Wayne Michael Reich

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Month: February 2021

The Con-versation Pt.2 (Fake it till you make it)

“You are not entitled to your opinion. You are entitled to your informed opinion. No one is entitled to be ignorant.” – Harlan Ellison

Hello Blogiteers!

It’s truly been a wonderful day in my neighborhood- I got to go spend some time shooting a snow covered cemetery, had a nice strong cup of Earl Grey when I got back home, and somehow, still managed to make a whole bunch of Trumpanzees cry, bitch, moan, and eventually run for their online lives. That which best sums up my attitude when it comes to dealing with the members of Cult 45, is perfectly encapsulated by a pivotal scene from the James Bond flick “Tomorrow Never Dies”, that occurs between our hero 007, and the comedically amusing, and yet still wholly evil hitman, Dr. Kaufman, which goes like this:

Dr. Kaufman: “This is very embarrassing. It seems there is a red box they need in your car, only they can’t get it open. They want me to get you to tell how to open it. I feel like an idiot, I don’t know what to say.”

[Bond just smiles]

Dr. Kaufman: “I am to torture you if you don’t do it.”

James Bond: “Do you have a doctorate in that as well?”

Dr. Kaufman: “No, no this is more like a hobby… but I am very gifted.”

Now, while I can claim with some authority that my main gig is that of a Jack-of-all-Trades Creative, my main go-to and fallback these days, is that of a professional Writer. But as far as where my “hobby” is concerned, excoriating those within the conservative movement is definitely where I tend to really bring my “A” game, if I do say so myself, and I do. But to be fair, how hard is it to win a battle of wits when your opponents consistently arrive unarmed? We’ve all heard the axiom of “Like shooting fish in a barrel”, but these people are more akin to the cow in Douglas Adam’s most excellent book, “Restaurant at The End of The Universe”, than anything else.

Of what do I speak?  From Chapter 17…

“Well,” said the animal, “I know many vegetables that are very clear on that point. Which is why it was eventually decided to cut through the whole tangled problem and breed an animal that actually wanted to be eaten and was capable of saying so clearly and distinctly. And here I am.” 

It managed a very slight bow. “Glass of water please,” said Arthur.

“Look,” said Zaphod, “we want to eat, we don’t want to make a meal of the issues. Four rare stakes please, and hurry. We haven’t eaten in five hundred and seventy-six thousand million years.”

The animal staggered to its feet. It gave a mellow gurgle. “A very wise choice, sir, if I may say so. Very good,” it said, “I’ll just nip off and shoot myself.” He turned and gave a friendly wink to Arthur. “Don’t worry, sir,” he said, “I’ll be very humane.”

Granted, while the thought of an animal that’s 100% OK with being eaten would be gratefully accepted without question by those who are guilt-stricken by the process in which their meat found its way onto their plate, the opposite reaction should also hold true when that state of mind is applied to people. Or so I would like to think. But when it comes to Cult 45, these future case studies in group psychosis, cannot wait to offer up their throats in an act of selfless defense to delay, if not stop entirely, whatever allegorical blade may threaten their mango-tinted man-child.

The only difference between these sociopathic cultists and the one who followed Jim Jones of the People’s Temple into his Guyanese grave, are their Chinese-made red hats, KKK derived slogan, and a far wider variety of Kool-Ade flavors to eventually spike with cyanide. Make no mistake, these people would have, and still may, very well follow their Fanta Fuhrer into his version of the Berlin bunker, emerging only to see the light of day, when they collectively decide to do their petrol-soaked homage to Joseph Goebbels, as a final encore.

Insane take, you say? Too outlandish, by far, you think? No evidence to support such an absurd claim? Well then, take a gander at some of these comments, collected from one of the numerous Facebook pages that have sprung up during Trump’s tenure as the rapist of American values, if only for enjoying the sheer amount of outright farcical lunacy they contain:-

Sure, these may read as if they were satire, but sadly, they are not. However, they do serve as the perfect yardstick to measure just how many delusional dips**ts walk freely among us, just waiting for the day Donald Trump will descend from Mar-a-Lago once more, via his great big golden escalator, throwing out autographed rolls of paper towels, to the throng of his wretched faithful, drooling in mindless adoration, just below the level of his contemptuous gaze.

Now, if you want to continue exploring further as to just what a gaggle of ignorantly seditious nitwits looks like, then I’d advise you to stop reading this screed for a second or two, and peruse the “Reich N’ Roll” gallery on my website for a few minutes or so, just in case you’ve ever felt the need to be further disappointed by your so-called fellow humans past the point that you already are. This accidental side-project of mine, which honestly started as a joke, has quickly grown into both a side-hustle of sorts, as well as becoming one of my most “popular” galleries as well. And the best part of all of this, is that I had to do literally nothing to both find them, and then, have them engage with me.

Actually, I have to modify that somewhat, as there was some limited effort on my part, to be quite honest. Fortunately, all I had to do was show up on a randomly-chosen conservative social media page, start openly posting common sense, facts, and the best attractant for acquiring hostile Trumpanzees to oneself, Reality. They may hate it, but they really are powerless against its hypnotic pull in regards to their idiocy, glad to say. And man, has it been productive, if not just outright fun overall. Watching these cult members rationalize everything Trump says and does, while knowing they’d crucify Obama (or any Democrat) for doing the same, is hypocrisy-based joy of the highest caliber, and the reservoir of it is literally endless.

I’ve touched on this before in earlier screeds, and I find myself addressing it yet again, because it’s a story-arc that seemingly has no end. Well, as of yet, anyway. So, once more into the breech, as I gather up the loose threads of an earlier blog, where I laid out the so-called thought process of one of Trump’s legion of lying monkeys, and discovered to no one’s surprise at all, that when it comes to the darklands of undiagnosed mental illnesses, Trump’s fan-base will be an economic boon for, and a cornerstone of, the psychoanalytic field for decades to come. As you may recall from the most recent blog,, I previously introduced you to a lovely individual named Mary Cecelia Walker, who, when she’s not busy posting cherry-picked misinformation online, spends an equal amount of her time slavishly doing the same in regards to conspiracy theories, so debunked and hilariously ludicrous, that even Alex Jones might second-guess himself.

[Note that I said “might”, not “would”..]

I highlighted a few of her more inane posts, as well as some outright fabrications, pointed out her ignorant as f**k POV regarding social distancing and mask usage protocols, and left on a high note, because that’s what I do. But now I’m back, and we’re going to address some of her,,, let’s just say, truly unique takes on Reality, and the numerous events that occur within it. To do so, I’ll be directly touching upon three things very near and dear to Mary’s alleged heart; fake news, racist observations, and lastly, her mindless adulation of everybody’s favorite traitor and vile mango-tinted man-child, Donald Trump.

First topic at bat, “Fake News”, both the obsession and favorite slur of our now thankfully disposed Fanta Fascist, which I will happily point out, was not a real thing, until we got a fake President who promoted its dangerous disingenuousness with the same passion he displays when he brags about sexually assaulting women, and how he wants to bang his own daughter.

This term that Trump is fond of tossing out as if it were an African-American tenant, or personal checks to a porn star, is demarcated as “false or misleading information presented as news, whose main adjective is typically, harming the reputation of a person or organized structure, as a means of generating income via advertising revenue.” This particularly specific definition has been further clarified by noted Media scholar Nolan Higdon, who broadened the understood parameters of its existence as “false or misleading content presented as news and communicated in formats spanning spoken, written, printed, electronic, and digital communication.” In essence, a dead-on assessment of FOX, Newsmax, InfoWars, Sinclair Broadcast Group, and especially the most odious of them all, the flaming sewage-pile that calls itself OANN, AKA: One America News Network.

Along those lines, here’s an edited response to a posting of mine where I dared use actual facts to argue / prove that a certain Democratic official who was instrumental in turning Georgia “blue”, was in no actual danger of being convicted for what is at best, a ham-fisted attempt at direct manipulation of public opinion to quash their future political influence. They’ll fail of course, but that doesn’t mean that their false conspiracy baton won’t be handed off to the party faithful, who will carry it as far as they can, regardless of its non-existent accuracy, or the consequences of its fallout, whether it’s cultural, political, or personal:
While this may present as funny, and it certainly is to be sure, the tone-deafness it requires of these members of a Death cult to tell you, and in all seriousness no less, that you’re the one disseminating “fake news”, when their social media pages read as if they’re the pop-up version of the Anarchist Cookbook, is quite possibly, the most unintentionally ironic self-own I’ve read in a while, hands down.

This is not to say that Liberal news sources don’t venture into false territory for the sake of advancing their demographic reach, but even I as a cynic, know who has a far better track record for honesty than these pied pipers of purulence do. But for Mary, postings and memes such as these, are just part of the Gospel of Truth she takes her erroneous cues from. And since I’ve now set those pins up, let’s do a 7-10 split, and take them all down. You know. For fun?

First up, Mary posted this gem of a falsehood right after an incident in which a domestic terrorist wired an RV in downtown Nashville to blow, which pretty much leveled a city block, as seen in the photos diectly underneath it.

And while no one was (Thank Odin) seriously injured, due in no small part to a pre-taped warning broadcast from inside the RV, that clearly warned passersby of the bomb’s presence as it recited a countdown to its eventual detonation, the meme itself presents a concern in regards to its assertion, and it is this:

Now for most people, being proven wrong is not that big a deal, especially when their “proof’ to begin with, was a meme featuring an animated fictional character from a 1970’s kid’s cartoon, but as we’ve already noted from my last screed, Mary is not most people. Not even close. Sticking with the theme of children’s entertainment she obviously enjoys, I would dare suggest she’s more akin to one of those Hungry Hungry Hippo toys, but instead of swallowing marbles, she swallows literal insanity instead:

Keep in mind, that as usual, she provides no proof to back up her fevered idiocy, presents no counter-argument for debate, and no rational validation as to why she so earnestly believes in adding yet another crazy-straw to the already burgeoning pile located right outside what I can only assume, is a she-shed stacked to the rafters with home-made tin-foil chapeau. But as the saying goes, you can’t keep a good (mad)woman down, and in Mary’s case, she’s not ever going to let a little thing like actual Reality dare challenge her deepening affection for that which is truly ludicrous:

Let me try to put this overreach into some form of perspective, if I may: Mark Zuckerberg is to Nazism, what Republicans are to Patriotism. That is to say, one has nothing to do with the other, and I’m fairly certain that I could successfully argue the case that fact-checking postings for accuracy within the confines of a private business platform, is at its worst, still a few steps above openly committing the act of Genocide. I know, I know. I have no definitive proof of this, but let’s just call it a gut feeling, shall we?

I’m not gonna lie here, but I LOVE this statement of pure jackassery- how could you not? If the idiocy inherent within is contextualized properly, it essentially states that in order to avoid the unfounded threat of America transforming into a model of communism, we should all vote for the Mad King who patterns himself after the Communist dictators of old, and who would rule as if he were cosplaying Stalin with a dime-store tan. Yep, that checks out on the side of reality, and it doesn’t sound completely insane… at all.

However, thi particular slice of lunacy presents as completely insane, but when you take into account that Mary posts memes featuring fictional characters as concrete proof of conspiracies, her asinine assertion may be just as simple a case of her honestly confusing Microsoft founder Bill Gates with some random villain she saw in a Bond film, which at its core, is both sad, but also equally hilarious. Not to mention, she obviously doesn’t understand how implanted technology works, despite how often she uses it to embarrass herself.

Sigh… no, they don’t, you ignorant dumb-as-f**k-moron. In fact, NOBODY ON THIS F**KED-UP PLANET SUPPORTS INFANTICIDE. NOBODY. NOT POLITICIANS, NOT DOCTORS. AND MOST CERTAINLY, NOT THE WOMEN WHO CARRIED IT TO TERM, EITHER. I seriously have no clue what the hell is wrong with you, but at this point, the only medication that could be utilized to treat it, would be a mixture of Holy Water, Napalm, and electroshock therapy.

For clarity, let me sate that I don’t, on any level, believe in mob justice or politics as a means of conveying ideas, or institutional change. That being said, I also have no problem with those who decide to actively tear down iconographic totems of treason and inhumanity, as the soon to all be removed Confederate memorials represent. If we don’t have statues of Stalin, Mao Tse-tung, Putin, Mussolini, or Hitler lining our streets and sitting in our parks, so why in the hell should we have such blasphemies dedicated to Robert E. Lee, Bedford Forrest, or Jefferson Davis? The only reason people want to keep these seditious statues is to reinforce the notion that White makes Right, and nothing else.

And if you don’t believe me, try suggesting the erection of a statue of Harriet Tubman or Huey P. Newton in their place, and watch how fast these people drop their “But History needs to be remembered”, excuse by the side of the road, as if it were an unwanted puppy, or the child of their mistress.

As you may have guessed from reading this post, there’s something slightly off about it. Other than the fact that states can’t “pull” the licenses of a major television network, as regulating such falls under the chartered authority of the FCC, the source listed for this bombshell is from… wait for it, a KNOWN SATIRE SITE. Yes, you read that right. She literally took an obvious joke post and reiterated that it was factual, but remember boys and girls- the Democrats are the ignorant sheep here, not Mary, the queen of Little Ho Veep’s brainless flock.

Call me cynical, but I have a very funny feeling that if any portion of this were even remotely true, every major news network across the globe would be all over it, including the so-called Liberal Media, which as has been noted, is only as liberal as the conservative corporations that own them. And considering the source of this “bombshell” is a disgraced and disavowed sexual predator now doing his imaginary news show out of his Mom’s garage, I’m fairly certain we can ignore it, just like FOX willingly did regarding the multiple sexual harassment claims against him.

From the article located at: https://www.japantimes.co.jp/news/2021/01/21/national/politics-diplomacy/trump-believers-tokyo/ :

“A small group of Japanese fans of Donald Trump took to the streets of Tokyo on Wednesday, shouting support for the outgoing U.S. president hours before his successor Joe Biden was sworn into office. About 120 people joined the march in central Tokyo, with participants waving American and Japanese flags and holding banners claiming Trump was “the true winner” of the Nov. 3 election.”

Now for those of you who actually can do math, 120 is NOT equal to “Thousands”. Just pointing that out. Not so much for you, but for Mary, who’s ability to count seems to just as well-developed as the one she used to find this fallacious factoid.
Considering that 1984 was a perfect template for Trump’s fortunately botched attempted coup of American Democracy, Mary’s usage of it, as yet another meme masquerading as presented proof in lieu of facts, is quite ironic, to say the very least. And not too shockingly, it’s also false. From an article located at: https://www.snopes.com/fact-check/orwell-1984-predict-covid/ :

“In late 2020, Snopes readers asked us to look into a series of internet memes and social media posts that presented a quotation from George Orwell’s classic dystopian novel “1984” as being eerily prescient of the “lockdown” restrictions imposed by governments throughout the world during the COVID-19 coronavirus pandemic. The quotation, which was in every instance attributed to Orwell and/or “1984,” read as follows: “Everything other than working was forbidden: walking in the streets, having fun, singing, dancing, getting together, everything was forbidden.”

The quotation was not authentic and did not originate in “1984” or anything else written or uttered by Orwell. A search of online versions of the novel does not yield the line included in the memes in 2020, or similar formulations of words. Even if the novel itself were not available to consult, good reason existed to doubt the authenticity of the quotation. For example, we could find no record of the quotation in a newspaper archive that stretches back more than a century, and no record on Twitter or Facebook from before 2020. Given the novel’s considerable cultural impact over the past 71 years, it would be implausible that such a quotable line should supposedly be “discovered” for the first time, in 2020.”

And this is why, boys and girls, that Reading is Fundamental- it keeps you from looking like a complete and total idiot.

I gotta give Mary some begrudging credit here, to be honest. It’s one thing to be individually racist, paranoid, and trans-phobic, but somehow, using only her sense of dim-witted dumbf**kery, and a hysterical example of incompetent Photoshop, she manages to blend it together into a truly rancid mix that proves why certain people holding these fantastical views as gospel, need to be sexually sterilized for the common good, if not their own, but that’s a debate for another time.
In this post of pure prissiness, Mary is incensed that Vice President Mike Pence actually dared to follow the letter of the law, choosing not to be a co-conspirator to Trump’s soon to be enacted treasonous attempt to overturn American democracy. She goes on to claim (without proof, of course) that the duly elected President and VP are “Communists” and that “All ILLEGAL votes are counted!” None of this true, and it’s fairly obvious that Mary, like most conservatives who toss this word round as if it were their self-righteousness, also has no idea what a Communist is, to begin with. Not to mention, there were no “illegal” votes to begin with, because in the end, at least 81M real Americans were sick and f**king tired of Donald J, Trump’s bulls**t.

But there is a bonding moment to be discovered here, believe it or not. Like me, she also despises former AZ Senator Jeff Flake for his spinelessness, except in her case, it’s because he refused to stand in solidarity with her mango man-child, and in mine, because he refused to stand in solidarity against him, until he realized his career in politics was over. And conservatives say there’s no common ground to be found?

Nay, say I.

Moving on, we now find ourselves knee-deep in the favorite litter-box of the Right-wing, that being the fertile field of fecal fallaciousness that is Racism. For those of you new to this Galaxy, the definition of racism is thus: a belief that race is a fundamental determinant of human traits and capacities and that racial differences produce an inherent superiority of a particular race.”  In the case of Liberals, we know this is a truly inhuman and abhorrent belief system, and knowing such, endeavor to end it’s vile reign of error. However, in the case of modern-day conservatives, they openly (and loudly) insist that it no longer exists, so that they can plead supreme offense when they’re caught red-handed engaging in acts of “it”- you know… the thing that doesn’t exist?

Now to be fair, Mary doesn’t espouse blatantly racist views quite in the manner that Ken Cykala, a previous subject of my literary scrutiny does, but she definitely tiptoes around the racist racetrack every now and then, when the need arises. However, much like Ken, she also allegedly has a huge bone stuck in her craw when it comes to the BLM and Antifa protest movements that have either galvanized or divided the country, depending on the intellectual capacity of the person you find yourself talking to. In Mary’s case, these two are the worst boogeymen to come along since Barrack Obama, and most likely- for the same reason.

That being, they make over-privileged and wholly paranoid, White people like Mary and Ken, very uncomfortable regarding the long-overdue discussion of the African-American experience in this country, And when it comes to their realization that Antifa actually stands for “Anti-fascist”, it’s pretty clear as to why most conservatives are terrified by them, given their ongoing support of one. They’re not actually worried about being the victims of violence, they’re terrified they’ll be held accountable for the abominations of Republican policies and actions that they’ve openly supported for decades now.

That’s it in a “nut” shell. No more. No less.

So, to open up this section of desperately escalating White fear presented as faux social concern, I’ll start with this brain-dead nugget, yet another call to arms which in the end, will go unanswered, because if these jackasses fight half as good as they attempt sedition, all of these companies will have seen record profits by now.

This listing of 279 companies that have decided to stand on the right side of Humanity if not History, has been unceremoniously removed from its initial hosting site, but with a little digging, one can still find it floating around the Web, as I did. As the full tally is far too large to display here in it’s entirety, I’ve taken it upon myself to do the legwork for you, and while the companies run the gamut from Ben & Jerry’s Ice Cream to YouTube, rest assured that truly, every one of these companies WANTS YOU DEAD. EVERY SINGLE ONE. NOT SERVICED. NOT HAPPY. DEAD. DEAD. DEAD. DEAD. Because, you know, that’s how companies stay in business- by openly killing off their potential customer base.

My first solid clue? Ben & Jerry’s newest flavor release, “Murder Monkey”, whose label depicts a homicidal primate wearing the infamous Bernie Sanders mittens, as it strangles the GOP elephant to death atop a giant pile of murdered cartoon babies. Those arrogant bastards, thinking that we wouldn’t notice. Well, evil corporate financiers of domestic terrorism, who’s laughing now? Us liberals as usual, because the day I actually have to fear that Pornhub (yep, they’re on the list) is trying to kill me, that’s the moment I will happily check myself into a facility with its very own secured bouncy castle room.

Once again, we see the end result of what happens when one’s intellect is shovel-fed a steady diet of bumper sticker ideology seasoned with racial ignorance. To note, BLM does not “hate” the Police. They just want them to be demilitarized, and trained to handle stressful situations using established de-escalation techniques, rather than deadly force, which is five more times likely to be used against African-Americans, than Whites. Shockingly, it really is that simple. And as for Mary’s staggeringly stupid claim that BLM also hates the firemen and police officers that lost their lives on 9/11, I will only say this- if your head gets any further up your own ass Mary, you’ll be using your belly button as an observation window.

Oh look everybody- the elderly White woman has arrived to tell those way too loud and overly uppity African-Americans what to do regarding their own protest movement, so let us all pay rapt attention to her Ivory tower-launched advice. I might suggest that Mary herself go and talk to the African -American community and learn about the movement from its members, rather than the voices in her head, but we all know she would never do that, because it would take far too much time and energy that she could use to maintain her crusade of ignorance. For clarity, BLM is NOT a community-based charity or assistance organization. It is, as clearly stated in its publicly accessible mission statement, as:

A global organization in the US, UK, and Canada, whose mission is to eradicate white supremacy and build local power to intervene in violence inflicted on Black communities by the state and vigilantes. By combating and countering acts of violence, creating space for Black imagination and innovation, and centering Black joy, we are winning immediate improvements in our lives.

We are expansive. We are a collective of liberators who believe in an inclusive and spacious movement. We also believe that in order to win and bring as many people with us along the way, we must move beyond the narrow nationalism that is all too prevalent in Black communities. We must ensure we are building a movement that brings all of us to the front.

We affirm the lives of Black queer and trans folks, disabled folks, undocumented folks, folks with records, women, and all Black lives along the gender spectrum. Our network centers those who have been marginalized within Black liberation movements. We are working for a world where Black lives are no longer systematically targeted for demise.

We affirm our humanity, our contributions to this society, and our resilience in the face of deadly oppression. The call for Black lives to matter is a rallying cry for ALL Black lives striving for liberation.”

But don’t try to tell Mary any of this. Because not only will she not understand what it actually means, she really doesn’t want to in the end, as losing her fear and gaining wisdom, would really screw up her Boogeyman Bingo game-card.

Now, here’s something candidly refreshing- a crime statistics meme lifted from QAnon, that most non-biased of all the political ideologies, sourced from the Bureau of Justice Statistics, National Crime Victimization Survey. Cherry-picked by our insipid intellectual Mary as a means to justify her embrace of sugared racism, there’s a few things I’d like to point out here. First, there’s no graph position for White-on-White crime, and you’ll notice that the one for African-Americans immediately infers that by definition, they are far more violent than Whites, which if analyzed, is simply not accurate.

A side note- when I was writing about the aforemen6ioned Ken, I touched upon this very subject, as he was fond of posting cherry-picked and entirely false race-based crime stats, in relation to justifying his inherent bigotry. When I did the research to see if he was even remotely close to being accurate, not only was he [to no one’s surprise] off, he was off by miles. The exchange of factual versus entirely bogus numbers unfurled like this:


AB: Try 7.6%. But to be fair, the cops are doing a better job of it than you guys, as of late. And to be fair, you people have been more preoccupied going after immigrants, so I can understand why you’re a tad bit behind your projected numbers these days.


AB: The available data suggests that it’s closer to 9%, but African-Americans also face a fatality rate 2.8 times higher than Whites. Even more disturbing is the statistic that Black victims were more likely to be unarmed (14.8%) than Whites, (9.4%) which sort of bolsters the widely held public opinion that cops are more than happy to shoot first, and ask questions later, when it comes to their inter-racial encounters with the African-American citizenry of this country.


AB: Oh look- finally a category where Whites finally bring their “A” game, as the rate here is 14%. Way to go Caucasians! You’re making us all very proud. And doing the world a favor, by self-removing yourself from an increasingly stagnating gene pool.


AB: The average is 82.4%, actually. That seems pretty high for a bunch of people who supposedly set the standard for following Law & Order, mayonnaise-boy, but I digress. So sorry to see your narrative of Whites being slaughtered by Blacks going out the proverbial window, but that’s the way the racist vanilla wafer crumbles, I guess.


AB: It’s closer to 14.8 percent, but as we’ve seen, your bigotry impairs your ability to do the merest of research, so we’ll give you a pass. Kind of like how your kindergarten class did when you failed naptime, but on the upside, you did excel at eating paste.


AB: Sadly, it’s 90% to be honest. And while with this one Ken did get close, it’s still seven points off his claim, and only 7.6% higher than White on White rates, a fact I’m sure Ken will ignore in favor of his having a case of the vapors at the thought an African-American family might move in next door, and start doing White people stuff without his permission.

And to add to the growing pile of corrected data, here’s another graph showing crime rates clearly defined by race:
Now, while it’s clear that African-Americans appear to be slightly above Whites, they are running almost neck and neck. And let us also not forget that your average White community is rarely prone to suffering the far-ranging social concerns that your typical lower-income minority neighborhood does. Issues such as racial profiling, inequality in relation to sentencing, job scarcity, drug-related crime, economic and educational disadvantages, and the almost criminal under-representation regarding people of color in their local, state, and Federal government.

And yes, these factors should be taken into consideration when issuing these types of asinine blanket statements, but what do I know? I’m just a guy who’s brain actually works, and therefore, I question anything that fits my personal biases as if they were tailor-made for each other. Better to be informed and safe, than wrong and sorry.

In this exchange, Mary combines her anti-masking paranoia and Islamophobia into one bitter little smoothie, and chugs it as if she were Bluto Blutarsky from Animal House, playing a round robin of Beer Pong. And while we know that it wasn’t the Germans who bombed Pearl Harbor…

We still love you anyway.

Isn’t it amazing how much “proof” of pre-ordained nefariousness these unamerican jackasses have managed to unearth regarding their specific delusions as of late? Sure, most of it turns out to be selectively edited, or outright fabricated in the end, but I’m sure that couldn’t possibly apply here, right? So, let’s see…  let’s Google the “author” of this piece, an individual who goes by the name of Tony Carpo, to see just exactly who and what he is. And when I do, what comes up? Well, this slice of blankness:
One reference. Only one. And strangely, no other info regarding this widely distributed posting that’s been seen popping up all over Right-wing media as if it were two rabbits that have been left alone inside a locked closet. Weird, that. It’s almost as if this “Tony Carpo” person doesn’t exist at all. And if it isn’t to be found on Google, it may as well never have. And I say this as the man who easily discovered all those topless pictures of Whitesnake’s femme fatale actress Tawny Kitaen when she starred in 1984’s Grade-Z film, “The Perils of Gwendoline in the Land of the Yik-Yak”, a cinematic gem that nobody I’ve ever mentioned it to, has ever admitted watching or owning a DVD copy of. And for the life of me, I can’t imagine why that is.
Oh wait. Never mind. It’s coming back to me now.

The ironic hypocrisy inherent here is that the very same “American Patriots” who slur their numerous detractors as “Soy Boys”, “Cucks”, and rally around the battle-cry of “Snowflakes”, are the ones most likely to be found jumping out of their thin-skinned hides at the mere mentioning of: legalized abortion, affirmative action, Antifa, atheists, BLM, African-Americans, Mexicans, civil rights, environmentalists, science, equality, facts, immigrants, the LGBTQ community, gun control, the Free Press, reading, Black History Month, climate change, systemic racism, green energy, misogyny, rape culture, defunding the police,  all non-Christian religions, women, the thought of Democracy working as it should, and oh yes, the Starbucks annual Christmas cup.

But to be fair to Trump’s cadre of walking sausage wallets, that list was just compiled off the top of my head, so it’s far from being complete. But since there’s always room for more items, let’s peruse this gem of hatred germinating genius that occurred over a year ago:

I’ve said it before, and I know I will have to sadly say it again, but seriously- how does this dumb b**ch of near Biblical density, not gravely injure herself every time she makes toast? Some background for this click-bait disingenuously disguised as a news story- the idea of Antifa and assorted Muslim groups working in tandem to “Police Minneapolis” wasn’t anything that they themselves openly discussed, or even privately floated among their respective members. Nope, this absurdly paranoiac masturbatory fantasy was put forth into the public eye by a 61-year-old White Republican (naturally) State Representative, who most likely, believes you could kill those of the Muslim faith simply by throwing pork rinds at them.

In June 2020, at a meeting of Minnesota’s Hubbard County Board, of which the initial focus was originally to discuss the disbursement of federal pandemic aid, Minnesota lawmaker Rep. Steve Green (R) allegedly in reaction to the raised question of whether there was an alternative public safety plan, was quoted by the Park Rapids Enterprise as saying that Antifa and Muslim organizations planned to “police Minneapolis under Muslim rule,”, as well as “What you’re looking at, in my humble opinion, is communism moving into Minneapolis and St. Paul,”  and that the state’s Democratic attorney general would like to “close down all of northern Minnesota.”

The vileness of these farcical statements was fomented by dialogue regarding the defunding of police after the murder of George Floyd, who died while in police custody, due to an officer placing his knee on his neck, despite Floyd already being handcuffed, and posing no obvious threat. Green went on to claim (falsely) that specific representatives had drafted a bill that would impose eminent domain on every business destroyed during the Floyd protests, and would “only sell back to people under conditions” imposed by the city.

Granted, while these comments from one of the dullest of the tools in Minnesota’s metaphorical workshop are as ignorantly uninformed as f**k, even I have to begrudgingly admit, I would watch the hell out of the action-adventure movie starring Rami Malek that they would eventually make out of the novelization of it. Sure, I find it pathetically sad that Mary and her ilk are this fearful of everything around them that isn’t based in WASP ideology, but I also have to appreciate how entertaining it will be when Mary finally cracks-up, and starts seeing Antifa and BLM hiding in her underwear drawer. At that point kids, we might have to take away her car keys, and anything even remotely close to falling under the definition of “stabby”.

Heading into the Home stretch, we finally come to the one thing that gives Mary’s life purpose. Is it her sense of religious faith? No, it is not. Is it her love for her family and friends? Wrong again, I’m afraid. Certainly, it must be her intent to make the world a far kinder and better place than it is now. Given her need to continuously reinforce her paranoia and distrust of the World of the Real, I’d opine it is not. Failing all that, I seriously have no idea what it could possibly be, unless I put up several disparaging theories for dissection.

So, to come to some form of conclusive agreement, let’s tick the boxes off the “what is essential to a conservative’s life” checklist, shall we? Paranoia? Check. Unfounded conspiracy theories? Check. Racist views and opinions? Check. Unbridled self-righteousness? Check. Slavishly blind and unquestionable devotion to a corruptly treasonous demagogue who wouldn’t condescend to pi**on his followers if they were on fire, and who encouraged them to commit an abominable act of Sedition? Motherf**kin’ check, and mate.

Like the majority of Trump’s bloviating base, Mary swallows without question, whatever the new GQP cabal decrees as fact for its faithful. To note, this includes the following: Democrats murder newly-born babies, are in league with China, masks are a form of societal control, and not a health  measure, Dems run the machinery of the Deep State, the 2020 election was “stolen”, Joe Biden is the real sexual predator, not the self-confessed mango man-child who was caught on a hot mic bragging about it, and while Hillary still needs to go to prison for life for a series of bogus charges she was eventually acquitted of, Trump, who attempted to overthrow Democracy, should not only not charged for his act of death-penalty-worthy sedition, he should also be allowed to run for the office whose values and integrity he so willingly defiled, once again in 2024.

It’s a shame I couldn’t find an ethical way to monetize this much stupid, because if I had, I’m fairly confident I’d literally die as a Trillionaire, given the well of twattery existent within the USA right now. Folie à deux (French for “madness for two”), also known respectively, as either shared psychosis, or shared delusional disorder (SDD), is a psychiatric syndrome in which symptoms of a delusional belief, and sometimes hallucinations, are transmitted from one individual to another. And quite honestly, I cannot think of a better descriptive for what has occurred under Trump’s reign of error, and what puzzlingly, still continues, to this present moment in time.  

As to be expected, and as previously mentioned, conspiracies theories are a cornerstone of this syndrome, and Mary apparently, believes in all that she can post. Take this fine example, for instance:

Not only is this a prime example of selective gaslighting, it’s also transparently obvious that it is designed to be such. So, to clear the air as it were, I’ll correct the blatant misinformation here, one lie at a time, in order of its appearance:


AB: If it was posted on your page, Mary? It’s probably best not to, That is, if I still want my friends, family, and total strangers, not to think that I’m a goddamn idiot.

AB: Yet another unfounded conspiracy theory hoping to tar and feather Hillary Clinton, it alleges that she single-handedly officiated the sale of American uranium to Russia, in exchange for a large donation to the Clinton Foundation. Unfortunately for the Repubutards pushing this retreaded rhetoric, nobody “got “away” with anything, because no crime on any level was committed. Even Fox News’s Shep Smith has openly debunked this fairy tale, based on the easily obtained evidence that key details were cherry-picked, in order to lend plausibility to the false construct that Clinton gave Russia a sizeable percentage of America’s uranium stores.

When pressed for proof of said “conspiracy” Rep. Louie “Goober” Gohmert (R-TX), of whom it might be charitably described as possessing a family tree that resembles a wreath, showed us all just how insane the GQP has allowed itself to become, when he happily offered this flow chart to Congress as “proof” of an insidiousness of that which had not actually occurred at all.

Jesus Freaking Christ. This resembles either the plot-lines of the last two X-Men movies, but with far less grounded reality, or my sex life during my mid-twenties with dead-on accuracy. Here’s the simplest run-down of what actually happened, free of the moorings of Republican lunacy:

Russia, using the conduit of its State-owned concern Rosatom, purchased the Canadian-held company Uranium One, which at the time, controlled 20% of the US’s volume for producing Uranium. The sale was approved by numerous governmental entities, including Utah’s Nuclear regulator, the US Nuclear Regulatory Commission, and The Committee on Foreign Investment in the United States (CFIUS), which is “an interagency committee authorized to review certain transactions involving foreign investment in the United States and certain real estate transactions by foreign persons, in order to determine the effect of such transactions on the national security of the United States.

And with all due respect, one person, no matter who, is going to have the sway required to influence an amalgamation of such a consortium. Not to mention, that in her role as Secretary of State, while she was responsible for heading an agency involved in the approval process, in the end, Clinton had very little input as to the final decision. The reality being, that in all likelihood, it was a lower-level subordinate overseeing the particulars of the final verdict.

And as to the specifics of the alleged to be controversial donation to the Clinton Foundation, the patron most responsible, the Canadian businessman, mining financier and global philanthropist, Frank Giustra, saw no benefit from said sale, having sold his investment in Uranium One THREE YEARS before the finalized agreement, and more than a year before Clinton was even appointed to serve as Secretary of State. And all of this information by the way, took me less than six minutes to research.

A time-span I might note, which is probably five minutes and fifty-nine seconds longer than Mary needed to obediently believe it.

AB: Both Clinton and the White House were cleared in relation to the unsupported charges, and by the HOUSE REPUBLICANS, no less. I’m sure Mary in all honesty, forgot about that minor little detail. And one more thing? If you cared about the four Americans murdered in Benghazi where no evidence of a definable crime has ever been discovered, but share no concerns regarding the five who died during the Capitol riot, where evidence of multiple crimes was being live-streamed over multiple media platforms, then please take your hypocrisy, and shove it sideways, ASAP.

AB: On the surface, the story is this:  Solyndra was a manufacturer of thin film solar cells based in Fremont, California. Initially, the company was lauded for its unique technological approach, which led to the company securing a $535 million loan through the American Recovery and Reinvestment Act, which is intended to provide loan guarantee authority geared towards building the economic base for green energy development. However, foundational cracks began to form when it was later discovered during a subsequent governmental investigation that Solyndra had engaged in a “pattern of false and misleading assertions”, in which the company asserted during the loan approval process, that its sales were quite strong, despite the fact that they were not.

The company was forced to file for bankruptcy two years later, when due to the unforeseen occurrence of silicon prices dropping, it found itself in the unenviable position of being unable to successfully compete with other companies who were manufacturing their solar panels out of the now far cheaper raw material. The fallout whereas the Obama administration happens to be concerned, is that when warned that financial disaster might lie ahead, the administration persisted unwaveringly in voicing its support for Solyndra.

After the failure of Solyndra, an official report was released, determining that; “Employees acknowledged that they felt tremendous pressure, in general, to process loan guarantee applications They suggested the pressure was based on the significant interest in the program from Department leadership, the Administration, Congress, and the applicants.”

If anything, this series of events reads more like an administration wanting to get an initiative launched in good faith, and due to both the high-stake political consequences if it failed to do so, and quite clearly placing said faith in the wrong people, tried to run the ball far past the point it should have when all started going pear-shaped. When I look at it, it’s not too dissimilar to how I once truly believed, nay advocated, that Indiana Jones and The Kingdom of the Crystal Skull was going to be the summer blockbuster of 2008- this, before I sadly discovered that Spielberg had phoned it in from ET’s home world. The only difference being that my mistake cost me fifteen bucks, and not the going rate for settling defamation lawsuits by Dominion voting machines.

AB: Actually, I think the USA spying on its own citizens is bogus too, so I’m right there with you Mary, I will however, add one caveat, though- the program was launched in 2007, under the… wait for it, BUSH administration, so once again, you can thank Republicans for taking yet another bite out of the ol” Constitution in regards to our personal freedoms.


AB: Once again, not entirely accurate, Mary of MAGAdumb. A program comparable to Fast and Furious was spearheaded by the Bush administration in 2006 and 2007. Called Operation Wide Receiver, its mission was to track sales of weapons that were deemed “suspicious”. It did this by permitting said sales to advance, even when there was probable cause to believe the transactions were illegal in their scope. The ATF term for this, is referred to as “gun walking.” Both programs, which were overseen by the Phoenix Field Division of the ATF, were criticized for their “risk to public safety was immediately evident in both investigations,” as determined in a report by the inspector general. So to say that Obama’s program was something that “they” got away with, while ignoring its Republican genesis, is at best, fairly disingenuous.

AB: This debunked conspiracy theory stems from the revelation that in 2013, conservative groups seeking tax-exempt status which had “tea party” or “patriots” in their name, had been subjected to above average examination regarding the exclusions they were attempting to obtain. Despite the charges Conservatives leveled claiming that a double standard in regards to Progressive groups applying for the same existed, the allegations turned out to be unfounded in the end, as The Treasury inspector general for tax administration, or TIGTA, soon discovered.

Compiling a report at the request of a bipartisan group pf senators, TIGTA found that the IRS had targeted not only conservative groups, but numerous liberal groups as well, that just so happened to have “progressive” in their names. “The far right has been beating a drum for years now that there was a partisan attack on them,” stated Democratic Senator Ron Wyden of Oregon, who was one pf the aforementioned bipartisan coalition, He added that the new report shows “that’s just not true.” Once again, Truth gets sacrificed to the Great God of Conservative Victimhood, and our Mary is more than happy to spread the Gospel according to Liars.

AB: This narrative, comprised of a fever-dream fueled by Adderall addiction, claims that with the complicit assistance of Nancy Pelosi and Chuck Schumer, Barack Obama give an “enemy of the U.S.” (Iran) $150 billion in cash. As with most Republican-emanating “scandals”, this fanciful tale falls flat once light is shone upon it, as in truth, Iran was never given a $150 billion liquid cash payment. As an alternative, billions of dollars’ worth of Iranian assets were unfrozen as a result of Iran agreeing to the terms of a nuclear agreement, formally known as the Joint Comprehensive Plan of Action.

In essence, Iran gained access to assets that were already theirs, and which had been “frozen” in various financial institutions around the world, due to sanctions levied in an effort to place restraints upon Iran’s nuclear program So, to sum up: the claim that Iran received $150 billion in cash is patently untrue, and what they did obtain, was not financed by the taxpayers of America, either. And as an aside, the $150 billion figure bandied about was no more than an estimate at best. However, in a brain-dead move born of petulance and ignorance, so-called President Trump announced on May 8th of 2018, that he was pulling the U.S. out of the nuclear deal with Iran, which had been in the works over the course of two years, which effectively ended American oversight of the Iran’s reasonably feared nuclear development.

But sure Mary… blame the Democrats.

AB: Man, Republicans should really start thinking about writing serialized fiction, since they do it so much. Granted, their plot-lines are unbelievable, but remember boys and girls, this is also the country that supported the production of no less than five “Twilight” movies, so anything is possible, I guess. So, what are America’s most embarrassing relatives claiming happened this time? Well, it’s a doozy, as supposedly, in 1994, Bill Clinton gave North Korea (NK) $5 billion, along with two nuclear reactors, fundamentally giving them the capability to produce and stockpile, their own nuclear arsenal.

Do I really have to tell you at this point, this latest outrage is as fake as Ted Cruz’s manhood?
I do? Sigh… fine. I’ll do it. But I’m going to be really cranky about it as I do.

Surprisingly, here is a grain of truth at the heart of this debunked dipsh**tery, that being, Clinton did broker a deal with North Korea, as the country was building a dispensation facility to produce possibly weapons-grade plutonium.  A goal it reached after processing spent fuel, that it had gleaned from a defunct reactor built while Clinton was governor of Arkansas. Complicating the issue was the fact that North Korea had banned international inspections in its country in 1993, after issuing a decree that it would be pulling out of an international agreement, known as the Treaty on the Non-Proliferation of Nuclear Weapons, of which, NK had been part of since 1985.

In October of 1994, Clinton settled on a deal with Kim Jong Il, who assumed leadership of NK, upon the death of hos father, Kim Il Sun, earlier in July. The terms of the deal were that the United States would help the country build two so-called “light-water” nuclear reactors, solely for the peaceful purpose of assisting NK’s energy demand. In order for the deal to be successfully enacted, NK would have to cease operation of its then-current reactor, stop ongoing construction of two other dubious reactors they said were to provide energy, halt its plans to produce nuclear weapons, submit to international inspections, and in an extremely crucial caveat, NK would have to voluntarily surrender its cache of spent nuclear fuel, once the new reactors were constructed.

In theory, the light-water reactors would make it harder for NK to produce weapons-grade material. The cost of said reactors, was estimated to be around 4B, and would be financed by an international coalition comprised of South Korea, Japan, and possibly Germany, Russia and the United States. This accord, which did not require congressional approval, was denoted as the Agreed Framework. At the time, Clinton hailed it as a conduit, for the easing of in-place sanctions and the opening of diplomatic agreement:

“This agreement will help achieve a longstanding and vital American objective- an end to the threat of nuclear proliferation on the Korean Peninsula,”

However, after George W. Bus was sworn in, the deal started falling to pieces. The US ceased its deliveries of fuel, as NK openly protested that the agreed upon reactors had never been built in the first place. And after the tragic events of September 11th unfolded, it became obvious that the metaphorical center would not hold, as US diplomacy found itself redirected.

Relations became even more provocatively strained between the two countries, after NK was labeled as one of three countries noted in Bush’s 2002 State of the Union Speech as an “Axis of Evil”. In reaction, NK opted out of the Nuclear Non-Proliferation Treaty, eventually conducting its first nuclear test in 2006, which by all accounts, may have spectacularly failed, by the grace of mythical God. In conclusion, Clinton did not “give” NK nukes, although in hindsight, his optimism that they would willingly honor an agreement requiring them to stand down their relentless march toward being a key nuclear power, ow seems incredibly naïve.

AB: Once again, Mary is wrong and at this point-,just really needs to have her internet access taken away, just as she should be, and that, right soon. Preferably to the place that I mentioned earlier, that could provide her a forced medicated berth in a private and secured bouncy castle room. Unlike NK, Iran never had nuclear weapons, as the 2015 nuclear accord it had entered into  with the United States and several other countries, had severely limited its attempts to secure a seat at the nuclear players table.

The deal, brokered by the Obama administration, also required that Iran cease its attempts to enrich its stores of uranium, along with a forced redesign of a reactor under construction that had the potential to aid in nuclear weapon production. In addition to these immutable conditions, Iran would relinquish 14K of its known 20k centrifuges, which are used to enrich uranium, and vowed that future uranium enrichment would not be utilized for weapon development for at least a decade. If Iran broke any of these promises. It would be faced with swift retribution on the form of international sanctions if it dared test these limitations.

So no, Mary… we, as in the Obama administration, did not “give them nukes”.  But thanks to the US pulling out of the nuclear deal with Iran, we lost the ability to hold their feet to the fire as needed, so we may just as well have in the end. However, that flaw in leadership is wholly on your mango man-child, and not Obama, no matter how much you’d like it to be.

AB: 64 court case in a row lost confirmed that was no credible evidence of voter fraud. Multiple recounts in contested states validated the election results. The Electoral College ratified it. Our Congress, despite an attempted coup, certified it. In short- HE F**KING LOST, And as you people were so fond of saying:

“F**k your feelings, Snowflake. Deal with it.”

AB: Considering Trump and the daughter that he lusts after, Ivanka, both committed the same breach of protocol numerous times without consequence, I’ll just ignore this topic altogether, as I see no need to beat a dead horse into dust, as the GQP is apt to do. But I will point out that Hillary ay least, had the stones to face Congress for 11 hours, whereas Trump can only face his critics if he’s twittering behind his unsecured phone.

AB:I can’t even begin to imagine what it must be like to live in a world so fearful and alien to the human experience, that one would feel the need to manifest your paranoia into unsubstantiated charges of being unjustly persecuted by the entities of formless shadows. Herr Twitler by way of example,  was quite fond of falsely claiming that his predecessor, President Barack Obama,  had ordered the FBI to illegally “spy” on Donald Trump’s campaign to win the presidency in 2016.

As usual, the facts centered around this claim have been selectively cherry-picked under the glow of a deliberate gaslight, in order for Trump to market his mendacious martyrdom to his ignorant mass of morons, such as Mary. The truth however, may be far more disturbing, given the events of January 6th, and Trump’s unwillingness to challenge Russia or its leadership on any level, notwithstanding the credible evidence of attempts to influence our elections, and placing bounties on our soldier’s heads.

The covert surveillance, which was cleared by the courts, centered on a former Trump adviser named Carter Page, after the FBI became interested in the Trump campaign’s way-too-cozy relationship with Russian operatives, which, if one was forced to be diplomatic- were sketchy at best, And if you need proof of this, just recall Don Jr, changing his story multiple times, in regard to his meetings with prominent Russians, one of whom it was eventually revealed, was indeed, a KGB operative. Nothing to see here folks, right?

Never mind the fact that his two cosplaying Beavis and Butthead sons gave media interviews where they talked openly about how much money they received from Russian banks, or the fact that Trump himself once stated in 2013 on the Larry King show that he thought that Putin had done “a really great job outsmarting our country”. Then there was also this particular gem in reference to the dictator that our spray-tanned boiled ham wishes he could be: “Russia will have much greater respect for our country when I am leading it than when other people have led it,”

The only thing Putin has ever respected about Donald Trump is his ability to lick the boots of dictators, and his alleged fondness for underage girls, and that’s it. But remember- Donnie is the real victim of unwarranted persecution here, as always. However, as to where his narcissistic narrative is concerned, his claims, like most of what he says, don’t hold up under scrutiny. There is zero evidence showing that Obama abused his authority, or directed how the FBI observed the machinations of the Trump campaign,

So, once again Mary? Please shut the f**k up, because you’re a goddamn cultist, and the depth of your stupidity, is seemingly bottomless:

AB: Damn. That’s a serious threat… or it would be if it were even remotely close to being f**king true, which it is not, One day, I’m going to introduce my good friend Mary to this internet resource called “Google”, and pray that they hookup for good, as it would be nice if she could manage to go five whole minutes without embarrassing herself.

The first clue that this is false, is the fact that that despite being having the date when the alleged quote was uttered, there is no further context regarding as to where Harris supposedly stated it in the first place. A deep-dive of Google reveals that the “quote” originated from a sardonic website that goes by the moniker, bustatroll.org., and was mentioned in a perceptibly satirical article titled “Kamala Harris: ‘After We Impeach, We Round Up the Trump Supporters’” that had been posted on their site.  I’d like to point out that this is not the first time Mary has blindly posted obvious satire on her page, [as I noted during the “fake news” section of this blog] and Odin knows, given her prideful ignorance, it won’t be the last.
AB: I’m highly suspicious pf this statement, given my belief that if Mary has a personal library, it’s comprised mostly of flash cards and pop-up books. And what’s with the phonetic spelling of “de struct tion” as if you’re *Latka Gravis? I know understanding reality is beyond your grasp, but English is literally your Mother-tongue, so what the hell? And while the CCP reference is ironic, given Trump’s track record of allegiance to China, it’s also laughably hypocritical in the end, at best. But you are definitely right on the money (this time) about there being a lot of uneducated people. It’s just so sadly hilarious that you unknowingly happen to be one of them.
*[Latka Gravas is a fictional sweet-natured and lovable-but-goofy mechanic on the TV sitcom Taxi, and was portrayed by the late Andy Kaufman.]
AB: Hell yeah, they did! And so did a variety of other social media platforms as well. Bizarrely, a wide swath of people don’t generally like it when you openly betray your own country, and then advocate for others to do so as well, especially when you’re the so-called leader of it to begin with. Weird, that. But don’t you fret, you’ll always have the memories of all those Nuremberg-style rallies to sustain you through those dark days ahead as  your seditious movement becomes even more politically irrelevant.

AB: Yeah. Nobody who’s sense of Patriotism still works correctly, honestly gives a f**k what you think about the prosecution of a traitor, considering that you and your ilk should be sitting in the dock next to him, as complicit enablers. And in a truly just world… you would be. And who truly knows? Maybe you still will.

Well, the question this poses is one hell of a metaphorical Gordian Knot, isn’t it? Who to trust in relation to the suggestion that the United States Military intervene with the electoral process taking place within a democratic society, is most definitely one heck of a pickled Pandora’s Box, let me tell you. Should I go with the men of honor, who between them, have decades of hard-won experience and overly-honed critical thinking skills, or should I trust the bats**t crazy judgement of a mango-tinted man-child who thinks windmill noise causes cancer, stares directly into a solar eclipse, and honestly believes that he couldn’t have lost the election, because the voices in his head told him so? 

I honestly have no idea who I should listen to here, but my gut tells me that maybe I should go with the actual military commanders, instead of the guy who consistently tweets that he could be one, from atop a gilded toilet. And as an aside, I’d also point out that as a democratic and free Nation, such an action is more reminiscent of a Banana Republic, due to its blatant illegality and all, than America itself. Which is probably why Mary’s cool with it, being an ardent supporter of seditious leaders and all. But only of course, if her guy is the one that gets the prime slot.

Can you all excuse me for a moment? (Turns off laptop, looks around, takes deep breath, and… wahahahahhahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!!!! Turns laptop back on.)

Sorry, I needed that. So, let me get this straight- the guy who claims the Bible is his “favorite book”, yet can’t quote one single thing from it, who never goes to church, unless he can pose outside a burned-down one while holding its owners’ manual, that he’s never read, and who practices misogyny, bigotry, narcissism, sexual assault, sloth, greed, pettiness, lust, wrath, gluttony, and envy as he consistently bears false witness, after raw-dogging a porn star as he cheats on wife number three, and who infamously, once said that he doesn’t regret his decision not to ask God for forgiveness for his sins, because, and I quote the penitent man himself:

“I have great relationship with God. I have great relationship with the Evangelicals, I like to be good. I don’t like to have to ask for forgiveness. And I am good. I don’t do a lot of things that are bad. I try to do nothing that is bad.”

And this arrogant son-of-a-bitch who’s breaks almost every one of the Ten Commandments on an hourly basis, is now “listening” to the one true God?

Now, this is just sad.
Normally, I’m all for not losing friends over politics, as I have several of them who are quite entrenched in non-crazy conservative land, (Yes, such a place still exists) but even I will draw the line when I start noticing that their casual wardrobe contains far too many pairs of gasoline-scented khakis, that they always seem to be carrying way more tiki-torches in their car, than is required for an impromptu parking-lot luau, and if they keep complaining about how the “Juden” run everything? That’s definitely the time for them to go, post haste.

But in Mary’s case, I get the feeling that the act of culling her friends list is almost a process independent of her, as there’s no way this noxious nitwit has ever had friends who are on the right side of Humanity, if not History, right from the get-go. However, the fact that she willingly retains  one friend who’s named themselves “Eddiespagetti Truthranger” is, in my humble opinion, definitely worth the price of her spending all that time inside the world’s densest combination of echo chamber and safe space.  

And as for longer being in “teaching mode”, Mary? Trust me… you’re teaching us a lot more than you could ever possibly know.

Oh, the explanation for this post is something I’ve been enjoying for quite some time now, but before I tell you why, let me tell you what its root cause is, and that would be what every noble conservative on Facebook truly hates and fears, as it is also the one thing that by itself, keeps them up at night, cowering as they curse pointlessly, bathed in the eldritch glow cast by their mom’s borrowed cellphone screen. What is this scourge that conservatives talk about, albeit in hushed tones, as they hide in the shadows of the Internet?

Fact-checkers. Or as Cult 45 calls them, “the censors”. They have several other names for them of course, but as I try to be polite, I won’t list any of them here. As is to be expected, there are the inevitable comparisons to the NAZI’s of course, but that assessment has to be called into serious question when it comes from the very same persons who believed it was perfectly acceptable to be part of a cult of personality, who fly a flag of treason next to their bastardized version of our American one. This, as they rioted futilely, in a desperate bid to commit an act of sedition:
This is not to declare outright or subtly imply, that all Trump supporters are NAZI’s, but all NAZI’s are most definitely Trump supporters. Just saying. The literal definition of fact-checking is “the act of confirming the truth of (an assertion made in speech or writing), often as part of the research or editorial process.”

For most of us, that’s a pretty cut and dried valuation, no? But for the dimwitted deplorables that comprise the fan-base that is Trump’s seditionist servile, it’s not so simple a solution. In their eyes, they’re being unjustly targeted, and outright banned from various social media platforms for telling the truth, even though I can easily attest, that I get unwillingly observed 3-day vacations just as much as they do. Even when non-partisan-based research proves that they’re wrong, they refuse to accept it at face value, and fight against the reality, as if they were being viciously mugged by random members of the Wu-Tang Clan.

And do you honestly think you can reach a person who’s so entrenched in their idiocy, that they’d feel perfectly comfortable wearing this in public, using an intellectual argument?

To be fair, it’s not really that shocking that a bunch of gullible schmucks who mainline conspiracy theories with the same casual frequency that Motley Crue’s Nikki Sixx once did Heroin, would feel this way, but c’mon- how many times does somebody need to be proven wrong, before even they have to admit to themselves that maybe, just maybe, they might have picked the wrong banner to fight to the metaphorical death under?

For some people, that answer is “never”, as evidenced by the morons who are still walking around claiming that Donald Trump is legally still the President, and who openly state that no evidence presented to them, regardless of what it is, or where it comes from, will ever change that steadfast conviction of Faith in a man who possesses not a single trace of it..

Let that sink in for a minute. No matter what evidence is presented, they’ll ignore it in favor of their alternate reality, and I am sad to say, that’s not how the Universe works- if it did, I’d finally achieve that threesome with Milla Jovovich and Angeline Jolie, taking place in that Jacuzzi full of Cool Whip, that I’ve had on the drawing board and playing on an endless loop in my head, for the last 15 years.

Therein lies the rub- for all of their talk and rampant posturing regarding how much they want to be exposed to the “truth”, these cultists react to the purest examples of it, very much in the same way that Superman would react to Lois Lane, if she requested he wear a Kryptonite condom on their wedding night. The reason for this disconnection from rationality is quite easy to explain, if one looks at where most of these purposefully ignored minority of the conservative sub-set hail from, that being the purgatory that exists somewhere between their being openly mocked, and deliberately avoided, whenever possible.

Pre-Trump, these disciples of all things extremist and asinine, were easily dismissed with no more than a steely glare, an over-dramatic eye-roll, or in the most severe cases, an official complaint to one’s HR department. But come the 2016 election, the commonest of the rabble found themselves emboldened by their new champion, a man devoid of humanity, compassion, tact, intelligence and class, who espoused whatever bats**t crazy lie came into his head at the time, and they loved him for what he represented. Not fresh ideas and policies, for he had none to speak of, and not for the promise of a new era of American prosperity and influence, either.

No, what they loved, and still do I might add, are his dog-whistles, his racism, his misogyny, his disdain for intelligence, honor, truth, and compassion, his xenophobia, his bigotry, his sense of faux Christianity, his gas-lighting, and his blatantly blinding hatred for the same people they hate as well, Namely, those who are better educated, more successful, open-minded, compassionate, literate, questioning, and whom actually live their Faith, not the tainted version offered up by the modern-day Conservative movement. And emboldened by such, along with his rhetoric, they came out from under their rocks, as if they were vampires emerging into an eternal night.

To their dismay however, when they did claw their way up and out, not only were they unable to go all the way with their plans to turn America into a Banana Republic version of Salem’s Lot, they found that the majority of its citizens were clad in shimmering Silver, armed with Holy-Water-loaded Supersoakers, and the halls of its most hallowed institutions had Glade garlic scented air fresheners plugged-in every five feet. Undaunted, they screamed at the night sky, only to find to their slowly dawning horror that the eternal night OAN predicted, was just a particularly dark and overcast day, and as the rays of the Sun broke through, found themselves either forced back under those very same rocks, or mewling online that Facebook was biased against the Undead. 

I’m obviously kidding of course, as we all know that these morons don’t have a clue, much less a plan, as the debacle on January 6th clearly indicated beyond a shadow of a doubt. Speaking of which, this leads into the last thing I’ll be addressing regarding Mary in this screed, the reason why her posts were/are disappearing off her page. I’m almost embarrassed to admit, that I may be partially responsible for that. Sort of. In a way. Even though, I can’t directly do anything, as I’m “blocked” from her page. Ergo, I don’t have the capability to report or alert Facebook about the numerous inaccuracies and falsehoods that are allegedly posted on her page, even if I wanted to, and trust me- I would definitely want to.

But that doesn’t stop other people from doing so, and then telling me about it, via other conduits open to me outside of the clearly defined boundaries of Facebook, and its associated social media platforms. And those very same people, other than providing me with raw source material, also keep me informed as to what they had gleefully, and rightfully, reported to FB’s fact-checkers, be they human or programmed algorithm. Granted while this amusing interaction has provided me a two-part story-arc, and more than a few chuckles at her expense, my interaction is exceedingly limited, both by comparison and Facebooks own profile protection protocols.

However, I’ve been informed, and that more than once, that my efforts in confronting other conservative nincompoops had inspired them to do the same. And the best part? If the former president-in-name-only and definite seditionist. couldn’t be held responsible for inciting a deadly riot that saw one cop murdered and four of his deplorables fully embracing Darwin’s Law, then most certainly, I can’t be held liable for other people taking it upon themselves to call cultists goddamn jackasses, as they report fraudulent postings in tandem, now can I?

So, as to the reason why your inanity is vanishing off your page Mary, I’ll hazard an educated guess or two, as the thoughts strike me. First, when you signed up for Facebook, you agreed to follow their clearly stated rules, one of those being the following: Facebook reserves (and has) the right to remove any or all posts that violate its terms, and your pre-approval regarding this process, or FB giving you prior notification, is not required. The boundary line for undertaking this action is delineated into the following categories, and if the removed postings so happen to fit within the following definitions: targeted threats of violence, personally threatening speech, such as “doxxing”, violent or offensive imagery, or what could be reasonably considered “hate speech”, along with the expected push-back against sexually explicit imagery, as well.

But as of late, there’s been a revitalized attempt to quash the spread of malicious misinformation, whether it be political, medical, or cultural, and because conservatives are seemingly the main source of such, it’s driving them absolutely insane. Keep in mind, they themselves, have stated that they don’t care what Reality says, as what matters to them is what they believe to be so, and in regards to the accuracy of what that is, they could honestly care less, as long as the ability to weaponize it, can be utilized efficiently.

And the most obvious reason for those said missing posts Mary, is quite simple- there’s a multitude of people who are happily reporting your idiocy as fast as you post it, and then, in an act comprised of pure schadenfreude, randomly sending me the captured screencaps of it. You know, because if there’s anything us Liberals enjoy more than watching you scream your bumper sticker ideology to the empty air, it’s having an unexpected laugh at your expense. And given your devotion to the seditionist who would sacrifice you in a heartbeat to save his own skin, we’re going to be laughing at you and your unamerican ilk for quite some time.

You wanted to make America great? Or at he very least, instill your twisted version of what you think American exceptionalism is? You failed. We however, started the process by kicking your president’s ass to the curb, and then we’re done disinfecting the White House, the reckoning of holding accountable every single one of you treasonous bastards begins, and that guarantee is set solidly in the Constitution of the country you failed to usurp.  

We’re going to do to you what you and Trump tried to do to our Democracy- count on it. And if I were to offer some form of cautionary warning regarding what’s about to befall your pathetically mewling movement, I’d quote the book whose teachings you guys fail to follow, and that your president uses as a prop.

From Revelation 20:11-15: “Then I saw a great white throne and him who was seated on it. The earth and the heavens fled from his presence, and there was no place for them. And I saw the dead, great and small, standing before the throne, and books were opened. Another book was opened, which is the book of life.

The dead were judged according to what they had done as recorded in the books. The sea gave up the dead that were in it, and death and Hades gave up the dead that were in them, and each person was judged according to what they had done. Then death and Hades were thrown into the lake of fire. The lake of fire is the second death. Anyone whose name was not found written in the book of life was thrown into the lake of fire.”

I wonder where your name is jotted down, Mary? In its pages, it’s margins, or on the Post-it note God’s going to toss once he’s done using it as a temporary bookmark? Someday you’ll find out, I guess, as we all will. But my gut tells me that where you’re most certainly going won’t ever need to provide you with a coat, because you’re never going to experience being cold ever again.

“Here’s an easy way to figure out if you’re in a cult: If you’re wondering whether you’re in a cult, the answer is yes.” – Stephen Colbert, I Am America