Wayne Michael Reich

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Wayne Michael Reich

Conspiracy Drearies Pt. 2 (Transpotting)

“Fear of the unknown and the other is the root of almost all hate. It is born of ignorance and fed by those who would keep us divided.” – Tinnekke Bebout

Greetings, Bitchiteers!

Is there anything better than finding yourself in that special pace that serves as your office away from the office, as you write between taking bites of a green chile bacon cheeseburger, as Mungo Jerry’s “In the Summertime” plays in the background? I say no. Good food, good vibes, and the occasional perk of having my Coca-Cola tab picked up by the house.

Overall, Life is better than average, if not fully carbonated.

Sure, I may have to undergo a surgical procedure straight out of Goldfinger, to fix the aneurysm issue I currently have going on in both of my eyes, but that’s just the way the dice tends to roll when you’re in your 50’s, is it not? If all goes well, I’ll soon have eyeballs of a twenty-year old, providing my team of highly trained black-market surgeons manages to get said eyeballs across the Mexican border without being caught.

Fingers crossed.

There’s an old maxim that goes; “That which is made, cannot be unmade. That which is done, cannot be undone”, and when I was younger, this sagacity underpinned my perception of just how the inner mechanics pf the Universe itself, worked. That is, I was convinced in the solidarity of the material, be it cultural, societal, or spiritual. As has just been established, not only was I quite naïve, I was also wildly optimistic in tandem as well.

At the time, I was a disciple of the theorem that nothing, regardless of what form it once possessed, was ever truly gone. I don’t believe in the constructs of Heaven and Hell, per se’, but I do ascribe to the principle that in the end, you’ll find yourself wherever your decisions placed you. For some of us, that destination will turn out to be an inferno that plays “Highlander 2” on a 24/7 loop for eternity, and for others, hopefully such as myself, our perpetuity will be spent on an island made out of Ding Dongs, where all the women look like this:

What can I say? I’m a sucker for chicks who kill zombies while looking absolutely fantastic.

All wishful thinking aside, I in my naivete, once professed a faith that when it came right down to it, people would do the right thing, and for the right reasons. However, that sanguinity has taken quite the hit over the last few years, and I can honestly say that despite the new coat of paint I slap on every few months pr so, the rust is still bubbling up. These days, while I may admit to liking Humanity as a general rule, I find most people to be a supreme disappointment overall.

If anything, I tend to look at the majority of people walking this giant ball of f**ked up space-dust and granite as living under a code that I’ve come to refer to as “The Rule of Plissken”. And what is that, you wonder?

In a nutshell, my premise is drawn from the actions of the titular anti-hero depicted in John Carpenter’s iconic film “Escape from New York”, wherein former Special Forces operator and decorated war hero of World War III, S.D. “Snake” Plissken, finds himself tasked (against his will) to rescue the American president from inside the high-security prison that once was the island of Manhattan.  If you have no idea what I’m talking about, and haven’t seen it, go stream it now, if only to see Adrienne Barbeau at her bangin’ best.

Ok. So I’ve got a type. Feel free to sue me.

At its core, the Rule of Plissken dictates that, while the right thing will always be done, the impetus for doing so, will be begrudging at best, with an eye kept out for the advantages to oneself for accomplishing the task at hand. Two examples of this, are when Snake saves Brain and Maggie, despite Brain’s betrayal, because he needs Brain’s map of the landmines on the exit bridge, and saves the President, only because he needs to save himself,

In the end, Snake is no humanitarian, a fact revealed to all of us, when he [SPOILERS!!!] swaps out the cassette tape that the President requires in order to promote peace between the nations of the world. If you think I’m being a tad bot harsh here, you may be right. As a cynic, I tend to see things in classic black & white, but there is an advantage to doing so, as I’m either always being proven right, or finding myself pleasantly surprised by the outcome.

In essence, I’m almost always in balance, unlike many of the situations and people I write about. Am I championing the concept that people are either intently good or evil? Not by a long shot. Despite the ease of labeling a spade a spade, people are not so easily classified.  

What I am saying however, is that either state of being is based solely on one’s unique perspective, experience, and the needs of the individual at the time a decision has to be made, regardless of duress or comfort. Conclusions to the legitimacy or the wickedness of an action, are as varied as the actions themselves, and just as debatable.

Eye of the beholder, and all that jazz. As the saying goes, “Perception is key”, and nowhere does there exist a better proof of concept for this assertion than the internet, where one can literally gorge themselves on the acuity of those unknown to them. I’ve beaten this dead horse before, but no matter how many time I do, it still stubbornly reanimates, as if it were Jesus at a potluck.

So, in the spirit of my last screed, I will hopefully be picking up the threads of conspiracy that the GQP has woven into a truckload of bats**t crazy area rugs, and attempt to feed them all to a cadre of overly hungry Tineola bisselliellain, in an ongoing attempt to put some sanity back into the national interior decorating discussion, where it is so desperately needed.

However, before I do that, I’d like to address some other things that have crossed my point of view as of late, and if I can’t get us reservations on the conspiracy carousel, rest assured, I’ll get us all the best of seats the next time round.

American novelist, Nathaniel Hawthorne, long before the days of instant communication was even a consideration, noted that; “Words- so innocent and powerless as they are, as standing in a dictionary, how potent for good and evil they become in the hands of one who knows how to combine them”, and if that didn’t foreshadow what the promise of the Web has devolved into, I don’t know what does.

Interchangeably Angel and Demon, the internet has swapped out yesterday’s beer halls and coffeeshops as the public platform for launching ideas and beliefs both inspiring and insipid, and in doing so, has forever changed the perceptions and boundaries of what was once truly civil speech, replacing it instead, with a far less palatable concoction steeped in hate, fear, and rampant misinformation.

Take for instance, this lovely example of such, as posted by one of the world’s angriest Istiophoridae:
Other than the fact that this asinine statement has more tin-foil wrapped around it than Marjorie Taylor Greene at a MAGA rally, it’s also reminiscent of a greatest hits album specifically designed for, as well as by, absolute morons. Sure all the familiarly catchy songs are featured, but there’s a new tune in thrown in, if only to give the false impression that somebody worked really hard to get this 5th rate mix-tape together.

Let’s look at the playlist, shall we? While there’s the standard hooks we’ve come to expect, such as paranoia, Islamophobia and as always, abortion and White genocide, there’s not only the truly original lick of openly complaining about being unable to own bombs, [because I guess you could before?] but claiming outright that LIBERALS are, and I swear to God, this actually hurt my brain when I read it, allied AGAINST legal Marijuana, as well.

Yup. I can’t even begin to tell you all how refreshing it was to see, Sean Hannity, Lauren Boebert, and Jim Jordan all bravely come forward to decry the medical opiate industry, and tout the benefits of scheduling a regular quickie with Mary Jane. Truly, an inspiring moment in our country’s esteemed history, was it not?

However, we cannot even for a second, overlook the GQP’s newest red-meat-dog-whistle, that being the invented out of ether conservative concerns about the in-process “demasculation” of modern men, expressed here once again by a troll whose best idea for a fake profile name, was to combine a fish with his favorite substitute for his lack of penii power:

They are? Well, that definitely explains the uptick in bookstores, cupcake shops, and slathered in butter clones of Channing Tatum that I’ve witnessed just walking around shirtless. Thank mythical God. For a second there, I thought it was just me who had successfully connected the dots. 

Strangely however, these incels for all their fear of women just living their lives without their input, are also seemingly calm with same said uppity females having unlimited access to guns. Now, I won’t speak for you, but if there was a specific group of people that I was convinced were trying to take over the world, I’d be far less chill about giving them the tools to do so. Just saying.

And yet somehow, despite this nod to equality in firepower, there’s still an overall tone of condescending misogynistic creepiness to be found within this societal concession, because when it gets right down to it, these wannabe warriors still think they’re the ones that set the bar for women to limbo under:
For once, this guy is actually right. And the best way to prove that Feminism has no place in the debate regarding the 2nd Amendment, is to denigrate women to being nothing more than a short descriptive of the body parts that men like Rael, seem to think define just what a woman is.

I’d also like to call attention to the fact that “back in the day” of the Founding Father portrayed, women couldn’t vote, own property, sign contracts, bring legal suits, hold any governmental position, had no political representation, and if they earned a wage, the money was legally the property of their husbands, as were they. And when it came to women’s 2nd Amendment rights…

The issue of women owning guns was societally viewed in the same regard as was teaching them how to read- that is, while there weren’t any specific decrees forbidding it, and there could be some benefit to doing so, the need for such wasn’t considered as imperative, since the assumption that women lacked the ability to defend health and home wasn’t in their nature. But other than that annoying factoid which sinks his assessment entire, Rael is on the right track… to be run over by actual History, that is..

Shocking that such a thoughtfully intelligent guy who looks like this…

[photo credit: Rogel Rael]

… doesn’t know the first f**king thing about women’s role in American history, huh? However, in his very limited defense, it’s not like Rael has a lot of alleged experience interacting with women, as evidenced by the fact that he couldn’t even spell his own derogatory descriptive of “Tits”, correctly.

But to his credit, he did manage to nail the word “ass” with flying colors, even if he couldn’t get a piece of one to save his life, and judging from the dimensions of that pockmarked cantaloupe he wittily calls his face, I seriously doubt he’s ever gotten off of his, unless a Hot Pocket was to be had for doing so.

But as it is with all bloviating Betas wanting to be able to shop without shame in the actual Men’s section versus that of the junior Man-boy department, where they’ve acquired most of their wardrobe, if not all of their rampant misogyny, the inherent need to inform us all of who’s really the “man”, is never that far from the back of their so-called minds:
If a man is truly the King of his Castle, as the adage goes, this wannabe’s only purpose within it, is to remind his spouse that she settled for the candidate that’s sixth in line to wear the crown. And despite his posturing, this poster boy for perpetual virginity is most certainly, run like a racehorse by the women in his life, be they strangers or intimates, hence the grandstanding that they do not.

People with certifiable influence and power don’t talk about it on social media, they uncompromisingly wield it in the world of the real, and they sure as the day is long, don’t hide behind an obviously fabricated Facebook profile to do so, either. If it just so happens that this person is telling the truth about his familial demographic within his house, rest assured that there’s no way in Hell he has any form of control over three women at once.

What he does control, and that with the steel-jacketed fist of Cobra Commander, is his devastating application of self-owning and utterly pathetic chest-beating memes, such as this one:.

Yes, Marlin… the reason why you’re losing all those political battles, is because of sackless men, and not because of the ignorance, bigotry, or the divisiveness that your party wallows in as if it were a fattened sow heading to market.

Nope, it’s your fellow brotards who are dropping the ball (or their balls, if you prefer) on this one. Thank metaphorical God that they have such a shining example of greased testosterone to show them the way, once you get out from behind fake profile of yours to do so.

Pushing Marlin’s unwarranted braggadocio aside for the moment, I’m also highly suspect that such a fine specimen of manliness personified, would also feel the need to be so crude as well. As a rule, truly confident men exude strength, not vulgarity, and the fact he felt the need to tell strangers to (sigh) “#Loveyourballs” and “#BeAMan”, just proves to me that even his own hands refuse to touch him, unless he soaks them in Jack Daniels first.

If there is one single factor that accurately paints Betas as the cravenly cucks that they truly are, it’s their obsession with male genitalia, albeit their own or as is most often the case,  the set connected to those who identify as either Gay or Trans-positive. And while persons afflicted with this prurient interest can indeed, be considered as “straight”, their obsession with others testicles, is nothing less than a fetishtic disorder worth the time to study in some depth, and that, hopefully sooner than later.

Not so much to increase their capacity for personal tolerance, mind you, although that would be the ultimate goal, it’s more along the lines of making sure that we’ll never have to read a headline like this, ever again:

No, your eyes are not deceiving you, so yes… you did read that correctly. The Alt-Right’s favorite rent-boy for hire, the bitchiest Beta you’ve ever heard of, and former bow-tie aficionado, Tucker Carlson, seriously encouraged the act of tanning your testicles, as part of a “Bromopathy” regimen, an idea so stupid, if not potentially dangerous, that this may be the first time in my life that a snarky retort has eluded me.

According to Pasha Dashtgard, director of research at American University’s Polarization and Extremism Research and Innovation Lab; “This ‘bromeopathic’ idea to increase testosterone is there to counteract the effects of feminism and the feminization of the Western man, This platforming by Tucker Carlson is happening because it falls into this narrative that there is a crisis of masculinity, that cancel culture and wokeness have emasculated men in America.”

This rapidly increasing feeling of being politically, culturally, and influentially impotent, has long been a problem among Conservative men, and never more so then now, a time when (GASP!!!) women and the LGBTQ community have in tandem, made strong advances into the spheres of power that straight White men used to dominate without breaking a sweat. But it does in retrospect, somewhat explain their testes-obsessed tantrums, as their paranoiac fear that they’re about to have their personal set handed back to them in a paper bag, intensifies.

This anxiety has apparently rattled this walking representation of the German word “Backpfeifengesicht “ so much as of late, that he felt the need one night, to ask his audience of equally neutered Neanderthals a question that he himself, has probably been working on hourly, if not daily, since he attended his senior Prom arm-in-arm with his Mom:Easy answer- they’re the ones that are generally avoiding meeting your gaze whenever you try to engage them in unwanted conversation at work. But yeah… they’re the ones responsible for bringing shame upon men who act as if they were Roman Polanski at a sleepaway camp.

This non-issue, stoked into a bonfire by gelded gargoyles, such as Tucker, Mucker, Pucker, F**ker, or whatever the f**k his name is, is the newest point of faux outrage that cucks such as he feed to their base almost 24/7, in order to distract from the reality that the GQP’s standard dog and pony act is retreading it’s best as time wears on, and they have nothing else left in the allegorical closet to offer, save for their own possibly latent homosexual tendencies, as expressed below:

Sigh… the more that I read Marlin’s dumber-than-f**k posts, the more it becomes blatantly obvious that whereas the 747 of reality is concerned, he’s akin n to the Canadian Goose that’s been sucked into one of its engines. I find it interesting that for all their slanderous bluster regarding the Left being immoral, perverse, and sexually obsessed, the Alt-Right is the only one I see constantly referencing sodomy, pedophilia, men’s declining sperm count, misogynistic tropes, cross-dressing, and adultery as self-projecting talking points.

And as for criminal convictions, well the numbers speak for themselves:
Don’t trust me on this? Feel free to go do your own research, then. You know, the thing that the GQP faithful adamantly refuse to do? Granted, this chart doesn’t include the additional convictions of those affiliated with the prior Trump administration, but I think given the fact that several of his associates have been prosecuted successfully for crimes ranging from lying to the FBI to child trafficking, these numbers will remain favorable to the Dems, for quite some time to come.

White collar crimes aside, one of the other consistencies to be found within the cravenly land of conservative man-boys for whom the descriptive “incel” was specifically crafted, is the ever-pervasive, and previously alluded to, aspect of toxic masculinity, as showcased by Marlin Mossberg’s postings above. But what is that, asks every man on the planet who’s never talked to an actual woman without the benefit of a credit card?

Well, as a public service benefit for both they, and the women who wish the practitioners of such didn’t exist, I’ll tell you. The clinical characterization states that TM is; “a set of attitudes and ways of behaving stereotypically associated with or expected of men, regarded as having a negative impact on men and on society as a whole. In relation, the destructive messages associated with toxic masculinity can lead to men feeling entitled to engage in violence against women.”

Or as Tucker Carlson would so cheerfully describe it; “Acting like a “real” man”, something Carlson is widely respected for, as he openly attacks Feminism, women’s body autonomy, and describes women not only as “extremely primitive” and “cunty”, but as “whores”, and “like dogs”, as well. Carlson, whom I suspect shamefully masturbates while dressed up as a real boy, has also suggested that it “gets women going” when men argue with them, clarifying his misogyny by saying that;

“If you’re talking to a feminist, and she’s given you, ‘Well, men really need to be more sensitive,’ no, actually, men don’t need to be more sensitive. You just need to be quiet and kind of do what you’re told.”

And just like the “Real men” he so desperately wants to be regarded as being in league with, he utters all these masculine assertions as such a man would do, from behind the safety of his desk, located inside the testosterone-soaked men’s bathroom of his bully pulpit.

All half-jokes notwithstanding, Beta cucks such as Carlson and his ilk, are literally terrified at the prospect of women having any control of the reins that they’ve held for so long, and in their worldview, the only thing more emasculating than having to acknowledge the presence of women with power, is to be equated as being one without the access to such:I don’t want to get too deep into the morass of biology here, but it seems to me, that if one set of genitals can survive pushing a human being out of it, whereas the one accorded to the opposite gender can be easily thwarted by minor contact with the edge of a kitchen table, only one really gets to claim the title of being a true badass. Just saying.

However, I do love the unintentional equivalence that not owning a gun, is akin to one being a willing Castrato against the good of society. I’m sure there’s nothing to unpack here in regards to Leyba’s alleged need to publicly overcompensate for some form of personal shortcoming, am I right? The key to this theorem of course, being the word “short”.

In Leyba’s world, “Men need to be Men” whatever the f**k that means, but my gut reaction tells me that most likely, it refers to men being selfishly boorish pricks, and women being held forcibly to the standards set by the Wives of Stepford.

Leyba, like most male cosnservacucks, simply cannot abide the thought of their fellow man being anything less than a mélange of Mel Gibson channeling Sean Connery, opining that, if young boys aren’t “taught’ to act like men by their fathers, then most certainly, outside influences will somehow, magically “turn them” into Hello Kitty loving wussies:

Newsflash? I f**king love Hello Kitty, and I can still beat your ass flatter than a Kansas pancake, because one has nothing to do with the other. And while I can split a rail with the best of them, I as a man, choose not to, because it’s no longer 1865, and Duraflame makes an excellent product that arrives at my house splinter-free.

Maybe instead of cracking logs, Leyba’s unfortunately allowed to spawn father, should have spent more time teaching him how to crack open books instead, so he’d have an information-based understanding of how the world actually works, as it’s fairly obvious from this posting, that he considers a half-truth to be a whole one:

It may surprise some of you, but overall, I actually somewhat agree with this sentiment. There has been a coarsening of society, as evidenced by America’s embrace of Trash Culture, but there’s a crucial detail that Leyba and the original poster left out of their shared narrative, and it is this: it isn’t the Left that’s cheapening the character of this country, unless you count wanting equality for all, as a detriment to creating a stronger society, which of course, the GQP base does.

But when you keep in mind, that this is one of our aspirational role models;

And that this is theirs, displaying that particularly unique blend of decorum, compassion, humanity, and raw sense of ever-so-present masculinity, that he’s heralded for world-wide, it becomes quite clear which political party reads books about a man’s role in society, and which one burns them:

This lone image, succinctly captures the pure essence of what the modern-day conservative movement currently is- hateful, ignorant, elitist, racist, homophobic, xenophobic, who’ve given full emotional investment to a self-aggrandizing, cowardly, deceitful, adulterous, treasonous man-child, who despite his decades long history of lies, graft, and betrayal, claimed at one of his ego-stroke rallies that; “I’ve got to be the cleanest, I think I’m the most honest human being, perhaps, that God has ever created.”

Nevertheless, Leyba does raise a good point about men not being gentlemen any longer, and as he did, I feel that I must give credit where credit is due, especially when he inadvertently proves his own point, by posting self-owning evidence like this:

I may not be a betting man, but I’d dare roll the metaphorical dice on the suggestion that whereas Leyba is concerned, a woman’s vagina is most certainly allegorical to a manhole cover, in the sense that for the good of society at large, he’s denied consensual access to opening one whenever the mood strikes him.

That is not to say however, that Leyba lacks the charm and wit to get lucky without the aid of a publicized trust fund and well-known heart problems, it’s more along the lines that I feel if Leyba were to ever bag and tag a model-worthy woman, she’d be the one seen posing in Hustler, rather than Playboy. Unless of course, droll banter like this truly turns on a hottie with a body:

Despite how truly immature this posting is, especially when you consider that Leyba is a middle-aged man, and not a 14-year-old boy, he is right about one thing regarding beer being better than a woman. Unlike women, Leyba can actually not only consistently pick up a beer, he can get it to willingly come home with him, without making it consume itself and five of its brothers first.

But as you’d suspect, Leyba is hardly alone in echoing this worldview where the tensile strength of one’s eventual manhood is as fragile as wet tissue paper, drawing conclusions based solely on their willful ignorance of a culture that they refuse to either attempt to understand, or ignore outright, choosing instead, to see the world entire as a place where unsuspecting children are mere centimeters away from developing a love for fashion design, if not interior decorating:
I’m curious… which “enemies” exactly, are the ones who are currently scheming to nefariously turn our future men into women? The Russians? The North Koreans? The cast of Queer Eye for the Straight Guy? I guess it could be Disney, given their recent decision to depict the world as it actually is, in their upcoming movies and shows, but since they already have their hands full trafficking children via the conduit that is the “It’s a Small World “ ride, I’m forced to admit that I am truly stumped as to who the responsible culprits could be.

While maniacal theories regarding the true intentions of the LGBTQ community has always been a front-burner issue for the GQP, the last three years have seen a dramatic upswing in their unfettered homo- and -trans-phobic delusions, especially where the matter of Transgenderism is concerned. Rest assured, when they’re not blowing the dog-whistle regarding the non-issue of children being sexually assaulted in Target bathrooms, it’s only because they’re currently focusing on their fevered fantasies that the TG community is perpetually holding open auditions:

Honestly, I’m not sure if I should be amused or horrified that overly phobic prats such as Leyba, have quite literally, not a f**king clue as to what the TG and Gay community are about, considering how much he obsesses over them. It would be akin to one of you asking me about Milla Jovovich, and me being unable to show you my numerous flow charts documenting her awesomeness.

And while this may come as a sincere shock to Leyba, TG’s do reproduce, as not all of said demographic decides to go full post-op. I know this is disappointing for you to learn Ricky Retardo, but TG’s and Gay people are interested only in the adult version of their sexual preference, and I am truly sorry that you find yourself unable to get the exploratory hummer you seemingly desire on that particular side of the coital fence.

And the less said about this dumbf**kery;

the better, given that this person, for all of his talk about Transgenderism, is seemingly unaware as to how they arrive into this world.to begin with, and I have neither the time, nor the number of anatomically correct hand-puppets that would be required to explain it to him.

Playing along with Leyba’s erroneous belief that TG’s couldn’t possibly have a familial structure like the rest of us, I’d like to take this moment, and introduce you to this shining gem of humanity, one Joey Burke, whom I can only assume judging from the personal posting we’re about to review, played a fair amount of roller hockey in his youth, sans the protection of any protective headgear. Burke, like most conservatives is angry.

So very angry.

And as is typical with the majority of free-range conservative cuckolds, he needs to be told what he’s supposed to be angry about, and I can assure you, it’s most definitely the kind of opinion that would make the most ardent of eugenicists, almost proud to share the same planet with him, if not the same social solution::

Now, before I metaphorically eviscerate Burke, much in the manner that a similarity named graverobber did to his stock in trade during the era of the 1820’s, I’d like to discuss who this Benny Johnson person actually is, and it’s a story worth notating for both its level of personal hubris, if not its wretchedness.

Johnson, currently cosplaying as the host of The Benny Report on NewsMax TV, is known as a former prominent staff writer at Buzzfeed, who found himself unceremoniously terminated after it was publicly revealed that numerous articles he had claimed as original compositions, were in fact, heavily plagiarized.

Therefore, it should come as no surprise that a lummox such as Burke, who obviously needs stage directions, as he seemingly can’t think for himself, should requote an established liar, who most likely, nicked this lack of intellectualism from somebody else.

As with their need to make women appear “less than”, the same strategy is applied here as well, in order to dehumanize a targeted community that this modern-day Goebbels, likens to a cluster of Dementors that have been loosed from the pages of the Harry Potter series, to openly feast upon the innocents of the world, via the formerly magical lands that a cartoon mouse built.

While this expressed sentiment alone is beyond repulsive, I’d also call attention to the fact that it was uttered by a man who, all sarcasm aside, looks like he’s more than fairly knowledgeable with the storage capacity of his house’s crawlspace.  If anyone in this conversation appears as “soulless”, it’s definitely the guy whom I suspect, has the full set of trading cards featuring the collected works of Theodore Bundy.

As I had to do with Leyba, I will attempt to educate the duo of Burke and Johnson, which sounds less like a comedy act, and more along the lines of people you’ll eventually hear about on the History Channel, if only to prove just why the need to randomly spay and neuter Republicans, should sometimes be a tangible thing.

For the record and for humanity’s sake, the following is certifiably accurate: Transpersons are not freaks, they do have families, albeit better then the one you were poorly raised in, and shockingly, they do have kids, as I sadly had to point out to your equally as hateful brother from another motherf**ker, above.

And while I’m not sure as to why it is that you associate pink hair with sexual deviance, I’ll just assume for the time being that it somehow relates to your being caught inside the public bathroom of a Stae Fair, attempting to please yourself with a bucket of cotton candy. Heck… it makes about as much sense as your unwarranted transphobia, so I’m going to run with it, regardless of the truth.

You know. Like you just did, you ignorant troglodyte?

However< I am somewhat sympathetic for those conservatives with children of their own, as our ever-changing world these days, is sometimes quite hard to translate to those who have yet to acquire the life experience necessary to understand it:

Poor Don… can you imagine the personal embarrassment involved with being unable to articulate the fact that sometimes birds like bees, and vice versa, and the reality that you’re truly okay with such, is both perfectly natural, and yes, even sane?

Speaking only for myself, I have zero issue with members of either the TG or Gay community, as some of my best wingmen back in the dating days, were affiliated with one or the other, and as far as I’m concerned, I’d rather hang out with the Fabulous, rather than the Fascist, any day of the week, hands down.

If that’s the jar of jam you like to spread on metaphorical toast, I say go for it, and enjoy yourself, as you will not ever maliciously hurt a person with your lifestyle, save for the ones who are insanely jealous at your ability to mix a dead-on perfect Manhattan. But as we’ve seen since … well, forever, conservatives just cannot let the differences that make each one of us singularly unique, slide past without some form of hatefully ignorant commentary following in tandem:

I would like to remind you all, that at one point in time, the dual subjects of homosexuality and Transgenderism were considered to be a credible mental illness, and along with the public stigma that could occur to such an invasive assessment being leveled, there was also the very real threat of criminal prosecution for being openly “out”, as well.

This abominable diagnosis, reverted for the better when the American Psychiatric Association (APA) removed the diagnosis of “homosexuality” from its 2nd edition of the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual (DSM). In 1973, was a critical first step in assimilating the accurate view that such proclivities are not deviant, immoral, or as the Cafeteria Christian Brigade likes to frequently claim, “Against God”.

If God is truly infallible, then being Gay or TG, is not a mistake, so much as it is a deliberate part of God’s overall Divine Plan. And as an aside, I do have to appreciate the irony of a devoted homo/transphobe posting about how “they” suffer from a mental illness, as he spent God-knows-how-long tracking down just the right meme to express his obsessive disgust with a lifestyle that is not his own.

Seriously. I’m not a psychologist by any stretch of the imagination, but if you find yourself fixating on the sexual identities of persons unknown to you, half as much as these loons seemingly do, I’d strongly suggest that perhaps, your therapy session with Dr. Goldberg, should be expanded to at least three times a week. Especially when you don’t allegedly know for certain, what is “real”, and what’s not

Personally, I don’t think that Haniford really gave any deepness of thought to his inference regarding the long-term ramifications of reclassifying the duality of homosexuality and Transgenderism as a form of mental illness, because let’s face it, this is still America, and if you give people a validated excuse to do so, this is now most people would apply such an action:

Sneer all you want, but you know damn well that I’m not wrong.

As noted, hateful sentiments and punitive actions, are nothing new for people who openly decry the alleged “perverse” lifestyle of the LGBTQ community, as they purposefully overlook the one that Donald Trump presents on a daily base, but this latest go-round of slobbering rage is quite the new twist on a classically vile theme.

Collectively, it’s almost as if the GQP base woke up after a decades-long nap, and stumbled upon the fact that not only do these fellow humans of theirs actually exist outside of a movie, they’ve also learned how to use an indoor bathroom, to boot.: But far more pathetic, is the fact that due to their willful ignorance, they can’t even draw distinctions between the various sub-groups either, and just lump them all together, as if they were the hors d’oeuvres at a discount wedding:

You were “shocked” to see cross-dressers at a Cher concert. In 2004. I apologize in advance, to inform you that not only is the concept of cross-dressing hardly a shock to the social norms as they currently exist, its in fact, become so mainstream, that it hardly even qualifies as a blip on the cultural radar, as far as such things used to go. And just because someone likes to wear gender-specific clothing, it does not mean that they’re either gay or in the middle of transitioning. If it did, there’d be about ten newly-made dudes in my life, who owe me no less than 25 dress shirts.

Not to mention, this beloved American has been engaging in the act for over seven decades;
and yet, he still retains his well-deserved status as one of our most beloved icons, despite his numerous attempts to recruit our innocent children into being friends of Dorothy, Equating cross-dressers to either homosexuals or Transpersons, is yet another definitive proving that it’s not the personal practices that’s freaking out the so-called “straights”, so much as it is their Fear of the Other.

As we’ve seen from the idiocy already displayed, this cravenly mob are ever-presently finding themselves apoplectic that any aspect of the LGBTQ community is dared defined as equitable to themselves, falsely perceiving that their sovereignty of selfdom is under no less than a constant attack by the fictitious “Gay Agenda”, which is phobic-speak for taking offense at the fact that those you find distasteful, are living their best lives without asking for your benevolent permission first::
Yup… nothing more annoying than trying to live your life, and being rudely reminded via a gay tuba, that it’s not all about you. And even worse than that, is knowing that for some strange reason, corporations who make a wide range of products to sell, oddly believe “those people” actually buy them, just like you and I do. As its already been established by these homophobes that the LGBTQ community doesn’t have families, kids, or even any semblance of a soul, convincing David that they actually might require a toaster oven, is right out:

I kind of feel bad for David here. It must be so hard nowadays to find commercial breaks that cater exclusively to hatefully dense White people and their specific advertising needs. Outside of the ads on FOX, that is. But don’t you worry David, the fine folks at My Pillow and New Day Financial, will always have your back, no matter what those nasty “woke” businesses decide to do.

One question though? Other than HBO promoting “Orange is the New Black”, where exactly, is he seeing advertising consistently featuring multiple transsexuals? And while the urge to make a tasteless joke at the expense of the Kardashians is presently gnawing on my funny-bone, I’m going to take the high road, here, and just let my question stand as is.

However, if I was going to endeavor to take David’s pointless social kvetching and turn it into a financial positive, I’d suggest that we take his cast of unique characters, pitch a series to Disney+, have them turn it into a “Three’s Company” type of sitcom, sit back, crack open a cold one, and watch the money just pour in.

But David is not alone concerning his feeling of being overlooked by the corporations that he once swore loyalty to, as his allegorical BFF William Pennell is right there beside him, stewing in his own self-created bubble of seething White victimhood:

Pennell, who has a secondary FB account under the alias of “Lowery Porter”, is quite the dizzying intellect, let me tell you. I’ll be showcasing some of his inaner insights in an upcoming screed, but for now, let’s just stick with this slice of Aryan arrogance, shall we? To start, let’s take a look at a graph measuring how minorities view their representation in modern media advertising, against Pennell’s soon to be debunked opinion:

Considering the data presented here, I’d suggest that if Pennell is sincerely missing a friendly White face, I’d offer the suggestion that he either stop watching Telemundo and/or BET, and slither back to the urine-warm embrace of FOX, where the only time he’ll have to see a non-Caucasian, is when they have one on as a special guest, if only for the purpose of reminding their viewership that the only member of a racial minority that truly knew his place, was Stepin Fetchit.

Refreshingly, at least from a certain point of view that is, this traditionalist hate-fest is unexpectedly anti-misogynistic whereas the topic of women wanting to spew equal amounts of homophobic bile is concerned. Quite literally, this may be the only area of discussion next to performing metaphorical fellatio on the mushroom tip of Donald Trump’s flaccidity, where conservative women are allowed truly free reign.

And since women are generally regarded by many, as the fairer sex, we’ll gently start this dissertation off with this delightful slice of passive-aggressive condescension:

You just have to live conservatives, do you not? They’re ever so nice about promoting their idiocy, all so that the rest of us actually functioning humans, can make an informed decision as to how best avoid interacting with them. Truly, an act of personal charity that is thoughtful beyond words, as most GQP fembots such as Nicole here, find utilizing such, far too difficult to compose original thoughts to begin with.

But this assessment of mine doesn’t ring true for everybody of course, as some Stepford wives actually can expound (at great length) about what they consider the evils of the TG influence to be, and aren’t afraid to jump right in. Unfortunately, what they generally dive into headfirst no less, is the world’s largest stand mixer, which tends to take their well-rehearsed inner monologue, and convert it into a nearly unintelligible word smoothie, instead:Wow. Just… wow. I don’t know what’s worse in regards to the inherent madness contained within this diatribe, given the syntax, the falsehoods, the ignorance, or the personally arrogant self-assurance that this pile of conceptual merde need to be expressed publicly.

This unhinged commentary, serving less as a warning, and far more as the final nail in the coffin of this obviously mentally disturbed individual’s intellect, just further affirms my belief that most conservatives shouldn’t. be allowed within ten miles of a house plant, much less an impressionable child.

I know that to think of women as possessing an intrinsic sense of maternal sovereignty is sexist as hell, but good god, one’s lack of it still shouldn’t manifest itself as the complete polar opposite of it, either. But leave it to the GQP base, to take an issue that doesn’t affect them one iota, and turn it into a rallying cry for inflicting their bias under the guise of protecting the greater good of a society that they truly care nothing about:

This lunacy grenade, yet another trope of cancel culture that conservatives claim to hate, yet have eagerly embraced, if not weaponized, in an attempt to mold a society resistant to their abominable ideals, into the new normal that they so desperately want to achieve. And if that societal upheaval requires the inclusion of lies, slurs, and threats of boycott, it’s almost a certainty that conservatives will embrace it as the noblest of actions.

And when these tactics don’t work, due to the aggressiveness of their blatant deceit, there’s aways the tried-and-true tactic of endlessly screaming: “What about the Children?”, until the people they’re targeting acquiesce out of the exceedingly valid concern that they’ll be regarded as being either uncaring, or as closeted pedophiles:

On the face of it, this bigotry masquerading as concern seems legit, does it not? However, it’s also exceptionally disingenuous as well. Saying that the “idea” for one’s personal decision to embrace their true identity as being either Gay or Transgender, is patently ridiculous at its best, and completely insane, at its worst.

If exposure to societal concepts at an impressionable age could truly affect one’s further down the road lifestyle decisions, my being the first bionic super-spy who can not only fly, but also lives inside a volcano lair tended to by clones of Lynda Carter, would have been firmly established in the public consciousness by now. But the notation of such being “a recipe for lifelong depression & self-loathing is correct, even if such an estimation was selectively cherry-picked to fit this bullspit narrative.

When a person of alternate lifestyle finds themself extant in a society such as the one conservatives seemingly want and are working towards, this assertion of depressive self-hatred would be a viable aspect of their lives, as they would be consistently subjected to the bigotry and homophobia that Neo-Cons openly flaunt as sustenance, inspiration, and validation for their truly pitiful existence.

However, in a society where such persons are publicly supported, encouraged, and most importantly, openly respected, for their honest individualism, the metaphorical sky is the limit. For sanity and reality’s sake, no one “chooses” to be Gay or Transgender, very much in the same way that no one “chooses” to be African-American, Asian, or Caucasian- it quite literally, is what it is, and no outside factor can change that, despite the histrionic harping of the alt-Right.

Despite this proven certainty, the bigoted base that comprises the Right-wing movement in this country, never misses an opportunity to demonize those who fall under the descriptive of the LGBTQ banner, by slandering them as we’ve previously seen, from being “soulless” husks of humanity, to falsely claiming that they’re targeting children, but like most viruses that plague Mankind, these swimmers from the shallow end of the gene pool, have mutated a new theorem for public dissemination, and it’s a doozy:You heard it here first, Ladies and Gentlemen- the cause of the declining birth rate on this already far too crowded and over-stressed planet, is those darn Gay people who refuse to over-breed like the rest of us fine upstanding missionary-style fornicators. And let’s have a round of applause for Larry’s parents, who after deciding not to “murder” him, raised him to be a judgmental and self-righteous homophobe instead.

I guess that’s a win for parenting, but I’m not sure how.

I’d point out that if you’re annoyed at the number of Gay people not having children, you should probably blame their parents as well, because they’re the ones who had all those gay kids to begin with. Speaking of which, for people who are so concerned with bringing children into the world to increase the aforementioned declining birth rate, conservatives generally aren’t too keen on the idea of gay couples either adopting the post-born, or utilizing surrogates to have children of their own.

Odd, that.

I mean, they’re totally down for impregnating their mistresses two at a time, or forcing women against their will to give birth via draconian anti-abortion statutes, so you’d think they’d be all in for the creation of a stable family dynamic, but they’re not.

In fact, only 27 states (and one territory) currently have laws or policies that expressly prohibit discrimination in adoption based on sexual orientation or gender, and despite a landmark ruling by the Supreme Court in 2015, some states have openly attempted to forward prohibitive legislation that gives private adoption agencies, the capacity to discriminate on the basis of sexual orientation.

So much for the GQP’s “pro-family values” propaganda, as I see it, but please remember that they’re just trying to “protect” those children from… um, reality, I can only assume?

Here’s the deal: if you’re banning qualified people from becoming parents, or banning books that contain uncomfortable information, or decrying political correctness all in the name of protecting “the children” at the expense of other children’s well-being, all you are really doing in actuality, is projecting the message that only a specific societal demographic is suitable for the role of parenting, which like most of the firmly-held beliefs conservatives have, is simply not true.

Personally, I’ve never ever witnessed any other collective of intellectually-challenged people, be they fans of Nickelback or Highlander 2, who so proudly flaunt their conceit in being mediocre, so much as the GQP faithful does.

For people who under the cover of an organized political movement, have consistently mocked those who are clearly their obvious superiors in word, thought, and deed, they sure have spent an awful lot of energy and time demanding unwarranted praise for not catching their tongues in the spinning blades of a ceiling fan, which to be fair, has always impressed me as well, given the dearth of their collective intellect.

Further evidence of their disconnect from logic is their recent attempts at hijacking the societal impact of the “Gay Pride” crusade, due to that fact that it openly celebrates the whole of LGBTQ culture as being integral to our national fabric of diverse inclusivity, which it most certainly is, whether they want to admit it or not.

Yeah. I said it. Come at me, you phobic Twunts. In fact, I dare ya’.

However, despite their loathing the concept of the LGBTQ community at large being “allowed” to laud the uniqueness of its accomplishments and dogged determination to be accepted for who they are, the anti-gay cabal nonetheless, looked upon their communal platform spearheading this cultural change, and thought that all they needed to do to make it their own, was to slap a few Punisher decals on it, crank up the Ted Nugent, and start Twittering that being born “straight” was somehow, a noble achievement:

You just have to love Albert’s enthusiasm for a state of being he had no control over, celebrating a non-accomplishment that nobody who’s rational gives a dam about, while implying that not only could he get two women who, judging from their mud-flap silhouettes, are obvious strippers, but that they’d be happy to be near him as well.

Now, because I don’t want to judge that which is allegedly already widely known, his flawed optimism that they’d leave his mom’s garage sexually satisfied, is kind of adorable in its naïveté, if I may be so bold.

As for Albert’s beta buddy’s snarky comment inferring that there’s “lots ‘ of “them” just wandering around freely, I’d note that in their dual cases, more gay men within their social spheres might actually be a good thing whereas they’re concerned, since due to their severely limited intellectual appeal, less competition for women puts the law of averages on their side for once.

Nevertheless, Eudsave’s cravenly disdain for Transexuals goes far past that which most people would openly acknowledge is a feeling of personal discomfort with their lifestyle, and instead, abominably, devolves into the dialectal hate that a certain Germanic-based political party utilized regarding their murderous demonization of a race that had done them no harm, save for triggering their sense of inherent bigotry, as is seemingly the case here with Eudsave’s ignorantly disgusting commentary:

I’m curious. What do you think the public reaction to Eudsave’s willful intolerance be, if we replaced his use of the word “animal” to describe TG athletes with the far less tolerable slurs associated with White Supremacy? Do you think he’d be allowed to slide past using such terminology, or would the SJW Brigade chew on him as if they were Cerebos on steroids? 

I think we all know the answer to that one, but a slur against one is a slur against all, and we as a society, need to step up in unified opposition to it. If I were to be transparent, I can honestly say that I don’t follow Women’s sports. But then again, I don’t follow Men’s sports either, so in concern to this particularly new obsession that’s currently afflicting today’s conservatives, I don’t have a lot of contextual background in relation to this subject.

I for one, couldn’t tell you a damn thing about who’s the best this or that within the world of athletic competition, and truthfully, I wouldn’t care if I could. If I’m not personally playing the game, sports hold about as much interest for me as watching paint dry. And I say this, as a visual artist who has literally spent years of his life watching actual paint dry, but I digress, as nobody has the time to hear about that.

The issue at hand, is whether it’s ethical to grant a Transgender male who identifies as being Female, and who has either fully transitioned or is in the process of doing so, the right to compete against other women in relation to athletic competitions centered on the participation of that sole gender alone. As you can imagine, it’s a rather thorny issue for many, and on the scientific side of the debate, the question of physiology does come up as a deciding factor, as one might expect it to do.

Speaking only for myself as always, I take very little issue with men and women dually competing in trials of athletic ability, with the game of Football and/or Rugby, being the lone exceptions. This is not due to any form of sexism on my part mind you, but I have severe reservations about how well a 125lb woman, regardless of physical prowess, would do going up against one of the 375lb steroid-enhanced Silverbacks that the NFL has over-populated its league with.

You’ve got the gift of hustle Tiffany, and one hell of a throwing arm to boot, but when Johnny “The Juggernaut” Jones manages to hit you at full speed, the Law of Action-Reaction, as noted in modern-day physics, will be more than enough singularly, to knock both sets of your grandparents into complete and devastating unconsciousness, mark my words.

However, when it comes to the rest of the assemblage of athleticism, I say have at it. Even when I was a kid playing league soccer, I never understood just why there weren’t any girls on my team. Off the field, we all played together, and while I was competent at my worst, some of them were Pele in a freaking micro-skirt, at theirs, and I think that’s really the problem here… men just don’t like to be bested by a gender that they perceive themselves as being stronger than.

Change my mind. I dare you.

But if this assumption of mine is true, I hear you ask, then why is a man competing against women on their allegorical playing fields even a concern at all? I’ll tell you why. Widespread acceptance. If TG’s are allowed to compete directly with the gender that they identify with, and it becomes the socialized norm, then it stands to reason, that said affected gender will demand the same in reverse, and it’s that which would represent a cultural threat to the established rules of gender politics.

Can you imagine? Women and their TG counterparts, might demand salaries equitable to men’s. Access to promotional deals, once dominated solely by men. Media exposure on par with the likes of male sports stars, and that’s just the beginning of what could become theoretically, if given the time, a truly non-gendered social institution, open to all, dependent only on the basis of one’s own natural abilities.

What can I say? Sometimes my inner Utopian comes out to play when he’s drunk. So, are conservatives really upset about this latest self-invented tempest in a teapot, or are they as usual, just following the cravenly crowd to the next outbreak of faux outrage?

Well, it seems to be a bit of both, as it’s become quite the standard that regardless of whatever issue is currently affecting the Great Society, if it’s something conservatives dislike or disagree with, an overwrought display of histrionics are sure to set up shop, post haste.

And just who is the supreme Postmaster General of distractive deflection and eternal social scapegoating? None other than America’s answer to what Benito Mussolini would have looked like if he swam in dime-store bronzer, the one and only, Donald “Cinnamon Hitler” Trump, of course:

One small observation, if I may? If your noble defender of women’s rights is Donald Trump, not only has the Republic fallen, odds are good that most of its female inhabitant’s chant “Gilead is Number One!” at all of its sporting events. That is, if their “Commanders” allow them to in the first place.

Seriously, Conservatives? Your chosen champion for women’s progress, is a thrice-married, adulterous, lecherous, cravenly, treasonous, alleged pedophile, and self-confessed sexual deviant? What happened., did your dark spell of resurrection fail to reanimate the corpse of Richard “The Nightstalker” Ramirez, and a perverted Oompa-Loompa was the best backup option available to you at the time?

I do admire the chutzpah it took for a man who views a golf course as equivalent to a Church, declaring an allegiance to the same, considering how frequently he openly breaks the Ten Commandants more often than one of his scams masquerading as business ventures, breaks even. And while it shouldn’t need to be said, I don’t want to hear any person who fomented an insurrection using his base of mentally obese  morons, taking about “lunatics ruining the country”, either.

Nevertheless, this unwarranted feeling of needing to “protect” a gender that 172 Republicans voted against a protection act for, is classic republican hypocrisy, but that doesn’t stop the party faithful from posting garbage like this, where they take two unrelated topics, and amalgamate them into an absurd talking point:

First, while it’s an incontestable fact that Will Smith is a jackass for what he did on live television at the Oscars, it still has no bearing whatsoever in relation to the topic actually being discussed, that being the inclusion of Trans athletes into biological women’s sports. That is, unless of course, Chris Rock decides to kick being a comedian to the curb, and realize his life-long dream of trying out for the WNBA.

Speaking of the WNBA, let’s take a gander at how much Edusave believes in the sanctity of his own publicly expressed opinion regarding the protection of one of its top female players, a proud woman of color, who dared use the rights afforded to her by the Constitution  of these here United States, and see just how strong his conviction of chivalry holds when it’s applied to someone he doesn’t like:.

So much for protection, right Caesar? This sort of hypocrisy is exactly why you remain the 2nd most popular salad in America. You’re not half bad overall, but you’re also no Coleslaw either, which oddly, is the most lauded. Not only does Ms. Grenier have the right to protest this country as specifically stated within our most sacred of documents, the protection to do so has been extended to her by the same, as well.

Therefore, feel free to f**k off and go suck some eggs as you do so. It might even improve your social standing among the salad conscienti, and mythical God knows, you need all the help you can get to offset the damage you inflict upon society every time you open that ignorant maw you call a mouth.

I’ve often noted just how specifically obsessed conservatives are with the sexual practices and particular genitalia involved with such in relation to the LGBTQ community, which of course, is not peculiar at all, considering how much the very same brag about their strongly entrenched heterosexuality, but despite their consistent mewling and finger-pointing that TG’s and Gays are the true purveyors of sexual deviance, they have no problem expressing their own.

Weird, that:

Urk. It’s as if the creepiest cast member of “Porky’s”, didn’t realize the shower scene was over, and is still hanging around, looking through the peephole located just below the water spigots, hoping to catch a furtive glimpse of some future spank-bank currency. Keep in mind, this isn’t some 14-year-old boy posting this horn-dog wet-dream, it’s an adult in advanced middle-age instead, and it’s literally creepy, if not predatory, as f**k.

But please conservatives, protect our womenfolk from those ever so dangerous Transfolk. You know… when you’re done ogling them as if they were pieces of meat? After all, as we’ve already distinguished, if there’s one thing that so-called Christian middle-aged men such as Hickam, possess in bucket-loads far more than anyone else, it’s concerned respect for women:

OK. That’s just an unfortunately tasteless joke, we’ve all told those at one point or another, right? I’m sure Hickam would never make a serious inference that a woman being forced against their will to do something horrific, is somehow amusing, entertaining, or even socially acceptable. In fact, I’m sure of it:

For f**k’s sakes what the hell is wrong with these incel man-n=boys? Oh wait… just answered my own question, I think. However, I’m sure that despite his disgusting forays into grade-school immaturity, Hickam has, and this down deep inside, nothing but the finest of opinions regarding a woman’s place in society. Once again, I’m going to roll the dice, and put full faith in this assessment:

And with that, my atheism is reborn. JFC, does anybody else get the feeling that Hickam regards the “Forum” section of Penthouse Magazine as the epitome of non-fiction writing, or is it more realistic to assume that he won’t read anything that doesn’t come with a centerfold to begin with?  

But let’s not forget, these are the noble warriors who, out of sheer concern for no less than Humanity itself, are going to “protect” women from… well, obviously not the perverts who post stuff like this, that’s for damn sure. And the evidence for this, comes straight from the horse’s mouth, or to be more accurate, the horse’s ass:
I can’t even begin to tell you how secure I am in my feeling, that a person who openly brags about their lack of empathy for those that are different than themselves, should be the ones offered the role of unsolicited protectors for a gender they’ve already predetermined as being at risk of victimization, unless they step up and step in. Given that perspective, what could possibly go wrong, other than everything?

Consider me off-kilter here, but does anyone else believe that persons who obsess over the lifestyles of total strangers that don’t directly affect them one iota, in any way, shape, pr form, have the emotional capability to separate their personal discomfort from their inherent overriding sense of self-righteousness? I may be a cynical optimist, but that doesn’t mean my cynicism takes a backseat to the reality of things, either.

By way of example, let’s take a look at a random assortment of these ever so noble closeted feminists and wonder at the intellectual depth that they express in regards to one of the most pressing issues that modern-day women are currently facing, that being the right to control their own body autonomy.

First, let’s dissect the appallingly ignorant and misogynistic declaration by the widely reviled Trump boot-lick Congressman Madison Cawthorn, who once advised parents that, “if you are raising a young man, please raise them to be a monster” a suggestion that his spawning units apparently undertook as a successfully completed challenge, given his alleged sexual harassment of female classmates during his college days, has also gone on the record with his POV concerning the act of abortion, by depicting said act as, and I quote;

“Imagine you’ve just walked out of this chamber and outside is a gorgeous sunset. You have a Polaroid camera and you snap a beautiful picture, and a great photo prints out the front. You hold it and shake it, waiting for the picture to appear, but suddenly someone walks by and snatches your photo, ripping it to shreds. You’re stunned. You cry, ‘Why did you destroy my picture?’ The person replies, ‘Oh, it wasn’t a picture. It wasn’t fully developed yet.’ All of us in this room realize how asinine that reasoning is.

{Yes, we DO realize just how asinine your analogy is, but please continue, Wheelchair Hitler.]

That photo was transforming into a beautiful image. This illustration by Seth Gruber is simple, but it’s what our nation has done to the most precious image of all- the image of God. A silent genocide has slipped beneath the conscience of America. Precious works of our creator, formed and set apart, meet death before they breathe life. Eternal souls woven into earthen vessels sanctified by almighty God and endowed with the miracle of life are denied their birth by a nation that was born in freedom.”

Other than the fact that the very idea of a partially-paralyzed Cawthon talking about abortion is akin to his lecturing the able-bodied on how to successfully run a marathon, this just may be, for my money, about as close as one can get to calling women mindless livestock, without using the actual words to do so.

I’d go one step further, and opine that if our uterus-lacking incel here truly regards women as no more than mere empty vessels eagerly awaiting his obviously deficient swimmers, the only jar he’ll be making a consensual deposit in, is the one left over from his making himself a PB&J sandwich, quietly eaten over the sink in his studio apartment. But this definitive reality aside, Cawthon is hardly standing alone whereas his mewling misogyny is concerned.

While this is to be expected, it’s also a given that the people spreading this Caveman cravenness, are also the ones stereotypically crowing about just how much of a dedicated advocate they are for Women’s rights in general, To kick off this assertion of mine, let’s start with this fine example of nuanced  subtlety, courtesy of one Dominic Romero, who, as we will soon see whereas the noble cause of Women’s body autonomy is concerned, is analogous to what Parkinson’s Disease represents for those who defuse landmines for a living:

Now on the surface, this doesn’t seem like an arrogant declaration at all, nor does it strike me as an unreasonable expectation, either. But leave it to an Usher of the Uterine to take a moment of rationality, drag it out back behind the woodshed, and pump two bullets into it, Ol’ Yeller style:
Yup ladies. While it may take “Two to Tango” as it were, in the end, your getting pregnant is still all your fault. How could you possibly not know that already? After all, haven’t we men been telling you that since you were born? We didn’t, you say? Oops. Our bad. I could have sworn we covered it in the meetings you’re not allowed to attend.

Sure, there may not be a single law on the books that regulate men’s bodies, but rest assured, we’ll happily instruct you as to what you can (and cannot) do with yours, and if you’re as smart as you think you are, you’ll pay attention for once. Besides, you can’t expect a guy to be accountable, can you? That’s like so unrealistic.

In fact, Romere here, ever the gracious gentleman, even has some visionary ideas for future provisions regarding your inability to keep your whorish legs closed, and as expected, no such rules will be applied to any of the men you so foolishly allowed to enter your gated community, because… “reasons”, I guess:

Is this a fresh take on hypocritically arrogant chauvinism or what? Truly, an inspiring idea- let’s punish women for daring to choose their own lives over the one we’ve falsely ascribed to a clump of cells that can’t live outside of its host, so that later on, we can demonize the mother for having a child that we won’t give a damn about once it’s born.

Even if it does lead to an ever-expanding cycle of poverty and proves to be a crippling burden on our society at large, isn’t that worth the price others will have to pay, just so that a bunch of uterus-deprived demagogues can feel morally superior? Of course, it is. After all, isn’t it the natural order of things that these wannabe Plaster Blasters are the ones who run Bartertown?

In the impotent world that alleged Neandertals like Romero drag their knuckles through, men are infallible, and women are always at fault, irrespective of the actual facts at hand. Notice by the way, he also puts no responsibility for an unintended pregnancy on the men involved, as by doing so, he’d have to openly acknowledge their culpability as well- a fact he obviously hates to discuss

Adding further insult to injury, Romero’s suggestion that prescribed birth control is the ultimate panacea for the abortion issue is disingenuous as hell, when you take into account that not only does the political party he supports openly thwarts access to such, it goes out of its way as well, to harass both the clinics that provide it, and the public education programs that teach the essentials concerning its proper use.

However, Romero does have a keen insight on just why women want to keep abortion legal, and astonishingly, it has nothing to do with the very real issues of personal choice as to one’s unwillingness to be a possibly impoverished mother, and most certainly, it has nothing whatsoever to do with making sure women don’t die from the once-practiced back-alley methods, either.

Nope. In Romero’s estimation, it’s all due to women’s love of… you know what? I’m just going to let this jackasses memes and comments speak for themselves, because if I have to actually transcribe it onto the pixilated page, I might just feel the need to go drink hand sanitizer until my soul feels clean again:
There is, I dare say, much to unpack here, is there not? Not only do we have barely retrained passive-aggressive slut-shaming, (a cultural penance applied only to women) there’s also chauvinistic ignorance, spiteful jealously, and a roiling undercurrent of seething hatred regarding the societal freedom currently granted to strongly independent, if not sexually confident, women as well.

If I didn’t know better, I’d have to assume that Romero’s favorite phrase after calling such women he doesn’t know “whores”, is the classic demand that they get their asses back in the kitchen where they belong, and get to stepping making him a sandwich, like yesterday. Obviously, I’m kidding of course, because even though Romero comes off as a sexist case of walking whiskey-dick, I’m sure he has nothing but the deepest of respect for those women who are married:Or maybe not. I really need to start listening to my gut more, and far less to Mr. Rogers, I think.

Reading this asinine immaturity, you might think that Romero is in his early 20’s, and therefore, doesn’t know any better. Unfortunately for society, the only correlation Romero has to the low 20’ss is the charting numbers of his assumed IQ, which is even more disturbing, when you realize that both he and I could have a conversation about the early days of MTV, and not have to explain to each other any of the cultural references that are sure to be made.

Thankfully, despite all of his blatant sexism, his impotent rage regarding women who dare not notice him, and his failed attempts at placing the blame (as it were) for the necessity of abortion solely on women alone, Romero does offer us yet one last fresh take towards solving what he regards as a societal abomination for the greater good. And trust me, it’s just as insane as you might think:
I’m gonna make a recommendation here- if Romero really wants to make this fever-dream of his a reality, I’d suggest that he ups the stakes somewhat, and offers an enticement that no sane woman could ever refuse. For every woman he can successfully convert into a Transperson, ten more who don’t, would no longer have to listen to his rants, his ignorance, or meet his leering gaze in public, ever again.

Think about it. He gets to see the number of American abortions reduced, the transformed women never have to be subjected to his directly-targeted sexist behavior ever again, and the chances of his efficaciously breeding without the aid of his mom’s credit card and a case of tequila, are knocked down to less than zero, so quite literally, everyone involved walks away with a definitive win.

However, for young Tommy Adcock here, who just so happens to be our next contender in this ongoing Battle of The Sexist, the very idea of a woman transforming herself past what he considers an acceptable limit, is something that he personally can’t abide:
Ah, misogynists… you never fail in your quest to consistently remind some women why every now and then, a shower massager is really worth the money they invested in it. Anybody else noticing a pattern here? As the old joke goes; “A Slut is a woman who f**ks a lot of guys, but if she won’t f**k you, then it’s obvious that she’s just a Bitch”, and my gut instinct here, tells me that Tommy knows far more bitches, then he does sluts.

Let’s just call it an educated hunch, and leave it at that.

Nevertheless, Adcock, much like Romero did, brings a truly unexpected twist on an old Pro-Choice refrain, that being the consensus that no man male should have a say whatsoever in the regulation or even the discussion, of the legality of abortion, a position I fully support, with the lone exception being the father of said to be aborted child weighing in, and even then – the ultimate decision to carry to term or not, should still rest without question on the shoulders of the one who’ll actually be doing the work.

But whereas Romero’s detestable opinion was mired in the roots of his own stunning ignorance, Adcock’s seem to be fueled by the most insane of supplications, that being… what the heck, once again, I’ll just let this f**king moron speak for himself:

For the record, when any democrat of note refers to a man getting pregnant, it’s in relation to Trans-women who’ve transitioned ideologically, rather than physically, and these Fallopian f**k tards know this, but selectively choose to ignore this inconvenient factoid, because let’s face it- faux outrage requires a villain, and what better fallback is there than choosing one that you can “prove’ is an idiot?

To be fair, their knowledge of Trans-physiology is as well-informed as their knowledge of what constitutes the actual presence of sentient and sustainable Life, but I digress for now, as I literally don’t have the patience to explain to these fanciers of the Fetus, a concept that they failed to grasp in middle school.

I don’t believe that I have to point this scientifically established detail yet again, but until a developing fetus can survive OUTSIDE OF THE WOMB, it is not, and never has been, a “child” in the traditional sense of the word. Man, it’s painful to admit, but Tommy was so much cooler when he used to play that silver ball, versus hitting that silver pipe, as he seems to be doing now.

Just keep this almost unimportant detail in mind, boys and especially the girls, these are the men who swear that they will “protect you” from the “perversion” that is modern-day Transgenderism. I’m sure that must bring you a great deal of personal comfort, am I right?

Well, as the saying goes: “It takes one to know one”, and to that end, as well as serving as a conduit to wrapping up this screed, may I present to you yet again, the misogynist’s Great White Dope, Wayne Robert Hickam, whom we had the displeasure of meeting a few passages ago.

Before I post some of Hickam’s further adventures in showcasing just what happened to that kid in your grade school who spent most of his time trying to look up your skirt, I’d remind you all again, that this gag-inducing gargoyle, is one of your future “protectors”. So… good luck with that.

Seriously. Because you’re going to need all the luck you can get:

Isn’t it strange, that for people who consistently claim to be more moral than most of their political contemporaries, the very same sure do spend a lot of time making the air festering around them exceedingly creepy, do they not? Other than the fact that a part of my 70’s-era childhood just vomited before hanging itself with Snoopy’s leash, I’d like to point out that in the “Peanuts” comics, these kids representational age is widely accepted as being around four.

Read that again… FOUR YEARS OLD. As in, not adults. Kids. You know, the fragile demographic that conservatives screech shouldn’t know anything about sex until they’re much older? I can only assume from the willing posting of this pedophilic-based humor, that apparently, the division responsible for the crafting of vile fellatio jokes didn’t get that particular memo in time, evermore the pity.

We’ve already seen that Hickam’s sense of intellectual humor (so-called) hovers somewhere around the IQ equivalency of an overflowing septic tank, but even for him, this is truly disgusting, no matter how you look at it. But leave it to this walking shallow end of the gene pool, to take the putrid, and ferment it into an even more reprehensible form, as he manages to do here, without a shred of regretful awareness:

Take a good look at this image. Just how old do you think those two girls on the end are? Fourteen? Fifteen, tops? And this guy and the others of his ilk, seriously consider themselves morally superior to those who’ve done nothing worth noting as nefarious, save past finally embracing their truth? Get the f**k out of here with that bulls**t, bro.

I say this with all due seriousness- Hickam strikes me as the type of guy that if you saw him sitting quietly by himself, just outside the boundaries of a shopping malls’ play-area, you’d instinctively ask it’s rent-a-cops mall cop to have him kicked out, even if it was only to err on the side of caution. Who in their right middle-aged mind, would even begin to find this amusing or appropriate? And yes, this was pointed out to him, albeit by someone who seems equally nonplussed by it:

Maybe Hickam is truly young in his metaphorical heart, but without exception, he also appears to be far sicker in the head, as a rule. Move along folks… nothing to see here except the possibility of a future cautionary tale forming right before our very own eyes. I used to wonder where alleged deviants like this were manufactured, but nowadays, I’m of the belief that it’s less of a design flaw as I once assumed, and more of a societal mutation that’s been taking place.

At this time, it’s pretty much past the concept of a demonstrable theorem, that anytime a Conservative deigns to point a finger at a Liberal, the remaining nine are not only pointing back at themselves, but wildly signaling for help as well.

Think of just how many GQPer’s you’ve heard about, doing the exact opposite of what they claim is their moral center: hypocrites who inflict hypocrisy, racists who claim racism is imaginary while spewing it, homophobes who get caught having homosexual affairs, American patriots who idolize foreign dictators, and in a twist that everybody saw coming, self-declared anti-pedophiles who engage in pedophiliac behavior, while claiming to carry the very spirit of Jesus and his teachings, inside their hearts.

It’s no secret that America has a multitude of issues; income and racial inequality, sexism, a range of revolting phobias based in a willful ignorance targeting disparate elements religious, cultural, and societal, but JFC… the bulls**it inflicted upon this country by its most extreme political faction, has to be directly and openly, addressed before we all find ourselves living in the dystopian landscape of a Mad Max flick.

Don’t get me wrong, I could easily rock the tire-shoulder-pads and assless chaps aesthetic of the proverbial Wasteland, but I see no need to do so, if it’s at all possible to turn our collective ship away from the intellectually-void iceberg field that the reprehensible Alt-right demands this country venture into.

Don’t get me wrong, I could easily rock the tire-shoulder-pads and assless chaps aesthetic of the proverbial Wasteland, but I see no need to do so, if it’s at all possible to turn our collective ship away from the intellectually-void iceberg field that the reprehensible Alt-right demands this country venture into. The time to act was actually yesterday, but that doesn’t mean we still can’t act now, to rend their divisiveness limb to limb as we should, and endeavor to mend the torn fabric of our American spirit.

Hate is a choice. Willful ignorance is a choice. Racism, Sexism, Homophobia, Islamophobia, Fear of the Other are all choices, both corrosive and cravenly. And not only must these aberrations of the soul be stopped with no hope given to their further advance, the retreat back into the darkness from which they sprang, must be a mandatory aspect as well.

No quarter given. No prisoners taken. No mercy bestowed. A policy of scorched earth, and salted water. Because if we as a society, do not fulfill the founding promise of this country as a haven to all, regardless of creed, color, culture, or community, then the person who composed this monstrosity for public dissemination, and the ones detestably and ideologically aligned with him, will set the ruling standard for not only the seasoned and mature among us…

… but for future generations as well, and I for one, am not going to let persons I wouldn’t want to be sharing a 30-second elevator ride with, dictate just who gets to be what, in the country that’s always been based on the bedrock of personal freedom. So, to the slithering mass of meandering and mentally obese mouth-breathers both depicted here and currently lurking in the shadows of the Internet, I offer some free and gracious counsel, if I may.

Not only is the LGBTQ Community not going back in the closet so that you can feel comfortable, and along those lines, no one is going to convert to your sociopathic religion, for the same reason, either. And as for that whole schtick of yours in concern to “protecting” the fairer sex from the realities of the world entire?

The only deviants, (as some here within this screed have proven) that women need to be sheltered from, are the men who arrogantly believe that they were chartered to undertake this unnecessary role in the first place. Try teaching your sons to not harass, sexually assault and degrade women first, before you worry about an alternative lifestyle community that at worst, may complement their shoes, long before they do anything even remotely and heterosexually violent.

Keep this thought in mind as you go to sleep tonight- your cravenly impotent brood just declared war on two of the most dedicated to multitasking demographics on the planet, who, both as individuals and as a tight-knit community, have faced even the most ardent of challenges your gender has thrown at them, and they’ve survived them all.

Despite your attitude borne out of testosterone and supreme overconfidence. I can assure you, that this was most definitely not the wisest of chess moves. This erroneous conclusion that you will succeed given enough time, in and of itself, was quite the stupid one, and I’ll tell you why.

Women, whom as a general rule of thumb, are best never trifled with, will be coming for your pointy little skulls sooner than later, and given the fact that they’ve been removing the evidence of a literally equivalent crime scene once a month, since the age of 13 or so, hiding your bodies is gonna be a walk in the park for the majority of them. And as for that remaining aspect of Transgenderism that some of you think will eventually breed itself out of existence?

If the women are collectively coming for your skulls, what part of your anatomy do you think that the TG municipality will be desiring as recompense for all of your abominable and hateful trans-gressions (pun definitely intended) against them and the ones that they love?

See, what’s really going on here, isn’t the fact that these demagogues fear what the LGBTQ community will do to women and their related interests, what they truly fear, is the limited possibility that said comm unity will perceive and treat them in very much the same way that they’ve gotten accustomed to treating women. Food for thought, and all that happy jazz.

So… good luck with that, because you’re definitely gonna need it.

And with that, we’re done for now, methinks. But when we come back, I’ll be dipping my metaphorical toes into the ocean of Conservative Intellectualism, and coming out completely bone-dry.

-FINI-

 

“It is not an overstatement to say that the destiny of the entire human race depends on what is going on in America today. This is a staggering reality to the rest of the world; they must feel like passengers in a supersonic jetliner who are forced to watch helplessly while a passel of drunks, hypes, freaks, and madmen fight for the controls and the pilot’s seat.”  – Eldridge Cleaver, Soul on Ice, 1968