Bitter Fruit PT. 2 (Attack of the Shriller Tomato.)
May 26, 2011
In regards to my literary snarkiness, I’m just having some fun while simultaneously pointing out what (or Whom) I see as potential issues. You don’t have to agree with me.You don’t have to like what I say at all.Heck- you can even call me names if that makes you feel better / smarter / taller / prettier.
“Dear balding, pony-tailed, third-grader Reich,
Ouch. The sales rep at the Hair Club for Men said no one would be able to tell- however, may I point out how nice I find it that you pay attention to my looks.
“people pity you in Phoenix”
Whereas you are hated everywhere you go. I think I win on this one.
“What career? You suck as an artist,”
If that’s true, I’ve been sucking professionally for the last twenty years- and since my stuff is still selling, something tells me you might be a tad bit off on this one.
“and as a human being.”
Sorry? I was chopping up babies for my soup and didn’t hear what you were saying.
“And your ridiculous obsession continues.”
As does yours, my sassy Tomato. You’ve been following my comments across THREE separate forums, so zip your anonymous lip. I want better Arts coverage in PHX, and I want a media outlet who claims to do so, actually do it competently- wow, I am such a bastard.
“New Times, which obviously doesn’t give a shit what you think or that you exist, barely has six staff writers.”
That must be why they keep releasing the trolls and wrote a slam article on me a while back. Methinks thou doth protest too much- hence, my whole “bloggers do not reporters make” point as of late.
“Who exactly has Amy Silverman run off? Steve Jansen works for New Times’ sister paper in Houston (got a promotion), Sarah Fenske is the managing editor of its sister paper in St. Louis (got a promotion).”
Well Tomato, I’ve actually covered this issue a few times in the other forums, but since you’re thick, I’ll go slow. Sarah’s promotion was already mentioned (several months ago)in one of my past blogs, and I would point out that she got the job in 1/2 the time it took Amy to acquire her position.
Interesting that you are so up to date on this internal employee stuff, I wonder why that is. Hmm…
“You act like you have all this insider information, that you have done so much “research,” when you don’t know anything. Oh, you have sources. Right, suuuurrreee you do.”
Actually, I do, and my email inbox proves it daily. Like I told you earlier, you can mock me all you want, but unlike you, I can back up my points.
Interesting how you consistently won’t debate the issues I’ve raised, but attempt to deflect the focus by throwing slander randomly- hoping some of it will stick.
“OK, now you can pen another gigantic rant about how I’m full of shit and you are so great and right on and that New Times is so awful.”
And you can keep writing those amazing run-on sentences that bring me so much joy.
“You are as predictible as boiling heat in August.”
And you are as boring as an evening spent folding socks- we all have our little quirks.
“Go ahead. Continue making a fool of your petty-ass self””
I will Tomato. But only if you keep promising to hide under the Internet’s bed.
You know- where you can pretend you have a set?
missing you already,
Wayne Michael Reich
Let me retort.
“You’re so easy to fuck with, Wayne. So touchy”.
Yep – the opinion of a cowardly troll whom I don’t like, respect or fear, carries so much weight with me. Nice F-bomb by the way.. classy.
Sorry- am I on your hair?
“See, I told you that you’d have to rant once more.”
And if I hadn’t responded, you’d be crowing about how you showed me something. Typical- dammed if I do, dammed if I don’t, so I’ll pick “do”, mainly since having a battle of wits with you is like talking to an ashtray- it’s just not interesting.
“Like I say, you don’t know shit, and you don’t stand for shit.”
Oh yes, you’ve proven that with your mature frothing at the mouth rants.
“Nobody cares about your little war with some New Times arts editor, or what you think, in general.”
Why do you keep coming here then, princess? And she’s the Managing Editor- strange that you know the comings and goings of the staff, but not it’s boss. Odd.
Thanks for upgrading my concerns to “war” status- I just thought we where having a debate about NT’s quality sliding.. But war it is then. Awesome- I have a tank I’ve been dying to test drive!
“No need to bring up all those sad, angry Yumans you riled up.”
Oh yes- I riled them up. Amy’s article had nothing to do with it, of course. With all that influence, I’ve been thinking I should start my own cult. Come on by the compound sometime, and I’ll make you some Kool Aid.
“They only care about their little shithole, not about the stupid points you think you’re making.”
What’s your issue with Yuma, I ask yet again? And if my points are stupid, then why can’t you defend your point of view? Seems like it would be simple.
” It’s pretty much you and two other malcontented, faux-artist nitwits who bolster your insane positions.”
Wow, do you really think that your slander will stick? You’ve lobbed a jazillion different insults at me so far, and they’ve all slid off my back as if I were a Teflon coated duck.
If this is your best shot, I actually feel sorry for you. the only faux thing here is you, cyber-coward.
“And, of course, your own, as you put it, “troll” comments.”
Sorry, I don’t speak “doodyhead”- care to translate that for the rest of us mammals?
“Got to admit, I like that one: very Billy Goat Gruff.”
Well you are a tin foil hat wearing, cat collecting kind of guy, so I figured you would.
“Keep it up.”
As long as you keep yours tucked in, I will.
“Everybody gets a good laugh every time you do — at your expense.”
Thanks, but I’m really not known for picking up the check, so you can get it on your way out, I’m sure.Stay sassy and classy, you sexy Tomato…
Wayne Michael Reich
Tomato (The anonymous fruit) So glad to see you come out from under your bridge- I have missed you! If I didn’t know any better, I’d say you have a personal axe to grind with me- save for the fact that you’re too craven to come out from the Internet’s closet to wield it.
Anonymous screeching suits you, since in real life- you’re obviously too cowardly to say anything directly to those who would best you. Poor Tomato, maybe one day you’ll be a big girl.
No matter how many times you are smacked, you just keep coming back for more. You’re just like one of Charlie Sheen’s girlfriends- minus the “hot slut” factor. Now along those lines, let me see what I can do to feed your “I’ve been a bad girl and need to be punished” complex.
“I can see the old-man, pony-tail thing really gets to you, Wayne.”
Where do you “see” this Tomato? The only person seemingly obsessing about my hairline is you, and to a lesser degree- my stylist. Personally, I would recommend you check out my ass, as I’ve been told multiple times that it’s quite fantastic. And as for the pony tail- I have long hair and a beehive just doesn’t cut it where I work, much to my chagrin.
“It’s the second worst thing anybody can say about a man, right?”
I wouldn’t know actually, but you DO seem to be an expert on the subject- care to share why?
“And, Jeeze, if you were really such an important artist, you wouldn’t have all this time to react (so beyone-belief voluminously) to my little snippets, and those of anybody else who dares disagaree with you, now would you? “
I wasn’t aware that taking five free minutes out of my day qualifies as “all this time”, since with all due respect- answering your unhinged lunacy is my laid-back version of playing Angry Birds. And nowhere near as difficult, I might add. I actually made a sandwich while typing this! (It’s a BLT in case anyone’s interested.)
“I know you think you’re being clever with these hurricane windy posts, which is all the more pathetic…”
Yet you keep responding to them (across 3 forums) like Pavlov’s inbred rescue puppy. I do these for fun- what’s your angle, anonymous cyber-coward? Pointing out that you seem to be taking this way too personally for a so called casual observer, one would think that perhaps you have an issue with me in the world of the real, and can’t do anything about it there either, since at best- you’re milquetoast.
“Here’s an idea:”
Are you sure you would know how to actually recognize one if you saw it?
“spend more time on your “art” so maybe you can someday get noticed by the newspaper you admire/obsess about so much”
Your concern for my career is touching, but it’s middling along just fine, thank you very much. Being “noticed” by the “Pennysaver with Porn” is obviously not what I’m after, Tomato- just like you’re not brave enough to fight without the cloak of anonymity clutched about you.
You can rant/rave/froth/imply/impugn/distort all you want, my sassy Tomato. As long as people can go check out for themselves what I’ve been saying, your opinion matters not one iota.But you knew that already, didn’t you? Thus ends the bitch-smack- for now.Come back anytime you need an attitude adjustment- I don’t charge friends. (BTW- I wrote this in four minutes flat- was that quick enough for you?)
Wayne Michael Reich
Tomato- God- what has it been? Seems like days since I heard from you. And even longer since you had a rational response. As I noted earlier, you’re my version of Angry Birds, so let’s play.
Why? I’m having way too much fun with you.
In that case… I double dog dare you.. to make a logical argument. Sorry- forgot you can’t actually do that.
“Cause with every windy post, you prove my point.”
Which is what exactly, again? Rather than actually debate, you’ve been throwing insults akin to a third grader- hardly intellectual stuff. What’s next, are you going to call me (gasp!) some more names? Oh, the windy horror.
“So insanely defensive!”
So inanely derisive. (I’ll wait while you go fetch a Thesaurus)
“Did your mother refuse to hug you enough back when you had all your hair?”
Seriously. All you have now for ammo is “your Momma” jokes? OK.. I’m stepping back from the ledge of stupidity, as your Mother never did anything intentional to me. It’s not her fault they switched her baby with an ineffectual and angry fruit.
“(Wonder how many screens of type my little note here will elicit from WMR?”
Would you rather read my resume? I can drop a copy under the bridge if you like.
“He can make sandwiches as he types his screeds.)”
See- I would regard that as a talent. No wonder it confuses and enrages you.
Until next time, my anonymous cyber-coward.You know I can’t wait.- this relaxes me like you wouldn’t believe.
Wayne Michael Reich
However, I may have to poke a few holes in your theories of Trolling 101, so let’s start.
“Well, maybe WMR doesn’t have half the posts, but he has half the number of words on these comments (check out the original blog on Yuma), because he rants on and on and with almost every post”
Glad you’re keeping score on my posting, but I’m so sorry that a long paragraph fails to hold your attention. Somehow, I’m fairly certain that I won’t lose any sleep over it. I also like how while admitting you were just flat dead wrong, you still manage to rationalize disseminating the wrong information.
If there is an up side to all this, an intelligent conversation with you must clock in way under thirty seconds.
“My guess is that anybody who’s ripping on Amy Silverman or who is defending WMR to the hilt is really WMR.”
So I wrote all 301 responses to the original post, then? Man- I am one prolific cat.
With all due respect, I have a career and a life that surprisingly takes up most of my day, and while it is true that it only takes five minutes or so for me to fire off one of my “rants” [as you put it] I really don’t have that much free time on my hands. While I would love to have my own Wayne Clone Army, I’d like to think that I would utilize them in a much more useful fashion than responding to trolls like yourself.
To suggest that because someone defends my POV or criticizes Amy they have to be me, gives rise to serious thought about how many tin foil hats you own to keep out the mind reader rays from space.
My guess is “lots”.
Feel free to E-mail me at email@example.com with any future crackpot theories, “Alvin”- when you’re done hiding under the skirts of the Internet, that is.
And using your logic, why else would you defend Amy unless you were…… shall we call a duck a duck?
“Why would anybody else have such an unbalanced hatred for a mere writer.”
It’s called doing some research Alvin, and then you could stop asking this particular question again, and again, and….you get my point. And she’s actually the Managing Editor, which is a little more important, I think.
“And he has proof that New Times has slacked why?”
It’s called doing some research Alvin, and then you could stop asking this particular question again, and again, and….you get my point. Oh wait- I said this already.
“Because it did a blog about how Yuma sucks, which it absolutely does. As for Yuma, I know it well. I’ve spent way more time there than i’d like, and I know that what Silverman et al. wrote is mild criticism. I would have been much harsher.”
Call me crazy, but I’m getting this feeling you sort of don’t like the place. It’s subtle, but it’s there.
“Made the trip from my place in Tempe to visit relatives more times than I can count.”
Don’t worry, I’m sure they did. And always with a heavy heart.
“So go peddle your “Yuma is great” crap to people who don’t know better, like the Wyoming writer who wrote that tripe for Sunset, or the idiots at the Chicago Tribune, who would think anyplace was Paris compared to their Artic Circle town.”
So to recap, you hate: Me, my imaginary team of Wayne clone writing defenders, Yuma, possibly Wyoming, Sunset magazine, and the Chicago Tribune.
Sounds perfectly reasonable to me.
Wayne Michael Reich
“Since you asked, Wayne, I have no problem with New Times. It’s a good newspaper in a journalistic wasteland.”
When your answer reads like a press release, it just has to be genuine, right?
“It’s the only thing between us and the rednecks and (in your case) mediocre artists that dominate this landscape.”
You forgot to mention Zombies. Luckily they don’t read this paper, so we still have time to come up with a plan.
“What you’re really mad about it that your art sucks.”
No, what I’m really mad about is bad grammar, inaccurate reporting, and outright lies, wrapped in a shell of high school journalism.
“I’ve looked at it.”
No wonder I feel dirty all over.
“Which is probably why you haven’t gotten the time of day from NT. “Oh, if New Times would only love my snapshots!?”
Actually, there was a time when they really did: http://www.phoenixnewtimes.com/news/tear-down-town-6434066 my work is featured throughout the article, but like all ex girlfriends- they forget the good times that we had together. It’s sad, really.
“Anyway, what makes a failed artist (my opinon, but I’m entitled to it)”
“any expert on whether a newspaper is any good?”
Fair question. I have never said I was an expert, but I am someone who remembers when this paper was respected in the community and as such, I have the right to protest what I see as a slow descent into hack journalism, and you have the right to disagree with me. Preferably through logical debate. Or juvenile name calling. Your choice.
“You should just zip it,”
Thanks, I thought I felt a draft.
“though I doubt you are emotionally able to stop spewing,”
I blame my parents. But then again, I blame yours too.
“because people (at least anybody but these pathetic Yumans) are laughing at you.”
Or with me- it can go either way, you know.
“Maybe, meds would help. Just saying…”
That’s a great idea. Let me know when you need a ride home from the Methadone clinic, and I’ll call you a cab.
Wayne Michael Reich
“Dear disappointed former fan, so effin’ what?!”
Dear Tomato, why do you effin’ care?
“Only New Times and Sunset Magazine hardly are competitors’
This is true. Nice grammar BTW, Sunset has professional journalists, New Times has journalism school hacks.
“What the paper obviously had a problem with was Sunset’s and other publications’ depictions of Yuma as a garden spot.”
And yet- rather that go after Sunset’s depiction, they went after Yuma with a literary hatchet. I see personal pettiness, not a professional overview regarding this article. And many others share my opinion, whether you like it or not.
“That’s total bullshit”
I couldn’t agree more.
“and Amy Silverman and Claire Lawton called BS on these stupid travel articles.”
Then why didn’t they go after any other articles that Sunset previously wrote?
“Hey, are you Wayne’s girlfriend, or possibly even Wayne?”
No such luck, my sassy Tomato. I really do enjoy how every time anyone defends my position, you claim the writer MUST be me. As much as I enjoy this one sided repartee, I don’t really devote more than five minutes or so responding to one of your asinine rants.
It’s obvious you have a personal axe to grind- it’s a shame you’re not man enough to shoulder it.
Wayne Michael Reich
So once again let’s play, shall we?
“Get a load of this: Wayne now thinks New Times doesn’t criticize Phoenix.”
Can I borrow whatever drug you’re currently doing? Anyone with a brain knows this statement is patently false. All the people reading have to do is go down a few responses and follow the links I’ve posted that show you’re fabricating this out of thin air.
“What rock have you been living under?”
Oh you’d like it- it’s all glittery and stuff, and the view is amazing.
“That paper is infamous to going after Phoenix, in every way imaginable.”
Um yeah- I’ve kind of have been saying that for months now. Thanks for coming to the party, but you’re sort of late. And you forgot the beer. Again.
“That’s what the press does, you ninny.”
Um, no. The Press is supposed to inform, enlighten, and sometimes- entertain. Going after easy targets doesn’t strike me as true journalism, especially when both writers obviously didn’t bother to do the merest of research.
“And I note that Wayne thinks that anybody who criticizes HIM has got to be the same person, while eschewing any hint that he may be writing under assumed names to further his vendetta against NT.”
Considering you posted as “Ted” first, then “Tomato”- I consider this statement somewhat hypocritical. And the true meaning of vendetta requires bloodletting, which seems somewhat extreme to me.
“Getting lost in all this is: He started the whole flap by riling up the Yuma populace — when he admits he’s never been there.”
Wow. I started all this? Right. It couldn’t possibly have had anything to do with Amy’s article. Not a chance, says I. With all due respect, Yuma was pretty riled up about the original blog before I came along, and if you’ve had been paying attention you would have noticed that I was invited to Yuma by the Media Director of the Yuma Tourist board, and I look forward to going.
“Becoming obvious in all this is: Wow, a lot of people can’t stand this blowhard. A lot!”
Once again, you’re right on the money. Fortunately, I have a lot more people who do support me with a much firmer grasp on grammar and reality than you.
We could hit every road-side tourist trap along the way, and everything we eat will be deep-fried. This I swear. In the interest of disclosure, I have twice privately offered this olive branch of sorts to Amy, a stony silence the only response I’ve received thus far. Shocked, I am not. Amy isn’t exactly the friendly type, plus there’s that rumored perception of her being a petty and craven bully- not exactly the most endearing traits for a traveling companion.