May 1, 2020
“If I’d written all the truth I knew for the past ten years, about 600 people, including me, would be rotting in prison cells from Rio to Seattle today. Absolute truth is a very rare and dangerous commodity in the context of professional journalism.” – Hunter S. Thompson
Question for the day in two parts: Do we still truly have a Free Press in this country, and if so, why does their journalistic genitalia now resemble the genderless set that Barbies’ forever companion Ken has? I’d normally opine that it’s to protect our children from both unrealistic expectations, if not the uncomfortable questions their imaginative curiosity may unearth, but isn’t the entire purpose of the Fourth Estate to serve as the morally incorruptible Cerberus to our political process?
The iconic broadcast journalist Edward R. Murrow in regards to his chosen profession, once stated that:
“We must not confuse dissent with disloyalty. We must remember always that accusation is not proof and that conviction depends upon evidence and due process of law. We will not walk in fear, one of another.
We will not be driven by fear into an age of unreason, if we dig deep in our history and our doctrine, and remember that we are not descended from fearful men – not from men who feared to write, to speak, to associate, and to defend causes that were, for the moment, unpopular.”
A grave sentiment which when measured against this jaded age of ethically challenged journalism, deserves an introspective overview. Murrow, long held up as a paragon for the inherent purity of what has also been referred to as the Fourth Branch of the government, authored several sage observations regarding the sanctity and intrinsic responsibility of those who act as our advocates in the challenge of protecting our right to know what must not ever be hidden from the populace at large, the most famous of these being:
“Our major obligation is not to mistake slogans for solutions.”
“Everyone is a prisoner of his own experiences. No one can eliminate prejudices–just recognize them.”
“A great many people think they are thinking when they are really rearranging their prejudices.”
“To be persuasive, we must be believable, to be believable, we must be credible, to be credible, we must be truthful.”
”No one can terrorize a whole nation, unless we are all his accomplices.”
However, the most relevant, especially given the reach of today’s over-saturated 24/7 news cycle, may be this: “The speed of communications is wondrous to behold. It is also true that speed can multiply the distribution of information that we know to be untrue.”
On the surface, we hear echoes of these lofty affirmations without fail, from almost every news distributor, no matter what their distillation of the news may be accessible to you as, whether it’s in the form of magazines and newspapers, streamed online content, or your local six o’clock news, it’s been subtly shaped, constructed, and disseminated to the general populace as the only source we should ever trust. The fact that these pre-packaged placebos are deigned to ensnare a specific demographics bias, can be construed as nothing less than troubling, if only for its strongly Orwellian undertones. It’s almost impossible to make an educated decision if the information you’re receiving has been deliberately premeditated to sync up and reinforce the views and opinions you already possess.
In the dystopian tome 1984, if I may reference author George Orwell yet again, the stated ideology of “Who controls the past controls the future: who controls the present controls the past” has, via the crucible of a corporate thirst slaked only by the accruement of power and profit, found itself recast as “Whoever controls the media, controls the mind”, which aims a spotlight upon those shadowy machinations that covertly direct the perception of what modern journalism pretends to represent these days. Back in June of 2010, I wrote about this very sort of thing, and opined that there were only two modes that modern mass media operated in, that being either Fear or Fluff.
To quote myself: “Fear mode dispenses stories about illegal immigrants, vague terror threats, unsubstantiated pandemics, child kidnappings, crime alerts, there’s a [in 2010] black President and everything is his fault, the foods that may kill you- although you have to wait till the 10 PM newscast to find out what those foods are, things that essentially make you want to join the NRA, listen to Sarah Palin, fortify your house with extra ammo, food and water, purchase a nuclear weapon, and vote Republican. Just in case.
Fluff mode on the other hand, feeds you cotton candy- celebutards tweeting, kittens rescued from trees, charity stories, who Madonna is currently sleeping with, or pretty much anything involving Model / Whore / Bad Singer / Bad Actress / Waste of Skin / Paris Hilton. Too much and your brain rots. Think Keanu Reeves. And speaking of brain rot- why does our local news keep testifying to their slobbering masses that they transmit in “Hi Def”? Who gives a rat’s ass? It’s not that important for me to see the mindless 6 and 10 PM Technigore, especially on a $250.00 TV set. Also, “Hi Def” is not, shall we say- kind, to the on-air talent. The first time I saw CH. 3’s morning anchor Patti Kirkpatrick in “Hi Def”, I was instantly reminded of my car’s interior- but only because they’re both constructed out of overworked leather.”
As you can see, even 10 years later, the issue of journalistic competence and my sense of inherent cynicism remain not only pertinent, but unfortunately so. How sad and somewhat terrifying, is it that I can go back a decade and save for a few cultural references, still be able to drop an entire section into a current screed, with nary a ripple stirred? The more things change, the more they remain the same, and all that happy jazz, I guess. What has changed however, is the lack of spine that certain journalists are willingly displaying in the wake of an increasingly fascist presidential administration due to the fear of either losing presidential access, or stunningly, the fear of being tweeted about.
It literally strikes me no less than wholly ridiculous that a cadre of fully-grown and seasoned professionals who’ve covered everything from wars to street-crime are seemingly intimidated by a corpulent, lying, narcissistic, coddled man-toddler, who’s always in some form of sheer meltdown mode. If I ever had a kid who acted this way in public such as he does without any fear of credible repercussion, I’d help answer a few personally-held questions regarding dental aerodynamics and physics as I’d validate whether or not it’s really possible to slap someone’s mouth right out of their skull. And we’d collectively discover whether it’s truly feasible for one to Twitter when your iPhone has been unceremoniously shoved up your ass sideways as well. It’s contemplative thoughts like this by the way, that make me strongly suspect that I might not be cut from the cloth of fatherhood… just saying.
Despite my barbed criticism, I will express a sympathy, albeit one that is limited, towards the unfortunate members of the Press Corps, who after years of paying their dues, finally get to play the big room, only to discover that their careers positional security is based on a critical ability to not accidentally trigger a spray-tanned orangutan into throwing his feces at them, and more importantly, their chosen network. Previously, an individual would most likely actively seek out a news source that as I noted above, appealed to their singular biases and beliefs, which is really not too surprising overall. We like what we like, and as a species, try to keep our comfort zone as cozy as we can make it, given what realities we’re forced to deal with every now and then.
And back in the day, at least outwardly where it’s public persona was concerned, Journalism attempted to market itself as an institution founded on an ideology of incorruptible ethics, although at times it could contain a smattering of political lean- a transparent POV offset by the balance of truly independent counterpoints being also equally presented. This translucent integrity took a severe hit in 1987 when the Fairness Doctrine was eliminated by then President Ronald Reagan who’s veto on legislation designed to save it helped end the policy after being an FCC staple for over three decades.
But what was it exactly, and what does it have to do with the ongoing degradation of political reporting in this country?
From Wikipedia: “The fairness doctrine of the United States Federal Communications Commission (FCC), introduced in 1949, was a policy that required the holders of broadcast licenses to both present controversial issues of public importance and to do so in a manner that was, in the FCC’s view- honest, equitable, and balanced. The FCC eliminated the policy in 1987 and removed the rule that implemented the policy from the Federal Register in August 2011. The fairness doctrine had two basic elements: It required broadcasters to devote some of their airtime to discussing controversial matters of public interest, and to air contrasting views regarding those matters.
Stations were given wide latitude as to how to provide contrasting views: It could be done through news segments, public affairs shows, or editorials. The doctrine did not require equal time for opposing views but required that contrasting viewpoints be presented. The demise of this FCC rule has been considered by some to be a contributing factor for the rising level of party polarization in the United States. The main agenda for the doctrine was to ensure that viewers were exposed to a diversity of viewpoints. In 1969 the United States Supreme Court, in Red Lion Broadcasting Co. v. FCC, upheld the FCC’s general right to enforce the fairness doctrine where channels were limited. However, the Court did not rule that the FCC was obliged to do so.
The courts reasoned that the scarcity of the broadcast spectrum, which limited the opportunity for access to the airwaves, created a need for the doctrine. The fairness doctrine is not the same as the equal-time rule. The fairness doctrine deals with discussion of controversial issues, while the equal-time rule deals only with political candidates.”
In its purest distillation, what the demise of this rule has spawned, is the proliferation of as yet unchecked news organizations and networks who unlike their established predecessors, now freely graft a specifically crafted narrative to their presentation of newsworthy events, exempt from the fear of consequence since they would no longer be required to offer an equal alternative to the POV they were promoting. These corrupted clockworks of disinformation, run by a cabal who present themselves much in the manner of a freelance illicit pharmaceutical rep lurking in the shadows at the edge of a Walmart’s’ parking lot, inflict a far more insidious social poison, that being a dense miasma of falsehoods branded and marketed as neutral commentary to a populace that is far too mawkish in regards to what was Journalism’s once unquestionable virtue of fearlessly speaking truth to power.
However, unlike the news coverage of the past, the multiple reporting media platforms ranging from long-established alt-right networks such as Fox and Breitbart, to feckless websites such as InfoWars, a digital sewer lorded over by unhinged demagogue conspiracy-theorist Alex Jones, exist solely to be no more than a complicit softball-dispensing propaganda arm for whatever political movement they find themselves ideologically in alignment with.
At best, these ethically compromised media outlets can be disturbingly effective at the propagation of fraudulent and damaging advocational positions, due to their entrenchment within the sphere of media that they alone control. And at worst? Well… look at not only who they willingly helped achieve access to the formerly most respected office in the world, but note how they are currently assisting in the white-washing by he and his sycophants that concerns his impotence at governing competently. When I see who’s sort of running the free world these days, it almost makes me feel as if I’ve been in a hospital coma ward for the last 20 years, and somehow managed to finagle a three-day-pass from my psychologist and let loose into the world unawares.
Speaking as a person who rightfully considers himself a political junkie, even I’m starting to feel like I wound up speed-balling a kilo of uncut smack directly into my heart in relation to all that has occurred since January of 2016, and which horrifyingly, just keeps getting exponentially worse with each passing day. Formerly known to be immoral character lapses such as corruption, influence peddling, nepotism, deceit, blatant racism, misogyny, fraud, homophobia, xenophobia, and rape culture have been oddly normalized, if not rewarded outright, and most stunningly of all, a bold-faced repudiation of core American values willfully embraced by a demographic who claims to bleed red, white, and blue.
Well, they definitely bleed white, anyway.
When tallied up, these abominable flaws of a maggot-ridden character that exist are, and always should remain as so, a stain on the floors of what was once a hallowed and revered calling, and if the concept of schadenfreude ever becomes a physical presence, I can only hope it lands on the metaphorical throats of these capricious charlatans of journalistic integrity with spiked boots that are also concurrently on fire. What can I say? I like a good visual to go along with my dispense of deserved justice. But even given the ongoing failure of today’s journalism to stand as a united front against the Fanta Fascist currently endangering America and its denizens, there exists an even more ignorant subculture, whom still support this dangerously narcissistic nitwit and the media that promotes and shields him, despite being in his crosshairs, and inadvertently or not, they are equally as bad as the mango Mussolini himself.
And even after we rid ourselves of this failed social media experiment, they will remain interwoven within our society, defiant, angry, and motivated to their delusional creed. I am of course talking about the people who identify with one of the most odious political movements of our time, that being the paranoiac monstrosity known as QAnon,
For those of you lucky enough to be unaware of what this gathering of mental midgets is and what it represents, I can only say that I envy you, and wish that I was still blessed with that void of tranquility within my acquired knowledge. But sadly, I feel I must now take the time to make you aware, because that’s what I do, and I truly cannot apologize enough for having to do so. However, if I didn’t, I’d feel like that I left a good deal of you intellectually unarmed, and there’s no way I’m allowing this on my conscience, after that whole “Hey, let’s watch Highlander 2, The Renegade Cut” vegan pizza party fiasco I foisted upon some formerly close friends a few months back.
So, who are these dogmatic curs of discourse, and why should you care? At its inane [if not completely insane] core, QAnon is a wrapped-in-tin-foil conspiracy theory detailing an alleged secret subversion by the “deep state” against U.S. President Donald Trump and his base of loyal followers, The fantastical theory originated in October of 2017 after a person (or persons) utilizing the moniker of “Q” posted on the 4chan website, claiming to have intimate access to classified information concerning the Trump administration and its adversaries.
This vile gathering of slithering agitation has routinely slandered numerous high-profile individuals, ranging from beloved actor Tom Hanks, along with various politicians, and government officials, who Q claims that along with many others who self-identify as politically liberal, are directly involved and complicit in the act of engaging in an international child sex trafficking ring. And no… I’m not kidding. You have no idea how much I wish I was.
They also maintain that Donald Trump feigned collusion with Russians in order to enlist the aid of Robert Mueller (?) to expose this alleged sex ring, while helping to prevent a coup d’état overseen by former president Barack Obama and ex-secretary of state Hillary Clinton, along with noted philanthropist George Soros, whose personal check for my clandestine services, I’m still waiting on.
“Q” allegedly takes its name from the Q clearance used by the Department of Energy. The deluded disciples of this inanity are also known for posting the hashtag of #WWG1WGA on their various social media pages, signifying the movements motto of “where we go one, we go all”, which I have always assumed meant that when one of these mentally-larded simpletons has a hankering for a plate of chicken-fried steak from their local Waffle House, all of them get loaded up in their Mom’s minivan, and go together in order to secure the early-bird discount.
However, the core belief that these nattering Nancy Drew nutters have latched onto much in the same manner that Madonna holds onto her diminishing cultural relevance, is that there exists an organization of pedophiliac Satan-worshippers, [similar to the Illuminati] which rules the known world. Allegedly, “they” control politicians, they control the Media, and naturally of course, they control Hollywood, Their existence would have remained a closely-guarded secret, unbeknownst to most, if not for the election of Donald Trump- you know, the supposed billionaire with a long history of alleged sexual assaults, who’s cheated on all three of his wives, and is also known for making highly inappropriate sexually tinged remarks about his own daughter, and has been linked to no less than five prominent alleged pedophiles, that being Jeffery Epstein, John Casablancas, Tevfik Arif, George Nader, and Ray Cohn?
Yep… this checks out.
I once noted that it was amazing how every woman I knew had at best, no less than three stories of someone attempting to sexually assault them, but yet, no male friend of mine has ever known a sexual predator. Weird, that. But even given this disconnect from reality, who the hell have you ever known who has been intimate friends with five pedophiles, and if they were, would you think they’d be the logical go-to to stop a child sex-trafficking ring?
Pushing this lunacy under the CBN-esque movie names The Storm and The Great Awakening, this half-baked conspiracy theory and case of full-on cerebral degradation has been branded by most mainstream journalists as unfounded, deranged, and lacking any traces of evidence or rational thought. This of course, does not apply to the fine folks at FOX, who’ve more than once, lauded promoters of QAnon theories on-air, exposing the network’s already brainwashed viewers to yet another level of incognizance. In a Fox & Friends segment aired in March of 2019, regarding Donald Trump’s toothless executive order concerning free speech on college campuses, Fox “reporter” Carley Shimkus read a tweet from @QAnon76, a noteworthy QAnon Twitter account that currently, has more than 160,000 followers. Shimkus cited @QAnon76 as one of the Twitter users praising Trump’s action, reading the tweet on-air as Fox displayed the Twitter handle on-screen: “Do not for one second, underestimate the significance of this EO,” the tweet read. “Thank you POTUS for reestablishing and preserving FREE SPEECH rights for ALL students.”
An ironically hypocritical statement, when one takes into account that Trump recently threatened TV stations with the full revocation of their FCC-issued broadcasting licenses if they didn’t immediately cease and desist airing a political ad that fittingly criticized him using his own statements for his totally inept bungling of the horrific coronavirus pandemic currently threatening the United States economy, its labor force, and most critically, its citizenry. Not that our swaggering wannabe banana republic tin-plated dictator with delusions of godhood really cares, of course.
Trump has repeatedly re-tweeted posts from Q Anon followers, some of whom have later been banned from Twitter for breach of the platform’s guidelines, solely on the basis of the compliments for him contained within, if nothing else. He, and his complicit GOP lackeys, are far more concerned about their stock portfolios and tenuous grasp on power, than they are regarding the responsibility to uphold their sworn oath of protecting their constituents from harm.
And if I were to go one step further, they also don’t seem too concerned about reigning in the abuse of power regarding the distribution of aid that their moronic man-child is currently inflicting upon the Democratic-run states whom he feels haven’t kissed his ass enough. The nerve of these commoners… don’t they know he’s doing an amazing job that he self-rated at 10/10? After all, when it comes to the Coronavirus, his past statements should reassure us all, that not only do we have a truly stable genius in charge of the pandemic response, he also has the most accurate information off of FOX concerning it as well, so chillax, kids.
At the time of this writing, his range of statements have gone from the bald-faced lie of “We have it totally under control”, to “I take no responsibility” followed up with the truly tone-deaf tweeted narcissism of: “Because the ‘Ratings’ of my News Conferences etc. are so high, ‘Bachelor finale, Monday Night Football type numbers’ according to the @nytimes, the Lamestream Media is going CRAZY Trump is reaching too many people, we must stop him.’ said one lunatic. See you at 5:00 P.M.!”
Yep… he’s got both of those freakishly small hands around the throat of the pandemic situation, hasn’t he? Almost a death grip, if I may be so bold. Sure, he’s killing us at the same time, but as we all know, some people gotta die so the Jeff Bezos’s of the world can continue to exploit the working class. After all, you can’t wage class warfare without a sub-class beneath you, now can you?
Of course not.
Make no mistake here- he isn’t holding these calculated “briefings” to inform or calm the general public, he’s only holding them because without one of his political Viagra girth-granting rallies, he’s having to directly face just how out of his depth he truly is in regards to filling his elected readership role, and if there is any consistent factor in the fourteen-carat gilded fantasy world of America’s most embarrassingly inept president in its history, it would definitely be his pathological and highly disturbed inability to ever accept blame for anything he’s ever done. The fake bone-spurs that “kept him” out of Vietnam, even though while on the campaign trail, he couldn’t recall which foot [both] they were supposedly in?
Must have been the Doctors fault. His engaging in racial discrimination back in the 70’s? Hey, those people were Black, so it’s their fault, not his. Cheating on all of his wives? Well, he can’t really help it if he’s so goddamn handsome, now can he? His alleged penchant for sexually assaulting women? C’mon- when you’re famous, they just let you do it. Refusing to apologize for the newspaper ad he took out calling for the deaths of five wrongly convicted African Americans who were later cleared by DNA testing? Science is just a Democratic hoax, based in political correctness. Refusing to read intelligence briefs? He already has the best brain, the best words, the best hunches, and his uncle was a genius who taught at MIT- ironically, a school whose name he can’t spell, so why would he need to?
And when it comes to the Coronavirus, AKA; Covid-19, sorry… that should have been noted as the “Chinese Flu”, since “The Plague of the Coughing Ching-Chong Chink” won’t roll off his Adderall addicted tongue as easily as the latter, since he now claims that despite his previous statements, he always believed that: “This is a pandemic. I felt it was a pandemic long before it was called a pandemic, All you had to do was look at other countries.” You know, the countries that he’s always insulting, but yet praises when they feign to tell him he’s pretty?
Never mind that he spent close to a month golfing and lying to the country he doesn’t give a damn about, as he kept issuing false platitudes that it was not something we ever needed to be concerned about. The reason for this deliberate dereliction of duty? Money. Plain and simple. As always. The GOP brand has, for quite some time now, stood for GreedOverPeople, and the latest power and cash grabs barely disguised as necessary legislation and judicial appointments reinforces my cynicism almost daily, if not hourly. Another interesting thing or two to unpack here, if I were to note his fecund arc of narcissism yet again, it’s the fact that the quote he so willingly retweeted was from an article criticizing his ham-fisted management of the ongoing pandemic, and that’s the lone point he took away from it.
But what’s even stranger than that, is who he willingly retweeted it from, that being the official New York Times Twitter account, which represents a corner of journalism that he supposedly doesn’t pay any attention to, but yet still obsessively insults, by saying that they are “failing”, “an enemy of the people”, that they represent a “dishonest press”, and who most likely inspired his need to tell Russia’s megalomaniacal dictator and personal man-crush, Vladimir Putin that he wanted to; ”Get rid of them. Fake news is a great term, isn’t it? You don’t have this problem in Russia, but we do,”
This threadbare red-meat dog whistle, while not true on any level, would be apt as a descriptive where Herr Drumpf is concerned, as he’s ironically, the first fake president this country has ever had to endure. However, I guess all past sins are forgiven when you erroneously ascribe the wrong narrative to what is essentially a damning insult from a still current detractor, not that our Fanta fascist knows how to differentiate between the two. Outwardly, I still maintain that what Trump would probably have loved to say if he and his puppet-master, could ever manage to book a weekend tryst at the *Pozharsky Royal Suite within the Four Seasons Hotel in Moscow, would be somewhere along the line of: “Gee, I wish I could murder journalists who dare question me, like you do with impunity.”
*[Currently renting at $19,170.00, or 1,238,000.00 Rubles in the local economy, and sited on the seventh floor, this luxury apartment style accommodation worthy of royalty boasts three king-size bedrooms, a spacious living room, a dining room for 10, and a secluded terrace with Manezhnaya Square, Alexandrovsky Garden, and the Kremlin within its incorporated view. It has a private sauna for those late-night election-interfering planning meetings, along with a guest bathroom. The hotel itself is new, but it was inspired by the design of the site’s former occupant, the Hotel Moscow, constructed between 1932 and 1935. There is some background lore regarding just how the hotels distinctive irregular façade came to be, The story goes that the contractors showed the at that time Russian tyrant Joseph Stalin, a lone architectural plan of the soon to be erected building that had two versions of the façade, and when Stalin signed off on it without noting any specific directives as to which design was approved, the builders being too afraid to ask or decide on their own, united both ideas into one. Russian madmen… the more they change, the more they have the same effect.]
And if you think I’m off base here, consider this- in March 2019, Putin signed a “Fake News bill” into law, whose inherent vague language criminalizes any journalist who “insults” the state or government online. Essentially, it enacts focused retribution on any who may directly or inadvertently, display alleged “blatant disrespect for society, government, official government symbols, the constitution, or the governmental bodies of Russia.” A much more disturbing statistic is that no less than 21 journalists have been murdered in Russia since Putin came to power in 2000, and that Russia has recently been ranked number 149 out of 180 countries as noted by the World Press Freedom Index, an annual rating from the organization Reporters Without Borders.
Speaking as a visual artist, I would love to travel to Russia someday. Speaking as someone of German descent, it’d be nice to visit the place the Fatherland might have owned if not for the fact we showed up in winter with the completely wrong wardrobe en masse. But as a writer, I’d also make sure that everything I’d eat and drink during my stay there would have come over on the plane with me, as it seems that a lot of Russian cafes have a worrying issue with Pollinium-210 coming with the meal as an unexpected side-dish.
To be fair, derisive attacks targeting the Free Press from those in authority is not even close to being a relatively new concept, but like most things associated with this corruptly abominable administration, a new bar has been lowered into place, and our president and his sycophantic enablers limbo under it easily, as if they were flattened cockroaches. It’s interesting to note however, that the press wasn’t designated with the slur of “fake news” until the installation of a fake president, but I digress.
Like most demagogues, Trump is not a fan of critical scrutiny, and as such, does whatever he can to cast disrepute upon those who accurately lambast him for his personal inadequacies which range from an overblown and unfounded Ego, to allegedly being sadly equipped with wedding tackle that can’t get past the molars of a Russian hooker, no matter how much he leans in, which when given pause, might explain why he always overreacts to any form of criticism, minor or major. Project much, my small-handed, small-brained, petite mushroom king?
Understand one thing within the context of what I’m saying here- in order for him to protect the veneer of his fragile as wet-tissue-paper skin, he needs to bully, deflect, lie, and brag his way away from his rapidly expanding list of personal failure, whether it’s as a husband, a father, a businessman, a president, or as a human. Self-reflection is not his bag. Self-absorption is. And he wallows in it as if he were taking a bath in Champagne.
Or to be more accurate in regards to his current stance, the blood of the infected American citizenry that’s dying on his watch, his own supporters included. I have never before seen in my lifetime or in my own country at least, a publicly supported sociopath, and if Odin is prepared, never will again, once they place this *egoistisch verräter either in a rat-infested prison, or as an unwilling counterweight swinging on the end of a knotted rope, much in the manner of Mussolini. Who by the way, still holds the honor of the best Pinata cosplay I’ve ever seen a photo of, hands down. I’m good with both, to be quite honest, and at this point, it’s long overdue.
*[“Selfish traitor” in German]
Despite playing the victim card more often than a GOP senator caught yet again having consensual gay sex in a public bathroom with an underaged rough trick, Trump still managed to self-own his own facetiousness in an interview with the “failing” New York Times (weird, because they’re “failing”) that was published in February of 2019, and contained the following admission: “I do notice that people are declaring more and more fake news… I even see it in other countries. I don’t necessarily attribute that to me. I think I can attribute the term to me. I think I was the one that started using it.” When we run his stereotypical I’m not to blame for anything I’ve done or said deflection through a Trumpspeak to English translator, it processes as: “I didn’t concoct the conspiracy theory that all the negative news about me is fake, I simply coined the term to describe it.”
Oh, yeah… once again, that makes sense to take credit for a term for something that you didn’t invent or know about, yet seemingly were the only one espousing at the time, then and now. Odd that a conman who takes the thunder for things he had no hand in, wouldn’t want the recognition for inventing the most successful political catchphrase of the last few years, huh?
Other things he’s taken the credit for that have no basis in actual reality include: creating the phrase: “Priming the pump”, claiming Lady Gaga only became a star because of him, increasing internet speed: “I have made the internet faster than any other president. We’re at 5G right now, going to 6G and probably 7. Obama barely got to 4G.”, the act of popularizing campaign rallies, firing CEOs from his executive council who had actually quit first, restoring the widespread use of “Merry Christmas” back to the American people, not starting a new Civil War: “Since I have been president, we have had nothing like the Civil War, or any other war between states, which happened a lot in our history. A lot. I really love the South and had I been their president, they would have won. Believe me.”, Ford’s investment in creating jobs for Michigan and Kentucky, the sales of McDonald’s cheeseburgers doubling, the dimensions of oranges in Florida: “Florida’s oranges are like super big this year. Imagine if Crooked Hil had won?”, the popularity of the English language around the world: “More people in other countries speak English than we have here who speak their languages. America is great again and much of the world knows it – that’s why so many people can’t wait to speak our language and stop using theirs, which is really tough to speak and write, anyway.”,
In regards to American public safety: “We have more people now in American jails than any country, even the really bad countries, like some really terrible ones. It proves that my focus on law and order is working when before they would be on work-release programs and God knows where. Americans haven’t been this safe since Eisenhower, a Republican, and we’re probably safer than that.”, military funding and it’s new technology: “We spend more on military than most nations combined now because of me, but we do it smartly. We put money into planes, really good planes and bombers, for instance that can shoot people from many, many miles away. We never had that before.” increasing a sense of Patriotism: “A lot of people tell me that more people are saying the pledge and singing OUR anthem than ever before. When Obama was president, there was kneeling- not just the guys you know about it. Many, many more. They’re not now.” and my personal favorite slice of lunacy, this hypocritical tidbit, which could only be the result of a three-day Adderall and Quarter-pounder binge: “According to the CDC fewer girls and women are getting abortions because they are hearing my message of abstinence and loving one man or woman and what I say about the bible.”
Spreading the Word, just like Jesus… it’s truly amazing. Or maybe not, when you consider he has repeatedly stated that the Bible is his “favorite” book, coming first of course, just before his second most favorite book, his ghostwritten tome, The Art of the Deal where he spends the majority of it bragging about his business acumen, which as we’ve all seen and experienced, is as solidly set in concrete that has the tensile strength of microwaved Velveeta, but I digress.
However, during the course of a sit-down interview with Bloomberg Politics back in August of 2019, he was casually asked as to what his favorite book contained within its pages was, and this charlatan who has broken literally all Ten Commandments- nine of them repeatedly, prattled out the following response: “I wouldn’t want to get into that because to me that’s very personal … The Bible means a lot to me, but I don’t want to get into specifics.” When pressed to recite a favorite verse, the deer-in-the headlights look on his face as he feebly spat out; “No, I don’t want to do that.”, was the purest hypocritical comedy gold one could ever hope for. But it only got better…throwing out one last merciful Hail Mary softball question that my eight-year old Grandniece could have answered right as she woke up from a cheese-stick bender nap, our resident Liar in Chief was gently handed the query of whether he liked the Old Testament or the New Testament more.
For those of you who aren’t religious, you tend to pick the Old when you’re a devotee of God’s wrath and divinity, think of it as a “tough on crime” stance, and the New when you possess more of a laid back “Jesus is my Homeboy” approach to spirituality. If I were to put this opinion into the form of a classical musical analogy, the soundtrack to the Old would be Russian composer Modest Mussorgsky’s Night on Bald Mountain, versus Ludwig van Beethoven’s Symphony No. 6 for the New.
Either way as a politician, it’s an easy win-win, and only a total muttonhead could have screwed this known factoid up.
Fortunately for learned Atheists and late-night TV comedians, the tangerine-tinted Muppet masquerading as our president, managed to do just that. His intellectual gambit to convince all in earshot and those watching on TV of his rock-solid Faith? He said, and I happily quote: “Probably equal. I think it’s just an incredible… the whole Bible. I think it’s just incredible. The whole Bible is incredible.” His cleverness made flesh, he followed up that highly plausible opinion with the following: “I joke, very much so, they always hold up the Art of the Deal, I always say, ‘My second favorite book of all time.”
Yep, if there’s one thing Adolf Twittler is known for, on top of his honesty, his marital fidelity, his bravery, his love of minorities, his humbleness, his piety, his eloquence, his civility, and his stunning personal charm, it’s most definitely his sense of humor. And let’s give credit where credit is due, his weaponizing of the Evangelical movement in this country is nothing short of awe-inspiring, even if he did inadvertently admit to a room full of the most prominent religious leaders in this country that he actually doesn’t know dick about his “favorite” book after all.
Speaking to them, he referenced Robert Jeffress, an Evangelical pastor and contributing liar on FOX who has stated that Trump is a “Christian warrior”, and has also declared that any attempt to remove him from office would result in the creation of a “Civil War-like fracture” within the United States. Ironically, he’s gleefully opined that Jews were “going to Hell”, while also claiming that he’s prayed to “bless those who bless Israel and curse those who curse Israel”. I’ve just got to ask the obvious question here, so bear with me if you would- why would you damn Jews, but yet wish for blessings upon where they live?
Is he trying to protect some sort of future celestial real estate angle that involves the West Bank, assuming that all the Jews will leave prime beach behind once they’ve been forcibly relocated to Satan’s sauna? And why was Jeffress even mentioned, you ask? Once again, I quote our incognizant doyen of dumbassery: “I didn’t know him, but I watched him, and I’d watch him on different shows. I said,’ I like that guy. Man, he talks really great about me, and I like people that talk well about me.’ He was saying, ‘He may not be the greatest Christian I’ve ever seen, he may not know the Bible quite as well as the rest of us, in fact he may not know it very well at all, but that guy’s a real leader.”
Yep… our Bible-loving apostolic advocate for abstinence and faithfulness, openly admitted to a room full of our nations alleged spiritual shepherds that not only is he not assumed to be the “best Christian”, he’s also clueless as to what his favorite supposed book represents as well. Hilariously, he threw all of this into the public blender not due to any desire to unburden his conscience for being a fraud, but because he just had to brag that someone he deems as important (because they say nice things about him) was giving him unsolicited praise to begin with.
I’ve often said that I have always regarded God as no more than a petty sociopath, owing to his/her/it’s incessant thirst for unbridled worship, but now I’m thinking I should offer up a sincere apology of sorts for this assessment, because God has no corner on the market of Ego where this man-child is concerned. He may be the only person in history who can peruse reams of savage criticism regarding his idiocy, walk past incensed crowds calling for his ferret-topped head, and watch an analysis of his failures on the news, and have the effect of such pass through his warped intellect as it were corn running through a two year old.
And this isn’t the first instance of his full disconnection from the reality of how he’s actually perceived by the populace he routinely fails to serve, as I noted above in regards to the NYT article. Trump recently tweeted a picture of himself playing the violin in the manner of Nero, along with a caption that read: “Who knows what this means, but it sounds good to me.”
Amusingly Trump, due to the fact he has no grasp on history, literature, irony, or self-awareness, had and most certainly by accident, promoted a book titled The American Nero, a critical tome written by Richard Painter, a former George W. Bush appointee who also happens to be a staunch critic of our dumpster fire president.
The meme itself emanated from the Twitter account of one of Trumps’ assistants, whose name is Dan Scavino, and who happens to be one of his former golf caddies, spending his professional hours web-surfing, seeking out any positive mention of Trump, and it’s been alleged his Twitter feed is a virtual blueprint for what information is fed to the Fool who calls himself King. Now when it comes to the art of self-congratulating himself, nobody does it better than this self-tanned piece of human pudding skin who when he looks into a mirror or any reflective surface, sees not only an attractive, successful, ethically erudite, dynamic leader staring back at him, but who also truly believes everyone else sees it too.
Nothing could be further from the Truth, but in Trump’s distorted worldview, reality will always take a backseat to the desires of his Ego, as it’s not the narrative of the factual that matters, but what he can convince his base of cultists is occurring, if only to offset the approaching consequences he may have to face from the ineptness of his impulsivity.
Speaking of which, there was this insightful exchange from a February 2019 interview in which Trump granted an audience with the “failing” New York Times, and its publisher A.G. Sulzberger. Trump, showcasing his particularly vehement commitment to a fusion of self-victimization and largesse, opined that: “I ran, I won, and I’m really doing a good job… I came from Jamaica, Queens, Jamaica Estates, and I became president of the United States… I’m sort of entitled to a great story- just one- from my [local] newspaper.”
Trump stated that even though he was acutely aware that focused scrutiny came with the job, he immediately contradicted himself by noting that: “I get it really bad. I mean, let’s face it, this is at a level that nobody’s ever had before”, thereby setting in bedrock a customary refrain we’ve all become far too accustomed with as his ongoing doomed-to-failure presidency fashions itself out of sheer flop sweat and hubris. In his opinion, no matter what events have transpired, be they real or as is his penchant, fabricated out of desperation, he is always either the sad victim of fate, never the cause of it, or the grand conqueror, whose legendary and of course, never before seen victory was certainly most assuredly self-propagated. To be quite honest, I’m genuinely surprised that he doesn’t send out a press release every time he has a bowel movement, since after all, he always does when he hires one.
And no matter if it’s justified or not, his voracious void of Ego demands ones willing and unquestionable capitulation to it, hence his comment of “I’m sort of entitled to a great story”. Staying true to his brand of toxicity, he went on to lovingly say that his sycophantic propaganda lapdog Fox News “treats me very well,” added in that NYC’s local television was “so great to me”, but just had to vent that that the New York Times, who if you remember- was currently interviewing him at the time, treated him “so unbelievably terribly.”
As I noted, Trump demands loyalty to him as an expected given, but no personal allegiance will ever be returned by him, regardless of the cause, the person, or the organization involved. I for one, am shocked, shocked I tell you, that he and the Free Press have such a sadly complicated relationship and all, especially when he’s so inclined to not only insult them to their faces, but to act as if by doing so, he’s presenting them with some form of a soon to be appreciated charitable compliment. The naked manipulation of situations and persons has always been his stock in trade, and while he may present as proof that evolution can go in reverse, he does have a unique ability to échappé around his own internal chaos as if he were a Adderall-addicted descendent of Rudolf Khametovich Nureyev.
Minus the grace, the charm, the badass middle name, the aesthetic beauty, and the rigid discipline of self-control, of course.
Why all of this matters, is because at no point in my entire life have I ever experienced this kind of insanity in American politics, past the usual sex/greed/money/drug hypocrisy-laden scandals that politicians like to bathe in. but here, we have one of the worst examples of Humanity, and for some as yet unknown reason, not only has it been given the pass keys to Disneyland, it somehow managed to score a free lifetime VIP pass to Splash Mountain as well. There are several subtle shades regarding the employment of a Fox to guard the henhouse, but when the sole condition of its working there is to complicity cover up your trail of incompetently murdered chickens, you’re almost bound to have several disturbing lapses of professional ethics, by the by.
The Free Press was never intended nor has it ever been implied, that it was to serve and be in league with any organization, governmental branch or legislative individual, nor was it ever stated that its access to the powerful was wholly dependent based its reporting on the same. In order to be a truly independent entity, it must strive to maintain a zero-tolerance policy on it becoming no more than a weaponized vehicle for agendas or policies outside of its charted purpose.
The Irish statesman and philosopher Edmund Burke once noted that: “The only thing necessary for the triumph of evil is for good men to do nothing”, and boy, is that ever so chillingly applicable in today’s political climate, where those who took an oath to protect the laypeople of this country have willingly shelved it for either a taste of highly diluted power, or even more pathetically- because they fear a run of tweeted harangues from a petulant man-child who if he occupied any other position in the land, would find himself in a dark alley fully tuned up into a state of bruised unconsciousness, and most likely sans a few formerly set in place teeth.
And this keenness to be wholly subservient, like the cancer it is, has swiftly brought far too many media outlets to heel under the slimy wingtips of a corpulent dictator in process. Whether it’s fear of losing access to the oval office, a valid concern about being singled out via his social media, or facing the loss of their career, todays Press Corps/hostages is forced to walk that fine line between doing their job ethically, and soothing the Tangerine Toddlers snowflake sensibilities. However, even when one possesses a solid track record of being a staunch loyalist in the past, this does not on any level, afford protection to said career, or guarantee of continuing access to his staged ersatz rallies disguised as press conferences.
Even his contingent booty call Fox News, has at times, inadvertently committed the truly unpardonable transgression of asking questions considered to be far too unpalatable for the Fanta Fascists ego and limited intellect, and have as a consequence, found themselves marked as a contemptuous target by either he or his mindless base of slack-jawed sycophantic admirers.
This by the way, is not a sign of his impulsivity, only the incoherent word salad he presents as leadership is. This wholly Machiavellian capping of journalisms metaphorical canines is key to his focused endeavor in transforming our democracy into the world’s largest banana republic with him firmly set in the center of its power. Think I’m being paranoid? Well, that is a fair judgement- after all, despite what many historians and other intellectuals of note have declared openly more than should be required, he really isn’t Hitler in the end. He’s just been cribbing Adolf’s study notes and adding a contemporary twist to them, as most arrogant second-handers tend to do.
Today’s immigrants are the Juden of old in his view, those who dare oppose or question his narcissism laden leadership are “Enemies of the State”, he’s hiring a cabal to occupy all levels of governmental authority with faithful partisans, and there is no adversary he fears more than the concept of a truly free and independent press that he cannot possibly begin to charm, manipulate, bully, or control outright. Sadly, he’s not alone regarding his strong dislike of the Free Press, as a 2018 *Ipsos poll discovered that a multitude of self-identified Republicans accept as Gospel that Trump should possess the sole authority to shutter specific news outlets, despite the Freedom of the Press guaranteed within the Constitution they all deceitfully claim to adore.
For those of us who write some form of political or social commentary, these results are hardly shocking , but they do present as a chilling threat to the sanctity if not the future safety of the fourth estate, as those polled willingly showed a definitive bias against the mainstream media and it’s representatives, along with a desire to see castigatory actions against those whose opinions they find objectionable, This increasingly aggressive dog-whistle that Trump keeps tweeting at his cult of personality, lately known as the Branch Covidians, has led to a disturbingly unhinged poi nt of view among them that they, like Trump, see responsible journalism as the sole cause of Trumps’ numerous failures as president.
As the poll discovered, no less than 43 percent of Republicans so-called, held the opinion that “the president should have the authority to close news outlets engaged in bad behavior.” When asked which media outlets Trump should board up specifically, their picks [insert sarcasm here] amazingly matched Trumps own list of what he has slurred as “Enemies of the People”, that being The “failing” New York Times “fake news” CNN, and of course, The Washington Post who despite Trumps derisive attacks, and hilariously on purpose misidentification of the Pulitzer Prize for journalism as the “Noble” Prize, still boasts 47 of them on its fireplace mantel.
Moving forward in the mental mire that the GOP faithful wallow in as if it were silk, 48 percent alleged that “the news media is the enemy of the American people”, and four out of every five, a ratio of 79 percent, put forth the oft-repeated and asinine assertion given Trumps’ own actions and statements, that “the mainstream media treats President Trump unfairly.”
Threats, gaslighting, and the shrewdly targeted dissemination of fictions is how he and his ilk have battled the media thus far, and that is straight out of the ol’ pages of the Mama Hitler cookbook, an otherwise inedible tome who’s marketing success relies solely on divisive fear as its main selling point. He who controls the flow, controls the Universe, regardless of whether that’s information or *Arrakis Spice.
*[“Spice”, is the name of a drug mined on the imaginary desert world of Arrakis, and which serves as a crucial plot point within the science fiction novels written by Frank Herbert, collectively known as the Dune series. As the narrative unfolds, the most valued commodity in the known universe is “the Spice” (AKA: mélange) which gives its users an extended life span, superior vivacity, and a sense of sharpened awareness. In some humans, it can lead to the gift of clairvoyance, depending upon the measure and the user’s physiology.]
Speaking of fear, one facet that often gets overlooked due to the amount of idiocy that this tangerine trash fire produces with the consistency of the Sharknado and Tremors franchises, is the sheer terror Trump increasingly fails to hold in check regarding being both called out for his trail of incompetence, and for the consequences resulting from being held accountable for the same, On one hand, it’s chilling to watch this unhinged faux “world leader” who possesses the nuclear launch codes, have yet another one of his trademark meltdowns, and on the other… I so want to see one of those poor reporters stand up and ask: “Donnie, do you need a Capri Sun, a cheese stick and a nap? Because you’re being all kinds of a pussy crankypants.”
This externalized dread of his has been baring its teeth more frequently as of late, due to certain reporters who refuse to get in goosestep with their fellow colleagues, who as I noted earlier, tend to show more belly than Gwen Stefani did in the 90’s. And the best part? The majority of these journalists who dare rise to challenge America’s Angriest Creamsicle just so happen to be women, one of his most frequently targeted demographics for assault, both physical and verbal. If Karma truly exists, it’s a certain guarantee that she’s not only female, she’s also laughing her ass off in relation to this fact.
For all of his bluster, smart women scare the ever-loving bejesus out of him, and it’s hilarious to watch his attempts to maintain his imaginary Alpha status as one serves him his tiny testes raw on a plate. In a recent press conference/rally, our Liar-in Chief wheezed out the following falsehood: “When somebody’s President of the United States, the authority is total, and that’s the way it’s gotta be. Total. It’s total…” The President of the United States has the authority to do what the President of the United States has the authority to do, which is very powerful. The President of the United States calls the shots.”
Why is this false? Well in a nutshell, it’s because of the annoying to Trump, but valid to Democracy, detail that no president in the entire history of this country has ever possessed any measure of “total” authority, as we not only have three separate, yet equally powerful branches of government, but the democratically elected position of our president is in no way stated or implied to be either a Sovereignty or in Trumps addled and hopeful fever dreams, a repressive dictatorship. The governors, mayors and educational district officials who have imposed the critical social limitations of the citizenry under their purview, as well as the temporary shuttering of the public-school system and what are considered to be non-essential businesses, are the only ones who can decide when to revoke those restrictions.
There is NO legislation in our Constitution that openly gives the President any form of authority to supersede any states’ decisions concerning public health. Keep this in mind, however- on the 13th of March 2020, he famously declared: “No, I don’t take responsibility at all,” adding; “We were given a set of circumstances…it wasn’t meant for this kind of an event with the kind of numbers that we’re talking about.”
But now, he “has” the authority, an asinine position he almost immediately contradicted less than a day later when he said: ‘I will be speaking to all 50 governors very shortly. And I will then be authorizing each individual governor of each individual state to implement a reopening, very powerful reopening plan of their estate in a time in a manner which is most appropriate, The governors will be very, very respectful of the presidency,’ he then noted; ‘This isn’t me. This is the presidency. The presidency has such a great importance in terms of what we are doing. You can talk about constitution. You can talk about federalism. You can talk about whatever you want.
But the best way, I am talking now from a managerial standpoint, to let individual governors run individual states and come to us if they have difficulty and we will help them. The governors are responsible, they have to take charge and do a great job,‘
This abrupt turnaround just goes to prove that given enough pushback under the guise of a united front, Trumps’ tin-plated bravado will fall apart faster than a flan in a cupboard. At the time of this screeds posting, more than THIRTY THOUSAND Americans have died from the Corona virus, and that number is certainly going to increase, regardless of his desperate attempts to deflect his direct complicity in the mangling of the federal response so called, to its initial stranglehold.
So far he has (or tried to) blame the Covod-19 pandemics initially unchecked spread on: the Obama Administration, the WHO, (the health organization, not the seminal British band from the 60’s, but let’s face it, the day is young) Democratic governors for fraudulently alleged mismanagement, federal inspectors general, China, and in an act of true personal cravenness, the doctors and nurses serving on the frontline. Even more disturbing, if not more certifiably insane, is his continuous call to not only re-open America against all medical advice, but encouraging his Redhatters to defy the necessary “shelter-in-place” orders that are being introduced in an attempt to reduce the pandemics’ current domination over both our economy and our safety.
In fact, here’s an image of that posted lunacy from a guy who once also just had to tweet:
“Actually, throughout my life, my two greatest assets have been mental stability and being, like, really smart. Crooked Hillary Clinton also played these cards very hard and, as everyone knows, went down in flames. I went from VERY successful businessman, to top T.V. Star……to President of the United States (on my first try). I think that would qualify as not smart, but genius….and a very stable genius at that!”
Uh-huh… the very same guy who had to let us all know he was a genius, as it was so obvious from his prior dazzling track record of bankruptcies, failed marriages, and germinating one of the biggest health and economic crises in American history, felt the need, nay the compulsion, to order his cult of constituents to literally gather in a mass and protest what should be common sense for the rest of us who’s brains actually work, by willingly disobeying the vital protocols set in place to protect society from their sheer ignorance and to an even sadder degree, save their useless lives.
That last part falls under charity of a sort, since the forfeiture of these moronic malcontents would only be a boon to this planet and the future DNA contribution to the human gene pool, of which, they have always resided within the shallow end. Keep this in mind, if you would, that the PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED STATES JUST PROMOTED, IF NOT OPENLY DEMANDED, AN INSURRECTION AGAINST THE LAWS OF THE COUNTRY HE INEPTLY REPRESENTS. How this doesn’t qualify as treason of the highest order, necessitating the immediate implementation of either Article Three of the Constitution or the 25th Amendment, is beyond my comprehension.
For those who are unfamiliar with this aspect of our constitution, Article Three of the United States Constitution establishes the judicial branch of the federal government. Under Article Three, the judicial branch consists of the Supreme Court of the United States, as well as lower courts created by Congress. It also authorizes the courts to handle legal disagreements arising under federal law, along with any other calculated areas. And most relevantly, it also defines Treason under the law. Requiring that at least two witnesses testify regarding the act of treason, or that the turncoat accused of treason willingly confesses in open court, It also limits the manner in which Congress can penalize those convicted of treason, a transgression for which I think Trump easily checks the boxes for, as it has been prescribed under the law.
The 25th Amendment on the other hand, is the most likely option for Trump’s removal other than a truly unhindered election, Proposed by Congress and ratified by the states in the wake of JFK’s assassination, the Amendment lays out the parameters for replacing both the president and vice president following an incident of event of death, resignation, or incapacitation, be it physical or mental, a condition which I could effortlessly argue applies almost exclusively to the failed mail-order meat salesman who presents himself to the world as if he were Benito Mussolini with a discount spray-tan. The year 1970 was the first test for this protocol to be enacted, when the Watergate scandal led to the removal of not only Richard Nixon being substituted with Gerald Ford as president, but Vice-president Spiro Agnew as well, who was exchanged for the previous four-term governor of New York, Nelson Rockefeller.
And I for one, feel that the circumstances for removal by this mandate, failing any subversive attempt by he or his enablers to interfere or suspend our legal political process, may be the surefire way to go to excise this walking analog for all that is f**ked up with our country and our long-held values. Now despite my cynicism, there has been a concerted effort of far-too-late by certain elements of the media to wrest control of the dialogue away from the tantrum tossing tinted toddler who calls himself our leader, and it’s literally what they should have been doing since the grotesque mockeries that he ironically refers to as a press briefing began. What is this brilliant, yet so goddamn obvious solution? Well, ABC, CBS, NBC, and CNN along with a lone NPR station in Seattle who made their decision back in March, have all decided to stop broadcasting these barely-disguised campaign rallies and ego fetes, proclaiming that they are not in the public interest.
Joe Barron, a representative for, and speaking on behalf of, the United Forces Of Broadcasting, said the following in regards to this long-overdue decision: “We at UFB have joined together because we put the lives of Americans over the self-interest of Donald J Trump. It is our belief that his agenda through these press briefings is nothing more than campaigning at the expense of the health of the nation. He doesn’t care about anything but the economy. People need to take priority now.
This man is not a leader. He is an imbecile. Worse than that, he thinks he’s genius! So, he’s giving medical advice that defies medical science and his idiot supporters are actually following it. He’s going to kill people. UFB struggled with this decision. At first, they thought they should push his ideas and let natural selection do its things. Trump’s base would soon disappear and the world would be a better place, but they reluctantly decided that would be wrong. Dammit.
Trump will never see airtime on our networks again.”
Ouch. For an overgrown narcissistic attention-whore like Trump, this expulsion from his most useful bully-pulpit, snidely delivered with an ice-cold helping of bitch-slap, is going to do to his ego what he’s done to the office of the President- face f**k it with a sandpaper condom wrapped around a double-headed-dildo molded from porn legend Ron Jeremys bread and batter, and all without the reward of a nice dinner and pillow talk afterwards.
There is no greater drug for Trump than access to unfettered attention and adoration, and no more painful personal withdrawal for him then when it’s denied outright. However, the rotting floor boards of his carnival pitchmans’ wagon started caving in a few weeks back, when CNN started fact-checking his press conference statements in real time almost as fast as he said them. So, how exactly did that work out for our very stable genius with the best brain and highest IQ of any President ever?
Damn… if he was a contestant on Celebrity Apprentice, he not only would have been fired by now, the producers would be calling up Gary Busey and apologizing profusely for implying he was the biggest loon in the room. It’s one thing to distort or lie, as even the most moral among us do it occasionally, that ranging from the white lie of: “No, those acid-washed jeans look great on you” to the far more insidious one of: “Oh yes, you should totally watch the Renegade Cut of Highlander 2”, but to lie about everything under the sun? Even Satan doesn’t run those kinds of numbers, and he happily cheats at Chutes and Ladders. Or so I’ve been told.
So, it’s a well-known fact that Trump is a liar of unprecedented proportion, which really comes as no surprise to anyone whose brain still works, but given his extensive catalog of falsehoods and the years spent compiling it, the most compelling question that might have to be asked in regards to his pathological deceitfulness is this… why is he so bad at it? Pop psychology author writer Malcolm Gladwell once put forth the theorem of the 10,000 Hour Rule, the underlying concept being that the crucial key to success regardless of the chosen field, is the implementation of practicing a specific task 20 hours a week for 10 years, in order to master it.
Many people, including myself have scoffed at this seemingly arbitrary rule pulled from the ether, but one facet of it does ring true- that the devoting of one’s time to a particular endeavor can at the very least, lead to a sense of competence, even if it qualifies as barely passing as marginal. If I were to be quite honest, I’d like to believe that if I had spent no less than 70 years lying about everything from my wealth to my dick size as I bragged about nailing models no one had ever seen me in public with, I’d come off smoother than oiled silk, and not as the human analog of a stucco bathtub.
I literally can’t think of anything more wretchedly funny than someone who looks to be the end result of an experiment gone awry where a group of scientists endeavored to cross-breed a sexually-frustrated sweet potato and an overly tanned velociraptor, but here we are, and somehow they got it to wear a suit and a dead ferret on its head in the end. This I feel, indicates that either we’re spending too much money in regards to funding science in this country, or not nearly enough, as I’m still waiting for that flying car and jet-pack I was promised as a kid.
There’s quite the puzzling dichotomy at work here concerning the accumulation of Trumps’ staggering and numerous lies- on one hand, they’re easily debunked if not mocked for their obvious slant towards transparent deflection, and on the other, his base swallows them without question, time and time again, no matter how unfounded or insane they tend to be.
Case in point, his comments regarding injecting disinfectant into one’s lungs, for which he later claimed he was “being sarcastic” (he wasn’t) and for which his dimwitted defenders stated that his remarks were “taken out of context” (they weren’t) an absurd point of view that is disproven easily, just by using his own words; “Thank you very much. So, I asked Bill a question that probably some of you are thinking of, if you’re totally into that world, which I find to be very interesting. So, supposing we hit the body with a tremendous- whether it’s ultraviolet or just very powerful light- and I think you said that that hasn’t been checked, but you’re going to test it.
And then I said, supposing you brought the light inside the body, which you can do either through the skin or in some other way, and I think you said you’re going to test that too. It sounds interesting. Right. And then I see the disinfectant, where it knocks it out in a minute. One minute. And is there a way we can do something like that, by injection inside or almost a cleaning. Because you see it gets in the lungs and it does a tremendous number on the lungs. So, it would be interesting to check that. So, that, you’re going to have to use medical doctors with. But it sounds- it sounds interesting to me.”
In all of my 51 years walking this big ball of granite and water, I cannot think of any other person who lies this much, and as noted earlier, so badly, save for *Joe Izuzu and my ex-fiancé. And weirdly, both used to lie about the same thing, that being cars. His lies were for the sole purpose of trying to sell them, and hers was trying to explain why she was always being caught in in the back seat of one having sex with someone who wasn’t me. *[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nJMq_7alQpU]
As I’ve remarked throughout this screed, the American press has continuously dropped the ball in how it’s handled his ongoing amalgamation of deceit and unchecked hubris, starting from the very beginning of his initial candidacy, and sadly, any attempts to close the barn doors now seems kind of pointless, as this brain-dead horse has not only been running wild for months now with their help, he’s also managed to trample Democracy into a possibly irreversible coma. So, while I am glad to see these networks and a few select media outlets finally take some responsible action, let’s not forget who gave him millions of dollars’ worth of free advertising exposure in the first place.
Sure, some of them may have joined the Fourth estate’s version of AA, but we all still remember who was both vitally crucial and totally responsible for helping him into the chair he never truly earned or deserved to occupy in the first place. So, media that is partially but still largely responsible for the leadership nightmare we’re currently in, how’d that desperate grab for ratings work out for both the country and your ongoing relationship with our petulantly mad king?
Yep, that was a brilliant stab at acquiring what turned out to be not important access, by sacrificing both your principles and metaphorical testes to the whims of a soiled diaper toddler with impulsivity issues never before seen outside of a fan-fiction bondage-themed novel. Nor can we as what used to be a democratic republic versus a third-rate mango-tinted one, ever thank you enough for your foresight in packaging this demagogue as a refreshingly caustic cultural singularity within the American political structure. To quote the ironically sarcastic Dr. Peter Venkman from Ghostbusters Two: “Tasty pick, bonehead.”
So this is where we find ourselves currently- led by an unhinged ignoramus, socially distanced by a pandemic he helped expand beyond control due to his incompetence, and a free (at-this-time) press that thus far, has been exceedingly uneven if not cowardly, in its limited response to his unfounded and tyrannical attacks. Excuse my hyperbole, but these are truly the darkest of times, and the damage that’s presently being wrought within our democracy will take decades to repair, if such a repulsive maiming can be undone at all. And key to this correction will be the dedicated involvement of both the free press but more crucially, the American public, who let’s face it, needs to get off their lazy arses for once and do their goddamn jobs as citizens for a change.
And what is their (and your) collective task, exactly? Well… first off, VOTE, and when you do, understand and believe that your choice does have far-flung consequences. Make your decision based on facts, not emotions or prejudicial views. Be informed. Prevent problems by not electing them into a position of power in the first place. I cannot stress this enough, because thanks to the combined density of Bernie Bros, Hillary Haters, and people just ignoring their inherent responsibility, we wound up with Trump. Second, hold those in power accountable- call them, email them, write letters, and if that doesn’t have an effect, show up to where they are, regardless of what or where it is- their church, the grocery store, a nice restaurant, or for most republicans, inside the bathroom stall of a bus station with a rough trick named Chaz.
Whatever you do, keep the pressure on, no matter the consequences or the time required to do so. Corrupt politicos are akin to a cockroach on your fridge- they run for cover when you flip the light switch on. If we’re ever going to get this country out from under the ever-expanding shroud of dictatorial darkness, it’s going to involve a combined effort from all of us, and one of our key allies will be the free press, so we need to support them like never before.
Because if we don’t, then we’re not going to have a truly free and United States any longer, just a banana republic gilded in 14k gold, led by the most spiritually corrupt of men, whose compassion, empathy, sympathy, and intellectual curiosity matches the size of his dick- and none of us should ever be cool with that.
“Whoever would overthrow the liberty of a nation must begin by subduing the freeness of speech.” – Benjamin Franklin