Wayne Michael Reich

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The Art of Gerry-slandering. Pt.4 (The Last Tale of a Village-seeking Idiot)

“Information is all around us, now more than ever before in human history. You barely have to stir or incommode yourself to find things out. The only reason people do not know much is because they do not care to know. They are incurious. Incuriosity is the oddest and most foolish failing there is.”

– Stephen Fry, The Fry Chronicles

Salutations, Bitchiteers!

Before I begin this, the newest of my screeds, a necessary definition first: “Politics: the art or science of government.” Now, for most of us whose brains work the way that Nature intended them to, this in and of itself, is not a hard concept to grasp, even if the subtle nuances associated with it, may sometimes elude us.

Case in point, this fine example of paranoically unhinged idiocy, courtesy of one of the more disturbed MAGAts that I’ve had the unsettling displeasure of coming across in recent years, the uniquely opinionated, if not needing to be forcibly future medicated, Debbie Nowicki Harshbarger of Pocono Summit, PA:

She seems… what’s the classification that’s 180 degrees due South of “sane”?

Oh, that’s right- she sounds as rational as they type of person who not only proudly beasts about owning Nickelback’s musical catalogue entire, but the Director’s “Renegade” cut of “Highlander 2: The Quickening”, as well. I’ve referenced Debbie in other screeds, but as time goes on, I’ve come to release with no small amount of joy, that her gift for proving herself to be an absolute fucking marron regardless of topic involved, is seemingly inexhaustible.

So Debbie, “Satan”, a mythical construct & scapegoat of ultimate convenience, is a true-blue Democrat, you say? Well, let’s take a look at the political stats underpinning your comparison, and just to make it interestingly accurate, we’ll use “God’s” own words [another myth of convenience] regarding some current social concerns and I’ll do so straight from the book that you so obviously use far more as your go-to beer coaster, rather than as your spiritual guide.

And in order to draw the parallels twixt the two, I’ll place “God’s” words right next to the ones openly and publicly uttered by the leadership of the GQP. And don’t worry Debbie, for as your party is all about following the Word unquestionably, I’m sure their responses to the situations I will present, will be indistinguishable from those commanded by “Him”. In fact, I’m almost 100% certain of it. How about you?

Oh… really? Well, let’s just roll the dice and see what happens, anyway.


God: “For there will never cease to be poor in the land. Therefore I command you, “You shall open wide your hand to your brother, to the needy and to the poor, in your land.”- Deuteronomy 15:11

GQP: “I think not having the estate tax recognizes the people that are investing as opposed to those that are just spending every darn penny they have, whether it’s on booze or women or movies,” – Sen Chuck Grassley, whose personal net worth is 15M, and who not only receives a monthly income of 70K, but the additional perks of free healthcare, reimbursement of his personal travel, and the comfort of a federal pension to count on when he retires, as well.


God: “And if a stranger sojourn with thee in your land, ye shall not vex him. But the stranger that dwelleth with you shall be unto you as one born among you, and thou shalt love him as thyself; for ye were strangers in the land of Egypt: I am the Lord your God.” -Leviticus 19:33-34

GQP: “I would ask you to go back through history and figure out where are these contributions that have been made by these other categories of people that you are talking about, where did any other subgroup of people contribute more to civilization? “- Iowa Rep. Steve King

King’s comment is so asinine in o both its scope and its ignorance, that it only serves to certify yet again, as to just why when you played “astronaut” as a kid, your mom made certain that the bread-bag space helmet she made for you had multiple air-holes poked in it first.


God: Not ONE fucking word. At all. You know why? Because despite being a myth, he’s an icon of acceptance.

GQP: “For the good of society, transgenderism must be eradicated from public life entirely — the whole preposterous ideology, at every level.” – Daily Wire host, Michael Knowles

Yup… “eradicated”. He said that, and then stood behind it. But it’s not like he called for an allegorical genocide of Transfolk, or anything along those lines, because according to Knowles, and I quote directly; “Nobody is calling to exterminate anybody, because the other problem with that statement is that transgender people is not a real ontological category- it’s not a legitimate category of being,”

Oh well that clears that vile remark up completely, does it not? Even if Knowle’s anti-Trans rhetoric echoes Hitler’s rationalization of the Holocaust, wherein he opined that the Jews as being a “race-tuberculosis of the peoples”, I’m sure that no one out there within the lands of the radicalized MAGA collective, would interpret these inflammatory remarks as being a call for action, whatsoever.

Because… um… reasons, and stuff.

(Ok, I do know that guns weren’t a thing back in Gid’s supposed day, but he did (allegedly) say a thing or two about the act of violence, so that will be our frame of reference for the following commentary..)

God: “Violence shall no more be heard in thy land, wasting nor destruction within thy borders; but thou shalt call thy walls Salvation, and thy gates Praise.” – Isaiah 60:18

GQP: “If you want to legislate evil, it’s just not going to happen. We need a real revival in this country. Let’s call on our Christian ministers and our people of faith. If you think Washington is going to fix this problem, you’re wrong. They’re not going to fix this problem. They are the problem.” -Tennessee Rep. Tim Burchett

I’d point out that 99% of what Burchett said above is demonstrability false, and the statistics prove it. Gun control DOES work, and as an elected legislator, Burchett is well aware of this reality. But he did get one thing right: Washington, where he works supposedly on the behalf of the American people, won’t fix the issue. After all, those “donations” [AKA: legalized bribes] from both the gun lobby as well as the NRA, won’t keep pouring in half as well as they so freely do now, unless he sees to that.

And despite his reluctance to stop or at the very least, curb school shootings, Burchett does care about your kid’s safety just as much as he cares for the safety of his own daughter. That’s why she’s classified as a home-schooled student, and your kid is still considered an acceptable cost of doing business.

But in the end, the only thing that truly counts when aligning the Conservative movement with the purity of God’s decrees, are the inherent principles such a position of strength would most certainly demand. So, how does the GQP fare in regards to achieving that, you ask? Once again, we go to the Good Book.


God: “Owe no man any thing, but to love one another: for he that loveth another hath fulfilled the law. For this, Thou shalt not commit adultery, Thou shalt not kill, Thou shalt not steal, Thou shalt not bear false witness, Thou shalt not covet; and if there be any other commandment, it is briefly comprehended in this saying, namely, Thou shalt love thy neighbour as thyself.” – Romans 13:8-9

GQP: “Trump’s indictment is the culmination of 6 years of the Democrats weaponizing law enforcement to target and persecute their political enemies. Dictatorships operate like this – the US is supposed to be different,” – Senator Ted Cruz

This disingenuous statement, delivered by the same cringingly spineless cur that let Trump brazenly slur his father and the mother of his children, is pure GQP gold. So, the veracity of his cozying up to dictators, bragging about sexually assaulting women, using the power of the WH to enrich both himself and his family, all while issuing threats based in misogyny, racism, egotism, incompetence, and fascism, are 100% cool, but let’s make sure not to hold him accountable for it, because of… um… undeserved prosecution?

Geez Ted. How do you manage to swallow that much mango-tinted dick, and yet still talk?

Damn, if this doesn’t paint the GQP as the party of the splendidly virtuous, I have no idea what possibly could do so. And that’s without my even mentioning just how many of its members in just the last three alone, have gone down for their participation in not only the events of J6, but the multiple acts of sex trafficking, child-porn distribution, adultery, political corruption, sexual harassment, pedophilia, as well as the ever-continuing threats of ideologically-inspired partisan violence to boot,

Now for the record, I am not a Christian. But then again, given the behavioral evidence above, neither are the majority of its so-called adherents to the Faith, either. And while I may not be one of this allegorical flock myself, I can read at least, and it seems to me that after my perusing of the tome that is supposedly the principled primer for being a “good” person, Jesus was by all accounts, the most woke person ever.

I mean… the man / Messiah / myth LITERALLY rose from the evermore of his eternal slumber to continue doing both good works and inspire others, which is far more in line with current Liberal ideology, than that of the treason-supporting, corruption and adultery ignoring, child-abusing, hate-and-fear-mongering, insipidly hypocritical modern-day Conservative movement. But yes, Debbie…”Satan” is definitely a Democrat.

But whereas the compendium of Bronze-Age fairy-tales fails, reality, or at least Harshbarger’s wholly batshit and erroneously paranoid interpretation of it, prevails nevertheless:

Well, that’s quite the boatload of serious accusations that the ol’ Debster has assembled there using only the ever-screaming voices in her head, but even still, and in all fairness, we should probably address it post haste. To note Debbie, the Democrats are not a “Hate Group”, unless of course you consider being vehemently displeased with systematic racism, misogyny, social inequality, and LGBTQ-phobic behaviors as an ethical lapse, which when given your inane ideology, you most certainly do.

But let’s dissect this Trumpanzee tripe anyway, if only for our own sense of fun. So, the Democratic party “attracts” in your own nonsensical words, the following undesirable elements:

Poor people who hate Rich people: Strange that being forced to pay the voluminous tax void left behind by the ultra-rich 1%, while not being able to afford the most basic of necessities, would make a financially-strapped demographic somewhat bitter, huh? But hey GQP, just keep pitching those tax breaks for everyone save the people that actually need it. I’m sure that will smooth the situation over in no time.

Black people who hate White people: Now, why would African-Americans have any sort of issue with Whites, I wonder? I mean, besides the systemic racism inherent to successfully providing equitable justice, financial, voting, representational, educational, and career opportunities that is, but other than that, I can’t think of a single thing in verified American History, that would denote us as being the bad guys.

And rest assured, if there is something to be found, I’m sure its soundtrack just had to be written by Nickelback, because that’s only reason I can think of for justifying the hate of my fellow Vanillarians.

Gay people who hate straight people: Gee Debbie, do you think that the reason for this just might be the influx of “Don’t say Gay” legislation, the vehemence of the anti-Gay marriage movement, the anti-Drag Queen legislation, the banning of Gay-themed books from schools and libraries, or the slanderous and unfounded slurs depicting the LGBTQ Community at large, as being nothing less than predatory pedophiles and sexual deviants?  Nah, that couldn’t be it, could it?

Nope. It must have something to do with the music of Nickelback, yet again.

Feminists who hate Men: Now, why would Women have any sort of issue with Men, I wonder? I mean, besides the systemic misogyny regarding their attire, equitable career compensation, individual decision to have (or not have) children, or in how society dismissively treats the traumatized victims of sexual assault and harassment enacted upon them by same said men, that is?

But then again, I’m confident that a political party that deliberately stripped these unjustifiably angry women of their personal body autonomy while leaving the sanctity of Men’s untouched, and who’ve openly espoused wanting to reelect a self-admitted sexual predator back into the White House, are all about protecting women’s rights, when all is said and tabulated.

Environmentalists who hate the internal combustion engine: Even by the already unfathomable depths of GQP density, this is truly stupider than fuck. Weird that on the ONLY INHABITABLE PLANET THAT WE HAVE AT OUR DISPOSAL, there could exist a group of people who might think that not destroying it for the sake of personal convenience or short-term profit, might be an idea worth exploring for the long-term.

I get it Debbie. You as usual, need boogeymen to obsess over, and it’s clearly obvious. But people fighting to keep your air breathable and your water drinkable, were your first go-to pick? Normally, I’d wait for the randomness of you, a plugged-in toaster, and a running bathtub to solve the issue of your latent ignorance for me, but in this case, I have a far quicker solution that will benefit us both.

Simply go into your garage, seal the door with Flex-Tape, turn on your car to full blast, and deeply breathe in the intellect-enhancing fumes it emanates, until you’ve either successfully owned the Libs, or have overcome the primarily pesky hurdle to becoming one of Satan’s brides.

Man, I truly have no idea what Debbie’s particular mental deficiency is, but I’d lay dollars to doughnuts that it’s probably very hard to pronounce. But on the upside, one day it’s going to keep a team of court-ordered psychiatrists gainfully employed got quite some time. Moving on…

A lot of bratty college kids that hate their parents: Um, Debbie? All kids hate their parents when they’re in college. All of them. Throughout the history of Time itself. I do love however, that you vow the college-educated as a threat, when it’s taken into consideration that you’re too goddamn stupid to open the doors granting you access into the lobby of one.

Honestly Debbie, when I first saw your density slithering across my social media feeds, I was hoping for a battle of wits, but in all due fairness you appear to be unarmed, and as I pride myself on knowing that I can’t metaphorically kick someone who is as intellectually sharp as a marble and still feel good about myself in the morning, I’ll just let the inanity of this asinine comment slide on by for a change.

Nevertheless, the true gem to be discovered within Harshbarger’s rant is the assertion that it’s the “Media” that convinces people to vote for Democrats, rather than the policies of such, which unlike the GQP’s current and future offerings, aren’t based in the mongering of hate and fear. Weird that when you offer people a clear choice between enlightened acceptance versus enlightened acceptance, they tend to lean towards the latter, huh?

But you are right about one thing- our journalists do try to encourage you to vote Democrat, because unlike your fallen stars of media manipulation who find themselves unemployed after costing their employers three-quarters of a billion dollars for lying about non-existent voter fraud, our side doesn’t focus on masturbatory fever-dream bullshit like this:

Yes, once again Debster, the problems within this country’s current incarnation are so the fault of the Democrats, right? But I’m sure your party’s refusal to do anything to help the average American as they ban books, drag queens, gay marriage, minority voting, early voting, by mail voting, women’s personal body autonomy, and the ability to earn a living wage, will clear all of these issues right up.

But Harshbarger here, isn’t the subject of today’s literary musings, despite the fact that down the road. I will most certainly be undertaking a far more entertaining and in-depth dissection of her idiotic as fuck mental ramblings. No, she’s simply the opening act for the true star of my allegorical assembly of the asinine, the thrice-covered Gerry Catinari of Sacramento, CA.

In previous screeds, I’ve covered Catinari’s disturbingly ignorant takes on everything he regards paranoically under the sun, but in today’s hopefully final facet of his story-arc, I’m going to be focused primarily on his political observations, which to be fair are just as fearfully misinformed and bordering in the insane, as everything else that he’s cluelessly blathered on about thus far.

Catinari at his best, is a cornucopia stuffed chock-full of Caucasian cravenness, and at his worst, he’s the best standing argument for reengaging in the practice of Eugenics that I have ever seen in my life. For those of you unfamiliar with what Eugenics is, here’s the generally accepted definitive:

“The study of how to arrange reproduction within a human population to increase the occurrence of heritable characteristics regarded as desirable. Developed largely by Sir Francis Galton as a method of improving the human race, eugenics was increasingly discredited as unscientific and racially biased during the 20th century, especially after the adoption of its doctrines by the Nazis in order to justify their treatment of Jews, disabled people, and other minority groups.”

Now, in no way, shape, or quantifiable form, am I suggesting that we as a society, collectively reinvest in the undertaking of applying such an abominable course of action upon our citizenry at large, because to be fair, the question of who gets to determine the righteous, and who gets to not be designated as such, would result in an ethical conundrum that could in eventual consequence, find this country stranding before the International Criminal Court in the Hague, as a defendant.

Regardless, I would also maintain that when someone comes along who proves to us all without a doubt that their end of the gene pool is both rationally shallow and desperately in need of chlorine, maybe we should at the very least, apply some concentrated effort towards keeping their particular DNA strand from replicating itself any further than it already unfortunately has. 

Mind you, I’m not suggesting forced sterilization, so much as I am forced incarceration in a library until they can prove that not only have they gotten definitively smarter, but that they in tandem, also give a genuine damn about their fellow humans as well, irrespective of the societal demographics involved.

Why do I say this, you ask?

Well, if it hasn’t become blatantly obvious by now over the course of my three previous screeds concerning his publicly posted bigotry, racism, misogyny, codependency on inane conspiracies, and anti-LGBTQ rhetoric, Catinari is the quintessential walking definition of everything that you’d expect a fucking idiot to be.  And in a turn that’s even sadder, he can’t seem to stop himself from being obsessively so.

Take for instance, this prime example of cluelessness, posted right after the disastrous 2023 midterms, where the GQP’s overconfident predictions of a “Red Wave” turned out to be nothing more than a pink drip:

Weird is it not, that running a failed TV snake-oil salesman and a conspiracy-pushing loon framed in perpetual soft focus as key sate candidates, didn’t yield the result you were hoping for, when the metaphorical dust has settled. A mystery of the Age, I guess.

After all, Trump had all of those desirable characteristics when he slithered into American politics, and he somehow managed to still get it over the line.

I guess running one-trick ponies as so-called viable contenders, when their trick is already widely known if not despised, isn’t the surefire thing it once was.  a correction to this, I’d normally suggest that you could actually offer up some non-insane entrants, but you and I already know that your party happily cast aside those moderates in favor of the brain-dead cultists you now have, quite some time ago.

I guess running one-trick ponies as so-called viable contenders, when their trick is already widely known if not despised, isn’t the surefire thing it once was.  a correction to this, I’d normally suggest that you could actually offer up some non-insane intrants, but you and I already know that your party happily cast aside those moderates in favor of the brain-dead cultists you now have, quite some time ago.

Here’s the deal, if your guy is a proven liar, coin-man, adulterer, traitor, coward, and you still support him with pride, you don’t really have the right to lecture others regarding any topic related to either governance or the rules of society in general. And you most certainly, don’t get to claim the higher moral ground, like this hypocritical posting of supreme self-ownership blatantly attempts to do:

Sigh. As you can see, Catinari’s gift for reposting that which is erroneous is on full display, and is its way, it once again bites him squarely on the undersexed Vienna sausage that he ever so optimistically, calls his dick.

To note, the character flaws that Trump openly displays as if they were attributes, are the same qualities that in a Democrat candidate, would cause the GQP to prepare their torches and pitchforks for a midnight march upon the proverbial castle, but when it’s their guy committing the transgression, it’s a “no big whoop, thank you very much”, kind of reaction,

Hypocrisy may not necessarily be a Conservative value, but they still present it far better than anyone else. But since we’re all here, let me just shred some of the “points” that this mentally-meandering message posted by a moron, so definitively does not make, if only for the joy of punching yet another hole in the floor of Catinari’s dimwitted dinghy.

To start, the originator of this garbage masquerading as commentary, did not “vote” for the 2A, the next Supreme Court justice, the Electoral College, or the Republic we all live in, for those particulars are all fairly well-inoculated from his direct input. No, our friend here voted for the singular demagogues whose abominable biases and lack of concern for their fellow citizen, mirrored and appealed to his sense of hatred the most, and that’s it in a nutshell.

For as he noted, “I voted for the Platform”, and the only one that the GQP has offered the American people since the decline of their party began with the inclusion of all things Trumpian, is the one that they wish to hang drag queens, Transpeople, Women, Gays, Minorities, and the highly educated from.

Oh, who am I kidding? They don’t need a platform, so long as they still have access to trees:

The GQP, everyone. Reminding us all, just exactly why the modern-day Neo-Nazi movement overwhelmingly votes for them, and not for us tree-hugging, anti-hanging, bleeding-heart Libtards.

Sure, I guess we could craft pinatas made out of humans as they are a renewable resource, but to be fair, who has a far more established track record for doing so, and then successfully getting away with it? I can only guess when they say that “the South will rise again”, they’re obviously referencing the problematic level of its ongoing inbreeding, and not the non-existent IQ of its collective legislators.

That disgusting reality aside, let’s take a look at the rest of this jackass manifesto, and see just what else contained within its asinine boundaries, is fantastical unadulterated horseshit. And for the ease of any non-Alt-Wrong readers, I’ll translate it all into “MAGA speak”, as a public service.

“I’m voting for the Police and Law and Order”.


“Unless of course, it or “they”, dare come after our mango Mussolini man-child for his numerous acts of campaign fraud, treason, or unabashed theft of classified documents. And in relation to the cops that protected the nation’s Capitol, when all we were trying to do was overthrow the results of a fair election based on proven lies, right after we attempted to hang the Vice-President? The nerve!”

“I’m voting for the Military and the veterans…”.

MAGA TRANSLATION: “Therefore, I’m supporting the party that cuts their benefits, offers them false praise while doing nothing to live up to it, and does so as they worship a draft-dodging, war widow and Gold Star family insulting coward, who not only paid his way off of the draft register, but also claimed that it was his nonexistent bone spurs that were at fault for his 4F status. An affliction that when he was questioned about, he couldn’t remember with any sense of actual detail, but oh well… I’m sure that it was all legit.”

”I’m voting for the Flag that is always missing…”

MAGA TRANSLATION: “Actually, I know it’s not, and that this is a stupid-as-fuck thing to say, given the fact that it’s been debunked several times, but Tucker said it was 100% true, so I’m running with that.”

“I’m voting for the right to speak my opinion and not be censored”.

MAGA TRANSLATION: “Hi there! Despite claiming to be a “Constitutionalist”, I still don’t understand that a private business (such as social media platforms) isn’t governed by the First Amendment, and I’m very upset that mu racism, misogyny, xenophobia, and anti-LGBTQ rhetoric is getting called out.”

“I’m voting for secure borders”.

MAGA TRANSLATION: “That’s why I’ll be voting for the guy that hired illegal aliens to work at his resorts.”

“I’m voting for the right to praise my God without fear”.

MAGA TRANSLATION: “Despite the fact that I claim to be a Christian, I don’t actually follow his decrees,  live his Word, or place any sincere stock in the promise of Isaiah 54:17, which states that; “No weapon that is formed against thee shall prosper; and every tongue that shall rise against thee in judgment thou shalt condemn. This is the heritage of the servants of the Lord, and their righteousness is of me, saith the Lord.”

“I’m voting for every unborn soul”….

MAGA TRANSLATION: “Hence the reason why I support the party that took away the body autonomy of only one gender, so that later on, I can demonize single mothers as being irresponsible whores and the worst of societal parasites, thereby justifying my political brethren obliterating the social aid programs that assist them.”

“I’m voting for freedom and the American Dream”

MAGA TRANSLATION: “Offer applies to White males only. All others need not apply.”

“I’m voting for Good and against Evil”.

MAGA TRANSLATION: “And by that, I mean the absolute reverse, as it’s only my party that’s attacking the LGBTQ Community, minorities, women, free speech, personal healthcare choices, and of all things, motherfuckin’ Disneyland. All while banning books, defunding public libraries, spreading slander about teachers, scientists, and journalists, as they attempt to replace Democracy with an Americanized variant of fascism, but I digress.”.

“I’m not just voting for one person…”

MAGA TRANSLATION: “OK, I admit it… I actually am. And trust me, he’s so not worth it. But he does say all the hateful things that I want to say without suffering any notable consequence, and God, do I love him for it, even if he would cheerfully unplug my life support so that he could charge up his I-phone.”

“I’m voting for the future of my country!”.

MAGA TRANSLATION: “I’m voting to keep “my” America as clueless and vanilla as a Norman Rockwell calendar, and if that fails, I’ll just threaten the safety of my fellow Americans with random acts of stochastic terrorism. Because as you well know, that’s what true lovers of personal freedom do.”

However, once Catinari remoras onto a theme that makes his side look like the good guys, despite all verified evidence to the contrary, he’s loath to let it go. As you’ve come to expect, Catinari willingly provides an example of this “we’re the true heroes here” self-owning hypocrisy, and as you’d also expect, he misses the irony of his own stupidity, being proven by no less than his own hand.   

Something that I was more than happy to call attention to:

So, let me get this straight, if I may. And if I can, let me share the following observation that I’ve made.

The political party currently banning books of all kinds, eliminating minority-based cultural studies from grade schools as well as college campuses, and who stripped away women’s personal body autonomy, all while repeatedly calling for the Free Press to be chilled, as they utter consistent demands that their opponents be locked up for crimes both imaginary and farcical, believe that they’re the ones on the “right side of History”?

Interesting. Especially if you’re a devotee of real History, and not the whitewash that Conservatives willingly guzzle as if it was the very essence of a Manna milkshake. Generally, when the one side doing all of that I listed above, does so in the face of all verified reality while claiming that it’s the other side who are the true villains, it’s literally the clearest confession of guilt that the actually righteous could ever hope for.

And Catinari’s consistent use of a cartoon character whose well-established ethos is 180 digress opposite of his asinine one, is possibly one the surest indicators that his regurgitated view of actualized realty is just as warped as his intellect. This is not to say that overall, Catinari is stupid. Far from it, in fact., It just seems that when it comes to thinking logically, he appears to be having a rather hard go of it.

Inadvertently, Catinari’s consistent use of a cartoon character whose well-established ethos is 180 digress opposite of his asinine one, is possibly one the surest indicators that his regurgitated view of actualized realty is just as warped as his intellect. This is not to say that overall, Catinari is stupid. Far from it, in fact., It just seems that when it comes to thinking logically, he appears to be having a rather hard go of it.

And yes, there’s yet another example of that mental defect to be found, despite his efforts to sound smart:

Here’s a fun stupid human trick that you can do, and the best part is that its costs absolutely nothing: find a MAGAt, any MAGAt, and ask them; “When was America “Great”, and why was that?”, and then enjoy watching how they attempt to dance around the issues of indigenous genocide, slavery, racism, misogyny, as well as the xenophobia and anti-LGBTQ sentiment interwoven historically throughout America’s dark legacy.

Seriously. It’s better than an entire case of bubble-wrap being handed to you, but the sound of the air escaping as they try to defend the slogan that was adapted from the KKK of the 1920’s, is exactly the same. However, further additional joy can be gleaned from the new revamped MAGA credo, which is, and I swear to mythical God that I am not making this up; “Make America Great and Glorious Again”, or “MAGAGA“, for short. 

An acronym that sounds like either a baby being strangled to death by a fellow toddler, or the name of a bizarre Japanese sexual practice one would only discover the meaning of betwixt the sticky pages of a tentacle porn magazine.

Maybe it’s just me, but has anyone else noticed just how much Neocons such as Catinari rely on labels to make sense of the world that they don’t understand? And just how often they present their assignations devoid of the crucial context that would invalidate them?

Well, this seems like a fun game! Let me try a few of my own, if such a thing is permissible. And I promise, I’ll be just as thoughtfully intellectual as Catinari is attempting to be here.

Let’s start with this “Christian”, who posted this vile insipidness on the day of a mass shooting:

Now, let’s try “Sane”:

Followed up by “Honest”:

Naturally, we need to discuss the “Patriots”:And we’ll finish up with my personal favorite, the “Really, really smart” “Stable genius”:

But let’s not forget Conservatives favorite designation and ploy, “Victimhood”: a gambit so well worn out and unsubstantiated at this point in the political arena, it’s akin to my griping about how hard it is to find a good VCR repair shop these days.

Neocons LOVE playing the victim, especially when it can be used as a (limited, mind you) defense against being called out for their own definable actions, both abominable if not numerous.Note that they say (and do) racist things, they’ll say you’re attacking “White Culture” in all of its mayonnaise-soaked glory. Observe that they’re religious hypocrites, and they’ll accuse you of being a Satanist, as if they actually know what one of those is.

Suggest that the poor, our veterans, and the most disadvantaged among us deserve help, while the 1% should pay their fair share? Well, you can just get the fuck out of here, and take your Communist / Socialist / Woke bullshit with you, as you go.

Defend the LGBTQ Community from the scourge of GQP discrimination and violent threats, then sit back and wait to be slandered as either a groomer or a pedophile, irrespective of the fact that their party is literally top-heavy with persons fitting both descriptives. And if you dare advocate that Women should have the inherent right to control their own personal healthcare decisions?

That sounds like stereotypical cuck-soy-boy-bottom-humper propaganda, so far as they’re concerned. And no matter what validated realty says or proves, rest assured that the entire world is allied against them, which should cause them to set aside a moment for personal reflection, but usually doesn’t. And let me tell you, what they think actually sets off the Libs is hilarious, because in their view, it’s quite literally everything under the sun, no matter how insignificant or pointless.

A prime example:

OMFG, AM I EVER SO MAD THAT PATRIOTS ARE SNAGGING THIS SHIRT, and I’m… um… not, I guess? What exactly are us Libbers supposed to be “seething” about, exactly? The fact that once again, MAGAts have seemingly self-identified as being useful idiots for our convenience alone? In essence, it basically tells me who shouldn’t be allowed to handle anything sharp, flammable, fragile, stabby, explosive, or possibly maiming, within the boundaries of my immediate physical presence.

And most certainly, it does help me custom tailor my party invite and Christmas card list, as well. Hey, I can quite easily be the bigger person here and thank them for doing that, as its actually quite the genuinely thoughtful gesture on their part, for once. And here I was, thinking that these morons had a limited usefulness to our society, past being a cautionary tale concerning inbreeding with a urinal cake, that is.

Regardless of whether Neocons are posting false “Facebook banned this flag picture” memes, or a never-ending onslaught of debunked statistics, culture war conspiracies, scientific misinterpretation, or political claptrap, the one cry that binds all of it together in its mewling mendacity, is the rallying clarion that;

Say what you want about Hitler, and you should, but the modern-day Conservative movement has obviously been taking some detailed notes, and putting them to nefarious use. I guess that the old adage of “You learn something new every day” is true, despite its evidential source being unable to learn anything at any time.

In fact, an excellent specimen of this theorem is served up by Catinari yet again, in the form of a meme featuring conservative “commentator” (idiot) Kelly Sadler, and its message is a true corker of cravenly hypocritical unawareness in its purest distillation:

Remember what I said earlier about everything the GQP says being either projection or confession? Well, here it’s both. Sadler’s comment that it isn’t up to conservatives to “repair the norms”, is pure GQP misdirection at its fullest and finest, given the undeniable fact that it was her party alone that not only sadistically shattered the said norms, but indulged in gang-raping them as they gleefully did so.

Remind me again if you would, just which political partisanship openly praised dictators, slurred minorities as criminals, women standing up for their rights as feminazi’s, the LGBTQ Community as sexually perverted deviants, and who attempted and fortunately failed to violently overturn the tabulated results of a free and fair election?

Go ahead… I’ll wait.

And while I do, I’ll contemplate as to why it is that Catinari, a man who claims to know all about that which is political, has ostensibly “no idea” who Sadler actually is, despite having the informational archives of the World Wide Web at his intellectually-challenged fingertips. For the record, Sadler is the current Commentary Editor and a columnist for The Washington Times, as well as being a regular contributor [AKA: “Liar”] to the wannabe FOX clone that is Newsmax.

She also posts genuinely asinine self-owning bon-mots such as these, along with the usual fear-mongering red meat toss, via the Internet’s closest analog to what the demographic of Darwin’s waiting room would look like:

Yeah, pointing out the reality that the Democrats tackle the issues head-on that your side won’t even condescend to pretend that they even exist, isn’t the strong flex that you believe it to be. Just sayin’.
For the life of me, I cannot even fathom why your side gets so consistently slandered as being full of moronic louts who get hard at the mere thought of political violence. Truly, a mystery for the ages.

This assessment, presented to us all by a disingenuously hateful Stepford wench who gets paid to sell out her gender as well as her country, but I digress if only for the sake of modern-day chivalry.Um, lady? One of your possible Presidential contenders is currently waging a cultural war against a cartoon mouse, so maybe your dumb as fuck detestable ass, should just sit this one out.

Yet once more, pointing out the consequential fallout from your mango-man-child’s numerous illegal actions, really isn’t the end-all be-all power-play that you believe it to be. But on the upside, thanks for listing just a few of the several reasons as to why nobody with a conscience or a working soul, should ever vote for him.

And did I mention the one last thing that makes me laugh at Catinari’s assertion that he doesn’t know who Sadler actually is? Well, as it just so happens to be, Sadler’s other non-important, low-key, and hardly worth-mentioning job at one point, was serving as Director of Surrogates and Coalition, where she was responsible for compiling and distributing talking points to allies of the administration.

I know, I know. Due to her job title, I thought that it involved recruiting the next-in-line mistress for Trump, as well.

Sadler was forced to resign however, after it was learned that during a communication meeting at the WH, she joked that the now late John Mc Cain’s opposition to Gina Haspel being nominated as CIA director didn’t matter, because he was, and I quote; “dying anyway.” You know, like the social norms set by the GQP demand that you do in such a situation?

I have to hand it to Catinari once more: just as he does when he’s seeking cultural guidance when the man goes in search of role models to emulate, he’s certainly not afraid to go all the way down to the bottom of the barrel itself. Even if it does mean that he’ll then be shoveling another ten feet underneath it, to find the moral icons that he draws most of his ideology from.

Nevertheless, Sadler did mention the following of agendas, and in the case of the American Taliban that she is so willingly a complicit member of, such direction applies to almost every facet of modern-day life, regardless of the realty that the citizens of America overall, consistently reject the one presented so odiously by the GQP in both its entirety and its message.

When it gets right down to the brass tacks of the matter, the GQP is overly staffed, supported, and pathetically guided towards its own self-caused eventual demise, by no less than the absolute fucking lowest caliber of pridefully hypocritical idiots that only the aberrations of nature can so abundantly provide.

Speaking of which, one of the Alt-Wrong’s favorite serendipitous stalwarts, is the dog whistle non-issue of conservative voices being censored, even though numerous studies [as noted in earlier screeds] have proven that the very idea of such, is pure unadulterated bullshit. But such evidential trifles won’t stop Catinari asserting the opposite, as he lauds the GQP’s top-notch inadvertent walking punchline:

The Representative for Colorado’s Third Congressional District, U.S. Congresswoman Lauren Boebert, everyone.

A hypocritically unintelligent conspiracy-spouting anti-vaxxer, a virulently awful Pro-2A proponent, a callous Pro-Lifer married to a registered sex offender, who just became a grandmother in her mid-30’s, because one of her equally as dumb children, knocked up another equally as dumb child, having a meltdown regarding Free Speech protection directed at the execs of Twitter, which in no way, shape or form, is governed by such.

To note, the First Amendment says this, and ONLY this: “Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof; or abridging the freedom of speech, or of the press; or the right of the people peaceably to assemble, and to petition the Government for a redress of grievances.”

Read that again, if you must. No mention of Twitter, Facebook, Instagram, TikTok, or any of the myriad of interactive social media platforms that have existed in the past, and/or currently exist now. NOT A SINGLE FUCKING MENTION OF ANY OF THEM.

You know why? Because they’re (deep breath) private fucking enterprises whose users are subject to the policies and rules set forth by same said entities, which have all been PREVIOUSLY AGREED TO BY SAID USERS, and therefore, are technically immune from any such governmental oversight, no matter what this guntard grandma-to-be, screams to the darkening sky.

Now, you would think that a duly (if sadly) elected congressperson would already know this to be true, and let me assure you that Boebert most definitively does, but in her exceedingly limited defense, you can’t raise those crucial campaign kickbacks from your asinine cultist base, until you publicly slaughter a slew of already dead cows, now can you?

And may I just say, that for people who are allegedly being “silenced” they sure seem to be pretty loud, if not highly visible on social media, in regards to their imaginary non-issue.

But mythical God love him, since no else with a brain will, Catinari just can’t stop posting the most crystalline examples of self-owning GQP lunacy. Such as say… something to do with unfounded anti-vaxxing propaganda being “censored” for the good of the nation’s public health and well-being:

Mace here, is a truly unique GQP member. She has openly criticized her fellow Neocons such as Marjorie Taylor Greene in particular, stating that; “The embrace of QAnon, conspiracy theories, or any other extreme, racist, bigoted, or violent views will always get a forceful condemnation from me.”

Now I will give credit where credit is due, and given the venomous nature of today’s “Big Lie” promoting GQP leadership, that’s also a ballsy position to take. However?

Despite saying; “Leadership means doing the right thing, even against your own party”, when she was faced with Trump proudly endorsing her primary opponent Katie Arrington, while branding Mace as being “disloyal”, she flip-flopped, and pathetically posted a video of herself gushing over Trump, as she stood in front of Trump Tower NYC, saying; “He brought American jobs back, he lowered our taxes, wages and employment were better for every hard-working American, He made America safer.”

But as is my way, I had further commentary to add to this, yet another one of Catinari’s cringe-inducing posts:

Keep in mind, that despite gun violence being the number one killer of children in our country, despite the issue of societally crippling race-based disparities, despite the fact that women are being essentially and brutally penalized for just being existent women, and that the average American is barely treading the shark-laden financial waters of our capitalistic economy, the GQP’s main priorities are irrespective of what Americans are demanding of them.

Instead, they’re harassing, demonizing and attempting to criminalize, the LGBTQ Community, banning books, defunding public libraries, slashing public health and social aid measures, and as always, stoking the fires of unfettered fear about the supposed danger of the [insert convenient scapegoat here], while purposefully making sure that child marriage remains legal in far too many states.

And no, I am not making that abominable reality up, or being disingenuously hyperbolic about it, either:

West Virginia’s official state motto BTW, is “Montani Semper Liberi”, which translates to the rather revealing axiom that “Mountaineers Are Always Free”. Just how free, you ask?

Well, under the auspices of a law signed by the ironically named Governor Jim Justice, who just so happens (naturally) to be a Republican, children as young as 16 can get married, but only with specific restrictions imposed. These so-called limitations include getting parental consent first, along with a preclusion that they can’t marry someone more than four years older than them.

This, I’m sure, doesn’t turn your stomach at all, because in all honestly, what’s more natural than a college sophomore having relations with one that’s still attending high school? And these alleged people boys and girls, are the role models that Catinari takes his political leanings from? How comforting.

But such are the whims of life, are they not? Nevertheless, and in spite of the abundant archive that Catinari pulls his inanity from, he’s still one of my fellow Americans, and a proud one at that. Granted, he’s also one of the worst representations of what such is supposed to be, but due to hie inability to absorb and then correctly process reality, I guess I can only assign a limited amount of blame to his ideology.

The obvious culprit here is possibly Catinarl’s family tree, whose lineage I can only assume, resembles that of a bottle garden. Irrespective of this though, is that when it gets right down to it, Catinari knows what protects both his abominable philosophy and the one that I carry, which is based on being an actual human, and not a hatefully ignorant land-slug. So, wherein does this protection stem from? Catinari knows:

This warning, brought to you not only by a person who supports the party currently using the Constitution as an allegorical masturbation sock, but also a person who has zero issue with the vile events that took place in regards to J6, as well. But to be fair, Catinari does believe in the founding documents at least, and even I have to applaud that, despite his thinking that it only applies to his ideological side alone.

Shame then, given his faith in one of our nation’s most sacrosanct documents, that his party’s de facto leader views it as being far less relevant than Catinari does. In fact, he even publicly stated as much:

For the record, if the 2020 election had indeed been “stolen”, as the World’s Angriest Creamsicle falsely suggests whenever possible, then the only recourse for such, would be to have yet another election, one which due to such a historic fraud occurring, would be triple-checked for accuracy.

But as Trump is known to be nothing less than a sociopathic liar and con-man, rest assured that such a theoretical is not even worth considering.  And that’s not just my opinion, that’s the end ruling of SIXTY-FOUR separate legal challenges that Trump lost when he, time and time again, failed to produce any of the so-called evidence proving fraud that to this day, he still claims to have, but still won’t publicly produce.

Because of… um… [INSERT GQP-APPROVED BULLSHIT EXCUSE HERE], I guess? So, Catinari ever the staunch Constructionist, is perfectly A-OK with Trump suggesting that the big “C” gets tossed out, but if one dare suggest that perhaps the 1% pay their fair share of taxes, or that the LGBTQ Community has the same civil and societal rights as he does, then America is going straight to the bowels of Hell itself.

We got it, Gerry. You’re a fucking idiot, and that’s never going to change.

By the way, does Catinari also know what the Founding Daddies would also not want? A mango-tinted dumbfuck wannabe fascist, scheming in league with a corrupt political party full of seditious cowards, to unweave the very fabric of the once grand republic that they fought so hard to create. And more specifically, not one who after attempting to usurp democracy, had the cojones to claim this as well:

Trump, ever the congenital liar if not an unabashed egomaniac, claimed during a speech that the “famous pollster John McLaughlin” told him just before the C19 pandemic, (whose response Trump so incompetently mangled), that “if George Washington and Abraham Lincoln came back from the dead”, and formed a dual political ticket, that Trump would “beat them by 40 percent”.

Quick question? Are they zombies? Because that seems like it would be a hindrance to the marketing of their campaign to the average American, what with the need for fresh brains and all that. Just sayin’.

Carrying on with this blatant falsehood, our homegrown Mango Mussolini stated that; “The numbers were numbers that nobody could even believe,” You’re actually correct for once, my mango-man-child: nobody does believe this, as its pure horseshit served up on a slab of worm-infested red meat. You’re actually correct for once, my mango-man-child: nobody does believe this, as its pure horseshit served up on a slab of worm-infested red meat.

Unsurprisingly, Trump has no obvious clue about actual American history, and his blatant lie is so goddamn egregious beyond all rational belief, that even the ghost of Joseph Goebbels found itself taken aback by the hubris of its narcissistic audacity.

But as his nature, Trump just had to embellish what was an already unbelievable tale with a gilded layer of masturbatory ego-icing: “That’s how good our numbers were. I’ll never forget that because that would be a tough tandem, George Washington and Abraham Lincoln… ‘Ladies and gentlemen, George Washington and Abraham Lincoln have announced that they will be running for president and vice president.’ I would say, ‘Oh man, that’s tough, that’s a tough one.’”

Interestingly, while Lincoln is known to have been a determined Republican, Washington never allied himself with any specific political party of his time, choosing instead to run as a nonpartisan candidate for the office in both 1789 and 1792.  And now you know. And as the cool kids of my misspent youth were fond of saying…

And battle Catinari does, railing against a wide range of topics inherent with the characteristics that he so pathetically lacks: humanity, empathy, and common human decency. In all the time that I’ve been writing about the wretched slime that a person such as Catinari gleefully represents, I have never witnessed any other of his craven clan fighting half as hard as he, to achieve such a level of banal mediocrity.

Nowhere is this construct of mine more in play when Catinari, ever the intellectual dullard, attempts to utilize a “gotcha!” gambit using yet another of his favorite flails of flaccidity, a so-called “news source”:

Ah, yes… the highly regarded site of AMERICASBESTPICS.COM: aka; the launching pad for Catinari’s never-ending campaign to publicly showcase his ignorance. And while ABP may not ever win any form of journalism award, it at least still offers Catinari and the others of his ilk, to simultaneously pleasure themselves to its truly impressive archive of “FJB” memes as they prove just why their mothers should have collectively swallowed.

Catinari’s reliance on non-accredited websites is a topic that I’ve previously discussed in some length, so if you’ve forgotten or haven’t read them to begin with, I suggest that you hit the AB archive, and check them out. but since his researching skills are as sharp as his critical thinking skillset, I was more than happy to turn him in the right direction, because at my core, I truly am a person who wants to help enlighten the vapidly dim:

Nevertheless, even when given the correct information, and that albeit repeatedly, Catinari’s ignorance soldiers on undaunted, akin to the way in which Madonna still wants to be taken seriously as an actress, despite all evidence to the contrary indicating that her cultural influence has waned.

But Catinari, a man who consistently proves just why it’s a bad idea to breed with a first cousin, won’t be denied his right to be a walking pouter child for funding public education, and despite having unfettered access to the largest trove of information ever assembled outside of the fabled Library of Alexandria, has still somehow, achieved a level of intellectual density on par with the element known as osmium:

Once again, Catinari cherry-picks the relevant details of a story, and then presents then as being the whole of the law, as it were. While what he posted is true on the face of it, it’s also not what I as a writer and researcher, would call “fleshed out”., as several people encompassing both citizenry and police alike, had lost their lives in direct connection with the J6 attack.

To note, they were Ashli Babbitt, an Air Force veteran turned treasonous seditionist, who was fatally shot by a Capitol Police officer as she tried to breach the House chamber, Alabama resident Kevin D. Greeson, who died of a heart attack, dropping dead on the sidewalk just outside of the Capitol building itself.

Rosanne Boyland, a QAnon enthusiast, whose death was (albeit incorrectly) initially reported as being the result of being crushed to death amongst the J6 rioters, but which was later judged to be an amphetamine overdose. In addition to this already tragic (partially) listing, pro-Trump website “Trumparoo” founder Benjamin Philips, died of a stroke.

In regards to fatalities among the police, Capitol Officer Brian D. Sicknick, who was attacked by the throng of stochastic terrorists, died on Jan. 7. after suffering two strokes, most likely brought on by the events of that abominable day.  Said stress is also suspected in the suicides of Officer Jeffrey Smith, who shot himself nine days after the attack, Officer Howard S. Liebengood who preceded him four days earlier, along with Gunther Hashida and Kyle DeFreytag, thereby bringing the total of police who died in connection with this wretchedly failed sedition, to FIVE.

But let’s not focus on the reasons as to why these events happened or any of that, because Catinari desires a “GOTCHA!” win in order to rationalize his ideology, and if he needs to disingenuously distort the actual narrative to do it, that’s just fine by him.

ut to give limited credit to Catinari in regards to his being so dumb that hos homeroom teacher was forced to burn down the school to get him out of 3rd grade, he did at least “ask” Facebook if the meme he had posted was true or not. A query that being both asinine and insincere, I happily answered for him:

Rest assured though, Catinari had an intellectual retort ready, and it was DEVASTATING… sort of:
Yes Gerry… I’m “lying”. That’s why I can always back up my points using actual verified data, and you have to cut and paste “lol” as your so-called and wholly lamentable counter-defense.

I’m not sure just why you derive pleasure by posting debunked conspiracies as a taking point, and then finding yourself embarrassingly unable to assert any form of credible evidence to certify them, but hey- we’ve all got our own kink, and who am I to judge you for yours?  

Oh, that’s right. I’m the one who’s actually correct.

However, Catinari being an intellectually-handicapped reprobate, can’t accept realty at its obvious face value, and finding himself to be proven wrong as seems to be his niche, then deflected from his acquired drubbing by tossing out yet another inferred Alt-Wrong social media falsehood- that being, Facebook’s fact-checkers target only the slime-laden content that Neocons produce as if they were internet Hagfish:

As an observational aside, Catinari has been provided this information and its corresponding connection links, no less than THREE times, and yet, still uses this “I’m asking Facebook” gambit, as if he gets a royalty check for doing so. This sort of pathetic passive-aggressiveness mired in willing ignorance, my dear readers, is just why I so consistently question whether he descended from a lineage of Ancestors, or Incestors.

I say this only because I honestly have no idea as to why Reality and he stopped talking to each other quite some years ago, but I’m fairly confident that the nucleus of their metaphorical divorce, was debatably due to Catinari’s inherent inability to see (if not accept) things for how they actually are, and not as he’d like them to be.

Case in point, Catinari’s bordering on the edge of rabidness assertions that the travesties of J6 and its putrid practitioners, were all part of an insidious conspiracy to unseat the rightful ruler of these seemingly becoming Fascist States of America, Donald J. Trump. But before I dive into all of that, an announcement for both Catinari and/or any of his fellow mango-fellating, treason-supporting, truth-avoiding, fuckheads:

Despite all of the evidence that I’ve presented to the contrary, Catinari obviously considers himself to be a stalwart Patriot, and with that erroneous belief comes all the jingoistic tropes that you’d expect an American Nationalist to believe in: God, Guns, Glory, Mom, Apple Pie, a loyal dog playing in the backyard, a chicken cooking in the stewpot, and a white picket fence setting the allegorical boundary line of an intellect that could only be charitably described as being installed incorrectly, if not incompetently..

And my underlayment of proof for this proposition, you ask? Well, here you go:

Once again, Catinari reaches shallowly into his bag of stupid human tricks, and pulls out its idiot savant, the recently disgraced, always debunked, continually depraved, and currently unemployed conservative cuck, Tucker Carlson. And you just know that whenever you see someone using the word “Libtards” as an adjective, it’s definitely the Mjolnir of a validated argument that’s being swung at us all:

Tucker, best known for promoting White Nationalism while openly fantasizing about engaging in coitus with a green-tinted candy-shelled fictional chocolate company mascot, managed before he was unceremoniously dumped from FOX, to get his hands on several thousand hours of J6 surveillance footage from the Capitol itself, so that he could quite literally, whitewash what transpired on that dark day.

In a transparently blatant Hail Mary pass of sorts, Carlson, much like Catinari tends to do,  applied an underlayment of selectively disingenuous cherry-picking that could only be graciously described as “infinitely microscopic”, in an attempt to turn this broadcast as it happened instance of political violence;

Into this ever so touching and hopeful moment of peaceful outreach and brotherhood for all of Humankind:

So, you may ask, how was this rewriting of caught in the actual moment of History received by those outside of the Neocon bubble who both watched and experienced it, as it occurred? Well, it could have gone better:

Imagine that- the replacement theory conspiracist who knowingly lied about non-existent election fraud, also led about the riot that emanated from such a lie, as well? A reality that I was more than happy to comment on for Catinarl’s benefit, as it is both my niche, if not my chosen way of disseminating information:

Nevertheless, to this day, Catinari and the others of his inane ideology, still insist that the events of J6 were nothing less than the machinations of an insidious cabal staffed by shadowy agents of the Deep State, BLM, Antifa, Disney, the Illuminati, drag queens, or whomever else it is that the Alt-Wrong wants to obsess over that particular week.

And their desperately clutching to the hope that their mentally meandering conspiracy theories invoking their collective delusion, are right, even when they’re consistently being proven wrong, is synchronously both disturbing and hilarious, as evidenced by the stunning sense of denial contained within this posting here:

That’s right folks- nothing to see here, such as the live stream footage, text messages, and social media posts uploaded by the rioters themselves, or even the wall-to-wall news coverage either, because it was all a “lie”. A big fat stinking falsehood. Hence the reason why Tucker Carlson was so hard-pressed to find any video to work with for his bombshell “expose”, because it never happened in the first place.

It was all shot on a London soundstage by the believed to be dead cinematic genius, Stanley Kubrick, and everyone involved, including Trump himself, was a hired crisis actor paid with funds supplied by our Human-Lizard-Hybrid overlords, who are currently residing within the caverns located under Disneyland in Florida. Heck, that’s just as plausible an explanation as any these jackasses’ (sans any actual proof) have come up with, so I say we should just roll with it.

However, I am confused about one thing. If J6 “never happened” as Catinari and his fellow fuckheads are ever so fond of claiming, then why would he post something like this, in regards to an event that never occurred?

Sigh… every time I see one of Catinarl’s allegorical smoking gun postings adding to the ever-increasing reservoir of fabricated fictions surrounding the events of J6, I’m reminded not only why I regard him as both a dishonorable thief of oxygen, but as the sole reason that Humanity’s collective gene pool now employs a cadre of truly vigilant lifeguards standing at the ready.

Not to be overly flippant, but if you’re getting your “bombshells” from a source who goes by the moniker of “DC Drano”, think inside the box for once, and inquire just how much it would cost you to finally offset that tin-foil hat you own with a matching three-piece suit, because rest assured, that guy has the definitive hook-up.

I tell you, if laughter is indeed the best medicine, Catinarl’s assertions of incorrect intellectualism, must be curing the world entire. Now, while it seems obvious that Catinari is so goddamn stupid that he probably perceives that Cheerios are doughnut seeds, I’d go one step further, and strongly suggest that his birth certificate was originally filed with his birth-state as an apology letter from the CEO of Trojan Condoms.

This is due to my hypothesizing that while some babies may have been accidently dropped on their heads by their parents, Catinari’s on the other hand, deliberately thrown him at a wall Instead, given his inability to detect that this story is 100% false in both its narrative and its presentation. But you already knew that, as did we all.

That being, those of us whose brains aren’t perpetually swimming in Kool-Ade, and here’s why:

Capitol security is not solely the responsibility of the House speaker. It is provided by the sergeants-at-arms of the House and Senate, and by the Capitol Police. The House sergeant-at-arms reports to the House speaker, [Pelosi at the time] the Senate sergeant-at-arms reports to the Senate majority leader, who on Jan. 6, was Senator and human-turtle-hybrid, Mitch McConnell.

The direct responsibility for security concerning the Capitol Complex, is borne by the four-member Capitol Police Board, which includes both sergeants-at-arms, and NOT former Speaker Pelosi. In fact, as the Capitol riot escalated, both she and the Senate Majority leader, the afore mentioned Mitch McConnell, called for military assistance, including the National Guard.

Additionally, despite Catinari’s meme boasting that previously unknown texts and emails certify that Pelosi decreased or interfered with the security details of J6, none have ever been found or publicly presented, which seems odd, given the fact that the GQP desperately needs to whitewash the true details if this vile day, lest its fallout directly impinges upon their future electoral opportunities.

In fact, a Senate investigation into the Jan. 6 insurrection uncovered broad government, military and law enforcement missteps, including communication failures within numerous intelligence agencies, with some of the said fault being assigned to Capitol Police officers who found themselves sadly bereft of the necessary training and preparation vital to stopping such an event from taking place.

Jane L. Campbell, president and CEO of the US Capitol Historical Society, when interviewed by CNN, stated that “The Speaker of the House does not oversee security of the US Capitol, nor does this official oversee the Capitol Police Board.”

Pelosi also cannot unduly influence who is appointed to the Board, which consists of the House and Senate Sergeants at Arms, the Architect of the Capitol and the Chief of the Capitol Police. The Sergeants at Arms are elected and must be confirmed by their respective chambers and the Architect must be confirmed by both chambers of Congress.

And according to testimony from the former Capitol Police chief Steven Sund, Pelosi was not even involved in the decisions made ahead of January 6 regarding the National Guard. In his testimony before the US Senate, Sund testified that he approached both Sergeants at Arms on the House and Senate side on January 4 to request the National Guard through an Emergency Declaration from the Capitol Police Board.

According to Sund’s testimony, this request was not approved. Sund went on to say that as an alternative, the Senate Sergeant at Arms Michael C. Stenger; “suggested I ask (the National Guard) how quickly we could get support if needed and to ‘lean forward’ in case we had to request assistance on January 6,”

But forget all that which took me no more than three minutes to adequately research, five minutes to write up, and less than ten seconds to post online, for Catinari, the man singularly responsible for God creating the middle finger, has a meme burning a hole in his political porn folder, and Lord knows, you can’t just let a good fairy-tale go to waste, even if it can be proven by all, that its very essence is horseshit.

Nevertheless, being akin to a rabid cur whose brain is cooking inside its own skull, Catinari just can’t let go of this particular fever-dream that implicates Pelosi, and is the case with most obsessives when their delusions come crashing down to earth, he chooses to switch gears, rather than own up to his declared asininitiy. And when given this compulsion of his, if makes complete sense that he ascribes to the belief that if one conspiracy theory fails to land, the next one in line should most certainly do the trick:

As you may have guessed by now, no she didn’t. While Pelosi’s daughter the documentarian Alexandra Pelosi, has talked publicly about J6, her comments are nowhere near the bombshell admission that Catinari falsely claims occurred. Proof of this, courtesy of her December 12, 2022 interview with Vanity Fair Magazine:

VF: Can you walk me through how your January 6 footage came to be used in the hearing? Did you approach them, or did they approach you?

Alexandra Pelosi: “I offered it up to them and said, if you ever need it, let me know. I wanted to put it out so that people would not accuse me of holding it for my own documentary, because that’s a critique of a lot of people in the media. So I gave it to the committee, they used it when they used it, and then I decided to give it to everybody. I gave it to CNN, ABC, NBC, MSNBC—you know, everybody, so that today you couldn’t say to me, well you have this footage that nobody’s seen.”

VF: When did you offer the footage to the committee?

“Alexandra Pelosi: “Well first of all, when I got back to New York, I offered it—the committee didn’t even exist. I was contacting whoever. Everyone in DC knew it existed, and I offered it out from day one. Basically this is one of those kinds of open secret things in DC. I was always like, if anybody needs it, they can have it. My bigger question was like, when am I gonna release it to the press? I thought it had a news value, but there’s a criminal investigation going on; it gets very complicated. So that’s why I waited for the committee to use it before giving it out to the press.”

Now ,and  with all due respect, does any of this sound as if it bears any relation to what Catinari insists happened? Of course not, because as we’ve seen, the best that Catinari can do is reflexively regurgitate that which lands on his plate, and the truth be damned, especially if it fucks up the narrative that he’s hoping to sell.

And speaking of snake-oil salesmen, here’s yet another of Catinari’s bottom feeder political sources, America’s answer as to what might result if a low-IQAnon Antisemitic Barbie was granted barely functioning sentience, US Representative, Marjorie Taylor Greene:

This article is in reference to Greene’s commentary regarding J6, wherein she declared [falsely] that; “I was very upset. I never expected anything like that. And when it happened, I thought, ‘This is Antifa.’ And no one can convince me it was so-called Trump supporters. And we know there’s a lot wrong there, and I can’t wait for the investigations, real investigations.”

Greene who has zero proof to back up any of her absurd assertions, also defended the close to 1K people who’ve since been arrested for taking part in the J6 riots, the majority of whom, are now (ironically) being prosecuted using their own online posted videos, texts, live streams, and texts that prove their willing participation in relation to the ideological uprising

To this, all Greene could muster was; “They got charged for things they shouldn’t have done. They deserve their day in court. They deserve their due process rights”, essentially implying that these homegrown terrorists, were somehow being inhumanely mistreated under the auspices of the very Law and Order that they themselves, had so violently tried to abolish.

The unwarranted fantasy that the currently indicted, imprisoned, and jailed J6 seditionists re the “real” victims of cruel circumstance, is now an accepted part of the Alt-Wrong repository of victimization lore, and as such, shows no definable signs of cultural erosion as time marches forward: In fact, the disconnection from reality and the calls for action surrounding it, are seemingly escalating to a worrisome pitch:

While on the surface this might seem pathetically humorous, it’s the same virulent strain of mental illness that directly fomented the attempted J6 incursion upon our established democratic process. Despite the irrefutable evidence of that which we as a nation witnessed collectively, asshats such as Catinari, keep insisting that what we saw was not what we saw.

But yeah… Trumpers are so NOT in a cult, am I right? Regardless of one’s political leaning, the sane among us can all agree that the wanton destruction, the ill-tempered impudence weaponized against the Capitol Police, and the physical threats uttered in relation to our duly elected officials, was in its entirety, pathetic, treasonous, and abominably un-American.

And more importantly, it didn’t happen in the vacuum of a media blackout, either. It was live-streamed, recorded, texted about, and observed as it occurred, in real time. And no amount of revisionist rewriting on Catinari’s part, will ever change the validity of this recognized reality. But mythical God above love him as no one else will, he certainly works his dumb as fuck ass off, trying to do so:

From the comfortable perspective of time having passed, the fact that Tucker’s “expose’ turned out to be a nothing-burger of biblical proportions never before seen in this day and age, seems more akin to being an amusing footnote in History, rather than a disturbing attempt to retool its certified narrative, as this most certainly appears to be. And the reasons why “no one” wanted the Capital’s surveillance video openly released to the media, specifically Tucker Carlson, were patently simple.

Other than Carlson possessing a well-deserved reputation for being a devotedly practiced liar, the video also grants visual access to designated as sensitive and secure areas, pinpoints where certain security cameras are located, showcases Capitol security procedures and the like, and could enable those wanting to commit similar attacks, to discover just how Congress is protected in the wake of such an event.

And as I noted above, despite all of Tucker’s Free Speech posturing, the videos revealed nothing save for that which was already known by the general public, nor did it grant any form of credence to the Alt-Wrong’s ever-increasing pile of de bunked conspiracy theories, to boot. I won’t speak for you, but watching Carlson having to eat unending crow as he failed to certify any of that which he had been claiming for months to be true, was a glorious sight to behold.

Catinari, what with his handicap of being a total fucking moron and all, can’t seemingly grasp the obviousness of that which is easily debunked it seems, and because of this supreme mental disadvantage, lashes out in the only way that a stereotypical Trumptard knows how- by invoking Hitler of course, because for whatever reason, the rancid bowl of mayonnaise residing in his head that masquerades as his intellect, led him to believe that doing so, was both inordinately clever, if not wholly original:

Wrong on both counts Gerry, but  mythical Gd love you for trying, nevertheless:

Wrong on both counts Gerry, but mythical God love you for trying as hard as you do, nevertheless.

And as for your declaration that “Hitler was an Artist”, as if that means something of merit past the point of proving that as a child, you inadvertently ate a lot of lead paint chips, it’s not my side that crafted this image depicting your mange-tinted-rapist as being an artist himself so what does that say about your dude?

No matter how long this embarrassment of a man continues to slither over the earth, I’ll never tire of the depictions of him engaged in activities that he can’t do, isn’t skilled at, and has no interest whatsoever engaging in. Say, such as reading, thinking, and successfully passing for human, as simple examples?

Granted, his exceedingly limited physical stamina and even far lower emotional intelligence, play a crucial part in such, but I still love how his aggrandized depictions of self always manage to lose his triple chin, the ferret-nest hairstyle, his ever-present swollen man-gut, and the alleged “skin” tone that makes him look as if his mother conceived him by having sex with a sack of rotting orange inside a vat of fetid cottage cheese.

But in his limited defense, when one possesses the charm, the culture, the wit, the intelligence, and the personal warmth of a deep-frozen rectal thermometer wrapped in sandpaper to begin with, the set expectations that people in general have of you, tend to remain low, so let’s all keep that in mind if we may. And when it came to my responding to Catinari’s Godwin’s Law-inspired attempt at snide deflection?

And when it came time for my response to Catinari’s Godwin’s Law-inspired attempt at snide deflection? Well, because it’s me and I’m a “people person” in my heart, I gave it all the respect and credit it deserved, albeit with a minor spelling error, because to be fair, this guy really doesn’t deserve my best effort:

His ranting aside, Catinari does have a specific goal in mind though, and as you’ve seen from my using his own postings as proof, it’s all about deflecting the responsibility for the actions of the J6 rioters away from them, and disingenuously casting it onto the very same people that they were trying to harm and/or threaten into submission 

For as it was earlier noted, every time a Neocon opens their mouth, it’s ether projection or confession:

To note, nobody started “tossing stun grenades into the crowd” as if on a whim, until the same said dickless insurrectionist throng started their seditionist bullshit, which as you may remember, WE ALL SAW LIVE AS IT OCCURRED, via TV and the web, albeit Twitter, Tik-Tok, Instagram or Facebook.

Ans as you may have already surmised, I was more than happy to point out this reality to Catinari once more, if only for the personal satisfaction that my reminding him of such things, tends to vex him ever so terribly:

Weird how smashing the windows of the Capitol building, attacking the cops protecting it, and chanting about hanging the VP, for not violating the Constitution in order to salve the bruised maniacal ego of a man-child who lost a fair election, led to the meriting of an armed response from the authorities, but I digress, if only for the sake of not having to explain the truly fucking obvious to the actually sane, yet again.

As a recap of sorts, my constituent labeling of Catinari as being nothing less than an absolute fucking moron, akin to what the resultant spawn of a branchless family tree would most certainly present itself as, is I feel, accurate beyond any meritorious debate, and I will go to my allegorical grave believing this.

I base this assertion on both the stunning ignorance of his own words, if not his collective social media postings offered to the world entire, which at their assorted best, are seemingly indicative of an as yet unknown mental illness that to its credit, is slowly consuming what may remain of an intellect that could only be charitably described as being “adversely challenged”.

No matter what new information Catinari is exposed to, if it doesn’t align with the MAGA sludge pudding that poorly masquerades as his critical thinking skillset, it will find itself reflexively rejected out of hand and as we’ve seen, without the inconvenience of any dutiful research being applied to its veracity first.

And if after everything that I’ve presented to you, some of you still reserve some form of doubt in regards to this fact, then I can only offer you this close to last example of all that which I’ve been so sarcastically offering up for your enjoyment:

Yes, you read that right. Those weren’t insurrectionist or seditious rioters that we all saw on J6, they were “tourists”, who I can only guess, found themselves somehow unfortunately waylaid on their way to the Capitol’s gift shop.

Such an asinine declaration echoes the disingenuous words of Republican [naturally] Georgian Representative Andrew Clyde who suggested, and with a straight face no less, that; “Watching the TV footage of those who entered the Capitol and walked through Statuary Hall showed people in an orderly fashion staying between the stanchions and ropes taking videos and pictures. You know, if you didn’t know the TV footage was a video from January the 6th, you would actually think it was a normal tourist visit”.

With this single utterance of morally spineless commentary alone, Clyde singlehandedly reaffirmed the modern adage that while you can lead a brain-dead cultist to reality, you can’t make him actually think about it. Just remember kids, these noble and gentle souls were just simple “sightseers” interested in nothing more than spending a grand day out at the Capitol, and usurping our Democracy as they did so:

As a personal observation, let me just note that if this is Clyde’s truly-held belief of what a gaggle of gregarious day-trippers looks like, then I sure as fuck don’t want to know what next act of domestic terrorism he’ll be more than happy to whitewash, because you just know that whatever it may turn out to be, it’s going to make the events of 9-11 look like the 4-20 celebration at Coachella.

Ok, maybe that’s a bad example, considering 4-20 is also the saddest of days where Neo-Nazi’s celebrate the unfortunate occurrence of Hitler’s birthday, but I’m sure that the majority of you understood where I was originally going with all of that.

Thank goodness, because in this ,the golden age of instant offense, you never know how its ever going to go.

Sadly however, Catinari as it has been solidly distinguished above, will never find himself swayed by the merest of trivialities such as reason, logic, or the scourge of established and verified reality, no matter how many times he and it run into each other headfirst. Nowhere is this POV of mine better validated than when he posts stupidity like this, a discussion thread that fortunately for both you and I, is close to being one of the last examples that I’ll be discoursing on within Catinari’s nearly completed story arc.

As it’s been well-known for quite some time now, Misery loves company. But as it turns out, apparently so does mentally deficient density too, for there’s no better person to bolster Catinari’s collection of political paranoia, blatant lies and misrepresentations, GQP talking points, and the Cream of White man whining, than Catinari’s go-to heterosexual life-partner and equally as wackadoo no facts to ever offer wingman, Steve Laux:

And this my loyal readers, is why it’s generally a bad idea to huff paint during your formative years. Just a tip from me to you. But let’s carry on, if only for the laughs expected to come our way:And with that, we’re off to the emblematic races, albeit one run by dimwits that dumb-fucks such as Catinari and Laux, so proudly represent. However, given Laux’s previously established reputation for launching the most ignorantly unprepared of intellectual counterattacks, his “retort” was just what you would expect from a person so unintelligent, that they think that an innuendo, is an Italian suppository:

Has anyone else ever noticed that when their assessments find themselves cornered or openly questioned, nattering Neocons such as Laux seemingly have nothing to offer the discussion, save for snide sarcasm?

Certainly, that confidence in one’s self emanates from the knowledge that the facts or other such data that one might use to back up an argument, are not worth presenting when engaging in the simplicity of denying derision will do quite nicely in its stead. And when that gambit fails to work as it often does, all these morons need do, is shift gears as it were, and present yet another asinine theorem as certified fact.

But if I were to nevertheless offer limited praise to the one thing that I really do enjoy about jackasses such as Catinari tends to be, it’s that regardless of their being openly mocked, happily reviled, or finding themselves publicly shunned as if they were lecherous lepers, they still retain the delusion that they should proudly stand behind their fever-dream fantasies with a bucket of allegorical blood.

Nothing could be further from the truth of course, as the majority of what they spout is easily debunked, but when you’re as racist, paranoid, and blatantly misinformed as the maggoty MAGA faithful happily portray themselves to be, I can only guess that serving as a prime example of why it’s a bad idea to impregnate your sister, is all that you’ve got to hold onto.

Speaking of obsessive behavior, I’d like to end this screed on the singular poison that the MAGA faithful at large likes to hold close to their hearts, that being a nearly-maniacal hatred and distrust of the former US President, Barrack Hussein Obama. MAGAts, see Obama as nothing less than the virtual incarnation of Satan himself, for his “crime” of daring to be America’s only Black president, who unlike Trump, still remains as popular as when he inhabited the office, if not more so now.

The chutzpah of this guy, am I right?

Interestingly, unlike Trump whose administration was rocked by scandals both minuscule and massive, Obama never seemed to suffer the slings and arrows of misfortune as Trump so consistently did. This curious fact might have something to do with the datum that while Trump saw the White House as nothing more than a non-gilded and egotistical version of his Mar-a-Lago enclave, Obama viewed it as the people’s house instead, and treated it as such.

MAGAts for their part, are quite fond of maligning Trump’s validated detractors as “suffering from TDS”, [AKA: “Trump Derangement Syndrome”] while hypocritically dismissing the reality that they’re STILL whining about Obama, Hillary Clinton, and their 2020 election loss years after says topics were relevant, but when a political movement keeps beating an obviously dead horse into dust, as Trump and his slavish cult have been doing since day one of their collective existence, the inherent irony that such manifests, kind of handles itself.

However, I do actually understand just why these whining Wampeters, the lowest echelon of Trumpism’s false karass, act in the manner in which they do, and it’s ever so simple, no matter how you, or more accurately the MAGA faithful, choose to deliberately overlook it.

The Alt-Wrong needed a champion, was sold the idea of finally having found one that was beyond all questioning reproach, and when inevitably faced with the foreseeable sense of buyer’s remorse, opted instead to remedy the obvious flaws of its dripping in snake-oil purchase, by ignoring the ethical discomfort caused by their unabashedly following the ever-increasingly insane whims of a modern-day Aerys Targaryen.

Despite what you may think, this actually does make sense of some limited sort, as all of us at one point or another in our lives, have bought wholeheartedly into some undulated bullshit, albeit societal, political, or the once unshakeable belief that Highlander 2 was going to be a good movie prior to its unfortunate release. And honestly? There’s no shame in that. As I said, it has happened to all of us, regardless of our stature or intelligence.

Regardless, MAGAts faith that as corrupt as their guy most certainly is, that they’ll be able to project his multitude of sins unto others, remains a stalwart cornerstone within this moronic MAGA mob. Hilarious though, that the rabble that took such delight in taunting Hillary Clinton by screaming “Lock her up!” at their Nuremburg-on-the-half-wit rallies, have only experienced the embarrassment of watching their icons fall to the virtuous axe of Justice, instead.

Weird that, huh? It’s almost as if blatantly unchecked corruption and abuse of governing power, was considered to be somewhat problematic for those who unlike the modern-day GQP, actually still believe in the concept of rightfully applied law and order. A concept that the GQP has pathetically weaponized in order to attack those who exposed their party as the greasy-thumbed lying shills that they truly are.

Case in point, this classic display of ODS, AKA; “Obama Derangement Syndrome”:

Now, this is a severe case of the pot calling the kettle Mango, is it not? Fore I just have to wonder of Trump’s rabidly stupid followers found themselves richer or far poorer after his incompetent reign. Especially when you take into consideration this interesting little factoid, that I’m sure Catinari was going to openly discuss when he had the time to adequately do so:

Strangely however, I do get the feeling that much like Trump’s adultery, his history of graft, the reciting of fabricated events and interactions with imaginary crying people, and his attempted coup to retain a power that he never deserved, this particular detail will go unchallenged, as his way when he’s confronted with his own hypocrisy.

But rest assured, I was more than happy to correct his attitude in regards to his ignorance:

As expected, Catinari’s weak as fuck retort, while light on facts, was heavy on the deflection and grade-school insults, but to be fair, what else could he possibly present as a defense in their stead, given the fact that he had nothing of substance to work with? Note that despite being presented easily found and verifiable knowledge, not only couldn’t he challenge it, he also couldn’t disprove it, either:

And in a move that everybody knew was coming, his response (still free of evidentiary proof) got even dumber, as he threw in a new twist on a commonly held belief among the MAGAt faithful- that the gritting, serial-lying, money-grubbing, and possible money launderer that is Donald J Trump, had “divested” himself from all of his businesses. Because as we all know by now, he’s just fanatic about the ethics.

Now, while Trump did declare that he was “turning over complete and total control to my sons,” in regards to running the vast Trump business empire, his assurances were met with a collective response of “Sure you are” due to the fact that while his attorney presented a six-page plan to shield the con man president from potential conflicts of interest, his press conference announcing such, had stacks of folders on a nearby table that Trump claimed were “evidence” of the preparations he had made to give over control of his businesses to his sons.

One small problem, though? Not only were the gathered reporters not allowed to look at any of these so-called documents contained within the multitude of folders hiding them from public view, embarrassingly, the pages that were visible, appeared to be 100% blank. Meaning that, there was no definable presence of the pages ever having been numbered, nor were there any of the expected sticky notes that lawyers tend to use as page markers in large documents as well.

Adding to the belief of the illegitimacy of these poorly manufactured red herrings, the paper within said folders, also appeared to be of the wrong size, printed on the standard A4 sheet, rather than the normally associated legal size, and in one last pathetically obvious gaffe, the supposed folders themselves, were oddly free of description labels as well, despite Trump inferring that each of them was uniquely correlated with a dissimilar business.

Speaking of this truly humiliating PR debacle, US Representative Jamie Raskin, D-Md., a member of the House oversight committee, said; “The president has turned the government of the United States into a money-making operation for his family, his friends and himself. This is a complete betrayal of the constitutional design.”

Nevertheless, when it came to making good on his promise to remain dissociated from his businesses, you, like I, might be wondering how tt all worked out in the end, and as it was a question that USA Today was curious about as well, the answer that they uncivered was par for the course for America’s taint:

But yeah, Gerry… his two sons, one being the living embodiment of a case of Red Bull  mating with a case of AXE body spray, and the other one representing the human analog of a short bus, did a “great job”. And because of that, we’ll just overlook the reality that he was caught lying AGAIN, and as usual, you just happily took it up your ass once more, as you always seem to do.

As you may have noticed, at no point within this thread, did Catinari ever produce one shred of evidence to bolster his claim that America’s first (and only) President of color was corrupt. Not one curiously vague tax return, as his mango man-child’s documentation tends to be, not one court-delivered verdict of graft, fraud, or illicit business practices, as Trump has garnered multiple times in his past, nor has there ever been any eyewitnesses to such, as well.

Normally, I would suggest that it must hurt like hell to be this stupid and not know that you are, but I’m starting to think that Catinari at this point, must find the pain associated with his ignorance akin to a hand-job from porn legend Nina Hartley in her prime. And as I once had the pleasure of talking to her at the AVN Awards in Las Vegas, I can assure you, given her description over dinner regarding her favored technique, that analogy is way more apt than you might think.

As I close out this latest of screeds, I’m reminded of the words of James Madison, fourth president of the United States [from 1809 to 1817] who once observed that; “Knowledge will forever govern ignorance; and a people who mean to be their own governors must arm themselves with the power which knowledge gives”, a declaration of truth that quite sadly, will never find itself applied to the likes of Catinari, no matter how much he may believe it actually does.

And it’s not for the reasons that you may think. Catinari, a man I consider and hopefully have proven to be the possessor of an intellect comparable to that of a baked potato, does know the truth. He knows what he says (and posts) are either outright fabrications or cherry-picked sound bites, he knows who the real criminals are, and he most certainly beyond a doubt, knows just where the actual threat to our revered democracy actually lies- within himself and within his party. This he knows. And he couldn’t care less.

However, he also doesn’t like being reminded of that, and as such realities vex his fragile ego, eventually decided to block me from his Facebook page, as all true warriors for America are known to do when challenged. I’m not sure why that is, but I can only guess that it gives them the extra time that they need to work on seducing their sister, or something along those lines.

When I first introduced you all to the village-seeking-idiot that is Catinari on his finest days, I did so thusly: “This barely sentient, deception-huffing, cowardice-channeling, knuckle-dragging shell of amalgamated human pudding skin and hubris, has it all. And when I say that, I most certainly mean it. Let’s run down the ol’ ideologically Conservative bingo card, shall we? Conspiracy theories galore? The Illuminati says yes. Racist diatribes? Got that white. Anti-LGBTQ sentiments? No friends of Dorothy here.

And don’t you worry, we’ve got the standard misogyny, political ignorance, infantile paranoia propagandist news “sources” and the implied threat of Alt-Wrong valence as well to balance out the metaphorical deck, because if you’re going to be a walking stereotype, you might as well go all the way in, right up to that sewer pipe you wittily call a neck.”

These words, written in part one of this screed quatrain, are still ones I proudly stand by, and if anything, they ring truer today than when I first wrote them. Granted, that’s a lot of flowery words to use when the phrase “He’s a fucking moron” would have covered the point just as well, but I do like to expand upon my theorems with just a touch of elegant literary wordplay, every now and then.

But the fact remains nevertheless, that Catinari IS a fucking moron, and his own openly posted for the public to see words and memes helped me prove it. Thanks for doing the heavy lifting Gerry- it is truly appreciated. So therefore, I’ll end on one of the last exchanges that Catinari and I had just before he took the cowards way out and blocked me, rather than try to best me using a fact-based salvo to win the proverbial day.

Once again, Catinari, ever the pragmatist, reaches down deep into his soul, and pulls back up to the light, an attempted insult akin to that of a kindergartner, or at the very least, his political and emotional IQ.

Either way, it’s still on brand for the likes of him, but even so, I was still kind of disappointed by it in the end..In that regard, I’m probably similar to his Mom, who only realized just what she had spawned when he started babbling nonsense as a baby, and for whatever reason, decided to continue this unfortunate practice, well into the advanced age that he is now.

William Shakespeare once wrote that;  “A coward dies a thousand times before his death, but the valiant taste of death but once”, and it’s an adage that I place full stock in. And if it actually is true, then I can only conjecture that Catinari may be the closest thing that the GQP has ever had to possessing among its fetid and pathetic ranks, an allegorical Connor MacLeod. “There can be only one”, the Highlander once said.

But I had no idea that it would be this mentally damaged when it arrived, and full of chickenshit, to boot..


“Can’t you see that I’m only advising you to beg yourself not to be so dumb?” –Petronius, The Satyricon

The Art of Gerry-slandering. Pt.3 (Pay no attention to the meme behind the blurtin’)

“You are not entitled to your opinion. You are entitled to your informed opinion. No one is entitled to be ignorant.” – Harlan Ellison

Greetings, Bitchiteers!

Is it not a glorious time to be had during this, the second golden age of Willful Ignorance?  Normally, I would say that it is not, but to be honest, it’s been kind of satisfying watching the cleaving of the actually intelligent far and away from the cult of dimwitted demagogues, that masquerades as the modern-day GQP.

These Dunning-Kruger disciples, seemingly intent on turning America into an intolerant Fatherland for the sake of conciliating the whims of a14K-plated wannabe Fuhrer, have revealed their true colors over the last few years, to the delight of its Alt-Wrong sympathizers, and the concerns of the verifiably sane. Regardless of the aftereffects, these malcontents view no slur as being too abominable, no outrage too minor not to act out upon, and mist certainly, no conspiracy theory far too unhinged for them to happily, if not unquestionably, regurgitate.

Sociopaths are outwardly the number one exported commodity of the former Party of Reagan these days, although to be fair, he was the one that started that trend with the permissible introduction io the so-called “Moral Majority” into what was then, the still relatively conventional allegorical bloodstream of American politics. And thanks to this dire miscalculation in the calculation of acquired influence, this is what we have now;

A cult of puerile personality, far removed from Reagan’s almost naive 1980’s Election Eve belief that; “Americans, who have always known that excessive bureaucracy is the enemy of excellence and compassion, want a change in public life—a change that makes government work for people. They seek a vision of a better America, a vision of society that frees the energies and ingenuity of our people while it extends compassion to the lonely, the desperate, and the forgotten.”

I say “naïve”, because does any part of that now iconic speech, truly reflect what the GQP has knowingly allowed itself to become under the treasonous tutelage of Trump? If you’re somehow missing the inference io my query, compare what you knew about today’s Conservative movement political platform, versus this one [condensed for succinctness] from 1976:


1976 Republican Platform: Equal Rights and Ending Discrimination

Women: “Women, who comprise a numerical majority of the population, have been denied a just portion of our nation’s rights and opportunities. We reaffirm our pledge to work to eliminate discrimination in all areas for reasons of race, color, national origin, age, creed or sex and to enforce vigorously laws guaranteeing women equal rights.”

This assertion BTW, also included a declaration of support for the ERA, as well as the declaration that; “The Republican Party favors a continuance of the public dialogue on abortion and supports the efforts of those who seek enactment of a constitutional amendment to restore protection of the right to life for unborn children.”

Ethnic Americans: “Ethnic Americans: have enriched this nation with their hard work, self-reliance and respect for the rights and needs of others. Ethnic groups reaching our shores at various times have given our country its unique identity and strength among the nations of the world. We recognize and value the contributions of Ethnic Americans to our free and democratic society.”

Hispanic-Americans: “When language is a cause of discrimination, there must be an intensive educational effort to enable Spanish-speaking students to become fully proficient in English while maintaining their own language and cultural heritage. Hispanic-Americans must not be treated as second-class citizens in schools, employment or any other aspect of life just because English is not their first language. Hispanic-Americans truly believe that individual integrity must be paramount; what they want most from government and politics is the opportunity to participate fully. The Republican Party has and always will offer this opportunity.”

Responsibilities: “Finally, the most basic principle of all: Achievement and preservation of human rights in our society is based on the willing acceptance by millions of Americans of their responsibilities as free citizens. Instead of viewing government programs with ever increasing expectations, we must readily assume the obligations of wage-earners, taxpayers and supporters of our government and laws. This is often forgotten, and so it is appropriate to remind ourselves in this Platform that this is why our society works”


Now, let’s take a moment to be brutally honest here; does ANY OF THIS, sound like the party that’s currently banning books, legislating the removal of Ethnic American studies from school classrooms, and why misogynistically, stripped away women’s body autonomy?  And that’s not even factoring in their enacting numerous anti-LGBTQ measures, Islamophobic paranoia, scientific ignorance, and dedication to propagating gratuitous conspiracy theories, over that of verified common sense.

The Grand Old Party of yesteryear, has metastasized into the Griping QAnon Party, and the effects of such have been catastrophic, to say the very least. As I’ve often written, Trumpism is a symptom of the cancerous malignancy that inflicts itself upon us, and not the root cause of the sickness itself. The long-held idea that the sickness can be cured by cutting off its head is flawed on many levels, as the ailment of Conservatism resides not only in the allegorical heart of this country, but its all-too-real soul as well.

You require proof, I see. Presented to you now, a small slice of what I was just talking about, via the posted lunacy of disingenuous loon, steadfast Trumoanzee, and former Artbitch scratching post, Debbie Nowicki Harshbarger.

Well… she seems… um, “nice”, if not 100% entirely “sane”, am I right?

I particularly enjoy her misspellings that actually are proven correct in their context, albeit inadvertently. For instance; “BIDEN IS RUNNING THE COUNTRY ON PURPOSE”. Yes, he is Debbie. Yes, he is. Because that’s how elections actually work, you dimwitted dipshit. Nevertheless, I remain hopeful for the day when you discover punctuation, and then with a bit of luck, learn to correctly apply it.

For the life of me, I have no idea why Conservatives are so unfairly slurred as being batshit crazy these days, can you? Truly, a mystery for the Ages.

What isn’t however, is the fact that despite her penchant for ranting using the conduit of all-caps ranting, “No-wits-ki’s” only worth here, is in the accreditation of the general public’s certainty that the Cult of 45 is incapable of rational thought, correct spelling [it’s actually “Elitist”, BTW] and being able to distinguish Realty from Fantasy, even on the best of their days.

But when it comes to displaying the most virulently fetid of Conservative ichor, this isn’t even her best rage-inducing shot as of late. However, this just may be, and it’s as stupid as it is detestable:

Conservatism, everyone. The place where empathy, sympathy, tolerance, understanding, and basic humanity, find themselves choking to death on the bile produced by hateful ideology. Say what you will about the steadfast members of the Alt-Wrong philosophies, they never run out of scapegoats to dually demonize and dehumanize, now do they? I’m almost jealous actually, by the amount of free time that these cultists have managed to clear in order to seemingly hate everyone and everything under the sun.

And I say this as someone who has to routinely both dust and organize his collection of Star Wars toys. Everybody always says that they want 10 lightsabers and 5 Millennium Falcons, until they have to actually maintain them.

Seriously. Can you imagine being so pathetically afraid of the world entire as it exists, that you had to go and adopt a creed based in and on Trans/Homophobia, misogyny, racism, xenophobia, Islamophobia, as well as paranoid fever-dreams, just so you can cope successfully with what tends to be your average day?

Envision dually if you would, just how mentally cracked you’d have to be, both intellectually and humanistically, to post the following, and yet remain unwaveringly secure in your specious belief that you were in the right:

And as for “The Enemy Within” that Hershberger so disgustingly alludes to, via her undisguised bigotry, I’d point out that such an assertion comes straight out of the metaphorical mouth of a person who has willingly aligned themselves with a treasonous man-child who regards himself as being above both the validity of cultural censure, and overdue consequence, so maybe this seditious slattern should just sit the fuck down, and shut the fuck up.

These are just two minor samplings of the unhinged and wholly un-American idiocy that the GQP has in tandem, attracted if not overdeveloped, but the fault for such propagation, does not rest on their sloping brows alone. We on the so-called Left, bear some of the responsivity for this miasma of abhorrent mendacity to flourish as it has, and its far past the time when we should have acknowledged it.

We let the seed take root, we inadvertently gave it the fodder by declaring that everybody deserved the same, and then when it started to grow both rampantly and chaotically, we tried and spectacularly failed to understand why it was doing so. Cauterizing it at its original source with allegorical fire, as well as literal, was the way we should have dealt with it once we realized its malevolence, and sadly to this day, the scorched-earth approach that we should be undertaking, has not been enacted…. yet.

The same however, cannot be said about our political adversaries though, as the abominable events f January sixth, so clearly attest. If there is a singular difference that we can boil current events down to, it’s the fact that unlike the Left, the Alt-Wrong isn’t concerned with the resultant fallout from cracking skulls, albeit literally or metaphorically. And some it seems, are hoping to go even willingly further:

This is where we find ourselves, Ladies and Gentlemen- walking among fucking loons who want nothing more than an opportunity to “me up” with the people that they dislike, and roll the dice on the weak-ass hope that for once, the legalities swing in their favor, if they ever find themselves gifted with the tactical advantage to mete out the justice that they themselves, feel that they have been fraudulently subjected to.

Now, while I do have a wide range of source material concerning people like this Neocon wackadoo, some of whom I’ve been more than happy to notify the proper authorities about, today’s returning screed subject, one Gerry Catinari, isn’t outwardly violent, so much as he is externally idiotic. I’ve owned lawn furniture smarter than this twunt, and my stuff originally came from Walmart.

This opinion of mine, reinforced by my use of Catinari’s own words over the course of two prior forays into the mentally-challenged sewer that serves as his puerile psyche, is indicative of a larger societal problem: that being the reassurance of a collective ignorance, may be far more dangerous to this country as a whole, rather than the targeted threat formerly posed by any one entity purposely intent on doing evil for the sake of doing so.

Houston, we’ve found the Enemy, and it may just be us. Well, the Conservatives anyway, and even worse, we discovered that the not only is the call coming from inside the house, the Enemy is calling us collect.

Take for example, this on-brand assault on the LGBTQ Community in general, by a man who while decrying the act of homosexual sex occurring between two consenting adults as being disgustingly unnatural, seems to spend an inordinate amount of time thinking about it far more than the people who are actually engaging in it. I’m sure there’s nothing latent to unpack there whatsoever, and if there is, it’s probably better not to think about it for too long, as Catinari already has that base well-covered:

Answer me a question, if you can: why is it, that the people who always crow loudest about wanting to “protect “our” children” from science, actual American history, library books, abortion access, “woke” companies, and the surmised horrors of the Drag Queen story hour, have ZERO interest in protecting them from the validity of gun violence, enforced teenage pregnancy, the practice of child marriage, the rise of Right-wing fascism, child abuse, crushing poverty, homelessness, and the scourge of starvation?

Questions for another time, I guess. Thoughts and prayers, and all that, until the next time when they’re required not to do a goddamn fucking thing that actually helps. You know, just like the mythical God doesn’t?

I’ve said it before, and allegorical Him as my witness, I know I will have to say it again, but the only people “grooming” your children for nefarious purposes my nattering Neocons, are [according to statistics] straight White males such as yourselves. Not Gay men. Or Lesbians. Or Transpeople of any notation.

In short, [too late] take care of your own Matt Gaetz’s and Jim Jordan’s, before you start inventing imaginary ones on our side of the fence, and when you’re done avoiding doing that, feel free to fuck off in whatever direction that you choose, and leave the people who have done nothing to you, the hell alone for once.

Of course, that’s far easier said than done when Conservatives get a new scapegoat chew-toy to run around half-crazed with, and as it tends to be when you’re the aggressor in a situation that requires one not, self-aggrandization is key to maintaining the veracity you necessitate, to justify your unnecessary crusade against the previously marginalized, who at their so-called “worst”, are just trying to live their best life:

Oh look, everybody- the people who constantly refer to their adversaries as “Snowflakes”, “Woke Warriors”, “Soy Boys”, and “Cucks”, are miffed at the fact that they’ve been asked ever so nicely, to be socially polite in public, yet again. Maybe we should, as a compassionate gesture, ask them all just where exactly on the Internet, that those nasty pronouns touched them ever so inappropriately.

Naturally, I just had to point out the flaws in Catinari’s “thinking”, as is my way:

Now, some of you out there might be thinking that this is a cheap shot, or perhaps even a “low blow”, as the nomenclature goes, but I assure you that it’s not, as I seriously believe that given these postings, Catinari may actually be subconsciously looking for one to begin with. I’m joking of course, as I couldn’t see any cultured Gay person finding Catinari intellectually attractive enough to engage with, in the first place, but c’est la vie.

But a scapegoat once unearthed, must be utilized, even if its only purpose, is to serve as a convenient prop within the blatant attempt to mewingly claim to no avail, the unwarranted mantle of directly affected victimhood:

What this post is referring to, was a limited decision by a few select HNL players who refused to wear a uniform shirt promoting “gay pride”, for ONE GAME citing an anti-gay Kremlin law that could imperil Russian athletes currently playing in the US, when they return home. Given Putin’s penchant for tossing people who displease him out of windows, this explanation in regards to the Russian athletes at least, does pass the allegorical taste test.

However, it does not apply to the other players refusals, none of whom BTW, have been or were faced with the threat of being fired for refusing to do so, as Catinari’s meme so deceitfully claims.

In fact, brothers Eric and Marc Staal, who play for the Florida Panthers, cited religious beliefs as the reason for their shunning of the garment, saying that; “We carry no judgement on how people choose to live their lives, and believe that all people should be welcome in all aspects of the game of hockey,.Having said that, we feel that by us wearing a Pride jersey it goes against our Christian beliefs.”

Well, would you look at that- they won’t wear a shirt promoting the veracity of an inclusive community, due to their cherry-picked belief in a mythical and sociopathic Sky-daddy, but we as a rule, must respect same said hypocritical magical thinking, without question or commentary? Yup. That makes sense. After all, we most certainly wouldn’t want to offend the shittiest office manager in recorded history, now would we?

However, when it comes to acts of hypocrisy, Catinari is d=definitely among his peers, who, despite their whimpering degradation of what they see as “cancel culture”, seemingly have no problem engaging in it, at the drop of a red hat. And one of their favorite sources for fueling their faux outrage, is the abstracted idea of companies both large and small, becoming want they consider to be “Woke”, which in MAGA Land, is supposedly the worst slur that one can attach to any person, corporation, or cause.

But what does this purported insult actually mean?

Well, from the Leftist POV, it’s an adjective of positivity, derived from African-American culture connotating that a person is aware of the inherent societal discrimination relating to one’s race, gender, sexual orientation, initial country of origin, or the latest red-meat whistle for Conservatives, the concept of Transsexualism and Gender Identity, and/or Gender Fluidity.

You know, the qualities that aren’t supposed to determine just how much respect that you grant to people?

But this trifle of an irritating realty aside, what it means to the Alt-Wrong, is far different. For in their POV, “woke” is indicative of a person or persons, who due to their ideology being progressive, are nothing more than obsessionally insincere virtue signalers, intent on indoctrinating the naive and the unwilling to their perverse way of thinking, centered on the belief that everyone is equal, even though they know beyond all rational reproach that such an idea, is absurdity itself.

And yes, I did have a thing or two to say about it, as usual:

Interesting isn’t it, that despite their being allegedly against all forms of virtue-signaling regardless of its validity, nobody reacts more petulantly to actual reality than the Alt-Wrong does?  Take for instance, this particularly petty post, whining about yet another non-issue that affects no one save for the thin -skinned

This inconsequential mewling, is referencing the Hershey company’s decision to feature Fae Johnstone, a transgender woman and founder of the consulting firm Wisdom2Action, as part of their “Her for She” national promotion campaign that featured five prominent social activists pictured on candy wrappers:

The advertising campaign, set up to coincide with International Women’s Day, also infuriatingly meshed with Hershey surmised wokeness, resulting in the promise of an at least $30,000 corporate donation to the United Nations-backed gender justice group “Girl Up”, which of course, has set the histrionic hackles of Neocons alight, despite the fact that if they don’t like said idea, they could just not buy the candy itself.

Nut hey, faux outrage is far more profitable than common decency, so I guess I can’t be too surprised about such inanity. For those of you who may be unaware, the “Daily Wire” is an American conservative news website and media company founded by false news icon Ben Shapiro and “film director” Jeremy Boreing. The reason why Boreing’s occupation is in quotes, is because calling him a film director, is akin to calling me a well-respected novelist.

At this point in time, Boreing has directed only ONE so-called film, that being a 2014 short known as “The Arroyo”. Yeah… I’ve never heard of it either, His other great “successes” include being the producer of “Shut In”, a film that has never been seen outside of the Daily Wire’s streaming platform, and “Terror on the Prairie”, which only grossed $804 during its one-day theatrical run. Two obscure films that much like his “Arroyo” project, I never even knew existed.

I guess being anti-woke also means that you never have to worry about dealing with NETFLIX-level brand name recognition. However, where DW’s pathetic political posturing really falls apart, is when it takes a so-called stand against companies that dare promote cultural inclusivity and/or racial diversity, such as Harry’s Razors who pulled all their advertising with DW due to what they claimed was a “values misalignment” issue, despite being g a sold advertiser of DW’s for years.

New, if you were the CEO of a normal company, you’d probably just say “good riddance” and leave it at that. But as we’ve all seen Neocons are sociopathic children at best, and therefore DW’s corporate Twitter response to the cancellation, was as well: “A year ago, Harry’s Razors advertised on our shows. But then, they pulled their ads due to “values misalignment”. Introducing Jeremy’s Razors. Stop giving your money to woke corporations that hate you. Give it to the god-king- Daily Wire (@realDailyWire) March 22, 2022”

Let me get this straight Jeremy: you started up a razor blade company, because you got ever so callously dumped by one? That would be akin to me launching an escort service, based on the fact that my ex had more multiple acts of sexual transgression than a Catholic priest left unsupervised at a Boy Scout Jamboree.

Seriously, dude… go have a lost weekend in Vegas like a normal person, and get the fuck over it, you snowflake.

But it gets even goddamn stupider if such a thing is possible, and as a Conservative cuck is involved, you know that it is, for after blasting DW’s not too uncommon business decision all over Alt-Wrong media, he aired an absurd commercial in which he torches a pack of Harry’s Razors with a flamethrower…

… proved the theorem that no amount of money and paid escorts, can make you look like less of a douche…

and then, in a pathetic attempt to certify his self-declared “God King” status, this involuntary incel wraps it all up by presenting himself ever so smugly, as a man of both power and earned respect, securely seated on a throne bizarrely replete with an American bald eagle as well as compliant lackeys, sitting by his side:

Call me overly critical, but if there ever was an advertising campaign that conceptually screamed; “My dick is so small, my urologist needs the combined forces of both a cryogenic electron microscope and a speculum to find it”, this is definitely the one taking the dishonorable trophy home to Mama.

What I do find strangest of all though, is that Boreing just so happens to be five-foot-nine, and yet, carries the persecution complex of a recently fired five-foot-two boom-mike operator, because he also felt the need to start his own candy bar company as well, after the horror of being made aware that not only do Transpeople actually exist, they occasionally deserve and garner some respect, every now and then.

Boreing tweeted in response to the bar’s rollout; “This is how we win the culture war. Make an alternative product and sell it. Don’t buy stuff from companies that hate you.”  Yes, Jeremy. It’s a far better idea to buy from those companies that only hate particularly specific people instead, say such as the KKK, whom ’ve heard, can offer a person like you some truly smoking deals during their 3AM BBQ white sales.

The chocolate bars, were introduced by Boreing with the typical “humor” that Conservatives find so clever, as they believe that it causes Liberals to cry when they hear it: “Fine. I’ll do it. Introducing Jeremy’s Chocolate. Yes, it’s real. We have two kinds: HeHim and SheHer. One of them has nuts. If you need me to tell you which one, keep buying Hersheys. But if you know what a woman is and love chocolate, go to: [RETRACTED]”

Not to be outdone, DW’s other black pill pharmacist Ben Shapiro, added to this already voluminous pile of cuck-cringe by putting in his two cents regarding the related topic of M&M’s announcing the release of limited edition candy packages containing only the “female” [Green, Brown, and Purple] characters inside. Shapiro, who much like his fellow candy-ass warrior Tucker Carlson, seems to have forgotten just what the words “fictional cartoon character” and “limited-edition” mean, then took the time to embarrass himself in public by saying;

“Women, do you feel represented now because of the green, purple, and brown M&Ms? On the M&M package that you’re guzzling down lonely in your apartment with your wine and your cats? How’s that going for you?  Also, do not ask the female M&Ms for directions. It’s just not gonna go particularly well. If it’s an all-female M&M, I assume that it costs 77 cents on the dollar of what the regular M&M’s would cost, right?”

Oh Benny, your misogynistic cards presentation aside. the evidence that your crawlspace is approaching full capacity with the remnants of overly trussing hitchhikers, just gets stronger as Time marches on, does it not?

Now to be fair, Liberals do cry at stuff like this, but it’s not from the anger of its very existence, so much as it is from the knowledge that those rubes who launch ineffective boycotts targeting “woke” companies, place faith in the falsehood that they’re doing anything more than being willing marks for snake-oil salesmen such as Boreing, who milk them dry, using their own sense of manufactured rage to do so.

And what I mean by this, is that while Hershey’s sells it’s 1.55 oz bar [on average] for about $1,24 at your local Walmart, Jeremy’s Chocolates retails their 1.5 oz bar for roughly SIX DOLLARS each, I won’t speak for you of course, but I for one, am humbled at being in the peripheral presence of such a brilliant adversary. Especially one that’s stuffed full of both hateful bile and overpriced cacao beans.

Only the best of steadfast allies and noble causes for you to get behind, Gerry. You certainly know how to pick from the underside of the bottom of the barrel, let me tell you. Nevertheless, Catinari does have a warning he wishes to share with us all in relation to the dangers of the virulently and defiantly woke, and it is this:

Read that quote again. And consider the source material that it came from, as you do.

Catinari here, has cited without any sense of irony, George Orwell’s seminal classic “1984, which is a novel that follows the life of Winston Smith, a low-ranking member of ‘the Party’, who finds himself increasingly dissatisfied living within the confines of a dystopian society overseen by the omnipresent influence of the party, and its ominous ruler “Big Brother”, who for all intents and purposes, controls every aspect of people’s lives.

Now, which American political party does that sound like? Is it the party that not only openly supports Gay marriage and incorporated it into being the law of the land as well, or is it the party that slurs its participants as being immorally perverse, and still challenges its veracity to this very day? Is it the party that wants people to have subsidized (“free”) Healthcare and affordable college, or is it the party that fights against such, because of … um… “reasons”, I guess?

Is it the party that encourages access to information for its citizens via the institutions of public libraries and schools, or is it the party that like its counterpart in “1984”, bans and burn books, instead? Is it the party that mewls about “protecting the Children”, but won’t do or try a goddamn thing to keep guns out of their schools, put food on their tables, or provide an accessible path to lift their families out of inherent income inequality?  

Is it the party that wants equality in the area of personal body autonomy, or is it the party that engages in the supreme hypocrisy of stripping away the same from women alone, as it continues to slanderously demonize single mothers as whores for making the decision to have those kids that they always claim that they want to “save”.?      

And finally, is it the party that wants sex-ed taught in its schools so that when children grow up to be adults, they’ll have the crucial information necessary to make good choices regarding family planning, or the party attempting to pass laws that force those same said children, to birth the progeny of rape and incest?

Read that quote again. And this time, consider the level of willing ignorance of the person that it came from, as you do, because he’s an absolutely disgusting hypocrite, as well as being the most misinformed of morons.

As you just read, there was a smattering of misogyny running through that last section, despite the actual topic being focused upon the miasma of anti-LGBTQ vexation being part of the GQP’s so-called values, but the two are intricately linked at the molecular level, nevertheless. For as much as Neocons display contempt towards the Gay subculture, they unquestionably despise women in general, that much more, as this sexist tripe certifies:

That’s right ladies, the party that won’t allow you to control what happens with your own reproductive system, wants to let you all knew with superlative and unasked for assurance, that if a man pays the majority of the bills, you unarguably “owe him box”, which when given all of the numerous slang terms for a vagina that are available for use, calling it such, presents itself almost as a charming throwback, doesn’t it?

Mythical Christ on a cracker, this just may be the vilest incel turn of phrase for saying “Close your mouth, and open your legs”, that I have ever heard, and up until now, this was the main competition for the title:

The nerve of this successful and financially secure woman, thinking she has the right to be both childless and publicly display her happiness about being so! If this sort of non-masculine-approved free-thinking takes root, other woman might just start getting all kinds of unhealthy ideas concerning other previously held norms, that they once knew better than to question.

Such as say… asking for equal pay in sports, perhaps?

This is an arena wherein Catinari’s misogyny has come out to play, if you’ll pardon the pun, and in the previous incident that I wrote about [ AB Archive: March 13, 2023] his ire was directed at United States Women’s National Team star, Megan Rapinoe. Catinari, because he has the mental capacity of a petulant child, had posted a meme suggesting that Team Canada was taking spiteful glee in the fact that they had “kicked the ass” of Rapinoe and her fellow American team members:

You know, just the way a true America-worshiping “Patriot” would?

And why did he do this, you ask? Well, as it turns out, Rapinoe is a [GASP!] proudly out Lesbian, a candid [GASP!] advocate for LGTBQ civil rights, and a high-profile professional athlete, who spoke out [GASP!] about the noticeably large bonus pay inequity between male and female teams. To note, the women’s team would have received a $110,000 bonus for winning the 2019 World Cup; whereas men for winning the same, would have been awarded $407,000 had they won in 2018.

Fir Catinari, that alone would have been enough for him to slur a person he had zero issue with until the faux news that he watches told him to acquire some, but Rapinoe went one step further than his anti-woman, anti-lesbian, anti-minority self could ever accept, by not only publicly showing support for still blacklisted NFL star Colin Kaepernick by taking a knee, but by doing so during the national anthem, no less,

A song that I can assure you, Catinari neither knows all the words to, nor even acknowledges, when he’s sitting on his hateful ass watching a game at home. But do you also know what Rapinoe is also known and widely respected for?

She’s a three-time Olympian [2012, 2016, 2020] a two-time winner of the Women’s World Cup [2015 and 2019] the Fédération Internationale de Football Association 2019’s Women’s Player of the and a person who was designated by Time Magazine, as one of the most influential people of 2020, to boot.  And did I forget to mention, that she’s also the only female soccer player in American History to be awarded the Presidential Medal of Freedom, the nation’s highest civilian honor, as well?

I can only guess all of these accomplishments skipped Catinari’s already over-taxed mind, because he was so already obviously mentally distracted by Rapinoe’s chosen hair color. Well, that and the fact that as a Disciple of Dipshittery, being offended by things that don’t affect him, takes up most of his free time. Well, that and posting memes more appropriate to a brotard in his early 20’s, rather than a supposed “mature” man in his 70’s:

Anyone else just upchuck in their mouth a little bit?

Apparently ladies, Grandpa wants to give you a ride, and sadly, I’m pretty sure that’s not just a risqué metaphor this time around. But all that creepiness aside, it’s fairly obvious that Catinari has nothing but respect for women, but only as long as they’re quiet, compliant, and apparently, easily sexually swayed by his choice of truck manufacturer.

Normally, this would be the part where I make an accurately crude joke about a particular someone’s last two girlfriends arriving in a discretely-addressed box with an air pump and a patch kit as standard accessories, but not this time. After all, I wouldn’t want to mock just how same implied someone finds true love, much less spends his disposable income. Especially when his speciously-chosen hypocrisy, is so gloriously ripe for the picking.

To clarify: in 2011, the State Department cleared the way for a group of American defense contractors led by the Boeing Company, to make good on their deliverance of fighter jets to Saudi Arabia, despite valid apprehensions over the kingdom’s abominable record in relation to human rights, IE: women’s personal autonomy being just one of the numerous and worrisome factors involved.

Now, I’m not gonna mince words here, as the implications behind the accusation declared within the meme above is serious, and as further investigation regarding the issue has certified, the number of traceable quirks regarding it, are somewhat highly suspicious at best.

The deal, worth a reported 29B, had a troubling underlayment to it, that being the fact that in the years prior to Clinton’s becoming the 67th United States Secretary of State, under President Barack Obama, from 2009-13, not only had Saudi Arabia previously donated $10M to the Clinton Foundation, but Boeing itself as it turned out, had done so as well, bestowing $900,000 to the same, a mere two months before the sale was concluded.

As a rule, I try not to talk out of school, but even I have to admit that this all sounds like an overly expedient coinky-dink. According to the report issued detailing the investigation undertaken by the International Business Times

… “As secretary of state, Hillary Clinton also accused some of these countries of failing to marshal a serious and sustained campaign to confront terrorism. In a December 2009 State Department cable published by Wikileaks, Clinton complained of “an ongoing challenge to persuade Saudi officials to treat terrorist financing emanating from Saudi Arabia as a strategic priority.”

   She declared that “Qatar’s overall level of CT cooperation with the U.S. is considered the worst in the region.” She said the Kuwaiti government was “less inclined to take action against Kuwait-based financiers and facilitators plotting attacks.” She noted that “UAE-based donors have provided financial support to a variety of terrorist groups.” All of these countries donated to the Clinton Foundation and received increased weapons export authorizations from the Clinton-run State Department…

    In all, governments and corporations involved in the arms deals approved by Clinton’s State Department have delivered between $54 million and $141 million to the Clinton Foundation as well as hundreds of thousands of dollars in payments to the Clinton family, according to foundation and State Department records.”

Well, this is interesting. Seems that Catinari and I are actually on the same page for once, because even I find this correlation to be highly suspicious, no matter how you look at it. And yet at no point during his admiration, did Catinari’s mango-man-crush demand an investigation into such coincidences, despite his consistent clarion call to “lock her up”: at almost every opportunity.

This struck me as being strange at first, given Trump’s incessant need to deflect attention away from his own misdeeds, but then I remembered this nugget of inconvenience whereas Catinari’s’ narrative is concerned, and it all made sense. Because while you can disingenuously accuse others of what you’ve willingly done yourself, you can’t really do so when your transgressions are far worse:

What this salacious headline is referring to, is the cold-blooded murder and subsequent dismemberment of American resident journalist Jamal Khashoggi, that occurred within the walls of the Saudi consulate located in Istanbul, in October of 2018.

Ostensibly committed by a “rogue” 15-man hit squad, the abominable act was supposedly in retaliation for Khashoggi‘s writing of a monthly column in the Washington Post, in which he routinely criticized the policies of Saudi Arabia’s current de facto ruler, Crown Prince Mohammed bin Salman. Trump, known for both his love of his authoritarianism as well as its puerile pract9cuoners, praised Salman at a press conference where he deliberately avoided answering questions about the killing, saying instead that;

“It’s an honor to be with the Crown Prince of Saudi Arabia, a friend of mine, a man who has really done things in the last five years in terms of opening up Saudi Arabia, And I think especially what you’ve done for women. I’m seeing what’s happening; it’s like a revolution in a very positive way. I want to just thank you on behalf of a lot of people, and I want to congratulate you. You’ve done, really, a spectacular job.”

Now, while Trump may feel that Salmin has done a “spectacular job” in his ordering the turning a fellow human being into inadvertent garden mulch, I personally feel that Catinari has gene one better, by accidentally overlooking on purpose, this further slice of hypocritically selective memory-recalling. As I notated earlier, I think the Clinton connection stinks to high heaven of under the table influence peddling, but if we’re going to have a discussion about that, then we most certainly, need to talk about this as well.

But whatever we eventually do, we must never feel free to point out that while the GQP themselves have always been lips-deep in the pockets of defense contractors, it’s still less morally acceptable for Liberals to accept money from such, as it is for the Neocons to do business with one of their top clients, who as a hobby, chops up dissidents for fun.

And as to Catinari’s taking faux offense at Clinton doing business with a country that “violates women’s rights”, he sure docent seem too upset at the concept of American women being stripped of their body autonomy, or the fact that to this day, they’re still paid less overall than men for doing the same comparable work, now does he? And let’s not forget either, that his champion is the guy who proudly said this:

But please Gerry, continue to impress us all with your inference that way down deep inside that putrid sewer that thinly masquerades as your soul, you’re actually the moist ardent of closeted feminists. For after all, who doesn’t enjoy a good laugh at the expense of the pathetically absurd, every new and then? Mythical Lord knows that I do.

Staying on theme, Catinari’s next foray into pretending that he gives a darn about the gender that the GQP regards and treats as tokens, breeding vessels, accessories, and inconvenient commodities, is this prime example of asinine anosognosia, concerning the alleged “anti-woman’; statements of CNN news anchor Don Lemon:

Yes… it’s CNN and the Democrats as well as Don Lemon, that have a “low opinion of women”. So says the, member of a party that openly slurs single mothers as parasites, feminists as man-hating lesbians, sexual-assault victims as unrepentant liars, and non-GQP female politicians as histrionic harpies, but please… carry on with your hypocrisy if you would be so kind, Gerry

I swear to allegorical God, that if Catinari ever has the need or the desire to engage in what I feel would be a highly profitable second career I’d suggest with all due seriousness that he open an orchard, because his cherry-picking skillset is top notch.

I say this, because the inference of this post is that Lemon has a long history of being misogynistic, while the truth of the matter is that he was tagged for a series of ignorant comments (remarks that he apologized for afterwards) regarding Presidential candidate Nimarata (AKA: “Nikki”) Haley.

Currently the age of 51, Haley “isn’t in her prime.” as described by Lemon, who topped off his shade-fest by adding the equally brain-dead statement that a woman is “considered to be in her prime in her 20s and 30s and maybe 40s.” Is this rude? Definitely. Is there a pattern akin to what the GQP leadership and its sycophants, have uttered about women?

Not even close, for as is well-known, Donald Trump is the king of these types of comments despite having all of the personal appeal and devastating charm that you would normally ascribe to an allegedly mushroom-dicked boiled ham sandwich, dipped in dime store bronzer and flop sweat.

Trump, ever the blissfully unaware demagogue, has referred to an African American congressperson (naturally) as an “extraordinarily low IQ person”, and has slurred other specific women as being “dogs’, “pigs”, ‘ugly”, “not hot”, “nasty”, “a crazed, crying lowlife”, “not beauty, by any stretch of the imagination.”, “bimbo”, and in one of the most possibly sexist comments ever, once described former FOX Newscaster Megyn Kelly in the following manner:

“She gets out and she starts asking me all sorts of ridiculous questions. You could see there was blood coming out of her eyes, blood coming out of her wherever,”, which just goes to prove that Trump’s intimate knowledge of the female menstrual cycle, is just as detailed as his knowledge of campaign finance laws.

Speaking of which…

Trump has also repeatedly described the eventual avenging angel of American Justice and porn star Stormy Daniels, as “Horseface”. Well as it turns out, in a stunning example of Karma hilariously biting one in their ever-expanding ass, his paying for her silence regarding his act of adultery,, is what ironically forced the tower of indictments finally toppling his way.:

So in the end, I guess old “Horseface” eventually got the last laugh, after all.  And at his expense, no less.

Nevertheless, as that expense just so happens to be the $130K he paid for what we all know was an unremarkable 90 seconds of sex, I guess it’s also safe to say that she had the first one, too. But Catinari isn’t throwing all of his bleached-blonde eggs into one deplorable basket, for here comes the aforementioned Megyn Kelly, to lend dubious credence to Catinari’s assertions regarding the “history” of Lemon’s misogyny:

Such claims have been dismissed by CNN as being “riddled with patently false anecdotes and no concrete evidence”, adding that said story was “entirely based on unsourced, unsubstantiated, 15-year-old anonymous gossip”. You know, the same sort of parameters that her old employer FOX, not only based their entire network on, but still seriously refers to as “exclusive news”?

However, in Kelly’s exceedingly. limited defense, she does know a thing or two about working among hardcore misogynists, given her 13-year tenure at FOX, which during her last year in its employ, paid out almost 50M to settle sexual harassment claims brought against several of its high-profile FOX associates. To her as equally limited credit, Kelly has since openly criticized FOX’s frat-house mentality, but only after making Shure she was safely established elsewhere before she did so.

Now this in and of itself, isn’t the point that I’m making here, but this instead: if Catinari was so offended and felt the need to offer a quantitate of proof regrading Lemon’s uncalled for comments, then why would he choose the one person whose fellow colleagues (such as Bill O’ Reilly) paid out millions to settle validated sexual-harassment cases? With all due respect, that’s like being charged with engaging in several acts of cannibalism, and then deciding to call in Jeffery Dahmer to serve as your main if not only, character witness.

Odd that Catinari wouldn’t mention the over a decade long misogynistic commentary that’s been presented to us all via courtesy of FOX’s Gauleiter of Babbling, Tucker Carlson, now, isn’t it? I’m sure that he was getting g around to it, but to be fair there’s quite the list to choose from, so maybe he just got overwhelmed by all the examples available to him, and just said ‘Fuck it”, in the end.

Take this 2009 statement, (broadcast live on the radio) where Carlson fantasied about teenagers at his daughter’s girls-only boarding school having sexual encounters with each other: “If it weren’t my daughter, I would love that scenario”, which of course is a normal thing to say about children, when you’re a middle-aged man, right?  Remind me again, which party it is that talks incessantly about the act of wanting to groom children, if you would, as I seem to have forgotten who that just may be.

Then there’s his ever so sensitive take on the abominable and dehumanizing act of rape: “If I’m alleging rape, I have the protection of anonymity. I can say whatever I want while hiding behind anonymity, while the person I accused, whether he’s guilty or not, has his life destroyed. That’s totally unfair … I mean, we’ve done a couple of shows on this, and we always had these feminists on who kind of, “Well, because no one would ever report rape.” Really? I don’t know. Women seem to be adults to me.”

Unsurprisingly, the depths of Carlson’s knuckle-dragging annotations go even lower than this, as he’s referred to the daughter of Martha Stewart, the TV show host Alexis Stewart, as “cunty.”, Hillary Clinton as being “anti-penis” and insisted that; “you know in your heart that if she could castrate you, she would”, and once depicted Britney Spears and Paris Hilton as “the biggest white whores in America”, apparently forgetting for that moment in time that Melania Trump hates competition.

Hilariously, and without a trace of irony, he’s also opined that he feels “sorry for unattractive women” much in the same way that we all collectively feel sorry that his therapist has to hear far too often, just how much he wants to fuck both the Green M&M and Sarah Palin. He’s also slurred Sex workers, claiming without cause that they are are “slutty and pathetic”, despite his party’s leaderships frequent use of such people, while degrading Women in general, as being  “extremely primitive”.

Class act all the way. No wonder he gets invited to all the cool parties that involve 3AM front-lawn BBQ’s. But there’s one last item floating atop Carlson’s cesspit of Caucasian cuckoldom, that being his publicly displayed stance of being arrogantly unrepentant in regards to what he said and ultimately, represented.

When these disgusting remarks along with scores more were made public by the Liberal watchdog concern Media Matters, Carlson took to the airwaves that he controlled, and snidely offered up the following non-apology: “Media Matters caught me saying something naughty on a radio show more than a decade ago. Rather than express the usual ritual contrition, how about this: I’m on television every weeknight live for an hour. If you want to know what I think, you can watch. Anyone who disagrees with my views is welcome to come on and explain why.”

A brave challenge that I can assure you, would never be honored if someone actually stooped low enough to dare pick up the proverbial gauntlet offered. As I declared earlier, I’m sure that Catinari was well on his way to highlight Carlson’s verified misogyny as well as the one allegedly borne by Lemon, but somehow found himself far too distracted to successfully do so.

In reference to things that get Catinari’s undivided attention, [such as it is] there’s no better analog for the red dot that cats love to chase, than his take on the construct of racial identity politics. In fact, it’s something that he really seems to adore, because it allows him to not only freely mix all of his favorite things into one steaming pile of ignorant ichor, it also gives him the ability to wallow in metaphorical merde, just like the racist pig he apparently wants to be regarded as:

What a revelation this… isn’t. Two African American men are murdered by power-tripping cops, and the only pertinent takeaway gnat we’re supposed to get from these race-based incidents, is that the cites themselves are democrat controlled? Once again, Catinari deliberately misses the goddamn blatantly obvious issue at hand, and does so not by miles, but by literal galaxies.  

Regular readers know that I’ve covered the murder of George Floyd by former police officer Derek Chauvin rather extensively in the past, so for the sake of my blood pressure I’m not going to rehash it, as such is readily available for perusal within the AB Archives, but I will address the slaying of Tyre Nichols, as its circumstances while similar in their horrific outcome, are a tad bit off the standardized charts.

In January of 2023, Nichols, a 29-year-old FedEx worker and father of a 4-year-old boy, was returning home from a local park where he had been taken photos of the sunset, when he was initially pulled over for an alleged act of reckless driving, according to the officers involved in the incident. Or so the Memphis Police Department claimed at the time. What am I inferring, you ask?

Well, as it turns out, when the MPD reviewed the officers body cam footage video clips as well as the video caught by a near-proximity nearby pole-mounted camera. MPD Police Chief Cerelyn “C. J.” Davis was forced to admit that the raw camera footage could not find or even ascertain, ANY evidence of defensible probable cause for officers to legally initiate the traffic stop to begin with.

In a further display of authoritarian abuse, the five officers involved pulled Nichols from his car, maced, tasered, and beat him, as if he were a piñata, as they screamed orders of compliance which due to their conflicting nature, caused the melee to ratchet up a notch when he failed to comply to their satisfaction. Body cam footage shows that from the tome Nichols was removed from his car, that Nichols was pulled from the car, officers concurrently issued a barrage of threats, invectives, and what has been described as “assaultive comments”.

At one point, Nichols managed to break free of his state-sanctioned attackers, and ran for his literal life. His fear clearly justified by the raw footage showing that one officer remarked that, “I hope they stomp his ass” in relation to the expected moment in time when the officers in pursuit of Nichols, would eventually catch up with him. And while Nichols’ behavior has been described as being “resistant” by the officers, there is NO EVIDENCE WHATSOEVER, that he at any point, attacked the officers in question.

Disgustingly, as Nichols lay slowly dying from what would later be classified as a homicide due to a beating that caused him to suffer a cardiac arrest as well as kidney failure, the officers responsible for it, discussed the now-debunked claim of his reckless driving, as one officer boasted to the assembled throng that: “I was hitting him with straight haymakers, dog”, as another commented that they had “jumped in, and started rocking him.”.

Even more inhumane, paramedics that were called to the scene of carnage, failed to administer care for a quarter of an hour. Nichols was admitted to the hospital in (surprise!) critical condition, where he eventually died three days later from his injuries. Preliminary findings of an autopsy commissioned by his family found that Nichols “suffered excessive bleeding caused by a severe beating”

Now, while we’ve all heard this story before, and it comes as no surprise, the fact that those of us who pay attention to the issue of race-based aggressive judicial inflection could still be caught somewhat off guard, is a gut punch to the system that nobody expected. Because there is a plot twist to this story, and nobody I can assure you, ever saw it coming, including me. Which is odd, because I usually don’t miss much.

Unlike the majority of such cases wherein the inherent fascism of the American judicial enforcement system directly leads to the death of an innocent person of color, the five MPD officers responsible for Nichol’s death; Tadarrius Bean, Demetrius Haley, Emmitt Martin III, Desmond Mills Jr, and Justin Smith, are all people of color themselves.  

Therefore, the query that arises with this knowledge, is dually split: is the system itself characteristically racist, or does working in said system, eventually make one unavoidably corrupted to be so?

Another key difference in regards to the fallout from Nichol’s death was what immediately occurred after it was inarguably established that the officers lacked both probable cause and justification for their deadly force. To a person, every single officer as well as two paramedics, was relieved of duty, effective January 8, 2023. On January 24,2023, the five officers were arrested and charged with second degree murder, aggravated assault, aggravated kidnapping, official misconduct, and official oppression.

Charges which we can assume, may be added to or possibly even reduced in the very near future, but for now? They’re sticking to these bastards as if they’re wood ticks, as they fucking should. But here’s the thing that I’m curious about: was the officers dismissal and subsequent murder charges the apogee of a functioning democratic process, or was it hastened for the simple reason that the officers involved, just so happened to be not White?

I ask this question only because in a typical investigation concerning such abhorrent events, the time that’s normally accorded to assembling the crucial evidence for prosecution, usually takes far longer to assess the acquired same, than the one that’s been conferred to the collective cases regarding the Memphis Five. Floyd’s killer was eventually brought to due justice, and I hope that the same fate befalls those of Nichol’s, but I still find the quickening of this case somewhat unusual.

But just don’t take my word for it, especially when there’s the White supremacy-based words of the Alt-Wrong media to choose from. Take for instance, this repulsive offering from FOX News favorite spokesman for the overly victimized demographic that is always American White Conservatives, Tucker Carlson:

So, I’m confused here; is Tucker suggesting that Floyd is actually still alive, (because he most certainly is not) or is he suggesting that Floyd committed an act of willful suicide by placing Chauvin’s knee on his neck for the span of ten agonizing minutes, until he died from this act of subdual restraint and neck compression? Yeah, either checks out, I guess. Well, in Tucker’s white-bread worldview, anyway.

Nevertheless, Chauvin still has Carlson’s full support, but as I said, don’t take my word for it- take Carlson’s asinine ones instead: “So they destroy the city, they put this cop in prison for the rest of his life, we all have to pretend he committed murder… which he didn’t, but whatever, we have to pretend it, and then they leave and they move on to the next thing to destroy,”

This assertion proudly stated, despite the fact that a jury of Chauvin’s peers convicted him for murdering Floyd, and not for his just being a cop. Contrast this “Back the Blue” twaddle take on race-based abuse with that of Tucker’s very own modern-day Stepin Fetchit, a conservative token sycophant by the name of Jason Whitlock:

Whitlock, whose groveling for Massa’s approval is akin to that of his fellow GQP ego-fellating token Candyass Owens, offered a truly unique take on as to why Nichols was brutally murdered by those who were sworn to protect and serve him,

They don’t want us focused on reality”, says hand-picked pundit on “news” network dived to not living anywhere near its clearly defined boundaries. Yes, boys and girls, our ever so misinformed Caucasian collaborator here, has an opinion about them there uppity one-parent Negroes, and he’s gonna shade it with all of us:

“They don’t want us focused on reality, Hey, if they want us to devote an hour of coverage to this and weekend coverage to this and they want to take us to a good place, I would examine the racial element of this.  Because there is a racial element. And this is a story about young Black men and their inability to treat each other in a humane way.

Everybody involved in this, on the street level, was either 24 to 32 years old. Everybody, it was a group of young Black men, five-on-one. It looked like gang violence to me. It looked like what young Black men do when they’re supervised by a single Black woman, and that’s what they got going on in the Memphis Police Department.”

Damn. Not only is ths ignorant, it also serves as father validation that for the promise of a few shekels, Whitlock is more than happy to earn them via a self-hating shuck n’ jive designed to deflect from the actual issue at hand. That being yet again; is the system itself characteristically racist, or does working in said system, eventually make one unavoidably corrupted to be so?

Damn. Not only is this ignorant, it also serves as father validation that for the promise of a few shekels, Whitlock is more than happy to earn them via a self-hating shuck n’ jive designed to deflect from the actual issue at hand. That being yet again; is the system itself characteristically racist, or does working in said system, eventually make one unavoidably corrupted to be so?

However, a well-worn deflective gambit can never not be overplayed, especially on a faux-news network where the actual Truth has been deemed by its management as being “bad for business”. So therefore, and unsurprisingly, Tucker earned his paycheck by launching a few more cans of allegorical gas into the disingenuous fire that he in tandem with Whitlock had stoked, falsely stating that;

“We want to touch on two things. First, regarding “very few unarmed Black men are being killed by white cops.” [This is patently false] Now, we don’t have a breakdown of police killers by race, but we do know that according to federal statistics, the vast majority of American police officers are white. In fact, according to the most recent information only 10% of police officers in America are Black. [So what?]

The race riots of 2020 were never about George Floyd, obviously. That’s why there are no statues of him in American cities.[Um, genius? There are actually two.]  They were about changing the country forever. The first step, of course, was defunding police departments across the country and forcing them to lower their standards [False] to attract unqualified applicants: hiring officers based on skin color, rather than integrity or skill or self-control, all in the name of equity.

Does that result in better policing? Well, what happened in Memphis a few weeks ago is one indicator. At least two of the five officers that apparently beat Tyre Nichols to death were hired under lax diversity-driven standards. They were affirmative action hires. Yet instead of admitting that, and it’s true, the media are diverting attention from this fact by accusing these five officers, who are all Black, of somehow being white supremacists.”

Wow. Just… wow.

Amazing how Tucker, who defended who openly declared that Chauvin’s inherent bigotry and abuse of his authority hadn’t directly led to George Floyd’s death, turned on a dime to promote the equally racist idea that diversity hiring had led to Nichol’s, while simultaneously ignoring the everyday reality of fascistic judicial abuse. Gee, given this discrepancy of thought, I have to seriously wonder what the singular factor differentiating these two cases for Tucker are?  

Oops. Never mind. I got it now, thanks to Fox News’ grand wizard of weird M&M cartoon fetishes and America’s persistently incensed Vanilla Wafer, Tucker Carlson, as well as his reposting sycophant, Gerry Catinari. That’s the one thing I’ve always loved about White Supremist fanboys; whole they really do hate being called “racist”, it’s still not enough of an irritant to stop them from saying and doing racist things.

Weird, that.

But let’s not forget Catinari’s original “point”; both were killed (MURDERED) in Democratic run cites. Nice to know that such only happens in so-called “Blue” areas and not “Red” ones. Oh wait…

Poor Gerry. It seems that Realty once again, is treating him as if he dropped the soap in a prison shower. As usual. But never fear, for when Truth fails to bend to Catinari’s will, he’ll just foist forward yet another ignorant attempt at being regarded as something other than an inadvertent walking punchline. And in this particular case, it’s as the recipient of unwarranted reverse racism. Speaking off which, I’d love to see his proof:

Gosh, my Liberal heart is just bleeding for these two wholly oppressed White men. I mean, can you imagine the pain and suffering attached to constituting the majority of the 332 million people living within the United States? Sure, representing 61.6% of the current population isn’t anything to sneeze at, but now Cheerios actually markets to Black people, and you know it’s all going to go straight to Hell after that becomes commonplace.

And when the stench of false victimhood fails to move the goalposts so much as an inch, Catinari falls back on a classic distraction to “prove” that he’s so not a bigot, but is instead, a man of educated prowess. And how does he do this, you may ask? Simple. He uses misogyny instead:  

Is there some specific reason as to why Catinari felt the need to identify current VP Kamala Harris as a “Black Female”, as if we would have possibly forgotten that she is? This just in, Donald Trump is still a tangerine-tinted man-child, for those of you with chronic long-term memory loss. So glad I could help.

Also, does anybody believe for a second that Catinari even knows what the “View” is to begin with, past being a favorite target of Neocon faux outrage? Yeah, me too. But fortunately, Catinari isn’t alone in his stereotypical inbred inanity, for yet again, his heterosexual BFF Stave Laux, comes riding in on his White horse, just dying to make a declarative stand. Albeit one that’s both long-dead, and far past being beat into dust:

While it’s true that Conservatives like to consistently claim that they themselves don’t see color, unless of course, the people born of such dares to do White people only things in front of actual White people, this assertion of Laux’s, amusing as it is, still raises a pertinent question nevertheless, and it is this: “JFC, how fucking stupid is Laux for choosing this particularly dumb as fuck vanilla-scented hill to impudently die on?”

Granted, I know that’s a question to be asked in metaphorical form only, but even I am at a loss for words regarding just how goddamn mind-numbingly stupid his declarative position is in the face of incontrovertible evidence. Amazing how the same people who (falsely) crow about being truly “colorblind” when it comes to the issue of race equality, lose their freaking so-called minds when an obvious person of color declares membership within its sovereignty.

I’d also note that Laux, much in the way that Catinari is wont to do, fails to give any explanation as to why he passionately believes with such Caucasian conviction that Harris isn’t “Black”, but I guess the small details such as backing up your asinine points using actual verified evidence, goes out the allegorical window, when all of your attention is focused on proving that you’re a fucking idiot.

Building upon that concept, Catinari returns to the fold with yet another unwarranted attack on Harris, and this time, is kind enough to present us all with a list of her potential “victims”, which when given the voting and legislative record of the party that propagates this puerile propaganda, only serves to validate the theorem that everything Conservatives attempt to slur liberals with, is either projection or confession:

Let’s take this supposed hit list in order, if we may, and as you’d surmise, it doesn’t tell the whole story.

If you’re a Taxpayer: the GQP passed one of the largest tax breaks in history, allowing the ultra-rich to shirk paying their fair share, which of course, we all collectively get to pay for. If you’re a Business Owner: the GQP did nothing to help you during the COVID crisis, and whom also slashed the Small Business Administration’s Program for Investment in Micro-entrepreneurs, which funds programs that help low-income entrepreneurs get training, technical assistance, and access to capital for their businesses.

If you’re a Christian: Nothing is happening to you, whatsoever. And if something actually was, which it most certainly is not, why would you be scared in the first place? I mean, isn’t “God” supposed to protect you, as stated in Isaiah 54:17? After all; “No weapon that is formed against thee shall prosper; and every tongue that shall rise against thee in judgment thou shalt condemn. This is the heritage of the servants of the LORD, and their righteousness is of me, saith the LORD”, sounds like God has your back pretty well covered.

If you’re a Parent: Same advice as above, but without all that mythical mumbo-jumbo of a sociopathic deity attached. But you will need to continue ignoring the fact that the GQP is the party that consistently rolls back gun regulations which in turn, directly leads to the NUMBER ONE KILLER OF AMERICAN CHILDREN in this country. But I’m sure that you’re perfectly okay with sacrificing your kids so that the NRA can continue to fund Ted Cruz’s trips to Cancun when Texas gets too cold for his reptilian blood, right?

If you’re a Police Officer: As it is with the Christians, nothing is happening to you whatsoever, save for the fact that you’re now finally being held accountable for the application of systemic abuse of your limited authority, as well as your inherent racism. This leads to an “Us versus Them” mentality, which is the singular reason why Black parents tell their sons; “Don’t give them a reason. Any reason”, if they get stopped by the cops. But please… you were just whining about being unfairly judged?


However?  You and your alleged “loved ones”, will face a far higher risk of being fatally injured with the presence of a gun in your home, as well as raising the risk of having it turned against you during an altercation. But please, my whiny warrior wannabes, feel free to roll the dice on what will transpire when your kid accidentally shoots either himself, or more terrifyingly, his schoolmates on purpose, which seems to be the norm these days.

Thoughts and prayers to the ever so obvious reality that much like what’s been going on between your ears ever since you became a Conservative, you’re lacking “it” between your legs, as well. But I’m sure that your purchasing another 40 guns for “personal protection”, will help you forget that everybody knows it.

And when it comes to that mocking laughter that you hear every time you wear your “Fuck Your Gun-Free Zone” t-shirt outside of your house”? Well, that’s just those Liberal pussies showing their jealousy at your command of faux badassery.

If you’re a White American Citizen: Um, Dude? I’m a White American Citizen, and a blonde and blue-eyed one at that, so I can assure you that overall, we still have it pretty good. Superman and Han Solo are still White, as are most of our cartoon mermaids, and as a rule, we’re still the ones running the news networks stoking the racial fear that you’ve obviously brought into, so try to relax, you delusional blubbercup.

If you’re a Newborn or Unborn Baby: The first question I must ask, is just what are either one of you exactly worried about? You live rent-free, have no pressing responsibilities to contend with, and just about everyone who meets you, loves you unconditionally. You, quite literally, have it made in the shade. And despite what the GQP says, there are multiple safeguards in place to protect you before and after you’re born.

First off, let’s keep in mind just which party is the one painting itself as “Pro-Life” while defunding social programs for children, forcing same said children to give birth against their will to the offspring resultant of the acts of rape and incest, and as noted earlier, adamantly refusing to do a goddamn thing about the actual number one killer of children, that being gun violence.

But I’m sorry, Gerry- you were just trying to warn us about paranoid falsehoods, while being a hypocrite regarding actual ones, and mythical God knows that I’d hate to ever your interrupt that. To that end, I’d like to introduce yet another fever-dream of Catinari’s, his unsupported fantasy that White people are being unfairly saddled with the stigma of being responsible for the majority of mass shootings within this country:

Before I shred yet another of Catinari’s bullshit bloviations, some context first: what my cravenly Caucasian of supreme defection is lying about here, is that the L.A. shooter, identified as one Huu Can Tran, 72, and who later died at his own hand, wasn’t White, so therefore, “nobody” in the media covered this statical anomaly (more on that in a bit), despite the carnage resultant of the body count involved.

This is patently dishonest of course, but leave it to Catinari to make a mountain range out of his Caucasian offense, and call it a reality for the ages. Unfortunately for yet another of his false narratives, reality bites back:

Yes Gerry, “nobody” mentioned it. I love to break this to you, but as a rule, racially divergent mass shooters such as Tran are the exception, and not the standard. I’m ever so sorry that the Media in general, wasn’t able to adequately deflect the sins of your fellow Vanilla Vanguardians by disingenuously placing blame for everything on another race, but as there have been more than 140 mass shootings in the US at the time of this writing, [April 2023] they probably don’t have the time to do so to your scurrilous satisfaction

By the way Gerry, that works out to a shooting almost daily, and guess who’s typically responsible, according to the corroborated data? Well, all I can say is that it’s going to break your already overtaxed heart. To start, 95% [on avg.] of shooters were 33 years old, male, and in a data point that nobody should find surprising…

… 54% of said wrongdoers were WHITE. Overall, it seems that the one racial demographic that seems to be far more murderous, are the Caucasians. Say what you will about the work ethic of us venomous Vanilla’s, but I’m starting to think that we sure don’t like to take a back seat to anybody in anything. But don’t worry Gerry, you can still blame all the other races for our issues, just like you’ve always done. It is an American tradition, after all.

And when it comes to disseminating blame for the ills of an eggshell-colored society, Catinari likes to engage in fellatio on the classics, such as the old and beyond disproven trope that illegal immigrants are openly “gaming the system”, as evidenced by this transparently false slice of bigoted bullshit:

For the more astute among you out there, you already know that this is not true, and so does Catinari, but as his racism overrides his ethics by miles, I guess I can’t fault him for willingly wallowing in the merde of his own self-invented ignorance. To clarify, no refugee is or ever has been considered to be “illegal”, as under U.S. law, refugee status is given to those who can prove that they have (or are fleeing) persecution., albeit physical or political.

On average, the federal government spends $440 per refugee, per month, and the types of programs and the befits offered to such. Come nowhere near to Catinari’s false claim. But you can’t keep a bigoted dumbfuck down for too long, as Catinari proves with this offering of non-researched Trumper tripe:

I’ve often wondered why it is, that the people who brag about knowing the Constitution cover to cover, have absolutely no fucking clue what it actually says. A question for another time, I guess. Perhaps one when I don’t feel the need to give myself an aneurysm trying to find the answer. And as you’ve already surmised, Catinari is not only wrong as usual, but pathetically so.

While it is accurate that the Constitution does not grant immigrants the right to enter the U.S illegally, it does protect them from discrimination based on race and national origin and from arbitrary treatment by the government, once they are here. The U.S. Supreme Court has definitely ruled that the guarantees of our Constitution APPLY TO EVERY PERSON WITHIN THE BORDERS OF THE UNITED STATES, including those persons whose presence in this country is completely unlawful,

What this translates to for the benefit of our graduate of the KKK School of Racist Law here, is that even the undocumented working among us, have the right to freedom of speech and religion, the right to be treated fairly, the right to personal privacy, along with the myriad of the other fundamental rights that  U.S. citizens generally appreciate, without so much as a second or even a first thought for that matter.

So whereas Catinarl’s take on these facts are concerned, I’m trying my absolute hardest to see things from his perspective, but I just can’t seem to get my head that far up my ass. Maybe I should ask him fir some tips on how to do so, given the consistent adeptness he displays in regards to his achieving such.

Take for instance this just as uneducated declaration, wherein despite the reality that I just presented, Catinari espouses that the desperate doing the jobs that Americans gave up doing decades ago, as being nothing less than an invading horde of hardened criminals, hellbent on pillaging the very heart of America itself:

Has anyone else ever noticed how Conservatives always manage to take two disparate concerns and amalgamate them into a false analogy as natural as they lie about both? Truly, an impressive talent on loan from their mythical God, whose teachings they don’t follow. You know, such as welcoming the stranger, assisting the needy, and being honest in both your word and deed?

I find Catinari’s faux concern about the sexually assaulted via the construct of the “Brute Caricature” specifically odious, given the fact that his President is a self-admitted rapist, and that his party, besides typically dismissing most victims of rape as liars, is also currently trying to legislate that women (and underage girls) be forced to give birth to the spawn of involuntary sexual and incestual acts.

But please Gerry, share with us all, your feminist takes on the issues concerning the gender you wish to subjugate against their will. I’m sure it will be just as intellectually sound as any if your other so-called talking points.

For those unfamiliar with what I referenced above, the brute caricature is a racist trope that depicts African-American men as being naturally vicious, and therefore uncontrollably prone to engaging in destructive acts of criminality, such as the targeted predation of (always) defenseless White women. And under the auspices of such racist ideology, the only cure or salve to stop said social savages, is either the act of infinite incarceration, or applying the ultimate penalty via a state-supported death.

Now as we look at this slanderous descriptive as dispassionately as is possible, does this farcical fable sound remotely similar to the slurs consistently applied to the particular demographic that’s become the favored sacrificial scapegoat of the Alt-Wrong’s ever-expanding grievances list?  Yeah… I thought so too, but it’s always nice to have verification of my theorems, nevertheless. The race may change, but the need for an allegorical boogeyman seemingly never does.

However, did anyone else notice that despite employing the issue of unrestrained gun violence to foist his bigoted point upon us all, Catinari most deliberately sidestepped addressing the specific issue itself?

I could wonder why that is, but I’m certain that it has nothing to do with the fact that thanks to his party’s insistence on relaxing gun laws, any wackadoo gun-tard can now effortlessly annihilate an entire classroom of children in under a minute and a half. Such a disclosure would normally cause an ethically-functioning human being to take a moment of pause, but to be fair, it’s hard to think when you’re not actually used to the parameters of the activity.

Case in point? Catinari’s return to an already debunked non -issue, that despite all the evidence that was presented to him, he dismissed as being “fake”, because that’s how Realty apparently chooses to work now.

Sigh… it’s one thing to beat a dead horse into dust, but when you’ve managed by the sheer will of your asinine ignorance alone, to turn said dust into querulous quarks, perhaps it’s way past the time for you to just stop. A personally-held opinion that I feel, was addressed rather succinctly in my brief retort:

As long as I may get to live, I will never truly understand the depth or the toxicity of the hateful well that these abscheuliche Menschen happily drink from. Call me strange, but in my average day, I really don’t have the time to contemplate just how much needless fear I can present if not project to the world entire, while falsely claiming that all things badass, are due to my presence being within proximity of them.

This sense that all which exists in the world is designed to harm or offend them, is a staple of Neocon ideology, and while at its core it represents a clear and present danger to our established democracy, it can also be inadvertently hilarious when placed in the hands of a babbling maroon, such as Catinari appears to be. By way of example, peruse this cultural observation of his that in the end, comes off as if he were my elderly father, eavesdropping on his African-American neighbors next door:

On this one, I will begrudgingly admit that Catinari is half-right in his assertion, as “Old Tome Rock and Roll”, is a great song. I say ,despite the fact that the majority of his critics rank it as one of the worst tunes that he ever wrote. That dishonor I believe, should go to either “Turn the Page” from his “Back in ’72” album, or the inexorable pop monstrosity “Shakedown” from the Beverly Hills Cop II soundtrack, but I digress for now, because Catinari is still a fucking idiot, regardless.

A bigot in his seventies bitching about the current state of rap and rock music, is akin to a 14-year-old running commentary about having to make mortgage payments. Neither knows shit about the topic that they’re whining about, and for the good of all those within earshot, both should probably just shut the hell up about it. But since we’re discussing Black culture, and its contribution to society in general, let’s take a gander at this posting of his which screams “I know of a Black Person!”, without using the actual words:

For the record, the concept of being “Woke” is to be alertly aware to the issues of racial prejudice, discrimination, and societal inequality. Conservatives quite fond of saying how “anti-woke” they are, when in fact, they should be anti-idiocy, anti-racist, anti-abhorrence, anti-societal deficiency, and anti-totalitarian.

I am curious though, as to whether or not Catinari essentially knows that the term he so happily regards as a damning disparagement, is not only derived from the argot of African-Americans themselves, but to those who openly deem themselves as being woke to begin with, it’s taken as being nothing less than the highest of supreme compliments. Especially when the intellect of its dissemination source n is taken into consolidative review.

For the life of me, I have no idea why it’s still so necessary that I have to explain to Conservatives such as Catinari as to why they should actually give a damn about other people, but here we collectively are, nonetheless. But baby steps, I guess. In addendum, can anyone tell me just why it is that Conservatives truly believe that posting the meme equivalency of “I have a Black friend so I can’t be a prejudiced twat”, will somehow make us forget that their party is communally racist?

Being able to quote the Reverend Martin Luther King Jr, doesn’t mean squat when you’re still one of the openly bigoted manning the allegorical fire hoses, and utilizing a selectively cherry-picked five-minute bit from a Black comedian’s act when you’ve ignored all that came before and afterwards, is an act of intellectual cowardice so brazenly steeped in chicken shit, that even Ted Cruz himself, would disavow it.

And keep in mind he’s an Eddie Munster cosplayer, whose spine is comprised mostly of microwaved Velveeta.

For validity’s sake, Rock does talk about wokeness and cancel culture in the comedy special that Catinari discriminatorily choose his commentary from, but in regards to the abominable events of J6, he also openly mocked the angry mob of (primarily) White men who tried to overthrow the government that they themselves draw the most benefit from, saying; “What kind of white Planet of the Apes shit was that?!”

Interestingly, Catinari didn’t feel the need to dig deep in regards to Rock’s previous social commentary featured in his prior special ]2018’s” Ta]mbourine”] where Rock addressed several issues of cultural disparity that Catinari consistently and deliberately, avoids talking about as if they were the very plague itself. Which for a person who picks the Truth he wants out of his serving of Caucasian Chex-Mix, it most likely is.

Regarding the pandemic of gun violence, where Conservatives pathetically use the argument that if not a gun, a madman would kill as many with a knife: “If 100 people ever got stabbed at the same place at the same time, you know what? Then 97 people deserve to die.”

And then there’s his quip about the police: “I don’t think they pay cops enough. I don’t think they pay police enough. And you get what you pay for. Here’s the thing, man. Whenever the cops gun down an innocent black man, they always say the same thing. “Well, it’s not most cops. It’s just a few bad apples. It’s just a few bad apples.” Bad apple? That’s a lovely name for murderer. That almost sounds nice.

I’ve had a bad apple. It was tart, but it didn’t choke me out. Here’s the thing. Here’s the thing. I know being a cop is hard. I know that shit’s dangerous. I know it is, okay? But some jobs can’t have bad apples. Some jobs, everybody gotta be good. Like … pilots. Ya know, American Airlines can’t be like, “Most of our pilots like to land. We just got a few bad apples that like to crash into mountains. Please bear with us.”

Expanding upon same said concern, Rock opined: “I want to see white mothers on TV crying.” you’d think every once in a while, the cops would shoot a white kid just to make it look good. You’d think they’d look at their dead nigga calendar and go, “Oh my god, we’re up to 16. We gotta shoot a white kid quick.” “Which one?” “Ah, the first you see singing Cardi B.”

Honestly, I wanna live in a world with real equality. I want to live in a world where an equal amount of white kids are shot every month. An equal world. I wanna see white mothers on TV cryin’, standin’ next to Al Sharpton, talkin’ about “We need justice for Chad! We need justice for Chad! He was just coming home from racquetball practice!”

And much to Catinari’s discomfort, Rock candidly called out the inequities inherent within in the American Justice system, where Black men routinely get the short end of the judicial rope: “Some say young black men are an endangered species. That’s not true, because endangered species are protected by the government. You got to punch your black son in the fucking face. Hard. Yeah, I said it. On Netflix, I said that shit. It’s important that your black son follow your instructions. It’s the difference between life and death. Okay? Okay? ’

Cause we got a crazy justice system out here. We got a justice system for rich and for poor, for black, for white. We got a justice system where two people can do the exact same crime, in the exact same place, at the exact same time and get a different sentence. Only in America. We gotta change this justice system. Yo, the American justice system should be like Walmart. It should be just like Walmart. “Hey, if you can find a lighter sentence, we’ll match it!”

Weird that Catinari didn’t mention any of that which has come before, isn’t it? It’s almost as if he knows that when you give people all the interconnecting details, they tend not to buy your bargain-brand bullshit at face value. Conservatives: keeping the parts that support their false narratives, and jettisoning the inconvenience of the rest that so obviously doesn’t.

But hey Gerry, you can feel free to ignore all these still-relevant observations as trivial, because after all, Rock did issue a flippant comment about the oversensitiveness of some social activists that you view as being nothing less than a Hail Mary pass for your asinine ideology. Now all you need do, is quote the good Reverend King out of context, and then pat yourself on the back for not using the “N-word” outside of your carefully selected company, and the circle will be complete.

My acerbic assertion aside, this is not to say that Catinari has a sense of disdain for African-Americans overall, for there’s more than a few that he does like. That is, as long as they’re the “right kind” of Black person to begin with. People like the racism-denying Candy-ass Owens, the aforementioned bootlicker Jason Whitlock, and this testicle-lacking token, known as Byron Donalds:

Donalds, the U.S. representative for Florida’s 19th congressional district since 202i, has made quite the name for himself being one of disgraced president Trump’s most fervent Mar-a-Lago lawn lackeys, by not only sidestepping the inherently worrying issue of his attempted coup, but by insisting that the evidential reality of his committing numerous other crimes as well, is irrelevant.

Adding insult to his already cringe-worthy servitude, Donalds proudly endorsed the twice-impeached, treasonous, lying, grafting, adulterous, law-breaking mange-man-child for the upcoming 2024 presidential race, saying that; “There is only one leader at this time in our nation’s history who can seize the moment and deliver what we need – to get us back on track, provide strength and resolve, and Make America Great Again. That is why I’m honored to endorse President Donald J. Trump for President in 2024, and I ask my fellow Americans to join me,”

Given the fact that my brain works the way Nature intended it to, I’m afraid that I’ll have to take a hard pass on that offer Byron, because you know… reality and all that?  Shunning such, Donalds has also preserved with his unfounded assertion that systemic racism no longer exists in America, despite clear evidence to the contrary, seriously saying that;

“It doesn’t exist today. One hundred years ago, if you had told me there was systemic racism in the United States, I would have said absolutely there was. Not only the police but the D.A., the defense attorney, and the judge were systematically set up to make sure you were guilty no matter what.

Systemic and institutionalized racism today in the United States? No. We are now two generations from the Civil Rights Act passing. Two generations away in America. I will largely tell you that if you are a Black or Brown child in America, your opportunities for success today are significantly higher than they were two generations ago. That’s beyond question.”

It’s “beyond question”, you say? Well, I guess that must explain the traceable history of GQP-influenced and legislated race-based voter disenfranchisement, the repeated racial attacks emanating from its leadership targeting legislators of color and non-Christian religious faith, and the fact that the equality of applied Justice still overwhelmingly favors Whites over non-Whites.

And whatever you do, don’t make it a point to mention to Donalds, ever the racial history scholar, the fact that the last of the Jim Crow laws was “officially” struck off the books in 1968. which if you can do math, falls far shy of the hundred-year benchmark that he apparently regards as verification for his dripping with cluelessness claim.

No wonder Catinari likes this guy- he knows his place, if not his specifically designated role. That being, the literal whitewashing of a tangerine-tinted fascists track record of incompetence, lying, racism, misogyny, graft, elitism, intellectual density, cravenness, and treason.

And as an aside to Donalds, who has the faith of a toddler at Christmastime that currying the favor of the world’s biggest disloyalist will grant him access to even more power? Trump is never going to let you walk through the door unmolested son, but he’ll be oire than happy to let you hold it open for him. After all, isn’t that the full extent of what he thinks that your people can actually do?

Now while Trump th9nks that African Americans are best locked in allegorical amber as either disposable tokens or the demographic of imaginary people that “love” him, Catinari prefers that they be regarded as societal scapegoats for all of the ills that his party continues to openly foment.

Case in point, this false fever-dream amalgamating acts of random vandalism, with that of the dedicated attempt to overthrow the results of a free and fair election, just so that a wannabe fascist clad in treason and hubris, could soothe his fragile as wet-tissue-paper ego in regards to his numerous failures:

For the uninitiated, the “DailySignal.com” is a conservative website that focuses on pushing the Alt-Wrong narrative that is so deliberately essential to propping up the perspective of Conservative ideology. Published by the conservative think tank known as The Heritage Foundation, its reliability for accuracy has been charted as being just shy of 27% by Ad Fontes Media, an organization that measures media bias, be it Leftist or in this case, paranoically racist.

In other words, it’s just as steadfast as all of Catinari’s other media sources that I previously covered in Pt. 2 of this story-arc, so naturally of course, Catinari responds to it in the same way that I respond to a case of perfectly chilled Ding-Dongs. Unfortunately for Catinarl’s cringe-inducing ploy at stitching two disparate events together to provide us all with a seamless soliloquy of scurrilous slander, the statistics as usual, don’t support the narrative that he attempts to sell us.

To note; an investigative study by the Armed Conflict Location & Event Data Project (ACLED) analyzed more than 7,750 Black Lives Matter demonstrations in all 50 states as well as Washington D.C., and discovered that the vast expanse of them (95%) were in fact relatively peaceful, overall.

Despite protests taking place in no less than 2,400 locations nationwide, fewer than 220 reported “violent demonstrations”, whose definition encompasses personal assaults upon citizenry or police, property damage, looting, acts of targeted arson, or other similar actions.

Fascinatingly, the ACLED report did call attention to the violence inherent to the government’s response, in which authorities “use force more often than not” when challenged by such, penning that they “disproportionately used force while intervening in demonstrations associated with the BLM movement, relative to other types of demonstrations.

In addition, the report also called out, and that rather specifically, the multitude of unwarranted personal assaults leveled at BLM-supporting participants, such as the fatal incident of vehicular homicide that occurred in Charlottesville, as carried out by both individuals with strongly established ties to White Supremacist groups such as the Ku Klux Klan, and other agitators with no direct connections to the very causes and societal concerns that BLM exists to highlight.

Call me crazy, but does it strike strange that Catinari who claims to be an American Patriot, has such an issue with his fellow citizens legally employing their Constitutional rights to protest injustice, while at the same time, seemingly having no qualms whatsoever being in ideological goosestep with a NAZI who used the bumper of a Dodge Challenger to press his abominable point home?

I’m sure that there’s nothing to unpack there, save for his matching robe and hood ensemble, that is. I do wonder what the key differences are twixt his summations, though. I’m pretty sure that the answer to such is White on the tip of my tongue, but for now? It’s just educated guesswork at best.

Unerringly, while I am known for the harshest of critiques concerning persons of true moral unevenness as Catinari moist certainly presents himself as. This is to say that my literary picture of the man is far from complete, as it were.An assessment that I think we can all agree on, regardless of our political leaning or societal attachment.

Just because Catinari posts racist memes and cherry-picked racist tropes as he deliberately ignores all that which is relevant to what occurs around him, it doesn’t necessarily prove that he’s a racist. Not at all. For that sort of accusation, I tend to lean on a person’s own words, which of course Catinari can’t help but provide:

The lauded African American poetess Maya Angelou said it best: “When someone shows you who they are, believe them the first time”, and mythical God knows, that Catinari really enjoys the act of showing us who he really is, even when all traces of said reasonable doubt, have been settled for quite some time.

Let’s call it a gift, and leave it at that.

Yes Gerry, it is “progress”. Just think about it- in the 246-year-old history of this country, we’ve had ONE Black president (out of the 45 others who were White) ONE Black vice-president (out of the 48 others who were White) and the only one who just happens to be female (out of the 45 others who… oh, you get the point) and maybe one day down the road, we might even have a White female president as well, but you know… baby steps and all that.

After all, we already know just how fragile the collective White person ego is, and we wouldn’t to have a government that actually represents all of its people, lest the Vanilla Vanguard finds itself offended.

Crunching the current 2023 numbers, there are 32 teams in the NFL with [roughly] 58% of the league identifying as Black, 25% of the population identified as White, 1.6% as Hawaiian or Pacific Highlander, 0.7% as Hispanic or Latino and 0.3% as Asian.

“But Artbitch”, you ask, “What is the number of Black head coaches within the NFL? Certainly, given the racial makeup of the majority of its athletes, that number must be HUGE, right?”

Actually, it is. Despite the fact that currently there’s only two non-White NFL owners, and that neither of them is African-American, and minus the unsettling reality that in the entirety of its 102-year history, the NFL has NEVER had a Black owner, the NFL nevertheless, has made amazing progress where its hiring of African American head coaches is concerned.

In fact, it’s 9.375%, which translates into three persons, when all of the complicated math is done and accounted for. Wait a minute… [checks notes] that’s it? THREE!?!? There are less Black people working as head coaches in an unquestionably Black-dominated sport than you could ever find singing lead in a Salt Lake City-based Osmond Family tribute band, and Catinari is seriously bitching about it?

Dear God, will the madness of Wokeism ever end? Next thing you know, we’ll suffer the integration of our schools, water fountains, hotels, public swimming pools, if not NASCAR itself. And God forbid, you just know that “they” will be demanding the right to vote without our permission next. Such are the slippery slopes that manifest when the privilege of access is charitably granted to such ingrates.

Honestly, I’m not sure what I find to be more pathetic here:  Catinari’s smug condescension regarding an ongoing crisis of equity sadly inherent within this deeply-flawed republic, or the fact that he esteems the incidental inclusion of an allegorical speck of pepper to a stew made of Vanilla and unwarranted privilege, somehow taints the world entire.

Can you just imagine, the dedicated effort that it must take before you’ve even had your first cup of coffee, to be this much of a bigoted and clueless jackass? And then in addition, taking pride in being so? Look, I know that ignorance is supposedly bliss and all that, but there’s a crowbar separation between being in a state of perpetual Zen and a state of delusional denial, as Catinari so clearly is.

Of course, Catinari doesn’t (and never will) see it that way, bit as he and his ilk are fond of saying, fuck your feelings Gerry, because you’re still a goddamn maroon, nevertheless. Catinari’s inane ideology and his obsessive need to disseminate it, often make me wonder just what he might have become, if only he hadn’t been denied the oxygen he required at the unfortunate time of his birth.

On the one hand, I do have a fair amount of sympathy for Catinari, a person so devoid of intellectual capacity, that he probably believes Cheerios are doughnut seeds, but on the other, I’d have to also admit that at times, he can be a person of rare intelligence. Mainly due to the fact that it’s rare when he actually shows any.

Fortunately for me and my writing, that’s a plus, rather than a deficiency, and for that. I will express my sincerest gratitude and well wishes towards his never-ending quest to achieve the true walking punchlines status he’s so dedicatedly earned. He’s not quite there yet, but he is getting closer every day, thanks to the sheer amount of ignorance that he spews almost hourly.

And who am I not to take supreme advantage of that?


So, as I close this particular screed out, rest assured there’s still more of Catinarl’s cravenly mental cavern yet to explore, and I will be more than happy to share it with you all. But first, a taste of that which is yet to come:

Gerry Catinari, everyone. Depriving some poor village of its idiot, ever since he could crawl.


“If complete and utter chaos was lightning, then he’d be the sort to stand on a hilltop in a thunderstorm wearing wet copper armour and shouting ‘All gods are bastards!” – Terry Pratchett, The Color of Magic




The Art of Gerry-slandering. Pt.2 (Do You Fear What Lies Fear?)

“Let me never fall into the vulgar mistake of dreaming that I am persecuted whenever I am contradicted.”  
– Ralph Waldo Emerson


Salutations, Bitchiteers!

It’s yet another glorious day here within my Lair of Snarkitude, and things are clicking along as if they’re a fine Swiss timepiece: the birds are singing, the Sun is shining, the clouds are extra puffy, and since I just got my Illudium Q-36 Explosive Space Modulator back from the shop, let me assure you all, that once I get it hooked back up to the ol’ Intergalactic Death-Ray Cannon that’s been patiently waiting in my back yard for months, the planet Uranus is gonna be literal toast.    

Nothing personal of course, I’m just really sick and tired of all the mispronunciations in regards to how you say its name. The correct one of course, being “YOOR-un-us”, and not I repeat, NOT, “YOUR-anus”.

As I said, it’s truly nothing personal, but after 50 years of hearing its moniker routinely mangled, on top of finding out that it smells like rotten eggs, due to its atmosphere being comprised of hydrogen sulfide, helium, methane, and some small traces of water and ammonia, I think that we should just nuke it from Earth, reprint the posters and science books, re-do the classroom models, and pretend it was never a thing to begin with.

And if we can’t do it for my benefit alone, then let’s do it for every underpaid and overworked grade-school science teacher, who has to listen to all of the jokes about it, come every beginning of the Fall semester.

Speaking of public education, the challenges it currently faces, such as the reduction of its infrastructure budgets and the repeated attacks upon its curriculum have all been the result of a campaign of focused harassment directed by agenda-driven Conservatives, who’ve in tandem, undertaken an effort to ban books, legally bar minority studies from being taught, and are at this very  moment, literally rewriting established American History to suit their own machinated purposes

Singularly, such actions would at best, possess a debatably negligible influence upon the societal aspect of our intellectual culture, but when assembled collectively as they have been, their amalgamation of asininity has rapidly managed to mutate our once semi-intelligent nation, into a mentally-bereft mecca for these of the MAGA muttonhead persuasion.

As you well know, I write somewhat consistently about the academic mendacity of such persons, and while it can be great fun for all involved, save for the subject why is the focus of such, it’s also quite the terrifying glimpse into what a morass of gathered mental illness can publicly present itself as, along with the repercussions that it can deposit within the psyche of those who already lacked the skillset inherent to truly objective critical thinking.

As I said, on the one hand it can be a lot of laughs, based on the simple joy of sarcasm at the expense of others, but as a supplementary construct, it can trigger an accordance of primal fear that strikes at the very center of our primeval lizard-brains.

To note, when it’s a free willing exercise in arrogantly pathetic inanity, it looks like this:

But when it all goes metaphorically South in a Deplorable basket, this is what we’ve sadly come to expect:

Sightseers” everyone, enjoying an under-promoted moment of the purest of “mostly peaceful chaos’, as described by the perennial histrionic hemorrhoid that is FOX News self-admitted lying demagogue, Tucker Carlson. However, if I were inclined to utter a few words in Carlson’s limited defense, I’d note that it’s not like he’s been trying to rewrite the history of any other abominably dark days in American history…

well, not as of yet anyway.

However, today’s screed subject, the previously written about Gerry Catinari of Sacramento, CA, does virtually nothing else, when it gets right down to it. In fact, his ability to be a jackass beyond compare, has easily allowed me the wherewithal to amass the following amount of research material, in concern to his uniquely dumb as all fuckery takes on almost everything firm politics to conspiracies, and the trove is massive:  

With no hyperbole involved, his file may just be the largest singular data cache that I’ve ever assembled centering on just one person, and up until the time he eventually “blocked” me, it showed no end to the slowing of its expansion. Keep this in mind if you would: between the initial publishing date of my last screed and the beginning drafting of this one an exceedingly short time-span later, Catinari added NINETY-TWO postings, in varying shades of puerility, inanity, and ignorance.

That’s a level of posting only seen in twelve-year-old TikTokkers, and angry White men with an assumed IQ of 12, such as the aforementioned Catinari. Now while he does strike me as the perfect analog for what a pint of Ben & Jerry’s Kooky-Dough-Conspiracy-Caramel would taste like if it were made from morons, he does represent a unique case study in regards to what I referenced above.

That being, what would it look like, if you knowingly took a mental affliction, and then optimistically granted it unfettered internet access?  Given all that I’ve collated and observed in regards to Catinari’s dumber than a drunken Kardashian take on realty and all things encompassed by it, I’d have to foster an educated guess that it would look exactly like this:

This sort of delusional and wretchedly asinine theory-spinning crafted out of political desperation and wishful thinking, is the main reason just why not only are you not allowed to construct a family tree that resembles a tumbleweed, but why posting your wedding with Incestry.com, to inform all of your immediate relatives as to your need for a nice toaster-oven, really isn’t the intellectual flex that you think it is.

So, despite Trump’s grafting, self-admitted episodes of sexual assault, his incompetent mangling of the Federal pandemic response, his abusing the authority of the office to go after his political and personal enemies, be they real or imagined, his multiple attempts to illegally influence the results of a free and fair election, and the thankfully failed insurrection that it inspired, none of that actually counted for anything?

Yeah, that totally makes sense. The “real’ reason why Trump was twice-impeached, internationally disrespected, openly jeered, publicly reviled, and eventually FAIRLY voted out of the chair his fat ass never should have been allowed to occupy, in light of the cultural; carnage that he caused, was, because “they” were covering for a person that up until the election, most Americans had never heard of.

Even better, is Catinari’s assertion that the aforementioned yet anonymous “they”, were worried about being exposed by a man with such great intellect that he, and I swear to mythical God that I am not making this up; kept staring directly at the sun during a solar eclipse until told not to do so, claimed that “nobody knew that healthcare could be so complicated“, and in addition, once gave a confused political speech about people having sex on boats to an audience of BOY SCOUTS.

He publicly suggested to scientists the possibility of killing the virus via the injecting of people with UV light or disinfectants. Then, after finding himself hospitalized with COVID-19, same said “stable genius” released photographs of himself signing blank pieces of paper as proof that he was still “working”, and in relation to a national disaster regarding Puerto Rico, said that a hurricane was “one of the wettest we’ve ever seen, from the standpoint of water“..

Let’s also not forget that he embarrassingly saluted a North Korean general, bragged incessantly about repeating the simple phrase “person, woman, man, camera, TV” as if he had delivered the modern-day equivalent of the Gettysburg Adress, reiterated multiple lies about the number of people at his weak-ass inauguration, and when once asked what he was thankful for at Thanksgiving he said….


And this narcissistic cretin was the one that “they” feared would be their evil machinations undoing?

It’s one thing to be dumb. But when you’re this goddamn stupid, they should just lock you in a room wallpapered in bubble-wrap, and water you every now and then, if only for the good of your long-suffering community, held-as-hostages-family, and alleged friends. Speaking of which, let’s meet one of Catinari’s only allies in his ever-continuing quest to embarrass himself in public, his heterosexual life-partner, Steve Laux:

Normally if I were dealing with actually intelligent people, I’d suggest that “class attracts class”, and leave it at that. However, in this case, watching these two attempting to play off each other in their two-person circle-jerk-as-a-straight-line, is cringe-inducing at best. Especially when Laux, after watching Catinari blow his Neocon nut-juice over every surface that he can aim at, steps in as Catinari’s allegorical squeegee mop:

I’ve often heard the phrase that “Birds of a feather, flock together”, but I never realized that it also applied to those people who are truly “bird-brained”, as well. I guess you do learn something new every day after all. That is, unless you’re a gullible simpleton, such as Catinari seems to be. This man of few letters and even less coherent thoughts, swallows’ conspiracies much in the same way that Jenna Jameson’s mouth once did for the random penii of on-screen pizza delivery drivers.
Along with a chance variety of plumbers, firemen, and bosses. That woman had truly dynamic thespian range.

Interestingly, while Catinari and Laux are ideologically connected at the hip, their style of attack is somewhat differing, as we shall come to see. Whereas Catinari seems to prefer applying the act of cravenly deflection, (that is when he’s not running away) Laux is obviously the one who considers himself to be an Alpha, despite the blatant reality that he’s the guy who goes and gets the Beta-Cucks their coffee.

Take for instance, this exchange, wherein Laux eventually displays his true character, in regards to the as yet unknown-reason-why suicide of the prominent billionaire financier Thomas H. Lee, who was once heralded as the “Envy of Wall Street”:

Lee was found dead in his office bathroom, with a single gunshot wound to his head, with his Smith & Wesson revolver lying next to him. No foul play is suspected, and Lee’s suicide has been described as “shockingly unexpected” by those who knew him well. And while Lee did have strong ties to the Democratic political hierarchy, there is no current wave of “Democratic suicides”, as Catinari without evidence or contextual accreditation, inferred.

Political suicide perhaps, by not taking a stringer stand against the fascist wave that is the currently guiding the GQP leadership, but real suicide? Not by a long shot, if you’ll pardon my tasteless pun. And speaking of tastelessness, here’s Laux’s ever so thoughtful commentary concerning the tragic death of someone he never met, never knew, and didn’t care about, until he read Catinari’s post:

Once again, the party of “Family Values”, “Pro-Life”, and “All Lives Matter”, shows us all, exactly who and what they truly are, and what they so proudly represent: hate, divisiveness, and a disturbingly sociopathic disconnection from their fellow humans, not seen since the glory days of the Völkischer Beobachter.

While Laux’s dedication to serving as an allegorical gimp for an obvious moron does say a lot about the strength of his loyalty, it also most certainly, highlights that much like Catinari, questioning the patently absurd is an ability that’s quite outside the scope of his intellectual reach. By way of yet another example, let us peruse Catinari’s smorgasbord of poorly presented mental offal, masquerading as a debate “point”:

Unquestionably, there are a few arguments to rationally explore within this miasma of paranoiac puerility, but as is Catinari’s way, anything that he doesn’t care to understand or bothered to engage in the merest research of, finds itself immediately pigeonholed as nothing less than a Machiavellian intrigue designed to deceive. A rather curious quirk of character, that I was more than happy to recognize out in the great wide open:

To his limited credit, Laux does somewhat nobly attempt to go down swinging, just like you’d expect a mentally-challenged Gibbon falling out of an unfounded Ivory Tower to do, but unfortunately, Laux’s application of sarcasm is really more of a verification of the frustration that he feels regarding his (and Catinari’s) consistent inability to ever win a debate using factual evidence, pulled from a credible source.

As I myself, have no idea what the impact of such failure must do upon one’s psyche, I would have to genuinely think that it must be vexing as all f**k. C’est la vie. Such is the path of the academically bereft.

Nevertheless, across the breadth of the conspiracy landscape, one of the main areas of deluded dissension that loons such as Catinari have most definitely overdosed on, is the Blue Pill parable alleging that modern-day vaccines are now a method of collective “control” over us all. You know, the society that’s so addicted to our personalized tech, that we barely take any dedicated notice of the existent reality around us to begin with?

With no due respect offered, I don’t fear Moderna or Pfizer, half as much as I fear T-Mobile cutting off my Google access. My snarkiness aside for this brief moment, it’s truly a fantasy so absurd, that even a gullibility-guzzling dipstick like Catinari wouldn’t dare dream to espouse it, and I say this with nothing less than supreme confidence:Goddammit. There goes yet another perfectly fine theory, concerning the intelligence of Humanity in general, right out the proverbial window. And lest we forget, those darn things are freaking expensive to replace. However; ignorance, even when bought at a bargain, costs far more in the long run, as these two posts attest to:

For the sake of clarity, I’ll address these two slices of loon-pie separately. First, the concept of a “cashless” society is nothing new, having been around since the first human traded valued goods for services, AKA; “bartering”.. However, the modern-day societal seeds were arguably planted in the early 1990’s with the advent of electronic banking and online transactional facilities such as Apple Pay, that serve as representative digital wallets. 

At the moment, the Federal Reserve’s official position regarding a cash-free financial system, is as follows: “While the Federal Reserve has made no decisions on whether to pursue or implement a central bank digital currency, or CBDC, we have been exploring the potential benefits and risks of CBDCs from a variety of angles, including through technological research and experimentation. As part of this process, we sought public feedback on a range of topics related to CBDC. The Federal Reserve is committed to hearing a wide range of voices on these topics.”

Now, there is a great deal to be said in concern to the pros and the cons of such a system, but I harbor serious reservations that Catinari given his proclivity for regurgitating falsehoods as if he were a vomitous parrot, has done even the barest modicum of research either way, in regards to what they may be. As it is with all overlorded conveniences, power and the abuse or dissemination of it, depends solely on the individual/s in charge of it.

Do I think that this type of system could be detrimentally applied if it’s placed in the wrong hands? Yes, for the possibility does exist.  But do I also believe that I should start running around screaming about how the sky entire is falling, just because an allegorical leaf landed at my feet? No. Mainly because unlike Catinari, I don’t live in a self-created dystopian world so fearful, it causes me to cast suspicion on all that I see.

Addressing Catinari’s second meme in concern to the two drugs that Trumpanzees latched onto like a Kardashian does with bad spousal choices, the data in regarding their overall ineffectiveness, was clearly stated from rather early on, when the C19 pandemic was juggernauting along. According to the FDA, Ivermectin is approved for human use to treat infections caused by some parasitic worms and head lice and skin conditions like rosacea. Currently, data does not show ivermectin as being effective against C19.

Disturbingly, many of the mental midgets that Catinari aligns with, when faced with an inability to get the version of Ivermectin designed for human use, started taking large quintets of the version formulated specifically for, [wait for it] HORSES, instead. A decision that even the Lord of Natural Selection, Darwin himself, was caught off guard by.  And that dude hands out multiple awards for human stupidity every year.

Several deaths and severe complications naturally followed this rash of inane conclusions made by the highly uneducated, because as it turns out, a drug manufactured for a 1200lb animal tends to be a mite bit too strong for the far-lighter creatures that ride upon its back. But what of the other drug Catinari mentioned, that being the immunosuppressive drug known as Hydroxychloroquine, you may ask?

Well, the hews there is just as bleak. According to a report released by the FDA, serious heart rhythm problems and other safety issues, including blood and lymph system disorders, kidney injuries, and liver problems and failure, were noted in people who had been using Hydroxychloroquine, and the drug itself showed no benefit for decreasing the likelihood of death, speeding recovery, or displaying any ability to kill or inhibit the virus that causes C19.

And yet, Catinari’s pissed that the powers that be stepped in to dutifully quell both the drugs’ usage  and the misinformation that was responsible for the easily preventable deaths and long-term physical harm that were arising from such? What absolutely detestable bastards these people must be, says I.

It’s almost as if they believe that they have the responsibility to protect the public from themselves, as if they were tasked to be the sitting Government or something. Oh, wait. Scratch that. Because not only are they the Government, that’s literally the obviously implied definition of their chartered obligations to us, their citizens.

Catinari though, being somewhat more than your average cultist, isn’t about to let a few pesky details such as truth and accuracy, get in the way of his groundless qualms that he and his fellow Neocons are the target of collusions. both malevolent and ingrained. So, when flying the banner of anti-vaxism fails to catch emblematic collective fire, there’s always the pennant of culture-war politics to shelter under:   

Say what you will about Catinari, and I most certainly encourage you to do so, he’s definitely a guy who fond of the mendacity medley mashup, that’s for sure. And all of the classico are being played here: absurd conspicuous, unwarranted victimization, and of course, the ever-expanding scheme to set-up Donald Trump by using the nefarious tactic of exposing everything that he says, and everything that he does.

In order of debunking: no, the FBI did not pay Twitter 3.4M to “silence” Conservatives, and even far more indigenous is the fact that Catinari’s post disingenuously amalgamates two distinctly disparate occurrences in rider to cloud the actual issues at hand.

Documents released by Twitter’s current owner Elon Musk, show not only that the FBI flagged Twitter accounts the agency believed violated Twitter’s terms of service, (an action that any registered Twitter user can do) they also revealed that shows the FBI paid Twitter $3.4 million for Twitter’s processing of information requests the FBI made through the Stored Communications Act, which has NOTHING to do with said reported accounts.

Nowhere within the document cache, is there any discussion or demand that information be censored, Conservative-themed posts or accounts be taken down or suspended, or the requirement that any firm of content moderation be applied unequally to those users or accounts of the Right-leaning variety, either.

The documents however, do illustrate the company’s internal pondering about how to handle the Hunter Biden’s laptop story, how it handled the restricting of high-profile right-wing accounts that vitiated the TOS, which in the end, also included the former President, self-admitted adulterer, liar, grafter, and attempted insurrectionist, Donald J. Trump, as well. And once again, NOWHERE is there any mention or demand from the FBI that specific accounts or their postings be suspended or banned outright.

In addition, the internal certification shows that the information requests for which Twitter received said FBI-borne compensation refer to requests for data such as public or “protected” tweets, a user’s direct messages, the email or IP address allied with said account/s, or even the creation date of the account itself, and all of this, only under the clearly defined auspices of the Stored Communications Act. via the form of legal court orders such as subpoenas and warrants.

You knew, documentation that unlike the majority if Catinari’s fever-dreams, can actually be verified? Interestingly, Federal law also dictates that Twitter (and ither like companies) is entitled to compensation for the cost of constructing or conserving such data, to boot. But yeah… this exceedingly well-documented series of occurrences, is still all part of a deeply well-entrenched conspiracy, nevertheless.

As for Catinari’s rejoinder about the “woke” journalists who were temporarily banned for a week until the public outcry became too loud for Musk to ignore, I’d point out that for a so-called proponent of “Free Speech”, as Musk has remolded himself to be, banning said journalists whose only transgression was accurately pointing out his blatant hypocrisy in regards to such, served only to validate it as Gospel, and not as the hearsay that both he and Catinari wish it truly was.

This of course, now leaves us with one last false claim to disprove: the assertion that Pelosi’s staff “coordinated” to stop additional security from being sent to the Capitol on J6. Considering that Tucker has claimed that J6 was a day of ”mostly peaceful chaos”, and Catinari, that the persons involved were “set-up” to do so, an absurdity that I will discuss down the road in a bit, then I must ask this simple question:

Ii you knew that J6 was going to be either peaceful, or the initial step in setting forth a nefarious plan to turn the incident into political prisoners as Catinari pathetically propagates, wouldn’t you make it a specific point to either reduce the risk of an over effective security protocol creating unnecessary conflict or getting in the way of your plans, just as a precaution?

In other words, wouldn’t you have planned for a bare-bones security detail, rather than what was already pre-set in place? Seems strange that the Deep State would roll a “Valkyrie” type plan into motion, then blow it in the last ten minutes before its implementation by forgetting such a key detail, doesn’t it? But what do I know? I’m German, and we as a people, tend to learn from our crucially obvious mistakes.

Well at least by the second time, anyways.

Sadly, for Catinari’s claim of cabal-fomented malevolence, the Speaker of the House is not in charge of Capitol security. That responsibility falls upon the Capitol Police Board, which oversees the US Capitol Police and approves requests for National Guard assistance, as well. In addendum, Pelosi also cannot affect who is appointed to the Board, which consists of the House and Senate Sergeants at Arms, the Architect of the Capitol and the Chief of the Capitol Police.

In fact, not only are the Sergeants at Arms duly elected by the demonstrative political entities that they represent, they must also be confirmed by their said particular chambers, and even the Architect themselves, must be Congressionally dually confirmed to their position, as well.

Former US Capitol Police Chief Steven Sund, testified before the Senate in February of 2021, that Pelosi had no involvement in the security decisions made ahead of January 6, and that he approached both Sergeants at Arms on January 4, to request the National Guard via an Emergency Declaration from the Capitol Police Board.

And even Bee Barnett, director of communications and programs for the U.S. Capitol Historical Society, has stated that; “No one person oversees USCP — the oversight apparatus includes representation from the Architect of the Capitol, the House and Senate Sergeants at Arms, as well as committees from both Houses of Congress,”

So as usual, Catinari, as well as his “source”, is full of unadulterated horseshit, in regards to the veracity of both his clam and the existence of those supposed E-mails that even Google has yet to discover.

A brief aside for my newest BFF: As a noun: RESEARCH [1] Studious inquiry or examination. Especially; investigation or experimentation aimed at the discovery and interpretation of facts, revision of accepted theories or laws in the light of new facts, or practical application of such new or revised theories or laws. [2] The collecting of information about a particular subject [3] Careful or diligent search.

As a transitive verb: RESEARCH [1] To search or investigate exhaustively.[2] (intransitive) To engage in research.

Glad I could threw in the assist Gerry, because it seems that you consistently need one when it comes to the act of separating your paranoid fantasies from easily definable if not  transparently discoverable, reality. As you may have surmised, although while Catinari has the capacity to scour the web for erroneous partisan pretense, in tandem it also appears that he has no idea how to distinguish what’s obviously verified from what’s blatantly not.

Take this revisited example from earlier for instance, regarding the unexpected suicide of prominent billionaire financier Thomas H. Lee, where Catinari for whatever reason, felt the unnecessary need to expound upon his previously already superfluous “thoughts” in relation to a situation that he apparently didn’t bother to explore for one iota past his initial involvement:  

WOW! That IS something. Especially if “they” are saying that Lee managed to successfully commit suicide by simultaneously shooting and hanging himself at the same time. Even I find that suspicious as all get out. Or I would, if such a thing was the case to begin with. SPOILER: it’s not. But how do I know this for certain, you ask? To be fair, the circumstances for my certified knowledge are kind of embarrassing:

Yes. The answer is yes. You DID read that correctly. The article link that Catinari HIMSELF posted, not only says nothing about his explosive claim that Lee’s self-orchestrated demise was the end result of his dually hanging and shooting himself, it also clearly defines exactly what did happen, as I noted with an air of almost giddy amusement to my satisfaction, and Catinari’s later eventual annoyance.

In case you missed it still, Catinari literally just inadvertently displayed incontestable evidence that he hadn’t even bothered to read what he willingly posted as his rock-solid “proof” that Lee’s tragic and unforeseen death, was far more mysterious, if not wholly machinated, past those factors which I previously discussed earlier.

Sad to say though, this isn’t the first time that he’s done this sort of thing, and I dare say that it won’t be the last time either, as he appears to be a creature of cravenly habit, in concern to his apparently incessant need to undergo self-propelled public humiliation, as reinforced by this posting:WOW, WHAT A STORY! Or it would be, “if”… I’m sure you already see where this is going, do you not?

Beating all statistical probabilities, Catinari’s pudding-sharp instincts have led him yet again, to a clearly obvious bear trap, replete with a flashing neon sign that reads; “Don’t stick your spawn-hammer inside this, whatever you do!”, and yet he’s gone ahead and done so anyway, because the ever-so–not-awake mentally-disconnected powerhouse that is Gerry Catarini, isn’t a man who follows the herd of sheep, he leads them.

And in this particular case, that would be right through the openly welcoming dears of a slaughterhouse:

Is anybody else out there, getting the same feeling as myself, that Catinari was that one kid in his high school who had to be repeatedly told not to go bobbing for apples inside the confines of a deep-fat fryer?

Sadder still, is that it took me (according to Google) the total sum of 0.49 seconds, to discover that this story was indeed, 100% false.

The satire site that is the source of this fanciful tale, is known as America’s Last Line of Defense, which clearly identifies its online content as being patently fallacious, and therefore, not to be taken seriously on any logical level. In fact, a vist to their home page, reveals the following info on open display:

“Before you complain and decide satire is synonymous with ‘comedy’: sat·ire ˈsaˌtī(ə)r noun: The use of humor, irony, exaggeration, OR ridicule to expose and criticize people’s stupidity or vices, particularly in the context of contemporary politics and other topical issues. Everything on this website is fiction. It is not a lie and it is not fake news because it is not real. If you believe that it is real, you should have your head examined.

Any similarities between this site’s pure fantasy and actual people, places, and events are purely coincidental and all images should be considered altered and satirical. See above if you’re still having an issue with that satire thing.”

Overall, that should be enough contextual clarity fir anyone whose brain still functions the way Nature intended it to,, but as we’ve seen, Catinari doesn’t place stock in anything that the GQP hasn’t cleared officially with Trump first. But even if you somehow missed that clearly defined caveat, there’s still plenty of obvious signs on the main site itself, that something about this story, isn’t quite right:

First off, there’s the circumstances of the subject matter itself: how in the name of sanity, would Milano supposedly “lose” 13M getting into a personal feud with the planet’s answer to what an allegedly racist and wholly narcissiic Marshmallow Peep might look like? Second, how dumb would you have to fucking be to honestly believe that the article’s author was actually named “Flagg Eagleton-Patriot”?

Catinari level obviously, would be my actually educated guess. This brings to mind a related query: if Catinari and his significant other have ever watched a porn film, did he also accept without question at that time, that the Christian-born name of the lead actor was actually indeed, “Rockhardt Steele”?

But the most obvious giveaway that this is a false narrative, is staring us directly in the face using the in-joke descriptive of  “The Dunning-Kreuger Times”.

For those of us in the know, “Dunning-Kruger’” (AKA “the D-K Effect”) is a cognitive bias whereby people with limited knowledge or competence in a given intellectual or social domain greatly overestimate their own knowledge or competence in that domain relative to objective criteria or to the performance of their peers or of people in general. Remind us of anyone in particular, say Gerry, perhaps?

And while it’s true that “Misery loves company”, apparently so too, does ignorance as well. Who knew?

I have no idea what occurred within the shifting energies of the Space-Time Continuum to bring these two singular dipshits together, but I do get the impression that somewhere in an alternate universe, their visages popularly inhabit toilet paper rolls, and are openly disparaged via highly insulting drinking songs.

And because Catinari’s sense of irony is as well-developed as his grasp on reality itself, he was probably unaware of the humor provided by his posting the below meme, directly underneath the one that I just debunked:

Nevertheless, I do know what you’re thinking right now: sure, Catinari seems to be a world-class ignoramus, or perhaps even a pustular pinhead of near-Olympian proportions, but certainly after finding himself embarrassed by his own misinterpretation, and then bamboozled by a blatantly transparent satirical story, there’s no way in all of New Jersey, that he’d fall for such a ruse again, correct?

To that, all I can say is that your unwarranted optimism regarding Humanity in general, is truly admirable:

WOW! WHAT A… oh heck, you know far too well what’s coming next, and it’s just as you’d expect it to be:

Sigh. It seems that yet again, and despite his being called out several times in concern to his willful inability to undertake the merest of competent research in order to certify any of his claims, Catinari got suckered. However, in his exceedingly limited defense, it was perpetrated by a disingenuous prankster of only the highest caliber. That being of course, THE VERY SAME SATIRE SITE that made him look like a devoted disciple of dipshittery, somewhat earlier before:

I used to once hold, and that with a great deal of personal reserve, the simple faith that that no matter how devolved in intellect that Humanity might become, that there would never arise a person so goddamn dense, that they’d try to lick the beaters of a hand mixer while they were still moving, but after dealing with the mental midget that is Catinari, I’m no longer sure about the validity surrounding this formerly jocular take of mine.

However, it would be quite rude of me to dismiss him fully as a barely sentient and walking rice cake, for after all, nobody is truly a cartoon. As the old saying goes; “Hitler was nice to his dogs”, and all that. But that maxim gets tested when you realize that the addendum of “right up to the moment where he shot one, and poisoned the other”, never gets discussed.

There are shades of subtlety in everyone and to everything, so for me to casually disregard Catinari’s overall intellect could be perceived as being rather arrogant, I think. Just because I uncovered with zero effort, a truckload of ignorance and personal gullibility, doesn’t necessarily mean that he’s quite the dullard, now does it? For that, I would need an incontrovertible piece of evidence from the Universe itself:

Holy fucksticks… he really is a goddamn maroon. I know that Steve Laux, earlier in his insipid commentary. referenced the supposed condition of “TDS” [Trump Derangement Syndrome] that Liberals are allegedly afflicted with, but for the love of Mike Lindell, this is actually what it looks like.

When your guy loses SIXTY-FOUR LEGAL CHALLENGES IN A ROW, and then attempts a coup, it’s way past the time and place where you should have gotten off the train. If you’re still flying the allegorical flag of a disgraced twice-impeached traitor as certification of your allegorical patriotism, I can assure you all that is so not the flex that you think it is.

I mean… Catinari still openly supports a liar, a grafter, an adulterer, a self-admitted attacker of women, a seditious lecher, a dictator-praising… oh, I’m sorry what’ was that you were saying?

Of course, we do. What with it being out in the open and all, but also because and Trump ever the wounded narcissist, literally can’t keep his yap shut about his crimes to begin with. And yet, all of these proven case studies as to Trump’s guilt across a wide spectrum of criminality, passes through Catinari’s intellect unblemished and undigested, as if it were corn passing via the colon of a two-year-old.

As it always seemingly is with Neocons, everything that they do or say, is motivated by hate. If you don’t believe me, just take a look at how many regulations that they’ve drafted banning books, classroom studies, women’s’ body autonomy, and the newest scapegoat, Drag Queens, but not a single line scribed in regards to inflation, skyrocketing feed and home prices, aiding the poor, or helping the disadvantaged.

But they do have plenty to say about payback for transgressions, both real and imaginary:

What a great message of unification and diplomacy, delivered courtesy of the bearded ball of pubic hair that is Ted Cruz. No offense to whomever is calling the actual shits within Trump World, but if you’re going to deliver a threat that you want taken seriously, I’d suggest next time that your champion not be a whiny-ass Beta-bitch, whose spine is gifted with the same tensile strength that Kraft granted microwaved Velveeta.

And as you’d expect, I did have to point that out to Catinari’s bright as a burnt-out-bulb intellect:

As I said, what motivates today’s GQP, is HATE. Regardless of the actions be they peaceful or otherwise, of whomever it is that they are targeting at that moment in time, craven conservatives like Catinari, are just spoiling for a fight, nevertheless. That’s it. In a nutshell. They don’t want positives societal change, so much as they want the comfort of their own self-created chaos.

And if there’s one overriding priority that they have firmly squared away in their so-called minds, it’s to paint themselves as the “real” Americans, and everyone else as seditionary agents, which in and of itself is hilarious, if only for the inadvertent hypocrisy barely disguised within its message of supposed offense:

Once again, and in order of density, let us flay this bitch-fest alive. with all of the mercy it does not deserve. First, America has a number of “socialist” programs in place, ranging from Social Security, to your local Police and Fire departments, so stop using a buzzword Gerry, that you don’t know the meaning of to begin with.

Second, in relation to the “shredding” of the Constitution, your treasonous ex-president said; “Do you throw the Presidential Election Results of 2020 OUT and declare the RIGHTFUL WINNER, or do you have a NEW ELECTION? A Massive Fraud of this type and magnitude allows for the termination of all rules, regulations, and articles, even those found in the Constitution”, so maybe at this point of presenting yet another personal embarrassment, you should just seriously shut the fuck up.

Carrying on, no one has “opened the borders”, for if they had, I can guarantee you that every lawn in my neighborhood would look fantastic, and I’d be getting my morning Chai from one of the six taco trucks that would make it a point to park themselves outside my house, 24/7. They know where the real money is to be made, and that’s anywhere I am, when I find myself with a craving for chile relleno..

Down the road and in a future screed, I’m going to highlight your inherent racism, so for now, you’re just an ignorantly hateful bigot, and that’s all there is to say about that,

As we progress forward, there’s Catinari’s meme-claim that Leftist forces (I assume) are trying to “eliminate our history”, which as we all know is thinly veiled White Supremacy cede for “Them there Blacks are getting all uppity about our racist flags and statues of traitors again”. This level of tone-deaf hypocrisy common from the very same people who are currently demanding that African-American history not be taught in “their” schools, is priceless, if not entirely pathetic as well.

And since we’re already neck-deep in duplicity, why not go into its deep-end by addressing the meme’s whine that same said Lefties are “destroying our values”, as posited by the party that now lauds their indifference to misogyny, racism, homo & transphobia, antisemitism, greed, the suffering of sexual assault and gun violence survivors, as positives towards their building of a conservative legacy.

However, the last claim within this mentally-bereft meme, is truly the part that I like the most: “poisoning the minds of the next generation”, are we, Gerry? Do fucking tell:

Ahh… the joys of childhood. Is there anything more stereotypical of one’s youth, than the experience of being forcefully indoctrinated into a personality cult based in and on, the vilest characteristics of abominable human nature? Nay, says I. And if you think I’m being overly harsh here, just imagine this kid as a teenager, asking your daughter if she’d be his date for the Prom:

Quick show of hands? How many of you out there if you saw this kid on your doorstep, would circle him with salt and then scream bloody murder, until the services of an old priest and a young priest, could be successfully acquired?  Yup. That’s what I thought. I have no idea who this modern-day member of the Hitlerjugend is, but I can assure you that at least one of his so-called parents, is a goddamn awful human being,

Don’t say it. You think that I, with that mention of the Hitlerjugend, just violated the tenets of Godwin’s Law, don’t you? Well, I maintain that I didn’t.

For those of you who may not know just what “Godwin’s Law” is, [AKA: Godwin’s Rule of Hitler analogies] it is a declarative belief asserting that if an online discussion goes on for any length of noticeable time, someone will eventually as a rule, compare someone else to Hitler. Interestingly, the law is surmised of being applicable to tête-à-têtes about any imaginable topic.

And the reason why I don’t feel that I in good faith, transgressed said societal law? This abominable post:

Yup. You read that right. Catinari just compared the Holocaust to the mocking of MAGAts, and did so with a straight face. Metaphorically speaking, that is. For the record, the Nazis murdered anywhere from 15,003,000 to 31,595,000 people, with the average academic consensus diplomatically centering on the tally of 20,946,000 deaths in total.

Victims included men, women, and up to 1,000,000 of this number, were children. Others that were slaughtered wholesale on this notation of Man’s barbarism towards their fellow man, include the disabled and chronically ill, the elderly, POW’s, forced laborers, camp inmates, staunch opponents of the NAZI regime, homosexuals, and those of Jewish, Slavic, Serbian, German, Czechoslovakian, Italian, Polish, French, and Ukrainian ancestry, as well.

And none of these horrific numbers BTW, factor in the civilian and military-related deaths associated with WW2, either but it’s not like Catinari himself “gets it”, or that, to begin with. Maya Angelou said it best: “When someone shows you who they are, believe them the first time.” And the first thing that I believe whereas Catinari is involved, is that despite its humble origins, it is possible to bestow life upon a discount-brand box of Instant Vanilla Pudding, after all.

Tell you what, Gerry: when MAGA supporters are legally excluded from holding political office, when their children are legally barred from attending public schools and universities, legally disenfranchised from their right to vote, legally barred from having sex with or being able to marry a non-MAGA supporter, or can’t be admitted to municipal hospitals, or find themselves required to register their domestic and foreign property and assets to the Federal government, or are forced to sell their business to non-MAGAts, then I’ll start to see that your cause is truly under attack.

When you and your ideologically paranoid ilk are forbidden to be treated by non-MAGAt doctors, or are denied a license to practice law for being a MAGAt, or are forced to comply with a decree that bars you alone from entering a cinema, a theater, sports facilities, and the like, then I might get in bed with your idiocy. If you are ever forcibly forbidden to enter designated “non-MAGA” zones, then I’ll most certainly apologize for implying that you’re an absolute fucking loon, whose blood has been replaced with Orange Kool-Ade, and your brain with a spoiled cabbage.

However, I’m still gonna make fun of you regarding your hat choices, albeit a MAGA one, or the standard tin-foil I think that you’re currently wearing now. And if and when you and your fellow MAGA morons wind up in a place that has a sign like this out front, after being deposited there by the Trump train, I can guarantee that…

…then and ONLY then, will you finally “get it” as to why blindly following an obvious fascist who placed you there when you no longer served his purpose, may not have been the best of your already limited ideas. And just in case you were wondering Gerry, the sign says “WORK MAKES YOU FREE”, which is sort of ironic, because so does thinking critically, and thus far, I haven’t seen you utilize any of that.

As I’ve showcased using Catinari’s own words and postings, Neocons such as he tend to be fueled by a corrosive mixture comprised of unwarranted hate, willful ignorance, and a bizarre psychosis in which they attempt (and usually fail) to play themselves off as being either the triumphant victor or the aggrieved victim of cruel fate, but ,one if my favorites is when they try to do both, and only come off as hypocrites:

May I note that Catinari’s use of a cartoon character that is the antithesis of all that he represents and believes in, is just yet another example of his disconnection from established cultural icons. The odds are that he only saw the message, and knee-jerked it’s hypocrisy into his posting schedule, because as I’ve clearly established, he’s reactive, not proactive. Especially where the area of self-created traps is concerned:

I tells ya’, some days it’s like shooting fish in a barrel. With an ICBM. And all of the fish were dead to begin with

.From my lips to the ears of mythical God himself, I swear that the only thing sadder than a Conservative attempting to claim the mantle of false victimhood, is when they endeavor to do the same in regards to being masters of the moral high ground, as well. I’m honestly not sure if I should laugh at the chutzpah of this, or be seriously concerned for Catinari’s already tenuous grip on certified realty, given its disingenuousness.

If you would Gerry, please remind us all which party it was and is, that burned books in Tennessee, banned a library’s worth in Florida, demanded without evidence or due process, the arrest of its supposed political enemies, introduced bills attacking the LGBTQ Community directly, passes laws allowing more guns to flood out streets and schools, once had a member refer to women as being no more than “earthen vessels”, and oh yes, attempted to overthrow established democracy when it lost the mist powerful seat in the land because its de facto leader is a treasonous man-child?

Because those cats sound like the type of persons that I’d openly classify as “the Bad Guys”. Just sayin’.

For all of his incessantly petulant whining about the injustice he suffers at the hands of persons who’ve  undertaken no such punitive actions against him, Catinari has forgotten the one basic rule that applies unilaterally to all of Humanity’s sins: It is a man’s own mind, not his enemy or foe, that lures him to evil ways. No cabal. No Leftists. No Deep State. And no battalion of the imaginary Woke Warriors Brigade, either.

If Catinari needs to see the true enemy he must fight, then I’d suggest that he take a long deep look into a mirror.

To quote the character of Lucifer Morningstar from the graphic novel series, the Sandman; “Why do they blame me for all their little failings? They use my name as if I spent my entire days sitting on their shoulders, forcing them to commit acts they would otherwise find repulsive. ‘The devil made me do it.’ I have never made one of them do anything. Never. They live their own tiny lives. I do not live their lives for them.”

In essence Gerry, nobody’s treading on you, sweetie. So, suck it up, you delusional blubbercup.

Nonetheless, I can’t really place all the blame for Catinari’s cringe-inducing stupidity squarely on his shoulders alone, especially since they’re already overworked keeping that big block of granite that he wittily calls his head, from throwing off his balance. No, part of the culpability must be set at the cloven hooves of the “news sources” that he acquires his so-called “information” from.

Refreshingly, I’m not referring to any additional satire sites, despite his being quite fond of those, but to be fair, they only represent a truly infinitesimal portion of his daily diet of bullshit. It can be assumed that like mist nattering Neocons, Catinari trolls the standard low-rent Alt-Wrong websites looking for his daily fix of flatulent falsity, but as he’s also allegedly dumber than a tureen if dirt soup, he can’t even get that right.

Take for instance, these screen-grabs of the so-called journalism presented by the main website that Catinari employs to consistently embarrass himself in public, Whereas the stories themselves are obviously politically slanted to no one’s imminent surprise, it’s what they don’t possess, that should immediately catch your eye:

Did you catch it? And if not, how did you miss it?

Call me crazy, but I highly doubt that a knowledgeable and reputable journalistic media concern, would mangle the commonalities of proper grammar, as well as basic English, such as these so incompetently do. And when given that this is one of Catinari’s main sources for fueling his inane ideology, it’s pretty clear as to how he misinterprets the constructs of actual Reality, as he so often does.  

In my estimation, the validity of a thing as it actually exists, is inconsequential as to what Catinari wants it to be, regardless of whether he can prove it or not. And keep in mind, that this is a guy who gets body-checked frequently in regards to the veracity of his so-called proof of theorem. Catinari simply does not learn. Nit from his mistakes, which are multiple and consistent. Not from the corrections related to them, which share the same unity., and most certainly, not from the sources of his patently false or cherry-picked information, either.

And when his “research’ is taken into consideration, it’s clear that Catinari doesn’t get irony, as well:

This blatant cluelessness is so not much a glitch in Catinari’s mental matrix, as it is a permanently installed feature, and it extends far past just his missing the point of the obvious. as this example so clearly shows:

Once again, and with all the due venomous sardonicism i can muster, do fucking tell, Gerry:

Still though, Catinari is indeed actually quite special, whereas his fellow brethren that have come before him are concerned, as unlike the majority of those same said sad Neocons, Catinari is seemingly never educated about anything he obsesses about.

Say what you will about my previous allegorical scratching posts, as mythical Lord knows that I do, but at least I’m confident that the bulk of them can competently tie their own shoes without the aid of a diagram or a YouTube video. Regardless of topic, Catinari just wades in up to that sewer pipe he refers to as his neck, and spouts off whatever he just read on the interweb, as if it were the purest of Gospels.

By way of example yet again, may I offer up his unique take on gun central, unfettered by the confines of history, legislation, common sense, or a basic grasp on how grammar actually tends to work::

Now let me see if I got Gerry’s “point” correct. According to this meme, “Rights” are immune to the advancement of technology which is also in its own unique way, a measure of the passage of Time, as well. I could point out that when the 2A was initially written, the top rate for bullets being fired, was around three or conceivably four rounds in a minute, as the gun itself could only hold one round at a time.

Today’s modern weaponry, such as an AR-15, can fire 45 rounds per minute, but of it is modified with what is known as a “bump stock”, that rate can be terrifyingly increased to 400 rounds per minute, or more.

I for one, have no idea what Thomas Jefferson might have thought if he could have foreseen that down the road, gun violence would be the number one cause of death for children in America, but given the man’s documented nature, I can only assume that he would be horrified at just exactly who it is that so casually wields the power to wage a personal war at the drop of a red hat,, as they claim that they have the unalterable “right” to do so:

Until now, I never thought I’d ever see a photo that captured the very essence of “small dick energy”, outside one of Donald Trump doing virtually anything, but this one just has to stand alone as the all-time champion, hands down. Four handguns, and four additional clips are necessary for you to go and order a sandwich, dude?

Look. I know it’s called “Subway”, but that’s just an easy to remember brand-name intended for a marketing campaign, it doesn’t mean that you’re actually riding on the one located in the heart of NYC, where such an armory can at times, be arguably essential. But gun-cucks like the jackass above, don’t actually carry their alternate penii out of fear for their personal safety, but as a gambit to intimidate others.

Specifically, (and hopefully) gun central advances and the Unites States Government itself.

Take for instance, this melting Vanilla pudding pop, one Stewart Rhodes, who just so happens to be, the founder of an anti-government “militia” group called the Oath Keepers:

Rhodes, seen here describing just how severely his being afflicted with Peyronie’s disease has altered his physiology, was convicted of seditious conspiracy and evidence tampering with respect to the January 6 United States Capitol attack that he used as cover to attempt overturning a free and fair election with his fellow insurrectionists, and as you’d imagine he’s got quite the belief system to justify what he tried and thankfully failed, to do.

Asserting that the federal government is part of an evil conspiracy resolved to husking Americans of their Constitutional rights, extremists such as Rhodes maintain that the 2A is crucial to maintain the allegorical bulwark that keeps freedom-loving patriots such as himself, from being crushed under the hobnailed jackboots of a government that he and his ilk see as being nothing less than tyrannical in its nature, if not its design.

In fact, the very name of the organization hails from the oath of service taken by the military, law enforcement, and other first responders, and whether you previously served, are currently serving, or never wore the uniform to begin with, their belief in honoring that oath regardless of carnage or consequence, is key.

As you may have noticed, Rhodes is also wearing an eye-patch, which of course, is an indication that he at some point in the past, sadly lost his eye to some form of random and unexpected traumatic illness or injury, perhaps suffered at the inadvertent misuse of an official Red Ryder, carbine action, 200-shot, range model air rifle, with a compass in the stock, and a thing that tells time:

As I said… “perhaps”.

Normally, this in and of itself, is not what I would consider appropriate fodder for any form of humorous commentary, and for me to even infer such a horridly unsympathetic response given my own present-day eyesight concerns, would be by all estimations and critical perspectives, abominable at its best. Except that in this particular case, the jokes that I would never dare make, wrote themselves.

Why is that, you ask?

Maybe because the manner in which Rhodes lost said eye, is worthy of some slight mockery, regardless of how sympathetic a person you may be, for as it turns out, this steadfast defender of both American values and an inherent desire to upend them on the marching orders of a madman, had the severely and unintentionally hilarious misfortune to shoot HIMSELF in the face, WITH HIS OWN GUN.

So naturally, he’s definitely not the living theorem as to why we have and require common sense gun control laws in the first place. Honestly, it’s a good thing this ass-clown never merited access to a flamethrower, for if he had, I can only surmise that all would be left of him to remind us that he was ever here to begin with, would be a large crater in a Walmart parking lot, and a smoking pair of slightly charred boots dead-center in the middle of it, after his attempt to scrape gum off of said footwear, went horribly awry.

But Catinari was attempting to make a point, and I do need to address it directly. His avowal is that just because Technology changes, as well as the times we live in, that doesn’t mean that our collective Constitutional rights change as well. An interesting declaration. A challenging cultural construct, if I may be so bold. Perhaps, even the most succinct of synopses that he’s offered up to us all, thus far.

Unfortunately, though for both Catinari’s ego as well as his “argument”, it’s also 100% pure Grade-A bullshit. Not only do our collective Constitutional rights change, they’ve done so with sporadic occurrence over our country’s history, due to the fact that as the Constitution itself is regarded as being a “living document”, the ability to amend it as cultural norms shift, remains a viable option.

And despite the detail that this has only happened 27 times in the 247-year history of our Republic, said amendments have greatly impacted our rights, as I’m about to explain for the benefit of both the layman such as yourselves, as well as the dumb-fucks like Catinari. who if they only knew how to Google, would save their immediate family a lot of regret for not encouraging the once strongly debated abortion to take place as it should have, all those years ago.

To kick things off and in order of their inception, let us review the key Amendments that changed the collective rights of our fellow Americans, an aspect of history that Catinari could have discovered for himself, if he only could figure out how to either correctly open a book, or an additional tab on his internet browser.

To kick things off and in order of their inception, let us review the key Amendments that changed the collective rights of our fellow Americans, an aspect of history that Catinari could have discovered for himself, if he only could figure out how to either correctly open a book, or an additional tab on his internet browser.

First up is the 13th Amendment, which abolished the legality and practice of slavery within the entirety of the United States. You know, the thing that once allowed Americans the right to own other human beings in the same way that they can now own a toaster oven? This amendment was ratified on December 6, 1865, but let’s not all forget, “Rights don’t change’.

Next up, the 15th Amendment, which guaranteed that any citizen of the United States the right to vote, regardless of their race, allowing said former slaves, a voice in their former land of captivity. It was ratified on February 3, 1870, but let’s not all forget, “Rights don’t change”. Following on its heels some 50 years later, the 19th Amendment granted women the right to vote, which finally allowed, in theory at least, some form of cultural equality between the sexes. This amendment was ratified on August 18, 1920, but let’s not all forget, “Rights don’t change’.

To the delight of many, the 21st Amendment repealed the 18th, [AKA: “Prohibition”] and allowed for the sale, manufacture, transportation, and public consumption of alcohol within the United States once more. It was ratified on December 5, 1933, but let’s not all forget, “Rights don’t change’. And then there’s the 26th Amendment, which lowered the voting age to 18, something that today’s modern Conservatives are still mad about, as before this, the voting age had been 21. This amendment was ratified on July 1, 1971, but let’s not all forget, “Rights don’t change’.

Oh wait… it kind if sort of looks like they do. Imagine that.

But as ignorance is far lighter in metaphorical weight than actual intelligence, Catinari is lucky in the fact that when it comes to backing up his talking points, he doesn’t have to work too hard to discover the intellectual heavyweights that lend credence to his asinine conclusions. That’s probably due to the reality that shit floats:

Lauren Boebert, everyone. A woman who, according to comedian Jimmy Kimmel, makes him think that “every time I hear her speak I expect it to turn into stepmother porn”.

In essence, she’s what Marjorie Taylor Greene might have been, if only she could have read what’s been written on her GED. And as this is yet another moron that Catinari relies on for forming his political introspection, I just have to ask the simplest oi questions: “How does Catinari manage to make toast every morning without gravely injuring himself?”

Seriously. I’m 100% truly curious. If anyone out there can formulate a solid guess, email it to me ASAP, because I really need to know. The 2A has always been a rallying cry for the Alt-Wrong, based on the several decades trolling red-meat whistle that “they” are coming to take “your” guns away, despite the fact that no such thing has or is currently happening within these here United States.

If anything as recent mass shootings have shown, the pall of gun restriction overreach, seems to be at its most lax point in years, something that Catinari himself, seemingly addresses with this particular meme, even though as usual, he has to amalgamate it with an unrelated topic, that being the scourge of opioid abuse:

Now, I could go on for days about e effectiveness of gun laws, but as all of that info is readily accessible on the Web, I’m not going to flog an obvious horse with the cudgel of Catinari’s inherent density.

However, I will note, that for all of their petulant posturing about wanting to reduce violent crime, Conservatives don’t seem to possess the faintest interest in eradicating its leading causes: devastating poverty, the lack of educational and economic opportunities, and the aftereffect of justice inequality, now do they? And as said slaughterfests have also proven, they don’t really give a damn about curbing gun violence, either.

Thoughts and prayers over active and effective legislation, anyone? Nevertheless, I will give Catinari some partial credit for being somewhat on board with the regulating of guns for once, just as the 2A actually mentions, within the verbiage that guntards tend to blatantly cherry pick whenever the issue of common-sense gun control is dared brought to the debate table.

For the record, while the 2A does say “the right of the people to keep and bear Arms, shall not be infringed”, it also describes that such armament is for the specific maintenance of; “A well-regulated Militia, being necessary to the security of a free State”, which of course, these penis-lacking loons do not represent or protect, in any way, shape or form. whatsoever.

But as I said, let me give Catinari some partial credit for begrudgingly admitting that keeping guns out of the hands of potentially dangerous criminals, is a key beginning component in hopefully placing the bane of violent crime well on its way to becoming a distant memory, rather than what seems to be an almost daily occurrence.

And here I was, flippantly thinking that Catinari couldn’t see things for as they actually are, rather than how he wrongly perceives them to be. In fact, I’m kind if happy that I could throw Catinari this bone of graciousness, for it could possibly mean that maybe, just maybe, he’s not an entirely delusional…

… you know what? Never mind. He’s an absolute fucking moron, conceivably beyond all previous comparison. Verification of this assessment, as willingly provided by Catinari himself, comes in the form of yet again, another brain-dead post attempting to defend his absurd interpretation of the 2A. and as you probably guessed by now, his evidentiary “source” for such, is the same tad bit questionable media concern from earlier:

Read that again, if you would: ”AT THE TIME IT WAS ENACTED THE [I assume these illiterates meant the “2A”] APPLIED TO ALL TYPES OF ARMS”. Keeping in mind that as previously discussed, the fire rate of a then-modern-day weapon was at best, four rounds a minute, the belief that the 2A is somehow sacrosanct from the process of being amended at any given point in the far future, is patently ridiculous.

As I’ve oft-noted, the concept of a technologically-advanced society being held hostage to the mercurial precepts dictated by a Bronze-Age book of fairy-tales is insane, but then again, so is assuming that we have no choice but to live by the rubrics set on parchment by men who dressed in the manner of persons that some of their modern-day party equivalents, are now passing legislation against.

But leave it to Catinari, a dimwitted demagogue who routinely uses misspelled and grammatically incorrect sources of false and/or selectively cherry-picked information, to phone in the thinnest and weakest of arguments regarding a topic that he barely understands, much less could ever successfully debate:

Now if I were a betting man, I’d wager that it’s probably best to quit when you’re not ahead as a basic rule, but it’s becoming fairly apparent to me at least, that Catinari has ever heard of the maxim that suggests; “Better to remain silent and be thought a fool, than to speak and to remove all doubt”, sage advice which he seems unable to follow, regardless of how many times he crashes and burns because of his failure to do so.

Once again, I present a post that doesn’t provide the solid flex that Catinari thought it was truly going to do:

Well, this is odd. Gun rights got expanded in a country that already has 46 percent) of the worldwide total of civilian held firearms, resulting in an average of 120.5 firearms for every 100 residents. As well as the highest rate of children being killed by gun violence, and an unhealthy belief that owning one somehow makes you a suburban Rambo, and yet, the American crime rate doesn’t go down at all?

I’m sure that there’s no correlation to be found within any of these statistics, right? Faced with this information, I may have to modify my assertions regarding wherein the problem lies with Catinari’s severely limited intellect. I was originally thinking that the deficiency he possessed, had to be firmly centered between his ears, but now? I’m starting to give credence to the thought that it may also be between his legs, as well.  

I could easily point out once more, that according to the collected data available ,an armed citizen only stops a mass shooting event less than 3% of the time, but yeah… I’m sure putting even less regulations between overpowered ordinance and the inexpert hands of the same people who think that the Illuminati controls the weather as well as the Oscars, is nothing less than an absolutely smashing idea.

See: “Kyle Rittenhouse”.  But I did read that he’s a millionaire now, so maybe I should cut him some slack.

Speaking of granting paranoiac weapon-hoarding strangers some emblematic breathing room, one of the common ruses that guntards such as Catinari like to employ, is the argument that gun laws only “hurt” the law-abiding citizen, and not the criminal element that they’re (pardon the pun) targeting. And while nothing could be further from the truth than this, Catinari utilizes it anyway, albeit with a fresh twist:

First off, Gerry: no there were not, as current estimates range from the 2021 mark of 15.2 million hunting license holders, to a possible low of 11.4 million, due to the sport of hunting seeing a decline in its overall popularity over the last five years. The numbers that Catinari is misrepresenting here, seem to originate from a circa 2019 post on the Instagram website, and as is usual with examples of Neocon “proof”, it noticeably lacks the accreditation for just how it established those quantitative numbers in the first place.

And it’s also a worthless talking point, because the last time I or anybody checked the current stats, entire classrooms of our school-age children weren’t being slaughtered wholesale by those with a hankering for venison, nor is said carnage achieved using the standard armaments that deer hunters utilize to acquire their Sunday dinner, either. A reality that I was more than happy to address directly to Catinari:

Rubbish in, rubbish out, is Catinari’s stock in trade, and while it has served him well, if somewhat dishonorably, its also made it damn near nigh impossible for him to best any of his adversarial pundits, due to the realty that even when he actually does have a fact-based argument to draw from, he simply can’t help himself from tainting it with the inane ichor of his asinine ideology:

Dear mythical God. Reading yet another of Catinari’s never-ending false analogy amalgamations, it strikes me as to what must certainly happen after one insists on using a Q-tip, far past the point of its natural resistance. An opinion that I attempted to get across to Catinari, by way of my world-famous trademarked sensitivity:

See? I can be nice when the need for me to do so, arises. But as I close out this secondary facet of Catinari’s to-be-continued story-arc, I’d like to offer up this one last slice of his guntardian “logic’ that he clings to as if it were capable of making his being a walking example of Dunning-Kruger, far less relevant whereas he’s concerned:

Is there anyone out there, perhaps even a survivor of the Sobibor, Belzec, Treblinka, Chelmno, Auschwitz or Majdane death-camp system, that can clearly explain to this gibbering jackass YET AGAIN, exactly just why this analogy in relation to his not-at-all-equal-in-oppressive-severity-whining, is vile beyond all comparison?

For mythical Christ’s sake Gerry, the reality of one not being allowed to freely assemble an armory equivalent to that featured in a “Expendables” movie, is NOT the same as being the powerless victim of an actually documented government-sponsored Holocaust. Not to mention, there will never be a time or situation that will ever present you with even the metaphorical terror of such, you absolutely fallacious fuck-stick.


I say “kind”, because Odin knows, my using the term “smart” would be a waste of an adjective that will never be applied to you. However, my then-response to this idiocy, was far more diplomatic:

Sigh… stupid is as Catinari does, and the reservoir that he draws said ignorance from, is seemingly endless. You’ve heard of the Marianas Trench? Well, meet its immediate competition for what was once considered to be the darkest of depths. Now, I’m not quite yet done sharing Catinari’s flatulent fallacies, but I also think that as I’m presenting a topic that’s specifically toxic, maybe we shouldn’t dive in all at once.

Therefore, I suggest that we take a break for the moment, and when we return, I’ll continue wondering aloud just what kind of person would post something like this without shame ;

… seems flummoxed when he receives this in return, rather than the praise he so pathetically craves:

But hey, as the very foundation of teaching a lesson that actually takes root, is all based on the construct of the undertaking of baby steps at first, I guess that I can’t be too sympathetic overall, if the learning curve ahead for Catinari might be somewhat steep.

But rest assured, I’ll make sure that it’s going to be fun as hell to read.



“The seemingly most hateful, those on the front lines of despair, are mere instruments of sinister forces, which pull the manipulative strings of manufactured supremacy.” – T.F. Hodge


















The Art of Gerry-slandering PT.1 (Morons Away!)

“The emotional appeal of a conspiracy theory is in its simplicity. It explains away complex phenomena, accounts for chance and accidents, offers the believer the satisfying sense of having special, privileged access to the truth. For those who become the one-party state’s gatekeepers, the repetition of these conspiracy theories also brings another reward: power.” 
– Anne Applebaum, Twilight of Democracy: The Seductive Lure of Authoritarianism


Greetings, my loyal Bitchiteers!

How are you all feeling on this, yet another fine day on a progressively disturbing ball of compressed space dust, basalt, and Granite, wrapped around a molten iron core, spinning in an ecliptic orbit around a monstrously immense flaming sphere of hydrogen and helium held together by its own gravity?

And I might add, this is all occurring at an estimated speed of 67,000 miles per hour, or 30 kilometers per second, for you metric-leaning European readers, who at this very moment, are probably wondering where I keep my supply of name-brand Dramamine. Easy answer: it’s in the candy dish shaped like Milla Jovovich on my coffee table, and don’t worry about leaving me short, because I’ve got buckets to burn of the stuff, just waiting to go.

Now at this point, you might all be wondering why I have motion-sickness-pills laid out for guests as if I were a Walgreens’s, but the answer is simple: it’s because when you write about what I write, dealing with the type of people that I deal with, and then share that experience with others, they (and you) may suffer from the feeling that being strapped to the side of a Saturn V rocket, whose guidance control had been switched off, might be preferable to hearing anything furthermore about it.

As the old joke goes; “Some days, you feel like you’re surrounded by idiots. Other days… you realize it’s not only SOME days.” A theorem that I can assure you, is 100% dead-bang true. In my particular instance, and regardless of the day, I am always seemingly up to my neck in a never-ending surge of morons, buffoons, idiots, cretins, nitwits, boneheads, ignoramuses, and schmucks.

Also known as the archetype of both modern-day Conservative leaderships, if not their membership base.

But don’t take just my word for the collective lack of intellectual aptitude on the part of the GQP faithful, especially when I can just as easily let them prove it for themselves. Take for instance, this cluelessness of made flesh, courtesy of one Eileen Vaughn Glancy, who started off our tête-à-tête by informing me that due to my having a political view not based on groveling at the feet of a traitor, that we would “never be friends”, something I assume, that was supposed to crush my sense of self-worth… I guess:

Is it just me, or did you also enjoy Glancy’s protestation of; “I don’t know why you would call me a lummox, as I don’t understand what that ward actually means, nor do I understand that “cultists” and “friends” are plural descriptives as well, so let me look up said definition, and in doing so, prove your assessment beyond a shadow of doubt for anyone who may read this exchange later on”, half as much as I did?

If I may be so bold, I really do enjoy it when my casual use of a five-dollar word, seemingly stupefies those particular persons who at best, possess a dollar-store-grip on their individual intellectualism. I can’t even begin to tell you how much I appreciate the lifting assist, Nancy. Much respect given.

However, such discombobulated dimwittedness, is par for the course, rather than the exception, whereas these possible candidates for a Darwin’s Award may be concerned, although such future accreditation all truly depends on both their personal ambition for achieving success, if not unfettered access to a poorly-maintained wood-chipper. 

Nevertheless, despite the examples set by intellectual ascetics such as Glancy, most of her fellow granfalloons, will never hit the depths of infamous inanity, either due to being just barely smart enough to not stick their heads inside their metaphorical whine press, or because the persons set in place around them are constantly running inadvertent interference on their behalf.

And then, there is the purest distillation of this conditional idiocy taken to the extreme, that being the MAGAts.

But what pray tell, is that, for these among you who may be (surprisingly) unfamiliar with this term? Well, according to the popular lexicon, a “MAGAt”, is a follower of the treasonous mango-man-child known as Donald J. Trump, and it translates literally via its use of disparaging slang as describing such a person to be a “Make America Great Again Terrorist“.

This is of course, a play on Trump’s “Make America Great Again” political slogan’s capitalization, although to be fair in concern to that descriptive, I honestly can’t imagine why that is:

Oh… you know what? Never mind. I totally get it now, I think. However, this is just one example of such behavior, and you can’t base anything conclusive just off of this singular instance, right?

Well, crap. There goes yet another perfectly good theorem, does it not?

I swear to mythical God, these bargain-basement insurrectionists crash and burn so consistently, that if you didn’t know any better, you would have to almost think that these incest-spawns of sovereign citizenry, were semi-professional Icarus cosplayers. Hence the not too inaccurate quip that “MAGA”  should in all actuality, stand for “Morons Are Getting Arrested”, as that seems to be their main group activity these days..

Speaking of which, I’d like to introduce our first asinine appetizer before I get to the main idiot du jour as it were. Ladies and Gentlemen, may I introduce you all to one Michael Fouche, of Woodbridge, VA. Fouche, seen here waiting for the optimal moment when his two remaining brain cells have warmed up enough so that he can embarrass himself online with the fullest of concentration once more, is one of those aforementioned mentally-bereft MAGAts, and you can tell he’s a real patriot, because nothing says that better than posting vlogcasts that nobody watches, in front of the flag whose inferred values he doesn’t follow..

But wouldn’t you know it, not only is Fouche a guy who espouses conspiracy theories as being fact, he’s also a puerile proponent that those who were arrested for willingly participating in the abominably dark events of J6 are not fascistic insurrectionists, but “political prisoners”, being unjustly denied their due course under the laws of the constitutional republic that they tried (and thankfully failed) to overthrow:

Irony is truly lost on some people, is it not? What a sales pitch to the legal authorities: “Sure, I attempted to usurp American Democracy, but now I demand its protections as I await trial for being a traitor”, I won’t speak for you as usual, but the amount of chutzpah it would take to say this with a straight face, is either insane, or ballsy as f**k. Even better, is the argument that Douche (sorry, “Fouche”) makes here, claiming that said J6 turncoats were the poor innocent victims of a cabal that manipulated them into doing it:

Sigh… I’d like to point out, in case I wasn’t clear within my retorts, that despite three years of distance, not ONE J6 defendant has presented, much less proven, that any outside influence, save for believing in Trump’s several times debunked “Big Lie” about non-existent election fraud, prompted them to toss away their futures for a cravenly liar who if the tables were reversed, wouldn’t condescend to piss on them, if they were on fire.

And the fact that Fouche who’s supposedly a veteran, signed up willingly to be on this demagogue’s team, is appalling beyond belief. And I say this, as a person who has not a single jingoistic bone in his body. My country has a myriad of problems, but at no point in time have I ever drawn the conclusion that the best way to solve the issues inherent with its democracy, would be to install fascism in its stead.

To clarify, there were no insidious elements directing the tragically disgusting events of J6, outside of Fouche’s traitorous brethren, and that’s it. No “false flags”, no “Deep State”, and no “Black-uniformed Illuminati” either, just in case Fouche the douche here, decides to throw that on top of the pile. Just a bunch of incestuously gullible dumbf**ks, acting on the commanded whims of a mango-man-child, whoa by the very grace of mythical God, should have been hung by now for the damage he’s done to this country

However, in Fouche’s overview, the laws of the land that he wishes to see under the rule of the Norsefire Party from “V for Vendetta”, are meant for others, and as such, are in no way applicable to those he aligns his morally-decaying ideology with. Take for example, his stunningly hypocritical take on Trump’s illegal possession of classified documents which he initially refused to return, versus Biden’s unforced compliance regarding the same:

Demanded adherence to earned consequence, is one of the top most irritating things that Alt-Wrong dumbasses such as Fouche absolutely despise, but ironically, it’s also one of the first defensive gambits that they’ll throw out at Liberals when they find themselves cornered, and that occurrence, usually by their own argument. For a party that claims incessantly to be all about “Law and Order”, they don’t seem to care for it too much when its gaze is turned upon them.

Newsflash, Neocons? If “it” was wrong for my side to do it, it’s still just as wrong when your side does it, as well. But as it is with most things complicated, there are some key differences at work here in regards to this issue. All of which if I may note, Fouche somehow avoided addressing.

I’m sure that was an accidentally deliberate oversight on his part, and therefore, not hypocritical at all

In overall situ, Fouche is yet another pathetic cog in the molding machine that produces run-of-the-mill vanilla vanguards, and as is true with such persons whose inner cream filling is comprised of paranoia and ignorance, he sees enemies everywhere, and in tandem, a government that wants him left defenseless against such:  
What our paranoid pudding pop is referring to here, is the announcement made by then-acting Attorney General Matthew Whitaker in December of 2018, that the DOJ had amended the regulations of the BATF, clarifying that “bump stocks” were to be defined in the future as falling within the Federal definition of being a machine-gun.

Why was that, you ask? Well as it turns out, the inclusion of such a device in relation to a semiautomatic firearm, allows an incessant firing cycle with a single pull of the trigger.

See the problem now? If not, then you might just be a Conservative who earnestly believes that you as a rule, should have the capability to cosplay Columbine or Sandy Hook, at a moment’s notice. As the late comedian George Carlin once said; “Think of how stupid the average person is, and realize half of them are stupider than that”, and then envision that demographic blessed with the ability to spray carnage tin the same manner that Fouche spews inanity.

Speaking of which, heir’s another prime cut of Fouche’s general density, wherein he somehow manages to combine the aforementioned gun rights issue with the Alt-Wrong battle-whine that the majority of social media platforms are silencing Conservative voices. This is a declaration that I find to be somewhat odd, considering the proliferation of particularly petulant postings I see concerning this self-invented problem:

If I were a true cynic, instead of the optimistic misanthropist that I tend to  be, I might point out to Fouche here, that multiple studies have proven that the very construct of Conservatives finding themselves exiled to the allegorical Gulag of social media, is pure bulls**t:

Other than the fact that private companies such as Facebook, Twitter, Tik-Tok, Instagram and the like, are NOT subject to the governance of First Amendment, they also have clearly defined (more or less) codes of conduct that you willingly agree to when you utilize their platform’s outreach. But you have to admire just how dedicated Fouche is in regards to the Alt-Wrong’s claims of false victimization, nevertheless.

Following that line, Fouche’s over-dramatic avowal that “millions” have been “caused untold pain” by their supposed inability of not being abler to access his archive of goddamn density, is quite possibly, one of the most vainglorious things that I have ever read, and his only other commotion was the modern-day equivalent of Narcissus himself, Donald J Trump.

I mean… seriously dude? Don’t get me wrong, as I’m known for patting myself on the back, but unlike you, my right arm isn’t two feet longer than my left, from my consistently doing so.

On average Mikey, the same three people comment on your posts as if that were their job, and the only pain that they truly endure, is knowing down deep, that much like you, they’re politically impotent. But yeah… “millions” have been denied the intellectual joygasm of hearing you spout upon subjects dusted with your blend of crackpot conspiracies, ideological irrelevance, and your mundane mediocrity.

Better still, is Fouche’s bizzarro intermixing of vaguely stated minority and feminist-based issues supposedly inflicted upon both by democrats, a 70’s sci-fi cultural reference, the issue of bump stocks yet again, and a misrepresentation of an FTC action r-that was brought against Facebook, the end result of which was FB achieving a $1 trillion market cap, after the FTC antitrust complaint was dismissed.

While it’s been obvious from the start of Fouche’s story-arc that critical thinking is so not his forte, it also appears that same ineffectiveness of logicality, extends to his storytelling as well. I’m sure that there was some point that he was trying to make Initially when he started typing out his drivel, but I believe it got lost on the way to his seemingly illiterate fingers presentation of it.

Obsession however, is a demanding mistress, as proven by this three-days-earlier rant/post of Fouche’s, which I can only assume, given its inability to stay on a coherent tangent, was a warm-up note of sorts for the former that I just discussed. Say what you will about Fouche’s ability to be a brain-dead douche, but at least he’s unswerving in his public utterances of mental obesity:

I’m not sure what I truly appreciate more here- Fouche’s flow of no-consciousness ramblings, or the fact that he felt the need to individually number them, as if he were preparing an exceedingly crucial to-do list for whomever this nattering nincompoop was hoping to inspire with this love-note to a future court-ordered psychiatrist.

As I said above, obsession is a demanding mistress. Especially when she refuses to give you the respect that you know down deep, that you don’t deserve, and never will earn.

At his (and their) core, Fouche and his fellow MAGAts are bloodthirsty for esteem, hence their addictive dependence to circle-jerk rallies, the repetition of political slurs, devotion to an odious ideology, a hive mind mentality, and the incessant need to proudly draw a negative reaction from everyone within their purview, as if they were a Vegan, a Jogger, or a CrossFitter, walking into a Los Angeles Starbucks.

While Fouche and his cravenly cabal are indeed wretched in their thoughts, words, and deeds, the one area where they truly slither through the mud, is when they attack those that have in no way, harmed them at all. Previous victims of these societal assaults, include women, African-Americans, and as always, immigrants both naturalized and undocumented, but the new punching bag scapegoat as of late, is the LGBTQ Community, as evidenced by Fouche’s calumniously bigoted post below:

A few minor issues I’d like to address in concern to this testament to homophobic mendacity, if I may. First, the LGBTQ Community is not, I repeat, NOT a collective of sexually perverse degenerates akin to the leadership of Fouche’s chosen political party, and second, it’s fairly obvious that he also has no bloody clue what the act of “bondage” essentially is, because I can assure you, that this quite literally, is so not “it”.

However, let’s take a moment to consider the amount of time that that Fouche, a self-inferred “straight” man, had to personally invest in tracking down this image via a targeted internet search, and then after finding what he required, devoted a few additional minutes more crafting it into a pointless Facebook post, just so that he could let us all know how normal he is, by way of pictorial comparison.

Yup. Nothing there to psychologically unpack. Of that, I am certain. After all, I’m sure it’s a perfectly rational thought process that renders the future challenges of a tragic event regarding a toxic spill that threatens the safety and well-being of a small community, into a targeted attack on a societal one that has nothing to do with either the said event, or anything in regards to it, at all.

Naturally, I just had to comment- if only to satisfy my own curiosity as to why any of this was even presented:

And off course as you might expect, Fouche retorted, but not in a way that came across as the dynamic “flex” that he was obviously  hoping it was going to be.

A small caveat, if (I may: when you’re of the danced age that Fouche most certainly is, referring to yourself with anything other than your actual name, sort of gives the inference that you’re in the process of auditioning for new sugar daddies. Just saying.

Thus far, Fouche has been an odious hors d’oeuvre at best, but as I want to take you to asinine pastures far more moronic, I feel that it’s time that  I end his callous contribution, with one last posting of his that shows us all just who Fouche really is, as well as highlighting the hate-driven political entity that his so proudly represents:

In case you have forgotten, this pathetically tasteless “joke” comes at the expense pf Paul Pelosi, the elderly husband of former Speaker of the House, Nacy Pelosi, who was attacked in his home as he slept by a hammer-wielding assailant. Pelosi, who managed to survive the cravenly assault despite suffering a fractured skull and serious injuries to his right arm and hands, then became the subject of a gay-themed smear campaign by the Alt-Wrong, who while decrying political violence, actually commit most of it.

Fueled by the same inanity that drives Fouche’s ideology, this deplorable incident where an innocent man was almost murdered, is now considered prime fodder for humor in the mentally-bereft sphere that is the MAGAverse, and if anything, just goes to firmly cement in the collective consciousness, just what a goddamned jackass Fouche really is, and what he and his party have now offer the arena of civil discourse.

Venomous stupidity on tap, served as lukewarm as their intellect and sense of Humanity.

Being a terribly ignorant if not spiteful human, and then taking unwarranted pride in it, seems to be a requirement for any lummox that wants to be a card-carrying member of Cult 45, and I must say, that in the 13+ years that I’ve been writing as the “Artbitch”, no one has ever done it quite as proficiently or as proudly as my newest upcoming scratching post, whom I will name in a moment.

This barely sentient, deception-huffing, cowardice-channeling, knuckle-dragging shell of amalgamated human pudding skin and hubris, has it all. And when I say that, I most certainly mean it. Let’s run down the ol’ ideologically Conservative bingo card, shall we? Conspiracy theories galore? The Illuminati says yes. Racist diatribes? Got that white. Anti-LGBTQ sentiments? No friends of Dorothy here.

And don’t you worry, we’ve got the standard misogyny, political ignorance, infantile paranoia propagandist news “sources” and the implied threat of Alt-Wrong valence as well to balance out the metaphorical deck, because if you’re going to be a walking stereotype, you might as well go all the way in, right up to that sewer pipe you wittily call a neck.

It’s almost as if the Writing Gods themselves, looked down upon me from the lofty heights of Mount Vonnegut, and decided amongst themselves that I needed a muse equal to my snark as well as my ability to weaponize it. And boy oh boy, did they deliver the goods with this one, let me tell you.

But before I begin gnawing on my newest of chew-toys, I need to start us off with both a disclaimer and a definition I’ve deemed necessary for the War of Words that I’m about to fire the first shots in, and they both relate to the descriptive adjective of “slander”.

To note, Slander is defined as; ”the utterance of false charges or misrepresentations which defame and damage another’s reputation”, or as; “a false and defamatory oral statement about a person”. As someone whose writing specifically address the flaws of humanity that serve as my story silage, this designation and I have a tenuous relationship at times, hence the reason why, I always make sure that I can solidly back pl what I infer or directly say with incontrovertible evidence.

The reasons for this are twofold; in regards to the first, I loathe disingenuous writing, as I find it to be a cheat of sorts, if not intellectually lazy. Shock for shock’s sake, and all that jazz. And second, if I ever have to go to court over something I’ve written or publicly implied I want to walk out the way I waked in: correct, respected, and infused with an attitude of badassery on temporary loan from Anthony Bourdain himself.

To directly quote the great man himself: “The essence of cool, after all, is not giving a fuck. And let’s face it: I most definitely give a fuck now. I give a huge fuck. The hugest. Everything else—everything—pales. To pretend otherwise, by word or deed, would be a monstrous lie.

So, with this declaration placed out in the open, understand that what I’m about to say based on my most definitely giving a fuck, is that the person that I introduce to you now, one Gerry Catinari of Sacramento CA is, in my opinion, a fully-accessorized simpleton of the lowest caliber.

This valuation I can assure you, will prove itself as being one-hundred-percent true as it is currently certified within the citadel of my own experience, backed up by nothing less than the veracity of Catinari’s soon to be reviled, own words,

Now, if I were the type of person that found myself tempted to use far less gracious terms to define said Gerry Catinari of Sacramento CA, I might be far more inclined to pronounce him as being an absolute fucking idiot, whose overall intelligence could be debatably guesstimated as being somewhere between a urinal cake, and a gallon of the fluid that provides the crucial reason for its very existence.

However, because I just so happen to be most certainly not that type of person, I’ll take the high road for now, and carry forward with the work at hand; that being the sharing of Catinari’s stunning stupidity with the world entire. Or at the very least, my very small and snarkerific slice of it.

But why is such action necessary, you ask? Surely, if Catinari is as big a scheißkerl as I claim that he is, and that I with any luck, will verify him to be, then why bother with him at all? Sure, the possibility does exist that given enough time, he might gravely injure himself by attempting to open a pickle jar using a blowtorch, or by accidentally allowing an original idea to errantly pop into his otherwise unprepared brain, but why leave such a hopeful occurrence to the whims of mercurial Fate?

Certainly, it would be easier. It would most definitely be less stressful. But it also wouldn’t be nearly as fun for me, and that’s always the deciding factor whereas how I ascertain exactly what type of implement that I’m going to use when thinning my garden of allegorical pinheads. Albeit pruning shears or a tunnel boring machine, the selection really depends on just how deep down the idiocy set in bloom before me, has rooted itself.

And therein lies why I do what I do. At this point, I believe it’s fair to say that the stereotypical Liberal approach of appealing to one’s Logic and/or Humanity, simply doesn’t work when you’re facing a cultural adversary who no longer possesses either to begin with.

Being mewingly passive, being unnecessarily diplomatic, willing to accept unwarranted compromise, and playing Devil’s Advocate to the conceptual underpinning of what Free Speech should and shouldn’t allow, is what got us collectively here in the first place, and the only way we’re going to heal the heart and the mind of this country, is if we cauterize the cancer at its’ source: that being the wellsprings of Ignorance, that persons such as Catinari, represent.

I may not be able to win the war against such dimwitted disciples entire, but I sure as hell can cripple some of their soldiers that arrogantly venture onto the societal battlefield, and that’s a fact. Play time is over kids, so lace up your anti-fascist boots and go stomp some allegorical NAZI’s, because mythical God knows, they’re just chopping at the bit to do the same to us all, when they’re finally given the legalized permission to do so.

One point of clarity though? While I in no way, shape or form, wish to imply that Catinari is indeed, himself a NAZI, as “Godwin’s Law” and all that still applies, but the fact that they seemingly use the same dry-cleaners, as well as their tandem in supporting the same political candidates, should probably be kept on the back burner, to boot. As I said, I’ll be using Catinari’s own words and social media posts to bolster my ill-regard of him, and thank Titivillus for once, that there’s quite the selection to choose from:

One-hundred-and-five-megabytes. Over 800 files. And all of it, classified into groups and then additional subgroups, within fifteen separate topic folders; these being:
(1) Conspiracies: General, Health., Political, and “Wackadoo”.
(2) Hate: LGTBQ, Misogyny, Racism, and Violence.
(#) Politics: Anything that’s politically-based that doesn’t fit into the subcategories above.
(4) Social Issues: Abortion, Guns, and the Media.

Keep in mind BTW, that this gaggle of inglorious asininity was effortlessly compiled in just under three months, at a rate of acquirement averaging out to about 20 minutes a day. Catinari may just be, up to this particular point in time, the singularly most obsessively self-owning Neocon nimrod that I have ever written about hands down, and that’s saying a lot, given the strength of competitive field that he’s up against on an hour-to-hour basis.

New, for the sake of clarity as well as your sanity, I’m not going to address all of his sub grouped stupidly in one go, as the sheer amount of it needs to be disseminated in small micro-doses, much in the same way that one might build up a tolerance to say, Arsenic or a new album by Nickelback.

However, I also want to give you a taste of just who Catinari appears to be, and just how his inadvertent role as an abstract, much like Fouche the Douche above, verifies exactly why I see him as being as one of the worst of us. So, to end this latest screed off, I’m going to present just one genius assertion from each of the main group folders, and as this story arc advances in the next pieces to come, only then will I bungee-jump into the rabbit hole in which Catinari’s pathetically wretched psyche resides:

First up, a gem from the Land of the Intellectually Lost, and this one’s a doozy, proffered by a doofus:

I’d like to note that Catinari didn’t refer to Rodgers here as a “player”, but as a “play” instead, which is appropriate, given Rodger’s already well-known penchant for sticking his foot so far into his mouth, that he can give himself a pedicure simply by brushing his hair.

Rodgers, who is literally the reason why the NFL maintains a helmet usage stipulation, has previously floated “theories” about 9-11, “chemtrails”, Inner Earth, the allegedly faked moon landing, COVID vaccines, and yes, even the lunacy that reptile-people hybrids, are an actual thing.

And yet, Catinari wonders aloud why people think football payers are “dumb”? For the life of me, I can’t figure that one out, as not only am I a reptile-person-hybrid whose very blood is the essence of the COVID vaccine, I also own a lovely summer cottage deep in the heart of Middle Earth, just outside of Gladden Fields.
Moving on to the “Hate” folder, but staying with the sports-related theme, here’s a delightful slice of misogyny pie, aimed at United States Women’s National Team star, Megan Rapinoe:

In case you deliberately forgot as Catinari most certifiably has, not only is Rapinoe, a far better human being than he himself will ever be, she’s also far more accomplished, as well.

Not only is she a three-time Olympian [2012, 2016, 2020]; who has taken the Gold as well as a Bronze, she’s also won two Women’s World Cups [2015 and 2019] awarded the title of 2019’s Women’s Player of the Year by the Fédération Internationale de Football Association, and designated by Time Magazine as one of the most influential people of 2020, to boot.

By the way, did I forget to mention that she’s also the only female soccer player in American History to be awarded the Presidential Medal of Freedom, the nation’s highest civilian honor? You would think that Catinari being a true American, would appreciate having someone like this representing “his” country, but as she’s also openly gay, I guess we can overlook such accolades, if only to soothe his snowflake as fuck bigotry.

Next up, the one area where Catinari’s bulb of low intellect, may just possibly glimmer the dimmest: the world of Politics. This arena where he fancies himself as the Lion, and not the Lion’s lunch, is also where the majority of his idiocy, hypocrisy, and conspiracy theory, and general falsehoods are based. but for new, I’ll just share this blatantly unaware take on America, sans its actual History:

I’m guessing America is pretty great”, says the guy who openly supports the democracy-usurping insurrectionists of J6, and who with that one sentence alone, disavows Jim Crow laws, 400 years of slavery. Inherent racism, the continuing scourge of income, educational, and occupational inequity within the minority class, as well as their limited voting access and the problems of gender inequality relating to personal body autonomy, and let’s not forget the ongoing attacks against the LGBTQ Community, but yeah Gerry…

… I guess America is “pretty great”.

Thankfully, we’re almost done with this initial tasting menu showcasing Catinari’s war against all things verified, and capping it off, is the seasonal refrain of unfounded victimhood that we’ve all come to rely on as if it were the airing of “The Grinch Who Stole Christmas”. Except that in this case, the allegorical problem at hand is both imaginary and self-serving, much like the character of the Grinch himself:

I’ve said it before. I know I will have to say it again. Conservatives play the victim so much, I’m surprised that at this point, a CSI team doesn’t follow them 24/7 everywhere they go.

Yes, Gerry. “We” can no longer say “Merry Christmas” in public anymore, and referring to a Christmas Tree as such, is akin in the eyes of us woke warriors, as being equal in offense to one audaciously asking that their Latte be steamed using whole milk, rather than the far more Eco-conscious Soy.

And for the love of mythical God, don’t even get me started on what will happen if you dare refer to them as “Gingerbread Men”, rather than the politically-correct epithet of ”Gingerbread-persons”. With no due respect, my paranoid pile of human skin pudding, the only thing that’s ever been verboten for you to say whereas Christmas is considered, is what you really think about your Mother-in-Law’s cooking, and how her brother Fred shouldn’t be left unsupervised around the drink cart, and that’s it.

However, did you also catch the sledgehammer-subtle touch of xenophobic racism at the core of this unjustified hissy-fit, as I did?  To quote directly; “If you don’t like our “customs” and it offends you so much then LEAVE… I will help you pack“. Two takeaways from this, the first in reference as to who this jackass thinks that they need to leave because they are ardently opposed to saying “Merry Christmas”, and second, does anyone truly believe that a self-righteously dense Conservative, would ever help a total stranger with anything?

It also strikes strange does it not, that people who consistently complain about Liberals classifying everything in sight with uniquely specific terms, would get so ridiculously upset about a generic Yuletide greeting. Nevertheless, there is a middle-ground to be found in concern to this situation, and it comes courtesy of Saturday Night Live’s Michael Che, who once joked; “Don’t think of it as me saying “happy holidays””… think of it as me saying all holidays matter.”

And with that savagely accurate rejoinder in place, I think this seems an apocopate place to bookmark Catinari’s upcoming stray-arc for now. And when I pick back up the frayed threads of his so-called intellect, I’ll be doing so in the place where his ignorance and paranoia produce idiocy such as this:  

Oh Gerry, you abominably stupid simp, we already knew what’s truly “wrong” with America, and it ain’t just Facebook. But thanks to your words, your posts, and your willingness to share them with the world entire, we’re going to figure out just what or who I should say, is really the problem.

I can only wonder where in that hierarchy of the obtuse, you’re going to place. I guess we’ll see.



“Why do we love the idea that people might be secretly working together to control and organise the world? Because we don’t like to face the fact that our world runs on a combination of chaos, incompetence and confusion.” -Jonathan Cainer











Lloyd of the Lies. (Duck and Blubber).

“We do not have to visit a madhouse to find disordered minds; our planet is the mental institution of the universe.” – Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

Greetings, Bitchiteers!

If you’ve been reading my screeds for a while, I think it’s fair to say that I write far more about the subject of politics these days, rather than the aspects of the creative arena from which my writing pseudonym [AKA; “Artbitch”] originally sprang. This is due in no small part, to the fact that my current Lair of Snarkitude is located just outside of a small town in the idyllically pastoral setting that is Southern New Mexico.

(Mot the lair that I have, but definitely, the lair that I most certainly need.)

This is not to say that there’s nothing “artsy” to write about here, but at best, it would have far less appeal to anyone outside of the sparsely populated county that I currently live in, and I honestly don’t mean that as a derogative descriptive. And unlike the previous culturally cynical carnival I was part of for the better part of two and a half decades, the well of written inspiration waiting to be tapped, is not nearly as deep for an introspective overview as I would require to craft a good read.

Hence, the slide over to politics. the never-ending row of shark’s teeth that can be easily rendered into screeds, if not effective countering swords against the rising tide of flaccid fascism currently vexing this country. I’ve oft had it asked of me why I “do what I do”, and there’s an easy answer courtesy of sci-fi author Tiana Dalichov, who noted in her novel “Agenda 46” that; “You attack to protect, not to avenge. You strike to end suffering, not cause it.”

This, without any notation of self-aggrandizement, is what I try to do, every time I open my laptop, and present my thoughts via the pixilated page.

This, without any notation of self-aggrandizement, is what I try to do every time I open my laptop, and present my thoughts via the pixilated page. I don’t always succeed, and sometimes I feel that my efforts are akin to spitting into the proverbial wind, but I continue on nevertheless, despite the research required, the occasional interaction with the intellectually-bereft, and the oft-painful reality that even after successfully parrying some of the inaner commentary from same said MAGAts, my expression usually looks like this:

And if this is me contemplating a small victory, you can only imagine what I must look like on a day when I’m so ticked off that I could shack on a box of nails, and spit out a barbed wire fence. A state of mind that as Time marches forward, is becoming more of a commonalty, than a rarity these days.

The seemingly endless flow of dimwitted disingenuousness runs both high and wide, and as it does so, only the detritus of what it has destroyed remains behind to tell its tale, mythical God help us all. This venomous volatility, stems from the inflicted influence of Trumpism that has corrupted not only the modern-day Conservative movement and its adherents, but the very soul of this country as well.

Need some evidentiary proof that America is experiencing a wave of delusional dipsh***ery from the top of the power structure on down? Well then, feel free to peruse this slice of political amnesia from one of its most devoted disciples, the ever-graveling Trumpist boot-licker, known as US Representative (R-TX) Chip Roy:

Because I’m a fully functioning human whose mental processes work the way that they should, I’ll give you a moment to contemplate the asinine absurdity of Roy’s pathetically brazen hypocritical amnesia, that’s so cravenly on display here for the world to see. I swear to allegorical God, that if Trump’s dick were any further down this toady’s throat, it would like he had a prehensile tail.

I’m kidding of course, for as we all know thanks to the input of adult-film star Stormy Daniels, Trump’s gear can’t extend itself past the average persons’ molars, but you get my point.

If Roy’s name sounds even remotely familiar, it might be because back in March of 2021 at a hearing regarding the increase of hate crimes directed at Asian Americans, Roy said the following: “We believe in justice. There’s old sayings in Texas about ‘find all the rope in Texas and get a tall oak tree, You know, we take justice very seriously, and we ought to do that. Round up the bad guys. That’s what we believe.”

This vile commentary BTW, was uttered mere days after eight people, six of whom were Asian, were murdered in Atlanta, the victims of an abominable hate crime.

When given the chance to retract or modify his putrid articulation, Roy instead doubled down, releasing a statement that declared:  “Apparently some folks are freaking out that I used an old expression about finding all the rope in Texas and a tall oak tree about carrying out justice against bad guys. I meant it. We need more justice and less thought policing, We should restore order by tamping out evil actors, not turn America into an authoritarian state like the Chinese Communists who seek to destroy us, No apologies.”

But when it came to Trump’s attempted insurrection on J6, all Roy had to say to White House chief of staff Mark Meadows via text on that day, was the following: This is a sh*tshow, Fix this now.” This plea came after previous texts to Meadows in which Roy stated; “If you’re still in the game… dude, we need ammo. We need fraud examples. We need it this weekend”, as well as; We need a controlled message ASAP,”

However, when these texts were made public, Roy took his standard approach of crafting arrogant hypocrisy into condescending flesh, saying; “No apologies for my private texts or public positions – to those on the left or right. I stand behind seeking truth, fighting nonsense, & then acting in defense of the Constitution.

This patriotic declaration, courtesy of an alleged public servant of the people, who’s seemingly down with the act of lynching a select few of them, but I digress.

Nonetheless, while I obviously disagree most strongly with Roy’s cravenly attempt to rewrite a historically factual narrative that was quite literally, archived in real-time, his selectively retrieved utterance still rings far more eloquent than the nearly incoherent rant offered up to us all, by this dedicatedly dimwitted member of Cult 45. Bays and Girls, may I introduce you to the pride of Pocono Summit, PA, the one and hopefully only, Debbie Nowicki Harshbarger:

Speaking as a professional writer, I must admit that I’ve oft-wondered just how freeing it must be, to write out a thought that’s so delightfully unbound by the confines of logic, as this one most certainly appears to be.

And given the pure Homo/Transphobic vibe inherent within it, I’m not sure if the late author Anthony Burgessis looking down upon us, or to be more accurate, looking up at the same, but either way, he must be so jealous right about now, watching a mere amateur boldly steal his thunder outright..

New, I do know what you’re thinking: while yes, this is a pristine example of what happens when a failed public education falls madly in love with a family tree that’s sans branches, but nevertheless, let’s try to see the upside to this cornucopia encompassing the resultant tatters of a confused thought process. I briefly introduced Debbie No-wits-ki Harshbarger here in my last screed, and I must say that her political takes are like a gift from the Writing Gods themselves.

Are they proudly ill-informed? You bet. Delusionally paranoid as well? Without question. And even though we don’t know exactly what prescription medication Harshbarger is allegedly abusing to come to these insane conclusions of hers, the one thing that I think we can all agree on, is that by comparison alone, it makes Crack look like a cheese danish:

I hate to quibble over the small details here Debbie, but would it be rude of me to remind you that the Nazis and the Communists, were politically opposed to each other? They literally went to war over it, you absolute f**king lummox.

Burt let’s give Soros some overdue credit, as I seriously don’t know how he does it all at his advanced age- rigging elections, running the Deep State cabal like a fine Swiss timepiece, composing all those songs for Nickelback, and that’s not even taking into account all the lunches with Satah that he has to attend, if only for the sake of his appealing to the democratic faithful.

Oh, I’m sorry… did I forget to mention Satan’s influence upon us Leftists? Well, don’t you worry, because No-wits-ki has that base fully covered:

I won’t speak for you of course, but if Satan is indeed going to be the keynote speaker for the Democratic Convention, I for one, would like to know just why he couldn’t book Norwegian black metal band Mayhem to be the evening’s musical guest. Seriously Lucifer- it’s bad enough that you haven’t directly inspired a good Metallica album since the “Black” one, but this oversight is almost unforgivable.

However, there’s no need to fret if you were hoping for the classic conservative hits and tropes, because No-withs-ki has those playing on a continuous loop in her otherwise empty head. To start, there’s the traditional gambit as already expressed above, of comparing your imagined enemies to being no less than the heir apparent to either Communists, or the Nazis, in both word and deed:

And if this pathetically abominable analogy fails to land the political sucker punch that you were hoping for, then just move post haste, to yet another well-worn conservative strategy of deflection, that being the amalgamation of two completely unrelated, yet equally insane, modern-day conspiracy theories:

Now when that fails as well, due to the fact that it’s laughably impossible to logically defend on any level, then switch gears once more, and go after the villains that are the ones truly responsible for holding America as well as its citizens hostage to their mercurial and cruel whims.

You know who I’m talking about, right? The one, the only, the “ELIETIST” A shadowy cabal, made up of Globalists that are so cunningly evil, they misspelled their organization’s name on purpose, so that even with the use of Google, we still can’t find their headquarters:

Once again, I find Harshbarger’s lack of punctuation, if not the need to all-cap everything mentioned within, quite refreshing. The rest of her unhinged rant masquerading as commentary, is the purest of garbage to be sure, but the spirit of it overall, is as stereotypically hypocritical as such a taken position can get.

Personally, I’ve always loved how the party that grovels at the feet of corporations and billionaires, paints itself as the representatives of the working-class while brazenly slurring with venomous mockery, those who actually endeavor to lessen the burdens placed upon us all by the actual elite. However, since almost every statement uttered by modern-day conservatives these days tends to be either projection or confession, I’ll just give it a charitable pass…

… for now.

Sadly, I could literally harvest an entire series of screeds from the insanity garden that serves as Hershberger’s mental citadel, but as I need to move along with this, the newest of my literary excursions, we’ll just close her story-arc off with one last slice of No-wits-ki’s particularly vulgar brand of dimwittedness:  

Say what you will about Hershberger’s full-blown delusional take on the world entire, but someday she and it, are going to make a hand-picked team of physiatrists ether very well-known, or exceedingly wealthy beyond their wildest dreams off of the movie rights alone. But Hershberger faces some seriously stiff competition in regards to maintaining her grip as a top-level Alt-Wrong Wackadoo, and surprisingly, it comes from a guy who looks like this, and yet, still had the inner confidence to share his not-creepy-at-all-70’s-serial-killer-vibe, with us all:

Ladies and Gentlemen, meet the man behind this “The Hills Have Eyes” selfie, one Russell Ward Matthews of Athol, MA. Interestingly, the nickname for Athol is “Tool Town“, due to its economy being largely based in industrialism, but it’s also somewhat ironic considering what a “tool” Matthews seemingly appears to be, when you look at some of his finer intellectual observations, especially in regards to cultural issues, such as validated race-based mistrust of law enforcement:

Yes, my racist russet potato analog, only “criminals” hate the police, and nobody else. Especially the demographic that suffers most due to their consistent abuse of power and legislative protection.

I tells ya’, there’s no better counsel to take into consideration, then the one offered up by a potentially bigotry-afflicted dude, who looks like he spends his free time surreptitiously hiding in the shadows that surround a child’s playground. I’m obviously kidding of course, but if Matthews can blasely judge people by the color of their skin alone, then I in tandem, can judge him by every single “stranger-danger “poster that I ever saw as a kid.

However, there is the very slimmest of probabilities that I could be wrong about Matthews allegedly possessing more bigoted bones than a Confederate cemetery, because after all, it’s not like he’s the type to consistently post truly ignorant declarations making light of the horrendous struggles of African-Americans, right?

Well, in his limited defense regarding the ostensibly racist whine presented above, he did once post this:

Now, while I’m not a person of faith on any level, there actually is a nice message within this rather simplistic assertion, that being, only “Evil” deliberately separates people into specific boxes, and “Good” in all of its essence, does not.  “God” IS love after all, and the knowing of this concept, it not the steadfast belief in this mantra, would, and this most certifiably, not allow anyone to post the following asininity, or so you might think:

And this abomination of detached humanity, conveniently served up in one pathetically cringe-worthy cartoon, is sourced from (who else?) the favorite Replacement Theorist of people whose family tree resembles a chain link fence that gets taller with each subsequent generation, America’s performatively outraged Wedgie Salad, Tucker Carlson. You know, the White Pride Piper with the obsessive M&M hate-f**k fetish, as displayed here?

Tucker, who recently informed us all that; “M&M’s will not be satisfied until every last cartoon character is deeply unappealing and totally androgynous. Until the moment you wouldn’t want to have a drink with any one of them. That’s the goal. When you’re totally turned off, we’ve achieved equity; they’ve won”, made sure that like most of the Caucasian Cowper’s fluid that dribbles out of his mouth, his post covered all the tropes that White Supremacists happily pleasure themselves to, in-between their 3a.m. front-lawn barbecuing get-togethers.

Laid out here before us, is a racist trifecta that we have yet to sample, but as it is with all things paranoid-based, I can assure you all that it generalizes the underlying issues of societal issues, and demonizes that which was manufactured out of ignorance and hate. And the reason for this, is just so inane pin-heads like Matthews, finally have a range of desired successes to scratch off their wretched bucket lists.

To start, did they unduly slur the reputation of a well-respected African_American Congressman? You bet they did! Did they also paint his district as a dystopian urban hellscape without addressing exactly why that is, past veiling it under the specter of passive-aggressive racism? Sure thing! And most importantly of all, did they manage to squeeze in one last swipe, implying that undocumented aliens get a free ride?

Congratulations, my Vanilla Vanguard plebes, you’re now officially racists! Here’s your complimentary Anthropologie discount card, a case of Miracle Whip, and an erroneous sense that everyone but you, are actually the problem with everything that you find to be uncomfortable, objectionable, or misunderstand.

And if I may be so bold, nobody seems to get it so pointlessly wrong quite in the same way that Matthews manages to do here with this pointlessly puerile post, which if anything, only reinforces my opinion that while not every person whose part of a family tree gets to meet their ancestors, Matthews has most certainly had the unfortunate opprobrium of knowing just exactly who his “incestors” were:

Does anyone else get the feeling that Matthews was born in the wrong era? Not the one depicted in the film “Mississippi Burning”, but the one so iconically conceptualized in Stanley Kubrick’s masterpiece “2001”, where the man-apes are hooting unrestrainedly as they dance around the Black Monolith?

Earlier above, Matthews opined that only “SATAN SEES RACE”, but if that’s true and as he’s not charming enough, smart enough, or interesting enough to be the actual fallen Lightbringer himself, I can only assume that they either both share the same optometrist, or at the very least, the same set of contacts from time to time, for Matthews to be this inadvertently hypocritical.

Regardless, far be it from me to depict Matthews as being nothing more than just an alleged run-of-the-mill racist, for this cat has got quite the range of mental obesity in concern to the crafting of his rampantly abject stupidity. Of that, I can assure you. For instance, he’s also rather the fan of nonsensical conspiracy theories as well, not that the revealing of such an affinity, should shock anyone even remotely familiar with today’s modern-day GOP.

Granted, while the promotion of the facially insane is seemingly the cornerstone of the ever-increasingly disturbing psyche of the conservative movement, even I have to admit that this one’s still a doozy:

For sanity’s sake, I won’t rehash the myriad of reasons why this is both erroneous and delusional, as I’ve covered this particular topic in depth previously, but I will address it once more, nevertheless.  

Speaking only for myself, I harbor serious reservations that a man who brags about sexually assaulting women, who twice wishes “well” upon a procurer of a pedophile before her trial for the same, and who has one of the lowest prosecutorial rates for sex trafficking in Presidential history, is going to serve as the judicial juggernaut that moves the allegorical goalposts as far as they need to be. Call me cynical.

And I’m not entirely sure who “They” are, but if a cabal with a so-called secret agenda, and supposed overseer power as to how things above and below the line of sight are run within this Republic, can’t hide their simplest machinations from a lummox such as the one Matthews most certainly appears to be, I for one, wouldn’t consider them a virulent threat to anyone on any level, save for possibly themselves.

Not to mention, the thought that a man who sells snake-oil as naturally as he slurs dignity, being the champion of applied Justice in general, is as believable as my ever getting over the fact that in all probability, the same “they” Matthews rants about, are also probably the ones that greenlit “Highlander II: The Quickening”, as an act of revenge against the art of competent film-making.

But if I were to give credit where it’s due, Matthews, who finds himself willingly becoming even more disconnected from actual Reality as we collectively all perceive it, does fulfill his role as an obedient lap-dog of the conspiracy-fueled GQP, by disseminating their lunacy as if it were manna for morons:

I always do so enjoy how people who consistently can’t spell the basic word “you’re’, suddenly become a cross between Johann Von Schonenberg and Stephen Hawking, when their quasi-Christianity is melded with an aspect of Anosognosia. As my brain works the way that Nature intended it to, I’m not entirely sure how the installation of the Antichrist on earth is supposed to work, but I can think of far better candidates for the job than Joe Biden, and not too surprisingly, most of my picks are Republicans.

Not out of any form of political bias mind you, it just seems like they’d be the best group to recruit from, if you needed experienced people to manage an odious empire built on a foundation of lies and human suffering. The amalgamation of quasi-Christianity with sheer delusion, is almost a standardized trademark so far as the Conservative movement is concerned, but as it is with all things virulently toxic, this inability to grasp actual Reality, lends itself quite usefully to the act of placing stock in that which is obviously insane:

Goddamnit, why am I always the last person to find out about the cool stuff? Especially when it’s far too late for me to take advantage of it? I mean… here I am, with a perfectly good list of need-to-be-murdered candidates, and the perfect cover for doing so, passes me by without so much as a word. That’s just plain rude, no matter how you look at it.

Sigh. I guess now that the opportune moment has passed, I’ll never be able to test out my theorem of just how far Kevin Sorbo might fly when I, using nothing save for the services of a rocket-powered trebuchet, launch him into the stratosphere located just slightly over the Grand Canyon. You know, as a tribute to both the late Evel Knievel, and the principles of unwilling aerodynamics?

Once again, I do so enjoy people who despite their not having cracked open a book since high school, have still managed somehow, to weave together the gossamer-like threads of a conspiracy so Machiavellian in its inception, that even the fictional nemesis of Sherlock Holmes, Professor James Moriarty, would require no less than a String Theory Codex to make sense of it.

Given the postings above, it’s disturbingly transparent Matthews’ repeatedly expressed delusions may necessitate at some immediate point in the hopefully near future, that a competent mental-health professional takes some form of targeted interest in them, to say the very least. But Matthews, being the truly unencumbered by Logic free-thinker that he is, has other options in so-called mind. Namely, internet quizzes.

For those of you who may not be in the know, I’m referring to those uncontestable online “What (blank) are you?” self-help questionnaires, that despite their status as once being the sole province of one-wang-Willamina’s-from-Wichita, now serve as the Sages that help guide the voices in Matthew’s otherwise empty head:

Russell “saw the Whale”. Therefore, he is “impossible to manipulate”.

Or so says this meme, which call me crazy, doesn’t really seem like it would meet even the lowest standards applied of a true psychological test. That is, save for the one that seeks out those afflicted with the Barnum Effect, which is a phenomenon wherein occurs individuals believe that (so-called) personality descriptions apply specifically to them and them alone, despite the datum that said portrayal is actually filled with information that equally applies to all.

So, all that stuff he posted regarding suggested racism, insane conspiracy theories, and the suggestion that Joe Biden is affiliated with the Antichrist, that you just witnessed with your own eyes? Well, you’ll just have to discount all of that, because Russell has definitive proof via an illustrated whale, that he can’t be manipulated  by anyone.

Save for the mango-tinted genius he salivates over of course, who bragged in a 2021 interview with Fox News medical analyst Marc K Siegel, that not only did he “ace” his Montreal Cognitive Assessment, a test that starts with the question; ‘is this an elephant?’, but he also repeated the words, “Person. Woman. Man. Camera. TV” in correct order as well, and to the “amazement” of the doctors in attendance.

According to (and nobody else) Trump, “they” said “nobody gets it in order, it’s actually not that easy. But for me it was easy. And that’s not an easy question”, with such an air of supreme overconfidence, that one might have thought that he had memorized all of his kids’ names instead. And that even includes Eric.

He then claimed this stunned throng then asked of him; “That’s amazing. How did you do that?”  Trump’s response was characteristically humble: ‘I do it because I have like a good memory? Because I’m cognitively there.’”

Sure, you are, Donny. Just like I am now, standing here in Milla Jovovich’s bedroom, patiently waiting for our weekly whipped-cream massage session to start. The test in question that our former toddler-in chief was gushing about, is an exam given to people who are in the early stages of dementia, as a means to determine just how far they may have mentally declined.

An actual cognitive test, BTW, is far more detailed, takes quite a bit more time than the ½ hour Trump noted for his, and is actually undertaken with the direct assistance of specifically trained experts in the field. Medical professionals that down the road, Matthews will have more than a passing association with as the spoiled cabbage that currently masquerades as his brain, continues on its path to inevitable deterioration.

Evidential proof of my assessment for the future, is borne out by this last “thought” of his, wherein he sets the record straight for all, by offering up this dripping with clueless irony observational take that;

Yes, Russell. Democrats do lie on TV. As do Libertarians, Anarchists, Mercenaries, Newscasters, and lastly, Republicans as well. However, Democrats aren’t the ones pushing fantastical conspiracies as Gospel, Racism and Misogyny as principal values, and unmitigated treason as a form of acceptable counter-protest.

And I might add, we also don’t take our marching orders from a traitorous Oompa-Loompa either, so when it comes to debating the issue of political ignorance, maybe your certifiably so ass, should just sit this one out.

However, at one point in the back-and-forth interaction between Matthews and myself, I did have the glimmer of hope that he had indeed come back around to the world of logical reasoning, but as it turned out, the popping noise that I thought was him pulling his head out of his ass, turned out to be yet another one of his brain-cells offing itself with severe prejudice, rather than face the indignity of processing yet another asinine assertion of his.

Moving on, while the world of online political partisanship does have more than its fair share of outright loons, such as the ones that I’ve already shared with you, the majority of the party faithful that comprise the centralized core of the Alt-Wrong creed, are at best, just your average intellectually-cucked bargain-basement morons.

For instance, take into consideration this shining example of an asinine kindergarten-level taunt made flesh, the babbling bouillabaisse of humanity, that is Shawn Michael Gibbons of Massillon, Ohio:

Shawn, seen here seriously contemplating if the ensemble he’s wearing is too formal for his local Waffle House, is in his late forties, a proud father of three, and given this truck-based selfie, a descendant of a family tree that I can only assume must be a Palm, because it’s been alleged that.it has no branches, and that all the interrelated family members, are fronds with benefits.

That’s obviously a tasteless joke of course, as I have no idea what the actual lineage of Gibbons truly is, but it’s also as equally clear via this missive sent to me via FB Messenger, that a wordsmith, he is not:

I tells ya’, there’s nothing like finally finding out for certain, exactly just what happened to that kid in your homeroom class who was impossible to underestimate. Given the fact that Gibbons would be out of his depth in a parking lot puddle, I guess I can’t really fault him for being as useful as a chocolate teapot, when it comes to representing the best that the Alt-Wrong ideology has to offer us all.

To be fair, Gibbons did spell the word “you’re” correctly, in a refreshing change of pace for those of us who consistently deal with the members of a cult that appear to be functionally illiterate, but answer me this, if you will: why is it, that these Conservative cucks always come off as if they only have two brain cells left, and both are fighting to secure the rank of being in third place?

Granted, being able to hide your own Easter eggs does have some benefits, but Gibbons isn’t that particularly interesting enough to expound upon at any measurable length, as he’s just a sampling of the demographical intellect level one should expect from the petri dish that’s fermented both inanity and insurrection into not only a means of self-identification, but a political ideology, as well.

Sadly, Gibbons here, made the miscalculation of (pathetically) launching an attack in defense of another of his brain-dead brethren, from within what he thought was the relative anonymity of the very internet itself. However, when it was made patently clear to him that he wasn’t hidden half as well as he thought he was, he hastily retreated back under his rock, in the manner of the weak-ass bitch that he erroneously believed that he could slur me as.

Newsflash, Shawn? I’m the “Artbitch”, not the Shawnbitch”, but thanks for playing, nevertheless.

So, who was it that Gibbons endeavored (and failed) to protect from the interest of yours truly? Well, that would be Lloyd Morton Sr, a gentlemen form the township of North Lawrence, Ohio, who in my opinion, proves yet again the maxim that if you build it, they will come. Unfortunately for us as the progressive society we want to be, the only thing that Morton has ever built, is a monument to mental mediocrity whose very walls were built out of unsold MyPillows and Trump steaks.  

And as it always seems to be with all persons Conservative, Lloyd, like the majority of his fellow “I’m not in a cult” declaring cultists, just can’t help but show us all who they really are, and that, pretty early on:Conservative “humor”, wherein the slandering of Women, Muslims, and Minorities, can all be successfully accomplished in one go. The ultimate of hat-tricks Nevertheless, I don’t want to paint Morten as harboring any of the stereotypical racist tendencies so prevalent in today’s GOP, on any level, as that might be considered by some, to be no more than an act of somewhat self-righteous overstepping.

However, when he’s already doing a far better job of it than I ever could, why would I interrupt him in doing so?

Dear mythical God, you can literally feel the cringe of this, regardless of your current location, can you not? If you’ve ever wondered why there are no truly successful conservative-leaning comedians, here’s your answer. While it is true that most comedy comes from pain, it’s also true that the humor therein, comes from one’s experiencing it, rather than inflicting it upon others.

Every time I read something this stupid, I ‘ve had to give serious pause as to how it is that these f**king morons haven’t attempted to reheat pizza in their bathtubs with a plugged-in toaster. While I do understand the valid concerns in regards to having what appears to be an unsecured border, I’m also a realist in the sense that terrorists aren’t going to walk across a desert, when they can just as easily, fly coach into JFK or LAX.

I know this may come as a shock to Morton’s bigoted sensibilities, but anyone who straps on a backpack and then walks several thousand miles to come to a country that they’ve only heard about, does so willingly. This assertion of mine I feel, is best expressed in the powerfully disturbing poem “Home”, authored by the Kenyan-born British-Somali poet Warsan Shire:

“No one leaves home unless home is the mouth of a shark.

You only run for the border when you see the whole city running as well. Your neighbours running faster than you, the boy you went to school with who kissed you dizzy behind the old tin factory is holding a gun bigger than his body, you only leave home when home won’t let you stay.

No one would leave home unless home chased you, fire under feet, hot blood in your belly. It’s not something you ever thought about doing, and so when you did – you carried the anthem under your breath, waiting until the airport toilet to tear up the passport and swallow, each mouthful of paper making it clear that you would not be going back.

You have to understand, no one puts their children in a boat unless the water is safer than the land. Who would choose to spend days and nights in the stomach of a truck unless the miles traveled meant something more than journey.

No one would choose to crawl under fences, be beaten until your shadow leaves you, raped, then drowned, forced to the bottom of the boat because you are darker, be sold, starved, shot at the border like a sick animal, be pitied, lose your name, lose your family, make a refugee camp a home for a year or two or ten, stripped and searched, find prison everywhere and if you survive and you are greeted on the other side with “go home blacks”, “refugees dirty immigrants”, “asylum seekers sucking our country dry of milk”, dark, with their hands out smell strange, savage – look what they’ve done to their own countries, what will they do to ours?

The dirty looks in the street softer than a limb torn off, the indignity of everyday life more tender than fourteen men who look like your father, between your legs, insults easier to swallow than rubble, than your child’s body in pieces – for now, forget about pride your survival is more important.

I want to go home, but home is the mouth of a shark. Home is the barrel of the gun and no one would leave home. Unless home chased you to the shore. Unless home tells you to leave what you could not behind, even if it was human.

No one leaves home until home is a damp voice in your ear saying; “leave, run now, i don’t know what I’ve become.”


If after reading this, you still feel that the reality of the choices that immigrants fleeing their homes must face, is appropriate fodder for the opportunity that Morton crudely seized to showcase both his stunning ignorance, if not his disdain for Humanity in general, then like he, I strongly advise you to go f**k yourself.

For those of us with actually functioning souls, “Home” speaks of horrifying challenges, but whereas Morton and the others in his cabal of cuckolded Caucasians is concerned, such parameters are nothing more than smug silage for insensitive intolerance. But don’t worry, Lloyd- I still think you’re awesome, nevertheless.

Just kidding.

But maybe, just maybe, I am being a tad too harsh here, for Lloyd isn’t completely clueless as to what’s going on around him in regards to the interwoven issues this country has always had with its insidious undercurrent of ever-simmering bigotry- in fact, he’s actually seeing a positive aspect within it all:  

For the love of mythical Christ, I’m actually starting to form the belief that Lloyd may be the type of person who can not only easily put both of his feet in his mouth at the same time, but that he can do so all the way up to his thighs. I say this, due to the fact that even as this post presents itself as a non-racist declaration of hopeful optimism, three’s still a dusting of bigotry sprinkled throughout it, nonetheless.

To note; first there’s his observation that he sees babies of mixed-race “exclusively” with the White parent or grandparents, thereby subtly implying that the non-White progenitor isn’t part of the involved family dynamic. This just so happens to be a favorite trope of Conservatives, ever since the legality of mixed-race marriage.in all 50 states, was certified by the Supreme Court back in 1967, via the conduit that was Loving vs Virginia.

Adding some allegorical weight to my acidic oversight, there’s the mentioning of his previously “rural” area now undergoing an unforeseen influx of “urban” [IE: non-white] influence in the form of mixed-race progeny, and therefore “it”, [IE: racism] must certainly be on its last legs. Just ignore the fact that Morton not only openly wondered why such offspring are “branded” as Black, he then goes on to suggest that they’re being so, is nothing less than an amoral plot to increase “racism numbers”, whatever in the f**k that’s supposed to mean.

Seriously, does Morton think that there’s some sort of governmental quota that needs to be fulfilled using the birthrate of interracial scions as its base? And as for the “media’s obsession with race” Lloyd, the fact that it’s finally paying attention now to the previously verboten issue of racial disparity in this country, isn’t a fixation- its socially responsible journalism, trying to make sense of it all.

Nonetheless, the further insinuation that the as always anonymous “they” that Conservative are so fond of using as substitute boogeymen, being currently at work crafting a scheme so deceivingly nefarious that even Lloyd himself, is unable to present any credible evidence ascertaining its very existence, is truly my favorite part of this intellectually-challenged asininity, by far.

And as for his analogy that we are swiftly progressing as if we were a snowball rolling down the steepest of hills to becoming a truly colorblind society? I’ll agree with that, when I stop seeing stuff like this, via the race-obsessed media that he despises so much:

Well. This is awkward, given the fact that the media that’s seemingly obsessed with the issue of race, is the one Lloyd’s compatriots most certainly takes their political cues from, especially when it comes to non-issues such as this cravenly Conservative concoction:

Curiously, there already IS a National Anthem for African-Americans, and its origins go far further back than you might think. Written by James Wheldon Johnson in 1900, “Lift Every Voice and Sing”, was promoted by the NAACP in 1917 as being nothing less than the “Negro national anthem“.

Now to be fair, I had no idea that this was even a thing, until I took the time to discover this information for myself. Vexingly, despite using the services of Google to do so, the amount of time required to unearth this historically relevant factoid was quite formidable, as this screenshot clearly shows:

Seriously? 0.46 seconds? Does Google think that I have all day to just sit around and wait for the answer to a question that I shouldn’t have had to ask in the first place as it’s in regards to an imaginary issue, and therefore, NOT AN ACTUAL PROBLEM, UNLESS YOU’RE HARBORING SEVERELY BIGOTED TENDENCIES?

Weird that Morton has a problem with the lyrics of a spiritual hymn that’s been around since the turn of the last century, but possesses zero issue with the Presidential mango-man-child who couldn’t remember the words to the anthem of the country he was, [at that time] currently in charge of. I’m sure that such a position is based on merit, and not a quirk of melanin, given his above declarations, am I right?

For those of you unfamiliar with this hymn as I previously was, here it is in full:

“Lift every voice and sing  
Till earth and heaven ring,
Ring with the harmonies of Liberty;
Let our rejoicing rise
High as the listening skies,
Let it resound loud as the rolling sea.
Sing a song full of the faith that the dark past has taught us,
Sing a song full of the hope that the present has brought us. 
Facing the rising sun of our new day begun,
Let us march on till victory is won.

Stony the road we trod,
Bitter the chastening rod,
Felt in the days when hope unborn had died; 
Yet with a steady beat,
Have not our weary feet
Come to the place for which our fathers sighed?
We have come over a way that with tears has been watered,
We have come, treading our path through the blood of the slaughtered,
Out from the gloomy past, 
Till now we stand at last
Where the white gleam of our bright star is cast.

God of our weary years,  
Thou who hast brought us thus far on the way;
Thou who hast by Thy might 
Led us into the light,
Keep us forever in the path, we pray.
Lest our feet stray from the places, our God, where we met Thee,
Lest, our hearts drunk with the wine of the world, we forget Thee;
Shadowed beneath Thy hand, 
May we forever stand. 
True to our God,
True to our native land.”

Catchy, this song is not. Visually however, I’d suggest that it’s right up there with Blue Oyster Cult’s “Veteran of the Psychic Wars”, even if that song does just so happen to have the far better bass line betwixt the two. And much like that seminal classic, White people have nothing to fear from “Lift” in general, much less the non-existent threat of it ever being able to replace the National Anthem.

I for one, can’t imagine what it must be like to wake up every morning secure within the safety of my home, and yet; paranoically view the world entire as an entity that is far more dangerous, than eminently fascinating.

Are there truly horrific things out there to be found, lurking both in the shadows and the light? Certainly, yes. But if I ever get to the point in my life where I envision all that is around me as either an imminent danger or a malevolent machination, promise me that you’ll tie an engine block to my feet, and take me for my first, and hopefully last, lesson in sky-diving.

Interestingly, despite the mistrustful take that he shared above, Morton, unlike a majority of the paradoxically brain-dead bloviators that I write about, seems to be relatively free of the corrupting effects of conspiracy theories, overall. However, that doesn’t mean that he still won’6t dip his toes in the pond of the pea-brained, from time to time:

Isn’t it amazing, that regardless of whatever topic is being discussed, there’s always one clod of Conservatism, who thinks that by using nothing save for the dark of the Interweb and the ever-screaming voices residing within their head, that somehow, they alone, figured “it” all out? Sure, they never have any actual proof for their theorems, such as, witnesses, corroborating evidence, or even a coherent narrative to explain any of it, but rest assured, they know what’s up… as do I:

Truly, it is such a shame that the inherent talents of such brilliant sages have been relegated to the back of the allegorical bus, when its so clearly obvious that they possess knowledge far beyond the reach of the so-called actual experts. If only world governments could willingly put their fates in the hands of people such as Patti and Lloyd, this space-rock would find itself tuned up in a week. A month, tops.

But Morton’s near-miss MENSA IQ isn’t just content to sit on the laurels of fantastically spun tales regarding spy balloons, alleged presidential betrayal, and for some strange reason, the abominable events of 9-11, he’s got other far more relevant issues to tackle.

Say, such as the “lie” that Trump and Russia were in bed together, excluding of course, the fact that thanks to the Mueller investigation, the commentary of Trump’s own sons, and the business records of the Trump Organization itself, such a blasphemous rumor was actually credibly verified to have a stronghold within that which is actuality:

Sigh. It’s one thing to hold an opinion, misinformed as it may be, but it’s quite another, to petulantly assert its singular validity, when you’re unable or incomprehensibly unwilling, to provide the evidence that underpins its alleged credibility to begin with. If I’m wrong, I’m wrong. If you’re right, you’re right. But neither state can be solidly established, if and when, only one side shows up to the gun-fight, prepared.

In fact, Morton pulls this claim-and-run move quite a lot, but as someone who has a history of long-term interactions with those of a conservative bent, I can assure you that it’s a spurious gambit that more often than not, gets employed in lieu of an evidential presentation. Case in point, this back-and-forth sparring, regarding what Morton claimed were acts of antisemitism allegedly perpetrated by AOC and “The Squad”.

A dubious assessment that Morton BTW, never bothered to back up in any way, shape or form, despite my charity in giving him multiple opportunities to do just that:  

Unsurprisingly, Morton blocked me after this exchange, but not before I acquired a small collection centered around his equally ignorant squawking. Take for instance, this bon mot concerning President’s Biden SOTU speech, and as you may have guessed, Lloyd’s take on it, is well… let’s just call it “unique”, and leave it at that:

Let’s take a clinical overview of this, if we may. As is typical of conservative critiques, there’s no actual quantifier as to what the “lies” are or were, no counter-argument relating to the specific issue/s that are supposedly concerning, and interestingly, absolutely no mention whatsoever of this White Supremacy Muppet, acting like the classless dumbass that she most certainly is:

In regards to Lloyd’s omission of addressing the wretchedness of this embarrassingly screeching antisemitic shitgibbon, I’ll just have to assume that was an accidentally deliberate oversight on his part, and assign him the grace that he deserves in relation to it.

As for his erroneous observation that his side scared a “win” of any sort with the idea of Biden possibly running again, all I can say to that is the following: given both the abominable candidate pool that his party has to draw from, and the fact that the GOP infighting is rapidly approaching its worst apogee in decades, the real entertainment and eventual challenge will be watching the Alt-Wrong tear itself apart over whose cult leader is a better wannabe fascist.

Speaking of ignoring the obvious, Morton is also a big fan of pushing paranoid narratives, that to anyone with a working intellect, strike as blatantly false. Fortunately, whereas Lloyd’s focus is concerned, it isn’t on the stereotypical slurring of the LGBTQ Community as “groomers”, so I guess that’s a point of character awarded to him, but it’s just as uninformed in its arrogance as that particular conservative go-to.

So, what is the issue that Morton feels is of major concern to Americans in general? Naturally there are several, some of which are quite valid, but whereas Lloyd is concerned, the issue of “Semantics”, in relation to correctly defining the weapons currently massacring both innocent victims in public spaces as well as entire classrooms full of children alike, is a topic that he’s truly impassioned about:

This is one of those things that I find highly vexing about Conservatives in general- the fact that they can never grasp the reality that we as a nation, can efficiently tackle more than one issue at the same time. It does not have to be a “this or that” situation, unless we deliberately craft it that way. Shockingly Lloyd, not only can new take on the challenge of ending the illicit drug trade (a good point BTW), we can also approach the pandemic of gun violence in tandem, to boot.

But for Morton, such crystalline clarity is apparently beyond the reach of his limited intellect, and while he isn’t technically wrong about the scourge of drug addiction and the carnage resultant of its aftereffects, he’s still quote off the mark in relation to what an “assault weapon” is. A point that I was more than happy to address:

However, as is his niche, Lloyd not only missed the obvious point that I was making entirely, but in a plot twist that I can honestly say I didn’t see coming, added in a hilariously braggadocious valuation regarding his own self-supposed armed interaction skillset, as well. An assessment that given Morton’s current age of 74, would have made even John Wick wince at its optimistically deluded naivety

Let me sate this as clearly as I can. If my imminent survival ever comes down to being dependent on the alleged urban combat skills of a dimwitted demagogue who, despite not believing in the verifiable reality of legal definitions, still thinks that he can best a dedicated gunman (or gunmen) most likely half his age, as if he’s a septuagenarian Steven Seagal, do me a favor: switch off the lights, lock the doors, turn over the “open” sign, and just go home. Because at that point, the Republic has clearly fallen, and it’s probably for the best.

Take heart through, my wannabe Rambo’s, because Lloyd wasn’t giving up on his fantastical fever-dream of being a Suburban Commando quite just yet, and once again, threw in yet another piece of bolstering re-bar to buttress my often-validated point-of-view that some people shouldn’t be allowed to own a Super-Soaker, much less an assault rifle:  

So, to recap, Captain Oblivious here not only maintains that he’s totally up for the task of taking on what has now become a squad of gunmen in his local Walmart, because that’s how mass shooting incidents now apparently unfold these days, he’s also of the mindset that the previously working laws that were put in place to keep guns out of the hands of such people, are also redundant.

To quote Morton directly; “Laws do nothing! It is swift and severe pun9shment including the death penalty that saves lives.” And yet, while said criminals won’t respect or be even remotely deterred by a magazine law, they’ll somehow be simultaneously intimidated by the possible future application of the death penalty, as administered by the same judicial arm whose gun laws didn’t work to dissuade them from committing the heinous act of mass murder in the first place?

Yeah… that totally makes sense. In retort, all I can say to Lloyd regarding that, is this:

And just in case you missed it, was Lloyd’s assertion that he can manufacture a 60-round clip in his home in an “hour or so”, supposed to strengthen his implied argument that only a good guy with a gun can stop a bad guy (or in Lloyd’s fantasy, “5 or 6”) with a gun, but only if all of the proven laws that have previously kept same said bad guys from getting the guns in the first place, are wholly abolished?

Sadly, this it does not, but it does provide the reassurance that out there in the vanilla mecca that is Morton’s hometown of North Lawrence, OH, there still exists an over-the-hill guntard, who thinks that he requires no less than a threescore of ammunition to provide him the necessary fortitude to go pick up his dry-cleaning, on the off-chance that a “Red Dawn” situation randomly occurs, so I guess that’s a plus.

Now, as you may remember, I did ask Morton no less than twice as to why if criminals don’t follow the law, they why would they fear the retributive aspect of “swift and severe pun9shment including the death penalty”, but as previously described, Morton won’t ever provide a counter-argument when he can just as easily cravenly deflect, as he does here.

Once again, Morton sidesteps the actual issue being discussed, as well as the actual question being asked, but this time, he even brought along a friend to help, the aforementioned Russell Ward Matthews, and in consequence, awkwardly certifies that both he and Matthews are f**king morons, as he does so.

As I am forced to reiterate the point that was already clearly established not by myself but the law-enforcement-abiding entities of this land, the definition of an assault weapon is not, “Anything that you can use to kill people”, as Lloyd so ignorantly and persistently claims.

Under the current popular (as well as legal) definition, an “assault weapon” SPECIFICALLY refers to a semi-automatic gun intended for military use and which possess a rapid rate of fire and high muzzle velocity. Given the consideration that when paired with the efficiency of a large-capacity (15+ rounds) magazine, which allows said rate of fire without needing to reload, the carnage that one of these weapons placed in the hands of the deranged can cause, is a terrifying thought.

No private citizen needs or requires one of these weapons, and that observation is doubled down on, whereas a guy who thinks that the possession of 60 rounds in a public setting “just because”, is something that should be normalized.

To correct Morton’s as usual, ignorantly paranoid misinterpretation of how gun laws actually are implemented and governed, I’d note that gun laws affect law-abiding citizens very much in the same way that laws regarding drunk drivers, affect the ones who are sober. But in a move dripping with the lowliest of backpedaling, Lloyd who claimed that “Laws don’t work”, now implies that they do. Except of course, where and when Guns are concerned, because… um… “reasons”, I guess?

This sort of mental disconnection from established reality that’s being so proudly displayed right here, boys and girls, is why you’re supposed to use gun oil for its intended purpose only, and not as a seriously contending back-up for when your stereotypical choice of masturbatory lubricant, is unavailable.

Now, if I myself were to cosplay as a stereotypical Leftist, I might caustically suggest that Morton’s and Matthews deeply flawed perception of logical gun governance is seemingly akin to an act pf allegorical castration, due to their possibly warranted dread that they’re both packing less than impressive spawn-hammers, but I’m going to take the high road here, and propose the theorem that what it really comes down to, is a mutual in tandem fear of the unknown and unfamiliar.

In essence, their world is changing for the better of the commonality, and they have no ability to ride this cultural shift without submitting to the feeling that they’re under a veil of constant attack. Hence their personal requirement that they need to be locked, stocked and ready to rock, as if they’re part of the Gravy Seals, every time they leave their cravenly citadels to go get their mail or a cup of overpriced coffee.

However, I do love the part where Matthews arrogantly snarks about Democrats thinking
 “that they’re more intelligent” than Conservatives, as he then goes on to state that he does enjoy “messing” with them, as if he’s a 12-year-old girl getting even with a nefarious adversary.

Now to be fair, Matthews does have that constitutional right, but let us also not forget for the sake of the argument that he made, that this conspiracy-posting wackadoo, apparently considered the following meme as being the best benchmark that he could set for proving that the intellectualism of his party he so embarrassingly represents, is on par with the asinine acumen of their mango-man-child figurehead:Well, if this isn’t the quintessential example of Conservative intellectual prowess at its finest, then I truly don’t know what is. Shocking that a guy who so proudly displayed his ignorance concerning the issues of race relations, partisan political manipulation, and a rampant health crisis, would also exhibit the abominable fever-dreams that one might associate with the most virulent of misogynists, as well.  

I should have, now that I think of it, shared my belief that if only his mother had chosen to swallow, none of us would have to listen to the partisan pre-ejaculate that drips ever so consistently out of the ignorant maw that Matthews utilizes as his mouth. Irony, I guess.

Getting back on track, Morton displayed his inability to understand that which was clearly explained to him, by questioning “my” definition of what the term “assault weapon” meant, because as we all sadly know by now, dumbf**ks are gonna dumbf**k, no matter how easy you make it for them not to do so:

However, Morton, resplendent in in his role as an honorary village idiot, was not going to be deterred by such minor trivialities as the verified determinations that are both known if not obvious to those of us with functioning intellects, and mythical God love him, he wasn’t going down without further embarrassing himself first:

Sigh… this is one of those rare times where I start to seriously think that the only way that an idea can be forced into someone’s otherwise empty head, is with the use of either a tire iron, or the musical song-smithing of adorable hand puppets. Here’s the thing: I knew that I’m writing out my responses in the mother tongue that Morton is obviously fluent in, and yet, it still feels as if I’m talking to a wall…

… albeit a dumber than dirt, paranoiac as f**k, and willingly misinformed wall to be sure, but I digress.

It’s long been the prerogative of the Alt-Wrong membership to ply a variety of different gambits to avoid finding themselves trapped within an allegorical box that most of the time they crafted, but this one that Lloyd is using here, is possibly the most infuriating, in particular. I don’t consider myself to be any smarter than the next Snark in line, but JFC, I usually get the overall gist of an explanation the first time round.

But as if he were a mentally-bereft Mandalorian walking his chosen path…… Morton just couldn’t step out of the way of his willful ignorance long enough for the blatantly obvious point that I had repeatedly explained in detail, to work its way into his seemingly addled brain, and accomplish its dark magic unfettered, and unchallenged:

Sadly, while my query remains unanswered due to his blocking me almost immediately after my posting of a fair (if exasperated) question, I’m fairly confident that I already well know what that rejoinder would have been, if Morton had possessed the ability if not the integrity, to be honest in concern to what I had asked. And in a delightful twist, it’s really not in any way, shape or form, a conclusion that was difficult to reach.

Quite simply, modern-day Conservatives cannot grasp what the rest of us easily accept as verified Reality, not because it refuses to bend to their whims, be they practical or maniacal, but for the fact that the end result of their efforts remains the same, as if it were the march of unalterable Time itself. Regardless of what they do, say, or try, they’re seemingly on the wrong side of History, more often than not.

And whether they want to admit it or not, because they are keenly aware of what they truly have come to represent to us all. it just burns them something fierce, to never be the hero of their own self-created inane Iliad.

Can you just imagine? Being on the wrong side of Civil Rights. Being on the wrong side of Women’s body autonomy. Being on the wrong side of Science, Health, and Logic. Being on the wrong side of Humanity, Charity, and Compassion. Being on the wrong side of Christ. And on purpose, no less.

And lastly, being on the wrong side of Personal Freedom, Patriotism, and Hope.

One of the things that I have always found interesting in regards to this association of partisan pinheads, is the wide range of mental instability that forms its nattering nucleus. By way of odious example, there’s the troubling disconnection from verified reality as previously expressed above by Debbie Nowicki Harshbarger, the mid-level range of paranoid fantasy granted us by Russell Ward Matthews, and finally, the common clay circumvention of logicality, as displayed by Morton.

I won’t speak for you of course, but if I consistently discovered that my opinions, beliefs, and core values were warmly embraced by White supremacists, conspiracy theorists, misogynists, supporters of outright treason and insurrection and the obviously insane, I’d like to think that I’d call out sick to work, take a long walk through the woods to ponder the future, and then when I’m done, make a few key life choice decisions, ASAP.

Such as say, not being associated with a political party that welcomes people like this, into its fold?Isn’t it strange, that the very same people who scream their heads off the ;loudest in regards to how their fellow citizens need to “respect” the American flag, have no qualms whatsoever with casting it aside, and replacing it with a symbol of overt racism ,and divisive sedition, whenever they want to inadvertently illustrate just how unamerican that they actually are?

However, what’s even better in my opinion, is when they apply their cluelessness to what may be the best part of this dimwitted demagoguery, that being their wardrobe showing support for their treasonous mango-man-child. And let us not forget, that no matter what we or credible reality may think, they’re definitely NOT in a cult:

See? NOT in a cult. Mainly, because cult members tend to dress way less disturbingly than whatever nightmare fuel avatar this just so happens to be presenting as. And I can only say how lucky this guy is that his lungs aren’t connected to his nose, because otherwise wearing that mask, would have been a pointless endeavor.

But fret not, for these two members of the Greatest Generation, are here to not only save the day by showing these whippersnappers how it’s supposed to be done, but to proudly represent their previously oppressed heritage as well, and it’s no less than truly inspiring:

Staying on theme, may I direct your gaze to this adorable group of female Trumpites, who, at first glance, appear to be nothing more than your garden-variety one-wang-Wilhelmina’s-from-Wichita acting out a scene from Girls Gone Mild, but if you look closer, you’ll notice that they’re resplendent in hoodies that look as if the KKK was now letting Hobby Lobby get all jiggy with their traditional late-night front lawn BBQ robes.

Just my opinion of course, but once seen, it cannot be unseen.

Speaking of which, here’s an example of a done at home icon desecration, wherein this twit took the shield of Captain America, a true patriot, and emblazoned it instead, with the name of a cravenly traitor.:

A man of such low and vile character, if I may be so bold to note him as such, that if he thought he could have gotten away with it, he not only would have sold Hitler all the Zyklon-B he could ever want, he would have done so right after he had muscled his way into assuming full control of the local glass window replacement market, the day after Kristallnacht.

At a highly unreasonable profit, of course.

This is not to say that I believe Trump to be akin to Hitler, as that’s an appallingly ignorant comparison to make, but I do get the feeling that if he had been part of the eventually selected jury pool at the Eichmann trial, he’d be giving daily interviews to the international media, complaining about how poor Adolf was getting railroaded [pun definitely intended\ by the ultimate in cancel culture.

American journalist (and Presbyterian minister) Christopher Lynn Hedges, once observed that; “All cults are personality cults. All cults are really extensions of whoever the cult leader is. So, whatever the prejudices, the worldview and the ideas of the cult leader are they will be chanted back at him by the crowd.

Until massive social and economic inequality as well as the betrayal of the country by the elite are confronted and remedied, this yearning for a cult leader will not go away. Desperate people are looking for somebody to save them.”

While this is an accurate assessment of the MAGA movement, it does raise a singular question: just what exactly, do these slack-brained disciple of dipsh***ery want to be “saved” from? Free thought? A Free Press? Accessible Healthcare? Living peacefully alongside Gays, Transpeople, African-Americans, Muslims, Atheists, and independent women with opinions?

Oh, the sheer horror of it all, am I right?

But Hedges did nail it, as MAGA is comprised of people who’ve collectively substituted rational thought for delusional fantasy, humanity for targeted hatred, and in the case of those who identify as Christian, they’ve either exchanged Christ for Trump, or at the very best, placed him on his level of accordance:

Jesus F**king Christ. Literally. And seriously? I understand that Jesus is allegedly full of forgiveness and all, but given that even Satan won’t return Trump’s phone calls, I can hardly believe that he’d even allow himself to be on the same planet with the guy, much less standing ready with him on the verge of celestial battle

And with John Wayne, no less.

But the faithful throng sees not this dysfunction as being anything other than the standardized norm, and carries forward their mediocre Messiah, emboldened by his glorified magnification of their racism, misogyny, homophobia, transphobia, xenophobia, and of course, their sense of fervently jingoistic White Christian Nationalism, that poorly masquerades as a fervent expression of belief in their Fuhrer.

Oops. Did I say “Fuhrer”? My bad. I meant to say: “His Holiness, the Mango-Tinted Twat”. My apologies.

Something about this image triggers a remembrance. I’m not sure what it reminds me of, to be 100% honest, but it does strike as vaguely familiar. Something prideful. Something arrogant. Something based on the same lackluster and hateful principles, but with a far more militaristic vibe.

Oh, wait, I got it! I just had to take my time, and be patient:

I am sincerely contrite for violating the sanctity of civilized debate set by Godwin’s Law, but in my limited defense, the precedent of Nazism is the closest thing that I, in my 54 years walking this ball of Granite and space dust, have ever witnessed to be a near comparable. While I still maintain that it’s repulsive to compare Trump to Hitler, their song and dance act is literally drawn from the same giftige quelle, nevertheless.

Once again, when your particularly personal ideology is warmly embraced by White supremacists, conspiracy theorists, misogynists, supporters of outright treason and insurrection and the obviously insane, I’d strongly suggest outright that you might just be on the wrong side of History, if not Humanity itself.

And yes, it really is that simple. Because for all of the Conservative babble concerning the nearly mythic of Leftists being the arbitrators of political valence within this country, a recent tabulation of such, says otherwise.

According to a study conducted by the Anti-Defamation League, ALL the extremist-related murders in 2022 were committed by right-wing extremists of various kinds, who as a rule, commit the majority of such killings, but the last time they were responsible for all, was back in 2012.

And while it is true that Left-wing extremists do participate in violent acts encompassing the gamut from beatings to politically-motivated arson, they rarely target their adversaries with specifically directed acts of personal violence, as the Alt-Wrong tends to do. This is not to say that the three lummoxes above, are cut from that predominately putrid cloth, but they most certainly applicable in the collective guilt-of weaving it.

In closing out this screed, may I remind you all of one thing: it’s been proven, and this, sadly more than once, that today’s reality-deficient American Conservative, can quite easily become tomorrow’s reason for the GQP to pointlessly offer yet again, their stereotypical “thoughts and prayers” as a faux salve to that which should have been prevented from fomenting in the first place.

And mark my words, the motivations of these persons, who if they ever had a clever thought, it would find itself dying alone and afraid, aren’t going away anytime soon. And even more disturbingly, their cumulatively destructive aftereffects of their ideological indoctrination may last for possibly decades, a point I’ve espoused before, and as you may have already assumed, at some considerable length,

It is me, after all. But never forget this below, is who [and what] these “True Americans and Patriots” really are:

Well. They seem… “spirted”, if not really nice and friendly, with their hearts obviously open to all.

And keep in mind, these images were snapped at a place where these mentally-obese Neanderthals should have been at their happiest; at a Trump rally, among their own kind, both intellectually and melanin-wise, wearing their MAGA best, waving their Chinese-made “TRUMP” banners, and stewing in their own hatred, wondering allied just when they could start lining the “Demonrats” up against the wall.in order to “protect” their kids, their schools, their mythical God, and most importantly, their real spiritual leader:

This guy. The sexual deviant who talked about wanting to “date” his daughter Ivanka. The creep who openly wondered in 1994 on the TV show “Lifestyles of the Rich and Famous”, if his then ONE-YEAR-OLD daughter Tiffany, would grow up to have big breasts. You know, like any normal father would? That guy.

Furthermore, this self-admitted attacker of women, dismissed a credible accusation of rape by breezily saying; “She’s not my type”, which indicates rather disturbingly, that there’s not only a “type” that he would rape, he might do so, if given the prime opportunity. This opinion of mine, being based on his despicable assertion that; “when you’re famous, they just let you do it”. That guy.

The hateful, bigoted, narcissistic demagogue, whose personal incompetence overseeing a pandemic, led to the deaths of the citizenry he swore to protect. That guy. The fake university grafter who left behind a trail of bankrupted business carnage, unpaid loans, and used the power of the White House to promote his own business interests. That guy.

The dictator-praising, POW mocking, war-widow insulting, Gold Star Family slandering, American Flag dry-humping, draft dodger and donated Purple-Heart accepting bully, who could affront his supposed enemies be they real or imagined on Twitter or during a train-wreck press conference, but not to their actual faces. That guy.

The lie-spewing, twice-impeached, conspiracy-theory-promoting, cowardly traitor, who through the application of social media outreach, openly fomented an attempted insurrection when he was declared the loser of a fair and legal election, which led to one of the darkest days in American History. That guy.

And all of this abominableness, taking place shortly before he was caught orange-handed via an FBI raid, in illegal possession of classified documents, an embarrassing situation which he tried [and failed] to explain away by offering no less than five different stories regarding why this was. These are known in the trades by the way, as “blatantly transparent lies”. That guy.

As a country, we’re better than that guy, aren’t we?  I say this with supreme confidence, despite all of the seemingly empirical evidence that says otherwise. America has been tested since its inception, and it is certain that it will face duress yet again, but this treasonous piece of rancid offal and his red-hatted Vanilla Vanguard, will not be what we allow to finally breaks us.

Author Neil Gaiman once said in regards to the soul-crushing events of 9-11 that; “Everybody dies. Just as everything created is eventually destroyed. Then what’s the point of anything? The point? Walk the world. Help to feed the hungry, help comfort those in pain. Do what you can to leave the world a better place.”

In essence, don’t be “That Guy” And whenever possible, don’t allow others to turn into the same.,

“The greatest enemy of knowledge is not ignorance; it is the illusion of knowledge.” – Daniel J. Boorstin




Optimism Primed. (Red-slime Stories)

“Optimism is the madness of insisting that all is well when we are miserable.” – Voltaire

Greetings, Bitchiteers!

How are you currently doing in this, the dawning new year of 2023? Are you happy? Are you excited about the year ahead? Or just like me, are you secretly hoping that it doesn’t look at 2022 with an air of condescending smugness, because it knows it could do far better at being far worse, if only given the unfettered opportunity to do so?

I thought so. Nevertheless, I’m trying my best to start off ol’ 23 here with a positive outlook, no matter what reality and the circumstances attached to it, demand to dictate.

Therefore, the end goal of this, my newest screed, will be to craft a work of non-fiction regarding a work of pure fiction that’s so damn informative, that even total strangers will feel the need to stop me on the street. Even if the reason that they’re doing so, is only to ask and that, rather concernedly, if I’m either psychic, or worse, the closest thing that this generation will ever see to a sentient set of the Encyclopedia Britannica.  

If you’re under 40, and don’t understand that last joke, ask a Gen Xer- they’ll set you straight.

And just in case you’re curious as well, the answers to those two queries would be; no more than any of you, and yes. I may just possibly be. I won’t call it for any of you, of course, but I think that as a concerned collective, we can all agree without any additional debate or serious questioning, that 2022 sucked harder than Melania Trump auditioning for a future non-incarcerated husband.

And this assessment, epic in its inherent acidity, applies evenly across the board, irrespective of the topic to be discussed, as the art of civil debate within this once semi-respected republic, has not only been tossed out the allegorical window, it’s been done so from the very top floor.

By way of example, I will offer the following example, that being one of my last politically-based-exchanges for 2022, with a person who’s traveled so far down the rabbit-hole of established Reality, that he’s entirely bypassed Wonderland, and found himself instead, single-handedly fighting the denizens of Gehenna. Or so he thinks.

Some necessary background context, if may. If there is one thing that’s become apparent over the course of the last few years, it’s that no amount of love, understanding, logic, or undeniable evidence shown to any random member of the personality cult that compromises Trumpism, will ever shake their faith in slavishly worshiping a dime-store-bronzer-dipped demagogue, regardless of whatever contemptible actions he openly engages in.

Whether it’s his proven and numerous acts of adultery, confessed sexual assault, grafting, money-laundering, incompetence, ignorance, racism, bigotry, misogyny, pathological lying, fomenting an attempted insurrection, and self-confessed treason, it’s generally accepted by his adherents, that up is down, and “Black” is never to be allowed to enjoy or even possess, the merest of privileges so amenably afforded to “White”.

For as the Greek philosopher and polymath Aristotle once observed; “Educating the mind without educating the heart, is no education at all,”, and within the abominable creed that underpins the very core of Trumpist ideology, the mind and heart are so disconnected from Reality, that all one needs do as an advocate for the World’s Angrist Creamsicle, is claim that he is in fact, not the villain of whatever false story that our lying eyes and ears have so cruelly concocted, but is instead, the unsung hero of a tale so epic, that no one less than the great poet Homer himself, could have composed it

Now, depending on the source and the level to which they’ve willingly succumbed to what can only be described as the unchecked advancement of severe mental illness, Donald J. Trump, the twice-impeached, adulterous, sexually-predating, treasonous liar, who just also happens to be the former 45th President of the United States, is not at all what he seems. Not by a long shot.

Because in an unexpected plot twist that George RR Martin would happily kill M. Night Shvamalan with a dragon to think of for himself, it turns out that DJT is not only the Greatest [self-declared] President of All-Time, he’s also the Greatest Champion for Sex Trafficking ever, as well.

Oops… I meant to say “Greatest Champion against Sex Trafficking ever”, but when you remember that he at one time, had business and/or personal ties to five well-known pedophiles, was caught on a “hot mic” bragging about sexually assaulting women, and has compiled quite the distasteful list of highly inappropriate commentary regarding women, as well as his own daughter Ivanka, you can easily see why I made such an honest mistake.

See? I didn’t even have to mention that time when he paid a porn-star 130K for sex while his 3rd wife (and 2’nd ex-mistress) was at home, recovering from the birth of their newborn son, nor did I have to raise the somewhat embarrassing fact that the Trump administration had one of the LOWEST rates of sexual trafficking convictions in modern presidential history, ether.

Along those lines, I’m sure that Donny would also appreciate your being kind enough to forget that moment where he wished Ghislaine Maxwell, the child-victim procuring girlfriend of notorious pedophile Jeffery Epstein “well” before her trial. Not once, but TWICE.

And even though she was convicted of conspiracy to entice minors to travel to engage in illegal sex acts, conspiracy to transport minors to participate in illegal sex acts, transporting a minor to participate in illegal sex acts, sex trafficking conspiracy, and sex trafficking of a minor, that’s still no reason to cast doubt upon Trumps dubious prestige as QAnon’s allegorical Savior of the unconscionably victimized.

You know… the children that for some strange reason, he failed to recognize while he was casting open thoughts of goodwill towards their definitive abuser? Try to keep all this in mind, as I introduce you to a fine duo of persons who not only deliberately overlook these massive flaws of both character and basic humanity, they do it ever so willingly, to boot.

The conversation about to be presented, kicked off with my being made aware this simply charming meme, depicting Lady Liberty, who’s been presumably victimized by the politically Left, being assured by a condescendingly misogynistic Uncle Sam, that she’s not to worry, for “We’re Coming”. Although what this means, given its vagueness about whom is coming and why, remains known only to Mike Mooradian, the poster of this slice of paranoid propaganda:

Fortuitously, Mooradian was nice enough to clarify the idiocy festering within the cesspit of his obviously intellectually-bereft mind, by not only giving us his take of “This hit me hard this morning. A shit storm is coming and you patriots better be ready.” as a punctuation-free lead-in, but in addition, also opened up the debate floor to his equally obsessed oracles of obliqueness, as well:

Maybe it’s just me, but has anyone else noticed that despite possessing an ability to unravel the evil tapestry of what is clearly a worldwide cabal using nothing save the ever-shrieking voces in their heads, that the architects of such puritanical patriotism, openly display the spelling and grammatical skillset of those particular call-center operatives who notify you at all hours of the day, about your need to renew your car’s extended warranty?

Far funnier though, is their collective delusion regarding that not only was the attempted insurrection of January 6th 2020 a predetermined “set-up”, designed to besmirch the impeccable reputation of the aforementioned and eternally-disgraced mango-tinted man-child who fomented it, but that such was put into motion by the same malevolent machinate responsible for the crafting of the “satanic” Georgia Guidestones monument, as well. 

And while I know what you’re thinking, let me assure you all, that the “Georgia Guidestones” are not, and I repeat, are NOT; a tribute band that merges the lyrical witticisms of the defunct rock band the Georgia Satellites, with the blues-based iconicity of the Rolling Stones. Sure, it was a good guess on your part, and an even better concept for a musical act, but that would still be a solid “no”, all the way around.

For the uninitiated, the Georgia Guidestones was a monument erected in1980, and was composed of six separate slabs of granite, topping off at a height of 19 feet 3 inches, with a combined weight of 237,746 pounds. Located in Georgia, the state that by the thinnest of margins, decided that perhaps well-known hypocrite and deadbeat dad Herschel (”I wanna be a Werewolf now”) Walker, was maybe not the sanest choice to represent them in Congress, the GG’s were the subject of as equally unintelligent controversy, from the first day of their allegorical birth.

Nicknamed the “American Stonehenge” by some, it was created out of the shared concern firmly held by its originators, that there was going to be an upcoming social, nuclear, or pecuniary catastrophe that would end modern-day society as we know it, and therefore, the design element of said monument, was to serve as a guide for whatever form of humanity would arise from our metaphorical ashes, as it were. Like a deceased Jedi Masters’ Force ghost, but far more weather-resistant, if not twice as cryptic.

Sandblasted into the monuments four primary supporting granite slabs, in eight different languages, those being: Arabic, Russian, Chinese, English, Hindi, Spanish, Hebrew, and Swahili, were ten “guides for mankind”- inscriptions that sought to give sage advice to the replacement generation. And just what exactly, did the advisements suggest that caused delusional morons like Baeza Jr to label them as “Satanic”?

Well, get ready to clutch your allegorical pearls, because here they are: [1] Maintain humanity under 500,000,000 in perpetual balance with nature. [2] Guide reproduction wisely- improving fitness and diversity.. [3] Unite humanity with a living new language. [4] Rule passion- faith- tradition- and all things with tempered reason. [5] Protect people and nations with fair laws and just courts. [6] Let all nations rule internally resolving external disputes in a world court. [7] Avoid petty laws and useless officials. [8] Balance personal rights with social duties. [9] Prize truth- beauty- love- seeking harmony with the infinite. [10] Be not a cancer on the Earth- leave room for nature.

Dear. Mythical. God. Have you ever read a testament to the future that was ever this blatantly, if not cold-bloodedly, evil? I mean… maintaining a balance and living with Nature? Uniting Humanity? The use of Reason to guide society? Applying the application of the Law equally and justly? And in an unhinged proposal that should strike terror into the hearts of even the steeliest among us, we should “prize” Truth and Love?

Clearly, whomever created this monolith of malevolent intent, never consulted a Conservative Christian in regards to just how ridiculous this would all sound, when taken at face value.

If this architectural Antichrist had been allowed to stand unmolested, I can almost guarantee that we’d be currently overrun by random people just walking around, saying inane stuff like; “Love thy neighbor”, or even worse, finding themselves inspired to build houses of worship, wherein they might even preach the message that we collectively should; “Do unto others as you would have them do unto you”, and other unhinged nonsensicalities such as that.

Can you just imagine the ramifications of that occurring?

The next thing you know, these zealots would be all over TV complaining about strangers whose lifestyles they find objectionable, insisting that their unaccredited doctrine be forced upon and into, our schools, government, and personal healthcare decisions, and to top it all off, you just know we’d never hear the end of their libelous litany claiming “persecution”, if they didn’t get their way 100% of the time.

Foreseeing all that, it’s probably a good thing that in July of 2022, the GG’s were blown sky-high in an act of-politically-inspired-domestic-terrorism, which most certainly, was influenced by decades of Right-Wing conspiracy theories formed by lunacy, fueled by fearful ignorance, and eventually realized, utilizing the crudity of what has been assumed to be a homemade bomb.

As it was in the past, when Black Churches were the figureheads of the civil rights movement, the answer as always for Conservatives to excising something out of their pathetically wretched lives that they don’t like, appreciate or can even be bothered to try and f**king understand, even though it doesn’t personally affect them at all, is to try and destroy it.

Hell, if the Alt-Wrong managed to do it to civil discourse if not comin sense in this country, using only their neurotic nitroglycerin, what chance in allegorical Hell would a few rock pillars have against their actually applied dynamite?

None whatsoever. America. F**k yeah.

Naturally, as I tend to be somewhat reactionary to the cerebral obsequiousness of conspiracy theory, in what are supposed to be otherwise mentally functional adults, I of course, just had to toss in my own two cents, and as I can’t just go around throwing my loose change at obliviousness lunatics, I made my response a two-for-the-price-of-one special:

Now, in case you aren’t aware, the modern-day male member of the personality cut that fails to masquerade itself as the Conservative movement in this country, truly loathes Liberals with a hatred so intense, that if it were applied equally to actually learning something useful and beneficial to the society at large, we’d all have jet packs, flying cars, and a flawlessly perfect sequel to “Highlander” by now.

And when college-educated, reality-based, fact-spouting progressives (such as myself) openly dare to mock their self-declared Alpha status? Well then just sit back, and watch all heck break loose.

Interestingly, you can label them as stupid, refer to them as them as submissively pathetic cultists, or even slur them collectively as nothing less than deplorable supporters of Treason, and do so, without causing so much as a ripple in their shallow end of the gene pool, but if you infer that they’re a Beta…just be prepared to accept that at best, you’re going to see the best representation of what happens when a can of AXE body-spray achieves middling sentience:

My own personal misspelling of “sure’ and lack of a comma after “God”, aside, I think it’s safe to say that witty comebacks are not the forte of the two toxically conservative Cucks. Wisely, Mooradian ducked out of further engagement on this particular Facebook thread, leaving the supremely amusing task of one embarrassing themselves online to his 2’nd lieutenant Danny Baeza Jr, who came up with witticisms such as this:

As a person who engages regularly with persons devoid of significantly functioning critical-thinking abilities, I’ve often wondered why the two most common so-called debate tactics that the Alt-Wrong relies on, is stating that either someone is a NAZI, or the equally ridiculous option that they’re a Satanist, just because said person stands in direct opposition to their transparently obvious lack of intelligence.

Don’t misunderstand me- I do in fact know and more importantly believe, that both of those two things still do exist in the modern age, but the odds that the person being conservatively slandered while they’re advocating for the application of Logic and a concern for the well-being of others, is actually covered by either one of these definitions, are fairly slim.

But as it often is with the Disciples of Dipshittery that form the political bowel movement that is Trumpism, once they get a hold of an alleged “burn”, they can’t let go, and sometimes even add a soundtrack to it:

Damn… that is a dick move, Danny. Employing the work of American musical icon Johnny Cash, to push a vile misrepresentation of the Word? Man, you are ever do lucky that he’s dead, because if he had heard you say this crap out loud, the Man in Black himself would have hit you over the head with his guitar. You’ve heard his song, “A Boy named Sue”? You would have been the subject of its equally amusing follow-up, “A Man-boy made Goo”.

Fret not however, for as the old adage goes, “two can play that game”, and my side has got some serious musical militiamen of its own, aided by my (as always) ever so sensitive observations:

For those of you unfamiliar with the song that I posted as a retort, all that I can say regarding it, is that if you’re the type who believes in the concept of a celestial Skydaddy that is both mythical and sociopathic, then you’re probably not going to be in any kind of rush to add this particular work by Frank Turner to your chosen Spotify listing.

A selected example from the song’s possibly provocative lyrics: “Brothers and sisters, have you heard the news? The storm has lifted and there’s nothing to lose, So swap your confirmation for your dancing shoes, Because there never was no God.” “Step out of the darkness and onto the streets, Forget about the fast, let’s have a carnival feast, Raise up your lowered head and hear the liberation beat, Because there never was no God.”

Sadly, despite the sheer catchiness of said song, Baez Jr still felt compelled to double down on his conspiracy theory cocktail, chased with whatever the hell it is that the voices in his head manufacture, and then falsely present to him, as nothing less than incontestable fact:
As long as I live, I will never understand where critics of the modern-day Conservative movement and the MAGAts that currently compromise its core membership, have gotten the idea that same said individuals are wholly insane loons, incapable of rational thought or action, when such intellectually-gifted individuals such as Danny Baeza Jr here, are carrying its allegorical banner to the heights of truly civil, if not well-measured, political discourse. 

s commentary is deeply disturbing for its dedication to an inarguably insane and easily debunked theorem, it’s far more alarming that a person this mentally unwell, walks among us unfettered, if not unmedicated. Given the earlier proof offered concerning Trump’s lack of character in concern to sexual ethics, I’d opine that perhaps Baeza’s faith in him as a chosen agent of God, may be a tad bit misdirected.  

As is the trust that Mike Mooradian (our original FB thread originator) has ostensibly placed in whatever quality test that he’s applied to his personal association with Baeza Jr. It has often been said, that one is judged by the company one keeps, and if Baeza Jr here, serves as the standard-bearer for Mooradian’s litmus test, I’d strongly recommend that future customers of his business, Mooradian Investing LLC, located in Longmont, Colorado, take their money elsewhere, ASAP.

This is not due to any feeling or belief that Mooradian is unethical or crooked, but that if I were to invest in any form of such commerce, I sure as hell wouldn’t entrust my hard-earned greenbacks to an allegedly delusional person who seemingly advocates overthrowing the current standing government, based on the lies of the Count of Mostly Crisco.

Unless of course, Mooradian is investing in the corporate prisons that will be built to incarcerate not only Trump and his inner circle of fellow coup planners, but the numerous Trump allies, associates, simple-minded insurrectionists, and media propagandists who haven’t been savvy enough to cut deals with the DOJ just yet, as well.

In which case, I’d advise that you go all in with everything that you can throw in, because the long-term dividends are going to be huge. This fiscal advice aside, there’s still the unresolved issue of my zany zealot Danny Baeza Jr, to wrap up.

Preferably in a straitjacket, but I’m fairly certain, given my opinion that his family tree most likely resembles a replacement lead for a mechanical pencil, a deal for this fervent hope of mine to be borne into reality, was already in the works as I wrote these final words, after he had asked me one thankfully last time, whether or not I worshiped Satan, and I assured him (yet again) that I did not, as he’s a myth to begin with:

A word of advice for the unknowledgeable out there regrading those such as myself, who openly identify as being an Atheist? As I noted previously, if I don’t believe in your sociopathic Skydaddy, then it’s a sure bet that I in tandem, don’t place much stock in the dysfunctional relationship that he so puzzlingly maintains with his highly disgruntled ex-employee, either.

I’d also like to note that at no point, then or now, did Mooradian bother to attempt any form of direct intervention regarding Baeza Jr’s salacious and erroneous claims, which in essence, only goes to prove the validity of the long-held maxim that “Silence = Complicity”, an assessment that only solidified itself for me, after this exchange on an earlier posting of his:

Yes… “No one looks for a Liberal” when “shit hits the fan”, Mike. Not a single soul. For as we all know, there are no Liberal policemen, no Liberal doctors, no Liberal care workers, no Liberal firemen, and most certainly, no Liberal soldiers to be found within a mile of any emergency requiring the intervention of the concerned.

Newsflash, genius- when a tragedy has occurred, political party lines should be essentially erased, necessary alliances need to be forged, nobody with a working soul and brain, is “looking”: for anything, save for decent humans who can assist them in their time of need, and your party is so not stocked-up with any of those.

Because if there’s one thing that is as certain as the act of a Conservative deflecting or projecting, it’s that the political party who consistently votes against aiding storm-wracked states and American territories, who denies veterans their due benefits, all while giving them faux lip service, and engages in human trafficking by putting the undocumented on a plane paid for by American taxpayers, to another state for a cheap political PR stunt, are truly the best of us all, right?

After all, let’s not overlook the time when the mango man-child Mooradian adores, claimed that on the darkest day that was 9-11, that he; “went down to Ground Zero with men who worked for me to try to help in any little way that we could. We were not alone. So many others were scattered around trying to do the same. They were all trying to help.”

Unfortunately for our former Commander-in-Cheat, there is ZERO evidence that any workers hired by, or working in conjunction with Trump, ever helped with the cleanup efforts. Nor are there any valid eyewitness accounts, photos, or any news footage, showing him actively engaging in coordinating such activity, either.

But all is not lost regarding the message of Mooradian’s meme, for on the very same day of the synchronized terrorist attack, Trump, the self-declared provider of imaginary workmen, called WWOR TV to ostensibly discuss the tragedy, as all community-orientated real-estate developers like to do.

However, Trump for whatever reason, felt that the tragedy of the day required a perspective of sorts that concerned him alone, and in doing so, uttered a comment so vile in its cluelessness, that it still stands as monstrous not just for its insensitivity, but also for the braggadocio that underpins it: “I mean, 40 Wall Street actually was the second-tallest building in downtown Manhattan. And it was actually- before the World Trade Center- was the tallest. And then when they built the World Trade Center, it became known as the second-tallest, and now it’s the tallest.

At the time when this repulsive commentary was uttered, both towers of the World Trade Center had already collapsed, the Pentagon had suffered severe damage and multiple casualties, a hijacked plane intended for god-knows-what-target had been forced into a crash by the actions of its self-sacrificing passengers, and nearly 3,000 people had been murdered in the process, but hey…

…Donny’s got the best view in NYC now, so let’s all focus on that, instead. And as we do, we’ll just ignore the fact that it was, like most of his exclamations, a bald-faced lie, as in the 1970’s, 40 Wall Street was not the tallest building in lower Manhattan before the period in which the Twin Towers were erected, nor was it even the tallest after the events of 9-11, as well.

Nevertheless, when I pointed out the erroneous nature of Mooradian’s claim, albeit with a ton of misspellings, die to my nerve-damaged hands utilizing the smallest keypad I’ve ever used in my life, he reacted in the only way that a Conservative knows how- to double down on his inane assertions of that which is not, and never has been, based in actual reality:  

I love how when he’s confronted, this paragon of alleged masculinity responds with the classic “I know you are, but what am I” defense gambit that’s been the hallmark of every chastised 4th grader since the early 70’s, and the go-to lame retort for every Conservative failing at winning a debate, since Trump turned the GOP into the GQP.  

But a question was inferred, and therefore I will answer it- you’re a f**king moron Mike, but as you already knew that, repeating that which is obvious, seems kind of redundant. But jackasses are gonna jackass, regardless of the fact that you just warned them of what tools were at your disposal in order to prove them not just wrong, but hilariously so.

At the time, I honestly did think that I was pretty clear in declaring what I could use as such, but apparently in his zeal to openly display his ignorance, Mooradian somehow skipped over that part, and instead introduced a series of false (and long-debunked) claims to muddy the waters, all of which, I was more than happy to clear up for him, if he desired me to do so:

At the time, I honestly did think that I was fairly open in declaring what I could use as such, but apparently in his zeal to openly display his ignorance, Mooradian somehow skipped over that part, and instead, chose to introduce a series of false (and long-debunked) claims to muddy the waters that he clearly couldn’t defend by using credibly verified evidence.

So. as I tend to be a rather charitable person when I find myself going toe to toe with a mentally-bereft and politically-submissive sycophant, I (once again) reminded him of a reality that he quite evidently, hadn’t ever taken into consideration, that being the fact that political documentation exists, and none of it backs up his puerile partisanship whatsoever.

Given Mooradian’s inference that Liberals aren’t masculine, you might assume that he’d interpret my offer to debate the reality of my commentary using actual facts, as nothing less than a metaphorical gauntlet being shaved in his face, and accept the challenge, but in doing so, you’d find yourself being proven dead wrong,

For as often sems to be the case when Conservatives find themselves cornered by the indisputable, Mooradian reacted like the cravenly bitch I already knew him to be, and “blocked” me, rather than face the theoretical possibility that I was about to happily serve him his own empty head on a silver platter, replete with a side dish of whoop-ass, just to balance it out.

This particular act of intellectual and ideological cowardice aside, running away from established Truth is seemingly nothing new for Mooradian, and despite all evidence to the contrary, he revels in his belief of an improbable conspiracy machinated by an insidious cabal, much in the same way that I maintain my faith in the theorem that Nickelback being allowed to release ten chart-topping albums, is a surefire sign that there is quite obviously, no God.

However, so far as Mooradian is concerned, the validity of God’s existence is the least of his imaginary worries, because as he sees it, his own government was caught red-handed, plotting an insurrection against itself, in order to … um… well, the true details are a bit fuzzy at this stage, but rest assured, not-so-magic Mile here, knows what’s really going on:

I won’t speak for you of course, but I do think that it’s a wonderful sign of our country’s aptitude for tolerance, that we openly allow the ostensibly mentally-ill, to have unimpeded access to the largest information dissemination source on the planet, regardless of the outcome of the intentional damage that they do to established facts, social civility, and/or political progressiveness.

Nevertheless, if I were to speak on behalf of my asinine faux insurrectionist, may I note that it’s actually spelled “Capitol”, attacking it is still a federal and prosecutable crime, and after the repulsive events of J6, I’m fairly certain that the Capitol Police would be more than up to engage in a blood-feud rematch with Mooradian’s fellow brain-dead cultists.

And without any sarcasm involved Mikey, J6 was a “patriot event” as your ideology’s form of modern-day nationalistic pride has as much in common with actual patriotism, as Donald J. Trump does with marital fidelity.

By the way, does anybody else remember when Mooradian had a mini-meltdown, saying that it was, and I quote: “Typical of the liberal Democrat communist to post some bullshit and not have any proof”, and then, when actually presented with the offer of some, he immediately tucked his tail between his legs, and fled like the mango-tinted coward whom he admires so much?  

Well, just keep that in mind, because our resident Hercule Poirot wannabe here, is about to present his well-researched treasure trove of irrefutable evidence, and even when viewed with the most cynical of eyes, it’s still stunningly persuasive:

o accurately recap, a bumper-sticker quoting demagogue, who lauds the overthrow of our democracy by faux patriots based on the insane lies and whims of a sanctimonious sack of gilded lunchmeat, heard from an unnamed “source” within the FBI, that several agents have been tried for their alleged collusion in fomenting the events of that day, without the Alt-Wrong press, Trump’s lawyers, or other cabinet officials, somehow catching wind of it, mind you,
Strangely, despite the evidently sold proof that Mooradian didn’t provide one way or the other, I still felt compelled to see with my own eyes just where this devastatingly relevant information was coming from, and to my surprise, I found that it wasn’t actually coming from anywhere, save for the critically devoid of intellect voices imprisoned within the confines of the spoiled cabbage that Mooradian wittily calls his brain:

Well, this is peculiar, because regardless of whatever search terms I typed in regarding any FBI agent/s being prosecuted for collusion leading to the outcome of J6, I got zilch. Zero. Diddly-squat. Goose-eggs. NADA.

Now as I, along with the rest of you, all live in a democratic republic, and not one based on the rule of bananas, I find Mooradian’s assertion of “secret trials” not only absurd, but somewhat pathetic, to boot. If there was indeed such evidence to be found, given the reality of modern-day mass media and the hackerdom that monitors it, this fever-dream would be quite literally, the biggest story on Earth, and I can assure you that it would be milked harder than a VIP guest hanging out at the Grotto located at the Playboy Mansion.

And while i don’t wish to sound somewhat condescendingly smug, I hardly think that the self-declared CEO of an investment firm that clears less than *100K annually and which was founded in 2019, would have been gifted the inside track on anything allegedly Deep State related, unless it refers to either getting a really sweet deal on promotional items, or knowing the cheapest place in Longmont to entertain a potential client.
*[Details listed at: https://www.buzzfile.com/business/Mooradian-Investing-303-908-9842]

But if one unfounded conspiracy involving an imaginary cover-up is fun to ruminate over, then certainly tossing in additional one that’s based on paranoic lunacy, and just as easily debunked, as Mooradian’s fantastical tale regarding the FBI, should be twice as fun to discuss, am I right?

Of course, I am. After all, isn’t it my responsibility to take you through this metaphorical minefield of madness safely, if not disquietly?

I will give a clue as to its content however, before I introduce yet additional of Mooradian’s groundless fever-dreams, and it is this: I love how the MAGAt ilk being purposefully unaware of the reality that exists around them, somehow directly translates such, into a Machiavellian scheme designed to control the populace at large, using the most deceptive of insidious measures:   

A simple Google search will reveal mass confusion regarding this particular news story, but the overall consensus is that it never actually happened, and is more of an urban myth, rather than an actual occurrence. So far as my deep-dive research has shown, the story may originate from a news-service banner crawl that was allegedly broadcast on both CBS and CNN, claiming that explosives had been found under the GW Bridge in NYC on 9-11, 2001:

The one consistent thing I did find however, were improbable theories, spurious speculations, and surprisingly, a smattery of antisemitism, circulating through the entrenched roots of this fable made ethereal flesh.

If I were to poke a few holes within the floorboards of this duplicitous dinghy of a story, I’d note that from the moment the duo of planes hit the Twin Towers until their tragic and eventual collapse a short time later, NYC was in a state of total chaos, and remained in such, for days afterward.

And while NYC’s most prominent landmarks were checked for hidden dangers over the next few weeks and it’s on-ground security forces were subsequently on high alert for months as well, there was simply not enough unencumbered civil resources. or the application of command to undertake any such form of deliberately close inspection on that particularly dark day, no matter how much Mooradian would like to suggest that there was.

But as the saying that I just, made up goes, “Dumbf**ks are gonna dumbf**k, no matter what”, and when it comes to the proof of that maxim, Mooradian finds himself allied with a wide slew of as equally uniformed mentally-shuffling pinheads, some of whom it pains me to say, may be even far dumber than even he appears to be:

Let me tell you, it’s so nice to see an “A” level game being presented when it comes to individual madness, is it not? But as an aside, exactly what is a “Patriot” supposed to dress like? Because I’m pretty sure that the outfit of one who claims to be such, doesn’t include zip-ties, Confederate flags, or the emblazoning of a wannabe fascists name, across their chest, but maybe that’s just me.

For those of you who may be new to the idioms of this country, “And everybody knows it”, is a convenient catch-phrase that modern-day conservatives use in place of willingly providing verifiable evidence to prove whatever it is that they’re claiming happened.

While it can be considered a relatively new tool of the GQP, it’s been used do many times at this point, that it’s literally become an almost cliche admission that no such proof for said claim, actually exists. Please reference the subjects of “Micro-chipped Vaccines”, “Frazzledrip”, “Pizzagate”, “New World Order”, “Deep State Machinations”, and “A Watchable Cut of Highlander 2”, for a deeper understanding, if such is actually required.Naturally, whenever I encounter one of these mewling morons online, I do my best to play Devil’s Advocate as it were, and attempt to see things from their side of the fence, regardless of just how misguided and wholly paranoid it may be. Fortunately, for your entertainment if not my own, I tend to fail rather spectacularly at this sort of thing:

Yes, I know, I know… I used the same joke. Twice. Truly, I am sorry. But it is a good joke, and I do so like to get my money out of them before they die. Speaking of which, the act of consistently reanimating that which should remain dead, is also a Conservative staple, as it comes in handy whenever their attempts to deflect or terrorize, fail to take root.

Your mango-man-child got caught paying off a porn star for 30 seconds of sex? Bring up the decades-old Clinton/Lewinsky affair. He got busted stealing classified documents? Casually mention Hillary’s 3 unauthorized e-mails, as if they’re equivalent. And if your twice-impeached and utterly disgraced ex-President suggests that we should abolish the Constitution due to non-existent voter fraud?

Well then, just start babbling about this disproven garbage instead, and hope for the best:

Now seems like a good time to remind everyone, save for the more astute of you that may have already guessed, that this is patently false. What Art Summers is referring to here, is the idiocy that in 2012, Former President Barack Obama signed into law, a codicil making it legally permissible for the media to purposely lie to the American people.

Alas, to the ever-eternal woe of the Alt-Wrong slimeballs behind the marketing of the lies presented hourly on FOX, OAN, Breitbart, Epoch Times, Newsmax, Gateway Pundit, Truth Veritas, and the Daily Caller, this is incorrect, but I guess a morally rudderless group of demagogues can dream the ultimate dream, even if it does come with the crippling effect of having no actual remorse for what they’ve willingly done, whatsoever.

This falsehood stems from the moment when Obama signed the National Defense Authorization Act in 2013, a legislative move which in and of itself, was not intended to repeal the Smith-Mundt Act, but instead, eased some limitations concerning domestic dissemination of media that was government-funded.

With Obama’s signature, the law now allows Americans who freely want to access government-funded media content, such as the Voice of America and/or Radio Free Europe/Radio Liberty, the ability to do so “upon request.”. An entreaty which before the change of the law, was nearly unobtainable to fulfill.

And yet, despite the fact that Americans are still able to access much of this restricted content online, the law as it currently exists, clearly mandates that it is STILL ILLEGAL, (read that again, conspiracists) for government-funded media to produce and/or market, their content to America’s citizenry.

Hilariously, not only is all the info I just laid out for you relatively easy to find, but so is the agency [AKA: The Global Engagement Center, or “GEC” for short] listed on the meme as a reference for the meme’s “research”, which as you all now know, was never actually sought out, or even remotely utilized to begin with. And for a malevolence purportedly designed to deceive the Amwr9can public at large, they sure don’t seem interested in keeping a low profile:

Even more ballsy? They’ve posted their evil plan right out in the open for all to see, as well:

Goddamn… I don’t know who’s currently in charge of the GEC at the moment, but they’re definitely the kind of hands-on administrator that SPECTRE, Black Sun, KAOS, The League of Assassins, COBRA COMMAND, The Umbrella Corporation, and HYDRA, should give serious regard to, concerning their hopefully being poached away from the Federal Government.

And if those agencies turn out to be dead ends for the GEC’s mist valuable team player, there’s always the possibilities of their floating a resume over to the Masons, the Illuminati, and whomever it is that keeps greenlighting those increasingly godawful Fantastic Four franchise reboots:

Nevertheless, let’s try and keep this nationalistically-inspired pandemic of Folie à plusieurs in some sort of perspective, if we may. Also known as shared delusional disorder, or SDD, for the laypersons reading this, the “madness pf many” as such translates, manifests itself as a mental disorder in which delusional beliefs, and occasionally even hallucinations, are transmitted from one individual to another.

Feel free to raise your hands, if this reminds you of any virulent ideology assorted with a particular American political party as of late, because I most certainly have one in mind. As should you all, come to think of it. To be fair, in its mildest incarnation, it can disingenuously present itself as somewhat amusing, if not outright bizarre:However, the flip side of this malevolently gilded medallion, is what can be resultant of its insidiousness, when said collective delusions are taken not only as gospel by their dimwitted disciples, but are also machinated into a directly targeted series of actions, as well. And rest assured, when zealous lunatics are conceived that they alone are the virtuous who are tasked to cleanse “their” world of those they’ve deemed as the wicked, no one is safe

The madness isn’t over, just because Trump got his larded ass handed to him by populist decree in 2020- it will be with us for years to come, perhaps even decades. That is, if the current crop of GQP/Pro-Trump stooges currently serving as cravenly conduits, get to have their say, and/or way. Not to mention, the nutbars that the modern-day conservative movement has created remain among us, spreading the infection still, and if anything, adding even more unhinged layers of inanity icing to their conspiracy cupcakes:

Sigh… somewhere out there in this great Republic of ours, exists a small village, quietly wondering where its resident idiot ran off to, and praying ever so earnestly that it was either into the mouth of an active volcano, or preferably, an overly hungry shark. This sort of thing is one of those tragic examples of a human failing at not only logic, but the keeping of a firm grasp on their already limited sanity, as well.

Let’s unpack what is being presented to us here- it’s not an inquisitive theorem based on fact, but a hardcore case pf mental disengagement from all known reality. First, there’s the issue of the deliberately vague context given regarding the three people pictured, and more importantly, the names of said depicted remain unknown to us as well, which if you want them to become “famous”, is going to manifest itself as being somewhat problematic down the allegorical road.

This lack of credible detail, in and of itself, is not at all surprising, as MAGAts tend to like their conspicuous left open-ended, if only for the wriggle room that such provides, but to cast attempted insurrectionist Ashli Babbitt, the first-time posthumous winner of the newly-minted Congressional “F**k Around and Find Out” Medal, as a complicit double-agent?

Say what you will about these morons, but give them some serious props for kicking their crazy into 4th gear, and running over the family dog, as they do so. For those of you not in the know, Ashli Babbit was, and I repeat WAS, a veteran of the United States Air Force, who after being infected with the scourge that is the ideology of the QAnon political movement, found herself among the mob of traitors that stormed the US Capitol building on ten morning of January 6th, 2020.

On January 5, 2021, the day before the assault on the Capitol, Babbitt tweeted: “Nothing can stop us….they can try and try but the storm is here and it is descending upon DC in less than 24 hours….dark to light….”

Sadly for Babbitt, her prediction of nothing being able to stop “us” was proven adamantly false, when she was fatally shot in the neck by a Capital police officer, after being warned not to continue her advance of attempting to climb through the shattered window of a barricaded door within the Capitol’s restricted-to-the-public area.

The US Capitol Police eventually ruled this thinning of the ignorant MAGA herd as “lawful and within Department policy”, noting in addition that such an action; “potentially saved Members (of Congress) and staff from serious injury and possible death”. And when given the fact that said insurrectionists were actively searching offices for specific individuals and chanting about hanging then VP Mike Pence, I tend to agree with this assessment.

Babbitt was and will always be, a tragically misguided traitor to the country she once swore to protect, and the truly heart-rending reality of it all, is that she undertook her actions under the banner of a mango-man-child who quite honestly, wouldn’t condescend to spit on her corpse if it were on fire. But now, according to the MAGA malcontent that is Susi Downs, she’s part of the Machiavellian malevolence that is the Deep State?

With no due respect Mrs. Downs, I’d opine that it would be rather diplomatic of me, if I dare suggested that the beat part of you, dribbled down your mother’s chin. But Susi of the Bat**it Banshees, isn’t alone in her dissemination of lunacy, for as I inferred earlier, this club is open to all- well, at least those who are willing to check their brains at the proverbial door, that is.

Let’s look at one of the unmentioned elephants just wandering around freely in the room, if we may- despite Trump’s two years of weakly asserting that J6 was the result of noble patriots protesting a “rigged election”, he has yet to do anything to help same said loyalists who’ve been charged with a wide variance of crimes relating to the riot.

Close to 1000 people face consequences ranging from minor to major, for acting out in support if Trump’s whims, and thus far…  he hasn’t done squat for any of them. Not one rally dedicated to raising the money required for a competent legal defense, not one act on their behalf of offering his under-oath testimony given in person, or more realistically, by video deposition, and most tellingly, not one dime documented coming out of his closed to his followers’ pockets, either.

Nine if this matters to his cult of personality pinheads though, because despite all evidence to the contrary, they collectively “just know” that no matter what, their Supreme Leader would never even think of abandoning them in the same way that he has his wives, mistresses, friends, family, and eventually- most trusted allies, for years. Some of this ever-virulent connection to outright madness can be mildly off-kilter, such as this particular exchange here:

Damnit.  Just noticed that I used the same joke thrice. I’m not sure if that’s because I’m seriously tired of dealing with these inane idiots, or if I’m just hitting a lazy phase in my middle-age. Probably both. Bath is good. Now, whole Kevin is obviously living in a world chick-full of Republican rainbows and erroneously selective comprehension, our next looney-tune Trumpist exists in a world that has gone full dark:

I’m not entirely sure what’s currently eating Gibert Gripe here, but I’d lay serious odds that it’s exceedingly hard to pronounce. However, as I’d like to encourage the creative impulse residing within my fellow citizens, let me just say that if this rambling whatever the f**k it is, were to ever be made into a movie directed by *Douglas Eric Liman, I would watch the hell out of it, without a trace of guilt.
[Swingers, The Bourne Identity, Mr. & Mrs. Smith,]

But as it is with all things in MAGA World, no matter what the topic is, be it factual or fantastical, there’s always a mentally-defective cultist who manages against all odds, to craft delusional disingenuousness into a cautionary tale as to just why if you go to a person’s house and they don’t have any books, having sex with them should be an option that’s immediately removed from the table of future plans.

And if you think I’m being overly cynical, then please enjoy the following evidentiary proof:

I cannot even begin to apologize for putting you through that, but imagine you were me, sitting at home, resplendent in your Nightmare before Christmas pajamas, eating a bowl of Cap’n Crunch at 2 in the morning, and you accidentally came across this person, who can legally drive, own a gun, handle sharp pointy things, reproduce, and most terrifyingly… VOTE.

As noted above, I’m not entirely sure what’s currently eating Gibert Gripe here, but I can say that it’s moving through his rapidly degenerating brain, faster than Taylor Swift runs through boyfriends. And while his expressing himself isn’t a crime, his mangling of the English language, along with its grammar and the proper spelling of its vast lexicon, should be.

And lest ye have forgotten, all of this is presented as nothing less than a representational tribute to the twice-impeached, treasonous, lying, grafting, perverted, insurrectionist, and wannabe fascist, who posted this:

Normally, I would refer to this tiny-handed, soulless, morally corrupt, allegedly mushroom-dicked, whore-mongering (and impregnated mistress marrying) piece of human pudding skin, with some colorful if not derogatory nickname, such as “The White Pride Piper”, or maybe even ”The Lone DeRanger”, both of which in my humble estimation, I feel are dead-on. in my ever so humble estimation.

Nevertheless, and speaking only for the eventually to be archived for posterity historical narrative, I think the most apt account of him is simply that he’s no less than a feige Verräterin, who even at his best, is still the worst bedrohung zu Demokratie, that America has ever had to face from within itself.

Feel free to Google those descriptives, because for the money, the German language has some of the best wards ever to describe that which is normally intangible. For instance, the word “Backpfeifengesicht”, which in rough translation, refers to a face that is badly in need of a punch to it.

Which, if we are to be truly honest, is a perfectly normal reaction when one finds themselves in close proximity to any singular person who openly, if not proudly, still supports this treasonous and scrotum-chinned, degenerate baboon. After all, it’s bad enough that we had to endure four far-too-long years of this man-child’s scandals, sexism, racism, naked avarice, stunning incompetence, and narcissistic commentary amounting to nothing, save for piles of literal and pointless word salad.

But now? Dealing with his never-ending fever-dream, wherein he’s the undeserving victim of a cravenly cabal intent on keeping him from the power that he alone, should wield without the oversight of that pesky Constitution he’d prefer be terminated, has been nothing less than a national embarrassment.

And as you’d expect, his calling for the cessation of the very document that our country was founded on and under, raised almost zero concerns among the most devoted of his slavish sycophants.

And while it is true that Rep. Adam Kinzinger, who served as the vice-chair of the House committee investigating the J6 uprising, did say that “not a single conservative can legitimately support him, and not a single supporter can be called a conservative”, the displaying of an equitable amount of non-committal silence from the majority of the GQP hierarchy, was seemingly the rule of the day, and not the assumed exception.

This as well, is also not that much of a shock, as conservatives have proven time and time again, that in their pathetically clouting quest to retain their political power, they’ll happily chuck their sworn oath and personal ethics under a bus, for no other reason than to briefly secure the mercurial favor of a facetious firebrand who would gladly set them aflame, if he needed to stay warm.

Tasty pick, guys. Definitely worth the public humiliation that’s sure to follow for doing so.  

I mean, it’s one thing to hitch your future to a proverbial cart, but when you can’t differentiate between its driver and the jackass pulling it, maybe it’s past the time for a moment of self-refection. However, such inner contemplation is ostensibly not a skillset that the GQP membership can access, given their almost sociopathic hatred for current president Joe Biden, who as “we all know”, was responsible for “stealing” the 2020 election out from under Trump.

Even worse, his arrogance at getting away with it, has only worsened, as supremely evidenced by this 2022 Christmas Eve post, in which he spews his saccharine salutation without shame:

The nerve of this Socialist suck-up- not one word about Jesus Christ, the mythical deity who’s also “the reason for the season” as the cool kids like to say, and on top of that, an inference that despite our political and/or personal differences, we can still find common ground?

Well, screw that buddy, and keep your touchy-feely whiny-woke crap, the hell away from me, if you please. I can’t speak for you of course, but if I desire a Christmas message imbued with the truest spirit of what is being marketed by conservatives as American civility, I’ll go with this guy:

Jesus weeps, that’s beautiful, isn’t it? The extending of Yuletide blessings to not only the wrongly descripted “Radical Left Marxists”, but heartwarmingly, the FBI as well, despite them having the unmitigated gall to catch caught him orange-handed stealing classified documents.

And making sure that his “LOVE TO ALL’ encompasses the special prosecutor, and for some unknown reason, his wife and family, as well as the DOJ who’s going to be sending him to prison sometime in the hopefully near future? That is the epitome of class, boys and girls, and unlike one of Trump’s business checks, you can take that sucker to the bank and cash it like a boss.

One quibble though? If Trump is indeed “clairvoyant”, as he so proudly claims, then why didn’t he foresee the failure of Trump Steaks, GoTrump (a travel website), Trump Airlines, Trump Vodka, Trump Mortgage, “Trump: The Game”, Trump University, Trump Ice (bottled water), the Tour de Trump, the Trump Network, and the United States Football League?

Not to mention, his multiple bankruptcies, his two failed marriages, his dipterous reign as our 45th President, his history-making dual impeachments, and the outcome of the 2020 election? I don’t know that much about the practice of Telesthesia, but I would suggest that the only gift of remote perception that Adolf Twittler here has ever possessed in buckets, would be achieving full clarity after the fact of whatever he’s done has become public knowledge.

Edgar Cayce, Trump is not. But he and Theresa Caputo, the allegedly fraudulent Long Island based medium, could probably find themselves working a carnival side-show together, after their mass marketability has cooled off somewhat.

Speaking of which, it does seem that as of late, Trump isn’t the Gilded Boy he once thought he was. His third attempt at a run for President appears listless and without direction, his ranting is up, while its populist appeal is seemingly wearing thin, and even his once stalwart ego-stroke rallies, are becoming sparser in both their attendance, if not their societal impact.

And for a narcissist such as Trump whose ego has always been far larger than his inherent ability to back it up, the deliberate lack of current mainstream media interest in what he says, does, or thinks, must sting like the ever-loving indictments that are sure to be coming his way.

And if you doubt me, understand that Trump bade the press utilize a ‘media availability’ slot at his annual Mar-a-Lago New Year’s Eve soiree, and not one cable news network covered the event. And in a true “Et tu, Brute?” moment I never would have guessed could ever happen, that list also included Trump’s stereotypical propagandistic lapdogs, Newsmax and FOX.

This unexpected blow to his delusion of being all that and a bag of loan-skips, caused him to take to the Web, and finding himself inspired by his earlier Christmas message, he decided to go one better, and craft another that was even dumber, if not far viler, than its predecessor:

Call me insensitive, but when both your baby mama, as well as your side-chick, leave you hanging with a case of allegorical blue-balls, rather than delivering the expected threesome you thought was coming your way, the tensile strength of your self-worth, has got to be reduced to that of a bowl of microwaved Velveeta.

Which, let’s face it, is already kind of what Trump resembles to begin with. And that’s on a good day.

Granted, the additional embarrassment he suffered at the hands of the public at large being made aware via his court-released tax returns, that his decades-long attempt at mythologizing his supposed intellectual and business prowess, was actually constructed on the quicksand of unwarranted braggadocio, which to be honest, is the only skillset that this mango Mussolini has ever actually possessed in gilded buckets.

And this loss of faux face, regardless of how much dime-store bronzer he applies to it, has most certainly rubbed his repulsive rhubarb raw, something that this post inadvertently attests to

Clearly, this mewling man-child has no unde5standing of just how the American legal system actually works, despite his being continually, if not criminally, involved with it on a first-name basis for decades.

To note, my Cheeto Führer: no president has ever had “standing” over their own election, due to the realty that there are still THREE branches of government involved in the process. A fact that while highly inconvenient for s wannabe fascist like yourself, is essential to reaffirm the necessity, that America remains a constitutional republic, and not the second-rate Stalinist state that you’d like to install, via your cult of puerile personality.

“Nothing to see here, folks, save for a bunch of faux patriots cosplaying “I’m a Nuremberger.” ‘.

Additionally, it is not “unprecedented” for a President to hand over their tax returns, as American Presidents have been doing it WILLINGLY, SINCE NIXON RESIGNED IN DISGRACE.

Not only are you the first president who’s refused to do so in close to fifty years, you’re also the first one that fought multiple court challenges to protect that which was already widely known- the reality that you’re a fraud, a liar, a tax cheat, a hypocrite, and worst of all for your petulant ego, you were never a “Billionaire”, and you never will be, either.

I’ve never met you my treasonous firebrand, and quote honestly, never hope to, but given your penchant for having a sensitivity in concern to your public image that’s rumored to be equivalent to the skin of an onion, that last part just has to burn your larded ass, as if you were using the lava jets of Stromboli as a bidet.

However, it’s your slamming of the Supreme Court that I’m really enjoying here- can you imagine the frustration of managing to successfully install no less than three of your expected allies with great confidence, “knowing” that they would protect you from prosecution, if not supplementary public mortification, and then experience them doing neither, as they refuse to even take a side-glance at your weak AF case claiming non-existent voter fraud?

Ouch, I say. Just “ouch”. I’ve heard the saying that you should “keep your friends close and your enemies closer”, but I myself, have never kept either so close that they could easily place my spawn-hammer into a blender, and then hit the “liquefy” button, as if they were ringing the service bell at a dry cleaner’s, let me tell you.

As for the rest of your (as usual) unfounded and reflectively libelous commentary, Biden’s personal tax records fall under the transparency of being an accessible PUBLIC RECORD, so maybe you should “Google”, before you “Truth”. That’s just a friendly suggestion, from me the cynical realist, to you, the insanely peevish 76-year-old mango-tinted-toddler, who believes that tantrum-throwing is akin to a measured debate.

But then again, should we expect anything less from the humiliated man-child that posted this?

That’s the potential GQP 2024 Presidential candidate everyone: the self-described member of “the lucky sperm club.”, and “stable-genius”, who’s undeniably “really smart”, with the “highest IQ”, and concurrently, the “best friend” that Women, Blacks, and the Gay Community “will ever have”.

Trump, who is of course, none of these things, once aggrandized in an interview that his process for defining the creative decisions in his life was, like the man himself, actually quite simple: “I try to step back and remember my first shallow reaction. The day I realized it can be smart to be shallow was, for me, a deep experience.”

Irrespective of what his words, deeds, and certified reality have to say about such boasts, this narcissistic immaturity isn’t a singular character quirk of Trump’s- it is quite literally, the entire essence of his pathetically putrid being.

Trump is every AXE-soaked Bro at a college party, bragging about all the women he’s (never) had, he’s every middle-aged ex-jock, lying about his (non) glory days on the high school field, and he’s most certainly the stereotype of every born-into-wealth-man-child, who received stock tips and flawed character traits from his father, rather than the love he so desperately needed and craved.

And I say this, as a person who’s contending with some seriously major Daddy issues, himself.

However, one of Trump’s biggest failings as a human, is just how bad he is at actually being one. I’ve oft said that if the ethereal aspects of Tone-Deaf and Cluelessness ever had a baby, Trump would be the spawn produced. Speaking only for myself, I have never seen a person that’s so wrapped up in their own self-styled myth, that they can’t visualize the world around them as it actually exists.

And keep in mind, this was a joke once presented to me: “A televangelist, a GOP politician, and the writer Wayne Michael Reich, have perished in a plane crash, and find themselves standing before the judgement of the One True God, who queries the trio, as to why any of them should be allowed to enter his Kingdom.

The televangelist says: “I spread your message passionately, and converted thousands to your faith.”. God ponders this for a moment, and says; ” That is awesome! You may sit on my right side.” He then asks the same question of the GOP politician, who states; “As I too believe in you and your teachings, I attempted to pass legislation to try and mandate that it be part of the American educational curriculum in public schools.”

God obviously considers this a supreme compliment, and then declares: “For honoring me so devotedly, you may sit on my left” He then turns to Wayne Michael Reich, and asks; “What do you have to say, my child? Wayne stares directly at the proverbial Lord and Father to All, and curtly announces; “Look buddy, I have no goddamn idea in Hell who you think you are, but I do believe that you’re sitting in my f**king seat.””

Now, while this is disturbingly accurate on many levels, it still doesn’t compare with just how disconnected Trump is from the common pond of human interaction, overall. Whether it’s his confusing 9/11 with the convenience store chain known as 7/11, as he did back in 2015, his ability to create cringe-worthiness out of the empty air is legendary.

Take said speech where he does so, and that, ever so flawlessly: “I wrote this out, and it’s very close to my heart. Because I was down there, and I watched our police and our firemen down at 7/11 — down at the World Trade Center right after it came down. And I saw the greatest people I’ve ever seen in action. I saw the bravest people I’ve ever seen.”

Now, while this is no more than a slip of the tongue that could happen to us all, it’s compounded by the should be embarrassing fact that as I noted earlier within this screed; there is no credible evidence of his ever being present at Ground Zero at any point in the process. No valid eyewitness accounts, no personal or journalistic photo exists of such, nor is there any corroborating news footage either.

But as I just assessed, Trump is so far removed from that which makes us human, he literally has no idea what to do when confronted with, or sitting in the presence of, an actually functioning one. Case in point, his remarks concerning former POW, the late John McCain: “He’s not a war hero. He was a war hero because he was captured. I like people who weren’t captured.”

This vile statement BTW, courtesy of a craven who faked “bone spurs” to avoid the draft, while McCain was undergoing torture imprisoned in a cage, but I digress. Let us also not forget this delightful slice of his inherent misogyny, directed at Megyn Kelly, who was one of Fox News’ moderators in the first Republican debate: “You could see there was blood coming out of her eyes, blood coming out of her wherever.”

Ahh… degrading the biological processes of women- that’s a sure-fire way to impress them, let me tell you. And if you’re going to try and woo the Latina community to support your ongoing outreach to them, then there’s no better way to do it, than by tweeting; “Happy #CincoDeMayo! The best taco bowls are made in Trump Tower Grill. I love Hispanics!”

This casual racism aside, let’s ponder its influence regarding his 2015 suggestion on “Fox and Friends”, that we (the US) should not only kill the terrorists that threaten us, but their families as well, which by the way, would be considered a war crime: “The other thing with the terrorists is you have to take out their families, when you get these terrorists, you have to take out their families. They care about their lives, don’t kid yourself. When they say they don’t care about their lives, you have to take out their families,”

And when it comes to the African-American voting demographic, nobody has ever had a stronger sales pitch than Donald J Trump: “You’re living in poverty, your schools are no good, you have no jobs, 58 percent of your youth is unemployed. What the hell do you have to lose? Yup… that’s the embodiment of an all-around well-balanced human coming through, kids.

Sadly, I could go on for days reciting his seemingly endless list of inanely soulless commentary, but I think you’ve all grasped the concept of what I was exploring at this point. That being, he literally can’t “human”, even when his fraudulent fortune, facetiously-based fame, and continuing personal freedom, depends on his doing so.

However, where this abominable character flaw of his really comes shining through, is when there’s actual human suffering occurring within his purview. Take this moment of compassionate humanity, snapped at an aid station in Guaynabo, Puerto Rico:

That’s Trump, in his alleged guise as the US President, tossing out rolls of paper towels to FLOOD VICTIMS, as if he were shooting free-throws for the Knicks. Ostensibly visiting its residents after Hurricane Maria devastated the island, it’s now obvious that his failed attempt at engaging in humanitarianism, was no more than a PR stunt, designed to save orange-face after complaints that the US government’s handling of the storm’s aftermath was too slow, became too public for him to ignore.

Trump for his part, whose actions were labeled as being “insulting” by Carmen Yulin Cruz, the mayor of San Juan, found himself branded as the “mis-communicator-in-chief”, by the same, due to not only his disgusting act of chucking the proverbial Bounty, but for his complaining about the expected cost of storm recovery, as well.

In a stunningly clueless revelation of his lack of basic concern for others, the ever-oblivious Mango Moron said to the unfortunate assembled, that; “you’ve thrown our budget a little out of whack… but that’s fine”. In a later media interview, Mayor Cruz noted that “there was no exchange with anybody, with none of the mayors”, highlighting that; “this terrible and abominable view of him throwing paper towels and throwing provisions at people, it really… it does not embody the spirit of the American nation, you know?”

Trust me, Mayor Cruz… WE KNOW.

But as is normal for our narcissiically nattering nincompoop of numbskullery, he didn’t see this embarrassingly immature debacle in quite the same way that the world entire did, going so far as to confidently tweet the following, without any definable trace of self-awareness for the fiasco itself, or the well-being of those he had selfishly subjected to it:

Once again though, this inferred claim of being the true victim of a situation really shouldn’t come as any form of unexpected surprise to anyone, as avoiding reality and/or the blame for such, is just the SOP for this perpetual SOB. Aww… was the international media correctly calling you out for acting like a jackass on the world stage, Donny? Poor baby. Here’s a room-temperature Diet Coke, served with a heaping slice of STFU, you walking tangerine-tinted taint.

Lest we’ve forgotten, irrespective of the true parameters of what is actually being discussed at any given time, Trump’s gift for deflecting his role in regards to it, is aways on point. A prime example of this, occurred when the husband of Former Speaker Nancy Pelosi, Paul Pelosi, had been attacked inside their home as he slept, by a hammer-wielding QAnon-conspiracy-theorist, allegedly inspired by Trump’s seemingly never-ending litany of election fraud lies

Trump’s personal take on the political atmosphere that led to the attack, and which he most certainly, was partially responsible for? Just what you would expect from the type of person who has never once in his over-privileged life, ever been forced to truly suffer the consequences of the actions that he undertakes.

In an interview that he granted to the conservative Spanish language outlet, Americano Media, Trump’s signature tone-deafness was on full-display as he opined that: “With Paul Pelosi, that’s a terrible thing, with all of them it’s a terrible thing, Look at what’s happened to San Francisco generally. Look at what’s happening in Chicago. It was far worse than Afghanistan. We have to give the police back their dignity, their respect. They can solve the problem. But today if a police officer says something that’s slightly out of line it’s like the end of his life, the end of his pension, the end of his family, We can’t do that. We have to give the police back their authority and their power and their respect. Because this country is out of control.”

If I were to ask an understandable question, of this self-styled stable genius, it would center on just what, pray tell, do the cities of San Francisco, Chicago, and the country of Afghanistan, have to do with Pelosi being attacked in his home by one of his cravenly-delusional cultists? Not to mention, what in the f**k does the entirely separate issue regarding the alleged loss of police dignity and authority, fit in as well?

I don’t know what’s truly the most pathetic thing about Trump, and mythical Lord knows, there’s quite the list to openly choose from, but his incapacity to just answer a simple question “correctly” and then just succinctly shut the hell up in regard to it, has got to crest at the top of his particularly unique inanity incline.

To be fair, when factoring in his love of gleaning schadenfreude from the misfortunes of others, I’m actually quite surprised that Trump was so measured in his remarks, what with his exceeding dislike and turbulent history with former Speaker Pelosi, because after all, this is also the same allegorical “man” that after Senator John McCain died from brain cancer, whined that; “I gave him the kind of funeral that he wanted, which as president I had to approve, I don’t care about this. I didn’t get a thank you. That’s OK. We sent him on the way, but I wasn’t a fan of John McCain.”

Say what you will about Trump’s sense of faux victimhood, but nobody could ever successfully claim that they ran into it accidentally, given both its appalling girth, and ever-increasing decibel level. For the more erudite among us, the assumption that Trump would learn from his transparent mistakes was considered a safe bet, but as we all eventually experienced for ourselves, any such expectations, were fated to be dead wrong.

Speaking of things that are dead, you would have thought that while Trump himself may be dumber than a brick, certainly his hand-picked advisors would have gained valuable insights from his growing gaffe assemblage, and in that sense, you might be on to something, but even when the message disseminated was perceptibly transposed by someone else’s hand, Trump’s revulsion for all things sympathetically expressed, still bleeds through:

So, what exactly, is wrong with this solemn message of remembrance, you ask?

Well to start, the sympathy expressed within, is granted to the Republican party first, before the family that actually suffered the loss, which regardless of what side of the partisan fence you may find yourself standing on, is the epitome of tastelessness. Second, at no point throughout this message entire, are the actual names of “Diamond” (Ineitha Lynnette Hardaway) and her surviving sister  “Silk”, (Herneitha Rochelle Hardaway Richardson) ever notated.

This could be due to his wanting to acknowledge them as he knew them, (IE; “no better TEAM anywhere”) or more likely, it’s because he didn’t know, or more to the point; care to know, their real names to begin with.

I base this horrific in any other situation assessment, on the following comment he made in his role as an invited eulogist at Diamond’s funeral service: “I’m serious, I thought I knew them both. I didn’t. I knew Diamond but I didn’t know Silk at all. I just learned about Silk.” [To Silk] “You’re fantastic. You’re going to carry on beyond, beyond anybody’s wildest imaginations.”

This, despite comments in the past, where he labeled them both as “warriors”, and tweeted; “But I love Diamond & Silk, and so do millions of people!”, after FOX cut ties with the duo for disseminating debunked conspiracy theories about COVID-19. In response, the Trump campaign issued a statement saying that; “Diamond and Silk are tremendously valued supporters of President Trump. They fight for the President and are continued valued members of Team Trump.”  

To his exceedingly limited credit, while he did refer to Diamond as one of the “world’s brightest stars”, and despite the reality of D & S being co-chairs of Black-Voices for Trump, as well as Women for Trump board members, along with having been previously invited to the White House for a face-to-face with Trump himself, he still thought that Silk at her sister’s funeral, (and to her face no less) would appreciate hearing; “I didn’t know Silk at all. I just learned about Silk”?

Despite this unintentional (?) slight, when Silk took the stage, she posited that; ‘Instead of asking if Americans are vaxxed or unvaxxed, the real question to ask is: Are Americans being poisoned? In the wild, when they want to depopulate and sterilize a large group of animals, they usually inject one animal, and that one animal infect the rest of the animals, People are dropping dead around here, and nobody is talking about it! They are dropping dead suddenly and unexpectedly.’

This asinine suggestion, hurled by a woman who had recently lost both her sister if not her meal ticket, then segued into a possibly Freudian slip, as she chronicled the final moments of her sister: ‘She said to me, ‘I can’t breathe.’ It was something out of nowhere, and no warning. Each breath was less, and less, and less, What I want to say to everybody is don’t you dare call me a conspiracy theorist. Because I saw it happen. I saw how it happened. I was there when it happened, and it happened suddenly.”

First, this sounds like the classic symptoms of a COVID-related death, and second, no it didn’t “happen suddenly”, as Silk had tweeted; “Anyone who believes in the power of prayer please pray for Diamond,”, back in November, which was quite the passage of time before her sister’s eventual death. And thirdly, Silk’s claim “Because I saw it happen. I saw how it happened”, underscores a question that as of yet, nobody seems to have asked, that being: What exactly did you “see” happen, Silk?

If your equally as dumb and now deceased sister didn’t die from COVID, just release the cause of death, and those that are curious, will move on. If she did, and yet you maintain that it was the vaccine she took that actually killed her instead, then it means that at least one of you is (or was) a flaming hypocrite, given your very well publicized and marketed stance regarding both COVID, and its medical bulwark.

In lieu of this telling coinky-dink, Silk has steadfastly maintained that her sister did not die of COVID, tweeting: ‘Where’s your proof that my sister died from contracting COVID-19? No Proof plus No Truth equates to a Lawsuit”, which of course, is not how any of this actually works, and is probably as close to an admission that COVID was indeed the cause of Diamond’s death, as we’re ever going to get.

Silk’s incendiary antivaxx statements, as yet unproven, obviously inspired known nutjob, allegedly antisemitic Jewish Space Laser critic, and full-time conspiracy theorist Rep. Marjorie Taylor Greene, to take to Twitter, and launch the following “I need 15 more minutes of Fame” Molotov cocktail: ‘I demand an IMMEDIATE investigation into COVID vaccines and the dramatic increase of people dying suddenly! This can no longer be ignored and is NOT political.’

And just in case any of you have lost the thread of this narrative, all of this took place at a funeral. AT A FUNERAL. A MEMORIAL DEDICATED TO THE PUREST REMBERANCES OF A PERSON’S LIFE.

Seriously. What. In. The. Actual. F**k.

However, it only gets “better”, for as we’ve all come to expect, Trump used his time at bat, to show just how bats**t crazy he’s become, by issuing such compassionate bon-mots as; “Countries are emptying out their prisons and mental institutions into the US! And gas prices are too damn high! Also inflation is bad!”

Staying on brand, he remained off target and tone-deaf throughout the memorial-service-turned-Trump rally,, by issuing some rather bizarre commentary about the crowd size, saying that; “The chapel wouldn’t have held the kind of people, the number of people that we have, And we’re doing it right and that’s the way it should be and I did notice a big line of very, very nice vehicles outside. That’s got to be handled properly, right? So we’re going to handle it properly. Go out in style. She knew that. Go out in style.”

By the way, said number of people that purportedly couldn’t be “held” was estimated to be around 150, so as it is the case with all things Trumpian, up is down, dry is wet, and three inches magically becomes a very girthy seven and a half.,

Nevertheless, Trump did get back on track (sort of) when he summed up the three hours plus service where (GASP!) he wasn’t the primary center of attention, with his as equally sensitive assertion of; “They told me, just give me a little time. I’ve got a lot of people waiting for me back in a place called Palm Beach, Florida. They said give me a little time. What do you think it’ll take? About 15 – 20 minutes, in and out. I said ‘Well it could take longer.’ This is a little longer than 15 minutes, right?”

Don’t worry, Donny- when the glorious day comes that you did something good for humanity by shuffling off the mortal coil, your service will not only be over in 15 minutes, it’ll have time to spare, as the only people in attendance, will be there to happily pi** on your grave, which I can only assume, will be gilded.

As he wrapped up his truly inappropriate session of self-aggrandizement, he inanely referenced his 2020 election loss and subsequent lies about it, saying: “How do we stop the cheating? How do we stop it where you get more votes, but you still don’t win? The answer is the Republicans have to get tougher, the top people have to get tougher, and you have to really swamp ’em.”

Now, I know what you’re thinking: shocking that a man who has shown such retrained decorum in the past, would be so crass at such a potentially painful time, but let’s not forget just how Trump actually viewed this racially-embarrassing duo of Stephanie Fetchit cosplayers. In their first appearance at a Trump rally in 2015, our Captain of Condolences here, introduced them by saying; “I hope you monetized this- do your routine.”

Do your routine”, said the then most powerful man on the planet, using the same tone of voice that Bart, the former slave and newly appointed sheriff of the fictional town of Rock Ridge in 1974’s “Blazing Saddles”, was asked to perform a musical number by a cowboy known only as Lyle: “When you were slaves, you sang like birds. Go on… how about a good old ni***r work song?” 

Granted, while those weren’t the words that Trump used, the inferred inflection was the same, regardless, and therein that account, lies who Trump really is- a shell of a man that when the once useful to his personality cult find themselves eternally separated from his influence, either by choice or mortality, considers their prior said value as GQP tokens, as negated. Such is the fate of all Trump allies, albeit sooner or later.

And if I may continue on with my bluntness, be it ever so curt, such is, and always will be, the providence of his slavish fan base as well, because for Trump, people are no more and no less than the accessible means to whatever end he wishes to achieve.

Fortuitously for me, if not the wrapping-up of this particular screed, I have the perfect case in point:

A “MAJOR ANNOUNCEMENT”, you say? Well Donny, I’m all ears. Obviously, this must have something to do with the policies you’ll be promoting via your previously declared 2024 run for president, or maybe even, the launch of a strategy to get all those prosecutions you’re currently facing, to go away. You know, like your 2nd mistress and 3rd wife, wishes you would?

However, I could be wrong about all of that, and this pre-warning you’ve posted for us all, is in regards to who will be both your VP pick and eventual scapegoat, when you get busted yet again for usurping established Constitutional law. I hear Kari Lake has a lot of free time on her hands these days, and the best part is that she’s rumored to come with her own built-in set of Instagram filters, for media interviews.

After all, you did say that; “AMERICA NEEDS A SUPERHERO”, and I can’t think of a better superpower for a politician, than the ability to always be in soft focus when they have to talk to Tucker Carlson, can you? What’s that you say? I’m way off-base in regards to all of that? Well then, my masculine maestro of marketing, what amazing thing is it exactly, that you’d like to share with us?

[Artbitch stares blankly into the void, closes laptop, walks into his kitchen, and starts slamming Pan Galactic Gargle Blasters two-fisted, as if his very life depended on doing so. He then lapses into an alcoholic-inspired diabetic coma, “sleeps” for four days, wakes up, groggily re-opens laptop, and seriously contemplates just why he does this to himself, and wonders if it’s too late for him to choose another career. Say like knitting, perhaps?]


Here we collectively are, attempting to rebuild the country’s decorum and political process, as we’re being repetitively barraged by your claims that only you can fix the damage that you and your ilk debatably inflicted upon us, and rather than use this moment to introduce allegorical salves into the national discussion as a means to help America regain its unity, you laud this egotistical circle-jerk, instead?


However, as I’m obviously not a card-carrying member of the MAGAt brigade, my opinion can be considered (and rightly so) as somewhat circumspect. So, how well did the average Trumpist adherent react to this wholly unexpected big reveal?  In all honesty, I’d charitably say that the reaction was mixed:

As it turned out, his slavish base of mental malcontents was expecting political progress, not shameless personal promotion, and as such, Trump’s unveiling of his newest alleged money-laundering scam, was widely mocked not only on both sides of the partisan pasture, but within the Alt-Wrong media sphere, as well. And as I noted earlier, such an occurrence being bestowed upon an egotist such as Trump, is akin to you or I, being denied the gift of oxygen.

Other believers, who prior to Trump’s non-announcement, guarded the metaphorical corridors of his MAGA mansion with literal sweat and blood, were far less inclined to be charitable in concern to his pathetic cash-grab, especially those who, thanks to their willing involvement in relation to the detestable events of J6, are now facing some serious prison time:

I for one, would never willingly align myself in any way. shape, or form, with such a person as “Baked Alaska” as he’s not only an Alt-Wrong loon, but a stridently ardent advocate of White Supremacy as well, but all that aside, I will begrudgingly have to admit that this warrior of the Vanilla Vanguard, did call it correctly here.

Not only has this moron tossed a good chunk of his life away for a gritter doused in snake oil, he did so based on a lie. And I don’t care who you are, or what you believe in, that’s still gotta sting like a bitch. But as bad as that is, the reaction from the MAGAt community at large, has been one expressing disgusted confusion at their Mango Mussolini’s pandering.

Damn. That’s some serious blow-back, especially from the cravenly cultists that previously, were seemingly cool with Trump’s history of adultery, pathological lying, alleged tax fraud and money laundering, self-admitted sexual assault, payments of hush money, derogatory commentary regarding women, minorities, POW’s, Muslims, immigrants seeking asylum, and numerous documented acts of possible treason.

And who among us may I ask, would have ever guessed that the allegorical line in the sand for these asinine adherents, would be drawn at trading cards? If we had only known then, what we unfortunately know now, maybe, just maybe, we could have enlisted the help of Topps four years ago, and stopped this demagogue of dipshi**ery before he even began.

But seriously and with all jokes aside, how bad could these cards really be?

I’ve often joked about there being no God, and as you’d surmise, I have no proof whatsoever to back up my theorem as such. But now? I’d dare say that not only does the existence of these artistic monstrosities certify my atheism, they may finally provide the metaphorical ammo that I’ve been lacking all these years, to convince others of the same.

But as with all things Trumpian, there’s a catch, and it’s laid out right at the start of his sales pitch:

What a deal- if you buy just one of these “rare’”cards, you can not only win 1000’s of sure to be unrewarded prizes, there’s the slimmest of chances for you to meet the twice-impeached ex-president and future federal inmate, Donald J. Trump! All you need do, is give ninety-nine dollars of your hard-earned money to this purported billionaire and known huckster, and you’re in like Flynn.

By the way, the definition of “rare” is such: “(of a thing) not found in large numbers and consequently of interest or value”. Keeping in mind that these cards are not printed, they’re essentially digital downloads, and that the repository of availability is 45K, calling these cards “rare”, is like saying that come Christmas time, you can’t find “It’s a Wonderful Life” playing on TV.

You get the idea, but trust me, it only gets more ridiculous:

For those of you bad at math, this golden opportunity to break bread with possibly the most disgraceful ex-president in American history, will set you back $4,555. The very idea of paying that much to have dinner with a known traitor, while disgusting, is really not what I’m curious about here, to be honest. I’m far more curious that when given Trump’s well-known tendencies to do all things on the cheap, if said dinner would look like this:

Sadly, this is not a still from an SNL skit, or a photoshopped image, either. This was the in all seriousness “dinner” presented to Clemson University’s football team, winners of the national college championship. 300 burgers, as well as pizza and fries, were on the menu, and despite what it looks like, this event was being held at the White House and not a small-town Wendy’s, which would have been far more appropriate, in regards to the embarrassing fare that was being offered.

Speaking of his disconcerting attempt at a grand fete, Trump blathered; “We ordered American fast food, paid for by me. Lots of hamburgers, lots of pizza, we have some very large people that like eating, so I think we’re going to have a little fun.” Continuing on, he declared that; “I like it all, it’s all good stuff. Great American food … I like em all, if it’s American I like, it’s all-American stuff, but it’s good stuff. But I’ll bet you as much food as we have – we have pizzas, we have 300 hamburgers, many many french fries, all of our favorite foods – I wanna see what’s here when we leave, because I don’t think it’s gonna be much.”

Oddly, despite the fact that he had already notated the number of burgers at the event being no more than 300, Trump later claimed that 1000 burgers had been ordered instead, because… um… he’s a practitioner of grandiose lying, perhaps? But I’ll let the lying king speak for himself: “I had a choice – do we have no food for you or do we give you some little quick salads that the first lady will make along with … the second lady, I said you guys aren’t into salads. Or, do I … go out and send out for about 1,000 hamburgers. So that’s what we did.”

Now, with that fine example of high-end catering under his belt, I’m confident that any dinner that Trump plans, is sure to be a hit. That is, if he actually plans to have any of those so-called “winners” on the guest list:

Gosh… are you thinking what I’m thinking? That maybe, just maybe, there’s a very good chance that Trump plans to take the money he made from this alleged money-laundering scam, and run for the safety of his gilded bathroom at the very first opportunity? Nah, that just has to be my inherent cynicism bleeding through, cynical, because just look at all the other “prizes” that are laying around, awaiting their chance to be awarded to an unwitting yet still willing, mark:

Wow. Given the high-caliber quality of both these cards [sarcasm alert] and Trump’s penchant for not living up to any of his promises, I’m curious to see just how many enthusiastic suckers believe that any of these advertised accolades, will ever actually be awarded to the delusional throng that fell for this garbage.

I’m sorry- did I say that these digital disappointments were of “high-caliber quality”? My sincerest apologies, as my intended assessment was to point out that these traitor cards, dedicated to one mans egotistical circle-jerk, are akin to what would result if I had asked my 78-year-old formerly ditch-digging sprinkler contractor father, to play with Photoshop, and then blocked all access to the online tutorials showing him how to use it properly.

Case in point, this completely amateurish photocollage, wherein Trump’s vacuous head has been crudely grafted onto somebody else’s body, with the end result being exactly what you would expect of anyone associated with the King of Outsourcing.

To illustrate what I’m talking about, let’s take a look at said image, as it appears on the traitor card website:

Right off the bat, you’ll notice that something seems off, and you’d be right. Trump’s head in particular, seems as if it’s set a tad bit too high on his non-seen neck, his skin tone doesn’t seem to be in balance with the atmospheric lighting of the image, and there’s a peculiar halo effect occurring about his face and hair as well. A closer examination of this image, reveals just why that is, and trust me, it’s hilarious:

Goddamn, that is truly pathetic AF. My seven-year-old grand-niece could do a better job of photo-masking than this, and she’s still using those safety scissors that look like a panda:

You would think that a self-declared “billionaire” who once tweeted, and that, without any sense of irony; “My two greatest assets have been mental stability and being, like, really smart”, might have actually employed a competent photo retoucher for this project, but I can only guess that the guy he did hire, spent most of his time giving Trump the idealized body that he’s never possessed, instead.

I’m going to go into what the far bigger problem with this incompetent assemblage s in a few moments, but for now, let’s just note that this isn’t the first time that Trump has passed this sort of thing off as if it were normal. Take for instance, this weird, if not wholly mentally unbalanced, post of Trump’s from 2019, wherein his 73-year-old countenance, was grafted onto the body of the then 16-year-old climate activist (and Time’s Person of the Year) Greta Thunberg:

After seeing this act of puerile pettiness from a cravenly and treasonous septuagenarian aimed at a teenager who, by the quickest of comparisons alone, is a far more mature and worthwhile addition to this planet than he will ever hope to be, I feel that I have to rescind my earlier statement regarding what is, or should I more correctly say, what was “truly pathetic AF

This is. Hands down.

I mean… how f**king weak must your ego be, that in your undeserved role as one of the most powerful people on Earth, the thought of a child being on a magazine cover sets you off as if you were a six-year-old that’s been denied candy at the checkout line?

But here’s something even sadder… this isn’t the first “Time” that Trump has done this:

In 2017, Time Magazine demanded that Trump remove the cover depicted above, one that was seen hanging prominently in no less than six of his golf clubs, because it was deemed to be by Time itself, as being nothing more than a [SURPRISE!] mediocre fake. The image, dated March 1, 2009 did not correspond with the actual issue of that time period, which featured the actress Kate Winslet, instead of America’s walking analog of a diaper-rash poster child.

While this public humiliation perfectly illustrates Trump’s pathological need to have his ego masturbated every five minutes, the really odd standout about this act of barely middling forgery is that there was no actual need for it to begin with. At that particular moment in time, (no pun intended) Trump has already garnered a number of covers under his ever-lengthening belt, and therefore, had more than a few to choose from in concern to his interior decorating options.

In fact, Trump once (?) even openly bragged [what a shock] about what he had accomplished: “I have been on their cover 14 or 15 times. I think we have the all-time record in the history of Time magazine,”  

Regrettably for Trump’s onion-skinned ego, the New York Times discovered that while Trump had [at that time] landed the cover on 11 separate occasions, the record for most covers, with the total being set at 55, belonged to the equally disgraced former President Richard Nixon, which on some level, just has to set some sort of benchmark for foreshadowed irony.

Now even though it may not be obvious as to why I’m dredging up this ancient history, it will manifest its importance down the road. Until then, I suggest we get back to examining some of the more interesting aspects of Trump’s venture into NFT land, starting with the incredibly unique ordering process involved:

So, to recap this in its essence, if you want to buy a specific image of Trump, albeit as a Cowboy, Astronaut, Jet Pilot, or my personal favorite, whatever the f**k this is supposed to be;

… best of luck to you, because you’re going to get what you get, irrespective of what you actually may want. Which, when you think about it, is definitively on brand for anything that Trump is seemingly involved in, or married to. But don’t you worry, because if you do come back to your senses later on after realizing that you’ve been duped yet again by your mango-man-crush, you do have options open to you.

Just not any good ones:

That’s right, kids- despite all the legalese babbled throughout this self-declared non-advisory panel, all you need know is that while you can openly sell or “trade” your collection of magic beans, there’s no firm guarantee that they’ll retain their value, nor is there any respite from Trump’s money-grubbing ways either, as the 10% “royalty fee” most certifiably asserts.

And if you honestly believe that the artist who created these eyesores of artistic impenitence, will ever see another dome past the pittance he was moist certainly paid, have I got a deal on some traitor cards for you.

Oops. Never mind. Somebody already beat me to it.

But if buyer’s remorse does come a knocking, and you find yourself asking; “if I’m dissatisfied with my so-called purchase, at least I still have the opportunity to get all of my money back, right?”, well, get ready to understand that you’re dealing with a man who once he gets a grip on your money, (or anyone’s for that matter) the only way that you’ll ever see it again, is when he brags about what he just bought with it:

In fact, the company that lunched this venture, known only as NFT INT LCC, supposedly operates out of Delaware, but the physical address of said company, is linked to a PO Box in a Utah-based UPS store. I’m sure that’s not an indicator of shadiness or anything, regardless of all evidence to the contrary.

Unfortunately for Trump, his seemingly money-laundering NFT shell company, and whomever he hired to craft this comically inept and savagely mocked collection, they didn’t use any of that money to buy the usage rights of the images that they digitally manipulated to form this collection of cringe.

Remember when I earlier alluded to Trump’s proclivity for forging a false legacy? I guess old habits die hard, especially when they can be used to make an as always, dishonest buck:

Yup, you read that right. The Ex-President of the United States, supposed billionaire, self-declared “stable genius”, and guy who’s “really really smart”, allegedly created his NFT collection, using unlicensed, copyrighted photos that are rightfully deemed as intellectual property, from companies such as Branded, Scully Sportswear, Men’s Warehouse, Walmart, Amazon, Shutterstock, and even NASA.

You know… low-profile companies that nobody has ever heard of? Man, I don’t know if it’s chutzpah or mental illness that drives Trump to make these asinine power-plays, but either way, the intellectual void that serves as the barometer for his critical thinking, is most definitely out of whack.

However, even when I take into account Trump’s past history of licentious appropriation, I still find myself hard-pressed to believe that he could be that goddamn openly stupid, without some form of tangible evid…..
Oh look, there it is! Right out in the open, for all to see. I guess ’former Secretary of State Rex Tillerson was right after all, when he allegedly called Trump a “f**king moron”, because the proof of such, is literally laid out right before us.

Honestly, I’m not sure if we should even be collectively mad at this latest act of blatant act of theft on his part, or far more furious that after decades of practicing graft, Trump hasn’t gotten any better at not getting caught engaging in it. As is the case with many of you, I’ve heard my share of stories about royally screwing oneself, but they’ve always been metaphorical, and not a certified act of willingly doing so with a dildo fashioned from fish hooks and razor blades.

Because if there truly are “hundreds of different cards featuring President Trump”, the odds are equally good that our Mango Maroon, just opened up an entire truckload of legal whoop-ass, on purpose. Tillerson may have said the obvious in concern to charting Trump’s single-digit IQ, but yet, his influence over the GQP’s mindless masses, remains as strong as it ever was…. sort of.

By that, I mean to highlight the current cycle of self-inflected implosion the Conservative movement is seemingly suffering through. Whereas Trump was once unquestionably the Gilded Boy of divisive politics, the ivory tower that he once occupied ever so haughtily, is starting to show some serious foundational cracks.

Other than the Alt-Wrong media pullback earlier descripted above, Trump’s disastrous ploy of backing unqualified, yet loyally sycophantic candidates in their run for office, such as Karl Lake and Hershel Walker, resulted in losses that across the board, were akin to nothing less than the GQP accepting an unexpected group invitation to bathe at Elizabeth Bathory’s house.

Factor in the earlier presented examples of even the most ardent of his cravenly clique feeling free to call out their Emperor for wearing digital clothes, and you can easily understand just why headlines like this, are becoming that much more common, as his abominable appeal interminably wanes:

In fact, a well-known Trump ally, former Secretary of State Mike Pompeo, got right to the point describing this feeling of underreported malaise currently afflicting Republicans, when he tweeted; “We were told we’d get tired of winning. But I’m tired of losing. And so are most Republicans,”

And that’s what if took for the GQP to finally start finding Trump considerably distasteful… the losing.

NOT the dereliction of his duty to the American people. NOT the ceaseless whining about losing the 2020 election to non-existent voter fraud, nor the lies he’s continually disseminated regarding it. NOT the boorish vulgarity that he so proudly displayed on the world stage. NOT the incompetence of his administration’s response to the COVID-19 Pandemic. NOT the praising of dictators. NOT the glad tidings given to a pedophile’s procurer.

NOT calling for the unwarranted arrest and prosecution of political enemies. NOT the demand that freedom of the Fourth Estate be chilled. NOT the self-admitted acts of deliberate sexual assault. NOT the stealing of classified documents. NOT the two impeachments, the nepotism, the cronyism, or the graft that sprung unfettered from its insidious installment. And most disturbingly, if not tellingly, NOT THE ATTEMPTED OVERTHROWING of established American democracy, to boot.

When Trump found himself handed his allegorical walking papers, if not his own fat ass, at the end of his four years too long reign, the stench of the GQP’s monstrous malevolency, was finally revealed at the literal doorstep of the People’s house. Make no mistake- the acquisition and maintenance of power over the American citizenry is their actual endgame, and not the betterment of said electorate, in regards to it.

But here’s where some unintentional humor does comes shining through, somewhat. It seems that despite his well-known reputation of being nothing more than a disingenuously conniving dimwit, the one thing that Trump hates most of all, is being regarded as a “loser”. In fact, it’s one of the mango-man-child’s favorite insults to cast against others, but when it’s applied to him?

Well, as it turns out, the Duke of Dipsh***ery doesn’t like that accurate assignation very much. Trump’s incessant requirement to feel that he alone, is the smartest, the most masculine, the most charming, and certifiably, the most important person in whatever room he finds himself in, has undoubtedly crippled him emotionally, if not politically, but as anyone who’s ever observed him for five minutes or less already knows, his Achilles heel has always been his personal hubris.

So, what in overall essence, has changed concerning this?

For the self-alleged man who once infamously said “I win, I win, I always win. In the end I always win”, as if repeating an obvious lie could actually make it come true, the pain that his ego his suffered since his 2020 election loss, must be akin to the numerous indignities that would be rightfully inflicted upon one of his supporters wearing full MAGA gear who had attended a BLM meeting by mistake.

And due in very large part to several embarrassing revelations he wanted kept hidden from the public, ranging from financial to intellectual failures, no matter what he says or does as of late, seems capable of stopping his increasingly disgruntled fan-base, his rapidly distancing themselves former political allies, and both sides of the Mainstream Media, from labeling him [somewhat incorrectly] as yesterday’s old news.

I say “somewhat”, because when you contemplate that Trump possesses a delusional confidence of self that biographer Tim O’Brien once clarified as “Richter scale narcissism”, the only way he’ll ever exit stage left is by force and in handcuffs. Which, if he keeps admitting to the committing of serious crimes via his media interviews and online posts, the reality of such an act occurring, seems more like a forgone conclusion, rather than an ethereal hope.

Time may not tell the story, but Trump seemingly can’t stop doing so, and if there truly is Justice to be meted out, his cup is most certainly, going to be runneth over.

However, let us not repeat the sins of our past, and discount the underlying fibers of fecality that are still intertwined within the fabric of current American politics. While Trump is a source for the majority of what is truly wrong with that institution as it now stands, he’s also a pustulant symptom of the festering rot (on both sides) that has poisoned it ever the last few decades, as well.

As easy as it would be to blame the infestations of fascist fan-girls and Brownshirt-boys on Trump alone, he is not the root cause of these issues entire. The fault as I just noted, is equally borne by both sides of the partisan principality, and while it is true that Conservatives have ratcheted their collective insanity into the metaphorical stratosphere, we on the Liberal side, must also accept that the ones who let them do it, as well as selling them the fuel necessary to do so, was us, and nobody else.

Yeah, I said it. And even more annoying, I actually mean it. Speaking as someone who has walked the path of the Left for quite some time now, I’m sort of done with the communal pearl-clutching and feigned offense at the mere thought that any action we may take collectively for the so-called Greater Good , might negatively impact a particular person, social group, or specialized populace.

NEWSFLASH: all decisions, good or bad, have a negative consequence for someone, and there’s no getting around that. EVER. We as Liberals, need to finally understand that as a rule, we are not dealing with opposition fluent in the language of Logic, Humanity, or Reality, any longer. If anything, our asinine adversaries have proudly revealed nothing but a virulent contempt for the same, and this, to a disturbing degree previously unforeseen within this country.

Strange as it may sound, whenever I run into one of these intellectually bereft boneheads, all I can think of is the “recruitment” speech given by Blazing Saddles villain, Hedley Lamarr:  “I want rustlers, cut throats, murderers, bounty hunters, desperados, mugs, pugs, thugs, nitwits, halfwits, dimwits, vipers, snipers, con men, Indian agents, Mexican bandits, muggers, buggerers, bushwhackers, hornswogglers, horse thieves, bull dykes, train robbers, bank robbers, ass-kickers, shit-kickers and Methodists.”

Minus the Mexican bandits, (for obvious reasons) this list of the socially deplorable not only reads as if it were taking attendance at a Trump rally, it also seems like it could represent a fairly accurate rendering of just whom the GQP is looking forward to backing in the upcoming 2024 elections, as well.  

Make no mistake- our foes, such as they are, have declared war on all that they despise, fear, or willingly fail to understand or are unable to control, and if the pathetically tragic events of J6 have taught us anything at all, it’s that the odious opposition we face is more than willing to go the extra mile regardless of personal consequence, to achieve their abominable agenda. And if you need proof of this, just check out these charmingly not-mentally-ill-at-all posts from Trump’s cadre of loyal MAGAts:

He seems really nice, doesn’t he? Man, if this is the best that the ghosts of our Founding Fathers can produce, I’m pretty sure we could win the allegorical battle just by asking them as a collective, to structure a paragraph correctly. As a rule, I, wouldn’t normally call myself a “Grammar NAZI”, due to the negative connotations attached to both that descriptive as well as my last name, but in reference to these clods, I’d be more than happy to go full literary Bradenburger on them as a group, if the need ever arose.

Speaking of which, this next member of Meal Team Six, has some definitive ideas about what he would do, if given the chance, and it’s a humdinger of a time, let me tell you:

I’m no legal scholar, but I particularly like the part where he defines the “Enemies of the Constitution”, right before he arrogantly declares that the “Geneva Rules” would be suspended, in order for his masturbatory militia fantasy to be be enacted against those that he alone, would deem as undesirable to his country:

Unfortunately for my honorary commander of the Gravy Seals here, he got the most important thing incorrect. First off, it’s not the “Geneva Rules”, that would find themselves deferred, but the “Geneva Conventions”, which requires humane treatment for all persons in enemy hands, without discrimination. It specifically prohibits murder, mutilation, torture, the taking of hostages, unfair trial, and cruel, humiliating and degrading treatment. It requires that the wounded, sick and shipwrecked be collected and cared for, as well.

And no Greg, you don’t get to choose any of how that works out, save for the times when you’re pleasuring yourself to the idea of it, as suspending such protections, is tantamount to committing a war crime. Not to mention, the correct word choice here Greg, should have been “met with a fury”, and not “meet’, you absolute f**king MAGAt moron.

Tell you what, my camo and ammo enthusiast, if you think your collection of piddling pop guns, field rations, and pristine collection of “I Bleed Red White and Blue” bumper stickers, can take on the full might of the applied armed forces of America, please feel free to f**k around and find out. I could use the free entertainment, and our collective gene pool would appreciate the upgrade gifted it, by your removal from it.

But not all of the seemingly mentally-ill that comprise the MAGA faithful such as the two above, are violence-projecting idiots, thank goodness. Some are just so far off the mark from established Reality, that your first instinct as an actually functioning human, is to give them a hug and a pat on the head, wrap them in a blanket, and make them a bowl oi tomato soup:

There used to be a rather famous dance called the “Lindy Hop”, with its heyday lasting from the 1930’s until its eventual peak in the early 1940s. It is characterized by fast rotations, swing outs, and high-energy footwork, and while I have no evidence that Lindy here has ever engaged in it, I would dare suggest that if she has, she’s landed on her head instead of her feet… a lot.

“Who is Donald J. Trump?”, her meme asks. Easy answer, Lindy.

He’s the trust fund mango-man-child who, through the provenance of lucky timing and a voting power-base of slavish morons, became the 45th President if the United States of America- a position that he abused beyond the pale to acquire fraudulent wealth and undeserved power, while simultaneously embarrassing himself, this country, and the office itself.

He’s the nepotist who selected his unqualified family to administrative positions, he’s the only President to be twice-impeached, he’s the White Supremacist fan-favorite, who called Neo-Nazi’s “very fine people”, he’s the bigot who executed a ‘Muslim travel ban, he’s the tax cheat who refused to release his tax returns, the first time in four decades that a President has declined to do so, and he’s the narcissist that lied about his inauguration and rally crowd sizes.

Continuing on, he’s the brute who suggested to police officers to maltreat suspects, and he’s the science-denying jackass who withdrew from the Paris Agreement on climate change, he’s also the shortsighted sh**head who cut a pandemic early warning program, just two months before the COVID-19 pandemic occurred, he’s the Islamophobe who retweeted anti-Islam videos from a racist organization based in England, and he’s the xenophobe who referred to Haiti and El Salvador as “sh**hole countries*.

On top of all that, he’s known as the spoiled brat who labeled Democrats as being guilty of “treason” for not applauding his 2018 State of the Union address, and he’s the tone-deaf twat who blamed the FBI for nit preventing the Parkland school shooter, citing their investigation of him as a major cause, as well as being the publicity-seeking coward who ordered the pepper-spraying if BLM activists, just so he could pose with a holy book he’s never read, in front of a religious institution that he never visits.

Not to mention, he is in addition, the vaccine conspiracy disseminator who tried to take credit for the vaccine, he’s the whiner who launched a ‘voter fraud hotline’ that had to be discontinued after pranksters swamped it with bogus reports, he’s the joke of a President, who walked out of a ceremony honoring Dan Gable, who was being awarded the Presidential Medal of Freedom without explanation, which might have been due to the revelation that he once publicly uttered, about wanting to give himself the same honor.

But lastly, and most importantly, he’s the traitorous slug who stole classified documents, and fomented an attempted insurrection after he lost his 2020 re-election bid, leaving his riotous followers to rot in prison, while he skipped away with their money in his pockets, and their love for him still puzzlingly intact.

That’s who he is, Lindy. Glad I could clarify that for you.

These slight never to be considered aggravations for his devotees aside, Lindy’s meme seems almost quaint in light of what her fellow idiots are posting these days. Some for instance, are just so goddamn stupid and delusional, that you can only wonder just how the people responsible fir their creation, have managed to make toast for all these years without fatally injuring themselves in the process of doing so.

If you’ve ever pondered just why Preparation H still needs usage instructions, here’s your answer:

When I was younger, it was rumored that there was a specifically naughty film wherein a woman who was also named Debbie, supposedly “did” Dallas, but I wasn’t aware that they had made a recent sequel where an entirely different Debbie, did “Dumb”. JFC, I’ve heard of the Blind leading the Blind, but I always assumed it was referring to Stevie Wonder hosting a charity sing-a-long, and not Helen Keller giving a guided tour through a Cambodian minefield.

I like how Debbie No-wits-ki here, accuses the “Dems and RINO’s” of violating the Constitution for daring to hold Trump accountable for his numerous acts of dereliction of duty, as well as alleged treason, while deliberately ignoring the same. Toss in her conveniently forgetting that just a short time ago, (and as I described earlier) it was Trump who openly called for the abolishment of the Constitution entire, and you can easily see why the interior spaces of Debbie’s house, purposely have no sharp corners.

Debbie has some other rather interesting takes on Trump’s “actual” situation , one of which I will be sharing later on, but as as you might have surmised by now, the lunacy of his most die-hard adherents, despite finding themselves somewhat diminished on the national stage these days, still clings to the bones of certain individuals, as it were the very marrow encased within them.

Such is the case with this sparking example of mental obesity, one James Oscar Holmes of Woodbridge, VA- seen here, working on his “Spock has Stage 4 Alzheimer’s” makeup for 2022’s Star Trek Las Vegas Convention:

So, how did this obvious eyebrow caterpillar aficionado of unique intellect, wind up on my ever so faithful radar? It’s simple, really. As it is with most of the alleged humans I so caustically chronicle, all he had to do, was post something mind-bogglingly stupid, and the Universe stepped in to guide my hand. You’d be amazed how often that happens, and yet… people are always genuinely surprised.

For the record, this is what initially got my attention, a brainless beauty that truly, has it all:

As an affirmed and happily open atheist, I find the concept of slavish worship to a supposed deity, other than that which should be naturally and willingly accorded to Milla Jovovich or Debbie harry, somewhat mystifying.in both its practice, if not the rationalizations given for doing so. But even from my logically sound perch as a non-believer, I know that this statement is all the shades of f**ked up.

If there are any fans of the Celestial among you out there reading this, let me assure you from the comfort of my ironic tower, that abandoning your magically-thinking-based faux faith centered around a virtuously pure divinity, is NOT “tantamount” [correct spelling] to cutting foundational ties with a lying, grafting, whore-mongering, conspiracy-theory promoting, treasonous demagogue, who’s not only a self-admitted rapist, but possibly harboring some pedophilic tendencies, as well.

Even if he and his cult of cucks do regard him as a Deity, which when given Trump’s sociopathic propensities, for delusionally undeserved self-aggrandizement, may be the only thing that he and the mythical “God”, have in common. But lest ye forget, my child of dubious faith, not supporting the walking affront to all that God commands, makes you the heathen here, not the man-pig who wallows in it, as if it were dime-store-bronzer that makes him appear as if he were a deep-fried bottle of Orange Crush.

As for the rest of Holmes’s bizarre word-association game wherein he equates sex changes with of all things, inflation- all I can offer in regards to that, is the wonderment if he’s been sadly confusing his necessary psychotropic meds for his eyebrow hair-dye, yet again. But to his credit, Holmes does know the top priority that all GQP politicians should ascribe to accomplish while in office, and as you’d suppose coming from this odious octogenarian, it’s as vilely insane as his take on religious faith is:

Ah yes, the “Anti-Americans”. The ancestral enemy of all Presidents who find themselves unreasonably held to account for an act of treason that’s barely worth mentioning, much less investigating, just because they attempted to overthrow established democracy via an insurrection based on debunked lies. And if there’s one thing that’s been proven to set these law-abiding interfering bastards straight, it’s additional threats to their safety, lives, and liberty.

I’m sure that’ll work like a charm

And as a logically-based aside James, if Trump hasn’t, or hadn’t done anything wrong, then “They” wouldn’t be able to cause him any actual trouble whatsoever. In fact, by attempting to do so, they’d only wind up increasing his political capital, rather than diminishing it. Seems to me, the only people who are “SCARED” outside of the mango-man-child himself, are his asinine adherents such as yourself, and whomever has to eventually represent him in court.

But Holmes, like most rabid dogs with a desiccated bone, just can’t let “it” go:

Statements like this, where Cult 45 members prophesize that “justice” will be harshly meted out to all who dared oppose the whims of their Tangerine-Tinted Gilded Calf, are both unilaterally hilarious and unsettling, across the board. Hilarious, because the persons moist responsible for espousing it, are either so old that they belch dust, or so morbidly obese, that the only way they could ever the room of retribution, is if they greased up the sides of the doorframe first. 

And unsettling, because they’re not the only ones spearheading this maniacal frame of mind, as clearly evidenced by the events of J6. If we’re going to “ruminate” on anything, the farcical idea that a group of faux patriots lining us up against the wall dispensing vigilante justice, isn’t what we should be worrying about- the fact that they think that they’ll be able to do so with impunity, is.

Let’s call it as it is- anyone who equates a political party being ruled by the mythical forces of the darkly demonic, isn’t expressing a difference of opinion, they’re articulating a festering bouillabaisse of a possible mental illness, if not a psychotic break from established reality.

However, the truly terrifying part of it all, is not just that they believe their own delusions, but that they’re seemingly recruiting to fatten up their ranks by offering their fellow mentally deficient brethren, the validity they seek for the imagined transgressions that they feel they’ve been unjustly subjected to:

As you may have observed, the ignorant refrain that Trump has been unreasonably accused by a cabal of cravenly conspirators, is key to the virulent hatred that’s ever so necessary to fueling the MAGA community’s sense of desired and highly-placed relevance within a society that without their unhinged screeching and numerous acts of inane idol-worship, wouldn’t pay them any mind at all.

What I do find odd though about Holmes unhinged utterances, outside of his bizarre capitalizing of words that don’t require it, even as a literary “punch” point, is the incessant reiteration that Trump’s primary purpose as president, is to serve as an instrument of Alt-Wrong retribution, and nothing else. That’s not a President intent on carrying out the collective Will of the People, boys and girls, that’s a fascist, intent on insulating himself from both societal reproach and legal consequence.

Rest assured that Holmes, as well as the others of odious distinction residing within his fanatical fraternity, are well aware of that. He, as well as they, have just erroneously chosen to place faith in the naive construct that slavish loyalty breeds unconditional protection, despite the fact that the entire known range of History itself, easily proves otherwise.

Stalin had purges, Hitler had the Night of the Long Knives, Mao had the Cultural Revolution, Saddam Hussein, the Comrades Massacre, but Trump? He’s actually done one better than all of those wannabes, for he’s managed to weaponize his cadre of MAGAts into a denomination of disciples who, even after he openly abandoned them on J6 to the American judicial system, still maintain that he’s looking out for them to this very day, despite all blatantly obvious evidence to the contrary.

And for all their talk about “Making America Great Again”, let’s see how they really feel about America: itself:I could quite easily point out that these faux patriots long for an America that’s never existed outside of a Norman Rockwell calendar or a TBN movie, but I’d also have to acknowledge that St. John here, might actually be on to something, albeit from a different direction.

Considering that America is now a widely diverse country with women and the descendants of slaves in a varying range of authoritative roles, and that land ownership is no longer a requirement (or a barrier) to power acquisition, they’d probably not be fans of it, overall.

There would be exceptions of course, as a few of the FF would be totally onboard with some of the commonalities of today, but when you take into account the collective experience of the time frame, they existed in being applied to the standards of today, the majority of them would still find themselves either terribly confused, or possibly even downright terrified.

The contextual underlayment of this meme, as it is with the wider range of Conservative “arguments”, is a false analogy at its best, and it simply doesn’t wash out in the end. I’m fairly confident that if the FF had the ability to time-travel, they’d be mutually horrified at the issues of veteran and elderly neglect, the abominable failure to eradicate childhood poverty and adequately fund access to public education, as well as the clearly defined elitism that has yet to be nullified, in regards to our current justice system.

And I can assure you that as the very archetype of American Patriotism, they’d be repulsed by not only the modern-day GQP for ignoring and worsening these domestic matters so proudly, but by their willing adherence to obey and slavishly promote, the whims of what has turned out to be, the closest analogy to that of a truly mad king that this Republic has ever been witness to, since its founding.

Noble, these cravenly cultists are not, but as they see it, they are nothing less than Warriors of Virtue:

“ULTRA MAGA”: when you need to advertise that your family tree resembles a replacement lead for a mechanical pencil, but don’t know how to do so with the effectiveness required.

I get the communism reference, as the modern-day GQP still believes that word carries some weight, in 2023, but the addition of “Satan” as a credible foe, reveals just how far down the rabbit-hole that they’ve willingly gone. Can you just imagine if Ronald Reagan, Bush Sr., or even the dumbf**k that is Bush Jr. ,had started off expounding on the evils of communism, and then ended on Satan as a wrap-up??

Both sides of the political partisan fence would have lost their goddamn minds, and said leader who uttered such insanity, would have lost not only their previously settled reputation, but their grasp on political power as well. I’ve said it before, and I’m sure I’ll have to say lt again: MAGA IS A CULT, AND NOT A TRUE POLITICAL MOVEMENT.

The differences being, that political movements evolve (or devolve) over time, their leaders as well as their original base of supporters, come and go, and eventually if all goes to plan, they find themselves normalized into whatever is considered to be the “mainstream” at that particular time. MAGA is so not that, as all of it’s energy goes into feeding (and protecting) the voracious ego of a narcissistic human airhorn, and that’s it.

MAGA has no theoretical policies to help the average American, save for trying to convince them that Billionaires are the real victims of the US Tax Code, and need even far more financial absolution. No self-reflecting insights regarding the true reason why an allegiance to Religion is on the decline in America, save for demonizing the LGBTQ Community as being the root cause for it all.

No solution to cease the ongoing pandemic of mass shootings in this country’s schools and public spaces either, except to suggest that they need to be fortified as if Thanos himself, was set to attack them.

No proposals concerning childhood poverty, affordable healthcare, the funding of public education or other such crucial societal infrastructure, and let’s not forget, their willing indifference in regards to certifying the allegorical safety nets provided by federal aid programs for both our deserving veterans ,and the sadly disadvantaged among us. However, don’t you fret, my Children of the Scorned, because these insurrection and treason embracing cultists, have got buckets of “REVENGE” just waiting in store for their “enemies”, be they real or imagined.

Nevertheless, while this may not solidify anything of note, save for their “I’m a Militia” fever-dreams, it will undoubtedly help boost the sales of guns, MAGA-themed birthday cakes,(with white frosting, of course) Chick-fil-A curly fries, Kid Rock and Ted Nugent Cd’s, and most certainly, the bottom line of whomever it is that makes those white robes with the complimentary 3 AM front-lawn BBQ starter set, for the KKK.

See? I can, every now and then, highlight the positive, even if it’s intrinsically linked with that which is negative. And surprisingly, albeit to a limited degree, so can our anti-American MAGA adversaries, as this post attests:

Now, on the surface, this morass of mentally stunted gobbledygook may appear insane, and it most certainly is, but there’s also a great deal of common ground to be found here as well, if only we look at it this way: all of these conspiracy theories displayed within this mess of a meme, are also the things that we find maddening as well, but in reverse stead.

After all, this listing of conspiracies that these MAGAts perceive as the “truth”, are the truths that we know to be conspiracies. If my inherent sense of optimum was cynicism free, I’d say that we were halfway to possibly reaching an understanding, if only from a certain point of view.

The truly ironic thing about this meme however, is that depending on your political leanings, is the quirk that its message could literally work for either side, despite its originator being a staunch conservative who allegedly, views Trumpism as nothing less than the Second Coming.

As I said, common ground. Perhaps.

The problem nevertheless, is the reality that for the last twenty years these simpletons have ingested a diet of puerile propaganda that over time, has slowly altered their brains to the point that while they still have the ability to absorb knowledge, they lack the capacity to retain any of it that directly challenges their unsupported misbeliefs, or to be franker, their unhinged delusions.

So how can we as a nation overcome this ideological divide, and find ourselves reintegrate with each other once again? In the simplest abstract, we just can’t. Too much allegorical water has gone under the bridge where these treasonous trolls live, and to be fair, some of them have forgone the right to be allowed to walk among us as freely as they once did.

I say this, because my logic regarding such, is sound. If someone had spent close to six years chasing you around your house, trying to bash your head in with your very own fire extinguisher, how willing would you be to let bygones be bygones?  Especially if their only excuse, was that they had been fed blatantly obvious lies that a four-year-old could have sussed out as being pure bulls**t?

Yeah… me neither

Make no mistake; it took us decades to find ourselves here, but it will take us far longer to get out from under the weighty stench of it all. The damage willingly allowed by both political parties, albeit with some marginal resistance within their ranks, is a real-life episode of an American Horror Story that will be dissected with derisive disbelief for a far longer time then the deprogramming it will take to leach its insidious influence from those most affected by it, and those various others that they’ve inflicted it upon.

The ideological adherence to the false belief that they’re being subjected to unwarranted victimization, is nothing new whereas the modern-day Conservative movement is concerned, but it’s gone from being a cravenly gambit occasionally played, but now, serves as the Alt-Wrong’s paranoid war cry for not only the highly susceptible and ill-informed among their inane ilk,, but their de facto leader as well:

This narcissiically characteristic claim to being the protector of all under his gaze, despite his penchant for throwing people under the bus as soon as they prove useless to him, came mere hours after Trump found himself impeached for abuse of power, just before he found himself additionally saddled with a second article of impeachment, charging him with obstruction of Congress.

Ironically, Twitter wound up taking down the image, after receiving a copyright complaint from the New York Times, who as it stands, retains the rights to said photo. In a way, this is par for the course for America’s tangerine-tinted-taint: claim the superiority of your position, and then immediately undermine your falsely believed validity, by doing something that proves you’re dumber than drunken sand.

For the record, if not the sake of posterity, Trump is not “in the way” of anything, except perhaps, the restoring of this country’s soul, which he gleefully ripped asunder to serve his own egocentrically licentious self-interest.

And as for his claim that “they’re after you”” No, “they” are not. In fact, they could care less about you, save for when you’re at6tempting to overthrow democracy at the behest of an asinine apostate, who, as he’s shown time and time again, wouldn’t condescend to piss on you, if you were to be set aflame in his presence.

Not only does he want to watch the world burn, he’s more than happy to use you as the kindling to do it.

So, here are your choices, MAGAts- you can either hop back on board the reality bus, earnestly atone for the numerous and odious transgressions inflicted upon this county, your neighbors, your family, your friends, and most importantly: yourself.

And only then, can you endeavor to rid your psyche of the parasitic conspiracy theories, racism, misogyny, xenophobia, anti-LBGTQ hysteria, which you’ve been ever so eager to propagate as if it were oasis’s in the desert. Or you can remain as you are: paranoid, oblivious, cravenly, hateful, and in the end, the cluelessly inadvertent villain of your own story.

A fate, which if you’ve ever read a fairy-tale book all the way through, rarely works out well in the end.


“My optimism wears heavy boots, and is loud.” – Henry Rollins

Dope Springs Infernal Pt.3 (A Hate Worse Than Debt.)

“Hateful to me as the gates of Hades is that man who hides one thing in his heart and speaks another” 
– Homer

Greetings, Bitchiteers!

How do we find ourselves today? I for one, find myself patently waiting on a truckload of data relating to a relatively recent chemical spill out here on the outskirts of my bucolic burg so that I can write about it, and until it arrives, the best I can do, is twiddle my thumbs as I stare deeply into the void of eternal human suffering, as we all tend to do from time to time.

Seriously HULU… get your shit together, put it in your shit backpack, and start airing the new season of “Rick and Morty” already. I’m literally losing my mind over here, and I’m a hair’s breadth away from starting to pick up yet another pointless self-involved hobby, which mythical Lord knows, I really shouldn’t do:

So, what pray tell, is a truly bored Artbitch to do?

Sure, I could use this down time to learn a new skill, work on my forever-coming-along book project, or perhaps even perfect my classic Ding Dongs and frozen anchovy pizza salad recipe, but why do all that, when I can just as easily, reach deep into my allegorical storage closet of human scratching posts to amuse myself before the world of community-based environmentalism demands my full attention?

Now, if I were truly lazy, I could craft a half-hearted kind of snarky pastiche, or perhaps even a “Where Are They Now? “ sort of homage, but here at the ol’ Lair of Snarkitude, we’re innovators, not imitators, and we take pride in bringing the new, the interesting, and most definitively, the ignorant, to the readers that I so appreciate.

In the past, I’ve introduced you all to a wide array of bigots, false Christians, conspiracy-theory adherents, treason-supporting Trumpists, homophobic haranguers, and cravenly dullards, whom could be best charitably described as being “short-bus special”, but as a rule, these abominable flaws of character were distributed evenly across the spectrum of the personalities I’ve familiarized for you, and never singularly amalgamated in to the walking urinal cake of a demagogue, that today’s screed subject so proudly presents themselves to be.

To be fair though, it would be akin to my spitting in the face of the Writing Gods, if I were to ever dissuade myself from utilizing the never-ending resource that is the intellectual density of one James Ray Spring of Oklahoma City< Oklahoma, and as someone who appreciates both an easy journey, if not a free meal at the end of it, I would never do that, even on the worst of my days.

I may not be Kurt Vonnegut, but I’m also quite certainly, not the epitome of *Kilgore Trout, either.
*[Kilgore Trout is a fictional character created by author Kurt Vonnegut. In Vonnegut’s work, Trout is a notably unsuccessful author of paperback science fiction novels.]

I’ve been running you through the truly warped world-view of Spring’s densely dystopian mind-set over the course of my last two screeds, and while I was (weirdly) looking forward to turning my back on his mentally toxic sludge to write about the physicality of actual toxic sludge, I find myself on his doorstep yet again, due to the ironic lack of data for one tale, and the overabundance of it, for another.   

To put it in a way that’s easy to understand, here’s the current stats on my personal research file comprised solely of Spring’s racist, homophobic, misogynistic, transphobic, conspiracy and hate-laden, willingly uninformed, social media postings:

Keep in mind, that the next best contender that I have on my list of Conservative inanity, has a personal best of 175 images in total, which hardly qualifies as a pittance where Spring’s puerile productivity is concerned. And I might add, that’s a compilation that was accrued over the course of close to three years, whereas Spring’s, was acquired in less than four months.

And doing so, using a culling process that took less time to achieve than the stint I’d normally spend on making toast. I say “took” because as of this moment, Spring, ever the technological wizard, ultimately figured out that there was a “blocking” feature on Facebook, and he finally used it… close to three weeks after he was informed of its existence… by ME:

Granted, while I don’t fathom the comparison to a mentally-ill gay transvestite, as it’s based on Spring and his hetero boyfriends misunderstanding of the corresponding sub-cultures, I do love just how equally causeless his BFF is about how social media and their respective platforms work, as well.

Along those lines, I just had to include this ironic self-own that Spring once posted regarding what he perceives as an intellectual win, but I’m sure that since he blocked me, versus the other way around, there’s no way this distinction could ever be applied in reverse, I’m sure:

And I’m not gonna lie here, the honor of being labeled as an entity who is nothing less than “Satanic” is always an ego boost as well, because as someone who always tries to bring his best work to the allegorical table when he’s utilizing the machinations of purest evil for the Greater Good, honest compliments are always truly appreciated, if not ultimately expected.

There’s an old saying that a person is the one true “gift that keeps on giving”, and to a limited extent, this assertion is somewhat accurate, but in regards to Spring’s voluminous output of sheer inanity, ideological vileness, and willingly ignorant paranoia, I’d opine that he’s the closest thing that I’ve ever seen to a human representation of the Giving Tree, if such had been scripted by the poet emeritus of Stormfront.

I’m kidding of course, about the Stormfront reference, as I’m sure Spring’s Native American heritage would make him ineligible for full membership, but I’d equally suspect that they’d also be quite appreciative of the work he’s been inadvertently doing oh their cause’s behalf, nevertheless.

This is not to say, or even subtly suggest, that Spring harbors any deep-rooted White supremacist views, but given his past revelations of self as evidenced by his online postings, he is without a doubt, sharing some communal space on their observational sun-deck:To note, my Moron of Militia-ocrity, the reason why it’s NOT classified as an “invasion”, is based on several validated differences twixt these two disparate analogies, some of which are obvious, and others that given the leeway of both time and experience, will most certainly reveal themselves, later on down the allegorical road, as it were.

Starting off, the migrants coming to this country seeking asylum and the promise of a far better life, unlike the Russians attempting to seize Ukraine, aren’t arriving in armored divisions equipped to the eyeballs with military-grade weaponry slaughtering the resistant citizenry, and as an added bonus, generally aren’t blowing up schools, churches, and hospitals, to boot.

But as that’s just off the top of my head, I’m fairly confident that my listing defining their respective variances, may be somewhat incomplete. However, like most jingoistic jackals, Spring isn’t going to let a sacrificial lamb wriggle out of his slime-dripping maw, due to the inconvenience of established reality- no siree, Bob. If anything, he’s just going to double down, and engage in what Neocons do better than anybody else; blaming the downtrodden for wanting to be free of their burdens:

Is it just me, or has anybody else noticed that Jimmy’s cultural references are as outdated as his repulsive assertions? Granted, I wouldn’t use the modern-day take on the Riddler, as inexcusably played by Jim Carrey to modernize this meme, but I’d also point out that even Frank Gorshin’s take on the character from the 60’s Batman TV show, would never say anything so abominably bigoted to begin with.

I get it Jimmy- due to your paranoid idiocy, you feel a compulsion to deliberately mar every interaction you have with your fellow human beings, but do you have to f**k up the timeless joy associated with POP culture too?

My guess would be “yes”.

Nevertheless, our bigot of the hour did raise a question, asinine and hateful as it is, and because I believe in tacking the issue of racism and its flag-bearers head on, I’ll be more than happy to answer it in a way that Spring can hopefully understand, and if such a thing is still possible- learn a lesson from.

Normally, when dealing with someone of Spring’s limited intellect and emotional maturity, this would be the part where I break out the hand-puppets and/or the flash-cards, but as this screed is of a far more literary construction, rather than the one grounding live theatre, I’ll muddle through as best I can.

Well, the answer is simple, if not somewhat and culturally complicated, all at once. As Spring is of Native American descent, his inherent distrust of immigrants does make sense in the grand abstract, and I will give him that, albeit to a rational point.

As a person of German ancestry, I very rarely drop my last name inside the confines of an orthodox Jewish deli, if you know what I mean, and given just how much I appreciate the joy of a good Reuben, I’m sure you can understand why I don’t.

But as I noted in my last screed, Spring’s immigrant-based-bigotry isn’t universally spread across the rainbow of what he might perceive as cultural interlopers, as you might expect from a native son of the Earth- it’s focused solely on the chromatic pond that he himself stems from: that of the obviously non-Caucasian.

As I’ve catalogued previously, if Spring had any form of grave issue with the Aryan side of things, I’d totally get it 100%. But his (somewhat) fellow indigenous persons? Seriously, Dude… what in the hell is that about? And then, you dare question their “contribution” to what you wrongly and ever so arrogantly, imply is “your” country alone?

America was founded on immigration, you dickish dolt, and it achieved its greatness through the strength of its diversity, and due to such humble beginnings, remains the beacon to countries worldwide as a place where any man (or woman) can become more than they originally were- quite literally, “The American Dream”, and you think that the responsibility of its dissemination, should be placed solely within the hateful hands of bigots like yourself?

Thank mythical God that it’s not, and hopefully, never will be. But the question of; “How do Immigrants strengthen our country, but not their own?” still remains unanswered, so here’s my take, such as it is.

Starting us off, we have the immeasurable labor resource pool that keeps the American agriculture, resort/hotel, and restaurant industries humming along, along with the edifying contributions to our food culture, as well. I won’t speak for you of course, but personally, I’m totally fine with a food truck on every corner in this country, especially if they’re competing against one another

It was once said that; “Nothing brings out the best in a person, quite like a singular challenge”, and the day somebody comes along and invents fusion Greek-Indian-Mexican cuisine that can be deep-fired and served inside a pita, that will be the day this country finally achieves its true potential for awesomeness.

Not to mention, immigrants are also the number one developers of small businesses in this country as a rule, so feel free to take your demonization of such industrious persons Jimmy, and shove it where you once buried your humanity. I could also point out to my wannabe White warrior here, that most people who helped build the foundations of this country were “illegal” as well, (more so at one point) but why do that, as Spring would only find a way, as he always does, to ignore it?

Food and entrepreneurship aside, the benefaction to our country’s artistic, literary, and cinematic communities can also not be overlooked, and I have to wonder just how many of these in-tandem activities Spring happily partakes of, as he obliviously spews his revoltingly ignorant xenophobia to the world entire. As for Spring’s racist jibe querying as to why “they” can help us out, but not their own, the answer to that, is also quite simple- the distribution and application of accrued power.

Whether the disadvantage being faced is financial, political, terroristic, or educational, the majority of refugees who come here aren’t fleeing their homelands seeking the “Free”, as Spring and his conservative ilk would have us believe, but are instead, questing search for the Freedom of a possible future seemingly unachievable within the places of their birth, due to the insurmountable challenges involved.

Unsurprisingly, Spring deliberately overlooks these contributing factors to the plight of migrants, not because he doesn’t perceive them as true, but because they obviously get in the way of his oft-cited false narratives that he so blatantly and specifically pimps:

I hate to burst your dope bubble, Jimmy Ray, but Terrorists LOVE Trump. They in fact adore him, and quite deeply, it seems. Take for instance, the Supreme Leader of North Korea, Kim Jong-un, with whom Trump once claimed to have “fallen in love with”, after the duo exchanged personal correspondence, disturbingly described by those in knowledge of their contents as, and I quote; “love letters”.

Urk, I say. URK.

And who among us, can forget the appreciation shown by US frenemy Saudi Arabia, the alleged financiers of 9-11, after Trump not only unconscionably overlooked the revelation that they had brutally murdered a dissident journalist residing in America, and then just as coldly dismembered his corpse, he did so, that he could then facilitate a deal wherein he sold them weapons?

Then there’s also the 2017 state visit from Turkey’s president [dictator] Recep Tayyip Erdoğan, in which Erdoğan’s personal security detail attacked a group of American protesters, sending nine people to local DC hospitals with injuries ranging from concussions to lacerations, an act of aggression to which Trump reacted with nothing but silence.

That may be due to the fact that in a 2015 radio interview broadcast on Breitbart News, then-host, and now convicted criminal Steve Bannon, asked Trump if Turkey was a “reliable partner”, to which Trump bragged; “I have a little conflict of interest ’cause I have a major, major building in Istanbul. It’s a tremendously successful job. It’s called Trump Towers — two towers, instead of one, not the usual one, it’s two.”

Apparently, he needed to clarify that it was two towers, because I guess he assumed (correctly) that moist of his support base doesn’t understand just how the concept of plurality works.

Not to mention, Trump, as he has reputedly done with most of the sociopathic strongmen he’s ever met, has expressed open admiration for the way Erdoğan runs his country, going so far as to say that Erdoğan was, and I quote; “doing a fantastic job for the people of Turkey,” obliviously adding in sometime later, that Erdoğan also had a; “great relationship with the Kurds”, despite the fact that Turkey has publicly deemed the ethnic group as established terrorists.

And whatever you do, don’t even get me started on Trump’s man-crush on Vladimir Vladimirovich Putin, the journalist-murdering dictator of Russia, whom Trump obviously tries (and thankfully fails) to emulate, because we will seriously be here all day.

I will say however, that if you’re currently in the market seeking a life-partner, find yourself one that looks at you the way that Vlad Tepid here, is looking at our resident Count of Mostly Crisco:

I don’t care what anyone says- these two were made for each other, and that’s just beautiful.

Irrespectively though, U.S. representative lhan Abdullahi Omar being a woman of devout Muslim faith doesn’t automatically make her a “terrorist” as Spring’s abhorrent meme implies, but it does add to my theorem that at best, he’s nothing more than a misogynistic racist, and a total f**king idiot, at worst.

Proof of this concept, can be found by observing his pattern of repeated attacks centered upon twice-elected US Representative Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez, who, along with other women in positions of political power, Spring erroneously derides as being less than intelligent, due to nothing more than the fact that they possess vaginas he can’t access, and present contradictory opinions that he cannot control.

Imagine that… a Trump supporter, disparaging someone else’s intellectual capability.

The irony. It simply burns, does it not?

But as with all things James Ray Spring, the proof is in the puerile pudding, and if Spring is known for anything, it’s his mythical God-given ability to take what most sane persons would regard as abominable character flaws, and elevate them to a new plateau where his racism, misogyny, and incel-level fear of strong women, comes out to display who he truly is when others aren’t paying attention.  

Has anyone else ever noticed, that when Alt-Wrong Neandertals such as Spring, lunch attacks on female politicians, they never go after their policies and aspects of known character, as a normal person would, but choose instead, to issue pathetically sexist slurs that cannot be supported by verifiable facts?

 I’m sure there’s a good reason for that, and I’m most certain it has nothing to do with the reality that the kind of man who utters such slander, are the same ones who optimistically buy condoms on their way to a family reunion. And even better, is the particular type of man who thinks that it’s still socially acceptable for him to do so, despite all evidence to the contrary:

Dear mythical God, thank you for the bounty of the gift you just bestowed upon me, and to a lesser degree, my readership base. So, Adam Carolla, thinks that AOC “sounds like an idiot”? Well, that’s a damming assertion coming from a community college dropout, who once co-helmed “The Man Show”, a sexist piece of television tripe where women jumping on trampolines, was the main draw of said program.

Carolla’s past employment includes stints as a carpet cleaner, a boxing coach, and a traffic-school instructor, so obviously with such laudable personal achievements under his belt, he’s more than qualified to pass judgment upon a sitting US Representative, who unlike he, actually graduated cum laude from Boston University with a double major in business and economics, and as previously noted, has been duly elected twice to the office she now holds.

 But Carolla does host a podcast where he does his best impression of an untainted Howard Stern, to the amusement of fellow man-tards steeped in AXE body-spray, so that’s almost as impressive, right?

To be fair, the Guiness Book of World Records did certify that his podcast was the most downloaded podcast after receiving 59,574,843 unique downloads from March 2009 to March 16, 2011, breaking the previous record set by The Ricky Gervais Show, but, as most record claimants must pay to have their records recognized, the fact that Gervais’s show, had 5 times more downloads (300M) than Corolla’s claimed record, makes Corolla’s cultural bragging rights somewhat self-servingly disingenuous.

Regardless, the attacks from the Alt-Wrong continue, and one of the more favored false narratives favorited by these inane incels regarding AOC’s intellect, is based off a comment she made during an interview with the news program, 60 Minutes. A comment that was referred to in the second meme posted by Spring, contained within the AOC collage above.

In Spring’s version, AOC is outed as saying that; “It’s more important to be morally right, than factually correct”, with an immediate response by well-known GQP token and hypocrite Thomas Sowell below it, issuing a harsh rebuke, but as is usual with the majority of Spring’s commentary, it’s not entirely accurate:

Now, while the wording of her annotation is similar, its context is noticeably different, when one goes to the original source of it. Only a false Christian Neocon like Spring, would find or take offense at the common logic suggestion that one should always be concerned about the morality of a choice, rather than the phrasing attached to it.

he crazy one here, but aren’t the GQP the self-declared party of “values”, despite the duality of their having seemingly none to offer, while becoming obviously incensed at the mere suggestion of actual ones being possibly introduced? Seriously guys- pick an opinion, and f**king land on it, already.

I’d also like to call attention if I may, to the fact that the very same people labeling AOC as an unintelligent woman, are also the same ones that ostensibly, have zero issue with Marjorie Taylor Greene ranting about “Jewish Space Lasers”, or when Lauren Boebert openly espouses the madness of replacement theory, which falsely claims that powerful “elites” are replacing white people with people of color from other countries.

Nevertheless, it cannot be said that the GQP is incapable of having a Plan “B” when their asinine attacks fail to leave a mark, and in the case of the strong intelligent women that they despise, if they can’t push the outdated sexist trope that the fairer sex is intellectually weaker, they’ll rely on their other favorite proverbial low-hanging fruit, that being the condemnation or mockery of their physical appearance:

To refresh your memory, may I point out that the mango-tinted-man-child-worshipping-man-tard that posted these cravenly sexist absurdities concerning women far smarter, if not far more accomplished than he will ever be, looks like this:

Back the hell off ladies, for this sex-god, resembling the type of guy you’d see lurking around the darkened corners of a woman’s dressing room, is happily taken, and no longer a free agent. I once heard it said that all women in the end, eventually “settles”, but JFC, how far down into the bedrock did Jimmy’s wife have to drill to find this misogynistic dinosaur?

I’ve oft said it before that no person is truly a walking cartoon or an intractable stereotype, but if I were tasked to find the best representation of bumper sticker ideology made flesh traversing this giant ball of granite and space-dust, Spring here, would most certainly be my go-to guy for the achieving of such.

And while his previously revealed flaws of charter are annoying enough, it’s Spring’s contradictory assertions and dictations of proper social etiquette, that I really enjoy:

So, to recap for all you ladies out there, just remember that looks aren’t important, unless of course, you dare to accessorize yourself with accoutrements that buck conventional societal mores. Because as we all know, there’s no advice that women appreciate more than the kind offered up by a septuagenarian misogynist, who is unknown to them.

And as an aside, the inadvertent irony of Spring, whom has quite the history of making bigoted, racist, and sexist remarks concerning persons he does not, or cares not, to know, publicly submitting his … let’s just call it “wisdom” for dissemination, is nothing less than a prime example of misfired arrogant hilarity.

And as an aside, the inadvertent irony of Spring, whom has quite the history of making bigoted, racist, and sexist remarks concerning persons he does not, or cares not, to know, publicly submitting his … let’s just call it “wisdom” for dissemination, is nothing less than a prime example of misfired arrogant hilarity. But as it is to be expected, and despite its inanity, Spring just keeps pushing his inconsistent tripe, nevertheless:

Well, this is a range of emotional opinions, is it not? We go from a solid protocol of respecting women for who they are, to implying that men are failing in their need to be “masculine”, to suggesting that its perfectly acceptable to harm a woman for daring to disagree with you. Yup. What a perfectly rational thought process, given these modern times.

I do wonder however, that when Spring goes out and harvests these moronic memes as a monument to his misogynistic mental mediocrity, does he ever catch the small details within them, like I tend to do? I hate to nitpick, but if I were ever to post a meme regarding to American capitalism that takes place inside a car, I’d endeavor to make sure the car that was depicted, had the steering wheel configuration on the correct side of said car, at least.

And while I do know that Spring’s last meme is intended to be a joke, it’s far more apparent that it’s a subtle confession to confirming his fear of independent women in general, For the record such as it is, I don’t find it funny in the slightest. Violence against women, whether implied or virtual, is not a laughing matter, and the fact that Spring so casually presents it as a punchline, just gives to show that his platitudes advocating for the respect of women, are as morally thin as his intellect.

Seriously Jimmy, that’s just lazy as f**k hate you’re spreading here- bring your “A” game next time. I do find it interesting though in relation to the “masculine” meme, how often Spring, the alleged “straight Christian” circles back around to “men being men”, whatever the hell that means in an age where gender representation is a far more fluid construct than at any other point in our country’s history.

But Spring knows who the real enemy of masculinity and femininity is, and he’s not afraid to announce it to the world entire, along with also proving yet again, exactly just how hatefully ignorant he is:

For the record such as it is, representing oneself as Trans is NOT a mental illness, nor is it anybody else’s business how somebody chooses to present themselves to the public, or what they prefer to be called in regards to the same.

Speaking only for myself, I will say that I have no problem whatsoever using the nomenclature that a person asks for, nor do I carry any modicum of hostile disparagement in concern to their chosen lifestyle, as well. Your life is your life, and my life is my life. Just wash your hands, tip your server, and whatever you do, please don’t take the handicapped parking space if you don’t need it, as I walk with a cane- that’s all that I ask,

Nevertheless, as an aside, I’d also point out that the definition of a mental illness is as such: “Any of a broad range of medical conditions (such as major depression, schizophrenia, obsessive compulsive disorder, or panic disorder) that are marked primarily by sufficient disorganization of personality, mind, or emotions to impair normal psychological functioning and cause marked distress or disability and that are typically associated with a disruption in normal thinking, feeling, mood, behavior, interpersonal interactions, or daily functioning.

Now, I’m not entirely sure how a psychiatrist would characterize Spring’s consistent talking to a mythical “God”, his unwarrantedly paranoid fear of the LGBTQ Community, his inherent racism and rampant misogyny, and his publicly presenting unquestionable delusions based on conspiracy theories so insane, that even L. Ron Hubbard would give them the cold shoulder, and he’s the loon behind the “church” of Scientology.

With all that empirical data in mind, I would be truly supposed if any head-shrinker worth their salt, would dare suggest anything other than the fact that if there were ever an unwilling but fully deserving tenant who needed to occupy a secured room wallpapered in bubble-wrap for an extended siesta of sorts, Spring would most definitely fit that bill nicely.

Whereas Spring is seemingly concerned however, the merest granting of human dignity to a Transperson is akin to not only giving Satan himself a free reach-around, but topping it off with an act of brain-salad surgery as well.  If you don’t understand my reference, just ask any true Emerson Lake & Palmer fan, for they’ll happily tell you as well. And if you can’t find one of those, you can always ask your mom.

Although, if she does tell you, it will probably be presented wrapped in deeply begrudging regret.

I delved into Spring’s openly willful dislike/distrust/degradation of the LGBTQ community over the course of the last screed in which he was featured, but to be quite honest, I feel like I barely scratched the surface of his homophobia when I did so, for Spring’s near-obsessive fascination with alternative lifestyles, is right up there with my wish to trap George Lucas in an elevator for 30 minutes, so I can yell at him for ruining “Return of the Jedi’ by adding in those damn annoying Ewoks.

What can I say? We all have some strange life goals we’d like to achieve, and there’s no goddamn way in Hell that I will believe that a bunch of waddling dead-eyed, creepy AF, teddy bears armed with only stone-age technology defeated a cadre of Stormtroopers equipped with E-11 Blaster Rifles.

And yes… I WILL fight you on this. Hard.

But just like the unfortunately obsessed Austrian art professor turned NAZI agent Elsa Schneider, in “Indiana Jones and The Last Crusade”, Spring can’t leave his Holy Grail of Hatred well enough alone, and he most certainly can’t accept the fact that gender assignation is no longer a construct of an abstract theorem, but a verified aspect of today’s societal certainty.

Nonetheless, Spring, who takes his scientific, societal, and interpersonal cues from a book of Bronze-Age fairy-tales, is steadfast in his determination to showcase the lack of branches on his family tree, and he does so, by openly displaying his ability to miss the obvious point, by misdirecting the conversation to avoid discussing that which is most relevant to gender identity, the mental acceptance of who one truly is, rather than the physical shell which may say otherwise:

Good point, Jimmy! Now if you could, please tell me which of those skeletons was also Gay, Trans, Conservative, Liberal, of a hateful false Christian hypocrite like yourself. And when you’re done establishing that, kindly inform me as to who the Nickelback fans among them were, so that we can call in a young priest and an old driest, to exorcise the demons that they may still carry.

Speaking of carrying abominable things, Spring’s ever-increasing paranoid ignorance as to who Transpeople are and what they truly represent, is only matched by his social illiteracy in being unable to differentiate between the numerous subdivisions that exist in tandem alongside said Trans-culture, as evidenced by this asinine posting, wherein he displays once again, both his intellectual immaturity, if not his single-digit IQ:

First off, I’d like to point out to those who like Spring, cannot discern between paranoiac fantasy and verified reality, that this is not an accurate depiction of persons who are Transgender, but of the uniquely interesting subculture known as “Furries”, instead.

To note; the definition of a Transperson is accepted as thus: “A Transgender person is someone who experiences Gender Dysphoria, a feeling in which their gender identity or expression of such, does not correspond with their biological sex.

This often leads Transgenders to assuage their societal and mental discomfort, by undertaking an allegorical and sometimes literal, physical transitioning, often implementing a different name in lieu of their now “dead” one, as well as espousing a defined set of pronouns as they do.”

But the Furries depicted within Spring’s ill-considered meme however, are a far different lot, and while they may seem slightly more fascinating culturally, they’re definitively not as compelling as the stories of the TG community, in this writer’s humble opinion. But what pray tell, is a Furry you ask/?

Well, according to Wikipedia, a Furry is: “A member of a subculture interested in anthropomorphic animal characters. Examples of anthropomorphic attributes include exhibiting human intelligence and facial expressions, speaking, walking on two legs, and wearing clothes.”

 A descriptive that is best illustrated by the photo below, representing what stereotypically passes as (to some extent) the standard attire for both male and female Furry aficionados alike:

Keeping in mind that I’m really not into this sort of thing, I’d still have to acknowledge that if I was, I would definitely buy that foxy lady a few drinks, unless of course, said Furry and I, could use the same Mach3 razor for the same intended purpose. No offense to the Furry community at large, but if I ever flip teams, it’s going to be for a guy that looks like 1995’s Pierce Brosnan in Goldeneye, and not one who resembles a squirrel.

Sorry / not sorry.

That metaphorical situation aside, Furries are not exclusively Transgender, even if the subculture itself, may tend to have members who actually are. Very much in the same way that knowing a queer person doesn’t make you an immediate expert on the collected works of Barbara Streisand and Cher, being a Transperson, doesn’t automatically make them an immediate member of every societal subculture that you may find deviant, as Spring apparently does.

Nevertheless, while Spring’s preoccupation with the TG facet of the LGBTQ Community borders on the disturbing in and of itself, it’s his continuing obsession with what are known as “Drag Queens”, that truly allows his wretched homophobia to take center stage.

For the uninitiated, a drag queen is [characteristically] a gay male, although some queens self-identify as either transgender or curiously enough, as cisgender. Drag queens assume both a female persona and their gender-specific clothing in order to perform routines, which stereotypically, could be classified as “over -the-top”.

While their chosen art and lifestyle was once relegated to the allegorical backrooms of most entertainment venues, there has been a growing societal acceptance of the DQ subculture over the last few years, thanks to well-known Queens such as RuPaul and Bianca Del Rio, and it is yet another thing that Spring, ever the eternal bigot and intellectual void, cannot simply abide:

And there it is, the bullspit gambit that is the “Protect the Children” narrative, foisted upon society by the very same people who in their quest to protect said children, have deliberately cut their social benefits, underfunded their public schools, demonized their single mothers and working-class parents, and whom have also done nothing of note to stop the epidemic of mass shootings in their schools, but I digress.

The callousness displayed towards DQ’s is founded upon the incessant need that Conservatives have to degradate that which in their hive mindset, they have determined to be the “Other”- a faceless and soulless entity that exists only to be mocked and reviled, by persons who desire a perpetual scapegoat to blame the ills of the world on, be they real or fantastical.

And as you may have foreseen, Spring, a man who sees everyone he doesn’t care to understand as adversaries, is only too happy to get on the hate wagon, and wave his pious pitchfork in protest:

Jesus F Christ, Jimmy. It’s one thing to have an opinion on a non-issue, asinine as it is, but for a refreshing change, could you just once, base yours off the bedrock of actually defined reality? F**k dude, I’ve got lawn furniture that’s smarter than you, and that s**t came from Walmart.

In order of Spring’s stupidity, no teacher anywhere, is “fighting’ to keep drag queens in schools, and the reason why the Bible isn’t allowed as part of the curriculum in public schools, is because we live in a constitutional republic and NOT a goddamn theocracy.

And no, kids don’t need parents reading them passages from within a book that describes numerous acts of murder, rape, sodomy, racism, slavery, misogyny, genocide, and clueless subjugation to a mythical and mercurial, sociopathic deity. If I had kids, I’d rather that “Goodnight Moon” be read to them by the absolutely fabulous Trixie Mattel, rather than your Bronze-Age version of a “Saw” film with angels.

However, it’s that last meme of Spring’s that really sticks in my allegorical craw, as it is equal parts ignorance, bigotry, and outright hypocrisy, which at this point, I’m starting to think is Spring’s personal superpower. To retort, no, it is not “easier” to get a DQ into a school than a Christmas tree, you f**king loon, and quite honestly, having you lecture us all on moral degeneracy, is akin to attending a class on food preparation, hosted by Jeffery Dahmer.

In short order Jimmy Ray, you’re a homophobic, transphobic, xenophobic, Islamophobic, misogynistic, racist faux Christian, who not only supports the current GQP platform based on unwarranted fear, conspiracies, and sociopathy, but its de facto leader as well, that being a man who openly spews falsehoods, cheats on his spouse, steals government secrets, attempts insurrection, and brags about the women he’s sexually assaulted, as if he were talking about the items on his bucket list.

So maybe just maybe, when it comes to your sanctimonious sermonizing upon that which is good or evil, perhaps you  should, I don’t know… sit this one right the f**k out? But as it is with all curs politically rabid, Spring isn’t about to let a good bone go unmolested, even if he has to add a vile context to it that on no level, actually exists:

Save the Children” say the very same people who cut welfare programs that feed and house them, purposefully underfund the public schools that educate them, as they refuse to enact reasonable gun control to stop mass school shootings within said schools, while banning and burning the books that should be inside them, and who demand that the pregnant children of rape and incest, be forced to carry the resultant spawn of such atrocities to full term, but I digress.

As for Spring’s erroneous inference that DQs pose a severe threat to children, I’d counter with the proven fact that when it comes to the carnal orientation of sexual offenders, the ratio of heterosexual to homosexual pedophiles, was calculated to be approximately 11-1. In other words, the kids that Spring professes such fawning concern over, have far more to be worried about from someone like him, rather than anyone like RuPaul.

And in an even far more relevant note, I’d like to point out that while there have been over twenty-five schoolchildren killed this year in mass shooting events, there have been ZERO fatalities resulting from their alleged exposure to a drag queen show. But in concern to Spring’s need to fuel his own paranoia regarding a topic he knows not a thing about, and in all honesty, doesn’t care to, I do have a simple message that he needs to take to heart, and it is thus:

Sad to say though, that as it has been revealed over the last two screeds as well as this one, and as I’ve noted previously, Reality and Spring parted company quite some time ago, and the odds of an amicable reconciliation are probably just as strong as the band formerly known as Oasis, successfully getting through a reunion tour without lead singer Liam Gallagher and his brother Noel, killing one another..  

In other words, the chances are practically nonexistent.

Irrespective of this sad testament to the highly publicized failure of an interpersonal relationship, anyone who dares to willingly dive into Spring’s mentally-deficient psyche, will ultimately realize that they’re treading metaphorical merde in a cesspool overflowing with the vilest character flaws that a human being can present to the world, and even worse, it never sems to empty, regardless of how much logic draws out of it.

When the arrogance of his inanity fails, Spring resorts to intellectually weak personal attacks. When those miss the mark, he then hides behind the shield of his false faith, and when that gambit invariably crushes inward as it always does, he goes straight into the allegorical state of Def-Con 4, and launches the most repulsive and unwarranted of conspiracy theories, in order to maintain the small-dick energy that buttresses his vile ideology:   

For those of you unfamiliar with the context, I’ll explain: in a chilling attack during the early hours of October 27th, 2022, Paul Pelosi, the 82-year-old husband of House Speaker Nancy Pelosi (D) awoke to find a mentally-disturbed individual by the name of David DePape, standing next to his bed, wielding a hammer, carrying a bundle of Zip ties, and demanding to know exactly where Pelosi’s wife was.

He also was in possession of a roll of tape, a length of white rope, one pair of rubber and cloth gloves, and unless DePape was there to make a pinata out of common household items, his intent seems pretty obvious, especially given the fact that during the encounter, Pelosi suffered a skull fracture and serious injuries to his right arm and hands, but thankfully, is expected to make a full recovery.

According to the San Francisco Police, DePape told officers [allegedly] that “he was going to hold Nancy hostage and talk to her.” And that he would let her go if she were to tell him the “truth,” and if she “lied,” he was going to break “her kneecaps.”, ending his statement to officers with the assertion that “he viewed Nancy as the ‘leader of the pack’ of lies told by the Democratic Party,

He also added that; “I didn’t really want to hurt him, but you know, this was a suicide mission”, which of course, is a statement that points all indicators towards a gay tryst gone askew, rather than a deranged plan of action put in play by a man who is nuttier than a twenty-dollar pecan pie.

DePape is currently facing prison time for attempted homicide, assault with a deadly weapon, elder abuse, and burglary, as well as several federal charges, including one count of assault on an immediate family member of a U.S. official “with the intent to retaliate against the official on account of the performance of official duties,” according to a statement by the Department of justice, along with one count of attempted kidnapping of a federal official, which if combined with the other outstanding charge, could lead to a sentence of no less than five decades.

But feel free to overlook all that, as Spring has willfully done, because in his warped worldview, a horrific attack on an octogenarian who has no political influence save for being the husband of a politico that Spring despises, is irrelevant to the situation that he sees as opportune to score some non-points by disseminating a repulsive rumor, rather than expressing what should be disgust at the event itself.

Spring’s glee at doing so, based on nothing but his inherent lunacy and devotion to a personality cult, is in and of itself, not all that shocking, considering his well-documented false sense of Christianity, along with his seething hatred of those who don’t agree with him, but even I find myself stunned at just how easily he swallowed this Alt-Wrong manufactured bullspit, especially given the fact that most of his mouth is preoccupied with allegorically fellating Trump’s allegedly mediocre mushroom.

To be fair, while Spring’s devotion not to his mythical God, but to a mango-tinted man-child who would turn him into a Soylent Green souffle in a heartbeat if he needed a snack, is at this point rather well-established, this new aspect of personal sadism, concerning a man who has so many sticks up his ass, that he’s been designated a woodland refuge, was not quite the character growth I was expecting to see.

If I may, let, me punch just a few holes in Spring’s Gloat Boat, and then we can gauge just how well it will float, when the ballast of actual Reality is added to it. First, I’d point out that if Pelosi was “notorious’ for both frequenting gay bars and bringing home club-boys, as the meme claims, I can most certainly assure you that the GQP would have weaponized such intel years ago, and Trump would have unquestionably, been in the forefront of using such scandalous information to its fullest political advantage.

And yet… no witnesses have come forward to back up such claims. Not one for-hire rent-boy. Not one club employee, taxi driver, or supposed “neighbor” who observed such activity, either. In addition, there’s no photographs, no videos, be they personal or off a security-cam, and no further proof in the way that only emails, texts, or a record of curiously timed phone calls, would so easily provide.

As for the rest implying that Pelosi and DePape were in a “consensual sexual relationship”, I’d call attention to the fact that not only is there no evidence to bolster such an asinine assertion, but that DePape has a long [and well-documented] history of struggling with the dual demons of mental illness and drug abuse, and according to an ex-girlfriend, once harbored the delusion that he was Jesus, for almost a year.

But yes, it must be a case of a queer relationship gone wrong, versus an obvious occurrence of a mentally fragile man being influenced by the sheer madness of the Alt-Wring ideology, as his friends and family have repeatedly claimed to anyone who would listen. Unfortunately for them, as well as DePape and Pelosi, Spring is as deaf to their declarations, as he is to the siren-call of fact-based Logic.

Ladies and gentlemen, may I present one James Ray Spring: Patriot. Native Oklahoman. Proud MAGAt. And as we’ve all just witnessed, one dumber than f**k whacked out conspiracy theorist. And let’s never forget, he’s also a devout self-declared Christian, to boot. I say “self-declared”, because there’s no way in allegorical Hell that this repulsively amalgamated shell of hubris and hate could ever make it past the Golden Gates without reproach.

However, Spring is not above extending the spiritual olive branch as it were, and every now and then, he’ll actually post something positive, if not inspirational:

At first glance, even I would say that I agree with this message, despite the repeatedly displayed cultural abhorrence of the one who delivered it. For after all, it would be nice to find that happy medium yet again where opposing views were met with the politeness of agreeing to disagree, rather than credible threats of violence, or having one’s’ mother compared to being a post-compensated landing strip for itinerant dockworkers.

Granted, such hostility is to be expected given the upheaval of what were once the social norms, but to be fair, it’s kind of difficult to accept the veracity of Spring’s meme, given all the inarguable evidence that his hypocrisy far outweighs his civility. Spring exists in a self-made world of fear, ignorance, and hate, and nothing will ever change that, because as a rule, his world is the only world he’s ever known, and as such, there’s no room or time for acts of transformative self-introspection.

Or so I thought:

Now, if I were a charitable person, I would ascribe this declaration as a measure of noble character growth, but as I’ve been swimming in Spring’s warped psyche for the last few months, I know that this is just another attempt to justify his humanistic and spiritual weaknesses.

is a bigot, a misogynist, a homophobe, a transphobe, a xenophobe, a flaming hypocrite, and an arrogant racist, and I can assure you that if God does indeed exist, Spring better make peace with the fact that he’s going to be spending eternity serving as the coat-check girl in the sixth circle of Hell.

Speaking of which, it seems that Spring is already well in touch with the insidious powers of the Dark, and despite being one of God’s self-declared stalwarts called up to battle the malevolent, decides to merge with them instead, issuing an unwarrn6ted slur aimed at the Trans community- you knew, just like Jesus would do:

Sigh… looks like ol’ Jimmy Ray here, forgot about the passage in the owner’s manual that he’s never read, that being Isaiah 45:7, which states that; “I form the light, and create darkness: I make peace, and create evil: I THE LORD DO ALL THESE THINGS” Now, I’ve referenced Isaiah before, but it’s the message of John 4:20 that Spring should probably heed.

You know, when he’s done slandering those he despises, in the name of Christ?

For the uninitiated among you, John 4:20 succinctly covers the transgression that Spring is most guilty of, that the professing of love and devotion for the mythical Lord and his works, but in the reality of the public sphere, displaying nothing but contempt for his fellow man, woman, or Transperson.

From John 4:20: “If anyone says, “I love God,” and hates his brother, he is a liar; for he who does not love his brother whom he has seen cannot love God whom he has not seen.” Given all that, I ask you: does this meme posted by Spring, represent a devout Christian following the essence of the Word, or a mindless cultist, following the lead of a political movement long devoid of humanity, charity, tolerance, or common sense?

I’ll leave that assessment up to you:

However, if you find yourself wavering on the razor’s edge, take into your considerations that there’s also this warped presentation of God’s mercy and grace, delivered by a person who quite obviously, has never possessed either quality, and thinks that unbridled vengeance is the far better option for maintaining a civil society:

Let’s draw a comparison here, shall we? I am, and always have been, an ardent supporter of the death penalty, believing that its application should be solely reserved for only the worst of crimes and their perpetrators. And while I am also as equally behind carrying out said sentences far more quickly depending on the jurisdictional issues involved, I don’t take its use lightly, or flippantly.

However, given Spring’s almost sociopathic reaction in relation to women, gays, minorities, and the Trans community asserting their constitutional rights, I get the feeling that in Spring’s version of Utopia, such people would find themselves eliminated on the hour, for the supposed “sin” of daring to live their own lives contradictory to his archaic and asinine beliefs.

But this is not to say that down deep in the withered and blackened prune that substitutes fir his formerly working heart, there isn’t some sense of compassion still beaming. Sure, we haven’t seen Spring apply it to any of the people that Jesus tells him he should offer it to, but Spring knows best.

Of that, I’m unquestionably certain.

In fact, Spring does have a soft spot it seems, for the natural enemies of organized religion, that being the insidious cabal armed with Logic and Science known as Atheists, or as most religious groups tend to call them; “heathens”. Sane people on the other hand, tend to refer to them as … well, “sane people”, so how you view them I guess, all depends on just how you apply your personal perspective to the situation laid out before you.

And when it comes to dealing with those who don’t believe in what Spring believes, he’s more than mature enough to accept their point of view, while happily maintaining his own, despite their insistence on mocking his:

Wow. Who would have thought that Spring, an otherwise hypocritical false Christiaan, could actually possess the inherent ability to publicly declare that he has zero issues with those who are adamantly opposed to his faith’s insistence on jamming their sociopathic myth into every facet of our personal lives, regardless of our interest?

I mentioned the concept of character growth earlier, but this right here, my loyal Bitchiteers, is character growth on a colossal scale. In fact, I’m so Impressed, that I’m going to take back some of the things that I said, and… oh wait, what’s this? Spring has some further visual commentary regarding Atheism?  Well, I’m sure that if anything, it’s definitely going to change my opinion of the man, given his previously posted open-mindedness:

Sigh… or maybe not.

I tell you now, as I’ve told you before, that one day, and this hopefully very soon, I’m trading in my gut instinct for one that actually freaking works. But as usual, Spring has posted some asinine theorems, and as the Chosen Snark of All, it’s my duty to eviscerate them, in my stereotypically kind fashion, with sensitivity and the gentlest of wry humor.

In order of intellectual density: ”They” don’t go after Satanists Jimmy Ray, because (A) Satanists don’t believe that Satan is real, his name being chosen as a means to provoke a reaction from you guys, and unlike your movement comprised of cafeteria Christians, they don’t push their ideology into our schools, government, bedrooms and personal medical decisions.

And here’s a real kick in the pants Jimmy, Satanism’s rules of personal conduct, are far more self-responsible than yours, to boot, and are known in tandem, as The Seven Fundamental Tenets, and The.Eleven Satanic Rules of the Earth.

The Seven as they stand: 
(1) One should strive to act with compassion and empathy toward all creatures in accordance with reason.
(2) The struggle for justice is an ongoing and necessary pursuit that should prevail over laws and institutions.
(3) One’s body is inviolable, subject to one’s own will alone.
(4) The freedoms of others should be respected, including the freedom to offend. To willfully and unjustly encroach upon the freedoms of another is to forgo one’s own.
(5) Beliefs should conform to one’s best scientific understanding of the world. One should take care never to distort scientific facts to fit one’s beliefs.
(6) People are fallible. If one makes a mistake, one should do one’s best to rectify it and resolve any harm that might have been caused.
(7) Every tenet is a guiding principle designed to inspire nobility in action and thought. The spirit of compassion, wisdom, and justice should always prevail over the written or spoken word.

Conversely, the Eleven declare that you;
(!) Do not give opinions or advice unless you are asked.
(2) Do not tell your troubles to others unless you are sure they want to hear them.
(3) When in another’s lair, show him respect or else do not go there.
(4) If a guest in your lair annoys you, treat him cruelly and without mercy.
(5) Do not make sexual advances unless you are given the mating signal.
(6) Do not take that which does not belong to you, unless it is a burden to the other person and he cries out to be relieved.
(7) Acknowledge the power of magic if you have employed it successfully to obtain your desires. If you deny the power of magic after having called upon it with success, you will lose all you have obtained.
(8) Do not complain about anything to which you need not subject yourself.
(9) Do not harm little children.
(10) Do not kill non-human animals unless you are attacked or for your food.
(11) When walking in open territory, bother no one. If someone bothers you, ask him to stop. If he does not stop, destroy him.

Overall, and by comparison, both of these codes of self-responsibility, kick the living crap out of the celestially determined by “God” edicts that Spring acknowledges, but rarely if ever, follows. And within that particular set of ten underpinning his said faith, I’d note that there’s no less than TREE reminders on just how to properly kiss that deity’s allegorical ass, lest ye be sentenced to Hell for all eternity. To which, I’ll take a hard pass on both aspects, thank you very much.

Say what you will about Satanism, but at least their allegoric 7-11 doesn’t sell scapegoats.

Now, as to the commentary encapsulated within Spring’s second meme, I have yet to hear any high-level Atheist publicly claim that the Universe as we know it, was created by “Aliens”, or come across any atheistic source saying this is so, but to be fair, when someone believes that there’s a sky-daddy watching everything you do from his celestial home located above you in the clouds, it’s not like you can sit down and nave a rational discussion regarding their fantastical fallacies to begin with.

As an added bonus, Spring’s third meme is a beautiful example of his consistently unaware hypocrisy, wherein he calls out his supposed adversaries, for engaging in the very same activities that he regularly engages in himself, such as attacking those people and institutions that he doesn’t like. To note, the only time I’ve ever see an Atheist metaphorically “attack” someone, is when said person is trying to push their sociopathic myth into an arena that neither requires it, or more Importantly, demanded it in the first place

Nevertheless, when Spring finds a beat he likes, he sticks with it, even if the record he’s playing, is warped:

Once again, Spring’s unawareness of just how the world actually works, in regards to his faith not doing half as well, creates an inadvertent atmosphere of hilarious hypocrisy. When you believe in the “God” theorem as the seed of all Creation, you have no room mocking the one regarding the “Big Bang”, which unlike the celestial concept, left behind verifiable evidence in its defense.

Not to mention, the reason why the Bible outlaws the more unholy desires of Man, is for the sole purpose of controlling them, which shockingly, is more of a human construct, than one that could (or should) be ascribed to the otherworldly, instead. And as for the final meme, that purported exchange is as close to the schoolyard taunt of “I know you are but what am I?” that I have ever seen, as it’s been applied here, to the subject of all that which is holy.

And as an aside, while Lennox’s achievements serving as the Professor of Mathematics at Oxford University are impressive, he’s still a Christian apologist going up against the man who while he was still alive, made significant scientific discoveries concerning; the origins of the Universe, Time itself, the Big Bang Theory, gravitational and spacetime singularities, Black Hole radiation the theory of a universe without spacetime boundaries, and the strong probability of extraterrestrial life being actually existent.

But please John… ignore the contradictory nature of your Bronze-Age fairy-tale, and tell us more about your fantastical, mercurial, sociopathic sky-daddy- I’m sure that we can all benefit from hearing just why we have to live on our knees, satisfying his pointlessly cruel and selfish personal whims.

I’d also point out that science has definitive evidence, whereas Mythology, and by critical extension, it’s pathology of magical thinking, simply does not, so feel free to suck on that John, and suck it hard.

Now, as I do know how annoyingly distressing this fact can be to people who believe in a reanimated zombie and former carpenter as their savior, I’ll just ignore pointing out the inconsistencies in their for-display-only coffee table boasting book, and sometimes alternative beer coaster, and dive straight into my next dissertation, which this time, will concern itself with dissecting Spring’s unwarranted sense of self-righteousness:

To repeat a by-now-familiar refrain, I’ll address this density in order- no Jimmy Ray, Democrats do not “hate God, Family, and Country”, and even if we did, so what? For a guy who walks with the supposed most powerful being in the known Universe, you seem awfully threatened when his non-existence is directly pointed out to you.

As for the rest, you clueless dumbf**k, we also have families, both traditional and not-so-much, and we will happily continue to protect them from your racist, transphobic, misogynistic, homophobic policies crafted to destroy them, and as we live in this country still, we’re obviously okay with it as it exists. What we do “hate” however, is your party claiming to be the sole progenitor of ethical values, and displaying little to none, in regards to the issue that you claim to hold sacred.

Hershel Walker and his supposed stance on abortion and the social and cultural issue of African-American men abandoning their families as an allegorical litmus test, anyone? And let’s not forget your ostensibly endless fascination with being part of a personality cult that fetishizes death.  

Case in point: the meme stating directly, that “God” has the “right” to destroy us all at any point, “no questions asked.” Guess what, motherf**ker- I’ve got some serious questions to ask, and they ain’t gonna be respectful in either their tone or content, as any so-called “sin” placed upon me or others, is all his fault to begin with.

By this, I mean to say that if “God” knows everything [he’s omnipotent, remember] that is going to happen, then why in his name, would he endow his most favored creation with the Free Will that for a majority, would most certainly, engineer their spiritual downfall? That’s not the caring plan of an all-loving father, that’s the checklist of a f**king serial killer, intent on making a tuxedo from the skin of his next-door neighbors.

But the best part of this little meme fest, is the blatant hypocrisy of the third meme, listing all the sins that Spring supposedly abhors. And as a public service, I’m more than happy to go through them, one by one, and note just why Spring’s reproach of them is do goddamn disingenuous.

“It’s not an affair, it’s Adultery.:  And yet outwardly, Spring has zero issue with the multitudes of adulterous affairs committed by the brethren of his party, ranging from Marjorie Taylor Greene to Donald Trump himself, but maybe the reason he hasn’t addressed this hypocrisy on FB, is because he hasn’t discovered the right meme to do so, thus far.

“It’s not safe sex, it’s Fornication”: Spoken like a truly frustrated incel who had to get married, in order to play a round of Oklahoman Bajingo, without having to pay for it first. Now given this statement, this infers that Spring was a virgin when he got married, not that there’s anything wrong with that, but yet… I’ve never seen a post of his where he addresses young men about the sanctity of remaining a virgin until they’re legally betrothed, so I guess this message of chastity is for the women out there only… as always.

“It’s not gay love, it’s Sodomy.” I hate to be the one yet again who has to break new information to you Jimmy Ray, but there’s an awful lot of Christians out there who’ve willingly incorporated some seriously ”gay” practices into their private sex lives, so you just might want to back off this particular topic, whose minutiae it can be said, you seem far more interested in, than the people who are actually espousing it.

“It’s not veneration, it’s Idolatry”: Really, Jimmy Ray? Do tell:

For the sake of clarity, I have no idea what the original Golden Calf originally looked like, but I’d bet dollars to doughnuts, that this depiction of a false prophet sitting in a golden palace replete with the Whore of Babble-on at his side, is the closest we’ll ever get to witnessing a modern-day reboot.

Sadly however, this mango-tinted calf lacks the one quality that its predecessor had in buckets- the ability to be relegated to the scrap pile, once the people who adored it, realized their collective mistake in worshiping it.

“It’s not pro-choice, it’s Murder”: No, Jimmy. It’s not. And you would know this, if you on occasion, actually picked up a science book, rather than rely on the Bronze-Age one full of fairy-tales that doesn’t mention abortion even once within its pages. Which is somewhat odd, when given the fact that God randomly slaughters babies and other innocents by the truck-load, when the mercurial mood strikes him.

I’m not going to retread an argument that I’ve written about at length before, [Check out the AB “Archive” for further details] but I’m also not going to take any ethical guidance from a party who, when confronted with evidence from The Daily Beast that self-declared “Pro-Lifer” and GQP Candidate Herschel Walker having paid for multiple abortions, ignored his hypocrisy outright.

Well sort of, anyway.

Turns out, that ex-NRA soulless shill and fellow Conservative dissembler Dana Loesch, most definitely had an opinion regarding the controversy, asserting: “How many times have I said four very important words? These four words: Winning is a virtue, And, please keep in mind that I am concerned about one thing, and one thing only at this point. So, I don’t care if Herschel Walker paid to abort endangered baby eagles. I want control of the Senate.”

Continuing with her ducking of the actual issue at hand, Loesch cemented her disingenuous position of deflection by declaring: “If the Daily Beast story is true, you’re telling me Walker used his money to reportedly pay some skank for an abortion, and Sen. Raphael Warnock wants to use all of our moneys to pay a whole bunch of skanks for abortions, So, it doesn’t change anything for me!”

“Skanks”, Dana? Were you referring to the numerous women that your so-called family values candidate knocked up, and then abandoned as if they were the condoms that he should have used? Even more interestingly, I’ve noticed that the very same people who demanded that Colin Kapernick shut the f**k up and play football, nave yet to say the same to the brain-dead and disingenuous dumbf**k, that is Herschel Walker.

Nevertheless, I’m confident that’s just an oversight, and not a bigoted delineation of who’s being a good “boy” and who isn’t. I guess the status of endangered fetuses to the GQP is rendered unimportant, when the advantage of throwing them under their candidate’s campaign bus to aid in his political traction instead, becomes far more prevalent to their garnering of votes.

But if you could Jimmy Ray, please lecture us all about the evils of Abortion, as your party willingly abandons its supposedly sacred principles. I’m sure we could all learn a valuable lesson from doing so, that being the inarguable fact that your party’s metaphorical house of ethics, sits on the quickest of sand.

Moving on.

“It’s not alcoholism, it’s Drunkenness”: Once again, in reference to an inanity that you’ve posted, you self-righteous twunt: no, it’s not. It’s the inability to control drinking, due to both a physical and emotional dependence on alcohol. And in order to achieve its cessation, it requires a multi-level approach, involving physical detoxification, behavioral therapy, the possibility of being medicated, and yes, even a measure of understanding, which as a supposed “Christian”, you should possess in buckets, but seemingly don’t.

For as James 2:14-17 puts it; “What doth it profit, my brethren, though a man say he hath faith, and have not works? can faith save him? If a brother or sister be naked, and destitute of daily food, and one of you say unto them, depart in peace, be ye warmed and filled; notwithstanding ye give them not those things which are needful to the body; what doth it profit? Even so faith, if it hath not works, is dead, being alone.”

Nevertheless Jimmy Ray, I’m sure that Jesus still loves you anyway, because as we all know, he tends to play kind of fast and loose with that whole ”do unto others “ thing, so even though you’re willingly turning your back on those who need your help if not your compassion the most, I’m sure he’d be still down with you not offering either to those afflicted with a crippling addiction.

Sure, he might have once turned water into wine, but in all seriousness, he can’t expect you to take that arrogantly sanctimonious chunk of coal in your chest, and turn it back into a working heart, can he? But let’s take a deep look at that last part of secular smugness that Spring gifted us all with, that being the warning; “Do not trivialize your sin. It’s time to Repent.

And as the word “repent” is the only one capitalized, we know that Spring is truly serious about it. But what exactly, does that word really mean in a day and age where Logic and Reason should far outweigh the intellectually void of slavish devotion to a Bronze-Age ideology?

Well, for the uninitiated yet again, here’s the standardized definition: “To feel sorry, self-reproachful, or contrite for past conduct; regret or be conscience-stricken about a past action, attitude, etc. To feel such sorrow for sin or fault, as to be disposed to change one’s life for the better; be penitent.”

Hmm. Given that definition, I wonder if Spring will ever feel the need to repent for his bigoted stance concerning the civil rights of African-Americans, or his homo / transphobia regarding the LGBTQ Community at large, and let us not forget, the amazing amount of dedication he’s shown to steadfastly remaining a knuckle-dragging misogynist, along with his being a religious hypocrite, as well.

To loosely paraphrase a statement by the late Frank Zappa, despite the sanctimonious shrillness of Spring’s assertions and/or threats that us nonbelievers are the ones to be certainly facing an eternity in the fiery pit where the fallen angels with the horns and the pointy fork-sticks do their business, it’s actually the self-declared faux Christians who are the most at risk of becoming a personal sex-and-chew-toy for the Lord High Satan himself.   

This might be the appropriate time for me to address the reality that the assigning of something as being either Good or Evil, comes down to the duality of how one applies their perspective and personal power to the situation at hand, for as it is noted in Romans 10:3;For they being ignorant of God’s righteousness, and going about to establish their own righteousness, have not submitted themselves unto the righteousness of God.

In essence, God is saying; “That’s my awesomeness you’re supposed to be bragging about, not your own”, so by Spring abusing the cover of his faith to justify demonizing those unknown to him, he openly violates the edict of Romans 10:3 without question.

So, if there truly is a Hell, Jimmy Ray, its fires await you and your faux proselyting ilk- not us.

While somewhat caustically harsh, I’ll stand behind this opinion of mine with a bucket of my own blood, for one simple reason, and it is this- hypocrisy in the eyes of the mythical God, is one of the biggest sins of all, and Spring is one of its biggest fomenters, if not a supreme collector of such.

Label my cynicism as arrogant, but I know beyond a shadow of a doubt, that if and when, the End Times finally arrive, and blares its clarion call, Spring is going to drop to his knees faster than a Catholic priest at a Boy Scout Jamboree, desperately attempting to stave off that which most certainly, has just been waiting in store for him.  

Karma may be a bitch as the saying goes, but trust me, it’s got nothing on a pissed-off Savior who’s been watching the Word he gifted to his favorite Creations, getting perverted by the very same, as if it were a busload of pre-teens visiting Jeffery Epstein’s house, and just itching to settle his allegorical hash with one of its worst offenders.

I once suggested that Spring stock up on an eternal supply of Aloe Vera for where he was going to be spending his afterlife, but now I’m thinking he should invest in some good-quality BBQ sauce as well, because once he gets there, the Devil is going to be spending all of his free time roasting his duplicitous ass.

Unsurprisingly, if you asked Spring about my premonitions of predictive purgatory, I’m quite certain that he would strongly and definitively disagree. After all, as a self-declared Christian, Spring is more than capable of deciding unlike my firmly rooted in atheism self, just which celestial edicts he’ll follow, and which he’ll choose to just ignore outright.

And disingenuousness be [literally] damned, for regardless of whatever evidence exists, (which he’s usually provided) Spring’s still going to claim the moral high ground, despite his obviously operating from within the bowels of its sewer.

For instance, while Jesus openly and willingly, hung out with social outcasts, such as lepers and prostitutes, I’m confident that if Spring ever found himself sharing an elevator with a Transgender African-American Atheist for 35 seconds, the flop-sweat running off of him as the result for having to do so, would lead to an almost-fatal case of dehydration.

This is not to say however, that even while wading waist-deep in the merde of his own making, Spring isn’t thoughtful enough to share the experience with the rest of us:

This time around, we open up with a meme that graphically shows the epitome of Mankind devolving from free-thinking and logical creatures, into willingly obedient slaves, bowing, scraping, and mewling, at the feet and bequest of a mercurial sociopath, who promises much, but only if certain conditions bordering on the damn near nigh impossible, are met.

The irony of images such as the one displayed, however, lies in the fact that as God’s children, we’re tasked with the endeavor to be sincerely contrite, if not publicly humble, and yet, when the majority of modern-day Christians are observed under the microscope of America’s culture, they’re typically the most arrogantly condemnatory and prideful people you’ve ever met, as attested to by meme number two.

To note, the “End Times” have been predicted by the innumerable score as either forthcoming, or being already well in play, since the early 15th Century, and as of yet, not one of these foretold dates, has been on the money.

I find this circumstance odd, given all the “proof’ that these dimwitted doomsayers claim to have gleaned from unimpeachable sources, ranging from the Bible [naturally] to assumed celestial omens, such as Nickelback being allowed ongoing radio airplay, but as indicated thus far, the End Times are apparently taking their sweet-ass-time getting here, despite all the Evangelical assertions to the latter.

To be quite honest, I’m starting to think that the End Times are nothing more than an elaborate Ponzi scheme, established to create an ever-perpetual climate of fear, as a means to not only separate the gullible from their money, but their mental autonomy as well. This in turn, equally assures both an income stream, as well as an inherent ability to maintain societal control to boot, by those select few who control the machinations of such, hiding in the dark, deep behind the scenes.

But maybe that’s just my properly functioning sense of logic talking, as it tends to do that, when it’s faced with illogically unchecked paranoid fantasies disseminated by wannabe false prophets.

And in a twist that’s far funnier than anything I could ever write, I appreciate the warning from Spring that if we don’t repent to God concerning the original “sin” that he placed upon us knowingly, we’re going to suffer terrible torments at the hands of…  you guessed it, the same sociopath who burdened us with it in the first place.

So… one stop shopping, I guess? Talk about convenience.

Speaking of which, I for one, have no idea, nor does anybody else for that matter, know with any form of certainty, exactly what happens when we die. All we as a species have to answer this eternal query, are the most random assortment of philosophies, concerns, and unwarranted hopes, generally based within our collective experiences or what we were taught during our formative years.

Personally, I’ve always ascribed to the scientific theorem of “That which is made cannot be unmade”, but this in and of itself, is somewhat of an abstract thought, at best. Due to that theoretical aspect, I’d refer back to my “unmade” commentary.

Now, for sanity’s sake, I won’t open up the discussion regarding the weight of a soul. as so brilliantly depicted within the sci-fi classic novel “On a Pale Horse” by Piers Anthony, but I do like that its story wryly espouses that a person’s belief, influences the fate of one’s immortal soul. The lone exception of course, being atheists, who seemingly refuse to exist after death.


If I were to expound upon his concept, I’d repeat the words once written by the British philosophical writer James Allen, who said: “Man is made and unmade by himself. In the armory of thought he forges the weapons which will destroy him. He also creates the tools with which he will build for himself heavenly mansions of joy and strength and peach. Between these two extremes are all the grades of character, and man is their maker and their master.”

In my overview, I can only take these words to infer that as it is staged in “On a Pale Horse”, it is Man alone who places himself respectively in his allegorical Hell or Heaven, as his / her belief influences one’s immortal fate, and not an all-powerful, all-knowing, all-fictional “God” who does so.

Somewhat simplistic, I know, but that’s how I regard it.

An avowed atheist will tell you that we stop existing after death, as I noted previously, but as for myself, a person who has no sense of Faith whatsoever, I still reserve a doubt or two, although they’re not based within the sphere of religious conviction, but more along the lines that if it comes down to the determination of who is far more worthy of respect, me or the deity I regard as wholly mythical, I’ll be the one laying down the judgement, versus the other way around.

So, no Jimmy Ray- there will be no need to “repent” on my part, because so far as I’m concerned, I don’t owe your mercurially maniacal God jackspit. However, in contrast, you might want to invest in a good set of knee-pads, because if you actually do place any serious stock in that mumbo-jumbo you spew, you’re going to be on them for quite some time paying for your sins, long before I ever have to atone for any of my theoretical ones.

This opinion, based on my long-held theorem that if there is a God, he’s either keenly complicit in underpinning the Evil that exists in the world, or powerless to affect it, and regardless of which status it is that he occupies, be it right or wrong he’s irrelevant to any moral decision that I alone, decide to make.

Don’t get me wrong, I like the concept of an eternal resort where serenity is key, and relaxation comes easily, but it sounds boring as frak. Not to mention, the choral music, the holier-than-all atmosphere, and the on the hour affirmation speeches that you just know will be blaring out of the patriarchal PA system, would just suck, after a while

And to be honest, if I were given the choice between eternally attending this kind of party…

…or hanging out at this full-blown rager that’s clearly ringing off the proverbial hook;

I guess daddy here, will be doing the Electric Slide in between stints of chatting up all the single demonesses, as he rides half-naked on the back of whatever the f**k this thing is:

Granted, the underappreciated entertainment value of watching Ted Bundy, Charles Manson, and whomever penned the “It’s a Small World” song, serve out their celestially-imposed sentences inside the Universe’s largest Hibachi grill, would be amazing, but I’m also cognizant that Heaven doesn’t want me, and the leadership of Hell is genuinely afraid I’d take over and immediately start screwing with the status quo.

Three simple words, boys and girls: Central. Air. Conditioning.

I will admit however, begrudgingly as it may be, that my particular take on all of this is not going to present itself as everybody’s cup of allegoric tea or Kombucha, for some of you weirder ones out there, and that’s just fine. Variety is the spice of life, after all, so I guess it can (and should) be applied to any discussions of our After-one as well.

But therein lies the key difference between nonbelievers such as myself, and self-declared ones such as Spring- we can handle the discussion, while they and he, as a rule of thumb, refuse to brook the merest attempt at doing so. Take for instance, the context of the last meme, where Spring claims that an errant beam of light constitutes definitive “proof” of a pathway to what I and many others, regard as a wholly mythical Heaven.

If I am understanding pre-ordained Dogma correctly, God, who claims to work in mysterious ways, [see Luke 24:16] and suggests in Matthew 25:13 that we collectively should: “Watch therefore, for ye know neither the day nor the hour wherein the Son of man cometh”, just decided to say “screw it”, and provide inarguably definitive proof as to his very existence, via an alleged fatal collieries, rather than any other form of communication available?

Let me explain my cynicism (past the obvious) this way: on April 27, 1986, a disgruntled electrical engineer named John R. MacDougall, [AKA; “Captain Midnight”] successfully hijacked the HBO broadcast signal being transmitted via the Galaxy 1 Satellite, for a time-span of four and a half minutes, during which period, a bizarre video featuring 80’s POP culture icon Max Headroom was aired in lieu of the film “The Falcon and the Snowman” that had been currently in progress before the interruption occurred:

And yet, despite nearly 7.3M viewers seeing a hack achieved using technology that would charitably be considered near-primitive now, the best that the omnipotent Father of All can muster, is a low-quality cellphone photo? Keep in mind, this weak-ass effort arrives courtesy of the same supposed deity who not only granted Moses the power to part the Red Sea, but whom also allegedly created the Universe entire in under a week, as well.

Man, how the mighty have fallen. Or at the very least, the quality of their product line.

No wonder the defiant angels, Adam and Eve, the platypus, original sin, fathering a son through non-consensual sex with a betrothed teenager in open violation of his own edict in Deuteronomy 22:25, his deciding to purposefully ignore the chosen people’s bondage as slaves, and losing his sh*t over the Tower of Babel, while seemingly not being bothered by Burj Khalifa whatsoever, were rightfully considered as PR disasters, what with such a scatterbrain behind the metaphysical steering wheel.

Given that track record, I guess we all should be grateful that the so-called Creator wasn’t inspired by the future examples of Pablo Picasso, and decided to put both of our eyes on the same side of our head.

But who knows? Even with science, logic, and proven reality seemingly on my side, there could still be a valid reason as to why the God I’ve deemed as purely mythical, might decide to eschew modern-day communication methods, in favor of the seminal classics he’s always been known for.

Once a hit, always a hit, says I, and who am I to judge what the best process is for certifying the celestial? Other than the aforementioned science, logic, and proven reality, that is.

Depending on who you ask, God “speaks” to humans in a variety of ways. Those [primarily] being through the Scripture, via the conduit of our personal difficulties, which has always seemed like a d**k move to me, through his chosen prophets imbued with the Holy Spirit, and lastly, through his numerous acts of Creation.

If one takes these into account, along with the example of the Burning Bush, it then makes sense as to why God doesn’t unitize Tik-Tok, or the reach of a blast e-mail. And if you’re truly a devoted follower of Christ, it’s a methodology that you’ve come to expect, if not rely on.

Regular readers of my screeds may recall how past Artbitch subject Ruth Darlene Seawolf once claimed that God sent her a personal message, and she posted her proof that He did so, if you believe in that sort of thing, using the most logical delivery stem available

… that being a Walmart receipt of course, just as the Prophecy foretold.

So, as it stands, it makes some form of limited sense that Spring, the self-declared Christian who is allegedly blessed with the same scientific intellect that nature bestowed upon a grouping of drunken Pet Rocks, would see a beam of light, reasonably assume that it’s God’s escalator for the newly departed, and not question it at all, because… um, why not?

Oh, that’s right- because of science, logic, and proven reality, that’s why. Unfortunately for both Spring and myself, neither one of us can prove the other 100% wrong, as Spring is intractable in concern to his cherry-picked belief system, and I of course, exist in Reality, a land that Spring willingly self-exiled himself from, quite some time ago.

This assessment brings to mind a further observation penned by the previously mentioned British philosophical writer James Allen, who in his seminal work “As a Man Thinketh”, correctly noted the following: ”A man’s mind may be likened to a garden, which may be intelligently cultivated or allowed to run wild; but whether cultivated or neglected, it must, and will, bring forth. If no useful seeds are put into it, then an abundance of useless weed seeds will fall therein, and will continue to produce their kind.”

Now to be brutally frank, I have no idea what seeds have been cultivated into maturity within the confines of Spring’s allegoric garden, but I’m more than willing to suggest that Lyutsifer Safin would feel right at home sitting among their offspring. For those of you who have no idea what I’m referring to, I’d suggest you go watch the last James Bond film entitled “No Time to Die”, and then come back to revel in the brilliant presentation of that joke, which once written, stays in the act forever:

Getting back on track, if Spring’s metaphorical garden does indeed exist, I’d have to believe given all the empirical evidence to be found, that it’s quite openly hostile to not only the seeds of change, but the forward-thinking gardeners who wish to plant them as well.

Spring, like most self-declared American Conservative Christians these days, sees enemies running amuck simply everywhere, irrespective of veracity or the sanity of such an idea, and I for one, cannot imagine living in a world where my being asked to comport myself as a functioning and empathetic human, would be regarded as nothing less than a personal threat.

Here’s the deal: if I disagree with something, whether that be a person’s political views, a corporation’s ethical stance, any form of disreputable entertainment, or a social movement that offends my sensibilities, I do this absolutely crazy thing where I either ignore it, mock it, as I’m currently doing with Spring’s absurdity here, or I go one step further, and make sure that my money doesn’t go to bolster it’s what I may feel is a vile agenda.

Hence the reason why I avoid Chick-fil-A like the goddamn metaphorical plague.

It’s an approach that I would advocate that Spring tries out at least once, whenever he gets done hurling slanderous invectives from inside his ivory bubble, of course. I don’t believe in “cancel culture” per se, because I tend to think that its brunt is being abused to the point of criminality by both sides fighting their supposed cultural war, but I am a big fan of calling Truth to Power, and in my humble opinion, Spring’s attacks on women, non-Christians, and the LGBTQ Community in general, are so not that.

Nevertheless, he does have the constitutional right to issue them, ignorantly abhorrent as they are, for if the First amendment can protect an alleged hatefully racist, misogynistic, homophobic, politically-retarded cultist moron such as Spring most certainly appears to be, you can only imagine what it can do in the mouth of someone who unlike Spring, isn’t a waste of otherwise useful skin and internal organs.

So, if Spring is seemingly incapable of bettering himself through and unwanted and continuous exposure to logic and humanity, two aspects that he fights against as if it were I battling the corporate catchiness of Nickelback’s “Burn It to the Ground” scorcher of a song, how can I in my simple guise as a societal Snark, rectify the situation at hand?

In a word or two, I simply can’t. It’s impossible to shame a person who has no inherent sense of it, and it’s damn near nigh a miracle, to pierce the arrogant confidence of anyone who has erroneously self-determined that they alone, hold the answers to all that they judgmentally survey.

And when that same said person earnestly believes that God is not only on their side, but is the incontestable source of justified inspiration for their nauseating nattering? Well, mythical God help us all then, because when that purposeful inanity is then amalgamated with the insidiousness of political partisanship, the sky is the limit as to what cultural damage a dedicated cabal of uniformed zealots can do:

As someone who has actually seen this movie, all I can say is this- God may hot have been dead when it premiered, but it sure as hell didn’t drive up the sales of his autobiography, either. On the upside, the film did star conservative TV has-been Kevin Sorbo, so for a few weeks at least, he wasn’t on Twitter reminding us all just why the plastic sword he once wielded on Hercules, was considered by many to be the far better actor twixt the two.

However, this is where we as Americans, currently find ourselves- culturally and politically disconnected, over-sensitive, over-reactive, increasingly paranoid, and potentially violent, given the right situation and/or triggering event. Spring and the others of his ilk just like him, are merely the visible symptoms of a cancer that’s been propagating within our political system since the early 80’s, and which has finally seized its birthright from within the ugly maw that houses American politics.

At the time of this writing, I’m 53 years old, living in a quiet slice of New Mexico, and I can honestly say that in all the time that I have been traversing this giant-ass ball of granite and coagulated space-dust, I have never once been witness to the dogmatic madness that thanks to the rise of fascist Trumpism, is seemingly infesting all that this country once held sacred.

Back in the days of my youth, the Riders of Reagan could be intense in their dedication to the Gipper, but holy Jesus f**k on a cracker, they weren’t anything as malevolently virulent as the Cult of 45 have proven themselves to be. Due in large part to the Alt-Wrong’s continuing campaign of what should be openly considered low-grade domestic terrorism, nothing is safe from the collective insanity that they disseminate as freely as they breathe.

And terrifyingly, there seems to be no end in sight in concern to it.

Look, I’m just a guy who writes- I don’t have all the answers, although sometimes, I’d like oi think that I do. If anything, I’m exceptionally good at seeing the cracks in the metaphorical armor, and devising the most efficient way to seal them shut. But as an observer of the sphere containing what’s currently going on, I’m genuinely flummoxed.

As a nation, we’re not dealing with an outside enemy– the call as it were, is literally coming from inside the house, and the bad guy could be anybody residing within its walls. And as it is such, the solution to restoring some form of natural balance, will require nothing less I’m afraid, than the application of forcefully direct sheer draconianism, as a consequence for the actions of those that deserve its brunt.

To be clear, I’m not suggesting we implement the fascistic approach that Trumpanzees are jonesing to incorporate into the very fabric of America itself, but I am saying that for the abominable horde walking relatively unchecked among us, it’s way past tine for them to pay the piper in penance for what they’ve willingly been a complicit component of, for over half a decade.

While the Constitution does guarantee you the inherent right to be dumber than f**k, it in no way, shape, or form, allows you the altitude of abusing the privilege to the point where it directly harms or endangers others, and it’s high time we endeavor to reweave that reality back into the fabric of our nation’s political system, if only for the betterment of our incredibly damaged civil discourse.

The first step (I feel) in my ever so humble opinion, is that we need to start exorcising the mental murkiness that is so consistently omnipresent within the lands of social media, which not only gives oxygen to all that I’ve presented visually thus far, but which also fuels the Alt-Wrong’s pervasive feeling of targeted persecution, as well:

Um, Genius? No, it’s not. First, Free Speech protection does NOT apply to private companies, especially given that when you willingly signed up for their service, you did so, with the full knowledge that there was a clearly defined Code of Conduct you were expected to follow, and that, without exception. That fact that you get “jailed” for your commentary, only proves that you’re either an idiot, or more likely, an irrelevant demagogue, but then again, I repeat myself.

Or, as is my forte, present yet another example to back up my avowal:

For contextual background, this now D-list actor made his offensively dense comment on the Jimmy Kimmel show, in relation to being asked a question regarding his attendance at Trump’s inauguration in 2016, saying that; “You’ve got to be careful around here. You’re going to get beat up if you don’t believe what everybody believes. This is like 30s Germany,”

A comparison that other than being mindbogglingly stupid, also perfectly illustrates why Allen’s career was centered on playing a caricature of himself on TV for nine seasons as the star of “Last Man Standing” whose premise was thus:

“Mike Baxter is a happily married father of three daughters who finds himself the odd man out as he tries to maintain his manliness in a home surrounded by women. Mike tries to escape all the female drama at home in the warm, manly embrace of his job at the Outdoor Man store, a sporting goods emporium where he is marketing director. He also revels in his Outdoor Man vlog, which he uses as a pulpit for his opinions, which often have nothing to do with the store’s merchandise. When he’s supposed to be selling mountain bikes or kayaks, he somehow ends up spouting off about the environment, health care, international politics or any other topic occupying his mind.”

Damn. If that doesn’t scream “Comedy Gold”, I don’t know what does. As you’d expect, given its vile idiocy regarding women, societal issues, and politics, the show such as it was, played well with the type of people that finds Tucker Carlson smart, and Tim Allen still culturally relevant.

To be fair, I did attempt to watch this streaming sludge on a handful of occasions, but had to relent doing so, when it became obvious that if I truly wanted to laugh at a conservative making a jackass of himself on my TV and couldn’t find the far superior “All in the Family” playing somewhere, all I need do, was tune in to whatever late-night show was desperate enough to book Allen as a guest.

And if you have any doubts about my take, here’s a critique of the series, courtesy of the right-wing journal, the Imaginative Conservative: “Finally, we have a hero who hunts, fishes, watches sports, and occasionally drives a tank.”

Feel free to make up your own jokes here, because as I was attempting to do so, I had to keep in mind that Allen also once opined in 2013 that he should be allowed to use the “n-word”, stating that. “If I have no intent, if I show no intent, if I clearly am not a racist, then how can ‘n****r’ be bad coming out of my mouth?

Concerning this clueless query, I have, (as many of you must) more than a few opinions as to just “why” uttering such an abominable slur is, as Allen put it; “bad”, but I see no reason to issue them, as its sadly obvious that one of the cherished icons of my youth, AKA; “Buzz Lightyear”, was voiced by a repulsive caricature of my grandfather, and that in and of itself, just kills me.

On the upside though, my grandfather was never the unwilling subject of a photo like this:

The circumstantial framework: In October of 1978, October 2nd, to be exact-Tim Allen was arrested in the Kalamazoo/Battle Creek International Airport, after being caught with 650 grams, which is roughly, 1.4 pounds of cocaine.

At the time, Allen faced a life sentence for the 42K payout he had been expecting, but since he opted to provide the names of other dealers in exchange for a far less repressive verdict, it allowed him the opportune advantage of being sentenced in a federal court rather than a state court, which in essence, nullified the life sentence he would have faced, resulting in his ultimately only serving two years and four months instead, for his crime.

However, Allen’s bid to gain his freedom, lead to the successful indictment of no less than twenty people involved with the drug trade in Michigan, as well as the conviction of four major drug dealers to boot, none of whom I would suspect, ever went on to become fans of his comedic success. But let’s not forget, this former drug trafficker and spinelessly self-serving snitch, is going to lecture us all, on what’s wrong with society in general.

However, given Spring’s previously stated annoyance at Tim Allen not being cast as the primary voice talent in the “Lightyear” movie, I’m sure he’d be first in line to buy a ticket for any Toy Story reboot, that granted Allen the pleasure of tweaking its established character development, in order to bring it into accordance with his currently asinine political POV:

If not apparent to all who are reading this, I’m clearly making a blatantly absurd observation, but the only thing keeping my tasteless joke from becoming a concreted reality in the future, is our collective ability to cauterize the illness of conservatism, at its key source.

Fortunately for us as a whole, when it comes to “celebrity” representations of its party and the dissemination of its opinions, the best that the Alt-Wrong can ever muster up, are those of indisputable wash-ups. I mean, does the AW truly think that any significant cultural influence will ever be imparted by the likes of Kristy Swanson, Chuck Woolery, Stacey Dash, Antonio Sabato Jr, Randy Quaid, Kevin Sorbo, Jon Voight, Roseanne Barr, Scott Baio, Dean Cain, Kirstie Alley, Kid Rock, Ted Nugent, and as proposed, Tim Allen?

The only thing that these D-listers have to offer a society that they so openly despise, and the lowest of IQ-bereft MAGAt morons who listen to them, is the inadvertent lesson of what can happen when a person of exceedingly limited talent, believes their agent’s hype that they’re an irreplaceable icon.

For most of us actually functioning humans, if our personal ideology was being constantly mocked, disregarded, or questioned, there would come a point where we would be forced, whether we liked it or not, to engage in a moment of in-depth self-reflection and reassess what we really believe. But Conservatives, for all intents and purposes, are seemingly immune to this most rational aspect of the human condition.

Allen is no victim, and neither is the inexorable political movement that he (and Spring) so willingly support, because for a guy who cries foul on every media platform whose usage has never been denied him, concerning a right that he already possesses, and applies as easily as he whines, the irony of his party’s attempts to shut it down for the ones that they so passionately disagree with, is still quite the stunner.

And as we’ve all seen from Spring’s ever-increasing pile of publicly posted hypocrisy, when the Alt-Wrong gets called out for such disingenuousness, they employ one of three well-worn gambits: they either double down on their falsehoods, project or deflect their own fallacious foibles as their “evidence”, or imply that definitive threats are in the mode of current formulation, be they physical, or allegoric.

And apparently, picking an appropriate photo to succinctly illustrate the topic at hand, is also seemingly difficult, unless the descriptive of “Red November”, is to assist in the pre-setting for the moment of the fashionable perp walk that Trump will hopefully be forced to do, when the numerous indictments and lawsuits currently raining down upon him, turn into multiple convictions, financial losses, and the annihilation of his public persona:

Once again, the backstory as it is known: After a surprise FBI raid on the Mar-a-Lago resort owned by ex-American president Donald J. Trump, produced a trove of classified documents, allegedly taken by same said twice-impeached, thrice-married, and forever-disgraced, mango man-child, John Rich, a country music singer and self-described humanitarian, found himself incensed beyond the pale.

In response to this perfectly justified action, Rich tweeted out the following jackassery:

Correct me if I’m wrong here, but if the FBI raided my 14K-gilded cesspool that masquerades as my home, and found enough incriminating evidence to solidly allege that I broke no less than three federal laws relating to the Espionage Act of 1912, [Specifically;18 USC 793, 2071 and 1519] I don’t think I’d appreciate a mildly threatening “Thank-you” note from one of my most vocal supporters being addressed to them on my unasked-for-behalf, as a rule.

I get that you think that you’re helping out your treasonous toddler, Johnny-boy, but trust me- you’re really not, for if anything, the FBI tends to lack a definable sense of humor, when it comes to the concern of transparently veiled threats.

First, the only thing that’s being poured on your so-called “Freedom Fire” is the ice-cold dousing water of Reality, which in the end, is only going to result in your cravenly cult leader shivering alone in a prison cell, and second, only 74M people voted for Trump, so I have no idea where you found those additional 7M, unless you’re counting all the extras he had to hire, in order to populate the supposedly diverse background and PR prop, located just behind his rally podium.

Second, if the intellectual capacity of said 74M has been measured correctly, and given the empirical data, I can only believe that it has, then it seems to be that the case can be made that the majority of them could be quite easily distracted from their task, be it voting or attempting an insurrection, by either waving a particularly shiny set of keys in their faces, or informing them that an African-American was openly doing White people stuff without prior permission.

But Rich’s “Proud to Be a Dimwitted Deplorable” shtick, was just warming up:

Good questions all, or they would be, if Rich’s assessment wasn’t being given from a position of asinine absurdity, that is. Shockingly, these who are known for routinely singing about American values, generally tend to understand the difference between being a patriot in regards to a country, versus being a pawn in regards to a cravenly c**t, such as Rich seemingly is.

And as for his comment that; “The country music industry is out of touch with the audience”, maybe it’s not so much that, as their audience being out of touch with both reality and their formerly cherished set of integral values. Because its fairly obvious that Rich sure the hell is.

Sigh… I’m not entirely sure where Rich learned American History, but I get the feeling that most of his fellow students in said class, took a short bus to get there. Aside from the bumper sticker dogma displayed throughout it, Rich’s narrative is also rife with a lack of context, to boot.

As is expected, the glorification of combat and the canonization of its practitioners, is at the forefront, without any construct of just why America was involved in the skirmish to begin with- that being, we were fighting an enemy that shared more in common with Rich’s ideology, than any facet of the one he attempts to impugn with his lack of credible intellectualism.

To note, there was no way in hell that Japan would ever have been able to conquer America on its own, and the only way Germany might have had a chance, is if they had managed to develop their nuclear weapon capability before we so fortunately (?) did. And Rich’s deliberate side-step of the fact that America was fighting to maintain its status a country that was for the primary benefit of White males only at the time, is a nice touch as well.

“Fierce Patriotism” didn’t win the war- superior weapon development, established American infrastructure, rugged doggedness, and the ability to make the other guy die for his country rather than his making us doing the same, is what carried it over the lune in the end.

And may I point out the clueless hypocrisy of a man who has never served, drawing parallels between esteemed military commanders, and America’s resident wannabe Mussolini, who praised dictators, saluted enemy generals, lauded NAZI’s as “fine people”, paid his way out of serving during the era of the Draft, and while incompetently serving as our Commander in Chief, regularly slandered our military, mocked our POW’s, as well as insulting a war widow and a Gold Star family.

Topping all of that abominable behavior off, Rich’s mango-man-crush, after leaving the office in disgrace then allegedly stole classified documents, several of which it can be assumed after they were discovered to be missing, found their way into the hands of whomever was willing to pay top dollar for them. But please, Johnny-boy, lecture us all some more on the topic of “leadership”, if you would be so kind.

Regarding Rich’s comment about how we’d all “be speaking German”, if not for the intervention of documented xenophobes, it would probably pain him to know that pre-WW2, the most commonly spoken formal language in America was… wait for it… GERMAN, so I can only guess that better late than never, was the primary theorem of the day.

But given the fact that Spanish is now the language that holds that title, I can only assume that Rich’s flawed sense of jingoism must be working overtime on plans to justifiably invade Mexico, if only to stop the spread of its influence upon the culture in whose defense, he’s more than willing to light a few Freedom Fires for.

Most likely at 3AM. On only the best of selectively chosen front lawns, I’m sure. Say what you will about Spring, (and I hope you will) but he definitely knows how to dredge only the finest of role models from the allegoric bottom of the barrel, does he not?

To list, there’s his fascist mango-man-crush, a gaggle of washed-up celebutards, a few disingenuous politicos, and the ultimate model on which all sociopaths are based, the ever-so-mythical “God” whose teachings Spring references, but never follows, even as he misinterprets them for his own advantage, and not God’s, as it has been commanded for him to do so.

Adding to Spring’s deplorable tabulation of the non-accomplished, the non-existent, and the non-credible, is the Alt-Wrong’s newest poster-boy of the moment, Elon Musk- an assumed intellectual thief, a confirmed industrialist billionaire, a possibly in the very near future fictionalized Bond villain, and the nest example to use for effectively settling the ongoing debate as to whether or not, abortion needs to be made far more accessible.

Musk, whose relatively recent acquisition of social media platform Twitter, helped to show exactly just where all the racists in your family who weren’t invited to Thanksgiving dinner, were hanging out instead, is considered quite the firebrand these days, despite having skin thinner than that of an onion, and the interpersonal skills of an intellectually-challenged turnip.

Lest ye forgot, let me just remind you of that moment when Musk, who’s personal wealth is estimated to be over 300B, once promised (ironically via a “tweet”) to use his vast financial resources, to aid in ending world hunger, but only if he were presented with a cohesive plan to do so:

In response to Musk’s generous offer, David Beasley, the UN food program director, tweeted a link to a 1,000-word “executive summary.” doing just that, per Musk’s reasonable request:
It laid out in detail, just how the UN could and would, utilize an allocation of $6.6B to assist in the feeding of more than 40M people across a span of 43 countries, a majority of whom, are currently on “the brink of famine”, according to the data provided by Beasley.

Musk then requested the publishing of WFP’s current and proposed spending in detail, a resource of information spanning ten years, that was already openly accessible on WFP’s website, so that the general public could see exactly where the money would go. Musk for his part, has not as of yet, replied to Beasley’s tweet about WFP’s financial statements, nor has he responded in concern to said plan, either.

Instead, Musk ever the noble humanitarian, decided to spend nearly 8X as much buying Twitter, for reasons that I’m sure had nothing to do with the fact that after reneging on his promise to help the world entire, the users of said platform, lit him up like a Christmas tree with their well-deserved targeted mockery.

Interestingly, it was reported that Musk in February of 2022, donated 5M shares of Tesla Inc stock. [worth 5.7B] in late 2021, although at this time, no charity (or WFP for that matter) has come publicly forward claiming to be the recipient of such a generous gift. Before we give Musk any credit though, I’d also note that within the same time period of said bestowment, he also sold off 16B worth of Tesla stock as well, thereby leading to an alleged 4.6B tax break.

But as it always is with the self-declared saviors of Mankind, Musk sees that which is obvious to the rest of us, somewhat quite differently. Despite the PR blow-back for his cravenly act of reneging on his promise to help WFP, Musk tweeted his claim that his sole purpose for buying Twitter was not, as some had surmised; “to make more money. I did it to try to help humanity, whom I love“.

Unless of course, that “love” demands any form of pre-promised financial assistance that could actually provide it with the food it so desperately needs to survive. He added to his declaration by adding in that; Twitter must be “warm and welcoming for all”, [like a full stomach, perhaps?] and that all he truly wanted, was for “civilization to have a common digital town square“, as well.

Never mind the fact that Musk, who is attempting to rebrand himself as civil discourse’s last great hope, once personally canceled an order for a custom TESLA, after its originator, a blogger and venture capitalist named Stewart Alsop, wrote an open letter to Musk disparaging what he thought was a badly run presentation event featuring the Tesla Motors Model X.

Yup…Musk just wants all of us to get along in the new online Utopia he’s currently in the middle of reshaping, hence the reason why he immediately gutted Twitter’s moderation team, which even on the best of its collective days, was barely holding the skein of decorum together.

Despite this glaring hypocrisy, Conservatives as to be expected, cheered Musk’s purchase of Twitter as nothing less than a flawless victory for the protection of Free Speech, and continue to do so, despite the fact that private corporations are in no way, legally bound to the concept of such. A reality that you would think that such staunch defenders of the Constitution would already know and respect, but here we find ourselves, nonetheless.

And even though at the time of this writing, Mush has single-handedly decimated its workforce, lost half its advertisers, and managed to allow an influx of hate speech at a rate not seen since Trump initially weaponized it, to serve as his version of the NAZI’s *RVMP, Musk’s takeover is shockingly (?) becoming widely regarded as being, even at its best, an essentially Pyrrhic accomplishment.
*[Reichsministerium für Volksaufklärung und Propaganda]

Musk’s ever-escalating fall from grace, due in large part to his childish aggrandizement of petty feuds with those who validly criticize Musk’s exceedingly schizophrenic so-called management style, has only widened the chasm of mistrust between him and Twitter’s once rock-solid base of high-profile accounts as well, a shift in site-drawing-power demographics, that he quite literally, can’t afford to lose.

Whereas Spring and the others of his ignorant ilk are concerned though, such detriments are perfectly acceptable, because in their warped worldview, Musk is their stalwart conquistador of the Conservative movement, and as we’ve seen from their incessant gushing online, they also believe that he is singlehandedly, if not doggedly, eradicating all that is “woke” from Twitter.

But what, pray tell, is the definition of “woke”, exactly? Well according to Spring, it’s this:

Definition of Irony: ”The use of words to express something other than and especially the opposite of the literal meaning”, and man oh man, does Spring ever deliver on that, does he not? Especially when we all recall how he continually blames the unjust ills of society on the LGBTQ Community, immigrants, African-American athletes, and non-Christians.

In Spring’s world, “woke” can best be translated as the most irksome of social elements that he finds truly vexing. You know, things such as logic-based points of view, positive representations of diverse lifestyles, verified intellect, the fomentation of accurate scientific knowledge, and the intolerance of hateful, bigoted, misogynistic, and racist language designed to harass, intimidate, and divide?

And just don’t take my word for it, for Musk himself tweeted as much, and Spring, ever the reliable regurgitating parrot, happily shared it with his Klan. Oops… that should have read “clan”, but you say “tomato”, I say “tomato” Either one works:

For those of you keeping track, this declaration regarding people being “armored in false virtue” was brought to us all, by a walking hypocritical representation of narcissistic personality disorder, who, after offering to assist the world towards achieving its own betterment, decided instead, to buy a new toy that he could deliberately break without consequence, because it had once dared to be mean to him.

And mind you that he did so, without even having the courage to tweet the lamest of excuses as to why he pulled such an inhumane stunt to begin with. Despite this cravenness, or maybe because of it, as Time marches on, the truth behind his machinations, become fairly crystalline to us all, save for those that practice Spring’s brand of Christian conservatism, of course.

I’d like to take this time to point out that Conservatives across the board aren’t mad at Musk for refusing to use his vast wealth to aid the mankind that he claims to love, which isn’t all that surprising, when you take into account that they’re also not mad at Trump for the reasons you’d expect, such as his lies, adultery, sexual perversion or his acts of alleged Treason.

No, they’re upset that his toxicity may have cost them the power advantage that they so desperately crave, which is concurrently, the very same reason why they’ve been willing to blatantly overlook Herschel Walker’s parallel acts of close to the same. At this point, the only way that Musk would incur the wrath of the GQP faithful, would be if he actually developed bath a working conscience, if not a functional personality that could pass for human.

And as a self-declared Christian, you would think that Spring would be at least somewhat offended that Musk not only revoked his offer, but also ignores the lesson notated in  Isaiah 58:7: “Share your food with the hungry, and give shelter to the homeless. Give clothes to those who need them, and do not hide from relatives who need your help.”.

There’s also this gem, found in Isaiah 58:10: “If you give some of your own food to [feed] those who are hungry and to satisfy [the needs of] those who are humble, then your light will rise in the dark, and your darkness will become as bright as the noonday sun.”

But for my money, I think that the best passage that could be attributed as relating directly as to what Musk should aspire to be, would be drawn from Ezekiel 18:7: “He is a merciful creditor, not keeping the items given as security by poor debtors. He does not rob the poor but instead gives food to the hungry and provides clothes for the needy.

But such character flaws are mere trivialities for Spring, who like most Conservatives these days, places unquestioning faith in the erroneous construct that if a person is financially successful beyond the pale of what once was considered to be normal, then the varying whims of that person, must be adhered to as if they were the Holy Gospels themselves, because they have the qualifications to back them up:

Oh, did I refer to their inane notions as “qualifications”? I meant to say “undue economic influence”, instead. My sincerest apologies, all around. It must be nice to have the luxury of having no political, cultural, statistical, or technical background, while you demand action concerning topics that have no standing in either your purview, or your range of experiences.

Check out the headlines for context, if you would: Musk isn’t defined as being an “innovator” for his involvement with the electric car industry, nor is he pictured as a “philanthropist” either, although from the information detailed above, it’s pretty obvious why he isn’t. Nope, he’s the “World’s Richest Man”, and that’s all you need know, in relation as to why he can demand the ludicrous, as if he were America’s de facto Emperor.

Musk may have more money than God himself, but it can’t masquerade the reality that he also lacks, and quite evidently so, any indication of possessing the merest measure of a political skillset.

In all due fairness, I as well, may also have quite the dearth of knowledge in concern to same said arena, but just speaking off the top of my head, I’d assume that any individual who’s pushing for a serious investigation to be undertaken, regardless of who they may be, would need at least some sizeable degree of such, as well as proof of their claims.

That is, if they wanted to successfully assume an air of verified credibility among their peers, or even the people that they deride as mere commoners. Yet, despite having ZERO prosecutorial experience, and an allegedly unethical background based on profiting off others innovations, Musk honestly believes that he can just haughtily snap his fingers, and the Dogs of War will come a-running his way, and do his narcissistic bidding.

This seems to be a common denominator for Spring- the veneration of wannabe strongmen entrenched within positions of power and supreme authority that they neither earned, deserve, or know how to selflessly implement, for the betterment of others

And as I’m splitting a few metaphorical hairs already, I find it interesting that Spring can seemingly rail for hours about America’s indigent utilizing social aid programs, while in tandem, turning a blind eye to the practice of corporate welfare, which in realty affects him, and his ever-sealed coin-purse, far more personally.

Being rich, shouldn’t give you any more additional power over anyone else on this planet, save for getting the best takes in restaurants, front-row concert tickets, a room full of custom-made lightsabers, and maybe unfettered access to a few super-models’ personal phone numbers, because let’s face it, dating is hard, when you’ve got to take a private jet with you everywhere you go.

So, to recap: Spring’s paying (literally) for tax breaks directly benefiting a billionaire who’s refused to follow-through on his promise to feed the hungry of the world, is more than acceptable, but feeding said starving and disadvantaged individuals for a lesser cost, using tax revenue, is not.

Well then, I guess us overly “woke” commie-pinko-tree-hugging-soy-chugging-heathen can feel free to go straight to allegorical hell, because he’s a Christian don’t you know, and therefore, far more moral than any of us will ever be. Referencing such, I’d like to point out to Spring, that his alleged Savior and Father of All, was himself, so him-damned “woke”, that the Romans specifically made him into a Catholic wall decoration, because of it.

Spring overall, doesn’t believe in handouts, which I can understand, as I feel that at times, people do occasionally need to figure out the solution to an issue on their own. A crucible of concern hardens the soul, and all that. But then again, Spring also doesn’t seem to place much stock in hand-ups either, and that’s where we find ourselves parting ways, yet again.

But as I slowly shut-down this three-part story arc regarding Spring, I’d like to go out on a note that for me at least, nails his inherent hypocrisy to the floor, and it involves a tangent that I’m sure none of you saw coming. Much like Spring’s fixation with drag queens, he’s got quite the equal hate-on for the issue of forgiving the burden of untenable student debt, despite the edicts to be found within his never-opened copy of the Bible.

For instance, Deuteronomy 15:1-2, commands that; “At the end of every seven years, you shall grant a release. And this is the manner of the release: every creditor shall release what he has lent to his neighbor. He shall not exact it of his neighbor, his brother, because the Lord’s release has been proclaimed.”  Matthew 6:12, says; “And forgive us our debts, as we also have forgiven our debtors.”

The disciple Paul goes one step further, and takes on additional burden via Philemon 1:18, by asserting; “But if he has wronged you in any way or owes you anything, charge that to my account.” Spring apparently, missed those sections, although I don’t know if his oversight was due to poor comprehension, or seemingly poor character.

But to be fair, it’s not like he obsesses over it that much:

Well okay, maybe he does a little bit, but in his very limited defense, if he’s preoccupied online harping about a non-issue that don’t affect him one iota, then there’s less of a chance that he’ll be composing any more of that god-awful poetry of his, that I presented to you the last time that we all gathered here.

As the saying goes; “Sometimes you have to take the Bitter with the Sweet.“, and as Spring’s mythical Lord knits far too well, Spring is all about being the best at being bitter, even when the situation at hand, doesn’t affect his life at all:

Two things I’d like to call attention to, in regards to these two memes; to begin, I’m fairly confident that Spring has no idea what character is being misrepresented in the first, and as to the second, one’s intelligence and being trapped within a rigged payments system has absolutely no correlation with each other.

I’d also like to assert that whatever degree titular pothead Jeff Spicoli may feel that he’s co-earned via his taxes being redirected to ease a huge problem of ecnomids, it obviously wasn’t one concerning the English language, due to the fact that whomever created this tripe, forgot to add a question mark at the end of Spicoli’s asinine query.

Nevertheless, Spring’s attack on the learned, does reveal a blatant contempt for those who allegedly unlike him, chose to better either themselves or their situation, by reaping the benefits of a higher education, and it’s an odious card that he likes to play whenever possible:

Starting with the first post, let us now engage in shredding this hypocritical hysteria, into a pile of failed Conservative talking points, if only to force-feed them to Spring’s selective amnesia.  If I read this correctly, Spring takes great offense at persons not honoring their financial agreements, and feels that they shouldn’t be allocated any form of grace, for doing so. 

Interesting…  I have to wonder then, how Spring truly feels about his mango-man-child defaulting on loans connected directly to Trump Tower in Chicago, and its unfortunate creditors who found themselves forced to forgive the $287 million in debt that Trump owed, and has as of yet, to pay so much as a dime back, to honor his agreements that he made supposedly in good faith.

And the reason why I have to “wonder” this, is because Spring has yet to say or post anything in regard to Trump’s long (and well-documented) history of taking the money, and then running for the allegoric hills. As it stands, it’s been estimated that Trump and his assorted companies, owe an estimated $1.3B, but I can only assume that Spring never got that memo.

Nr has our ever so faux offended dimwitted demagogue ever mentioned the fact that several Republican U.S. congressional representative, such as Ralph Norman, Marjorie Taylor Greene, Gregory Pence, Vern Buchanan, Kevin Hern, Roger Williams, Mike Kelly, Vicki Hartzler, and Carol Miller, all had their PPP loans forgiven outright, despite having the financial wherewithal to pay them back in full.

As I try to play Devil’s Advocate on occasion, I’d like to think that maybe this omission isn’t a case of Spring exercising his hypocrisy yet again, considering how many of the people listed above have come out against debt relief, but maybe it’s because he hasn’t found the “Right” meme to express his frustration at this act of arrogant disingenuousness yet.

One can only hope.

Moving on to our second fillet of the day, Spring employs a wide array of ideological tropes here, and yet somehow, fails to leave a scratch. This could be in part to the reality that his “joke” isn’t even remotely funny, but I feel that its weakness is that once again, he has no f**king idea what he’s babbling about.

On average, it takes about two decades for your typical student loan recipient, to pay off their loan debt, with higher echelon debtors, sometimes taking almost five times as long to do so. In addendum, 21% of borrowers see their total debt balance increase in the first 5 years of their loan, due to what should be, (in a moral world) considered an unethical practice, which keeps said debtors trapped in a cycle of paying on their interest, rather than their principal debt.

Nonetheless, Spring, ever the pragmatist, has definitive solutions to this conundrum, and they’re so simple, that the reality of them never having been applied before to the situation, is quite amazing:

Damn, is that some serious out of the box thinking going on there, or what? Can you imagine the difference that could have occurred, if only such sage advice had been forcibly implemented into the pool of common good, decades ago? That would have owned those stinking Libs like nobody’s business, let me tell you.

So, if it’s unfair for taxpayers to pay for “what you want”, then why is it okay for same said taxpayers to foot the bill for the taxation shortfall of corporate welfare, and the personal vanity projects of billionaires, such as sports stadiums and spaceships that accomplish nothing of scientific value, save for correctly measuring the size of their respectively oversized egos?

However, it’s concerning the second posting where Soring’s inanity truly shines in its full glory, as I would love to know just what particulars, pray tell, would Jimmy Ray here, constitute as a “worthless degree”? We’ve already seen with our own eyes that he doesn’t seemingly believe in science, economic statistics, equally-dispersed civil rights, or anything related to cultural pursuits, so what’s really left to explore?

Definitely not anything that Spring would find worth supporting, that’s for sure, and as you may have already surmised, he has a reason readily available as to why that is:

For the record, there’s a huge chasm in between the right to have an abortion, and the pursuit of a purposefully overpriced education, but as Spring is a jackass, such subtleties are far beyond the reach of his limited intellectual grasp. Granted, his said grip on reality may be lacking, but his adeptness at mixing the disparate together to prop up his unwarranted smugness, is definitely on point.

As to the second post of Spring’s, inferring that paying off one’s non-decreasing incurred debt can be accomplished via jobs that thanks to the GQP consistently fighting wage increases, literally keeps the working class treading allegoric water, just above the official poverty line?

Well, Spring’s not going to let a triviality such as verified economic data regarding a social topic and governmental procedure that he’s done zero research on, prevent him from finding a convenient scapegoat for an issue that as noted previously, doesn’t affect him at all.

These moronic memes aside, I knew that rest assured, that Spring, ever the picture of overly arrogant density, was just warming up his asinine pitching of intellectually void condescension, and he did not disappoint me in regards to my dead-on assessment, by pulling in an equally cerebral powerhouse “celebrity” who I referenced earlier in this screed, as ideological backup:

If I may let me offer all my Conservative stalkers out there a small piece of politically astute advice; if you’re going to choose a spokesman, nay a sociopolitical champion, perhaps the screening process that you use, should demand stronger qualifications than an ability to swing a plastic sword and fight low-budget CGI monsters.

Just some gratis practical wisdom, from me to you.

Sorbo, who’s best known these days for whining on conservative media that he, like Tim Allen, has been “blacklisted” in Hollywood due to his political beliefs, and not his one-note acting style, may actually be on to something in concern to useless digress, as his double major in marketing and advertising awarded by Minnesota State University Moorhead, sure came in handy when in order to pay his tuition, he was forced to work as a model for print and television advertising.

And given the lack of notably visible acting roles he’s had since his 90’s TV show Hercules spawned a far more successful spin-off, [AKA: “Xena: Warrior Princess”] it’s a sure bet that he hasn’t really used either degree to any discernible advantage since he received them. But please, my D-lister guy who “stars” in movies that go directly to the discount DVD bins at Walmart, give us your deepest of thoughts regarding educational relevance.

I will admit however begrudgingly, that I do like Sorbo’s joke, because it’s ironically funny. While it’s true that 40% of commercial plastics are used only once, I could say that in regards to Sorbo’s so-called body of work, at least 95% of his artistic endeavors share the same set of statistics, and are then relegated to either being re gifted, or donated to his permanent movie archive, which fortuitously, also doubles as the aforementioned discount DVD bins at Walmart.

Spring’s informational reliance on the washed-up and the irrelevant is both amusing, and somewhat unsettling, given the fact that while he’ll swallow anything that these morons regurgitate, he’ll heap scorn upon those who are actually in the know of things, and to be more accurate, far more successful and educated in how the world works, than he’ll ever be.

And if Spring sees an opportunity for a cheap shot at the same, rest assured, he’ll take it:

Wow. Just…  wow. I’ve heard of beating a dead horse into dust as an allegorical construct, but I had no idea that you could actually formulate it into an actual reality, such as Spring so often does. For sanity’s sake, I’m not going to rehash AOC’s previously listed educational merits, but rest assured, I’d call dollars to doughnuts, that they beat Spring’s, without breaking a sweat.

I’m not going to say I’m impressed by Spring’s misogyny, but I also can’t deny his inherent skillset in displaying it, either. We get it, Jimmy Ray- the pretty girl is far smarter and more successful than you, and even worse, better regarded as well, but you really need to move past that, as I’m fairly confident that you can’t give me one credible reason for your dislike of her, save for the fact she’s a Liberal, and a strongly opinionated woman.

However, Spring, ever the asinine faux academic, believes that he knows best, and despite the obvious contradictions imposed upon his erroneous delusion by Reality, still felt the need to display even more of his smugly obsequious arrogance, by regurgitating an ideological talking point he doesn’t understand to begin with:

Quick question, if I may? Please raise your hands if any of your hard-earned money has ever been taken by “force”, and then unjustly used to pay back someone else’s debt. Anyone? Anyone at all? Well, that seems weird… it’s almost as if Sporing has bever heard of the concept of tax revenue, which after being collected, is gehen utilized to pay for all sorts of things, ranging from crucial infrastructure, to filling the aforementioned tax void created by the greed of the 1%

And as for the “evil people’ that Spring so adamantly fears, I can only assume that he’s referring to the persons who now having been relieved of their blatantly rigged and unethical debt, will find themselves contributing to not only the national economy, but our national strength as well, due to having their education being a benefit for all, and not a burden, as our knuckle-dragging demagogue so wrongly like to infer.

However, I really can’t assign singular blame to Spring for brainlessly disseminating this kind of puerility, because to be fair, it’s not like he’s the craftsman of the idea to begin with. As it’s been noted, Spring is no more than a hateful regurgitating partisan parrot, and as such, he’s going to take his cues from those that shake his cage, even if it’s only to keep him distracted from their long game:  

Ah yes… it’s the educated “Elites” that we really need to worry about, says Jim (“I covered up a collegiate sex-scandal”) Jordan, the spineless congressman whose innate ability to simultaneously lick both the boots and balls of the one-percent, is quickly becoming legend among his fellow GQP toadies, if not providing the fuel for their collective jealous envy.

Let’s cut the bullspit here- what Jordan fears most, isn’t the tax burden America may face in relation to forgiving educational debt, it’s a learned populace that once made capable of critical thinking, won’t buy the sh**-soap that he sells, 24/7. That’s it, in a nutshell.

Isn’t it interesting though, that when it comes to underwriting war and making billionaires even more monetarily comfortable, the GQP can’t cut the allegoric checks fast enough, but if it’s dare suggested that the poor and wiring class need a comparable financial bulwark, then holy dead guy nailed to a cross, you might have as well walked into a Hobby Lobby, and said “Happy Holidays” instead of “Merry Christmas”, like a true American is supposed to do.

As a counter-point to Jordan’s commentary of “Why should a…”, Ill retort with this- first, why does every GQP bought-and-paid-for slimeball, automatically issue the pathetic slur that the people suffering under the crippling weight of inescapable debt, are endowed with useless degrees? I for one, would rather be trapped in an elevator with a philosophy major, then find myself doing the same with a morally rudderless creep, who, deliberately allowed the college athletes under his purview, to be openly, and repeatedly, sexually victimized.

I do have a question for “Gym” Jordan though, and I feel that it’s relevant, so here goes: why should my taxes pay for the unjustified salary of a cravenly toady who has done absolutely nothing of any note, to help the people he’s supposed to ethically represent? A conversation for another time I’d suggest, but I already know that Jordan like Spring, prefers to duck the tough questions when they find themselves cornered by their own flawed hubris.

Excessive pride, or in Spring’s case the delusional faith that he alone is right, and it’s the rest of the world that’s wrong, is not an aspect of character that’s unique to Spring alone, mind you, it is, for all intents and purposes, a founding cornerstone of Conservatism’s condescending sense of moral superiority, which as we’ve seen over the years, is more transparent than window glass, and as fragile as a cracked egg.

And nowhere is this opinion of mine put to the test better, if not harder, than when same said Neo-cons think that they’re the ones getting the short end of the non-existent stick. Hilariously though, their solution for getting out of a situation that was wholly imaginary to begin with, can also be quite the delight to observe from a distance, especially when the resolution to be enacted, is just as absurd:

Reading this, I’m sure that you almost immediately caught the same financial discrepancy that I did, and it centers on the actual cost of the student loan forgiveness program that’s being currently proposed by the Biden administration. As seen above, one of Spring’s unverified memes claims that the eventual cost of its implementation would be around $900B, but now, it’s found itself reduced to “only” 3.9B?

As you might surmise, this is not the case at all, for as usual, Spring found himself with his wires crossed, regarding a topic that he didn’t bother to research. A state of affairs that with Spring, seems far more of an inherent character trait, than an occasional deviation.

What Spring has misrepresented here, is the decision by the Department of Education to cancel nearly $4B worth of federal student loans for 208,000 borrowers who were allegedly defrauded by the for-profit institution, known as the ITT Technical Institute, which closed its allegoric doors in 2016, after nearly five decades of operation.

This decision, following multiple (and verified) state and federal investigations into ITT’s supposedly aggressive recruiting and predatory loan practices, came after years of complaints concerning the institution’s scores of defaults on said educational loans, misrepresentation of job placement success, and the overall ethics of their business practices.

And while the principled lapses of the ITT organization are applicable to the overall issue of student loan forgiveness, its relevance is only as a footnote at best, and not as an ongoing facet of the insidious plot that Spring has constructed within the vacuous space known as his head.

That is of course, unless you consider the offering of Bachelor of Science degrees in Information Systems and Cybersecurity, Software Development, Electrical Engineering Technology, Electrical Engineering and Communications Technology, and Project Management and Administration, as “Leftist Communist Baloney”.

If anything, overcharging the unwary and deliberately screwing them over for unfettered profit while failing to deliver on the numerous promises you made them, seems more in line with how the Conservative movement approaches almost every real-life situation, but for the sake of both my sanity and yours, I’ll digress for now.

However, let us not lose sight of just who the “real” victim of ITT’s unscrupulousness is here, and that would be Spring himself, and to a far greater extent, the $3.9B of “his” money, that was pilfered by those running this shell game. Granted, I could argue that Spring’s “investment” was no more or no less than the cost he already pays to support the one-percent not paying their fair share, but why ruin a good tale of unfounded victimization?

As I opined earlier within this screed; “Spring overall, doesn’t believe in handouts”, but it’s also fairly obvious that as a self-declared Christian, he doesn’t seemingly place much stock in the concept of offering a charitable hand-up to the ill-treated, either.

In essence, Spring strikes me as the type of guy who if he had found himself on the Titanic, not only would have donned a dress in order to save only himself, he would have commandeered the charge of a nearly-empty lifeboat as well, and then demanded that his fellow passengers remove themselves from it, for the sake of his personal legroom.

Despite all this though, I still feel that we should take a serious look at Spring’s idea for rectifying what he considers to be the proliferation of “Wokeism” in American schools, Granted, back in my school days, it was called “teaching actual American History, Science, and Civics”, but why quibble over petty semantics, when we can all collectively discover just how deep Spring’s rabbit-hole of fetid density truly is?

Lest we have forgotten, Spring was born of a different age, where the free-range occurrences of lead poisoning were omnipresent in everything from the air that he breathed, to the water that he drank as a child, so maybe I shouldn’t besmirch the arrogantly uniformed harangues of a person that’s been so obviously ravaged by the effects of undiagnosed brain damage, just quite yet.

That being said, I do have to admit that the application of Archery as a literal defense against the alleged wokeness of the Liberal Arts, is truly a refreshingly original gambit worthy of praise, even if the financial backers of such, are the ones most directly responsible for the maintenance of the gun violence that plagues what was once considered to be, a relatively non-fatal environment.

Now, as I’ve never studied the craft of archery past watching the occasional Robin Hood movie, I’m not entirely sure how the launching of overly pointy sticks into stationary targets, counters the liberal agenda of presenting the world as it actually exists, but I’m sure that in Spring’s warped estimation, such nonsensical assumptions will eventually work themselves out, in all due time.

Just a personal insight, if I can offer such a thing. In my high-school days (1983-1987) I took the standard three R’s, and a bunch of elective classes, ranging from Humanities to Home Ec. And while I can still offer up a good party trick in the form of reciting Samuel Taylor Coleridge’s epic poem “Kubla Khan (Or, a vision in a dream. A Fragment)” almost word for word, it’s never been quite the deal-closer half as much as my recipe for four-cheese lasagna, has been.

Nevertheless, I’ve never found myself facing a critical situation where my inherent knowledge of Archery, has ever been a primary factor in realigning my world. Well, outside of defending my homestead from the occasional attack by an Apache war-party, that is. But let’s face it, who among us, hasn’t gone through something like that at least once?

What was that? Nobody has, since roughly 1887 or so? My apologies. But on the bright side, Spring can always depend on those classes that teach students the skills necessary to become a successful Pinsetter, Physiognomist, Bematist, Lamplighter, Ice Cutter, Switchboard Operator, Phrenologist, Telegraphist, or a Daguerreotypist, so at least he has that to hold on to

I’m sorry, did you just say that all of those jobs are now obsolete?

Well, I’m not going to be the one who tells him. He doesn’t seem to handle reality very well as a rule, and I really don’t want to see yet another one of his ignorant observations freaking out over that which is socially and culturally non-existent. And besides, it’s not like he truly thinks that a liberal-leaning education will have any kind of direct impact upon the world as we currently know it, am I right?

Of course, I am. How could I not be? After all, it’s not as if he’s got an abominably stupid meme just waiting in the wings to refute my opinion, because seriously… what would be the odds of that?

Dammit. To quote Captain America in “Avengers: Age of Ultron”;

So, to recap Spring’s inanity, if we don’t immediately introduce the teaching of archery into our public schools, our children will in due time, become Riot Girl stereotypes harassed by an as yet unnamed communistic army, because they were taught actual history, rather than the inherently false manufactured propaganda of the GQP.

Now that I’m aware of this, I’d suggest that if we’re going to have any chance avoiding this hellishly cartoonish dystopia that the ever-shrieking voices in Spring’s otherwise purposelessness brain have created, maybe we also ought to demand that castle-fortification, flintknapping, armoring, bronze-forging, leech-collecting, alchemy, and reading tea-leaves, should be in the curriculum, too.

One other thing that Spring may also want to consider adding to the public education prospectus, is the instructing of remaining steadfast to one’s openly stated convictions, regardless of the status quo regarding them. That is to say, you can’t be both pro-something and anti-something, in concern to the same thing, at the same time. But leave it to Spring, ever the nonconformist, to do just that:

I have to admit, even I like this absurdity. On the one hand, Spring is pushing for the promotion of Free Enterprise, because it allegedly helps human prosperity, but once such an entity hits a certain level of said affluence, it then becomes the enemy for Spring, if it doesn’t willingly redistribute the wealth it’s obtained, to the demographic that it originally profited from.

If I didn’t know better, I’d almost think that Spring was espousing that the lauded institutions of Harvard and Yale, should engage in some variant of Socialism. You know the left-wing economic philosophy that Spring despises whenever it’s applied to the disadvantaged, but is seemingly okay with, when the end recipients are billionaires?

Once again, Spring’s narrative that the working-class truck drivers and plumbers will bear the burden of Biden’s plan is laughable, if not highly inaccurate. Other than the fact that those two trades pay some of the highest wages, even in the corporation-ruled serf-land that is America, the tax drain that Soring and his fellow citizens face due to the 1% not paying their fair share, is far, far worse. 

But don’t ever tell Spring that, because in his heart, he knows what’s what, and who’s who, in his game of blame, and nobody is going to suggest otherwise. If it’s not the fault of the Left, then it’s the fault of his other go-to scapegoats: the poor, the non-Caucasian, the LGBTQ’, the non-Christian, agents of the Deep State, the Communists, or whomever FOX News told him to hate that hour.

Rest assured though, that regardless of whatever evidentiary proof is provided to Spring, the adversary he will deign as accountable for all the sins of unfettered Capitalism, is never to be the Rich, the Powerful, and most certainly, never the Conservative.

For Spring to admit to his partial complicity in carrying the proverbial torch for the political entity that has purposefully done more to tear this country asunder, then it has to restore it to its once former glory, would require a direct act of the God whom he does not truly represent, and given how he already sees the world entire, what would be the point of his doing so, anyways?

In his twisted mindscape, Spring sees enemies simply everywhere, regardless if his gaze falls upon our government, our popular culture, our entertainment, and I can only assume, under his own bed late at night- an area which I’m sure he triple-checks for the presence of errant drag queens who might want to read him a bedtime story. That is, when he’s not hiding in the closet, failing to deal with that same said obsession of his.

However, and despite all that, this is where it really gets kind of weird. As noted, Spring has made his stance regarding the forgiveness of student loan debt fairly clear, and notwithstanding the idiocy that underpins it, he does have the right to say what he says, and the right to believe what he wants to believe. And even with all my mocking concerning such, I would never dare suggest that he shouldn’t be able to.

And yet given his track record of posting contradictory opinions, I’m nit entirely sold on the concept that even Spring knows just what metaphorical hills he’ll willingly die on, as evidenced here:

Sigh… unexpected plot twists like this, are what makes me seriously contemplate that one day, I need to just chuck it all into the allegoric bin, and start doing heroin at a rate that even jazz musicians would find truly impressive, if not somewhat immensely concerning.

Therefore, the question that naturally arises from reading these two posts, is thus: just what in the “F” does Spring actually believe? Is je for educating the masses, or does he in all actuality, prefer that the majority remains just as willingly uniformed as he seems to be? At this point, I’m not sure if even Spring knows the definitive truth himself, and I doubt he ever will.

However, over the course of three screeds, and using nothing save fir his own words, we’ve all seen just who Spring truly is, and what he’s allegedly comfortable sharing with the denizens of the World Wide Web: vile racism, outdated misogyny, abominable xenophobia, ignorant homophobia, hateful transphobia, and not unexpectedly, a well of personal and religious hypocrisy so deep, that even *Victor Vescovo himself, couldn’t find the bottom of it.
*[Google it]

And all of it freely presented, without a hint of remorse or the merest glimpse of self-reflection.

In the end, and as much as I’d like to label Spring as nothing more than a relic of a bygone age, he serves as one of the strongest reminders that there is an ideological cancer that’s currently infesting the soul, culture, and humanity of America, and as such, dismissing him and his ilk as being nothing more just brainless regurgitating parrots, spewing the inanity of the modern-day GQP, would be a mistake of epic proportions, that we as a country, can ill afford to make…


This right here, boys and girls, is what results when you deliberately ignore the hate-babbling undercurrents brewing within your country, as well as the conspiracy theories, targeted propaganda, and the mentally-ill candidates, that the GQP produces as if it were a Chinese bootleg DVD factory mainlining black-market steroids.

Lest we forget, all revolutions based in nobility were jump-started by a single person saying “Enough!”, and motivating like-minded others to do the same. Disturbingly, that’s also how insurrections and coups launch as well, as we all experienced on January 6th, 2020.

But as I close out this three-story-arc involving Spring, I’d like to do so with one last slice of his inherent hypocrisy, which if anything, is the lone character quirk that he has in buckets. To recap, I’ve presented numerous examples of Spring’s unwarranted attacks and/or unsupported by credible evidence, opinions on a range of topics. most of them being uniformed, quite a few that are unhinged, and some that inadvertently turn out to be comical, due to their ironic unawareness.

The list in rough order included; assertions of non-existent election fraud, corporations promoting pedophilia, numerous anti- gay  and anti-trans sentiments, ignorant slurs regarding the practice of atheism, false accusations about imaginary Christian “persecution”, misogynistic disinformation about abortion rights and crudity concerning women’s physical appearance, a repulsive “joke” abut the act of rape, and lies about Trump supporters being killed due to their political beliefs.

There were also veiled slurs regarding African-American athletes [specifically, WNBA star Brittney Griner and the NFL’s Colin Kapernick] who dared protest police brutality by taking a knee before games, and an assertion that the Reverend Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr, would not

have supported such an action, fir the reason that; (and I quote directly) “he would have known the backlash”.

Something that didn’t bother Spring when he expressed support for both antisemite Kanye West and conservative token, Candace Owens. Continuing on, Spring launched harangues against the undocumented aliens fleeing to America, a limp-wristed attempted bitch-slap in regards to the still-well-regarded 44th US President Barrack Obama, as well as his wife Michelle, because… well, why not?

After all, she does dare to be Black in public as well, and that should be more than enough, right? And as we came to the end of this screed, we all got to see just how sympathetically our self-declared Christian handled the concept of extending charity towards the financially incarcerated.

Spring then bested himself, by topping it all off with a sampling of personal poetry so vapidly saccharine, that even the mythical Vogons from the seminal “Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy”, would willingly choose to find themselves consumed slowly by a Ravenous Bugblatter Beast of Traal, rather than be subjected to a second reading of it.

For those unfamiliar with my reference, it has been strongly suggested, if not outright recommended, that you should; “On no account allow a Vogon to read poetry at you”, due to the fact that Vogon poetry, [according to the “Guide”] is considered to be the third worst in the Universe.

The second worst, is that of the Azgoths of Kria, and the worst was by Paula Nancy Millstone Jennings of Sussex, who, as it was also noted in the Guide, perished along with her poetry, during the destruction of Earth, which was ironically caused by the Vogons themselves.

However, after perusing Spring’s masochistic mangling of the poetic craft, I believe that if given the choice, I would not only nominate his treacle-laden butchery as a viable substitute for the fictionally late Ms. Millstone’s body of work, I’d also, and quite happily at that, french-kiss a Ravenous Bugblatter Beast of Traal as well, if only to avoid ever having to read it again.

Happily though, we’ve finally reached the end of Spring’s travels within the Snarklands, and as I stamp his puerile passport for what I truly hope will be the last time, I’d like to remind you all of that earlier moment when I noted that due to their ironic self-unawareness, some of Spring’s postings were inadvertently comical.

And as I shut the metaphorical door in Spring’s face, I can’t think of a better way to do so, then by presenting this last hypocritical slice of self-ownership, which if anything, perfectly illustrates how far out of touch Spring actually is with himself, his actions, and definitive reality:  

This is quite honestly, some very good advice. Screw that- it’s great advice. Or it would be, if it wasn’t coming from the vilely malignant maw of a racist, misogynistic, homophobic, xenophobic, willingly misinformed, oft-times contradictory, transphobic, faux-Christian hypocrite.

If we were to strictly follow the guidelines set in stone before us by Spring, then I just have to ask that which is obvious: as he himself, can do none of these things with the merest sense of competence or credibly, then at what stage of development is he currently at? A zealous zygote? A nattering newborn? An inane infant? A temperamental toddler? A craven child? Or a pustulant pre-teen?

Easy answer: he’s none of those. He’s just another angry and politically impotent demagogue, seeking the adulation that he’s never been given or been able to craft for himself. And that’s it. No mystery. Ni dark secrets. Just another self-disenfranchised American, looking for the next scapegoat to blame for his well-deserved irrelevance.

There’s an old saying that goes; “You don’t really die until your name is mentioned for the very last time”, an observation that I for one, have always found to be somewhat profound. I would suggest, that given Spring’s lack of discernible humanity, empathy, sympathy, and civil decency, we go one better to get ahead of that “last mention” parable, and never utter his name, ever again.

Just like Spring decided to do with the boundaries of Reality, quite some time ago.


“When we don’t know who to hate, we hate ourselves.”- Chuck Palahniuk, Invisible Monsters












Dope Springs Infernal PT.2 (Herald of Hypocrisy.)

“Atheists have not produced so much evil as hypocrites have produced, or even simply those who preached God without being prepared for Him, daring to pronounce His name with unsanctified lips.” – Nikolai Gogol

Greetings, Bitchiteers!

Is today not a splendidly wonderful day? The birds are singing, the sun is shining, the clouds are ever so puffy, and Rush Limbaugh is still dead. Truly, a glorious diurnal all around, if I do say myself, and I do. In fact, I’m in such a good mood, I may even try to get through this, my newest of screeds, without once referencing Milla Jovovich, Ding Dongs, or my dual hatred of both Nickelback, and the malevolent scourge that is the “Renegade Cut” of “Highlander II: The Quickening”.

Please note that I did clearly, say “try”. After all, I’m only human, and a good joke is still a good joke, no matter how many times you’re retreaded it. And if you don’t believe me, just ask Chad Kroeger, the lead singer of Nickelback, who’s literally cloned the same guitar riff so many times, that the Ethics Committee of the American Society for Reproductive Medicine, has started sending him cease and desist letters.

As I stated in my earlier disclaimer, I did say that I would “try”, did I not?  And if once again, you think that I’m being overly harsh to Kroeger and Company, just keep in mind that the informational tidbit I’m about to present is not a joke- somebody high up in the Canadian government feels just as I do, and saw the usefulness of taking the dreck that is Nickelback’s musical catalogue, and weaponized it for the greater good:

What this relates to, is the story that the Canadian-based Kensington Police Service, recently threatened to punish drunken driving suspects by playing Nickelback in their squad cars, which I am sure on some level, just has to be a blatant violation of the Nuremberg Code.

Sometimes, you just have to accept that your personal character is not nearly as strong as you think it is, and just learn how to deal with the fallout of such. But sadly, this is a lesson that some, despite repeated exposure to the sageness of its teachings, never seem to learn.

Like this prime example of what happens,when a discount knock-off Bible mates with a displaced cave troll, and then leaves the resulting baby outside of a Trump rally, relying on the faint hope that the White Supremacists gathered inside, will find the Hellspawn, and raise it as if it were one of their own:

Ladies and Gentlemen, may I have the pleasure of introducing you all. to one James Ray Springs: proud Oklahoman. Loyal American Patriot. Slavishly devoted MAGAt. Also, balding.

And as you’d expect from the descriptors listed above, a 100% full-on Cafeteria Christian, to boot.

Weird how those always seem to go together, isn’t it?

But James is so much more than your stereotypical Trumpanzee, as you shall come to see. If anything, he’s the poster boy for just why it’s so necessary to fund both public education, if not access to birth control.

And he proves it almost every time he posts, which fortunately for me, is often.

Now, I will admit that as a rule, I really do enjoy what I do for both personal relaxation and profit, and when it comes to punching metaphorical holes in the floor of the bloviating boat that is modern-day conservatism, nothing makes me happier than finding an undiscovered reservoir of Republican abominableness, and James here, easily provides that without even breaking a sweat.

I swear on all that is unholy, that when the receipts are finally tabulated, I’m gonna bet that this twat-waffling Trumptard may just be the most productive moron that I’ve ever written about, save for my prior literary endeavors featuring two of my favorite human scratching posts, *Ken Cykala and *Ruth Darlene Seawolf, and both of those, clueless as they are, were stallions when it came to the propagating of conservative density. *[Check out the AB “Archive”]

But when it comes to Spring, he’s truly special. Protective headgear and short-bus privileges all the way, and I honestly do mean that as a compliment. Until he came across my radar, I didn’t know, or even believe, that I could enjoy a literal walking personification of a bumper sticker, half as much as I do him.

Like a Super-Walmart based in Hell, Spring offers it all, and at a far below retail price: Racism, Misogyny, Transphobia, Homophobia, Xenophobia, Conspiracy Theories, intrusive Pro-Life ideology, Cultural Distrust, and my personal favorite, absurdly blatant religious hypocrisy, which if I were to gush over anything he does, seems to be Spring’s masterwork in legacy building: .

Sigh… as you will see, Spring’s main forte is to get things wrong- sometimes by degrees, but typically, when he does so, he misses the point not by miles, but by literal galaxies. If NASA ever gave him the keys to Artemis, and told him to land on Mars, this twit would find himself floating dead-smack in the center of HD-1 I instead, and most likely, would be ranting about the aliens already living there..

To note, not believing in a celestial sky-daddy, is not, and I repeat, NOT “nihilistic”. It is, in my most humble of opinions, both logical and sane, considering that said deity Spring espouses, is at best, a mercurial sociopathic sadist, who inconsistently tortures and then purposefully ignores, his supposedly most valued of creations, when they beseech him for help.

And if you want to talk about “dark concepts” Jimmy Ray, I’d love to hear how the instructing of perceptive morality, using a Bronze-Age tome that not only at times, contradicts itself, but which also contains numerously graphic accounts of actions both abominable and sadistic, will ever produce an outcome that wouldn’t be eventually classified by a trained psychologist as “f**ked-up beyond belief”, in the end.

Shockingly, immersing a suggestable child in an ideology of truly lurid so-called “morality tales” based on Genocide, Racism, Slavery, Torture, Misogyny, Sodomy, Incest, Rape, Murder, and the forbidding of the consumption of a really good Shrimp boil, falls far short of humanizing the experience of seeing the majesty and wonder of the world as it actually is. 

And yet, when given those parameters, this is the vision that you want firmly implanted in their minds, instead?

Yup. That’s not the second-worst form of child abuse at all. But having the sheer audacity to inform the same child that God is a myth, religion is a blatantly transparent cancer, and that magical thinking is bulls**t?

Well, just sit back, and watch the Cafeteria Christian Cabal break out the guillotines for the Atheists, light a bonfire for their science books, and declare that it’s really the heathens who are the real danger to our society at large.

Fortunately for the necessary continuance of sanity, if not our societal unity in general, modern-day Religion is dying agonizingly slow on the vine, and ironically, the mythical and wholly sociopathic sky-daddy himself, can be credited for being the primary factor leading to its demise. And in my opinion, the fault-line for such, starts forming at the launch of the sales pitch:

“Hey there everybody, for those of you not in the know, our Supreme father, AKA “God” has these ten supposedly unbreakable rules, but they’re kind of arbitrary at times depending on his ever-so-mercurial will, and if you fail to spend your entire life on your knees thanking him for cursing you with the taint of the original sin that was actually all his fault, he’s going to send you to a place replete with personalized torture, endless pain, and the joy of eternally swimming the backstroke in a boiling lake of fire.

Oh, and even if you were a bad person for let’s say, only half of your life, you’re still going to be stuck there until the stars burn out, because that’s how the Big Guy likes to show both his Love for you, and his penchant for practicing the art of sheer overkill, mixed with unrealistic and unobtainable expectations.”

Now, while this appeals to some people as a desirable lifestyle choice for some as yet, unfathomable reason, those of us whose brains still work the way Nature intended them to, are usually the first ones in line to say; “No thanks. I’ll take a seriously hard pass on that bullspit”. While I can accept the fact that Faith in and of itself, can be a wonderfully powerful force for good, I tend to lose that optimism when I discover that it’s been encased within the scurrilous shell that is modern-day organized Religion.

And as we shall come to see, when the allegorical reins are placed in the hands of a mewling hypocrite like Spring, it only serves to remind the sane walking among us, just what a crock the belief in the Celestial, really is.

The same people who conceitedly declare that they wouldn’t dare condescend to consult with psychics, mediums and the gateway to satanic values that is a Ouija board, are also the same persons who will tell you in the same breath and without a trace of irony, that they only take counsel from God, whom they’ve never seen, never heard, and have never met.

Case in point, courtesy of Spring himself:

Take all the time you need to process this inadvertent satire. And as you engage in the saddest of pauses after accepting the fact, that the people who espouse this garbage, don’t see the evident contradictions within it, take heart in the reality that their Age of Ignorance is coming to its long overdue end, and as it does, faux Christians such as Spring, will hopefully become as culturally relevant as an 8-track player, or even worse, a Microsoft Zune.

Speaking only for myself, I have never understood how anyone who supposedly puts stock in the “lessons” purportedly ensconced within the Bible, can consciously ignore the modern-day incongruity it raises. Take the story to be found in Genesis 11:1-9, which describes the arrogant folly of the Tower of Babel, which men built in a futile attempt to reach heaven from their earthbound confines.

To note; “And the whole earth was of one language, and of one speech. And it came to pass, as they journeyed from the east, that they found a plain in the land of Shinar; and they dwelt there. And they said one to another, Go to, let us make brick, and burn them thoroughly. And they had brick for stone, and slime had they for mortar.

And they said, Go to, let us build us a city and a tower, whose top may reach unto heaven; and let us make us a name, lest we be scattered abroad upon the face of the whole earth. And the Lord came down to see the city and the tower, which the children of men builded. And the Lord said, Behold, the people is one, and they have all one language; and this they begin to do: and now nothing will be restrained from them, which they have imagined to do.

Go to, let us go down, and there confound their language, that they may not understand one another’s speech. So the Lord scattered them abroad from thence upon the face of all the earth: and they left off to build the city. Therefore is the name of it called Babel; because the Lord did there confound the language of all the earth: and from thence did the Lord scatter them abroad upon the face of all the earth.”

In essence, God saw the humans encroaching on his front yard, and in a supreme act of petty celestial suburbanism, threw a spanner into their works, instead. So, if we hold to the lesson of the danger in trying to reach the underside of heaven via an earthbound tower, then why is God not seemingly as vexed by our building an international space station that in theory, occupies the space above it?

An installation by the way, whose very existence and research mission statement alone, proves consistently that God is indeed, no more than a myth akin to boogeymen, the Tooth Fairy, the Easter Bunny, and a good X-Men movie.

But it’s not all bad news for the fantastical, as Santa is still very real, and I know this to be true, because I see him every December hanging out at my local mall. Granted, he can never remember my name, but let’s be fair here- he is quite up there on the age scale, so minor memory slips are bound to happen.

If I were so pessimistically bold, I’d even opine that most Christians only believe in God, because the thought of a Heaven occupied by only people such as themselves, is a salve to the fact that down here on earth, we hold their actions and words to account. And of course, Spring is more than happy to let us all know (me specifically) exactly whom gets to be lounging on a cloud, and who gets to be Satan’s chew-toy;

While it’s obvious that I’m fairly dismissive of the sincerity of Spring’s alleged faith, I’d also like to point out that deep inside, I’m also somewhat envious of his assurance in expressing it as devout, despite all evidence to the contrary. In addition, I would also like to note that Spring’s interpretation of the Rapture is somewhat philosophically imperfect, as in my opinion, an Earth free of religious hypocritical extremists like himself, would indeed be as close to Heaven as my atheist mind can visualize.

In spite of the fact that as a rule, I tend to consider myself a person gifted (and oft-cursed) with a sense of supreme personal self-assurance, I can readily assure you all, that it’s nowhere near the level of Spring’s, which overall, reminds me of a meme I once saw:

And I must admit, even with my eye of cynicism fully open, that in a way, Spring is Batman; dark, brooding, and most likely, spending a great deal of his free time sitting in a cave, obsessing over the things he cannot change, such as women being allowed to have their own opinions, and African-Americans daring to do White people stuff unimpeded, in public.

In my last screed, I briefly touched upon Spring’s inherent misogyny and racism, in lieu of his so-called Christian values without providing a solid base for my opinion, but now it’s time for a few examples, methinks. To start us off, let’s tackle conservatives favorite sport, attempting to control women, and as you’d expect from a guy who needs to feel like an alpha, he knows not only what’s best for women, but what’s really going on in regards to modern-day feminism, as well:

I tells ya’, there’s nothing like having a guy in his seventies, mansplaining to woman unknown to him, what the true issues are in relation to their ongoing fight for unfettered female body autonomy. And as a bonus, he’s also more than happy to offer some unsolicited advice from his faux ivory tower as well:

I won’t speak for you of course, but as Spring displays his inherent suaveness by crassly suggesting that it’s the women who need to close their legs, you can just feel the love of Jesus rolling off this guy, as if he were dipped in AXE sanctimonious-scented body spray.

I do love the mixed message that Spring is promoting here though: if you make the decision to have an abortion, you’re a stone-cold murderer, but if you choose to have the kid, then you’re noth9ng less than a societal leech, and a whore, as well.

Damn. It must be so nice to sit on both sides of the metaphorical morality table, and still claim the mantle of prideful and unwarranted self-righteousness. However, we shouldn’t dwell on the past, because Spring is already doing that for us, as only he can:

Just grace and elegance”. And also, if you remember, an incontestable sense of anticipated subservience to the reigning patriarchal attitudes of the era. But our man Spring here, the obviously ardent Feminist, was thoughtful enough to issue a contemptuous observation about what aspects of femininity, women need to regain in his unasked for, and wholly erroneous, opinion.

You’ll notice by the way, that Spring didn’t remark upon what men in general need to do to better themselves, as once again, it’s all on the women whether they like it or not. Nevertheless, I appreciate that the first thing that Spring referenced was the importance of looks, and not strength of character, intellect, or personal ambitions, qualities which I’m sure in Soring’s world, are regarded as highly inconvenient, if not emasculating.

The irony here though, is that Spring, the self-declared adversary of Botox, silicone and all things torn, once posted this sexist tripe masquerading as political commentary, because in his cravenly chauvinistic worldview, the dumber the woman, the better it is for his cuckolded kind.

Now, before I reduce this asinine comparison to bloody shreds, I’d like to thank Spring for his almost godlike ability to set up the joke for me. I

n most cases when I’m writing about somebody as allegedly awful as Spring appears to be, I actually have to do a lot of behind-the-scenes work, such as extensive research, meticulous checking for accuracy, and let us never forget, the metaphorical heavy lifting involved in just getting my pixilated observations on the path to being crafted into a workable story.

It can be at times, maddening, depressing. exhausting, and stressful as frak, but when you take into account that Spring’s inadvertent setup was perfect for my eventual retort, it’s all worth it:

But Spring isn’t done quite yet with his mansplaining traveling show. After all, as a man of the Faith, it’s apparently his job as well, to instruct the women he doesn’t know how to properly carry themselves in public, even if he doesn’t feel the need to do the same for the men that they may encounter while doing so:.

Has anyone else noticed that it’s always the sole responsibility of women to dress modestly? To be the ones who have to walk back to their car parked on a dark street, with the keys splayed between their fingers, or to carry mace? To create a “safe phrase’ if they’re being harassed in a bar, where they’re also not allowed to get too drunk, because if they do, and wind up getting sexually assaulted due to being vulnerable, then they’ll be told that they were “asking for it”?

And my personal favorite: if a woman finds herself pregnant, you hardly ever hear commentary about the man that shirked his responsibility, it’s always the woman’s fault for “not being careful”, or “choosing the wrong guy to f**k”, despite the reality that it takes two to tango as it were, but society only likes to assign blame to the one person who’s already dancing backward to begin with.

Once again, it must be so nice to sit on both sides of the metaphorical morality table, and still claim the mantle of prideful and unwarranted self-righteousness, when it’s the male gender that inarguably, creates the problematic societal fear that women overall, are forced to deal with on a daily basis.

That fear by the way, which runs the gamut from the anticipation of unwanted advances to the aforementioned apprehension of being sexually assaulted, are seemingly of no real concern to Spring, who in a truly sickening act of crass chauvinism, reduces such valid anxieties into nothing more than an opening to launch a thoughtless infliction of a tastelessly abhorrent “joke” decrying them, instead:

For the life of me, I have no idea why anybody would ever doubt that this guy wasn’t a true “Child of God”, can you? Other than the fact that Spring displays both the intellectual maturity of a mentally-challenged penile implant, and the warmth afforded to an unprepared speculum, it’s almost like standing next to Christ himself, is it not?

For the record, the abominable and dehumanizing act of rape is not, I repeat, NOT based on the physical attractiveness of the victim to be, it’s based on opportunity, access, and control of said allegorical prey. I cannot believe that I even have to express this in print, but the scars of sexual assault, both attempted and achieved, go far beyond what Spring flippantly (if not repulsively) describes as “optimism”.

No James, “optimism” is what you have, in assuming that every female within your unfortunate orbit, isn’t acutely aware that you’re a nattering Neanderthal at best, and an allegedly passive supporter of sexual assault, at worst.

But here’s where Spring takes a turn for the weird. Despite his predilection for “advising’ women who didn’t ask him for such invasive input on how they should act, dress, fornicate, plan a family, and ignore the threat of being raped if they’re considered unattractive, he also wants them to know that he’s also not “one of those guys’, either

But just to make sure that he himself, in no way, shape or form, could ever be considered as “creepy”, Spring offers some additional and wholly unsolicited societal guidance to the women validly upset that their body autonomy rights are being taken away, with a sage suggestion that only a truly non-creepy septuagenarian would ever make.

And in the act of doing so, proves that despite his avowal of supporting a woman’s right to not be harassed online or in general, he is most definitely indeed, “one of those guys”:

If there was ever a possibility that genital warts could ever be granted the privilege of sentience, and then additionally gifted with both ambulatory ability and internet access, my gut tells me it would look very akin to the visage that Spring here presents, when he’s out and about in public.

Because along with believing that so-called “ugly” women have nothing to fear from dedicated rapists, he also espouses that women in general, shouldn’t be concerned with the equally valid worry of losing their body autonomy as well. And why is that?

Well, because of the Transgender community, of course!
Yes, this is a stupid statement. And yes, Spring is quite the stupid man. But no, he actually does know what he’s doing here, even if he doesn’t know what he’s actually saying. Like most neocons, Spring is deliberately taking two unrelated topics that he proudly knows nothing about, and is amalgamating them, in older to draw attention away from whatever topic was actually being discussed, before he did so.

A classic case of a “Bait and Switch” gambit, except that now in this modern-age, it would be far more accurate to describe it as more of a “Hate and Bitch” maneuver, instead. It’s one of the oldest go-to conservative tricks in the book, and the reason why Spring tends to use it so much, is probably because he was actually there when it was first written down,

In Sumerian. On the back of a freshly-killed Trilobite.

As you may have gathered after reading my last screed, Spring, along with being a misogynistic faux Christian and a soon to be proven bigot of no small reputation, also possesses quite the hate-on for the LGBTQ Community as well, which is yet another reprehensible aspect of his disturbingly f**ked-up character. Now. while I won’t be readdressing that topic just yet, I will, be revisiting it, if only to fully flesh out just what a heretical hypocrite Spring truly is.

Speaking of which…

Let’ me notate if I may, one of the Conservative movement’s favorite pastimes, that being the spewing of vitriolic venom at the entire Clinton political dynasty, despite Bill not being President since 2001, his wife Hillary not being culturally relevant since 2017, and their daughter Chelsea, who at the time of this writing, now works with the Clinton Foundation and Clinton Global Initiative, both of which are centered on providing solutions to some of the world’s most pressing concerns.

But just as Rush Limbaugh once so despicably did on his TV show where he inferred that Chelsea was “the White House Dog”, Conservatives love going after the children of the people they can’t even begin to touch. By the way, Chelsea was only 12, and Rush three decades her senior, when he made his revolting remarks, which just goes to show that the only people that the Alt-Wrong can take on comfortably, are the defenseless and the underaged.

And no matter how much you may want one, you’re still not getting a Matt Gaetz joke out of me.

Now to be fair, the elder Clintons have both had their share of valid political scandals, Bill with the Paula Jones and Monica Lewinsky sex scandals that almost sank his presidency, and Hillary with her own private email server scandal in 2015, but as to the rest of the so-called “Scandals” [Whitewater, Vince Foster’s suicide, Uranium One, Filegate, Benghazi, and Travelgate] they’ve all  fizzled out, much like Rush Limbaugh’s hateful little heart once so charitably did, on that wonderful evening in February of 2021.

And it pisses Conservatives off something fierce, because in spite of their declarations that they believe in the concept of Law and Order, [See; “January Sixth, 2021”] nothing makes them madder than when an avowed democrat walks away from a supposed scandal, while their guys get tagged for the same.

For instance, they’ll crow about Bill’s adultery, but ignore Trumps history of such. They’ll talk about Hilary’s missing emails, but purposefully overlook the hundreds of thousands that Bush Jr and Dick Cheney deleted in regards to the pointless war in Iraq. They’ll screech about Hunter Biden, but you guessed it, forget that Trump’s kids, Don Jr, Ivanka, and Eric, even exist.

Although for the sake of accuracy, so does Trump himself from time to time, depending on his need for either a scapegoat, an ass-kissing, or in Ivanka’s case, when he requires a special daughter-daddy lap dance to ease his rapidly fraying nerves.

Even when said “scandal” was proven beyond doubt to be a false and cherry-picked narrative, an overblown assessment, or wholly imaginary to begin with, such as “Obamagate”, the neocon nutbars just keep swimming forward, delightfully unimpeded by either the clarity of logic or even the faintest twinge of guilt in concern to failing their alleged humanity.

And Spring is no maverick when it comes to this worn out cliché, if anything, he’s a self-castrated gelding, dutifully following the party line in referencing a situational joke that went cold ten minutes after it was first created:

Delightful witticism, isn’t it? Especially coming from a self-declared “Man of God”, who apparently has forgotten the lesson of Ephesians 5:3-4: “But sexual immorality and all impurity or covetousness must not even be named among you, as is proper among saints. Let there be no filthiness nor foolish talk NOR CRUDE JOKING, which are out of place, but instead let there be thanksgiving.”

I can only guess Spring must have overlooked those wise words, in his never-ending quest to find the perfect blowjob joke regarding a political situation that nobody has discussed in over two decades.

If in the future, Spring desires to craft one that’s relevant (somewhat) he can always build upon the humor that while Trump had to pay 130K to a porn star to get the briefest of hummers, Spring, the ever so willingly loyal sycophant, most likely would have taken the task on for free. 

And no, I won’t be apologizing for that observational assessment anytime soon or even in the far-off future, given the empirical evidence of Spring’s willingness to happily swallow whatever bulls**t buffet Trump and the utterly complicit GQP, feed him.

By all known and I might add, self-posted evidence, Spring’s favorite repasts are those that serve up Racism as the appetizer, soup, main dish, and dessert. In fact, next to Spring’s almost pro-bulimic-level discharging of faux Christianity upon the unfortunate within his reach, this may be the next most vomitous mass that he truly enjoys disgorging in public. To start us off down the intolerant path of Spring’s mélange of mass-manufactured racial paranoia, I present this asinine foretaste of the things yet to come::

On the surface, while these are terrible tragedies, the narrative attached to both, is only half-true.

While Floyd was indeed, a career criminal, he was not “resisting arrest” when he died, as at the time of his death, he was in handcuffs, laying face-down on the ground, being overseen by no less than four officers, and as proven by bystander video recorded at the time of the incident, Floyd was being fully compliant.

This BTW, is not the only factual deletion in Spring’s account.

What Spring chose deliberately to not mention, is that during Floyd’s arrest, the now currently convicted 2nd degree murderer and former Minneapolis police officer Derek Chauvin, who had both 18 prior complaints filed against him and a reputation for aggression, according to official police records, made the inexplicable decision to kneel on Floyd’s neck using his full weight, for close to ten minutes, leading to Floyd’s eventual demise.

In addition, Spring ever the dogged researcher also neglected to inform us all, that in the later part of 2017, Chauvin responded to a complaint, where he was once again, caught on video using excessive force against an African-American suspect. In this instance however, the individual was a 14-year-old boy who Chauvin beat so badly in the head with a flashlight, the child required stitches.

And then, in a foreshadowing of his eventually fatal encounter with Floyd, he proceeded to pin said child down with his knee for close to 20 minutes, as the boy protested that he was having difficulty breathing. Complaints that Chauvin resolutely ignored. This information, being deemed possibly prejudicial to Chauvin’s ability to receive a fair trial, was purposefully withheld from the jury that in the end, convicted Chauvin of Floyd’s murder.

Yeah… I did say “murder” as Chauvin was not only convicted of unintentional second-degree murder, third-degree murder, and second-degree manslaughter, resulting in a sentence of 22½ years in prison, the autopsy conducted by the Hennepin County medical examiner, also determined that the cause of Floyd’s death was, and I quote; “cardiopulmonary arrest complicating law-enforcement subdual restraint, and neck compression”.

In other words, but not in Spring’s, of course- it classifies as a HOMICIDE. Therefore, Floyd was “MURDERED”, and not “killed”. Semantics, I knew, but words and their implied meanings are still important to the accuracy of a narrative, specifically those based on racist ideology and the construct of victim-blaming.

In the equally as tragic case of Cayler Ellingson, a police official in North Dakota where the murder took place, have declared that there’s “no evidence” showing that politics were a factor in his being run over by an SUV driven by one Shannon Brandt the prime suspect.

North Dakota Highway Patrol Captain Bryan Niewind, has been quoted by FOX News as saying that; “We have uncovered no evidence to support Mr. Brandt’s claim on the 911 call he made that Cayler Ellingson is a Republican extremist, nor that this incident involved politics. This is a terrible tragedy for the Ellingson family. We continue to investigate what led up to the incident, the crash itself and the claim made by Brandt. But, at this time there has been no evidence to corroborate Brandt’s statement.”

Despite this official statement however, Spring has still yet to amend his claims, not because he researched the case and discovered credible data that reinforces his opinion, but because the act of attempting to do so, wouldn’t fit his narrative of Conservatives being specifically targeted victims of leftist political violence.

And when it comes to his claims that the “media” is complicity silent in concern to this case? Well, let us all just go check out what the ol’ Google has to say about that:

Hmmm. Call me overly optimistic, but if I were able to find 94,100 mentions of my name in 0.36 seconds, I’d personally feel that were more than just a few people paying attention to me, and I’d have some serious reservations on just how silent they’d be with that much social buzzing going on.

Nevertheless, it does prove that yet again, another one of Spring’s histrionic harangues, is nothing more than pure unadulterated racist horses**t, in regards to both its presentation of a proven to be false story, and its context as a so-called concern for the Conservative branch.

But now, having observed just how fast Goggle can come up with one’s personal relevancy, I’m actually kind of curious as to what my current share of Google mentions are, as I have been off the allegorical stage for quite some time now, so I can’t imagine I’d even register as a blip these days:

Wow. That’s not a blip, so much as it is a potential cause for worry, methinks.

However, as long as there’s nobody on the Internet wondering aloud what I would look like as a custom-tailored tuxedo fashioned by Ed Gein, I’ll just ignore the implications for now. Spring however, cannot, as his incessant need to paint conservatism as the true victim of racial identity politics, far outranks his crafting of narratives that ultimately, always fail in their attempts to assert his theorems as true.

Spring’s alleged bigotry, another one of those abominable character flaws that clings to hm, as if it were a wood tick dipped in superglue, seemingly drives his racist requirement for insidiously “woke’ boogeymen, ranging from politicians to athletes, whom as we shall see, just so happen to be, a favored target.

And if those fail to raise the racist ire that Spring is consistently trying to achieve, he’ll then play the preferred scapegoat card that all Conservatives keep in their back pockets for when political emergencies necessitate an immediate deflection, that being the topic of illegal immigration.

But before we dive into Spring’s hated of the Cinnamon, I’ll address one of Spring’s most-despised archetypes, the African-American athlete who dares use their constitutionally-protected right to protest what they correctly see as social injustice against their race.

And when it comes to the big fish swimming in the anaerobic lagoon that serves as Spring’s so-called intellect, there’s no bigger prize that Spring wants to land and hang on his wall, than Colin Kapernick, the former quarterback for the San Francisco 49ers.

Spring reviles Kapernick, but as it is with most of the race-based issues that irk ol’ Jimmy Ray something fierce, it has absolutely nothing to do with actual reality, and everything to do with his bigoted belief that our country’s prominent African Americans, just need to shut the f**k up already about the things he could care less about, namely racial disparity, and get back to standing around doing nothing during the playing of the National Anthem:

I hate to break it to all the hypocritical jingoists out there such as Spring, who demand that athletes paid to play a child’s game must stand for the Anthem, as they remain seated on their fat asses at home, but no law says that you have to stand for it, and you are more than free to take a knee as a form of silent protest regarding this country’s inequities, if you so wish.

Kapernick did just that, and regardless of the fact that it was an American veteran who suggested to him that that he do so, and irrespective of the reality that he legally could, Alt-Wrong pinheads such as Spring, lost what little remained of their goddamn minds, and demanded that Kapernick be fined by the NFL, or fired outright, because… um… wait a minute, I’ve got it around here somewhere…

Oh, here it is! The reason why, according to these fine not racist at all patriots, was because his actions were in essence, “disrespecting” the United States of America, its troops, its flag, and apparently as well, its great ingrained tradition of Blacks keeping their collective yaps shut, and knowing their place.

Shockingly, it is possible to both love your country and call out its societal flaws at the same time, because that’s exactly what the Founding Fathers wanted you to do. Hence the reason why the right to protest is the FIRST thing notated within the Constitution: “Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof; or abridging the freedom of speech, or of the press; or the right of the people peaceably to assemble, and to petition the government for a redress of grievances.”

And whether Spring likes it or not, or believes it or not, that right applies to ALL of America’s citizens. And yes Jimmy Ray, that includes even those annoyingly uppity ones that you so obviously wish were on a leaky boat headed back to Africa.

But this is not to say that Spring hates all African-Americans, as like most Conservative bigots, he will make allowances for those specific individuals that follow the predetermined game plan of being quietly subservient to their modern-day massas:

No matter how long I live, I will never understand how the trotting out of an allegorical human token in public, is considered to be “proof” that you’re not racist when you so blatantly are. This sort of cringing posturing is quite literally, akin to bragging that you have a Black “friend”, when the entire depth of your relationship, is based on the fact that you remember their name when you run into them at work.

As I called attention to previously; “it is possible to both love your country and call out its societal flaws at the same time”, and doing so doesn’t make you or your actions, unamerican, communistic, socialistic, or whatever term of the second that the Alt-Wrong tosses around, like they do their supposed morals.

And despite the reality that Kapernick has not played in an NFL game for FIVE YEARS, you would never know it, given how often Spring and his fellow Vanilla Valkyries, bring it up as a topic of subjective derision. Say what you will about the neocons, but being stuck in the past is truly their niche, and they do it far better than anyone else.

Let’s keep the context in mind here, if we may. Unlike the Conservative movement’s favorite ex-footballer and current senatorial candidate Herschel Walker, Kapernick isn’t a pile of unrepentant slime, doesn’t have a gaggle of previously unknown to the public children born out of wedlock, nor does he have a history of domestic violence, and most certainly, if not importantly, isn’t a well-documented pathological liar, as well.

Walker by the way, seen here denying that he just said what he just said, is also of African-American descent, and yet, despite the numerous flaws of character laid out just above, and the myriad of lies he’s been unquestionably caught disseminating, the GQP base still regards him highly, for simply no other reason than the inexcusable fact that he represents the “right” kind of Black person that they prefer to be associated with.

The celebrating of group cravenness, over that of individual strength, the lauding of the lowest, as it were. Speaking of which…

I don’t know about you, but when I need current political and societal issue guidance, I often turn to a guy who punches people in the head for a living, and if he’s unavailable, then the ex-jock turned tepid Thespian, whose acting chops make him appear as if he were the sole recipient of those punches, will do just fine in his stead.

Once again, Kapernick didn’t do anything immoral or illegal, as Herschel Walker seemingly does almost every damn day, but he did fully utilize his Constitutional rights to politely suggest that maybe police should stop murdering African-American citizens, and for a faux patriot and overt racist such as Spring is, that was just a step too far over the line that White people drew in the sand.

One might argue that Spring was simply irked at what he considers a slandering of the police in general,  but when you take into account that he’s displayed zero concern regarding the Capitol Police being attacked on January 6th, I’d infer that he only tends to openly support the Blue, when it’s openly murdering the Brown.

Has anyone else ever noticed by the way, that whenever Conservatives need to present a Black face to ward off the consequences resultant from their publicly displayed acts of racism, the only persons that they can ever persuade to speak on their behalf, always seem to be professional athletes?  Are they truly that unaware that African-Americans are omnipresent in career fields outside of the one that is the world of competitive sports, or do they believe that’s all they know how to do?

Seriously. Outside of Thomas Sowell, and Candyass Owens, how many academically prominent Black spokespersons for the GQP, can you list right off the top of your head? And no, “Diamond and Silk” don’t count, as I’m fairly confident that their only academic endeavors were in learning how to effectively parlay their dual cosplaying as modern-day Stephanie Fetch-its, into a profitable career in puerile propagandist punditry:

You know what’s funny? Honestly, until these two twunts burst onto the national stage like a festering sore on the ass of Humanity, I always thought that the practicing of intellectually vapid Karenicity, was exclusively a White lady thing, so I guess as a society, progress is being made, evermore the pity as it does.

The pity I have regarding the Progress being made is in concern to the ever-evolving tactics being employed by the Alt-Wrong to capitalize upon the established legacies of the Left’s heroes, severely mutating their message in order to make it line up with the inane ideology of the Right’s.

Take for instance, this rather enlightening exchange between I, Spring, and his hetero-wingman-for-life, one Jim Hodges, debating just what the honorable Reverend Martin Luther King would have done, in relation to the neocon-crafted controversy that whirls around Kaepernick’s cause to this day.

I do apologize for the sheer length of it, but trust me, it’s worth the read, if only for the fact that when Spring can’t sell his “Kapernick disrespected America” bullspit, he then introduces (of course) the irrelevant deflection of Hillary’s supposed email scandal, the Benghazi incident in which both she and the White House, were cleared of any charges, and a comparison drawing parallels between the FBI and the KGB.

And all of it is appropriate to mention, because as you already know, the presentation of such conspiracy theories, would be a natural transitional point in a discussion centered on the beliefs of Reverend King:

I guess you got me there, Jimmy Ray, because if there was one thing Martin Luther King truly feared, it was facing “backlash”. from the community that was at the time, oppressing his people.]

[Or maybe not, you absolute f**king moron.].