Wayne Michael Reich

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Wayne Michael Reich
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Month: October 2021

The Ruth is on Fire. (Oh, The Racists You’ll Know!)

“Better to remain silent and be thought a fool, than to speak, and remove all doubt.” – Abraham Lincoln

“Give me a man or woman who has read a thousand books and you give me an interesting companion. Give me a man or woman who has read perhaps three, and you give me a very dangerous enemy indeed.”
– Anne Rice, The Witching Hour

Greetings, Bitchiteers!
How does the day find you?

Mind, that’s not me asking how you are, although I do hope you’re okay overall, but more of a serious question as to how Life manages to track you down, no matter how many steps you’ve taken to get off the grid and go full dark, as the cool kids in Seal Team Six like to say. Thanks to the advent of social media, tracking anyone down these days, is as simple a matter as using Google, or for those of us who still like to go old school, await Karma to send us the occasional unexpected gift every now and then.

This approach, even during those times when we really don’t deserve it, no less, is generally how I go at situations, for after all, one man’s bad Karma is another man’s Karmic reward, thank the stars, and all that. For despite my inherent cynicism, and ongoing health issues, or maybe because of them, I’d willingly assert that in general, I have pretty good Karmic balance, as the rule of the scales go.

There’s a saying that the mythical God never gives you more than you can handle, which if even remotely true, indicates that he has far more faith in me, than I will ever have in Him. Sure, at the moment, I’m currently undergoing a series of Intravitreal injections to combat Diabetic-related swelling and micro-aneurysms in my left eye, but that’s more the fault of my body to an autoimmunity, ant not to any lack of individual trust in a Bronze-Age theology orchestrated to fleece the ignorantly superstitious masses.

However to be fair, if granted the option to either surrender my mental indepelyndence to a sociopathic deity or remain a free thinking individual, I’d still rather go with the procedure that’s just as pleasant as it sounds, as this graphic… well, graphically illustrates:
But hey… *gehen groß, or gehen heimat, as my late Oma was fond of saying. Granted, I’d rather gehen heimat, but given that my back-up plan would be to slowly go blind, I think I’ll stick with the not-bad-at-all side effect of marginal discomfort for now.  
*[
“Go big, or go home.”]

Interestingly, it seems that today’s soon to be scribed about subject and I are currently sharing a common experience in regard to singular vision issues, and whereas my long-term treatment has been sited in the hands of competent ophthalmologists, my newest BFF has decided to hedge her bets, and additionally place hers in the hands of the very same deity who laid this malady upon her to begin with:
Call me a crazy cat lady in training, but of I could ever meet this “God” who cursed me with Diabetes, I sure as f**k wouldn’t thank him for it not succeeding in successfully killing me yet- just saying. I’m staring to get the feeling that if Ruth here was ever told about women being abused by their partners, she’d probably suggest that the battered should thank their batterers, for not crippling them for life.

This is obviously an inappropriate joke at best, but it does, yet again, raise a pertinent question that I’ve been repeatedly asking for a little over a year now, and that query is:

“SERIOUSLY… WHAT IN THE F**KING HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU, LADY?”

Regular readers are already quite familiar with Mrs. Seawolf here, as I’ve previously highlighted her past history of unhinged and inane commentary, ranging from labeling beloved American actor Tom Hanks as a pedophile within her Instagram account, to presenting a sense of religious zealotry so prevalently vile, that given the choice, I’d rather be trapped in an elevator with Joel Osteen, as he discusses the sin of avarice… for four hours.

I’m not even kidding, for if I picked up a copy of the Silver City Daily Press tomorrow morning, only to find that much in the way of the doomed Heaven’s Gate Cult membership, that her lifeless body was discovered draped with a singular purple cloth, clad in an ensemble of a black shirt with matching sweat pants, black-and-white Nike’s, and an armband reading ‘New Hope Revival Church Away Team’, I wouldn’t be surprised at all.

Nevertheless, given her penchant for self-righteous online rants concerning the “New World Order” and the “End of Days”, truly, the only thing that could possibly shock me at this point, would be the fact that she wasn’t laid out under a “Trump 2024” flag, instead.

In addition, and also the one item most likely to be found on the bedside table, next to her never-read-all-the-way-through copy of the Bible, would be a singular tome from the ever-so-wretched collection that her spiritual leader, one Pastor Caleb Cooper, has sadly blathered into the world of self-published books, as well. But that’s just an educated guess, based only on… well.

However, my snark, caustic as it is, in no way, shape, or form, should be taken as an intent to mock or delegitimize Ruth’s valid terror at her ongoing eye issues. After all, this is one thing that affects her that I myself, can directly relate to, and I sincerely hope, that it all works out for the best in the end. That being said, with honest grace and social charity, the rest of her ramble is just absurd, to say the very least, and that’s me being nice.

See, with no pun intended, Ruth and I are literally in the same boat. Her symptoms, [given by God, remember] may have cleared up, but so have mine, and I never prayed once to her reigning deity of sociopathy. In fact, it’s quite common for floaters as it were, to settle themselves out of your affected field of vison, and it’s not due to the weight of God’s divine hand upon your oculus, it’s due to the force of Gravity acting against the vitreous fluid within.

How do I know this? An actual ophthalmologist with a white lab coat and multiple degrees on the wall behind him, told me so. And if one looks closely at what Ruth’s doctor said to her between the lines, it’s quite literally, a carbon copy response to the medical assessment that I received. As an addendum, my vison is also improving from what it was two years ago, my retina is still there as well, and I won’t require surgery, as long as the regimen I’m currently undertaking, continues to work.

Oh, and my “floater”? It’s still there as well, so to recap, I, without showing submission or gratitude to the deity who granted me this “gift” out of the good of his so-called heart, still received the very same celestial grace that ol’ Righteous Ruth was the beneficiary of, with none of the effort that’s supposedly required. And if I were to play Devil’s advocate, [pun definitely intended] I’d suggest that if Satan was truly behind her ocular distress, then this means that her all-knowing God, LET IT HAPPEN, which either makes him an accomplice to the act itself, or powerless to stop it in the first place.
Feud for thought as it were, although given Ruth’s reference to the fictional Garden of Eden, I’d have to seriously doubt that she’s ever been the recipient of one that wasn’t spoon-fed to her first. And as to the nonsensicalness of her “I crush your head” comment? Kitten, if God himself hasn’t managed to keep his own creation in any form of check since the Garden, I cast serious aspersion against the thought that a middle-aged histrionic harpy such as yourself, is going to do anything more than scuff up his horns, at best. 

The eternal Prince of Darkness, versus Silver City’s reigning hypocritical Christian Drama Queen? Oh yeah, that’s going to be a tough one for the bookies in Vegas to call. But I like your moxie, kid. Therefore, I’m gonna lay a fiver down on you… to be the first person that Satan has ever sent a gift basket to, for all the inadvertent recruiting you’ve been doing for his side as of late.

Because if you like to hold yourself up as the modern-day paragon of what Christianity now represents, I can assure you, that most rational people would gladly spend eternity dog-paddling in the Lake of Fire, rather than risk spending so much as five minutes on a celestial cloud, with the likes of you. Not because you wouldn’t keep your Cumulus tidy or anything like that, it’s just that spending one’s divine reward with faux believers, really isn’t the prize that you think it is.

This particular observation of mine aside, I’ve been focused on my writing as of late, happily composing a number of blogvellas, covering topics ranging from the increasing madness of the rapidly devolving alt-Right morass, to the plague of religious zealotry and bigotry, which is sadly still infecting our citizenry, if not their already limited capacity for intellectualism, as well.

As Ruth is currently being set in my own concoction of venomous snarkcrete, the focus of my screed will be happily focused upon her. However, I would be remiss in my charter, if I didn’t introduce you to some new friends, and touch base with a few old ones, as is my way. If I have to list one positive about the modern-day political climate, it’s that it spits out story ideas faster than I can pounce on a box of chilled Ding-Dongs, and trust me brothers and sisters, that’s an equivalent of speed that would make Space=X turn green with unchecked envy.

The conservative cornucopia is literally a Mobius strip of density, and if I were to draw a comparable analogy, it, for a writer, is akin to owning a production facility that churns out magical lamps.

In the past, I’ve highlighted some truly stellar deep-thinkers within my community, such as Ken Cykala, who sees BLM activists hiding in the closet where he allegedly stores his very special 3AM. front-lawn surprise BBQ robes with their matching hoods, along with newer Artbitch scratching posts, Walter L Cook Sr, and Richard “Ricardo” Leyba, who underscore with searing clarity, as to just exactly why we so desperately need to secure perpetual funding for both access to birth control, and the public school system in this country.

But to kick off this side-tangent before we get back to the main course, I’d like to reintroduce you to a previous Blogvella subject, noted flag-hag and Trumpian troglodyte, Nick Lemme. Nick, who’s only claim to fame is that he sports a “F**k Biden” flag in the front yard of his home, located directly across from a school, which only helps to cement my prior opinion about the value of public education, is also a guy who spends a lot of personal time oiling his boom-stick, if you know what I mean.

That is, he’s seemingly one of those paranoid guntards who, because they lack impressive hardware between their legs, attempt to substitute for it with pin-ups from the Smith & Wesson catalog, instead. Here’s the deal, though- while I do fully support the 2A, I also support the strict control of firearms in general, not only for the common sense of doing so, but because of people like Nick, who project the attitude of “I wish a mother would”, while also mewling that they’re the “real” victims of unwarranted aggressive idiocy

Add in his front yard hissy-fit inadequately substituting for informed political commentary, and it becomes clear as to why this country still needs to remind people that you really shouldn’t try to make toast while sitting in the bathtub. On the upside, at least he’s living up to the pre-determined expectation of being that public embarrassment his father always knew he would be. That is, if he actually knows who his father was to begin with.

I’m sorry. That was exceptionally rude of me. For all I know, Nick’s parents could be lovely people. It’s really not their fault that they inadvertently spawned what at best, could be regarded by many as a barely sentient can of AXE body-spray. For all of his patriotic posturing, Nick is what my dad used to refer to as a “gun-fellating f**ktard”, which in retrospective review, makes me feel quite sorry for the gun itself, because mythical Lord knows, we’re all acutely aware where that mouth of his has been as of late- kissing Trump’s porcine ass. And no, I’m not referring to Don Jr.

It’s cringe-worthy enough that Nick slithers through life cosplaying as both a functioning adult and as a man, but when it comes to his sense of faux patriotism, the “urk” factor literally quadruples. In fact, here’s an example of our “real American Patriot”, lavishing praise on a domestic terrorist, and no… I’m not talking about Donald Trump, although the moniker would fit far better than one of his China-made suits:Amazing isn’t it, that a member of a political party that incessantly bleats about how much it respects law enforcement, the responsibility of the 2A, personal property rights, and the Rule of Law itself, seemingly has no problem chucking all those ersatz ethics aside when they’re rightfully depicted as the bad guys?

For the record, the domestic fanatic that Nick probably fondles himself to the memory of, eventually wound up causing over $7M dollars in property damage, as he fired upon police officers and innocent civilians alike, before weaseling out and killing himself like the f**king coward he was. So, given all that, it should come as no surprise that a gasbag like Nick allegedly idolizes him. I for one, cannot wait till that fateful day when he finally dons his camo and ammo, hoping to go out in a blaze of gory, only to take himself out of commission when he accidentally sets off the gun in his dick holster.  

One can only hope. And then, laugh about it for hours afterwards. It’s kind of like when Nick gets laid, except in this scenario, he won’t have to inflate his partner first, and his gun-oil would be used for its intended purpose, for a refreshing change of pace.  It should also come as no surprise either then, that Nick is just as well-versed about the ongoing pandemic as well, and as is the case with the always wrong Right, compares common sense health protocols, as being akin to the horrors of the Holocaust.
For the record, the only thing that is similar to the Holocaust, is THE ACTUAL F**KING HOLOCAUST ITSELF, AND NOTHING ELSE, YOU DICK-BRAINED DUMBASS. However, Nick doesn’t have the exclusivity on being such, when it comes to the lack of intellectual capacity that plagues modern-day conservativism, and he’s most certainly not alone either, when it comes to holding some abominably stupid beliefs, such as fostering the festering of Racism.

Take for instance, this lady of loveliness, one Darlene Gardner Rinker, who espouses the GQP long-held assertion, that not only is inherent racism not an issue, but that they themselves across the board, couldn’t possibly be racist as well. And to prove it, she posted the following not-disturbing-at-all meme to underscore her POV, although to paraphrase Inigo Montoya; “I do not think it means what you think it means”:

Those of you whose souls still work the way celestial Nature intended them to, may have noticed a few subtle takeaways from this completely rational declaration pf “I am SOOO not a Racist, but…” ,

Speaking as someone who prides himself on having a fairly decent grip on effectively utilizing the most descriptive terminology to be found within the spectrum of the human lexicon, I’d have to admit this tone-deaf act of self-ownership has done that which I thought was darn nigh impossible- it literally made me speechless for close to ten minutes, which I’m certain, has not happened once, since I was born.

Let’s start with the most revolting aspect that jumps out at us first, that being the representation of not an American ideal as one might expect, but instead, one glorified by the death-cult facet of the 40’s era NAZI party. What better way to sensitively address the volatile issue of your own alleged ant-racist views, than by depicting a foot soldier of the * Einsatzgruppen? In her limited defense, I can only assume that Darlene found herself unable to find a copyright-free image from **Völkischer Beobachter depicting Jews being slaughtered wholesale, so I guess I’ll digress, and cut her some slack, instead.
*[SS Killing Squads] **{Official NAZI Newspaper]

The second point of interest regarding this Aryan Nation flyer made flesh, is the venomous White Privilege emanating from every single pore of her Caucasian call to arms, not that she’d characterize it that way, I’m sure. The amount of whiningly confirmed racism on display here, is truly epic, if only for its own lack of recognizance, and that’s saying a lot, so I’ll try to boil it down to the candies bitch-slap, as it were, by dissecting this tripe line by line:

“started blaming my race…”
This faux indignation presented by the very same hypocrites who call African-Americans protesting for social justice, “Thugs”, and who seemingly, also have no problem with cops murdering them in the streets, as if they were rabid dogs.
“political affiliations…”
This unintentional joke, shared by a person who regards BLM as no less than domestic terrorists, yet possibly sees the January 6th seditionists as true-blue patriots. But please. Carry on. .
 “erasing my history and started blaming my race…”
Translation: How dare you remove statues of traitors, slave-traders, and the bigoted gentry that purposefully wove racism into the very fiber of America’s soul. Now, please shut up, you uppity you-know-what’s, as I can’t bear your valid discourse overriding my own unfounded self-victimization.
“if you were well off or poor…”
Yeah. We already knew that, given how you fight against paying people a living wage, while screaming that the 1% needs yet even more tax breaks,
“because I worked harder…”
Translation: You Coloreds have no work ethic. That belongs to us alone. And if you would, please ignore the advantages my Vanilla-toned skin automatically grants me, as you have no idea of the burden it has to carry.
“beliefs were different…”
This judgement given to us all, by a person who’s main thought every time they get called out for their inanity is; “This is what happens when you allow our former property to be considered as whole persons, and not just as 3/5’ths of one anymore.”
“My patience and tolerance are gone…”
I’m sure they are, Jan. Because if anything, your unblemished adherence to displaying both with understated humility, is obviously the singular characteristic that the fellow members of your lit-by-Tiki-Torches Book Club, have found to be ever so appealing. .

Now, on the surface, I’d be the first to surmise that one bigoted statement does not a racist make, especially when its removed from any context, and I’d be in the right to say so, but fortunately for my narrative, this triple-K Karen believes strongly in the concept of living your White lie in the public eye:  
Isn’t it amazing that all of these first-hand testimonials always come from anonymous sources? You know, “a doctor”, “a nurse”, “a talking aardvark”, and the like. However, when you take into account how truthful the GQP is regarding the actuality of any issue, there’s probably nothing here to challenge on its face.

Speaking of one’s face, and more to the point, spreading egg all over it…
I tells ya, there’s nothing more unintentionally hilarious, than watching three elderly White people slur organizations they don’t understand, by assigning to them not only what their reason for existence is, but also for what it isn’t. Why does every bigoted bonehead believe, that Black organizations are a catch-all for every African-American related concern? Oh, that’s right… research is really hard to do, when you’re otherwise occupied trying to hide your pathetic paranoia under a veil of supposed moral superiority.

Or maybe, as the example below shows, they’re all just having a collective stroke, which would explain why this conspiracy salad reads less like a political statement, and more like an aneurysm in progress.:
I’ve gotta give it to Grandma Goebbels here, for when she starts pearl-clutching, she does so in a way that cuts off the flow of blood to that sink-sponge she wittily calls a brain, and I say this with the utmost respect. As a rule of dumb, most alleged racists are generally less intelligent than a pile of in-use urinal cakes, but this gal has managed to go full septic-tank, without even breaking a sweat.

Never let ot be said however, that just because someone possesses all the appeal of a vanilla and rancid mayonnaise cookie, that they don’t have a definable sense of humor, I’d hate to sell them short, even if by doing so, I’d seamlessly match their maturity and overall IQ:Oh Darlene, you are a Caucasian’s Caucasian, that’s for damn sure. Managing to take one of our nation’s most revered songs, and in tandem, turn it into a racist and xenophobic slur, in just one take. I can only assume that if you were ever to attend one of those 3AM front lawn BBQ’s I was referencing earlier, that your eventually given nickname would be “Boss of the Burning Cross”.

But Darlene won’t be the only person sitting around the ol’ Caucasian conflagration, no siree Bob. She’ll have plenty of company, as the racist rats who tar and feather, most certainly, like to stay together:

This right here boys and girls, is why you’re supposed to open up all the windows in your trailer when you spray-paint your new living room set. Man, conservatives may not be smart, empathetic, tolerant, intellectually curious, or good people overall, but they’ve clearly got buckets of class to spare. Granted, that class most likely has the word “remedial” in front of it, but it’s still class, nonetheless.

I can only imagine what her lawn decorations would look like, if an African-American family moved in next door, can’t you? Oops. My bad. Did I say “lawn”? Sorry, If a Black family became her neighbors, something tells me that she’d hang the decorations in a tree instead, because you know… tradition?

And as conservative custom dictates, when you’re called out for espousing such immature incivility, just follow the tried n true method of projecting your own faults onto the people you despise, regardless of whether you can make your case or not:  There’s a saying that; “When you point a finger there are three fingers pointing back at you”, and nowhere is this maxim proven to be more accurate then whereas the GQP and its Cult of 45 are concerned.

The exception to this rule, being that when a conservative points a finger at you, they might as well be an octopus. And stepping up to show us all what a squid might sound like, if it interbred with Richard Spencer, is one Dale Pruitt, who combines ignorance, misinterpreted economic data, and political paranoia into a one-man ad campaign for promoting either sexual abstinence, or condom usage:I love it when these twats use political terminology that they can’t actually define, don’t you? And how about that subtle wish for harm directed at two politicians that this ass-clown couldn’t tell you anything specific about, save for the overriding fact that he knows he’s supposed to hate them for some indeterminable reason?  Truly, a sage for the age.

Individually, these wounded warriors of White Pride don’t amount to much, and face to face. most have proven to be outright cravens at best, regardless of how many memes they post, stating otherwise. If I had a dollar for every single time I witnessed a “declaration” or “warning” of an upcoming civil war they wish to one day participate in, my goal of acquiring a vinyl-clad battalion of Milla Jovovich clones, wearing thigh boots, would have been achieved quite some time ago.

So, just fir fun, let’s take a look at some of the ever-so-intimidating “threats” and cautionary notices postured online by those who’s fear of the culturally transitional, ranks just as high as the common knowledge that if a civil war ever did break out, they’d be the first ones on the bus, fleeing to Toronto: Man, if you guys fight half as well as you debate, boycott, or attempt political coups, not only can we kick all of your asses with ease, we’ll do it while sitting on the couch. And if you would be so kind, could you actually describe in specific detail, what is currently occurring that falls under your definitive of “communist”? We’ll be waiting, as I’m sure you’ll need to find that answer out for yourself first.

This message of candied badassery and projected self-incrimination, brought to you by a man who when the “war” kicks off, will be found cowering under his mom’s bed, wearing a sundress, but I digress.Actually Leroy, I don’t know what you mean, as it’s been made pretty clear that God doesn’t approve of killing just for the sake of killing, and secondly, because your grammar presents itself as haven been composed while in the middle of inter-cranial surgery. And if there is a Heaven, which there most certainly is not, you’re still not getting in, as God has gotten sick and tired of you acting like you and he are tight.The only comment that I care to make regarding this Penthouse letter from a wannabe Soldier of Fortune that Nick posted, is this: you did not “fight for peace”, unless you served in WW2, as every war since, has been about making a profit for a few, and serving as a detriment to the progress of humanity in the end.  And may I commend you on your strategic brilliance as well, for making direct threats towards the general public on one of the world’s most scrutinized social media platforms, is nothing short of the purest of genius.

And if there ever was a singular image that screamed out loud that at least one of these two poseur Patriots has a spawn-hammer so small it’s virtually invisible, if not inverted, this one that was combined with the above idiocy would be the one, I assure you:

Maybe it’s just me, but I miss the good old days, when man-boys like these tow testicle-free-twats, used to masturbate to a Playmate’s “big-O” face, and not to photos of ordinance. Why the military didn’t hold onto you longer, given your skillset for remaining within the clandestine shadows, will be the conjectural debate that scholars will ponder for millennia.

The secretarial pool’s loss will be the alt-Rights gain, I guess, as only time will tell, as to just how deep hour f**king personal idiocy goes. Good luck using those menial militia skills of yours when the actual military shows up, and swiftly reminds you and your bigoted brothers in arms, as to why you all work for Subway, and not with Seal Team Six.

I think it’s fair for me to state, that in all of my 52 years of walking this giant f’d-up ball of granite and space-dust, I’ve never seen such a level of emotional and logical disconnection between my fellow humans- outside of the normal stressors to be expected, that is. When conspiracy theories, whispered rumors, and insane sociological experiments gone awry, are afforded the same respect towards their dissemination as facts once solely had, you just know that the species is signing its own death warrant, and giggling as it does so. 

Fortunately for Ruth, my chew-toy of the moment, that unavoidable detail doesn’t seem to bother her one bit. In fact, she almost seems to be looking forward to it, with a glee that I’ve only experienced whenever I get to metaphorically flay alleged wackadoos like her to their allegorical spines. Granted, while she’s not walking down the street, proudly wearing a sandwich board heralding the “End of Days”, she really doesn’t need to, given her access to social media, where her character flaws are displayed for all to see, and mocked mercilessly by many.

And this assessment doesn’t come from me alone, for Ruth herself, is quite fond of playing the victorious victim, as she dually complains about her self-created pariah kingdom, and then happily wallows within it, as its resident martyr:

I’m going to go out on a limb here, and declare that this redemptive fiction of Ruth’s is par for the course, as she consistently seems to suffer indignities of her own device, and then almost immediately, is graciously rewarded by her sociopathic deity for being a truly (pardon the pun) god-awful human being. You know, just as reality is known to work? I don’t know what color the sky is in Ruth’s world, but I can most certainly assure you that there, unicorns are readily available for adoption.

I will wonder aloud nevertheless, as to what benefit Ruth feels this farcical posting grants her as the owner of two small businesses, since publicly admitting you hold ignorant v9iews that cause potential customers to shun both you and your trade work, doesn’t normally add to a strong economic quarter. I can just imagine the sales pitch:

“Hi there! I’m a possibly mentally unstable self-righteous zealot, who believes in Satan, the Deep State, the New World Order, the End of Days, various and insane conspiracy theories, such as Lady Gaga being a member of a pedophilic sex cult, and I want to be your hometown real estate broker and insurance agent.”  
What I also particular enjoy within this fantasy narrative of hers, is the implication that her imaginary antagonist, is the one naturally in the wrong here, and hot herself, which is also one of Seawolf’s standard deflection tactics when she gets called out for her well-honed persecution complex. Always the victim, never the victimize, regardless of the actuality of the situation at hand. Another point of disingenuousness that Ruth excels at, is her thin as onion skin support of the “local”, a position she openly holds, as long as she’s not inconvenienced by having to do so, that is.

I touched upon this ambiguity in a past blogvella [“Hatertriot Lames Pt.2”] regarding her penchant for public spitefulness, but this newest meltdown is a doozy and a half, if not only for the unfounded claims that she made, but for the fact that she felt the need to go on Facebook as well, in order to spread her slander even further, and without justifiable cause:In the interest of fair play, Seawolf did remove this posting eventually, but it was still up for more than a few hours, spreading its message of spuriousness within a small business community where reputation is the key to continued growth and success. And for what reason?

Well, as it turns out, the small business in question experienced a software “glitch” in regards to their credit card processing, a normally minor issue which was later unfortunately compounded into a much larger one, by an internal error committed by the host bank, which accidentally settled the resultant CC batch as it were, no less than three times, according to my sources.

So, if you had ordered a five-dollar latte, you later found yourself inadvertently charged fifteen bucks for it instead. Annoying? F**k yes. Fraudulent? F**k no. And when it comes to Ruth’s “recollection” of how the handling of it went down, her take on it, versus that of the people who were witness to it, vary widely, if I were striving to be diplomatic, which I am not.

Essentially, rather than just accept what was a genuine apology and an obvious solution at face value, this bile-swilling drama queen decided instead, to dive deep into her pathetic sense of persecuted prissiness, and go full “Karen”, because that’s what you do when you’re a 12-year-old spoiled brat trapped inside the body of a middle-aged Christian sacrificial cow.

And just as we’ve come to expect from a modern-day cafeteria Christian, Ruth has yet to apologize for her bout of social Tourette’s, because as we all know, Luke 6:31, And as ye would that men should do to you, do ye also to them likewise”, is really more of a guideline, than a hard set rule for today’s histrionic hypocrite on the go.

Take note if you would BTW, that she was so secure in her claim of victimhood, that she felt the need to “turn off” the commentary on her post, which I’m sure, had nothing to do with the fact that she was getting publicly and solidly lambasted, for her displayed idiocy. Valid criticism, as we shall see, is something that Seawolf handles just as well, if not more so, as her propagation and understanding of the Truth. I swear, Ruth abuses Exodus 20:16 so often, I’m actually quite surprised it hasn’t sworn out a restraining order… yet..

So, let’s all just forget that she posted this once, if only not to cast valid derision concerning her faux devotion to selflessly following the tenets of the Faith she claims is sacrosanct to her life:

After all, I wouldn’t want to embarrass her beyond what she already does to herself, as I’m cool like that. Not to mention that given enough time, Ruth will feel compelled to atone for her immaturity, and offer up a very public apology as a means to repent her sin of arrogant petulance. But then again, maybe I should just hold out hope I’ll get that flying car I’ve always wanted, because that seems far more probable than her ever admitting fault for the repercussion of her actions.

However, I don’t want to not give credit where credit is due, especially as to what some of Ruth’s finer qualities are, and the one thing that I will praise is the fact that despite her numerous personality quirks, she doesn’t’ seem, unlike those others that I discussed earlier, to possess what could be considered a racist bone whatsoever, in that collective slug-pile she wittily calls a body, and that’s actually something we should all laud without question.

I’d offer for the that this is most likely due to a lack of repeated exposure to true diversity, rather then an adherence to the tenets of her hypocritical faith, but I could be wrong, as all things are possible. In fact, I’ll go one better, and willingly state that I’ve never seen anything that she’s posted that has ever had a racial undertone to it, and that’s the Gospel tru… wait a sec… what’s this?Sigh… for the love of f**k’s sake Ruth, couldn’t you have thrown me a bone, so I could at least say one, just one, nice thing about you for a change? I meant, I’m flexible, but ya’ gotta meet me halfway here. For those of you who may have forgotten, George Floyd was an African-American, who was coldly and deliberately murdered by [former and now-convicted] Minneapolis police officer Derek Chauvin, who caused Floyd’s demise by kneeling on his neck for close to ten minutes, as Floyd lay immobile and handcuffed, face down on the tarmac.

Floyd, who had a rather extensive criminal history, was suspected of attempting to pass a bogus 20 dollar bill, which led to his eventual interaction with the badged sociopath who slew him, and his murder set off worldwide protest across the globe, from social justice advocates alike who demand police accountability, to those who believe that the police who are sworn to protect us, can do no harm, and should be immune from prosecution when they do.

Gee, I wonder which side Ruth aligns herself with, given her self-declared status as a so-called Christian? If only there was some additional evidence indicating where she truly stands, but alas, all we have is this:I so do wish that there was a definitive line in the sand, signifying what the reality of her belief is, but in lieu of further evidence suggesting a tone-deaf cultural bias, it will remain a mystery for the ages, I’m sad to say. But I do like how she still managed to rake a critically relevant social concern, and marginalize it into an ersatz soapbox for the purpose of promoting a myth.

Regardless of Floyd’s past history of criminality, being put down in the manner of a rabid dog, goes against every f**king thing that Seawolf’s celestial savior supposedly stands for. Adding further insult to unnecessary injury, she hypocritically claims this;
… as she seemingly, takes joy in the destruction of a commemoration to a murder victim, which I’d surmise, are hardly the optics that her so-called God would ever reward her for tying him to. This is not to say that Ruth directly holds any bigoted views that are based solely on ethnicity, but if I were Jesus, I’d have sued her for false representation half a dozen times over by now, just to avoid the stigmata of guilt by association.

So, in her own words; “I believe everyone has a right to bear arms and defend their home and family BUT as a Christian, I personally do not believe ANYONE has a right to take a life. Only God has that right”, yet when a man is unjustly executed on the street by a person entrusted with the public’s safety without the benefit of a rial for the apparently unforgivable crime of passing a bad double sawbuck, Ruth just shrugs her shoulders, and invokes her savior’s name when his memorial is laid waste.  

You may not be an actual Christian in word or deed, Ruth, but you sure as Hell are one soulless bitch, and that’s a title no one will ever be able to take away from you, of that I’m certain.

Adding further weight to her indifference to other people’s suffering, here’s Ruth’s brain-dead assessment regarding the January 6th insurrection attempt, inflicted upon our democracy by the traitorous caste of MAGAts, to whom, Ruth grants a Capitol Halls pass of sorts, based on what I can only infer, is a relatable form of kinship:And who are “they”, that desires this secular cultural upheaval, you may wonder? Why, a rogue’s list of villains, of course. N namely, the Democrats, leftists, Antifa, and naturally, the newest of boogeymen, BLM. And since Ruth can’t articulate this fallacy for herself, here’s her cut and paste declaration instead:

Normally, this would be the part where I’d lay down some savage snark as a rejoinder, but given how f**king insane this delusional overview is, by saying that this was somehow a “false flag” operation, despite all the hours of self-recorded and I might happily add, self-incriminating video willingly taken by Trumpeters, a myriad of news agencies, as well as the general citizenry, along with the other evidence uploaded to Twitter and Facebook Live by the same, I’ll just have to let such speak for itself.

 As the scope of its absurdity is far more eloquent than my commentary could ever be, any attempt at doing so on my part, seems almost redundant. Mythical JFC, Ruth, I’ve had the displeasure of meeting some mentally twitted people in my time, but you are truly the closest epitome to the phrase, “f**ked in the head”, that I’ve ever come across.

It’s bad enough that you as an alleged Christian, still support a mango Mussolini who represents not one iota of what you believe, it’s bad enough that you look forward to the fabled Armageddon, but just how f**king stupid must you be that you regard showcasing your willing ignorance as if it were  an act of pride?
For the record, this is not a sterling example of mature rationality, nor is it a sign of a functioning adult- these are the dribbled ravings of either a brain-damaged cultist, or an intellectually-stunted child, to whom, I can honestly apply such a descriptive, as regardless of whichever one you choose to run with, it will fit like a tailored glove.

Case in point, yet again:
On the surface, this may seem like no more than yet some supplementary evidence of Seawolf’s inane zealotry, but it takes a slightly humorous spin when you remember that her primary businesses are selling REAL ESTATE, and PERSONAL INSURANCE. That’s right… the woman reminding herself, and by logical extension, us, that this world is not her/our home, makes her contradictory living not only selling earth-bound homes, but the non-celestial indemnification to protect them, as well.

But don’t worry folks, for when Satan comes to rule over the earth as Ruth’s alleged favorite Bible chapter Revelations decrees, rest assured, that he’ll most certainly honor all of those fiduciaries she brokered during her stay here. Correspondingly, if she also truly feels that she need not “conform” to this world and its ways, based on the erroneous belief that an eternal reward awaits, then why does she demand that this world bends to hers?

I’ll speak only for myself here, but if I’m just happen to be passing by a vegan restaurant, you won’t see me stopping the car, walking on in as if I own the place, and loudly start mandating that they put a Veal Parmesan special on the menu. Just saying.

However, Ruth and the assumed voices in her head, know far better than us black-hearted heathens, what’s really going on, which I can only guess, is just one of the numerous advantages of being besties with God. Emboldened by this unique insight, Ruth generally displays no fear when giving her unsolicited, unhinged, and unfounded, opinions, and freely speaks her supposed mind, despite all blatant indications that she really shouldn’t.

Whether it’s promoting the never-occurring accomplishments of an impotent President;Or comparing said morally bereft president to Jesus Christ, despite his being the one person having more in common with Judas Iscariot himself; far more than anyone else within his notably corrupt admiration. And while I have previously posted this particular meme in an earlier blogvella, I feel compelled to do so yet again, because it’s just too goddamn insane not to enjoy twice;
Alao making its second appearance, is this ill-informed critique, concerning one of today’s most popular entertainers, who remains mostly unknown to Ruth, save for what she’s heard about them on FOX and OAN. And since we’re all here, let’s take a moment to appreciate the delusional skill-set necessary to amalgamate pedophilia, Satanic worship, and Politics, into a declaration that foreshadows just why her future bedroom will most certainly, require padding from floor to ceiling:

Since we’ve all witnessed the depth of Ruth’s grasp on the aspects of pathogens, it might seem somewhat churlish of me to mock her even further, but hey, what’s the point of being called “Artbitch”, if I didn’t practice my craft?  I tells ya, this crazy-ass wench does write the best unintended comedy, and someday, I may need to get her something really nice for doing so.

Maybe someday, I’ll pony up my petty cash, and buy her a nice psychoanalyst along with a pair of pliers to pull that crayon that as a kid, she jammed up into that stale pack of communion wafers she calls a brain. But until that glorious day arrives, enjoy yet another slice of half-baked lunacy loaf, buttered only with the finest blend of paranoid zealotism:
If you’re ever compelled to try and truly understand just how goddamn malleable to outside influences Ruth’s intellect is, keep this particular post in mind. Not only is she quoting a talking-snake-oil salesman who received his deaconship training via an online school based out of Mesa, Arizona, she does so willingly, to the point of unfathomable absurdity. And helpfully, after beseeching her fellow wackadoos to “pray over your body everyday”, she’s prescient enough to list the components that might require it

Even though, as I’m sure you all noticed, she didn’t specifically list their brains, because to be fair, most modern-day Christians cut from her cloth, don’t really use it all that much anyway. And as if I summoned her, using only the power of her false God’s name, and the reading of the product inventory of a Hobby Lobby by candlelight, Ruth comes along to prove my point yet again:
And keep in mind… this person is freely allowed to drive, handle sharp objects, buy a gun, breed, and vote. Just as if she were a functioning human being, which at this point, should make some of us considerably concerned for the safety of not only the ones closest to her, but to anyone she dislikes as well. Other than the fact that the majority of ideas expressed within this psychotic break from reality have been widely and openly debunked, such evidence means nothing to Ruth, regardless of what source provides it

Now, we all know Ruth has internet access. We all know she understands English. And we all know that given enough time, if not personal determination, she could do her own research and attempt to back up her typically half-assed POV. But it is Ruth we’re talking about, so we already know that’s not even a remote possibility whatsoever. Especially when she purposefully ignored what was posted with the news story she purported as accurate and factually occurring:
Please take note that are no less than FOUR different sources listed, proving that Ruth is not only dead wrong, but subtly indicates as well, that she should have just admitted that she was, swallowed her bitter pill, and move on to the next faux outrage that catches her obsessively delusional eye. But as expected, being wrong isn’t ever Seawolf’s fault, nope, it’s the world’s media outlets that are incorrect, along with the person who pointed out her arrogantly incorrect mistake in the first place.

Nevertheless. when it comes to incorporating compulsory derangement into her everyday life, few can best Seawolf’s acumen for doing so. Take this modest example, wherein Ruth envisions a sinister correlation between the benefits of a decreased murder and self-harming incident rate, and what else, the Global Cabal that controls everything, albeit the prices of Doritos, to just how many bottles of Sudafed you can buy at one time:Reading her comment regarding an “ulterior motive”, literally makes me feel that I’ve dipped into Ruth’s magic medicine cabinet, and gorged myself on her stash of crazy pills. I mean, she’s “against” murder, as if it’s a publicly supported thing, and by that notation it could be assumed, suicide as well, but this news of positive change makes her unjustly concerned, regardless?

Yep… that makes total sense. Decry the destructive acts of murder and suicide based upon your faux faith, but criticize the methodology in which they’re being successfully nullified. For f**ks sake Ruth, and with all seriousness, could you select a consistent opinion, and F**KING LAND ON IT, FOR ONCE?

Speaking of consistency, and the lack thereof, Ruth’s opinions on the moral choices of strangers, which have zero to little bearing on her own wretched life, ring even more hollow, when you factor in her near-sociopathic penchant for posting debunked conspiracy theories and wished-for falsehoods based on Machiavellian machinations so intellectually thin, that even super male model  Derek Zoolander could follow the narrative, and that dude can’t even turn to the left.

Given Seawolf’s numerous public displays of a rapidly declining grip on reality, some of you might suggest that I should go “easy” on her, but that’s simply not going to happen. The only thing pompous jabberers like Ruth respond to is being dragged out into the light, and between you and me,, I plan to shine a spotlight on her focused so goddamn tight, that it’s going to make the chastity belt Ivanka Trump wears whenever she finds herself alone with her father, feel as if she’s gone commando in a hurricane. .

Now, exactly why Ruth feels entitled to conceitedly judge others, as she concurrently whines when the same happens to her, is not that hard to figure out. After all, she purportedly is one of God’s chosen, and therefore, as someone anointed in the magical blood of a celestial zombie as it were, she has the moral high ground, if I were to hazard a guess.

So, let’s start off with that Christian alt-Right classic, the unforgivable sin of legalized abortion, and how, despite the reality of what Science says, and the fantasy of what the Bible stipulates, it’s nothing less than cold-blooded murder. And who better to inform us all of this “fact” than Ruth’s Poseur Pastor? With all due asceticism, there’s no opinion we should trust more than one that comes from a member of the opposite gender that will never be tasked with the burden of making that most difficult of decisions, let me tell you:Maybe someday, one of these cafeteria Christians will be able to tell me that even though their deity said NOTHING about abortion in the Bible, and tries naught to stop it, despite his being theoretically all-powerful. So, given that he supposedly is, just why do his followers feel chartered to carry out his nonexistent obligations in his place? Come to think of it, why would the celestially residing Architect of Al,l place any form of trust in his most flawed creation to do the right thing to begin with?

After all, it’s not like us talking monkeys have an excellent track record in regards to that sort of thing. Sure, I understand his wanting to be worshiped 24/7 thing, but if I had created the Universe entire, I’d like to think I’d make my presence directly known every now and then, in order to make things better overall, for my favorite pet project, don’t ya think?

Weird that our Heavenly Father so-called, seems completely powerless to affect the direct consequences of the decisions made by the end product of his substandard engineering, if I were to be so bold in my random ruminating.

And as an aside, if you’re going to take a moral stand, you probably shouldn’t quote the of the founders of a country=y who just so happened to own slaves, and who enjoyed a level of respect and social privilege afforded to him by his status as a wealthy White male landowner.,. you know, the ones that unlike women then and now, don’t have to worry one iota about having their reproductive rights relating to the concept of personal body autonomy legislated?

But who knows- maybe Jesus is ultimately cool with having men dictate the uterine interludes of close to half the world’s population, and his dad just forgot to annotate it. However, like most instances where conservatives fail to either prove their case or score points by the use of crafted falsities or cherry-picked quotes from a fantastical fairy tale tome, Ruth relies on the time-honored act of deflection, by comparing two dissimilar philosophies, and then declaring them as akin to identical twins:

Considering that the clearly stated mission of PP has nothing to do with what Seawolf demands a resolute answer to, I’ll try to overlook her pathetic attempt at drawing a false parallel where none obviously exists. Kind of like how the GQP demands that BLM be held solely responsible for repairing the social disparities of the African-American community, as conservatives actively work against any progress they try to make in doing so.
And as to the statement of “And then come tell me that pro-lifers are the ones that don’t care for children after they’re born”, all I can say is; “Yes… you don’t care. And now, I’ll tell you why.”

If you actually gave a damn, you wouldn’t cut their food, housing, and medical assistance, as you actively underfund their education, paint their parents as over-breeding parasites, and ignore the ever-present specter of teenage pregnancy, when it’s your ilk, gathered as a hypocritical collective, that denies said at-risk demographic, unfettered access to birth control and sexual education resources, such as the ones that PP provides, but I digress.

I could also point out that if abortion was truly the issue you were concerned about, versus the obvious one instead, which involves your wanting to control and punish women for their continuing resolve in determining what they do with their own bodies, then you’d have zero issue adequately funding the tools required to safely and supportively, end the practice, once and for all. But let’s face it… you do, and its as wretched as your blatantly faux self- righteousness concerning it.

Here’s the rub, Bub- if you keep claiming that you can’t be “forced” to take the COVD vaccine for the greater good, then guess what? You don’t get to demand that women as a whole, acquiesce to your will for the same reason, either.

And since we’re talking about what Women in general, are allowed to do without the need or prerequisite to ask permission from total strangers first, let’s cast some light on what advice Ruth believes they need to hear from a middle-aged White woman who’s so well-known in my town for being a tight ass, that the rumor of DeBeers using her as a diamond manufacturing facility, once they find a way to switch her diet from consistently eating crow, to occasionally swallowing lumps of coal, seemingly more plausible, day by day:You heard it here first, you hedonistic hussies- you can’t truly represent God if he can see your Devil Dumplings, even if he’s the one that originally designed them for you, just a heads up.

Sure, those angels who look like babies can fly all over Heaven without a stitch on consequence free, but you’ve got to remember that if you do get sexually harassed or assaulted, based on the bullshit that you were “asking for it”, remember, it’s not the man’s fault for doing so, but yours instead, for daring to think that you have the birthright to walk around outside of your home unmolested.

And you know deep in your heart, that this advice is sound, because it was reposted by a woman who most certainly, was a virgin when she got married, and continues to dress herself as if she were a couch ordered directly from the discount section of the Hobby Lobby website.

Not to mention, we should all ponder on what the Bible says the role of women is as well, in order to provide some moral guidance to today’s disrespectfully carefree modern woman. Take Titus 2:3-5, for instance: “Older women likewise are to be reverent in behavior, not slanderers or slaves to much wine. They are to teach what is good, and so train the young women to love their husbands and children, to be self-controlled, pure, working at home, kind, and submissive to their own husbands, that the word of God may not be reviled.”

In other words: “Shut the f**up woman, get your ass in the kitchen, and make me a sandwich.”

Building upon this theme, is this delightful slice of misogyny, straight from the small dick energy that is the passage of Timothy 2:11-15: ”Let a woman learn quietly with all submissiveness. I do not permit a woman to teach or to exercise authority over a man; rather, she is to remain quiet. For Adam was formed first, then Eve; and Adam was not deceived, but the woman was deceived and became a transgressor. Yet she will be saved through childbearing—if they continue in faith and love and holiness, with self-control.”

I’d happily point out that Ruth ignores every demand within this edict, but as we’ve seen, she’s a Christian very much in the same way that I was an understudy for Daniel Craig in the last four 007 movies.

Wrapping up this train of disingenuous thought,  there’s also Proverbs 31:30; “Charm is deceitful, and beauty is vain, but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised.” Timothy 3:1; “Their wives likewise must be dignified, not slanderers, but sober-minded, faithful in all things”, which when presented with Ruth’s allegedly consistent bearing of false witness, also counts as an affront to her purported deity.

And who of pure faith could ever forget Corinthians 14:34-35; “The women should keep silent in the churches. For they are not permitted to speak, but should be in submission, as the Law also says. If there is anything they desire to learn, let them ask their husbands at home. For it is shameful for a woman to speak in church.”” The underlying takeaway from this of course, is that Ruth herself, has been a very bad girl, according to the very Word she claims to follow, but obviously, hasn’t either read, or ignores outright.

However, the clearest indicator of how Ruth’s religion, fueled by ignorant chauvinism, “values” women overall, is best summed up by this passage from Genesis 3:16: ”To the woman he said, “I will surely multiply your pain in childbearing; in pain you shall bring forth children. Your desire shall be for your husband, and he shall rule over you.” But hey… that’s what you ungrateful bitches get, for Eve’s sin of eating that apple God placed directly in front of her, despite his knowing exactly what was going to happen when he did so.

Nevertheless, ignore all that, as you need to go home right now and change out of that whorish outfit you decided to arrogantly wear in public, lest the menfolk within eyesight, start sinning unabashedly after seeing your mommy marshmallows. I wonder however, whether I should feel either offended or gratified, that at no point in my entire life, that I, if not most men for that matter, have ever been instructed as to what I should or shouldn’t wear.

Outside of my girlfriend politely suggesting that perhaps, wearing my well-loved Deadpool on a Unicorn t-shirt, might not be the best thing to wear to a funeral, but you get the gist of what I’m saying. Although I still maintain to this day, that my Uncle Frank would have loved to see me sport this at his wake, and with no small sense of pride, I assure you.I’ll happily admit that while it’s been ever so much fun mocking the numerous deficiencies glaringly evident as to where Ruth’s lackluster efforts to successfully pass as a functioning human being are concerned, they pale in comparison when weighed against the public perception of her within the small town where I currently reside.

Openly considered by many as being arrogantly judgmental, woefully uniformed, hilariously hypocritical, somewhat prone to paranoia, susceptible to the most ludicrous of conspiracy theories, and most certainly, bordering on the edge of religious extremism, she, as the evidence collected throughout this particular screed has shown, is far more likely to be criticized than canonized for her idiocy veiled as religious expression, and she is well aware pf this, hence the perpetual state of her claimed victimhood.

And in relation to her Teflon-coated grasp on the reality of modern-day politics, these postings of hers I think, only grounds my ongoing assessment of her intellectual inanity, that more securely:Finally, the truth comes out! The supposed billionaire who’s infamous for committing fraud, filing multiple bankruptcies, and whining like the candy-assed bitch that he is, worked for us, the American people, for “free”, because as we all know, when you’re known for stiffing charities and your workers alike, your sense of moral obligation to the greater good has to make itself known at some point, right?

Never mind that Trump, who claimed throughout his failed presidency that his tax filings were “under audit”, only did sp because he made more money using the office as a grifting tool, and didn’t want to show the American people his taxes, due to the falsehoods contained within that would be put on display for all to see. No, we should all ignore that fact, and instead believe that he ran only out of a sense of moral obligation to clean the metaphorical swamp of “filth”, which truly, is a noble act of service,

Especially given his lifetime of self-serving avarice. perversion, and cowardice.  Call me crazy, but for some strange reason, I don’t think a guy accused of 25 counts of sexual assault, who was caught bragging about such, as well as his attempt to “nail” a married woman on tape, and who publicly vomited his desire to “date” his own daughter, should ever be held up as the chosen one tasked with carrying the torch of moral righteousness.

Unless of course, you truly believe that repeated instances of adultery, and paying off the pornstars he raw-dogged with a personal check, as his second wife and ex-mistress was at home recovering from the birth of their first child, somehow deserves style points. And as a courtesy, I won’t even address his intimate connections to five well-known pedophiles, or the fact that his administration had one of the lowest rates of conviction regarding the act of sexual trafficking, in recent presidential history.

I can only wonder, given the staunchness of Ruth’s moral metronome, what she must have thought when her mango love-crush was asked about Ghislaine Maxwell, the former girlfriend and alleged procurer of eventual victims for the late sex trafficker Jefferey Epstein, and he responded [over two interviews] with;

“Her friend, or boyfriend, was either killed or committed suicide in jail. She’s now in jail, Yeah, I wish her well. I’d wish you well. I’d wish a lot of people well. Good luck. Let them prove somebody was guilty. I’ve met her numerous times over the years, especially since I lived in Palm Beach, and I guess they lived in Palm Beach. But I wish her well, whatever it is, I do wish her well. I’m not looking for anything bad for her. I’m not looking bad for anybody. Her boyfriend died. He died in jail.”

To be fair, he did later attempt to nullify his remarks by notating that he knew Epstein; “like everybody in Palm Beach knew him”, adding that; “I had a falling-out with him. I haven’t spoken to him in 15 years. I was not a fan of his, that I can tell you.” Now while the circumstances behind their estrangement have never truly been clarified, it’s been alleged that Epstein’s eventual banishment from Trump’s Mar-a-Lago resort, was because he had made an inappropriate advance on the teenage daughter of a club member.

Sure, Jan. I can buy that.

In fact, it’s quite believable to think that the man who once boasted to a journalist that the 14-year-old girl he had just been talking to, would be dating him in 10 years, because that’s the type of thoughts you should have relating to a child when you’re 52, as he was at the time, and who originally said of Epstein in a story published in New York Magazine;

“I’ve known Jeff for fifteen years. Terrific guy, He’s a lot of fun to be with. It is even said that he likes beautiful women as much as I do, and many of them are on the younger side. No doubt about it – Jeffrey enjoys his social life.”

I’m going to just come right out and unabashedly say it- I for one, can’t think of anybody better qualified to drain a swamp, than the person who was content to use it as a prey-ground, until he realized that the moral mud within it, made it damn near nigh impossible to sell it’s brackish water to Evangelicals such as Ruth, as the purest of tonics. That’s just my informed opinion, for what it’s worth. Which ironically, still holds far better resale value than any of the delusional bullshit that comes out of the dumber than f**k screeching maw, that Ruth calls her mouth.

Despite her propensity for being possibly more useless than a bag of broken hammers, there is however a line in the sand that even Silver City’s resident doyenne of density wouldn’t dare cross, no matter what:
Man. That is some serious laying down of the law there, boys and girls. Truly, a stronger declaration of personal integrity has certainly never been uttered like this before, and to be honest, I almost feel kind of bad that I’m about to take it out to the allegorical woodshed, and go full-on Ed Gein all over it.

At the moment, the only thing that all of the unwarranted audits and recounts have proven, and that, beyond a shadow of a doubt, is that Joe Biden still won the election, Trump is a whiny-ass bitch, and that pathetically clutching jackasses like Ruth, are the primary reason why plastic grocery bags still require a printed warning not to put them over your head.

I particularly like her assertion that; “if Trump had won by cheating, lying, fraudulent acts, and deceit, I would definitely not be proud of the win, and would seriously rethink my candidate”, a declaration so hypocritically inane, that even the mythical Satan himself, is impressed at the brashness of its blatantly ignorant facetiousness.

With no due respect, you wouldn’t “rethink” anything Ruth, as you’ve never possessed the ability or the slightest acumen required to undertake the act of thinking to begin with, as evidenced in your slavish devotion to both a fictional sky-daddy, and his cravenly contradictory opposite, a self-invented mango messiah, lauded by outright morons, of which, I consider you to be in enthusiastic alignment with.

The reality s it were, when it comes to your self-declared thinking skill-set is this- if his well-known and well-explored, track record of business fraud, money laundering, sexual predation, adultery, bigotry, false fabrications, treason, disloyalty, and attempting to overthrow the democracy of the United States by using his personal cannon fodder, that being dumbf**ks such as yourself, wasn’t strong enough to get you to reconsider your support, then you truly are beyond all hope of moral salvage.

It’s one thing to be willingly deaf, dumb, and blind, in the face of reality, Ruth. It’s quite another thing altogether however, to take inordinate conceit in being a truly terrible human being, who’s only contribution to the legacy of earth-bound joy, will be when you die, and your organs are parceled out to those good people who unlike you, are actually worth saving.

Although to be fair, they won’t be able to use your skin, due to its thinness, or your eyes either, because of their current inability to see what’s right in front of them, and when it comes to your heart, well… I’d wager that when the transplant team cracks open your chest, and finds itself staring into the black void that resides in its place, there’s going to be some questions asked, for years to come.

Fortunately for my narrative, I’m not the only one who feels this way, as Rut’s own flesh and blood has expressed the opinion that she’s quite the gullible fool, and in an ironic twist of fortuity, the proof of this interfamily discordance was happily posted by no less than the village idiot herself:Wow. Just “wow”. Not only has Ruth openly surrender her patriotism, her body autonomy, her soul, her intellect, and her Faith, to America’s Angriest Creamsicle, she’s unashamedly thrown her own family atop the funeral pyre shoddily constructed by the world’s most despised failed mail-order meat salesman, as well. A simple question Ruth, if I may? When you denoted to “His Word”, were you referencing your Lord and Savior Jesus Christ, or the word salad edicts uttered by Donald Trump?

While some may consider my pointed query to be the height of insufferable rudeness, I say it is not, considering my confidence in stating that I strongly doubt that you can even tell the difference betwixt the two, anymore. That is of course, if you ever were able to in the first place. For the official celestial record, the only thing that Donald Trump shares in common with Jesus Christ, is the willingness to embrace the morally corrupted, and that, for vastly different reasons.

The key difference being Ruth, that whereas your mythical messiah attempted to redeem their endangered souls, yours instead demands that they sell theirs to him for little to no benefit, whatsoever. Not to mention, when Jesus found himself hanging out with prostitutes, he didn’t wind up marrying them, and he sure as hell wasn’t tearing a C-note on the bedside ox-cart when he left their room, either. Once again, we see the common thread that binds Ruth’s wretched world view to her transparently defective psyche- she’s not the fatuous fly in the ointment, everybody else is.

And pray tell, who is “everybody”, you ask? Well…they’re the Media that accurately reports the news she doesn’t want to hear, the scientific and medical community that uses facts instead of nonsensical theology to find the answers to society’s ills, the women who refuse to be good little fembots for God, the Atheists who refuse to allow her Dogma to run over their Karma, Liberals who truly represent the qualities of Humanity that Ruth fails to attain, and apparently, her own family in the end.

Out of all the stuff that Silver City’s resident cannoneer of Christian cray-cray, I actually find this to be dually, the saddest and most repugnant thing, that she’s ever written, hands down. You “rebuked” your own flesh and blood in deference of a narcissistic, sexually perverse, and disloyal craven, who if you were set aflame, wouldn’t bother to piss on you, and you’re proud about that? I said it earlier, and now I feel obligated to say it again;  JESUS F**KING CHRIST, WHAT THE F**K IS WRONG WITH YOU, LADY?

Newsflash, kiddo: the only purpose you currently serve your supposed Lord and Master, is as an example of what type of Christian NOT to be, and as a future personal best for dropkick yardage, when he boosts your insane ass off of his front cloud lawn, and straight into the bowels of Hell, where you’ve been slated to arrive, for quite some time now. And I say this as a guy who paid for his Condo overlooking the Lake of Fire in full, thanks to my week-long stay in New Orleans, during 1993 Mardi Gras.

But for those of you who aren’t fully convinced just yet, as to how deep the rabid rabbit hole of Ruth’s political personality disorder goes, here’s one final nail in the lid of that particular conservative coffin:

“Amen” says the faux Christian, regarding false claims… seems about right. As you can tell, and as I’ve previously written about, the theme of personal persecution at the hands and bequest of an imaginary enemy, is a crucial component within the boiled block of SPAM that passes for Ruth’s critical thinking skillset, and nowhere is this more evident than when she posts on social media about what’s going on in her day-to-day life.

Every accidental overcharge or unforeseen alteration by a local business, is “fraud”, every story casting her mango Oompa-Loompa in a negative light, is ‘fake news”, and behind every call for social justice, body autonomy, or freedom from the oppressive yoke of organized religion, is a calculated attack by agents of Antifa, BLM, the Deep State, the murdering bastards at Planned Parenthood, or possibly even the pedophilic blood-sacrifice cult that Lady Gaga works hand in hand with.

You know… when she’s not busy in the recording studio, that is.

But as usual, I’m getting slightly ahead of myself and the narrative to come, so I’ll just post one off her more recent “woe-is-me” offerings, and then provide the necessary context on the back end:So… full disclosure. The “man” that Ruth is referring to as the gargantuan pain in her intellectually larded ass, is none other than yours truly, a position I find myself to be more than happy to be currently occupying, when it gets right down to the brass tacks. However, like most of Ruth’s nattering narratives, it deliberately glosses over a few key details that besmirch her claim of unwarranted victimhood, as is her way.

Now, while some of Ruth’s cravenly Christian cabal may see a faint halo around her countenance, I’d opine that it’s nothing more than the permanent chalk outline that she’s drawn around herself, so that she can play a martyr victim, for whenever she’s the recipient of a valid rebuff that strikes far too close to home for her limited intellect to adequately respond to. It’s a darn shame that being a histrionic harridan in is no longer considered a viable career path, for Ruth here, would be a natural at it.

To start, no one has been “harassing you for some time now”, especially me. Not only have you and I never met, the range of our interconnected relationship has been no more than you being an unwilling subject in my personal writing, which you’ve obviously never read, nor has anyone else who’s remotely connected to you. Of course, if you’re actually now reading this, I can only welcome you to the free show, and assure you that while this is not the beginning, it most certainly isn’t the end of my mocking you, either.

And the best part? You’ve provided close to 75% of the comedic relief for free. All I really have to do, is crack some jokes, draw a few parallel observations, and kick back, feeling the joy of having done an honest day’s disparaging. An even better aspect of these screeds is that the bulk of the material within, is sent to me by people you do (and don’t) know, which I then investigate to verify its authenticity, and most importantly, its accuracy.

People in this town genuinely despise you, Ruth. The best I’ve ever been able to successfully achieve, is not getting asked out to a nice lunch every now and then., which let’s face it, is nowhere close to the infamy that you’ve managed to stoke. And that, on natural ability alone, which quite honestly, almost makes me feel like I’m not even trying my best some days.

As to your untruthful dissertation that you’re being specifically targeted due to your being “a Christian who stands up for what I believe”, no, you’re not. First, you’re a Christian in the very same way that Donald Trump is, and second, because you are quite literally, the end result of what happens when you allow an ill-informed, false witnessing, conspiracy theory babbling, duplicitous, walking, talking, urinal cake, full internet access, without demanding an IQ test as a critical facet of the authorization to do so, first.  

Whether you like it or not, whether you want to admit it or not, the truth of the matter is that you’re being taken to account for your abominably ignorant fallacies of opinion, your hypocritical and cherry-picked faith, and your willingness to deliberately harm members of my community by spreading demonstrably false and dangerous misinformation, all while posturing as both a victim, and a victorious warrior under the direct commend of a mental delusion, masquerading as a Supreme Being.

That’s it. No more. No less.

What you fail to understand, and calculatingly so, to be certain, is that you are still somebody’s employee, and consequently, are still subject to the companies’ rules, policies, and mission statement thereof, and you know it. If you can go on Facebook and slur a local company with slanderous and unfounded charges of malicious fraud and not apologize for doing so, after the situation is resolved, then I sure as f**k, can complain about your increasingly bizarre and unhinged public statements to the unfortunate organization that oversees you, as well.

You don’t like it? Learn to live with disappointment, as it’s going to be your dance partner now, and far into the future. And unlike the majority of your scurrilous claims, I can at least back up my commentary, using the evidence pulled straight from the horse’s ass herself- namely, your very own words, postings, and public declarations.

Shockingly, most modern-day companies in this, the age of viral social wildfire, tend to take a rather dim view of their trusted associates going online and openly ranting about the Deep State, The NWO, anti-vax conspiracies, Satan existing as a physical entity, the arrival of the End of Days, and the like. Other than such talk being woefully inaccurate, if not completely batshit crazy, it can also damage established reputations concerning the trust their customer base has placed in them.

In addition, when it came to hearing that you publicly declared that Tom Hanks had been allegedly arrested for being a pedophile, as you once implied on Instagram,..Yeah. They undeniably and understandingly, were so not cool with that, given the legal ramifications of you tying their company to such defamation, but please tell us all once again, how you’re the true victim in regards to your publicly presented and wholly malevolent actions, as collectively, we could all use a good laugh at your expense. Hence the reason, why the people in charge above you, told you to cool it with your ludicrous bullshit online, if you wanted to continue selling their product.

Nobody, not them, not me, not even Satan or the New World Order itself, tried to have you }shut down”, based upon your faux Christianity, you paranoid, asinine, duplicitously deceitful twat, and you know that. However, I’d garner you wouldn’t be able to so freely drink the good will offered up to you by your fellow gullible Granfalloons, as if you were a starving succubus, if you, for once, actually told the whole of the truth, now could you?

Amazing how you always seemingly fail to note your own culpability in regards to your self-created drama, but I’m sure that’s nothing more substantial than just an implausible quirk of coincidence. That’s the resultant problem when an adversary has kept all the receipts of your ranting, as I’ve done, for your own words make the case far better than mine ever could. So seriously… thanks for all the help with the heavy lifting, Ruth, as it’s truly appreciated

Regardless of all that however, I’d still be somewhat remiss if I didn’t pay proper tribute to those select aspects where Ruth’s inherently flawed intellectualism, far outshines the rest of her arguably questionable character flaws that I’ve called attention to thus far. Granted while it’s obvious she doesn’t even know the intricacies of her own alleged faith, ironically, it’s that very same density which inevitably, always leads to her unfounded claims of facing ‘persecution” for being a person of such.

The cold hard veracity in play here Ruth, is that if there was no meat whatsoever to chew on, your authoritative betters would have sent the sandwich I presented to them straight back to me, and they sure as heck, wouldn’t have continued to take my calls and emails regarding your balderdash, either.

My favorite moment that I just have to share, was when I was on the phone with one of their representatives reading them some of your crazy-ass commentary, and the person on the other end of the line said, and I quote; “Jesus Christ, this woman needs help”, an opinion I feel is even more comfortable agreeing with after her bananas claim that her “every move and word is being watched and reported”, as if she had run afoul of the KGB.

But yes… all of this must be my fault alone, you sanctimonious wench. However, Ruth’s reverse soliloquy of spiritual suffering, wouldn’t be complete without her captive audience of Christian flunkies, and as you can imagine, they were more than happy to join in on the Groupon discount for torches and pitchforks, which as a person of thriftiness, I can totally appreciate.

I do find it amusing however, that despite her plea for God’s direct intervention in “dealing” with me, the best battle-hardened army that he could muster up, is one comprised of MAGAts who at best, intellectually present as if they’re the morning shift at a 3rd rate strip club. Sure, one or two of them may be worth getting a lap dance from, but the rest? Past their prime, and their expected paygrade, to be sure.

In an attempt to clarify as to why it is that I find Ruth’s so-called Posse of the Pulpit so inconsequentiality deserving of anything save my mockery, I’ll lay out some of their ”calls to harm” as it were, and you’ll be able to see for yourself, just why there’s so many laws on the books regarding who you’re genetically allowed to marry within your immediate family tree.

First up in the blather box, one Lynn Ross Frost, who I can only assume, is the type of person who thinks that Mermaids exist, given the nature of her “threat”, that being a host of Angels set loose upon yours truly, which to be fair, could result in my suffering some grave injuries… mainly to my diaphragm, from laughing my ass off:As usual, I won’t s[peak for you, but if James Cameron ever made this scenario into a summer movies starring Angeline Jolie, I would watch the ever-living f**k out of it. However, I do have a few minor points to quibble about, if I may.

First, if you ask God for a “host: of 1000 Angels initially, I’d seriously doubt you’d need an additional 23K [the full total of the complement deployed within a 24 hour span] to , as you so lovingly put with the purest of Christian love,  “fight and take down, annihilate and destroy the platform of this spirit [Moi?] of the Anti-Christ”. Seems like overkill, but what do I know? After all, my brain unlike yours, actually still works, and I’d hate to harsh the mellow you receive masturbating to that Avenging Angel fantasy loop you’ve got playing in your otherwise empty head, 24/7.

And yet, here you are, thinking I can’t be thoughtful, when the need arises That’s just downright hurtful. Also, my delusional dipstick of divination, “annihilate and destroy”, mean the same f**king thing, so perhaps the next book you endeavor to read should be a thesaurus, instead of that assemblage of sociopathy you acquired your sense of alleged morality from. Just a friendly suggestion. 

Following in Lynn’s single set of footprints John Patrick Griego, decides instead to take a softer approach, and instead, bestows a blessing of sorts, on both Ruth and the souls of those coming for her, which even I, the resident cryonic, has to admit, is kind of sweet, overall:Despite that truly warm benediction however, John sticks to the party line calling for… what else, the “destruction” of Ruth’s supposed adversaries. Of father amusing interest to me is the fact that even though Ruth personified her current imaginary enemy list to one single man, that being yours truly, John’s bloviated beseeching, suggests that she’s facing a merciless cadre of ne’er-do-wells, instead.

Dude, I’ll happily admit that while my ego is large, it does have its limits, so work on your context, right after you brush up on your obviously lacking comprehension skills. Oh, and John? The cops don’t exist to carry out the edicts of God, what with him being a myth and all, but guess what? They also don’t exist to carry Ruth’s personal axe collection, either, hence the reason why whenever she walks into the local station, they play “Paper, Rock, Scissors”, to determine who unfortunately, gets to deal with her this time.

Need some supplementary evidence of that? Well, here you go:What I’ve continually enjoyed from these onion skinned internet law scholars, is what particular offenses they feel, necessitate the inclusion of law enforcement, regardless of the situational subtext they find themselves in.

Modern media is rife with stories where self-appointed guardians such as Ruth and her equally vapid vanguard, have wasted and squandered the resources of local and federal agencies reporting “crimes” that in actuality, weren’t crimes to begin with, and most importantly, never will be.  

While it is a crime to directly harass someone at their place of employment or residence, it is not illegal to  openly report their acts of increasingly bizarre behavior to said employer, nor is sharing their publicly accessible commentary to the same, As I stated earlier, no meat, no sandwich, no follow-up order placed.

The personally embarrassing detail that your supervisor/s started monitoring your public displays of erratic behavior far more closely, once they had been alerted to the content of what you’ve been happily inflicting upon your undeserving community without concern, is irrelevant, given the fact that the responsibility for incurring the consequences assigned to your words and actions, is still yours to shoulder, no matter who or what, you try to shift the blame to.

Deflection and an aversion to that which is actual, seems to be a tried-and-true approach for Ruth, so feigning fears for her well-being, be it emotional or financial, to the local constabulary, hardly comes as a surprise to anyone familiar with her cowardly tactics. While her penchant for disingenuousness has been established beyond=d arguable reproach, she never tires of engaging in it, especially whenever she fee;s she can derive some personal benefit from it.

For instance, Ruth’s respect for law enforcement, apparently hinges on whether or not its involvement in her life assists or impinges upon her endgame goals. Her church gets shut down for violating COVOD protocols? TYRANNY!!! COMMUNISM!!! AN ACT OF SATAN!!! By jackbooted and overstepping agents of the Deep State, but when it comes to her failed attempts to use the cops as a conduit for enacting personal revenge against her many detractors?  

Well then… you’ve never met a more honorable group of public servants, let me tell you. And yes, she was thoughtful enough to provide a shining example of how she truly feels about the established law of the land whose values she claims to respect, because she’s cool like that:
At this point, we’ve all seen incontrovertibly just how ardently Ruth follows the edicts of her supposed Savior, so I can only imagine what “Laws of Man” she believes apply to her, and which don’t.

My previous blogvella from over a year ago, addressed Ruth’s supposed interaction with those she felt were there solely to pursue her [as yet] unproven assertions that she was being harassed and that her home and businesses were being specifically targeted (and allegedly vandalized) by an unknown and subsequently unnamed [not me] entity, and within that very screed, I stated that under no circumstances, should such actions [if credible] ever be considered acceptable, regardless of what Ruth had said or done.

Short of raising dalmatian puppies for the sole purpose of either eating them, or turning them into coats of course, because let’s face it, you gotta draw the metaphorical line in the sandbox somewhere.   However, as I’ve noted oft before, I live in a very small hamlet, and if anybody residing in it, was up to half the stuff that Ruth has claimed they were up to, it would be all over the grapevine. And as far as the rumor mill goes, one doesn’t require “proof” so much as they require the courage to call said person/s out for it.

Isn’t it odd though, that Ruth never does? And as I get to know more about her, I’m starting to think that like the “evidence” she sees of Satan everywhere, these reports of personally directed attacks might also be no more than smoke and mirrors, as the saying goes.

Taking into account that the people and faux faith she allies herself with, are relentless in forcing their mythology into the communal fabric of a country growing increasingly hostile to its intrusion, one can easily surmise what social abominations she would willingly inflict upon her fellow humans if she were allowed to be free of the consequences of doing so.

Come on now, you say, aren’t you taking a page from Ruth’s praybook [pun intended] and being a tad bit melodramatic?  Honestly, I don’t think so. In fact, I’d suggest that if anything, I’m being fairly diplomatic about the situation at hand. Let’s all keep in mind that her fellow Mythketeers have expressed, and in some extreme cases, tried to enact legislation, that would foment their fascist fantasies into hard cold reality, for just not themselves, but upon a wide and unwilling swath of the United States citizenry, as well.

To note, these Christian Cornucopias of Craven intentions, has tried to regulate women’s body autonomy, attempted to criminalize gay marriage, and reduce the civil rights of the LGBTQ community, demanded that Creationism and the theology of the Bible be referenced and taught in public schools and held to a higher respect than established science,  as they scream about being “Pro-life” while gutting social aid programs that directly help children and families.

All of this by the way, as they rattle their sabers in preparation of a fantastical upcoming Civil / Holy war, in which, their zombie Zeus will allegedly return, and settle the hash with their invented enemies.

And out of respect for your sanity, if not reality, I won’t even begin to dissect their bullshit assertion that because they’ve been denied the spiritually-based stipend to legally harass and discriminate against the people and gender identities they abhor, they’re the ones being truly “persecuted”, instead of the ones they’re dying to victimize and marginalize.

Therefore, I can comfortably say, and that with a great deal of personal certainty, that Ruth is perfectly fine with breaking whatever law she would speciously rationalize as being against God, because in the end, if the cops aren’t going to do the dirty work that she’s obviously too chickenshit to undertake herself, what value could they possibly have?

There’s a maxim that has been wrongly attributed to Socrates that states; “When the debate is lost, slander becomes the tool of the losers”, and while the true origin of this quote is still ironically, in the throes of civilized debate, it’s inherent message remains stoically relevant, nonetheless. If I were going to add a modern-day footnote to this wisdom slice, I’d most likely add that; “And when slander fails, the next tool in the box is the threat of violence”, because that’s the only one that this gaggle of gaseousness know how to wield.    

Speaking of which, let’s get to a few more invectives of insanity that were hurled my way, so we can all take a moment to revel in the fact that even when we were in kindergarten, we knew exactly how all the paste-eaters were going to turn out. Like my newest internet schooled lawyer Ray Irving, who not only gets it wrong when and what for an order of protection is granted, but also fails to equally work out exactly why Ruth finds herself in Dutch with her corporate masters as well: For those of you not in the loop an “order of protection” as it applies to New Mexico law, is a court-issued directive to your former spouse & abuser to stay away from you, and to not commit further acts of domestic abuse. As it’s clear that neither I, or anybody else that Ruth perceives as an enemy for that matter, falls under this purview, Ray’s suggestion is not only wide of the mark, it’s also an insult to those women facing the very real (and possibly deadly) threat of continuing violence.

But oh no… somebody pointed out to Ruth’s employer using her won words and public actions, remember, that she might be just a few months shy of wrapping herself inn tin-foil to keep out the mind-control rays of the Deep Sate, and somehow, that translates into a viable threat in regards to her physical safety? Got it, Ray. You’re just as f**king dense as she is, and trust me, I appreciate all the hard work you had to put in to grab that brass ring.

Hopping aboard the celestial carousel, we have Daniel Paredes, who suggests to Ruth an approach that quite honestly, I did not see coming, and I tend to be a guy who’s knack for being able to sense “crazy” from quite a distance away, has served as the inspiration for a litany of tall tales, if not ribald songs: .Okay. I have to ask a small favor here- is there anybody familiar enough with the tenets of Christian cray-cray who can tell me how I can be placed in Christ’s hands if they’re not the appendages used to pick me up in the first place? Not to mention, once I’m in God’s hands, would it be rude of me to ask for a Shiatsu massage? Because I bet that guy has amazing hands. It stands to reason that if he can raise the dead, he most definitely could do something about my chronic sciatica, too.

And failing that, should I try to figure out the intricacies of how mentioning my name to Him, compels Christ not only to take care of Ruth’s business, but to appear at the sound of it, as if he’s Beetlejuice?

Sorry… that should have read “Betelgeuse”, damn my stupid Voice to Snark phone app. And yes, that IS how it’s spelled in the movie, no matter what you might have been led to believe:
See? Unlike Ruth, I back my shit up. Seems a far easier action to undertake than to just pull fabricated falsehoods out of my ass, but far be it from me to take away the only creative outlet that Ruth possesses. But never let it be said that the rest of Ruth’s crew aren’t creative, even if it’s the truth.

For after all, I am sympathetic concerning the difficulties these people must certainly encounter when designing new and inventive threats, given the fact that the majority of them have only only owned one book in their entire lives and even then, still haven’t n=made it past the first paragraph of Genesis. Take for instance, this intellectually blistering retort by one Rikey Ferrell, who truly brings what I can only assume is his GED certificate, to the proverbial throw-down table, for me to use as a napkin:Now for the record, I am aware that his real name is obviously “Ricky”, or some variant thereof, but considering the intellectualism attached to his “threat”, I’d still have to trust my hunch that nobody ever taught him how to spell it properly to begin with, so I’ll cut him some charitable slack in that particular department. But as to the rest? I’m not entirely sure what advantage Ricky thinks knowing my name will grant him, past the understanding of how well it’ll flow off his tongue when he says it.

Accordingly, I’m also at a loss as to what Ricky is referencing when he says “it” will go away, once my name is uttered to the wind at large, as the last time I checked, you’d still need at least a truckload of black candles, a sacrificial goat, and several boxes of expired Ding Dongs, to send me back from whence I came, but maybe he’s just being an optimist at worst.

You know, just like when he posted this fourth-grade taunt, and thought it made him sound like a badass? And in yet another hypocritical twist, Ruth who once posted that she was “required to forgive everyone”, “liked” the comment, which just goes to show you, that her principles, can be discarded faster than she can blame others for her own foldables, which let’s face it, is a speed that one day, mathematicians will be forced to finally develop a theorem for.

But Ricky isn’t the only one who’s thinking about me, not by a long shot. Richard Shetter here, for instance, is apparently incredibly inquisitive as to what I look like, because he seemingly thinks that posting it online will somehow concern me past the point of being flattered that I finally have a stalker who’s collecting Social Security:Sure, Mathew 5:44 may contain the following advice; ‘But I say to you, love your enemies, bless those who curse you, do good to those who hate you, and pray for those who spitefully use you and persecute you”, but such wussy treacle is highly inconvenient for when you’re trying to pretend that you’re a moral person, despite the evidence that proves you’re not, am I right? However, since Richard looks like this;

I can totally understand why he thinks other people might be cowed by having their image circulated across the Web, although this hands down, may be the best cosplay of a boiled ham that I have ever seen  

I made my peace with looking as if I were the offspring of an illicit love affair between Jesus Christ and James Hetfield of Metallica, quite some time ago, so I’m drawing a genuine blank as to what horrific fallout I’m expected to receive from people I already don’t like, respect, or most importantly fear, if they get a hold of my graven visage. Of which, 8 x 10’s are available either via my gift shop, or directly through my OnlyFans site, when you sign up for the Platinum members package.

Nevertheless, Richard did ask, and that, rather politely, for my photo, so in the interest of fairness, I’ll provide one, so that when he’s all alone at night, seething to the brim with his old white guy rage, he’ll at least have an example to illustrate his nonsensical revenge scenario with. Personally, I like this one showing me at work, having the kind of life that Richard wishes he had, but could never achieve, given his lack of personal charisma, if not mental acumen:

Now, whatever you do Richard, please don’t share this photo, because I’d find it really embarrassing if everyone saw it, checked out my website at www.waynemichaealreich.com, and either bought something, or worse, hired me to write something for them. I honestly don’t think I could handle all that unwanted attention, so I beg you… please, please, please don’t do it.  Well, at least not until I get the newer work up, that is. I dp try to keep it fresh, whenever possible.

I wonder if I should also point out to Richard that it’s damn near nigh impossible to cast a sense of chagrin upon a person who not only writes about the skeletons in his closet, but who also leaves its door open, so that they can dance the Electric Slide, as they mix up yet another batch of kickass margaritas.

See, when it gets right to the meat of the chimichanga, there’s very little in my life that I’ve been embarrassed by. I’ve written extensively about my medical issues, my sexual experiences, my relationships, and in a moment of inspiration that I still get email about, I wrote a story about posing in the nude for a fellow artist, and then, POSTED THE IMAGES ONLINE of both the resultant painting itself, and the modeling session that led to its creation.   

But yeah…. your snide remark on an internet-acquired picture of me, created using the photo app on your phone, will be the metaphorical sword of purest silver that brings me to my knees, begging for mercy. It’s that kind of infectious optimism that probably causes me to think that selfie of yours looks more like a casual portrait, rather than the image one sees on warning posters taped to the light poles at the darkened edges of a child’s playground, but that’s just my opinion, flippant as it may be.

But the best comment on Ruth’s plea for unwarranted sympathy, just has to be this one, posted by, and I swear to mythical God that I am not making this up, the spectacularly baptized Bendesida Bienveniidos, who is going to wind up as either the main character in an upcoming work of fiction involving the spiritual journey of an ABBA worshiping cult, or as the name of a Bond villain intent on world domination, using the most diabolical of weapons, that exploits the gullibility of the common man to devastating effect.

Oops my bad. A super-villain already invented organized religion, didn’t they? My sincerest apologies to all that have gathered round. But I wasn’t kidding when I said that I love her comment, and after reading it, I hope you can see exactly why I do:

This may be the best opening to a pointless prayer that I have ever seen in my life, and I say this as a person whose name has been dropped into a lot of prayers, be they for me, or aligned against me. I am kind of sad though, that this screencap which was sent to me, failed to capture the entire breadth of the comment, but I’d say it’s safe to assume that the remainder would be more of the same Nazarene Yadda Yeshua, Yahweh, bunkum that we’ve all come to expect from this bunch.

Seriously, I can’t think of anything that tops “We bind the demonic operating in this man’s life”, and I doubt that I ever will. Toss in the added spice of having the so-called Holy Spirit “loosed” upon me in the name of Jesus, (naturally), and it’s fairly obvious that my upcoming weekend is gonna be just packed. On the upside, she also does throw in a request for me to receive some blessings in the end, but I’ll only receive those (I guess?) after my demonic tendencies get trussed up like a Christmas goose that’s into BDSM.

I hate to be the one that clues you in on a not-so-obvious certainty, but if those two New Orlean strippers weren’t able to successfully “bind” my far more prevalent demonic spirit back in 1993 during Mardi Gras, most assuredly, your mythical spiritual trifecta doesn’t have a Sno-Cones’ chance in Hell, either. Trust me on this, because not only were those two exceedingly dedicated, there’s no way your knowledge of knot-tying could even remotely compare to theirs, which, when I recall it, seemed quite extensive, given their age.

As I come to the end of this, my latest human-scratching-post dissertation, I’d like to take a moment to offer a direct comment to Ruth herself, if you’ll allow me the grace to do so. If at this point Ruth, you still feel the unwarranted need to play the victim, may I suggest that you go onto the World Wide Web and complain some more to the planet at large? After all, it’s worked out pretty good for me as a dedicated career, and the working conditions are just great.

Granted, you’ve been attempting that for quite some time now, and although you’ve failed wretchedly, if not consistently, I really do think that if given enough time and a lifetime supply of Paliperidone, you could in theory, achieve actual competency at it, and possibly in even less time than you may think. That is of course, all based on whether or not you can get those paranoid delusions of yours, under some form of stabilized control

And just in case you were wondering why I soberly say this, as I recommend her liberal use of Paliperidone, a drug used to treat the ravaging effects of unchecked paranoia, it’s because  the symptoms of clinically defined paranoia are as follows:

(1) An unhealthy fixation that others have hidden motives, which are often perceived as targeted persecution, (2) Feelings of suspicion and distrust towards others, (3) Quarrelsomeness and petulance, (4) Poor relationships with others, (5) Lack of understanding into the speciousness of their views, (6) Holding grudges against others for their alleged digressions, (7) Recalling actions inversely from reality, (8) A sense of defensiveness, (9)  Feelings of hypervigilant anxiety, and lastly, (10) Repeated attempts to pursue legal action, based on the false certainty that their rights have been violated.

Now… does that sound like anybody we know? Take all the time you need to formulate your answer, and when you’re ready, please remember to present it to the studio audience in the form of a question. Traditionally, when I normally wrap up one of these in-depth screeds, I characteristically save the best as it were, for last, but due to the inane density of the posting I’m about to share with you, I’ve decided to turn my conventional take onto its head this time around, and close with a taste of the truly pathetic, instead.

As we’ve all discovered by now, Ruth’s debatably warped choices regarding just how she interprets the dogma of her supposed faith, not only influences the direction of her life, but the dubious beliefs she’s coagulated within. No matter how one might charitably decide to look at it, this state of alleged willing mental derangement, is unarguably just tragic, having been set in the most impenetrable of illogical bedrock, and is therefore, possibly and theoretically, irreversible.

I draw this overall conclusion not from just the numerous examples that Ruth herself has provided, albeit unknowingly, but from the pages of the spiritual tome that she repeatedly claims to be willing to lose everything for. This glaring hypocrisy, proven once again by her own words and actions, runs concurrent with her continuing support of a man so ethically challenged and morally corrupt, that even the Hell-trapped soul of William “Boss” Tweed, marvels at his brazen audaciousness.

In regards to the list of Ruth’s character… let’s just call them “quirks” for now, since “flaws” is way too on the money, that I’ve assembled for your [hopeful] reading pleasure, I’d happily note her outright falsehoods, half-truths, high-school-level-histrionics, slander, passive-aggressive bullying, outright paranoia, biblical and personal hypocrisy, concocted delusional theories pulled off of the internet, as well as out of her ass, along with her consistent public performances portraying a victim that’s considered so over the top, that Tommy (“The Room”) Wiseau wants first crack at optioning the film rights to it.  

All jokes aside, I’m fairly confident that many in my town would esteem my tabulation as a noble attempt at the cataloging of perhaps her best qualities, since the general consensus by those very same individuals, would be that they didn’t think she had any to begin with. What can I say? My writing sometimes bridges the gap. Decidedly, it can’t do anything about the permanent one that’s located between Ruth’s ears, but an Artbitch can always dream, I guess.

If one thing has been made abundantly crystalline clear within this screed, it’s that Ruth truly believes that her allegorical God  “talks” directly to,(and sometimes through) her, to the discomfort of the rest of us who understand that’s not a sign of celestial communication, so much as it is the first symptom of conceivable schizophrenia, rather than any form of divine ordainment. This is not to make light of those suffering from the after-effects of mental illness, mind you, but to draw a parallel to the suspected one that may be taking hold in Ruth, , that is to say, if one hasn’t set up shop already.

To discuss this last piece in the f**ked-up human puzzle-box I in my singular opinion, believe Ruth to be, we need to start at at the very beginning…. literally. From Genesis: “In the beginning, God created the heaven and the earth. And the earth was without form, and void; and darkness was upon the face of the deep. And the Spirit of God moved upon the face of the waters. And God said, Let there be light: and there was light. And God saw the light, that it was good: and God divided the light from the darkness.”

So right off the bat, we all know that this God dude has some serious juice, and he isn’t afraid to use it. But the fairy tale only gets better: “And God said, “Let us make man in our image, after our likeness: and let them have dominion over the fish of the sea, and over the fowl of the air, and over the cattle, and over all the earth, and over every creeping thing that creepeth upon the earth.”

:So, God created man in his own image, in the image of God created he him; male and female created he them. And God blessed them, and God said unto them, “Be fruitful, and multiply, and replenish the earth, and subdue it: and have dominion over the fish of the sea, and over the fowl of the air, and over every living thing that moveth upon the earth.”

And then in act of pure fatherly love, God cast out Adam and Eve from the Garden for Eve;s “sin” of eating an apple from a tree that he calculatingly placed in her path, knowing full well beforehand, as he’s omnipotent, that she was going to do so. Several millennia later, he once more showed his “love” for the humans he created, by drowning the world entire, because the creatures he created with a deliberate flaw weren’t kissing his ass enough, but on the upside, we did get a rainbow out of the deal, which is why there’s never been a deadly flood anywhere on Earth, since.

Oh, wait…

Going forward with his ineffable plan, the all-powerful God who created everything from nothing, decided that when the time had come to send a heavenly emissary to Earth in order to “absolve” mankind from the original sin he had cursed them with, he chose to take a truly novel approach to the issue, rather than start from scratch, because apparently, he can only do the “create a person from nothingness” trick once, and I guess at the time, he couldn’t find anyone with an extra rib to spare, either.

Nope, his go-to brilliant idea was to instead, impregnate a married teenage girl, and that, without her consent no less, as if he were Zeus, so that she and her cuckolded hubby could raise his son to adulthood for the sole purpose of his being crucified, the after-effect of which, was his rising from the dead three days later, like you do when you’re a celestial zombie. The benefit of all this, is that by doing so, he “saved” all mankind from the sin, that once again, was the fault of his (and our) absentee Holy Father.

Yup… no plot holes there, boys and girls. I can’t imagine why more people don’t get in line for the wafer, believe you me. Throw in the stories of a woman being turned into salt, angels murdering children, groups of townsfolk threatening to rape angels, and being offered someone’s daughters instead, and that whole apocalyptic Terminator movie scenario at the end of it all, and it’s truly a mystery to me, as to why we as a society, don’t allow this ideology to be taught in our public schools over the obvious blasphemy of established science.

And in all of this, Ruth believes. Well… that parts that aren’t inconvenient to her narrative anyway. That’s why she can slander, bully, victimize others, and bear false witness, without fear of reproach, because you can’t be held to account of\r face penalization enacted by a deity that never existed in the first place.

Maybe it’s due to the fact that God, the all-powerful King of Kings, lacks coherent communication skills, Now, as someone whom has been accused of the very same by more than a few exes of mine, I could posit that this difficulty might be due to his being a man, and as a gender, we’re not really known for that sort of thing, but I don’t think that’s really the case here.

As I recall from my Catholic school days, God speaks to us through the Word, dreams, visions, prophecies, his directly sent heralds or angels, prophets, and for some as yet unknown reason, his image, via toast, water stains on ceilings, and the occasional; cloud formation. And don’t even bring up that whole started on the burning bush thing, as I’m pretty sure that’s just the fevered imagination of a man who had been wandering lost in the desert for a number of years, subsisting on nothing but Manna.    

I’m not suggesting that Moses was high or anything like that, but dehydration and living on the Jewish equivalent of Top Ramen has just got to take its toll on you after a while, let’s be honest.  And id we’re going to be, does it make sense to anyone with a working intellect, as to why the most powerful being in all of creation, was able to craft the Universe from nothing, yet seemingly, can’t figure out how to set up a Twitter or Facebook page?

Heck, even Donald Trump managed to do that, and his DNA produced Eric, Don Jr, and Ivanka, who is the closest thing to a living breathing Fembot, that this planet has ever seen. So, what’s God’s excuse, other than the fact he’s mythical and works in so-called [aka nonexistent] ways? Rega5dless of this blatantly obvious logic-hole in her faith’s spiritual dinghy, Ruth sees “signs” everywhere, and I do mean everywhere. And believe it pr not, I’m not necessarily aligned against the possibility of such random occurrences happening, every now and then.

The key word here, being “random”, of course. There is no preordained celestial plan currently in play, that at any point, now or in the future, controlling, shaping, or testing your life. Now whatsoever, At best, you are subject to the cruel whims of uncontrollable fate, and that’s about as good as it gets for any of us, albeit as a group, or as individuals. Shit just happens. That’s it. No secret machinations resultant of a sky-daddy’s input, and most certainly, no oversight from such, whether it be from the heights of alleged Heaven, or the depths of allegorical Hell.

Grow the f**k up, and deal with it, already.

But in Ruth’s mind, the root of logic is not only unable to find firm purchase, it wouldn’t survive for long if it did, given her willingness to take the random, and ascribe undeserving relevance upon it. And this, (finally) brings me to the last brick in the immeasurable wall that separates her intellect from reality: At first perusal, there’s a few delicate threads to untie here, the first being that there’s obviously some form of pressing family drama occurring, and as I have no idea of how to ascertain correctly what was going on at the moment she posted this. I’ll hold my characteristic snarkiness in deliberate check. In addition, I’d call glowing attention to Ruth’s purchasing winter appropriate clothing for someone whose particular circumstances necessitate it, so kudos to Ruth, in a delightful change of pace, for actually following a biblical edict to its accorded conclusion.

And because it was a nice thing to do, I’ll forgo my nagging cynicism that she only mentioned it as she did, to acquire some “I’m a good person” stickers for her fridge display.

But as with all things quintessentially Ruthesque, it dives headfirst into the bubbling  Jacuzzi of Christian cray-cray, and resurfaces, proudly clutching one of God’s “little signs”, that He in his infinite wisdom, prefers to spread his message with, versus the more rational options of either utilizing modern-day media, or going full-on Old Testament, and issuing a booming proclamation of his personal involvement from the gathered clouds above, instead.

But as noted, the Lord thy God, works in mysterious ways, which is super convenient for when anyone questions either his followers pr the clergy that fleeces them, as to why he seems more akin to an absentee landlord, than the loving and dedicated father, correction, “Daddy”, Ruth believes him to be. Sorry… I think I just threw up in my mouth a little, due to that disturbing and gag-inducing alliteration of referring to the Holy Father as “Daddy”. I ask you… is it just me, or is that just seriously f**king weird?

And while that reference may be somewhat subtly disturbing, it pales in comparison to the “proof” that Ruth openly presented as being a direct correlation to God hearing her prayers:I’m not sure how to say this without being exceedingly harsh, but without a doubt, this may be singlehandedly, the stupidest f**king thing that I have ever read in my entire life, and I say this as someone who once worked his way through the entire Twilight series and Fifty Shades of Grey, as an exercise in personal sadomasochism.

It’s so goddamn absurd in fact, that I’ve been unable to come up with a better joke than this: “Saying you found “Jesus” inside a New Mexico Walmart, is like claiming you ran into a “John Smith” inside the Mormon temple in Salt Lake City.” Thanks to her inane interpretation of how she thinks a mythically omnipotent deity would communicate, this weak-ass slice of acerbity, is quite literally, the best I can do at this time.

In all honesty, I have no idea what could be alternately funnier than Ruth seriously thinking that God “talked” to her via a Walmart receipt, can you? And despite the fact that the very continued existence of the Walmart empire attests undeniably that there is no God, Ruth will still view this random act of non-connected coincidence, as credence that he’s visibly present, which to some extent, is tragically sad, if not definitively insane.

Granted, it’s no more or less insane than declaring the existence of the Deep State, that Lady Gaga is a member of a blood sacrifice cult preying on innocent children, or that masks and vaccines are the Mark of the Beast, to be sure, but somehow, for some reason, this almost feels like she’s on the tipping point between presenting herself as a walking punchline to an unfunny joke, versus her eventually being unwillingly medicated, for the betterment and safety of the community at large, if not herself.

Soldiers dedicated to a cause are dangerous, yes… but even worse, are the martyrs that very same cause can create. The NAZI’s had Horst Wessel, the White Supremacy movement has Dylann Roof, and the MAGA’s Marmalade Minions, have January Sixth seditionist Ashli Babbitt and disgraced Minneapolis police officer, Derek Chauvin, the convicted murderer of George Floyd, as icons of patriotism, who sacrificed all for the greater good.

The greater good of course, being reserved solely for those who are White, Christian, Conservative leaning, and just so happen to be huge fans of the foulest of fascism, that is the underlying ideology of the Cult of 45. But then again, I repeat myself. And therein lies the larger issue: how do you salvage the intellect of those who’ve willingly surrendered it to the most delusional of demagogues?

With that set of specifics in mind, note that It’s not enough that we vanquish the ignorance of the asinine such as Ruth, it also needs to be implemented in such a way that allows these deluded MAGAts the ability to willingly reintegrate back into the society that they currently despise, and are seemingly terrified of, as well.

While the thought of crushing their infantile hope for shaping America into a perverse parody of itself, is an  entertaining concept yo contemplate, you have to also grasp the reality regarding persons who, influenced as they are by the ravings of a madman, will not go gentle into that good night. And as we all saw on January Sixth, more than a few of this rabidly ravenous marmalade mob, are open to the idea of sacrificing themselves, if not the rest of us as well, to appease their mushroom-dicked deity of density.

And when it comes to the personage of Ruth who seemingly places the all-too-real Donald Trump in the same pantheon that she does the wholly mythical Jesus Christ, I have to wonder just how long it will be before I and my community, witness her train not only coming off the rails entirely, thereby enabling my cynical assessment of her, to be presently nailed to the concrete with ten-foot spikes.   

But once again, I could be wrong. After all, Ecclesiasticus 21:5, taken from Ruths compendium of fantastical tales does say that “A prayer out of a poor man’s mouth reacheth to the ears of God, and his judgment commeth speedily”, so maybe I will find myself facing some form of celestial tribulation, with the end result being finding myself in line for the escalator going straight down to Hell, when all is said and done.

 And Ruth? Well… maybe she’ll be given the chance to walk smugly past me, as she enters Heaven via the VIP line, but I doubt that will happen. Not singularly due to the fact that God’s a myth mind you, or that her devotion to his Word is as thin as her skin, but because when the judgment bells toll, she’ll discover to her dismay and my delight, that even God, much like the majority of his most flawed creation, prefers the company of kind atheists over that of hateful Christians.

But don’t you worry about Ruth, kids. When she fails to ascend during the Rapture, I’m sure we’ll all be able to read about whose fault it really is, on her Facebook page. I’ll roll the dice right now, and place mu money on Satan of course, for switching the “Up” and “Down: signs on the celestial elevator.

“Zealots are totally incapable of any emotion other than rage. It is an unalterable law that people who claim to care about the human race are utterly indifferent to the sufferings of individuals.” –
Quentin Crisp, The Last Word: An Autobiography

 

 

 

 

 


Ruth-less Sheeple. (The Divine Profit-see)

“In ordinary society, superstition sells faster than science.” – Amit Kalantri, Wealth of Words1

Salutations, Bitchiteers!

Are we all having a blessed day, or is it just the same ol’ thing you always deal with? You know, because the concept of “God” is just a human-invented metaphysical construct to explain all that which we at one point, did not understand?

I thought so.

And as you may have already guessed with that none too subtle shot across the bow, this time around, I’m gonna talk about God, or to be more accurate, the melange of magical thinking and outright delusion that certain people of Faith incorporate into their lives, very much in the same way that I used to with hot strippers, but now accomplish somewhat satisfactorily, with a platter of perfectly chilled Ding Dongs.

That optimal serving temperature by the way, is set at a frosty 42 degrees, which, when it’s taken into account that “42” as noted by the computer known only as Deep Thought, as being; the Answer to the Great Question… of Life, the Universe and Everything, it all comes full circle for those of us prone to exploring the innermost aspects of our psyche, which reminds me of a favorite joke by British comedian Jimmy Carr:

“When I was a kid, I had an imaginary friend and I used to think that he went everywhere with me, that I could talk to him and he’d hear me and grant me wishes and stuff. And then I grew up – and I stopped going to church,”

Ouch, Just… ouch. I know that God is rumored to have a great sense of humor, [See: “Design of the Platypus”: “Male Orgasm Face”\ but I can only imagine how he’d respond to such a bitchslap, given the fact that he‘s lauded for being a far more laid-back and forgiving  deity ever since the New Testament came along.Well. Can’t argue with that, even if he is only a myth, constructed out of a need for answering the [at the time)] unfathomable, and maintained out of ignorance and a standing desire to shirk one’s personal responsibility for one’s actions, but I digress for the moment. Yes, you heard that right. He’s not real. Never was. At least not in the way you’ve been taught- sorry, I meant to say “indoctrinated”, but I was trying to be polite. Spoiler alert: THERE IS NO SUCH THING AS “GOD”.
I’m terribly sorry, truly I am, to have to be the one who has to tell you the truth, but you’re older now, and it’s time you started using rationality as your mental cornerstone, and not the magical thinking and ineffective prayers of a naïve child. Look… you were fine when you found out about Santa last year, and even I was impressed how well you handled it for a person who’s only in their teens.

I’m sorry… you’re actually in your mid-fifties now? And you still believe in a magical sky-daddy who answers your supplications? Prayer works, you say. Satan is real as well, you also claim. And what’s that? When the “end” comes, those who believe in this Bronze Age fairy-tale, will be magically lifted skyward to lounge eternally in God’s pool-side condo, known far and wide as Heaven, while the rest of us rational people, will remain on Earth to face Tribulation under Satan’s brief time of rule, and after that, Eternal Judgement?

And here I was, thinking that Science, Logic, and Reality, gave me all the answers I required. Silly me.

This is not to say however, that Faith in and of itself, is a bad thing, as I can personally attest to its application as both a shield and a crutch, during some terribly difficult personal challenges that intimates of mine =have faced, but these days? It’s more apt to see it wielded as a sword, to rationalize behavior that literally violates the purest tenets of the convictions these holiest of hypocrites claim to hold so dear.

Essentially, what I tend to believe is that the Word, false as it appears, is meant to unify and inspire, not divide and justify harassment or bigoted exclusion,, despite the fact it was originally designed to control a highly uneducated and superstitious populace, who demanded answers from those who quite honestly, did not have the ability or the prerogative to provide them. But that was then, this is now, and we no longer have a need for encouraging an unhealthy state of delusion.

But, you should probably keep in mind, I say this as a 52-year-old man, who still believes that one day, he’ll be a voice in a PIXAR cartoon, and will hopefully find himself trapped in an elevator for a few hours with this lady:

And no… I’m really not interested in hearing what Reality, the restraining  orders, and her still in good health husband have to say about it either, as it’s bad enough I have to talk about it in my weekly court-mandated therapy group. Stupid legal system. Always getting in the way pf what would be a fabulous friendship for the ages. But on the upside, her attorneys seem very nice, so that’s a plus, if you’re inclined to make lemon meringue out of lemons, that is.

However, the topic of the day is centered on the religious and the hypocritical alike, and fortunately for me, both of these attributes are merged as one within the people I’ll be metaphorically shredding into Bantha fodder, in this, the latest of my screeds that highlight my ever so cynical perspective regarding the world entire. If there is a silver lining within this Golden Calf to be discovered, it’s that whenever I think I’m out of story ideas, the fantastical and imaginary deity of all creation, in his grace, always decides to drop off a gift box at the Lair of Snarkiitude, and I’m off to the races, yet again.

So, you ask, who finds themselves looking up at the freshly sharpened blade of my internet guillotine today? Well, because I like to shake it up every now and then, I’m going to take a diverging path from the story-arc pf the last two Blogvellas, to which, I will return at the soonest opportunity, and reintroduce a few old favorites, along with a self-declared “Man of God”, who in my opinion, may not possess feet made of clay, but I cannot say the same about his alleged faith.

Then again, maybe it’s perfectly normal these days to pimp Jesus and his misinterpreted works, as if you’re Dolemite, and I’m just seeing things from the wrong angle. Accordingly, may I present, along with an unexpected cameo or two, my newest acquisitions of, arrogant self-righteousness, Pastor Caleb Cooper of the new Hope revival Church, and making a return visit to these pixelated pages, his most lost of lambs, Ruth Darlene Seawolf!

As just notated, Ruth is no stranger to the Snarklands, but Pastor Caleb? Literally, just stepped off the boat, and the plates of Christian crow he and Ruth are about to be force-fed aren’t going to sit well with either of them, if truth be told. And what pray tell, is the “Truth” anyway? Well, the definition of Truth is set as: “the body of real things, events, and facts: actuality”, or for those who appreciate irony, given the very nature of what is at best a ludicrous belief system; “transcendent fundamental or spiritual reality”, which never fails to make me giggle, no matter how many times I hear it.

If my mentioning Ruth fails to ring any bells for both new and old readers alike, I recommend that you reacquaint yourself by going here; https://waynemichaelreich.com/hatertriot-lames-pt-2-razz-the-ruth/ and after that interlude of insanity, jump right back in with the rest of us. Don’t worry. We’ll wait.

(plays a few games of “Tetris” on phone, has brief, but intense, debate about the importance of Phillips-head-screws to the Star Wars Universe, and finally caves in and orders 1983’s “Ice Pirates” starring seminal TV actor Robert Urich, off of Amazon Prime for later viewing.)

Up to speed? Awesome. So, let’s get going again, shall we? To start, I’d like to voice and then bolster my opinion, that when it comes to practicing disingenuousness, these two are preeminently, the Deacon and Disciple of the art Ruth, as you now know from your reading assignment, believes not only in the End of Days and the definitive option of Saran’s rule over Earth, but seemingly, every alleged conspiracy theory involving politics, culture, and of course, the ongoing COVID pandemic, all served up with an overflowing side-dish of Christian cray-cray.

From an outsider’s POV, she comes off as the end result of what would happen if Newsmax f**ked Alex Jones, and then abandoned the newborn baby, just outside of Kelly Ann Conway’s home meth lab. This is naturally, an obviously absurd statement, designed for the purpose of provoking a humorous reaction, but I’m sad to say, that I can’t say the same for this: I think it’s very important that we all take a moment  of pause, to ruminate over the fact that this pile of dumb-f**ked DNA, is not only allowed to drive a car, handle stabby pointy things, use a toaster unsupervised, and vote, but was also permitted to be spawned as well, which not only makes me weep for the failure of the condoms that could have prevented her birth, but raises the contemplative entertainment value of what might happen if you put her into a round room, right after telling her to go find a corner.

I don’t think that I have ever said this about any person, albeit they be living or dead, but given all that I’ve compiled since my last exploration of her public inanity, I do think the odds are better than average however, that one day, she’ll be the only person on Earth whose house will have to be outfitted with mandated bubble wrap, in order to keep her from injuring herself. I’ll even go one step further, and say unequivocally, that not only has Ruth never read her personal copy of the Bible, but it’s in such pristine condition, that if and when she ever does dare open its cover, its binding is gonna crack open, as if it were a virgin from Utah.

But when it comes to her poseur Pastor Caleb Cooper, on the other hand? Well, if he chooses at a salad bar with the same discerning eye that he cherry-picks the Word, I can guarantee you, that this man has never once eaten a brown piece of lettuce by accident in his entire life. Sure, most look to the Bible for either inspiration or direction, buy in my estimation, this real-life *Reverend Shaw Moose, ostensibly views it as if it were no more than the celestial marketing version of “Extraordinary Popular Delusions and the Madness of Crowds” by Charles Mackay. *[The anti-fun preacher from “Footloose”]

However, considering that one of the most relevant quotes from the book is as follows; “We find that whole communities suddenly fix their minds upon one object, and go mad in its pursuit; that millions of people become simultaneously impressed with one delusion, and run after it, till their attention is caught by some new folly more captivating than the first”, he might just be on to something, if my opinion manages to hold the water of its alleged truth.

What do I base my cynicism in, you query? Why, good ol’ social media, of course, what else? After all, If I have to offer my snark up for public dissertation regarding Ruth, it seems only fair that her Christian Obi-Wan gets the same critical drubbing as well. Now, if one were to examine the Facebook accounts of both Ruth and Poseur Caleb, [yeah, I said it] one would see two very different takes on what the Word represents to each of them.

For instance, here’s Ruth’s Facebook banner photo:

Granted, while this woman does tend to fire off rounds of debunked conspiracy theories and unhinged prophecies as if she were a human Gatling gun whose lubricating oil is mostly comprised of lunacy, at least this message is, at its core, quite lovely: “Jesus loves you”, and who among us, can’t appreciate that? Well, people whose brains still work as nature intended, along with those that Jesus and his absentee dad would consign to Hell for not believing in Him maybe, but other than that, nobody, that’s who.

But Poseur Caleb? All I can say is that this man is a true maverick. A lone wolf, His own man, if I may be so bold. This last observation that I’ve made, rings even more true, when this self-styled spiritual shepherd rather than post an inspirational quote from the book he exploits, or a snippet of a sermon stimulated by the same, blazes his own path, and chooses instead, to display this most divine outreach:

Ah, yes- the purest distillation of WWJD, is it not?  And I don’t mean to infer the maxim, “What Would Jesus Do”, as the popular bracelets like to say, but opt for the more accurate “What Would Jesus Distribute?”, instead, as its seemingly the message that Caleb is more focused on. In fact, if one peruses his FB page, they’ll notice that he throws more pitches for his self-published products, than the late, if not great, spokesperson Billy Mays ever did, and he was literally coked out pf his head and on television, 24/7.

Podcasts. Sermons. Ideological post-it notes masquerading as books by other as-talented “authors”, and in a display of sheer Chutzpah that even I can admire, there’s also repeated pitches for this must-have item for today’s intellectually challenged Christian warrior, as well:

Man, I know you always hope that the sequel to the runaway smash hit is going to be as good as the original, but this one sounds like it’s going to be absolutely lit. I mean. It literally has it all- unexpected guest cameos, in-depth character studies, and let’s not forget the awesome title, which let’s face it, is really where most of the marketing money goes, whatnot with the toys, t-shirts, and merchandising tie-ins these days.

And if they can only get Hillsong United to do the accompanying soundtrack, that sucker is gonna go platinum, guaranteed. Failing that, I’ve heard that Stryper have lots of free time on their hands lately, and they’d probably be more than happy to break out their old spandex as well, so just keep that in mind, Caleb.  Just don’t make the mistake of casting a blue-eyed blonde to play Jesus this time around again, as we’re all kind of sick of that by now.

Honestly, and if I had my druthers, I’d switch it up a bit, and cast Angela Basset, instead. Why? Because not only can that sister act her ass off, it would be hilarious to watch these so-called all-loving disciples of Jesus, complain about Hollywood’s literally unorthodox choice, while claiming it isn’t because of her race or gender, which is why they always cast a WASP dude in the role, rather than someone who’s of actual Hebrew descent, or at the very least, distinctly non-beige,

Nevertheless, you may be wondering as to why given my past (and current) criticism of Ruth’s infliction of her thinner than onion skin faith upon others, I would bother to add her poseur pastor to the mix, and the answer is crystalline- a single misguided simpleton can do enough damage on its own, but the marching orders to do so obviously come from above, so that’s where the cauterization of the idiocy has to start, otherwise, the campaign to effect changes for the better, will tabulate as no more than a zero sum at best.

Besides that point, I also find our preaching poseur well… absolutely fascinating, to say the very least. I’ve always been intrigued, if not appallingly impressed, by the sheer amount of cheek required to brazenly sell an invisible, yet supposedly necessary product in tandem with a corresponding lifestyle, that if it fails to work, the blame for such is solely on the shoulders of the person who bought it hook, line, and sinker.

If I could only find a way to set aside my ethics and brainwash the gullible populace at large, using only a fairy tale that others wrote to fund my lifestyle, not only would I have an island made from Ding Dongs, I’m pretty confident that I’d wrap myself in a cloak of sanctimonious piousness as well, to avoid the focused scrutiny of others. As a writer who sometimes receives some serious flak for expressing his opinions, I’ve always been somewhat envious that if you claim to be a person of faith, you tend to get a free pass in regards to the same.

It’s been my observation, that the one truly underrated aspect of being a religious hypocrite, is that when your pretense eventually gets exposed for the sham that it is, you can always yell “serving my God is my only offense”, and you’ll be socially absolved of all guilt. How convenient an escape clause that must be,

Here’s my take. If I can’t be exonerated of a definitive crime in the setting of an American courtroom using only the dual excuses of either “the Devil made me do it”, or even better, “Gpd forgives me”, then the social construct of both, with hands down and no question about it, is sheer unadulterated bulls**t.

To be sure, while Ruth actively promotes her hilariously misinterpreted tenets of a truly fecal-filled Faith,  she’s not solely responsible for the societal carnage such actions incur, for as much as I’d like to assign blame to a singular being, it would be both far too simplistic and arrogant for me to do so, regarding the particular situation I’ve been observing for the last year or so.

When you practice your Faith, you do what your heart tells you, despite getting it wrong every now and then, hence the reason why it’s openly noted as “practicing”, and not as “nailing it”. When you “follow” your religion on the other hand, you just simply do what you’re told, and you don’t ask any questions. If you’re allowed to, that is, and generally… you’re not, as free-thinking is quite damaging to ideologues, and all that.

Faith, in its purest distillation, ideally creates a better society, but Religion? It’s the impetus that makes its “followers” fly commercial airliners into f**king skyscrapers.

But as usual, I’m getting ahead of myself, so let me construct some necessary background context first, as to just who Poseur Caleb Cooper is, and what the breadth of his religious convictions are. Key word here being “breadth”, because man oh man, the asinine fruit doesn’t fall far from the seemingly fearmongering hedge. Nonetheless, before I take my metaphorical shears to that putrid of privets, let’s start with the House that “God” guilt, and Poseur Caleb gilds, pun definitely intended.

Looking at Cooper’s main website, calebcooperministries.com two things are readily apparent: one, Cooper really thinks highly of himself and his “education”, and two, subtle marketing is obviously not a personal career niche he’s ever been interested in exploring. First, let’s address the glorification of the self, which as we all know from John 5:31, which states: “If I alone bear witness about myself, my testimony is not deemed true”, is one of those character flaws concerning humility that God really enjoys.

“Caleb Cooper is a firebrand revivalist that operates in the Apostolic and Prophetic, believing God to change atmospheres and transform regions with revival and awakening. He ministers out of a heart that believes we are the generation that will see the coming of the Lord. Caleb Cooper received his Doctorate Degree in Biblical Studies from FountainGate School of Revival in Mesa, Arizona and has served as a Senior Pastor for over a decade. Caleb Cooper currently Pastors New Hope Revival Church in Truth Or Consequences, NM.’

I do find it somewhat ironic however, that he works out of Truth “or” Consequences, as I have serious reservations he even knows what the Truth is, given his odious oratory slithering outward as spiritual soliloquies, and as I shall reveal later on, his penchant for doing so, fuels a perspective that he feels should shield him from having to face Consequences for actions so legally and socially asinine, that even the demon Asmodeus wouldn’t want to be seen in public with him, and that guy is upper management.

Other than the errant capitalization of where he primarily pastors, that being the word “or”, I also appreciate that directly below his sugar-puffed resume, and without any (or future) praise for the Lord’s works, message, or edicts, there’s a link to pitch his books. Such brass reminds me of the warning within Proverbs 16:5, which says that, “Everyone who is arrogant in heart is an abomination to the Lord; be assured, he will not go unpunished.”

But I’m sure none of this would apply to a man who after his blowing his own Exalted Horn, posts this:

And then, now that he’s properly warmed up as it were, hits one deep to alt-right field;

Running towards the home collection plate, he presents this pathetic plea for subscription shekels;

And closes off his capitalistic beseeching with a financial fleecing flourish, just to be sure that we all know beyond a shadow of a doubt, that he is indeed, truly a man of God:

Granted, this “God” he fails to represent accurately, seems to be no more than the end product of a ministry of mammon, but I’m sure that’s just my cynicism talking as usual, am I right? Strange how Jesus and his dad never needed a literary agent or subscription fees to promote their message, but I guess the price of Last Suppers has gone up over the last few centuries, so maybe I should cut Caleb some slack, as also finding twelve guys to praise you 24/7, has also got to be bloody expensive as all get out, to boot.

Weird that Jesus worked for free, but Caleb can’t, huh? Sure, Jesus could turn water into wine, but it’s not like he could turn hummus into a consistent rent payment, so maybe, Caleb’s blatant cash-grab does make some sort of limited sense, after all.

Or, and just hear me out, maybe it doesn’t, given the edict of Philippians 2:1-10; “So if there is any encouragement in Christ, any comfort from love, any participation in the Spirit, any affection and sympathy, complete my joy by being of the same mind, having the same love, being in full accord and of one mind. Do nothing from rivalry or conceit, but in humility count others more significant than yourselves. Let each of you look not only to his own interests, but also to the interests of others. Have this mind among yourselves, which is yours in Christ Jesus.”

But at the End of Days, what could I, a recovering Catholic, possibly know? After all, I only paid attention when I was in Sunday school, because I thought at the time, it’d be awesome to have a deity in my pocket that could grant me my wish of owning the full line of Star Wars toys made by Kenner, which when f places side by side with what Poseur Caleb preaches, seems almost adorably naïve, by comparison.

For those unfamiliar with the schools of theology that is the Apostolic-Prophetic movement, I’ll do my best to give you the clearest insights into what each represents. To note, the AP Movement believes that they, as a whole, are restoring elements of what they call the Five-Fold Ministry, traditionally represented using the sigil of a hand, which in of itself, symbolically characterizes the supposed ministry that God set up within the church.

Each metaphorical element of the “hand” serves as its own singular representation, while still maintaining the integrity of the core belief, which is required to anchor the movement’s analogical belief system, as is noted:

  1. The Thumb represents the Apostle: The thumb touches all others and it enables us to grip.
  2. The Forefinger represents the Prophet: It points
  3. The Middle finger represents the Evangelist: it is the furthest reaching finger
  4. The Ring finger represents the Pastor: married to the sheep he is always with them
  5. The Pinky represents the Teacher: this finger is the one that gives balance to the hand

While the roots of movement are based within the Pentecostal and Third-Wave construct, an interesting (if not incredulous) founding aspect of this theological twaddle, is the inclusion of Divine Prophecy as a serious point of dissertation.  You know… “Signs from God”, “End of Days”, “The Final Judgement”, and all that mumbo-jumbo? Never mind the fact that Matthew 25:13 clearly states that; “So you, too, must keep watch! For you do not know the day or hour of my return.”

In a nutshell, that means nobody, including Jesus himself, has any f**k8ng clue as to when God has decided to launch his comeback tour, and that’s the gospel truth, and here’s the kicker: IT LITERALLY SAYS SO IN THEIR OWN HANDBOOK, AND THEY SOMEHOW MISSED THIS SORT OF IMPORTANT POINT OF ORDER. But to be fair, the Bible is a fairly dense book, and as it lacks memes, we can’t possibly expect these cafeteria Christians to get the subtleties of its inherent message, can we now?

The accepted definition of prophecy is noted as: “the function or vocation of a prophet specifically: the inspired declaration of divine will and purpose.” When applied to the real world however, what it actually means is that we all collectively, now have one more person to avoid making eye contact with as we walk down the street. Lest they entrap us in an unwanted conversation regarding the imaginary concept of alleged divine will.

Poseur Caleb self-describes himself as a “firebrand”, which my late Oma once distinguished to me wryly as “the most diplomatic way to call someone a jackass, without using the actual word.” Speaking as someone who’s been tagged with that description more than once, even I will admit, albeit grudgingly, that this descriptive is more apt than not, especially where this talking-snake-oil salesman is concerned.

Nevertheless, when I tend to engage in acts of what my detractors would freely call unadulterated jackassery, I try to do so armed with the facts required to win the battle, if not the war itself, ethically and definitively. And as we will come to see, when you dissect what he claims to believe and purport, it’s no wonder that Ruth, as one of his dimwitted disciples, is seemingly incapable of separating the fibrous ball of inanity into the strands of reality that she so desperately needs to knit herself a working intellect.

But before I get back to that particular alleged Fruit of the Loon, let’s enjoy some rational public discourse from the guy who runs the orchard in which she vegetates:  
Ah yes… there’s no better person on earth to demand that he have the right to tell strangers what to do with their own body than a uterus-lacking man who will never be forced into having to weigh the unending ramifications of making the most difficult of all choices, am I right? Especially when he manages to bring in the Church of Satan and our current female governor Michelle Lujan Grisham, as life-stealing boogeymen of convenience.

When you consider that these alleged pro-life warriors so-called, are also the very same persons who fight against funding open access to birth control, protest sexual education classes in schools and send mobs to stand outside against Planned Parenthood as if they had taken Jesus hostage, and were holding him captive in their basement, the hypocrisy within their message is quite clear. They don’t care about saving lives, so much as the worry about not being able to control the ones that belong to women.

And if you doubt the veracity of that last statement, just ask yourself how many times you’ve seen these fetus-fellating f**kheads publicly harass or even attempt to intimidate, sexually active me. Anywhere. At any point. For any quantifiable length of time. Go ahead… I’ll be more than happy to wait. And while you’re doing that, I’ll be over here, trying to figure out when exactly, a prophet whose sermons preached tolerance, charity, brotherhood, magnanimity, and peace, mutated into a pro-war, pro-gun, greed-supporting, hater of immigrants, and by default, an icon of the current GQP.

What I’m referring to here, is the strange dichotomy of claiming that Jesus is your homeboy, yet you still feel the need to strap on a Smith & Wesson to serve as your substitute penii when you leave your suburban bunker to go grab fuel for your tiki-torch and a large pumpkin-spice latte, for “protection”. I can only speak for myself, but if I had an all-powerful, all-knowing deity in the BFF position, I’d constantly be making grilled cheese sandwiches and Flaming Sambucas…

…while sitting in the middle of the campfire.

Why is it, that those who claim to serve with distinction n God’s army, seemingly have no faith in his authority and powers when the Jello shots hit the fan? Case in point, this ever so subtle allusion to both transphobia and personal paranoia, all from a supposed pastor who apparently feels God’s divine protection only works on every other Sunday:

Reading this, you might hope that with the number of holes that are already in Caleb’s relatively empty head, that being the celestial number of 7, one of them in theory, would allow some actual intellect in, if only in an attempt for it to take advantage pf all the open space that’s available to it rent-free, and virtually untouched. However, it once again highlights a quirk of character I’ve commented on before- why are Conservatives so obsessed with other people’s lifestyles, personally applied labels, and sex lives, far more than they are in regards to their own?

I’m not entirely sure why, but genitalia-related references pour out of conservative’s mouths these days, almost as fast as conspiracy theories set up shop in their rapidly withering brains, and it’s dually hilarious, as well as puzzling as to why they so consistently feel the need to do so. Even when supposedly talking in a recent sermon about God’s alleged Glory, Caleb uttered the following phrase, and I am literally, quite apprehensive that I’ll ever be able to top it, much less get it out of my head:

“I AM NOT GOING TO BE WORRIED ABOUT THE UNCIRCUMCISED PHILISTINE WHO WANTS TO DEFY THE ARMIES OF THE LIVING GOD!”

Over the years, I’ve written a lot of jokes. Tons, in fact. But as this statement of personal fortitude was delivered in a SERMON no less, I find myself seriously reconsidering my life choices, and giving solemn pause to the idea that I should follow my long-quashed dream about becoming the lead singer for a Stryper cover band.

(Admit it… you know I could totally rock this look.)

As I’ve said oft-times before, and most likely will again in the future to come, I’m sure that there’s nothing to unpack there, given all the phallic symbolism that these people so desperately cling to, very much in the same way that Madonna death-grips her rapidly fading youth, and cultural relevance.

To his credit, our profiteering pastor is in the best of form when it comes to navigating the overly complicated world of finance, save for the minor fact that when it comes to applying a spiritual strategy to the arena of investment based in the celestial, he does so as if he were a drunken ball inside a Plinko game. And one that’s most assuredly, has been crudely stripped of its crucial inner mechanics.

“After we send your debt to our mythical Lord and celestial bookkeeper, via a thick choking cloud of potentially polluting and toxic smoke, we’re going to all go sit in the room where we seriously discuss the magical boat from the Middle East, that was filled with all of God’s creatures.

This of course, included penguins who, after walking and swimming from Antarctica, somehow, found a ship that was landlocked smack dab square in the middle of a freaking desert. And after that, we’ll address the subject of managing one’s personal finances, like clear-headed adults.”

I hate to be the one that has to point this out to you, salad brain, but burning a paper bill, does not, in fact, erase the original debt it represents. And if I were to be a bit snide, I don’t think a deity that always pleads poverty every Sunday, is gonna be the one that pours metaphorical gold back into thy coffers… just saying. But let’s not worry about that, because our resident Chaplain of Capitalism here, has in inside track on the hottest yet not even remotely newest, monetary venture, the “Kingdom Economy”!.
Sorry, Boys and Girls, but in order for you to make money, God is gonna have to ask you for a cut off the top first. However, you know he’ll pay you back, post haste. With interest, Pinky swear. That’s why it says “In God we Trust” on our currency, because Jesus is all about making it rain.

Just ask all those moneylenders in the Temple… I’m sure they’ll vouch for him in a heartbeat.
Also keep in mind, that sure, you may be the one going to work every day and doing all the heavy lifting, but in the end, it’s really God who deserves the credit for your labors. And as long as you remember to put God’s 401K ahead of your own, he might even grant you the privilege to keep doing doing so, until you drop dead on your 20-minute lunch break. What a guy.
“You will lack Nothing”, says the poseur Pastor whose lifestyle is supported solely by his doubling as customers spiritual flock, and who instructed them to put God first before themselves, but I’m sure that’s just a case of awkward semantics, at worst. But then again, I also still hold out hope that my parents are going to come back to that mall where they dropped me off that one fine summer day, 45 years ago.

Obviously, buying cigarettes and returning to get me, posed a far greater challenge than either one realized at the time, which I’m quite certain, must have happened a lot during the seventies. I don’t know how Caleb gets his in-fleecing mode flock to believe this bunkum, but it’s also fair to say that it’s not like he’s been liquidating his *Flavor-Aid stock so that he can open up a satellite branch in Guyana, either… yet.

*[Despite the Urban legend, it was cyanide-laced Flavor-Aid that the victims at Jonestown drank, which to this day must make the PR team at Kool-Ade, madder than hell,]

I could, if I was truly feeling my Honey-Nut Cheerios in regards to this self-serving call for “seed sowing”, by citing Matthew 19: 21 which notates that; “Jesus said unto him, If thou wilt be perfect, go and sell that thou hast, and give to the poor, and thou shalt have treasure in heaven: and come and follow me”. but I’m almost certain that our religious capitalist had to have taken it into consideration before he crafted these monetary morsels of wisdom.

However, all clearly obvious jokes aside, let it never be said that Caleb is a one-cult-pony, for he’s a man with range. Along with his pandering of the pulpit, his disdain for the still fore-skinned, and his side-hustle as a writer of apocalyptic vision porn, he’s also a modern-day Patriot, cut from the same partisan polyester as other noted White Nationalists, such as Josh Hawley, Matt Gaetz, and America’s greatest champion against the ongoing scourge of Jewish space-lasers, Marjorie Taylor Greene.

I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean to say “White Nationalists”, so much as I meant to say “Unamerican Tiki-torching twat-burgers”. My sincerest apologies, all around. Damnit. I did it again. The descriptive I should have applied here is “Cravenly Connoisseurs of Fascism”, which I feel, is far more accurate, in light of the abominable amalgamation of faux cultural pride, inner spirituality, and Stalinist totalitarianism

If it turns out they find themselves still needing a grounding image to truly exemplify what ideological constructs the GQP will be presenting for the 2024 campaign, America itself, and for the time beyond, I’d suggest they go with this:Hey, if they’re allowed to endlessly strum the Hyperbole Harp, then we should be allowed the same courtesy too. As to the nationalism descriptive I’ve hurled, I’ll address that in a moment, but first, let’s enjoy some further examples of the misconstrued patriotism that Poseur Caleb hawks as if he were working a street corner in Alphabet City:

I don’t know the exact answer to your question Caleb, but I’d surmise it might be similar to the belief that not getting sick and spreading a virulent pathogen to others, is usually a good thing, but that’s just off the top of my head, which unlike yours, doesn’t come to a point. What nerve these businesses have, asking the general public to willingly assist in their efforts keep their employees, customers, and vendors as safe as possible in the middle of an increasingly resistant pandemic.

Bastards! Bastards all. Thank the stars, that your deity never wasted a moment of his time on the sick.

That’s okay… we in all actuality, never want to see one of your candy-assed temper tantrums ever again either, so I guess there’s common ground to be had, after all. I don’t want to sound condescending, but you really can’t call it a “rally:, when it’s always the same 24 White people who show up replete with their lawn chairs, Chinese-made Trump hats, “Trump 2024” flags, and an actively worsening case of Trump Derangement Syndrome, (AKA:TDS)

This affliction, which causes its sufferers to believe that a traitorous and sexually assaulting adulterer, who lost both the popular vote and the electoral college, was somehow worthy of ever having been this country’s President, can oft be reversed with a steadfast regimen of Reality, Education, and swearing off Right-wing media, but sadly, most of its victims eventually succumb to their own stupidity, and spend the rest of their wretched lives, screaming at the empty sky.

That is, if they haven’t killed themselves attempting to make toast, of course. And when it comes to “Tyranny” Caleb? While it’s nice to see that you can spell it correctly, you sure as heck can’t define it.

Is it just me, or do you also get the feeling that if Caleb has any tattoos, they’re probably all quotes from The Turner Diaries? Where are the Patriot whatevers, he asks?  Well, if past history can be used as a yardstick of any measure, they’re either playing “I’m a Militia” in the woods of Michigan, or more likely, embarrassing themselves and their loved ones in public, as they argue pointlessly as to why they don’t need to wear a mask like everybody else is currently doing without histrionics.

Despite his protections that he can’t find the true patriots, all Caleb has ever had to do to determine their whereabouts, is to look sharply to his extreme Right, and he’ll find them literally “Right” where he left them.  Who are these intimately connected paragons of American Patriotism and Christian values whose support and friendship Caleb treasures so deeply, you ask?

Only the Cowboys for Trump, of course, because there’s no more natural alliance to be made than the one between a New York supposed billionaire who sexually assaults women, and, a group of allegedly racist blue-collar cowboys, who when not threatening politicians with bodily harm, infer the same should be visited upon terrified immigrants, just like the brown-skinned Jew that they claim to worship, would do.

Because as the Good Book tells us, in Shitheadius 10:1; “And the Lord gathered the Morons of the arid Lands replete with green chiles, and bade them to care not for others or themselves, for the sale of books with covers too far apart, must continue unabated, and to be haughty and dance like uncircumcised Philistines, in front of the official scribes who would note their jackassery for the age, with great humor and infinite sadness.”  

For if there’s one demographic that the Son of God would willingly ally himself with, it would most definitely, be a group of seemingly bigoted Cowboys who’d allegedly bone a steer, long before they’d ever brand it. Assembling as a whole at a New Mexican church in May of this year, this pathetic hissy-fit masquerading as a PR stunt, was in defiance of an executive order declared by New Mexico’s Governor Michele Lujan Grisham, that church services could only have a 25-percent capacity gathered in adoration.

In light of their action, these two forces of Southwestern flatulence, unwittingly offered up yet another take on WWJD, by asking the (as of yet) unanswered question of, “Who Would Jesus Deport?”. And as I’ve inferred throughout this screed, there’s no better way to back up your POV, quite like citing a Bronze Age book of fairy tales, in lieu of an actual counter-argument using empirical evidence.

Revelation 12:11; “And they overcame him by the blood of the Lamb, and by the word of their testimony; and they loved not their lives unto the death.” Remember my earlier joke that Poseur Caleb was going to open a satellite location in Guyana? Good. Because I seriously think he just added a Flavor-Ade water slide, log ride, and vending machines, to the projected layout.

Seriously, what in the actual f**k is wrong with this person? The concept of a Death cult is not new by any stretch, but mythical Jesus F**king Christ, there hardly seems an existent need for such nowadays, notwithstanding the possible release of a new Highlander movie in the future, for lack of a better example. One question arises however- if these pious pinheads truly don’t fear Death, for heaven awaits, then why are they seemingly afraid of everything else on Earth that doesn’t neatly jibe with their fairy tale ideology?

As I’ve stated previously; “if I had an all-powerful, all-knowing deity in the BFF position, I’d constantly be making grilled cheese sandwiches and Flaming Sambucas, while sitting in the middle of the campfire..” I am however, not going to accept whatever final sacrament Caleb might offer me, though. It’s not that I fear cyanide. It’s more that I find Flavor’s version of fruit punch to be far too sweet. In retrospect, lacing it with cyanide might actually take that sickly edge off of it, so there’s the upside,First things first, you constitutional cuckold. The Separation 0\f Church and State is in itself, not a “lie”, unless of course, you’re measuring it against your fever-dream of a fully theocratic United States, which I’m happy to say, is never gonna f**king happen. EVER. Why, you cry? Because of the Establishment and Free Exercise Clauses, I gleefully retort.

As noted within the First Amendment to the United States Constitution, it simply states that: “Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof.” In layman’s terms, this means that you can practice your religion openly, regardless of which one it is that you’ve chosen, and without having to fear any form of unreasonable consequence, for doing so.

It also means that despite the claims of cafeteria Christians across this great nation, THERE IS NO “OFFICIAL” RELIGION THAT REPRESENTS THE UNITED STATES, so y’all can go suck a duck, with whatever technique you wish, although I’m morally obligated to inform you that engaging in such an act, consensual or not, might be illegal in most principalities as a rule of thumb. Therefore, I’d also strongly recommend that you at least undertake some diligent research, before you decide to get amorous with any random mallard.

Consequently, the only ‘lie’ being told here, is the one that faux Christian patriots tell themselves every night as they say there’s no such separation, and the one Caleb tells himself, as he shirks responsibility for his role in disseminating the recognized falsehood of such.

But it’s not all bad news for the overly sanctimonious among us, for you’re an established church or a member of the clergy thereof, and possess eve a small measure of promotional savvy, you can in theory, use your tax-free gilded shelter to build your particular brand of liturgical ludicrousness into either a long-term career fleecing the gullible, or perhaps, even into a collection of notably wretched wet-dreams, centered on the machinations of a sociopathic and wholly imaginary deity, who grants wishes and celestial lottery tickets to his followers, but only on the condition that he can do so, mysteriously.

Concerning the cease and desist letter that Poseur Caleb received from NM’s “Tyrannical” governor, it all comes back to Cooper’s unfounded, unintelligent, and unconceivable, anti-masking stance, based on his misapprehension of that old’ adage “WWJD”: which, when placed in the arrogant hands of Poseur Caleb, mutates into  “Whom Would Jesus Doom” instead, as evidenced by the screenshot below:An inconvenient observation, to lighten the mood. Despite the scads of local, national, and intercontinental media and health agency reports of Clergy and their citizen charges dying of COVID, the dumbf**ks of divination, such as Caleb here, still fall back on the proven to be false bullspit of “God will protect me”, regardless of what all the empirical evidence says in opposition.

That is, when he’s not posting fatally sociopathic, and mentally harmful reassurance like this:  

For the record, Matthew 5:10 says absolutely nothing about death, and even far less about the accepted definition of true tyranny, nothing that; “Blessed are they which are persecuted for righteousness’ sake for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.”  And while the two concepts can share some commonalities, they are defined individually as such: TYRANNY: “a government in which absolute power is vested in a single ruler”, versus PERSECUTION: “the act or practice of persecuting especially those who differ in origin, religion, or social outlook.”

That last portrayal ironically enough, does dovetail neatly with your belligerent religion’s habit of attacking non-Christian faiths, the LGBTQ community, social protestors, and atheists, but I’ll digests for now, as there’s no reason to keep beating a dead horse. However, our first definitive only becomes less apt to Caleb’s complaint, when one remembers how Trumpists, such as himself, slavishly lauded Donald Trump when he was President, as the supreme authority over all matters, whether they’d be militaristic, economic, societal, religious, ethical, or as he so disastrously demonstrated, medically relevant.

And as for his quote from the Big Book of Bronze Age Balderdash?

All I can say in retort is this: you’re not being “persecuted” because you’re a Christian [so-called] Pastor asserting a position against an illegal governmental overreach, faux as that opinion is, you’re being held accountable for breaking the established law of the land, for no other reason than to hawk your menial ministry, and its product line of badly-written fan-fiction-themed mash notes to a God you don’t represent, or more importantly, honor.

And once again, if you are a believer, and you “no longer fears death and persecution”, then why are you whining like a candy-assed bitch about being subject to getting served with a C and D? Thou doth protest too much, methinks. Then again, I can only imagine how hard it must be to earn your 13 pieces of silver, especially when the rules you reserve for others, are found to equally apply to you as well. And in answer to your query of “ARE YOU NOT READY TO MEET JESUS?”, I can only respond with the riposte that if you and I have to both sit at the same table making small talk, I’d rather go to Hell.

Besides, it isn’t like you’re not going to eventually show up there someday anyway, so I might as well cut out the middleman messiah, if only to free up his ever so busy schedule of appearing in clouds and tortillas.

Speaking of keeping up appearances, I became immensely curious about Caleb’s Biblical education, especially when during the course of my research for this creed, that FountainGate School of Revival, the seminary where he acquired his Doctorate Degree in Biblical Studies, along with not even being listed among the top 50 theological schools in the United Sates, doesn’t even have a physical campus at all, as its course of studies are exclusively online.

At first appraisal, this might give its degrees of completion a cachet more akin to the honorary ones bestowed upon celebrities, allowing for far less bragging rights than those accredited by actually respected spiritual institutions, such as Wheaton College or Pepperdine University, but I refuse to split wigs until I get to know who they are, and what they’re all about.

Seems only fair, right? After all, I definitely don’t wat to come off as an uncircumcised Philistine, not that Caleb and crew aren’t even remotely scared by those, half as much as they are by facts. And I assure you, there’s no foreskin shadowing involved, in regards to any of this:

From the FountainGate School of Revival website, a brief description of who and what they be: FGSOR, a TransWorld Accrediting Commission accredited Bible College offers Associate of Arts (AA), Bachelor of Arts (BA), and Master of Arts (MA) degree programs in Biblical Studies and Missions with emphasis in the following areas:

  • Biblical Studies
  • History of Revival and Revivalists
  • Components of Revival
  • Revival Now Activation
  • Developing Your Spirit-Filled Gifts
  • Ministry Experience / Evangelism
  • Prophetic Impartation / International Missions

Overlooking the exclusion of necessary commas, this reads like standard for profit school boilerplate, does it not? Sure, it does. That is, until you read the rest of what they stand for. And as I don’t want to be accused of selective editing, here’s the proof, straight from the hollowed [pun intended] virtual halls of what Trump University could have been, if its creators had only known how to promote the imaginary Apocalypse, instead of the imaginary genius of a failed reality TV show host.

Translation: “We’re currently in the process of warping the reality of still-developing minds in order to continue the cycle of societal carnage that organized religion inflicts upon the world, as a means to make Society at large, less like Utopia, and more like Gilead.”.

Translation: “Through the application of Bronze-Age fairy tales, cherry-pocked conclusions, and a steady immersion in a pond unfounded doomsaying, we will train you to go forth, traveling securely with a sales pitch so ludicrously insane that only the late L. Ron Hubbard could ever challenge it, as you f**k up both multiple communities, and their formerly rational denizens, across the globe.”
Translation: “Those who once laughed at us, will be laughing no longer, once we get in charge. Count on it. But don’t worry- we’re only going to try and legally [of course] persecute the LCBTQ community, their allies, atheists, humanists, scientists, free-thinkers, non-Christians or those Christians that don’t fit our definition of what “a true Christian” is, as well as women who want body autonomy or express opinions, and those pesky outlanders from other countries, if they don’t renounce their heathen ways.”

Even better, at least whereas my darkly twisted sense of humor is concerned, is the fact that since they don’t have an actual campus, they were forced to use stock photography in order to depict their so-called “students”. What’s next to discover, finding out that their IT guy website designer, and office coffee gopher are all the same person, you know… the nephew who works for free, and is still attending high school?

And here we are, worried about the Taliban and border security, when these nutbar Nazarenes are running around, completely unsupervised? I don’t mean to be disparaging, truly I don’t, but given the lack of intellectual gravitas I’ve seen displayed by Caleb, why do I get the feeling that if this “school” ever did manage to establish a physical campus, the only requirements to enter would be based on no more than an ability to open the front door, and have your personal check clear?

Nevertheless, while Caleb’s spiritual coffers may be skipping along smoothly, its fairly obvious that his academic ones are severely overdrawn at best, especially where engaging in research regarding the current pandemic is concerned. I mean it’s one thing to believe that God will “protect” you, despite all evidence to the contrary, but to willingly ignore the fact that a good chunk of those who’ve already died from COVID had to be as equally religious, and yet still wound up as casket citizenry, should at least, you’d think, cause him to engage in a moment of inner reflection. 

I don’t know. Maybe he’s waiting for a sign or something even more subtle, if not openly mysterious for instance. Like when a team of ICU doctors are forced to shove respirator tubes down his kids’ throats, due to his being bereft of common sense. For my part, I hope that this never happens, but if did come to pass that some member of his family had to be afflicted, and he was the only one that got sick, I’d love to see if he would indeed, fall back on his Faith as he’s been claiming or if he would show up at his local Emergency room, begging for the assistance that he supposedly thinks God will provide.

Either way it plays out, the Schadenfreude would be epic, if not worth the wait

Nevertheless, since God still works in mysterious ways, we can really do nothing, save to sit on our sanitized hands and wait, so while we do, let’s enjoy yet another slice of nattering-iced nut-cake, and let the crumbs fall where they may:So much faux badassery within this totally believable declaration, is there not? First, since almost all of NM is under some form of mandate, there’s very few (if any) places where you can go maskless without reproach. Second, NO ONE IS THREATENING TO POKE YOUR FAMILY WITH A NEEDLE AGAINST THEIR WILL, YOU CONSPIRACY-CHUGGING CHOAD. And third, try looking on the upside. If “they” do close your church, think of all the time you’ll now have to write yet another self-published tome targeting the gullible among your flock, who, unlike us, actually believe its literature, and not a coaster in disguise.

Regarding he edict of Ephesians 6:13; “Wherefore take unto you the whole armour of God, that ye may be able to withstand in the evil day, and having done all, to stand”, that might work when you’re facing an emissary of Evil hat’s wholly imaginary, but it doesn’t do f**k-all, when it comes to infectious disease. Any other questions before we enter this next wave of the Global Storm, you asked? I do have one, at least. But since it involves settling my curiosity as to whether or not you played astronaut as a child using a bread bag tied tightly around your head sans air holes, I’ll save if for another time.Say what you will about our poseur pastor here, and I encourage you to do so, but he could teach a group of three-year-old’s a thing or two about throwing a pissy-hissy-fit, and I mean that as a compliment. Once again, you dumbass of deceitful divination, NO ONE IS THREATENING TO POKE YOU, OR ANYONE ELSE FOR THAT MATTER, WITH A NEEDLE AGAINST THEIR WILL.

The only thing anyone might be interested in sticking you or your Stockholm syndrome afflicted family with, would be a copy of a science book, or come to think of it, any book that unlike the one you use to rationalize your ignorance, doesn’t require you to have the intellect of a four-year-old to believe what’s contained within it.

Look, I understand. I really do. It’s difficult to sell your particularly unappetizing brand of Apocalypse anchovies without the ability to paint you and your followers as being under some form of constant attack, as provided by your enemies, both real and imagined, but you’re stretching the concept in practice a bit here, even by your standards. Which to be fair, are already set so low, that cockroaches have to limbo, just so they can travel underneath them.

Seriously… where do you get this bullspit from, Caleb? Is the source the alleged voices in that empty melon you call a head, or are you just psychically channeling the thoughts of crazy dead people, who just so happen to be speaking in tongues?

And as a side query, what exactly did you mean when you said “It’s time to take rebuke the devil”/ I assume that there’s an extra and unnecessary “take” in there, due to your getting overexcited at the prospect of sermonizing via meme, as well as thinking that an imaginary construct would even pay attention to you in the first place.

Nonetheless, in the future, do yourself and us, a favor next time before you type out inanity such as this, by taking a few extra minutes in the bathroom and hand-stoking that hell-fire right out of your brain before you decide to go and spray it all over the pixelated page, ok Sparky?

Thanks. You’re a peach.

And by the way, it was always taught to me as a child that God’s judgement was the highest court in the land, but I can understand why it is no longer. It’s gotta be a bitch trying to find a lawyer, when most of the truly experienced ones, are already in Hell, and out of the celestial court’s reach.Has anyone else noticed that the morons who screech the loudest about others needing to “wake up”, are usually the same ones complaining about these they’re ideologically opposed to, being “woke”, as they themselves, sleepwalk through Reality? I’m sure there’s nothing to take away from that. Not only are the mandates well within the boundaries of constitutional law, as I’ve explained in previous screeds, but I’ll also take the position that protecting the populace from an infectious disease, is truly the singular item that’s not to be found in Satan’s wheelhouse, either.

Don’t get me wrong, as he’s no more than a mythical construct and all, but helping humanity really isn’t the niche that he’s become known for. I’m open to the odea that as Evil Incarnate, he could be solely responsible for the Star Wars prequels, every Highlander sequel, and the Kardashians getting a TV show, but throwing us talking monkeys a bone without making us sign a contract written in blood first?

So not his style. But I will float the possibility, given all the adulterers, grifters, homophobes, xenophobes, jingoists, racists, and misogynists that are the baseboards of the current GQP, that conservatives are in for (pardon the pun) one “Hell” of a BBQ when the end days finally do arrive.  It’s going to be an even bigger shock when they discover they’re going to be both the guests of honor, as well as the main course.Two points. The first being that yes, government is a/the problem. Always has been, always will be. That is, until AI takes everything over, and we can finally free ourselves pf ego, bureaucracy, and the aggravation of having to “take a number”, only to be told when it gets called, that we’ve been waiting in the wrong line for 45 minutes. The second point of mine is that I, nor anybody else for that matter, should take any advice concerning constitutional legalities, medical protocol, or social grace, from a guy whose Doctorate in magical unicorn thinking was issued by the Christian equivalent of DeVry University.  

To that end, let’s take a gander at the newest perversion of the Word as a means to get around the necessary mandates, that being the bogus claim of “religious exemption”. It is not for me to say that the concept of religious exemption is in itself bogus, as a refusal to serve in the military could fall under this social provision, but when it comes to masking protocols and social distancing, this is yet another pathetically transparent dodge by a divining demographic that shirks personal accountability in the very same manner that Neo avoids bullets in the Matrix.
What exactly is the accepted definition of religious exemption, and how is it being openly abused in this, the age of pandemic, you wonder? Well, here you go: “the act of exempting, or state of being exempt, due to personally held religious convictions.” In simpler terms, it gives one the right to refuse being part of, or engaging in, any willing course of action that would violate the tenets of one’s strongly-held spiritual beliefs. On the surface, this stance in nobility is laudable, the willingness to hold firm for what you believe to be just, and all that

Dig deeper in regards to some of these people’s claim of conviction however, and you’ll find that the depth of their dignity is thinner than the veneer on an IKEA coffee table. Case in point? Take this op-ed article, written by Pastor Keith Marshall, who uses DIRECTLY QUOTED SCRIPTURE to argue the case as to why the clause of religious exemption does not unswervingly apply to the current COVOD crisis:
Now, as a recap, here we have an ordained Man of God, using edicts dictated straight out of the mouth of the Holy Father himself, which by that alleged fact alone, punch a huge hole in the bullspit boat that these spiritual sociopaths use to float their selfishly justified narrative against the current of Reality. I’m pretty sure I got that part right. In fact, who could possibly get it wrong, considering who the original author of the source material is, and who the writer of the op-ed is known to work for?

Certainly, not a self-decreed Christian, who’s been dyed in the wool of the Lamb, and consistently prone to posting scripture and personal judgments alike, supposedly based upon the same soul owner’s manual the good pastor referenced, am I right?  If course I am. It just stands to reason, that if a chosen warrior of the one true God quotes verbatim from the Word itself, only the most hypocritical and insolent of his children would dare cast disparagement upon it.

Fortunately, outside of our featured Poseur Pastor himself, I can’t imagine anyone else who would do such a thing, and most definitely, they sure as heck, wouldn’t dare to do so in pub…
…sigh… oh hello, Ruth. What brings you back around? Couldn’t handle going five minutes without embarrassing yourself, your family, and least important of all, your invented deity? Let me get this straight, if I may. Despite this minister using THE EXACT SAME WORDS you claim to follow, you’re “glad” that this man whose advocacy for personal spiritual action answers the question of WWJD in its purest distillation, is not your pastor?

Something tells me that both he, and to a lesser extent, the late noted Satanist Anton Szandor LaVey, would breathe a huge sigh of relief upon finding this out. Pastor Marshall, because he wouldn’t see the point in arguing with your misinterpreting and willfully churlish ass, and in the case of LaVey, because as an ardent Satanist, he’d prefer not to hang out with persons as morally rudderless as yourself.

Yeah, you read that right. I called Ruth Darlene Seawolf, Silver City’s answer as to what a Christian cat lady might present look like, “morally rudderless”, and until I manage to craft an even more insulting turn of phrase to adequately describe her, I’ll back it with a bucket of my blood, if necessary. In a blogvella to come, I’ll be more than happy to go into further detail as to why I feel this way, but for now, I’ll just let this slice of sheer hubris referencing the good Pastor’s op-ed, suffice:
By the by, the definition of “woke” applied as a negative, as most conservatives are apt to do, is as follows: “The act of being very pretentious about how much you care about a social issue.”  This slur, is often used without a trace of irony by people of whom it can be easily said, if not proven, stereotypically don’t regard any social issue that doesn’t happen directly to them, as inconsequential, irrespective of whatever the facts to the contrary may be.

You know… things like poverty, lack of job and economic opportunities for minorities, inherent structured racism, homelessness, abject poverty, misogyny, homophobia, wealth inequality, and unequal justice, depending on one’s wealth and social status? So, while this man who’s dedicated his life in servitude to the greater good is “woke”, the deity under whose authoritative morality he does it willingly for, is not?

 I may be going out on a limb here, but logic dictates that the Son of God, who preached Love, Tolerance, Acceptance, Charity, and Brotherhood, may actually be a tad bit more on the woke side than the head shoved completely up your ass contingent, that you and your poseur pastor represent.

Considering that Christianity as a whole, managed to take a dark-skinned Hebrew who was all about the best of Humanity, and mutate him into a pro-war, pro-gun, pro-America, pro-Trump train WASP, is still one of the best reboots ever inflicted upon a work of fiction, and I say this as someone who saw the all-female cast “Ghostbusters”, no less than six times.

Seriously. It’s actually a really good movie, so don’t sell it short, the way that Ruth does her so-called faith on a daily basis. I can’t tell you why, but given all that I’ve observed in regards to her outright hostility towards the World of the Real over the last year or so, especially where the issue of a Supreme Being is concerned, I‘d opine that this might be how she “sells” God to those on the razor’s edge of believing: ,This sole observation of mine aside Ruth, I truly hope that if there ever does come a Day of Judgement, that you and I are next to each other in the queue, because I definitely want the best seat in the house when God gleefully kicks you off his cloud, and straight into the pits of Hell. Granted, I may be arriving there shortly after you, but at least I’ll have a job lined up first.

Regardless of what you and your ignorantly vile ilk born of עֵגֶּל הַזָהָב, [AKA: “ēggel hazāhāv”, AKA: “the Golden calf”] claim to purportedly believe, in my opinion, at best you’re the simplest of liars, and at worst, full-blown sociopaths in training. Here’s the real kicker though, and I hope it gives you some grist for you to mill later on, although if you actually possessed critical thinking skills, you wouldn’t be an adult of advancing age who still accepts a magical zombie as a tangible reality and potential savior.

Just saying.

When it gets right down to the brass nails of crucifixion, claiming a religious exemption for a critically needed public health safety measure, is akin to those self-obsessed pricks who claim that they “need” their pet porcupine to sit next to them on a flight, because it’s an emotional support companion. They’re full pf merde, and quite honestly, so are you. And if it was just you alone, screaming at the sky and affecting no one else, I’d let it be, but it’s not.

Like the COIVID virus itself, your ignorance, your false narratives, and your Christian conspiracy theories infect almost everything it touches, and this last meme I feel, backs up this opinion of mine, for no less than the sheer scope of its asinine audacity:It must be something of a personal luxury to have enough leash to be so consistently wrong, especially when the costs of being so, are borne by others unknown to you. I could easily be slurred for the perception that I’m holding you to my personal standards, but the reality is far worse, for I’m holding you to your own.

Maybe nobody has ever told you this, but God isn’t known for his charity when you deliberately misconstrue his collection of immorality tales to bolster your own personal biases, and in the case of your wolf in lamb’s clothing pastor, to fatten up his Mammon mutual funds. It’s bad enough that he can make bank off what is supposed to be a virtuous message pf hope and salvation, but to know that he uses the cover pf an eth9ically ambiguous tax-shelter to potentially endanger the community at large as well?

Just what the world needs right now- a medical professional who doesn’t believe in [protecting her future patients. Since masks and social distancing “don’t work”, according to you f**king troglodytes, then why bother with following any medical protocol in the first place? Next time you have surgery, let the staff know that proper sterilization is way overrated, and that they can forgo washing their hands and wearing surgical gear as well.

F**k, I can’t wait till the next time I have a medical procedure, and note that  my anesthesiologist is wearing a Motörhead tee-shirt, instead of scrubs. That’s d stunningly unique way to spread the Gospel, let me tell you. Abusing the concept of religious adherence, in order to introduce the denial of established science into a profession tasked with protecting people’s health. Purely insured genius at work

Just think of all the business you’ll be able to send Jesus, by helping unleash a nurse who doesn’t actually believe she should follow the basic fundamentals of her sadly chosen profession- what could possibly go wrong, other than everything?

I can only assume the inherent message to be found within your next sermon: “Sure, Jesus might have clearly stated that you should be your brother’s keeper, but that’s really more of a guideline these days, and besides if you actually did, that might hurt my whole marketing scheme, and rest assured, the Lord that I pimp as if he were Julia Roberts in Pretty Woman, sure doesn’t want that.” 

So in closing, we have a pastor who’s cool with saving established in bad faith careers, in order to maintain his growing status as a Prophet of Profit, and tagging along in his wake, a disingenuous disciple, who, when given her repudiation of GOD’S OWN UNARGUABLE EDICTS as something trivial. I’d suggest that for her own sake, if not her pastors, Ruth should probably stock up on an everlasting replenishing supply of Aloe Vera, because its assuredly cooing to be an absolute necessity where she and her alleged partner in spiritual slime, are going to be wantonly witnessing for eternity.

That is, if Matthew 7:21-23 is even remotely close to being on the money: “”Not everyone that saith unto me, Lord, Lord, shall enter into the kingdom of heaven; but he that doeth the will of my Father which is in heaven. Many will say to me in that day, Lord, Lord, have we not prophesied in thy name? and in thy name have cast out devils? and in thy name done many wonderful works? And then will I profess unto them, I never knew you: depart from me, ye that work iniquity.”

Thus endeth the summon of snark, my brothers and sisters. For now.
But when I come back…

I undertake yet another deep dive into a collective quorum of mental midgetry, topped off with a candy-assed-and-not-a-babe-Ruth, discuss some health stuff straight out pf the fevered imagination of H.P. Lovecraft, highlight some behind-the-scenes intrigue, and prepare myself for an upcoming Battle Royale, with persons too intellectually dense to even know what that is.   

“Therefore the Lord said: “Inasmuch as this people draw near Me with their mouth and with their lips do honor Me, but have removed their heart far from Me, and their fear toward Me is taught by the precept of men,” – Isaiah 29:13