either be depicted as an overly paranoid vanilla shake, or as an overly angry jar of mayonnaise. Granted, it’s not like he’s walking around wearing a Hooded ensemble before, during, and after Labor Day, but he definitely will let you know that it’s us, the White people who are the ones that are truly being persecuted because of our ethnicity, and don’t let reality tell you any different. “I’m not embarrassed to be White!”, he’ll say, and the response from most people upon hearing this most likely will be, “Sir, that’s great and all, but this is a McDonald’s drive-thru.”

And while I have no proof of this, he strikes me as the type of person who when he was a kid, deliberately colored outside the lines for no other reason than the fact that those lines just happened to be Black, and he wasn’t going to buy into that sort of bias against his race. Essentially, in my opinion, he’s what a sentient communion wafer might turn out to be if you gave it internet access and a dogeared copy of The Turner Diaries.

In my observation, Ken is one of those awfully wistful throwbacks to a far simpler time when America was “great”. Women were in the kitchen, making the lord of the house a martini, never once expressing their opinion, all the presidents had always been White and old, Latinos were out in the fields picking lettuce, there were no openly gay people demanding that they be granted the right to marry. in fact, there were no openly Gay people at all, so thanks for that, Obama! And most certainly, there wasn’t any of those uppity Negroes consistently demanding to be treated as if they had the same rights as White people. What a time to be alive, let me tell you.

Since I’m speaking of fantasy narratives, one of the truly curious things that I have noticed among the majority of those who openly promote racially biased divisiveness, is the fact that none of them willingly self-identify as being racist, and they most certainly don’t appreciate it when others bestow such an accurate label upon them, either. For people who like to talk incessantly about how “White Lives Matter”, they seem awfully gun-shy when it comes to openly embracing their bigotry.

In a weird twist of irony, they hate being called racist, but not enough to actually stop being racist. If I was gifted a Confederate flag for every time I was told by one of these White Pride Pinheads that they “have black friends/family/co-workers”, or my personal hands-down favorite, that because they “love Michael Jackson”, it proves that they’re not racist, I’d have accumulated enough of those Starred and Barred banners to decorate either the newest Klan Summer Kamp out in the wilds of North Idaho, or your average Trump rally held anywhere. Come to think of it, there’s really not much difference twixt the two, save for the different colored headgear that identifies just how racist, just how gullible, and just how inbred they actually are.

Because, despite their proudly waving a flag that symbolizes not pride but treason, they’re sadly posing as Alphas, when they’re obviously cuckolded Betas. Factor in their paying for made-in-China merchandise to promote a disloyal demagogue who has proven time and time again, that he would use them as cannon fodder to save himself, if it came right down to it, and you just know that this cowardly coven of Caucasians would still persist under the fevered delusional denial that they, and they alone, are the ones who represent what America stands for.

But they don’t, they never have, and they never will.  And down deep, next to their constantly bubbling bile, and what remains of their souls, they know it too. However, what is really and unintentionally hilarious, is that when these troglodytes whose collective intellect matches that of a mayonnaise sandwich, screech at immigrants that they need to “go back to their country”, they wave the flag of a country that doesn’t exist, within the very same country that defeated it. Hence, the reason why there’s a need to never stop bragging about their unfounded dominant relevance. They’re “owning the Libs”, they’ll say, but considering their inability to hold onto actual reality, I doubt they’ll be able to figure out a way to purchase a sizeable demographic that as a rule, is way smarter than them.

Now, when it comes to the subject of one’s intelligence, let me just say that in all fairness, not every Trump supporter is an idiot. It’s far more accurate to note that they are petulantly angry members of a cult that consumes both intellect and humanity, and spits it back out in the form of incoherent hate. This molded inanity presents itself under a variety of semblances, ranging from homophobia to misogyny, but the one constant theme that this flatulent fan base holds onto with the same death grip that I do in regards to a box of perfectly chilled Ding-Dongs, is none other than that good ol’ fashioned American racism that the age of Trump has brought forth.

And as is to be seen, Ken is seemingly and completely happy to be a paying passenger aboard the out-of-control Trump train concerning that. Even though my town is small, I’ve never had the displeasure of bumping into Mr. Cykala, but that’s more due to my own luck and running in different circles, rather than anything else. If there is one factoid that seems to be true about followers of the Lethargic Pumpkin, it’s that you’ll never have to worry about meeting them in a bookstore, art gallery, library, or at any cultural event, save for something involving either rednecks driving in a circle. or fat guys fighting each other, while clad in Spandex.

Unlike my previous blog subjects, I really have no idea what Ken does for a living, but I’m more than comfortable betting dollars to donuts that it certainly doesn’t involve social work or mentoring urban youth. And I’d also opine that while he may own every movie Kevin Sorbo and James Woods ever made independently of each other, odds are he’s never owned a copy of the seminal classics Cleopatra Jones or Sweet Sweetback’s Baadasssss Song, and he’s definitely never seen the funkiness that is Disco Godfather either, take my word for it.

But when it comes to the Black Lives Matter movement, (AKA: BLM) Ken’s fearful detestation of it and what it truly represents, comes across as only slightly less obsessive than Mark Chapman’s devotion to John Lennon. That’s not to say that Ken is, has been, or will ever become violent, but there’s definitely a disconnection from reality when it comes to his perception of why BLM exists in the first place.

I for one, can’t imagine how sad it must be to live in a place like my current city where the worst thing that happens is that your neighbor’s dog gets loose, and be terrified by the thought that peaceful people who are exercising their constitutional rights in cities hundreds, if not thousands, of miles away from you, are going to show up one day and either kill you, or worse, possibly force you to rethink your inane bigotry when they move in next door.

For clarity if not the restoration of sanity, let’s look at the ethnic diversity of New Mexico, according to the 2010 Census, which was the last time it was tabulated, The breakdown went like this: African American: 2.6%, Native American / Alaskan native: 11.0%, Asian alone: 1.8%, Native Hawaiian / Pacific Islander: 0.2%, and in a development nobody could possibly have seen coming, the “White” population charted at: 81.9%. Or in mathematical terms, us Whiteys outnumber African-Americans in this town by a percentage of 31.5.

I don’t know about you, but I’m feeling pretty good about our chances in a theoretical race war, if one happens. But Ken? Not so much, as he ignores the fact that the reason we have Black Lives Matter now, is that they continue to not truly matter for far too many of my fellow citizens and the founding institutions of this so-called “free” country. Whether he admits it to himself or not, Ken isn’t really that upset about BLM and its objective, past the point of his being forced to acknowledge his openly inherent bigotry, that is.

In the end, he just wants African-Americans to shut up and eternally understand what he feels is, and should always be, their so-called proper place, which just so happens to be beneath him. This POV, other than being woefully repellent in such a modern age, is also laughably pathetic when it emanates from a person who’s publicly posted understanding of humanity is so allegedly low that even a bulldozed flatworm couldn’t limbo underneath it.

What Ken and so many others of his ilk purposefully fail to accept, is the fact that all protest stems from some form of direct oppression. If you want harmony and civility to return and for the protests to stop, then you also need to address the oppression that is its fuel. If all you want is amity without doing that critical step, then your agenda was never about trying to stabilize the bedrock of peace, it’s about your wanting to silence and control persons that you deemed long ago were inferior to you.

To bolster my opinion regarding this, here’s the first course of Ken’s less-than-credible takes on a necessary movement that doesn’t personally affect him at all, but you’d never know it from his ever-growing collection of obsessive love-notes to his imaginary girlfriend. I once thought my dislike of corn-on-the-cob and bologna was bordering on the pathological. But after all I’m about to showcase, I’m starting to think that not only am I fine, I may actually even be able to convince Dr. Rosenberg that I don’t need those Friday afternoon sessions any longer. While on the surface it will seem like there’s a lot to unpack here, there really isn’t.

Ken appears to be no more than a simply ignorant bigot, and his postings reflect the narrow consciousness catwalk running through his psyche. This brief assessment aside, there are a few points I will be touching upon, nonetheless.

As someone who prides themselves on doing his research, it sticks in my craw when others who claim to hold a set of beliefs as sacrosanct, can’t be bothered to do the merest of it, even when it’s necessary to validate their viewpoint beyond the point of all reproach. However, I do need to be brutally honest here, for if the eighteen years of public education and the five decades spent walking this giant ball of solidified space dust hasn’t taught him the joy of coexisting within the human spectrum, my targeted snark won’t make him see what’s been laid out right in front of his eyes since he was born, either.

There’s an old adage that goes “There are none so blind as those who will not see. The most deluded people are those who choose to ignore what they already know.”, and this definitely applies to Ken’s worldview. Especially given that he willingly sealed off his vision using an entire tube of metaphorical if not uber-conservative, Super Glue to do it. But as is my modus operandi, let me just offer a few corrections regarding this assemblage of racist repartee, going row by row, as I lay them out.

Ken: “BLM FB page, let’s get it removed!”

AB: Well, this is odd. Why is that the so-called defenders of the disseminating of ideas always seem to be wanting it limited for others? And does Ken think he and his cuck-boy fan club can actually silence an international movement in this, the age of global access technology? With no due respect, my *rassistischer feigling, if Facebook won’t remove Nickelback fan pages for the common good, they’re definitely not going to remove BLM’s social platform just because your testicles retract every time you see or hear of a Black person using their constitutional rights to assemble, protest the social norms, and utilize their access to Free Speech. *[Google it. It’s accurate.]

One small side note of interest? Ken is also a self-declared member of the microblogging website known as Parler, which launched in August 2018. Its core base of users are hardcore Trump supporters, conservatives, and oddly, Saudi nationals. Hilariously claiming to be a nonbiased “free speech” website, it’s content typically consists of far-right canonized mistruths, antisemitism, and conspiracy theories that are best suited for a tin-foil-wrapped audience. In other words, it’s perfect for Ken, yet he still maintains his Facebook page despite thinking it’s biased and overreaching at times. It’s almost as if he has this  deep need to be continually challenged and subsequently beaten, in regards to his idiocy by the very same people he hates.

Weird, that. If I were to offer any advice to our great White Warrior Ken, it would be this- when you start to enjoy the pain others are inflicting upon you, it might be time to either stop what you’re doing, or  finally admit that you’ve seemingly been nothing but a dedicated bottom all along.

Ken: “I don’t care about BLM the terrorist group.”

AB: Of course, you don’t Ken. Just like how I don’t care about my worst ex living her best life with a widely random selection of men, some of whom are former friends of mine. It’s perfectly normal to obsess this much over things that we don’t give any thought to, and that have no impact on our lives to speak of. And as for your claim that BLM is a terrorist group? Since BLM was founded in 2013, there has not been a single death that can be verified using valid evidence to claim that this is so.

Has there been violence, death, and looting at some of their protests? Most certainly. Is it BLM’s fault? I’m afraid not. White people never blame the Detroit Tigers when their fans throw a violent riot to celebrate game wins, so the same should be held in regard here as well. And if you feel that BLM is responsible for mayhem they don’t advocate for or even remotely control, then you should be just fine holding the NRA and gun manufacturers responsible for mass shootings as well, just so there’s equitable balance.  In addition, the number of people killed by right wing extremists’ numbers in the hundreds, and even the FBI lists the abominable ideology of these organizations as an ever-growing threat to our national security.

The worst thing that generally happens when you run into a hardcore left-winger is that they’ll either try to sell you on the concept of Medicare for All, or the health benefits of eating a vegan muffin, so ease the f**k up.

But since you slurred BLM as a “terrorist group”, I am forced to mention this interesting *tidbit- according to a report compiled by the Department of Homeland Defense, the biggest threat to America today is, and I quote; “white supremacist extremists (WSEs) will remain the most persistent and lethal threat in the Homeland through 2021.” *[https://www.businessinsider.com/dhs-white-supremacy-deadliest-domestic-terror-threat-politico-2020-9]

Let me repeat the salient part for you again Kenny, as I know your brain tends to work like a child’s toy racetrack- all loops, no control, and very little adult supervision to speak of. The most persistent and lethal threat in the Homeland through 2021 will be WHITE supremacist extremists, NOT African-Americans who just want to be able to exist without being shot. Darn. Facts are pesky. Especially when they refuse to work within your ignorant narrative.

Ken: “If you say “Black Lives Matter” instead of “All Lives Matter,” YOU’RE BEING RACIST!!!”

AB: Is it just me, or do these bigoted boobs appear to use the “I know you are, but what am I?” defense more than Pee Wee Herman ever did? What are you, guy who gets triggered at the merest mention that Whites aren’t being held in higher esteem than all of the other races? Easy answer. You’re a racist. I’m so glad that I could clear this up for you. And If all lives really do matter, then why aren’t you acting like they do? My saying that “We need to save the whales” doesn’t mean “Fuck all the other fish”. As painful as this is for your bigoted rationalizations, it just means that at the moment we’re trying to raise awareness that other races are burdened by, and barred from, many opportunities that you and I as White people, take for granted. That’s it.

Ken: “the real meaning of BLM Burn-Loot-Murder”


AB: Sigh… it’s amazing that this twunt hasn’t killed himself making toast yet, isn’t it? As noted earlier, BLM is not responsible for any of the social upheaval that occurs during protests. Especially when you factor in the available and credible evidence that many white supremacist groups as well as the police, were behind some of the damage and violence. For those of you in the backwoods, BLM is a decentralized movement advocating for NON-VIOLENT civil disobedience in protest against incidents of police brutality and all racially motivated violence against black people, and that’s it. They do not advocate for arson. They do not advocate for theft. And they certainly do not advocate for homicide.

BLM has no culpability in regards to those who use the protests as cover for their illegal activities, unlike the militia groups and police who arrive at these events armed to the teeth and looking for any excuse to inflict violence and then assign the blame for such to the peaceful protest movement they so gleefully attack. But since Ken brought up the topic of protest fueled violence, I’m almost hesitant to point out that despite his dedication to a racist ideal that that these necessary and constitutionally protected civil demonstrations centered on African-Americans are oft violent than not, it’s still completely bogus as recent data conducted by the US Crisis Monitor (a joint project between ACLED and the BDI at Princeton University) which goes and collates statistics on these movements as a means to deliver real-time analysis and resources to support efforts to chart, avert, and allay the risk of political violence in America.

Their *findings after studying over 10k of these demonstrations? Nearly 95% involve peaceful protesters, and fewer than 570, or approximately 5%, involve demonstrators engaging in violence. And considering Ken and his ilk are still complaining about professional sports teams by taking a knee, I think it’s fairly obvious their concerns were never about the limited violence, or even the random looting. It’s the fact that all kinds of people are speaking up, and aren’t allowing themselves to be intimidated into a silent corner any longer. So, feel free to get a grip, Ken. Preferably on something other than yourself for a change.

Ken: “I wonder if we all report the BLM FB page as hate speech will it be removed”

AB: No, it won’t. Because the people who have to review your asinine attempts at chilling truly free speech aren’t racist idiots like yourself. Thanks for coming to my Ted talk, and take a BLM brochure on the way out, so you can educate yourself. And by the way? I don’t know what punctuation did to you as a child, but a reconciliation is obviously long overdue.

Ken: “BLM, why are you not protesting against the violence cause by black on black crime?”

AB: Well, that’s an interesting deflection Kenny, along with your kindergarten-level spelling error. But I just have to ask this: why are you not protesting against the violence caused (this is how you spell the word) by white on white crime? You know, since the actual percentage of both is relatively the same to begin with in the first place? Don’t believe me? Well, here you go then. Released in 2017, a report by the U.S. Department of Justice found that between 2012 and 2015, 22.7% of violent crimes were committed by Black people, and of those, 63% were committed against their own race. Compare this to the fact that out of the 57% violent crimes against Whites were enacted by other Whites. The data collected shows that Whites commit crimes against their own race at about the same rate that Black people do theirs.

Yet despite these facts, you never hear debates from any media pundits regarding the “white-on-white” crime issue, and that’s a truly deliberate ploy, intended to disseminate the fable that interracial violence is rampant within the Black community only. When Whites commit a particularly violent crime within the sphere of the White demographic, race is never listed as a factor, unlike the media coverage when a crime of any type occurs within the Black community. The whole ethos of the “Black-on-Black crime” is a racist myth, preserved by followers of a bigoted ideology, who forward this detestable propaganda that Black people are intrinsically more violent, as a means to rationalize their intolerance of people who just want the equality they were granted under the Constitution.

“This is why I do not care at all about BLM! You cannot safely walk down the streets of our Nation’s capital without Thugs & Criminals threatening and assaulting innocent people. This has to stop and it will stop one way or another.”

AB: For the seventh time, Ken posts an anti-BLM meme to let us know that he “doesn’t care” about BLM. At all. Never, in fact. Not even a second or even a first, thought. This strikes me a s a whole of not caring, oddly enough. Methinks the alleged bigot doth protest too much, don’t you? I’m starting to wonder why he’s so obsessed with them, if he supposedly doesn’t give a damn to begin with. What really happened Ken? Did BLM dump you on the night of the Prom in front of all your friends or something? Also, maybe you should spend less time posting your pathetic bigotry and start working on your understanding of the different colors on this planet, and your acceptance of them as equals.

For your information, professional bootlick Rand Paul was surrounded by police after attending an ethically-challenged event which used the peoples house as a political prop, and whether you like it or not, being yelled at because you’re a complicit tool, is not assault. Just because you’d soil yourself if you were ever surrounded by an angry mob of African-Americans, does not mean that these people were as you put it, “Thugs & Criminals”. They are proud people who’ve had enough of excuses, rationalizations, and targeted abuse from a government that treats them as second-class citizens. And as for “stopping” people who have the Constitutional right to protest what they see as injustice? I’m sure you’ll be able to achieve that optimistic end goal from the command center you’ve established under your bed, as you hide from the scary African-Americans.

 Ken: “I do not recognize this America. We will fight to save the USA. Down with Antifa, Down with BLM, Down with the Rioters.”

AB: Well Kenny, this is the America you get when you support a lying, incompetent, traitorous, ethically compromised conman to be your President, so this is really all on you and your fellow indoctrinated brethren. Tasty pick, Bonehead. As for the rest of your… oh heck, let’s just call it what is, that being scared white man babbling, I just have to laugh at you even harder than I’ve previously been doing. There is nothing to “save”, because this is how America will get back on track. Will of the people, and all that. And I see your understating of Antifa is as deep as it is regarding BLM. Antifa is ideologically and aggressively opposed to all forms of fascism and the extreme right-wing dogma that has crippled our country as of late. While far more willing and able to throw punches than BLM, they still aren’t the ones directly responsible for the violent outbreaks that have been occurring at what should have been peaceful protests.

In essence, while they may not be the ones to start the fight, they sure as hell will be the ones who end it, and that’s what really scares you and your bumper-sticker quoting friends. The thought that these people are more than willing to fight back when faced with any threat of coercion. So, when you say you’re against Antifa, it’s also an admittance that you’re pretty much okay with Fascism, or in your case Ken, being pro-Trump. In reality, the rioters have as much to do with the protests as you have to do with the NAACP, so we’ll just move on, rather than beat a dead horse into dust. And as a side tangent, “I don’t recognize…” is pretty much widely regarded as overt racist code for “I liked it so much better when minorities weren’t allowed to be/do …”.

Ken: “It’s been 7 years since BLM was formed. They have raised over a billion dollars. They haven’t had 1 neighborhood cleanup, sent 1 poor black child to college, bought school supplies, feed the hungry or donated to a food bank or provided housing to 1 poor black family.  Where is the money going other than to buy huge charter buses to transport members to riots!”

AB: Hey boys and girls, do you remember what I said earlier about doing your research?  Good, because that dedication to due diligence, is gonna come in handy right about now. First, there is no public affirmation of how much money BLM has raised since 2013, due to the fact that BLM’s Global Network Foundation is monetarily subsidized by another nonprofit, known as Thousand Currents. This group has been responsible for the fiduciary oversight, financial management, and other administrative services for BLM since 2016, which is typical for a group that has not yet been approved for a tax-exempt 501(c)(3) status.

Due to this, BLM does not file its own public financial disclosures, but the audit documents that are available, shows that Thousand Currents released roughly $1.8 million to BLM for the fiscal year that ended in June 2019. The breakdown of such shows one-quarter of BLM’s overall disbursements in 2019 went to salaries, consulting fees, benefits, and payroll taxes. A lesser portion was spent on grants, and the remainder was then assigned to information technology, bank fees, insurance, legal fees, and office expenses. And according to Managing Director Kailee Scales; “Right now, our programs are focused on civic engagement, expansion of chapters, Arts & Culture, organizing and digital advocacy resources and tools,”

BLM is also responsible for a campaign called #WhatMatter2020, whose priorities are racial and economic injustice, safeguarding the rights of the LGBTQ community, ending voter suppression, and passing common-sense gun law, utilizing a groundswell of black voters to do so. This is by the way, all a matter of open public record, but why should our boy Ken do any work when he can just post a misleading meme instead of facts?

I do find it fairly interesting that the same guy who in a previous posting easily referred to African-Americans as “Thugs & Criminals”, is now posing as a champion for their cause. Quick question, Ken- have you ever done any of the stuff you demand that BLM do? Have you ever cleaned up a neighborhood that was populated mostly by minorities? Have you ontributed to an African-Americans child’s college fund? Or bought any much-needed school supplies for African-American children? When was the last time you fed the hungry, donated to a food bank serving any African-American based community, or underwritten the housing of a disadvantaged African-American family? Your arrogant criticism of BLM for not doing what you think they should be doing, causes your words to ring hollow when it’s fairly obvious you wouldn’t be caught dead under any conditions in a poor neighborhood where you’d be the only grain of salt in a pepper shaker.

And there are two more interesting points of order that Ken “forgot” to mention in his ever so self-righteous condemnation of BLM, oddly enough. The first being that all that was just described has never been the mission of BLM in the first place. To repeat my earlier declaration;BLM is a decentralized movement advocating for NON-VIOLENT civil disobedience in protest against incidents of police brutality and all racially motivated violence against black people”, and that’s it. End of discussion. They are not the Red Cross, or Food for the Hungry, nor are they the Salvation Army, and it’s clearly stated in their mission statement what they stand for, and what they do. But I’m sure Ken was going to share this key information with all of us when he was done congratulating himself for chiding an organization for not doing what he himself wouldn’t condescend to do, and what they never said they would do at all.

The best analogy that I could use here to illustrate my point, is that it’s as if you walked into a Baskin-Robbins, looked at the menu board, asked them to make a pizza, and when they refused because it’s not what they sell, logged onto Facebook to tell the world that not only did they refuse to serve you, they were also openly biased against Italian culture too. This hypocrisy aside, I’d like to address the photo of BLM’s buses, allegedly purchased solely for the act of transporting rioters and looters all across America in order to terrify white shrinking violets like Ken.

Unfortunately for our resident professor of African-American Cultural Studies, this claim is not only absurd, but also patently *false, on a number of levels. Because when one takes the time [in my case, 2.8 seconds] to investigate this assertion, they’ll find multiple sources debunking it. The buses that are shown in this photo are ones that carried The Toronto Raptors basketball team as they arrived at Walt Disney World in Orlando on July 9th of this year.
*[ https://www.politifact.com/factchecks/2020/jul/29/viral-image/these-buses-are-toronto-raptors-not-blm/]

The team were responsible for this image, which they posted on their Twitter account with the statement “Silence is not an option.” And the truly embarrassing part for the racist brigade who gleefully shared their shining example of pure ignorance over actual reality? The buses are displaying the easily identifiable Raptors logo on them, but all these morons saw was “Black Lives Matter” on the side, and pounced on it like it was their slowest sister. Yep. You bad boys are definitely “owning” something, alright. Shame that it only seems to be yourselves… again.

Now, if you’re on the fence wondering whether or not if Ken may be somewhat bigoted, relax. Because it’s about to get a whole lot worse as I prove to myself and maybe even you, that he is. Sure, BLM is his steady friend-with-no-benefits-at-all, but there’s plenty of side-action, nonetheless. For instance, he’s also got kind of a thing for denigrating successful and prominent African-American women as well. How manly. Nothing says “I’m an Alpha”, like picking on women, am I right?

And the target of his scorn, is none other than former First Lady Michelle Obama, who, despite being out of the White House for close to four years, may as well be sitting and drinking tea in the Rose Garden, as far as Ken is concerned. Now, I won’t get into the whole Michelle versus Melania debate, mainly because the whore who is currently posing as the First Lady is a gold-digging, nude photo posing, former mistress who sounds like Natasha Fatale from The Bullwinkle Show, and can’t hold a candle to the graceful and totally classy mama that is Michelle, but I digress.

In Ken’s eyes however, it seems that a highly educated, stunningly pretty, and utterly fearless African-American woman is just as terrifying to him as walking down a dark street and seeing a Black guy wearing a hoodie and carrying a pack of Skittles. Once again, we go to the memes and the words that showcase what happens when you take an incels anger, and mix it with asinine racist paranoia.

Wow. I guess it wasn’t BLM that dumped him the night of the prom after all, it was this badass babe, and the humiliation still burns bright. I love how she still vexes him, despite holding no official office, and I find it even funnier that he tries to deride the woman who raised the bar for all First Ladies to come, which coincidentally, is also the same one that Melania had reinstalled vertically, so she could pole-dance with it.

Ken: “She nailed it! Maybe it is because of how she treats white people.”

AB: The comment is particularly idiotic even for Ken, because I as a White person, never felt mistreated by this woman, but I’m sure his loathing has nothing to do with her race or gender, because as we’ve just seen, he’s definitely a stable person driven solely by issues. It’s just a shame though, that so many of those issues qualify for some type of therapy and medication.

What this really boils down to is that he’s pissed she’s smart, capable, and unlike Skanklania, able to handle her business. And as for the ludicrousness of how “she treats whites”? These are some of the comments she had to endure while serving as the First Lady from racist idiots who not unlike Ken, had no ammo to work with, so they just threw scheisse instead, hoping it would stick. To quote some of the dimmest stars on the American flag:

Alex Jones: “I have nothing against trannies, but we have famous photos of her which appear to show she has a large bulge in her pants. Joan Rivers said M.s Obama was transgender and died. She had dinner with the Obamas and she was all for it, saying it was great that Obama’s gay and has a tranny wife.”

Rush Limbaugh: “The NASCAR crowd doesn’t quite understand why, when the husband and the wife are going the same place, the first lady has to take her own Boeing 757 with family and kids and hangers-on four hours earlier than her husband, who will be on his 747. NASCAR people understand that’s a little bit of a waste. They understand it is a little bit of uppity-ism.”

Pamela Ramsey Taylor: “It will be so refreshing to have a classy, beautiful, dignified First Lady back in the White House, I’m tired of seeing a Ape in heels.” (In a sweetly hilarious twist of Karma, Taylor was later sentenced to 10 months in prison for embezzlement)

Mayor Patrick Rushing: “Gorilla face Michelle, can’t disagree with that, the woman is not attractive except to monkey man Barack.”

Now, some people might think these criticisms might be openly racist and ignorant as f**k, but let’s remember why she deserved all this flack- she did dare suggest that American children should (GASP!!) be physically active and eat right. Not to mention, the sheer audacity she showed by occasionally wearing shorts and sleeveless dresses in public more than once. I’m clutching my pearls as I type, because I can’t believe how lucky we all were to have survived this amazingly hate-filled bitch.


AB: Only in America, could you have a total unweaving of the social fabric due to incompetent leadership, and still have fans of the same blame the candidate who hasn’t even been elected yet. That literally is the pitch of the GOP: “Sure, everything is on fire right now, but only we, the arsonists who soak everything we get our hands on with gasoline, can be trusted to put it out.” Do I really need to point out that all the footage pushed by right-wing media in regards to “what will happen in Biden’s America”, was literally filmed in Trump’s current America?

Jesus Ken… if I had to assess your grip on how life works, I’d be forced to use a quote from Doctor Who to adequately express my feelings: You know, you are a classic example of the inverse ratio between the size of the mouth and the size of the brain.” The only “threat’ here is the fact that somehow despite your obvious and limited intellect, society allows you to drive, breed, handle sharp objects, and terrifyingly, vote.

 Ken: “The Democrats are just Trump Haters, without any plan. Biden has no platform, no vision, no nothing for America. This is why the Republicans took over in 2016. Do we really want to return to a do nothing, corrupt government? TRUMP2020, TRUMP2020, TRUMP2020”

AB: If this ain’t the Pot calling the Kettle Black… and yes, pun definitely intended. For those of you who’ve been paying attention, here’s a *link to the direct statement from the GOP, and an **article regarding it, which in essence, says that rather than present a array of innovative policy goals should Trump be re-elected, the party would instead “continue to enthusiastically support the President’s America-first agenda.” You know, the ideas he regurgitated originally from FOX, but now takes from QAnon, while he’s scouring TV and Twitter for hours to see who’s talking nice (or not so nice) about him?

Just to redcap his success so far; no new border wall that was paid for by Mexico, no lowered prescription drug prices, no national healthcare plan, no North Korean peace deal, a quadrupled national deficit, loss of face on the World stage, allies shunning us, our enemies emboldened, Russia openly placed bounties on our soldiers heads with no consequences, and oh yes… a failing economy, and rising death and infection rates from a Pandemic he so badly mangled and mismanaged, that Watergate now looks like a brilliant idea by comparison.

And as to his claim that the Dems have no platform? Well, I don’t know who Ken’s internet provider is, but it obviously doesn’t include Google as part of its Conservative Numbskull Plan, because here it is straight off the *DNC website in all-caps, so Ken can easily read it, even if he won’t understand it:


I don’t know about you, but this seems like a far more definitive and workable platform then one that demands the licking of Dickless Donnie’s golf shoes. When he’s not storing them in his mouth, that is.

However, the best self-own on a rapidly compiling list, is Ken’s slur of a do nothing, corrupt government”, especially given the track record of Trump’s numerous and spectacular failures to deliver on even the most basic of his promises, along with many instances of barefaced corruption and gridlock occurring on his watch, and within his administration. If I felt the need to address these issues in such a way to remove Ken’s welded-on blinders, I’d point out that no less than 14 Trump aides, donors, and advisors being either imprisoned or indicted for a variety of offenses, such as: bank and tax fraud, lying to Congress, grave campaign finance violations, conspiracy, obstruction of justice, and witness tampering.

Ken, for all of his blathering bluster, somehow forgot to mention that his Mango Man-crush also managed to secure himself two history-making counts of impeachment permanently hanging around his fat neck as well. An accidental oversight, I’m sure. Nevertheless, it can’t be all bad when compared to Obama’s Reign of Terror, now could it? 

Well…. I hate to break it to Kenny, but it’s not even remotely close. The reason why? Mainly, unlike Trump, most of Obama’s “scandals” fall under either the purview of controversy, such as issues with the interpretation of constitutionality, to sheer lunacy- his wearing a tan suit and daring to eat, and I swear this was a real talking point on FOX at one time, a hamburger with Djon mustard. That sort of thing.

But Trump? Where to start, is the one question that should be asked, more as a course of action, rather than whether he has any scandals to mention. According to a  recent (up to August 31st, 2020, that is) *article on the website mcsweeney’s.net, there have been no less than 889 controversial incidents, comments, alleged and proven scandals, and assertions of impropriety, separated into the following categories: Sexual Misconduct, Harassment & Bullying, White Supremacy, Racism, Homophobia, Transphobia, and   Xenophobia.

Entered evidence includes his public statements & Tweets, discussion of his collusion with Russia & his numerous incidents of obstructing Justice, along with notations regarding the ethics of his family and associated business dealings within his administration. And this doesn’t even begin to cover his recent disrespect regarding our honored war dead and injured veterans, his siphoning of (-11 first Responder funds, or his admission to Bob Woodward and caught on tape no less, that he lied about the danger of COVID-19. I’m thinking it’s not looking good for Ken’s POV here, but does it ever?

Nevertheless, Ken’s little bumper sticker slogan rant chant at the end of his egg-on-face posting does raise one question for me though, so I just have to ask you, Ken- when you repeat Trump’s name three times, does Ivanka show up wearing the Leia slave girl outfit? If so, I’m pretty sure her daddy is going to be so mad that you’re playing hide-the-Jabba with his favorite piece of side-action.

Ken: “Beauty & the Beast”

AB: Oh, Ken. You adorably misogynistic man-child, you. I can only wonder how far your Vienna mini-sausage goes up to hide when a strong, smart, classy, highly articulate woman walks anywhere near you. I’m guessing it’s somewhere behind your eyeballs, which would explain why you think a fifth-rate former Slovenian model, who somehow scored an *EB-1 visa with no definable abilities or talent other than gold-digging adultery, has any right to be lauded as our First Lady.
*[Also known as an “Einstein Visa” more info to come.]

Granted, she’s technically the First Lady of the Evening we’ve ever had, but I’ll swing back to this in a bit. As is usual with any of Ken’s comparisons, he hasn’t done his research yet again, which isn’t really all that shocking at this point considering all the time he spends finding ways to embarrass himself online. But he has attempted to make some sort of point, and even though as usual he’s cherry-picked it to fit, his comparison, like his intellect falls far and away from his intended goal. Need proof, you say?

Ok then, let’s compare their personal & professional accomplishments, as a means to establish who’s a role model for girls and women of all ages, and who’s the kind of woman you wouldn’t sexually entertain while drunkenly using someone else’s spawn-hammer.

Michelle LaVaughn Robinson Obama: the only First Lady in American history to hold two Ivy League degrees, noted graduate of both Princeton University and Harvard Law School, former Assistant to the Mayor of Chicago, former Assistant Commissioner of Planning and Development. former Executive Director for the Chicago office of Public Allies, former Associate Dean of Student Services at the University of Chicago, former Vice President for Community and External Affairs of the University of Chicago Medical Center, served as a salaried board member of TreeHouse Foods Inc, served on the board of directors of the Chicago Council on Global Affairs, and served as First Lady of the United States from 2009-2017, and is the first African-American to do so.

She is also responsible for establishing the Task Force on Childhood Obesity resulting in her “Let’s Move!” initiative in 2010, in 2011,she teamed up with Jill Biden, former Vice President Joe Biden’s wife, to lead Joining Forces, a nationwide initiative asking all Americans to support veterans and their families by tackling common issues such as unemployment and homelessness.

In 2015, she was a co-founder of Let Girls Learn, a U.S. government initiative committed to helping young girls receive the education they deserve worldwide. She is also a mother of two, and a celebrated author, who has written five books: Becoming, American Grown: The Story of the White House Kitchen Garden and Gardens Across America, Farewell Speeches, Becoming: A Guided Journal for Discovering Your Voice, Believe in the Possibility: The Words of Michelle Obama.

On the surface, this might present as notable to some, but it’s not nearly as inspiring as our current reincarnation of Jackie-O is, according to many on the conservative side of the fence. So, what’s her story? Here’s what I know, courtesy of some dogged research, for when it comes to anything of depth regarding Melanoma, much like her public image, it’s all smoke and mirrors, a circumstance that seems to be quite deliberate.

Melanija Trump: changed the spelling of her name from Melanija Knavs to Melania Knauss after starting her modeling career in 1992 Yugoslavia after she won second place in the “The Face of the Year” contest. She is also the second first lady in American history that was born outside of the United States, that being the country of Slovenia. Supposedly, she speaks six languages: Slovenian, French, Serbian, German, Italian and English, although this claim has been in question due to a series of public inconsistencies.

In May 2017, when Pope Francis granted an audience to the Trumps in Rome, video surfaced that showed the Pontiff making a joke in Italian to the First Lady, who appeared to not understand the context of what was directed at her until a translator repeated it in English. This contradiction has been noted more than once by several multi-linguists who’ve found it somewhat odd that if she does possess such impressive fluency in multiple tongues, why she doesn’t validate her theoretical skillset to the disbelieving world at large, thereby ending the speculative snark once and for all, which she has yet to do.

In her own words, she stated; “I attended and graduated from design school, from Fashion and Industrial Design School and also attended, graduated from architecture degree, bachelor degree.” Sadly, she did not, a fact which was exposed in a 2013 lawsuit deposition. Various media reports found that while Melania gained entry to the University of Ljubljana in Slovenia, she dropped out in her first year. The revamped spin now being that she “paused her studies to advance her modeling career in Milan and Paris.”

A “career” by the way, that has also been called into question, and with good reason.

How so, you ask? Well, her hubby bragged back in 2016, that his former 2nd mistress and baby mama number three, “was one of the most successful supermodels, and she did many photo shoots, including covers and major magazines.” But you know me, I like to know everything about everything, and after the possible disingenuousness regarding her linguistic ability and higher education, I became really curious as to the claims her Orange Romeo made about her successful career history. Some free advice for the future tells-all book author and social divorcee?

If you want people to believe something credible about your past, you probably shouldn’t enlist one of the world’s biggest liars to be your publicist. I hate to break this to you, my loyal readers, but it seems that this take on her pre-Donny career might not be entirely truthful. I know. I was thrown for a loop too, given her almost flawless track record of transparent honesty. It all starts in 1998, when journalist Dusan Nograsek and four other reporters received a call from a modeling agency, inviting them to meet a fellow Slovenian who was allegedly enjoying great personal success within the fast-paced world of high-end modeling.

With all of their expenses paid, the correspondents traveled on a private plane from Slovenia’s capital city of Ljubljana, to the city of Paris, and were booked into the Hotel Lutetia, an iconic Art Deco landmark luxury Palace hotel, sited in the lively Saint-Germain-des-Prés area of Paris, on the city’s Left Bank.

After quite some time, the model they were asked to meet arrived, and was introduced as Melania Knauss. She asked that no photos be taken, but did state that she was one of the top 50 models in the world, which came as somewhat of a surprise to Nograsek, for in his recalling of the event, “Nobody knew who she was. They told us her name, we wrote it down,”

Further doubt was cast upon her story by the well-known Slovenian photographer Stane Jerko, who had actually “discovered” Melania a decade earlier at the age of seventeen, and who would go on to tell Univision Investiga that “It’s not real. She had been working as a model only a short time, and couldn’t be in the top 50”, implying that she was exaggerating, as she was still relatively an unknown at this time. “Her exterior was very good to be an excellent model, but she lacked energy, a certain charm that if you have, you transmit it through your eyes, through your personality. If you have something that, shall we say, comes from the heart, it shows in the photo.“  

In an attempt to try and lend credence to her avowal, the journalists were given the Spanish edition cover of Harper’s Bazaar from August of 1997, in which she appeared semi-topless. To note, there was no inner interview with Melania, but only a caption that read: “At the height of summer, Melania, photographed by Manfred Gestrich,’‘ Furthermore, the cover which was shot in Mexico, was bespoke for U.S. Hispanics alone, as she was not on the English edition cover at all.

Strangely, even though Melania was dating Donald Trump, who at the time, was still in the process of divorcing his second wife and ex-mistress, Marla Maples, this was never mentioned once to the assembled press corps, which to this day, still strikes strange to Nograsek: “She said goodbye after dinner and we went to do the tour around Paris. Later that night we went to the airport for the turbulent flight home, all wondering what the whole thing was about,” Since the time of this odd gathering, Nograsek has opined that the trappings of the trip, such as the extravagant hotel, the tour of Paris and the private jet, were part of a plan overseen by Trump himself.

Because when one looks at her modeling career with a cynical eye, there’s not much there to brag about in the way of any major awards or high-end bookings od note. While she has worked as a European runway model, and garnered some exposure in various magazines within the United Kingdom and the US, the most high-profile being an appearance in the swimsuit edition of Sports Illustrated and the cover and interior of British GQ, where she posed nude inside one of Trump’s private jets. Despite this ever so impressive resume, she has never been considered to be one of the 50 or for that matter, even within the top 100, of the world’s best-known international models. And yet somehow, she still qualified for an “Einstein” visa in 2001.

What exactly, pray tell, did she bring to the table to get one of the five that were granted to persons from Slovenia that year, other than dating someone who was/is fraudulently rich? The EB-1 visa is allegedly reserved for immigrants with extraordinary ability if not a sustained sense of national and international acclamation, and is in concept at least, earmarked for people who are much-admired in their chosen field.

Examples have included feted athletes, cultural icons, academics, and even some multinational executives. In other words, the famous, the rich, the influential, the connected, to be certain. But a college dropout with a sparse modeling resume and an affinity for posing nude in jets is deemed essential to the betterment of this country? Sure, Jan. I’ll buy that for a dollar, which I’m fairly confident is what her entire re-spun backstory is worth.

Factor in that despite that her husband has taken a hypocritical stance in regards to what his fan base refers to as “anchor babies” and chain migration, he had no apparent issue with either when it concerned the birth of his son & forgotten prop Barron in 2006, and the naturalization of his in-laws in 2018. Weird, that. And I’ll also overlook the fact that Melania’s Dad is about the same age as her husband too, since it’s vomit-inducing

Call me old-fashioned, but banging a married man and posing for some strip club quality escort service photos hardly qualifies in my book as anything worth bragging about, especially for someone who’s supposed to represent us as an icon of morality and grace, a responsibility which she, like her husband, seems unable to fulfill.

But let’s not dwell on the negative in regards to her personal life, let’s look at what she’s done thus far as First Lady, shall we? Well, this is strange… other than a few state dinners, some disastrously received Holiday decorating and White House redesign choices, and a  cringe-inducing speech and wardrobe choice at this year’s pants-on-fire lie-fest known as the RNC, her collective resume as First lady is almost as thin as her modeling one.

Oh wait, I may have apparently spoken too soon, for she did in fact, launch a highly-promoted public awareness campaign in 2018, which advocated against cyberbullying and drug use among youth, known by its grammatically challenged moniker, “Be Best”. Embarrassingly, this led to an accusation of paganization, as the campaign booklet that was publicized as having been written “By First Lady Melania Trump and the FTC”, was nearly identical to an earlier document prepared by the FTC in 2014.

This bookended a previous allegation in 2016 that she plagiarized parts of a 2008 speech given by the former First Lady, Michelle Obama, which was discovered after a series of curious similarities between the two speeches was noted. In the end however, a Trump staff member by the name of Meredith McIver, who was allegedly responsible for writing Melania’s speech, took the fall after admitting that she had “borrowed’ elements of Mrs. Obama’s earlier speech.

The effectiveness of the “Be Best” campaign can be measured by her husband’s continuing behavior online and during his increasingly unhinged, if not petulant, press rants/rallies, where he displays a thought process that one could only charitably describe as Adderall-fueled at best. Way to go, Melania! After all, it’s one thing to fall short of the standard, but to fail to even chart at all? Talk about carving out a niche that’s truly all yours. When you compare her accomplishments to Michelle’s, they’re so similar that they could possibly pass for twins, couldn’t they?

But let’s give credit where it’s due- after all, hers is the classic American immigrant success story. Come to the land where the streets are paved with gold, overstay your visa, work illegally, find a billionaire sugar-daddy, produce an anchor baby, use your hubby’s corrupt influence to secure an Einstein visa you didn’t earn or deserve, bring your parents over using an immigration loophole your husband claims to disapprove of, and wind up with free government housing and healthcare. American exceptionalism at its finest.

And Ken? This is what Class looks like.

But this?

Just Ass. And not a particularly fetching one, at that.

However, there is one last pathetic comment of Ken’s to address so that I can close off this particular half of what will be his two-part story, and it may be the most unaware example of tone-deafness he’s presented thus far. And as you guessed, he’s still carrying a tiki-torch for Michelle. But on the upside, at least he’s not using it to light up her front lawn… yet.

Ken: “Michelle Obama. You are so full of shit. Like you can even come close to relating to what the average person is going through. You are clueless. And furthermore, the majority of people could care less about your podcast. Why don’t you go get a real job.”

AB: Normally, this would be the part where I might mention at length that Michelle has been on the “Most Admired” Gallup Poll list since 2012, finally taking the title of “Most Admired Woman” in 2018, but why bother? You’re immune to facts very much in the same way that Trump is to marital fidelity. And just because yougov.com ranked her as having a 58% favorable rating among Americans due to her intelligence, genuineness, respectfulness, and her willingness to stand for the common person, that doesn’t mean that I need to point out that Melania comes in 18 points lower, now do I?

Of course not. For as you pointed out Ken, with all the linguistical and intellectual charm of a piranha giving a skin-flute lesson, it’s about her innate ability to be able to relate to us, the common man and/or woman. Now, I won’t continue to embarrass your limited and tortured intellect with any further research, I’ll just use the one form of communication that I know you’ll understand… PICTURES!!!

That’s not because I think that visuals are the only things that can make an impression on your amygdala [the part of the brain where researchers think racial prejudice is formed] it’s just that the eloquence of hand-puppets is hard to convey via the written word, and most of the memes I’d normally use to educate persons of your ilk, are far above your reading level. So, without any further ado, let’s look at Ken’s implied choice as to what woman, along with her whore-mongering husband/business partner, shows that she really knows how to relate to the average person.

Maybe it’s the Liberace’s bordello merged with King Tutankhamun’s bathroom decorating vibe, or even possibly the fact that their piano portrait looks as if it’s the second before Trump starts handing out Melania’s hourly rate sheet, but everything about it just screams “Sure I may hover over a gilded toilet, but I totally shop the discount rack at Walmart whenever possible.” doesn’t it?

The only thing these odious oligarchs have ever shared remotely in common with the average American is that both of their lifestyles are subsidized by that person’s underpaid labor. Look Ken, I get it, I really do. You finally found a role model who hates the same people you do, has the same disdain for facts that you happily embrace, and proudly says the things you’d like to be able to say without suffering consequence to minorities, women, veterans, the poor, and anybody who graduated from college based on their merit, and not the charity of their gym coach, but I just have to ask this question regardless… out of all the role models you could have chosen from, this was your best option?

Sure, you thought Trump was truly “Dope” when you first saw him screeching on your TV, but worse than the revelation of of his being an ACTUAL dope, is the knowledge that at best, he’s no more than a bag of overly-tanned baking soda that you at best, purchased at twice the fair market price.

But I could be wrong. Maybe it’s yet another example of something ever-so-shiny being placed in front of you, and it proved so distracting that you forgot to do any research regarding your deeply held “beliefs”. AGAIN. Nah. I’m sure it can’t be as simple as you present to be, now could it?

Whew. I think now is a perfect time to take a very well-deserved break, but the fun never really ends. So, when I come back, after grabbing a sandwich and a shot of Bourbon to help make way for the newest batch of Ken’s inanity, In my next installment chronicling his interesting takes on life, I’ll be tackling some truly unique opinions of his that he claims to have regarding a wide range of topics, such as: how the free social media platform that he uses to complain about the same said social media platform has “no right” to fact-check him or dare set rules over its own lands, how he regards the Pandemic as overblown, the horror of allowing people to engage in voting long-established and secure methods, police brutality, and not too surprisingly, even more bigoted notes about African-Americans.

And if we’re lucky, there may even be a discussion on how White suburbanites can believe in Bigfoot, see Jesus’s face in burnt toast, the Lochness Monster, UFO’s and aliens from outer space, angels, demons, and Nickelback’s musical talent, but will also still assert that the concept of White privilege is a myth.

A myth, I tell you! Which, not so ironically, is how Ken’s understanding of what America truly is and what it represents, should be regarded as.

 “Racism does not have a good track record. It’s been tried out for a long time and you’d think by now we’d want to put an end to it instead of putting it under new management.”- Thomas Sowell