Wayne Michael Reich

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Dope Springs Infernal PT.2 (Herald of Hypocrisy.)

“Atheists have not produced so much evil as hypocrites have produced, or even simply those who preached God without being prepared for Him, daring to pronounce His name with unsanctified lips.” – Nikolai Gogol

Greetings, Bitchiteers!

Is today not a splendidly wonderful day? The birds are singing, the sun is shining, the clouds are ever so puffy, and Rush Limbaugh is still dead. Truly, a glorious diurnal all around, if I do say myself, and I do. In fact, I’m in such a good mood, I may even try to get through this, my newest of screeds, without once referencing Milla Jovovich, Ding Dongs, or my dual hatred of both Nickelback, and the malevolent scourge that is the “Renegade Cut” of “Highlander II: The Quickening”.

Please note that I did clearly, say “try”. After all, I’m only human, and a good joke is still a good joke, no matter how many times you’re retreaded it. And if you don’t believe me, just ask Chad Kroeger, the lead singer of Nickelback, who’s literally cloned the same guitar riff so many times, that the Ethics Committee of the American Society for Reproductive Medicine, has started sending him cease and desist letters.

As I stated in my earlier disclaimer, I did say that I would “try”, did I not?  And if once again, you think that I’m being overly harsh to Kroeger and Company, just keep in mind that the informational tidbit I’m about to present is not a joke- somebody high up in the Canadian government feels just as I do, and saw the usefulness of taking the dreck that is Nickelback’s musical catalogue, and weaponized it for the greater good:

What this relates to, is the story that the Canadian-based Kensington Police Service, recently threatened to punish drunken driving suspects by playing Nickelback in their squad cars, which I am sure on some level, just has to be a blatant violation of the Nuremberg Code.

Sometimes, you just have to accept that your personal character is not nearly as strong as you think it is, and just learn how to deal with the fallout of such. But sadly, this is a lesson that some, despite repeated exposure to the sageness of its teachings, never seem to learn.

Like this prime example of what happens,when a discount knock-off Bible mates with a displaced cave troll, and then leaves the resulting baby outside of a Trump rally, relying on the faint hope that the White Supremacists gathered inside, will find the Hellspawn, and raise it as if it were one of their own:

Ladies and Gentlemen, may I have the pleasure of introducing you all. to one James Ray Springs: proud Oklahoman. Loyal American Patriot. Slavishly devoted MAGAt. Also, balding.

And as you’d expect from the descriptors listed above, a 100% full-on Cafeteria Christian, to boot.

Weird how those always seem to go together, isn’t it?

But James is so much more than your stereotypical Trumpanzee, as you shall come to see. If anything, he’s the poster boy for just why it’s so necessary to fund both public education, if not access to birth control.

And he proves it almost every time he posts, which fortunately for me, is often.

Now, I will admit that as a rule, I really do enjoy what I do for both personal relaxation and profit, and when it comes to punching metaphorical holes in the floor of the bloviating boat that is modern-day conservatism, nothing makes me happier than finding an undiscovered reservoir of Republican abominableness, and James here, easily provides that without even breaking a sweat.

I swear on all that is unholy, that when the receipts are finally tabulated, I’m gonna bet that this twat-waffling Trumptard may just be the most productive moron that I’ve ever written about, save for my prior literary endeavors featuring two of my favorite human scratching posts, *Ken Cykala and *Ruth Darlene Seawolf, and both of those, clueless as they are, were stallions when it came to the propagating of conservative density. *[Check out the AB “Archive”]

But when it comes to Spring, he’s truly special. Protective headgear and short-bus privileges all the way, and I honestly do mean that as a compliment. Until he came across my radar, I didn’t know, or even believe, that I could enjoy a literal walking personification of a bumper sticker, half as much as I do him.

Like a Super-Walmart based in Hell, Spring offers it all, and at a far below retail price: Racism, Misogyny, Transphobia, Homophobia, Xenophobia, Conspiracy Theories, intrusive Pro-Life ideology, Cultural Distrust, and my personal favorite, absurdly blatant religious hypocrisy, which if I were to gush over anything he does, seems to be Spring’s masterwork in legacy building: .

Sigh… as you will see, Spring’s main forte is to get things wrong- sometimes by degrees, but typically, when he does so, he misses the point not by miles, but by literal galaxies. If NASA ever gave him the keys to Artemis, and told him to land on Mars, this twit would find himself floating dead-smack in the center of HD-1 I instead, and most likely, would be ranting about the aliens already living there..

To note, not believing in a celestial sky-daddy, is not, and I repeat, NOT “nihilistic”. It is, in my most humble of opinions, both logical and sane, considering that said deity Spring espouses, is at best, a mercurial sociopathic sadist, who inconsistently tortures and then purposefully ignores, his supposedly most valued of creations, when they beseech him for help.

And if you want to talk about “dark concepts” Jimmy Ray, I’d love to hear how the instructing of perceptive morality, using a Bronze-Age tome that not only at times, contradicts itself, but which also contains numerously graphic accounts of actions both abominable and sadistic, will ever produce an outcome that wouldn’t be eventually classified by a trained psychologist as “f**ked-up beyond belief”, in the end.

Shockingly, immersing a suggestable child in an ideology of truly lurid so-called “morality tales” based on Genocide, Racism, Slavery, Torture, Misogyny, Sodomy, Incest, Rape, Murder, and the forbidding of the consumption of a really good Shrimp boil, falls far short of humanizing the experience of seeing the majesty and wonder of the world as it actually is. 

And yet, when given those parameters, this is the vision that you want firmly implanted in their minds, instead?

Yup. That’s not the second-worst form of child abuse at all. But having the sheer audacity to inform the same child that God is a myth, religion is a blatantly transparent cancer, and that magical thinking is bulls**t?

Well, just sit back, and watch the Cafeteria Christian Cabal break out the guillotines for the Atheists, light a bonfire for their science books, and declare that it’s really the heathens who are the real danger to our society at large.

Fortunately for the necessary continuance of sanity, if not our societal unity in general, modern-day Religion is dying agonizingly slow on the vine, and ironically, the mythical and wholly sociopathic sky-daddy himself, can be credited for being the primary factor leading to its demise. And in my opinion, the fault-line for such, starts forming at the launch of the sales pitch:

“Hey there everybody, for those of you not in the know, our Supreme father, AKA “God” has these ten supposedly unbreakable rules, but they’re kind of arbitrary at times depending on his ever-so-mercurial will, and if you fail to spend your entire life on your knees thanking him for cursing you with the taint of the original sin that was actually all his fault, he’s going to send you to a place replete with personalized torture, endless pain, and the joy of eternally swimming the backstroke in a boiling lake of fire.

Oh, and even if you were a bad person for let’s say, only half of your life, you’re still going to be stuck there until the stars burn out, because that’s how the Big Guy likes to show both his Love for you, and his penchant for practicing the art of sheer overkill, mixed with unrealistic and unobtainable expectations.”

Now, while this appeals to some people as a desirable lifestyle choice for some as yet, unfathomable reason, those of us whose brains still work the way Nature intended them to, are usually the first ones in line to say; “No thanks. I’ll take a seriously hard pass on that bullspit”. While I can accept the fact that Faith in and of itself, can be a wonderfully powerful force for good, I tend to lose that optimism when I discover that it’s been encased within the scurrilous shell that is modern-day organized Religion.

And as we shall come to see, when the allegorical reins are placed in the hands of a mewling hypocrite like Spring, it only serves to remind the sane walking among us, just what a crock the belief in the Celestial, really is.

The same people who conceitedly declare that they wouldn’t dare condescend to consult with psychics, mediums and the gateway to satanic values that is a Ouija board, are also the same persons who will tell you in the same breath and without a trace of irony, that they only take counsel from God, whom they’ve never seen, never heard, and have never met.

Case in point, courtesy of Spring himself:

Take all the time you need to process this inadvertent satire. And as you engage in the saddest of pauses after accepting the fact, that the people who espouse this garbage, don’t see the evident contradictions within it, take heart in the reality that their Age of Ignorance is coming to its long overdue end, and as it does, faux Christians such as Spring, will hopefully become as culturally relevant as an 8-track player, or even worse, a Microsoft Zune.

Speaking only for myself, I have never understood how anyone who supposedly puts stock in the “lessons” purportedly ensconced within the Bible, can consciously ignore the modern-day incongruity it raises. Take the story to be found in Genesis 11:1-9, which describes the arrogant folly of the Tower of Babel, which men built in a futile attempt to reach heaven from their earthbound confines.

To note; “And the whole earth was of one language, and of one speech. And it came to pass, as they journeyed from the east, that they found a plain in the land of Shinar; and they dwelt there. And they said one to another, Go to, let us make brick, and burn them thoroughly. And they had brick for stone, and slime had they for mortar.

And they said, Go to, let us build us a city and a tower, whose top may reach unto heaven; and let us make us a name, lest we be scattered abroad upon the face of the whole earth. And the Lord came down to see the city and the tower, which the children of men builded. And the Lord said, Behold, the people is one, and they have all one language; and this they begin to do: and now nothing will be restrained from them, which they have imagined to do.

Go to, let us go down, and there confound their language, that they may not understand one another’s speech. So the Lord scattered them abroad from thence upon the face of all the earth: and they left off to build the city. Therefore is the name of it called Babel; because the Lord did there confound the language of all the earth: and from thence did the Lord scatter them abroad upon the face of all the earth.”

In essence, God saw the humans encroaching on his front yard, and in a supreme act of petty celestial suburbanism, threw a spanner into their works, instead. So, if we hold to the lesson of the danger in trying to reach the underside of heaven via an earthbound tower, then why is God not seemingly as vexed by our building an international space station that in theory, occupies the space above it?

An installation by the way, whose very existence and research mission statement alone, proves consistently that God is indeed, no more than a myth akin to boogeymen, the Tooth Fairy, the Easter Bunny, and a good X-Men movie.

But it’s not all bad news for the fantastical, as Santa is still very real, and I know this to be true, because I see him every December hanging out at my local mall. Granted, he can never remember my name, but let’s be fair here- he is quite up there on the age scale, so minor memory slips are bound to happen.

If I were so pessimistically bold, I’d even opine that most Christians only believe in God, because the thought of a Heaven occupied by only people such as themselves, is a salve to the fact that down here on earth, we hold their actions and words to account. And of course, Spring is more than happy to let us all know (me specifically) exactly whom gets to be lounging on a cloud, and who gets to be Satan’s chew-toy;

While it’s obvious that I’m fairly dismissive of the sincerity of Spring’s alleged faith, I’d also like to point out that deep inside, I’m also somewhat envious of his assurance in expressing it as devout, despite all evidence to the contrary. In addition, I would also like to note that Spring’s interpretation of the Rapture is somewhat philosophically imperfect, as in my opinion, an Earth free of religious hypocritical extremists like himself, would indeed be as close to Heaven as my atheist mind can visualize.

In spite of the fact that as a rule, I tend to consider myself a person gifted (and oft-cursed) with a sense of supreme personal self-assurance, I can readily assure you all, that it’s nowhere near the level of Spring’s, which overall, reminds me of a meme I once saw:

And I must admit, even with my eye of cynicism fully open, that in a way, Spring is Batman; dark, brooding, and most likely, spending a great deal of his free time sitting in a cave, obsessing over the things he cannot change, such as women being allowed to have their own opinions, and African-Americans daring to do White people stuff unimpeded, in public.

In my last screed, I briefly touched upon Spring’s inherent misogyny and racism, in lieu of his so-called Christian values without providing a solid base for my opinion, but now it’s time for a few examples, methinks. To start us off, let’s tackle conservatives favorite sport, attempting to control women, and as you’d expect from a guy who needs to feel like an alpha, he knows not only what’s best for women, but what’s really going on in regards to modern-day feminism, as well:

I tells ya’, there’s nothing like having a guy in his seventies, mansplaining to woman unknown to him, what the true issues are in relation to their ongoing fight for unfettered female body autonomy. And as a bonus, he’s also more than happy to offer some unsolicited advice from his faux ivory tower as well:

I won’t speak for you of course, but as Spring displays his inherent suaveness by crassly suggesting that it’s the women who need to close their legs, you can just feel the love of Jesus rolling off this guy, as if he were dipped in AXE sanctimonious-scented body spray.

I do love the mixed message that Spring is promoting here though: if you make the decision to have an abortion, you’re a stone-cold murderer, but if you choose to have the kid, then you’re noth9ng less than a societal leech, and a whore, as well.

Damn. It must be so nice to sit on both sides of the metaphorical morality table, and still claim the mantle of prideful and unwarranted self-righteousness. However, we shouldn’t dwell on the past, because Spring is already doing that for us, as only he can:

Just grace and elegance”. And also, if you remember, an incontestable sense of anticipated subservience to the reigning patriarchal attitudes of the era. But our man Spring here, the obviously ardent Feminist, was thoughtful enough to issue a contemptuous observation about what aspects of femininity, women need to regain in his unasked for, and wholly erroneous, opinion.

You’ll notice by the way, that Spring didn’t remark upon what men in general need to do to better themselves, as once again, it’s all on the women whether they like it or not. Nevertheless, I appreciate that the first thing that Spring referenced was the importance of looks, and not strength of character, intellect, or personal ambitions, qualities which I’m sure in Soring’s world, are regarded as highly inconvenient, if not emasculating.

The irony here though, is that Spring, the self-declared adversary of Botox, silicone and all things torn, once posted this sexist tripe masquerading as political commentary, because in his cravenly chauvinistic worldview, the dumber the woman, the better it is for his cuckolded kind.

Now, before I reduce this asinine comparison to bloody shreds, I’d like to thank Spring for his almost godlike ability to set up the joke for me. I

n most cases when I’m writing about somebody as allegedly awful as Spring appears to be, I actually have to do a lot of behind-the-scenes work, such as extensive research, meticulous checking for accuracy, and let us never forget, the metaphorical heavy lifting involved in just getting my pixilated observations on the path to being crafted into a workable story.

It can be at times, maddening, depressing. exhausting, and stressful as frak, but when you take into account that Spring’s inadvertent setup was perfect for my eventual retort, it’s all worth it:

But Spring isn’t done quite yet with his mansplaining traveling show. After all, as a man of the Faith, it’s apparently his job as well, to instruct the women he doesn’t know how to properly carry themselves in public, even if he doesn’t feel the need to do the same for the men that they may encounter while doing so:.

Has anyone else noticed that it’s always the sole responsibility of women to dress modestly? To be the ones who have to walk back to their car parked on a dark street, with the keys splayed between their fingers, or to carry mace? To create a “safe phrase’ if they’re being harassed in a bar, where they’re also not allowed to get too drunk, because if they do, and wind up getting sexually assaulted due to being vulnerable, then they’ll be told that they were “asking for it”?

And my personal favorite: if a woman finds herself pregnant, you hardly ever hear commentary about the man that shirked his responsibility, it’s always the woman’s fault for “not being careful”, or “choosing the wrong guy to f**k”, despite the reality that it takes two to tango as it were, but society only likes to assign blame to the one person who’s already dancing backward to begin with.

Once again, it must be so nice to sit on both sides of the metaphorical morality table, and still claim the mantle of prideful and unwarranted self-righteousness, when it’s the male gender that inarguably, creates the problematic societal fear that women overall, are forced to deal with on a daily basis.

That fear by the way, which runs the gamut from the anticipation of unwanted advances to the aforementioned apprehension of being sexually assaulted, are seemingly of no real concern to Spring, who in a truly sickening act of crass chauvinism, reduces such valid anxieties into nothing more than an opening to launch a thoughtless infliction of a tastelessly abhorrent “joke” decrying them, instead:

For the life of me, I have no idea why anybody would ever doubt that this guy wasn’t a true “Child of God”, can you? Other than the fact that Spring displays both the intellectual maturity of a mentally-challenged penile implant, and the warmth afforded to an unprepared speculum, it’s almost like standing next to Christ himself, is it not?

For the record, the abominable and dehumanizing act of rape is not, I repeat, NOT based on the physical attractiveness of the victim to be, it’s based on opportunity, access, and control of said allegorical prey. I cannot believe that I even have to express this in print, but the scars of sexual assault, both attempted and achieved, go far beyond what Spring flippantly (if not repulsively) describes as “optimism”.

No James, “optimism” is what you have, in assuming that every female within your unfortunate orbit, isn’t acutely aware that you’re a nattering Neanderthal at best, and an allegedly passive supporter of sexual assault, at worst.

But here’s where Spring takes a turn for the weird. Despite his predilection for “advising’ women who didn’t ask him for such invasive input on how they should act, dress, fornicate, plan a family, and ignore the threat of being raped if they’re considered unattractive, he also wants them to know that he’s also not “one of those guys’, either

But just to make sure that he himself, in no way, shape or form, could ever be considered as “creepy”, Spring offers some additional and wholly unsolicited societal guidance to the women validly upset that their body autonomy rights are being taken away, with a sage suggestion that only a truly non-creepy septuagenarian would ever make.

And in the act of doing so, proves that despite his avowal of supporting a woman’s right to not be harassed online or in general, he is most definitely indeed, “one of those guys”:

If there was ever a possibility that genital warts could ever be granted the privilege of sentience, and then additionally gifted with both ambulatory ability and internet access, my gut tells me it would look very akin to the visage that Spring here presents, when he’s out and about in public.

Because along with believing that so-called “ugly” women have nothing to fear from dedicated rapists, he also espouses that women in general, shouldn’t be concerned with the equally valid worry of losing their body autonomy as well. And why is that?

Well, because of the Transgender community, of course!
Yes, this is a stupid statement. And yes, Spring is quite the stupid man. But no, he actually does know what he’s doing here, even if he doesn’t know what he’s actually saying. Like most neocons, Spring is deliberately taking two unrelated topics that he proudly knows nothing about, and is amalgamating them, in older to draw attention away from whatever topic was actually being discussed, before he did so.

A classic case of a “Bait and Switch” gambit, except that now in this modern-age, it would be far more accurate to describe it as more of a “Hate and Bitch” maneuver, instead. It’s one of the oldest go-to conservative tricks in the book, and the reason why Spring tends to use it so much, is probably because he was actually there when it was first written down,

In Sumerian. On the back of a freshly-killed Trilobite.

As you may have gathered after reading my last screed, Spring, along with being a misogynistic faux Christian and a soon to be proven bigot of no small reputation, also possesses quite the hate-on for the LGBTQ Community as well, which is yet another reprehensible aspect of his disturbingly f**ked-up character. Now. while I won’t be readdressing that topic just yet, I will, be revisiting it, if only to fully flesh out just what a heretical hypocrite Spring truly is.

Speaking of which…

Let’ me notate if I may, one of the Conservative movement’s favorite pastimes, that being the spewing of vitriolic venom at the entire Clinton political dynasty, despite Bill not being President since 2001, his wife Hillary not being culturally relevant since 2017, and their daughter Chelsea, who at the time of this writing, now works with the Clinton Foundation and Clinton Global Initiative, both of which are centered on providing solutions to some of the world’s most pressing concerns.

But just as Rush Limbaugh once so despicably did on his TV show where he inferred that Chelsea was “the White House Dog”, Conservatives love going after the children of the people they can’t even begin to touch. By the way, Chelsea was only 12, and Rush three decades her senior, when he made his revolting remarks, which just goes to show that the only people that the Alt-Wrong can take on comfortably, are the defenseless and the underaged.

And no matter how much you may want one, you’re still not getting a Matt Gaetz joke out of me.

Now to be fair, the elder Clintons have both had their share of valid political scandals, Bill with the Paula Jones and Monica Lewinsky sex scandals that almost sank his presidency, and Hillary with her own private email server scandal in 2015, but as to the rest of the so-called “Scandals” [Whitewater, Vince Foster’s suicide, Uranium One, Filegate, Benghazi, and Travelgate] they’ve all  fizzled out, much like Rush Limbaugh’s hateful little heart once so charitably did, on that wonderful evening in February of 2021.

And it pisses Conservatives off something fierce, because in spite of their declarations that they believe in the concept of Law and Order, [See; “January Sixth, 2021”] nothing makes them madder than when an avowed democrat walks away from a supposed scandal, while their guys get tagged for the same.

For instance, they’ll crow about Bill’s adultery, but ignore Trumps history of such. They’ll talk about Hilary’s missing emails, but purposefully overlook the hundreds of thousands that Bush Jr and Dick Cheney deleted in regards to the pointless war in Iraq. They’ll screech about Hunter Biden, but you guessed it, forget that Trump’s kids, Don Jr, Ivanka, and Eric, even exist.

Although for the sake of accuracy, so does Trump himself from time to time, depending on his need for either a scapegoat, an ass-kissing, or in Ivanka’s case, when he requires a special daughter-daddy lap dance to ease his rapidly fraying nerves.

Even when said “scandal” was proven beyond doubt to be a false and cherry-picked narrative, an overblown assessment, or wholly imaginary to begin with, such as “Obamagate”, the neocon nutbars just keep swimming forward, delightfully unimpeded by either the clarity of logic or even the faintest twinge of guilt in concern to failing their alleged humanity.

And Spring is no maverick when it comes to this worn out cliché, if anything, he’s a self-castrated gelding, dutifully following the party line in referencing a situational joke that went cold ten minutes after it was first created:

Delightful witticism, isn’t it? Especially coming from a self-declared “Man of God”, who apparently has forgotten the lesson of Ephesians 5:3-4: “But sexual immorality and all impurity or covetousness must not even be named among you, as is proper among saints. Let there be no filthiness nor foolish talk NOR CRUDE JOKING, which are out of place, but instead let there be thanksgiving.”

I can only guess Spring must have overlooked those wise words, in his never-ending quest to find the perfect blowjob joke regarding a political situation that nobody has discussed in over two decades.

If in the future, Spring desires to craft one that’s relevant (somewhat) he can always build upon the humor that while Trump had to pay 130K to a porn star to get the briefest of hummers, Spring, the ever so willingly loyal sycophant, most likely would have taken the task on for free. 

And no, I won’t be apologizing for that observational assessment anytime soon or even in the far-off future, given the empirical evidence of Spring’s willingness to happily swallow whatever bulls**t buffet Trump and the utterly complicit GQP, feed him.

By all known and I might add, self-posted evidence, Spring’s favorite repasts are those that serve up Racism as the appetizer, soup, main dish, and dessert. In fact, next to Spring’s almost pro-bulimic-level discharging of faux Christianity upon the unfortunate within his reach, this may be the next most vomitous mass that he truly enjoys disgorging in public. To start us off down the intolerant path of Spring’s mélange of mass-manufactured racial paranoia, I present this asinine foretaste of the things yet to come::

On the surface, while these are terrible tragedies, the narrative attached to both, is only half-true.

While Floyd was indeed, a career criminal, he was not “resisting arrest” when he died, as at the time of his death, he was in handcuffs, laying face-down on the ground, being overseen by no less than four officers, and as proven by bystander video recorded at the time of the incident, Floyd was being fully compliant.

This BTW, is not the only factual deletion in Spring’s account.

What Spring chose deliberately to not mention, is that during Floyd’s arrest, the now currently convicted 2nd degree murderer and former Minneapolis police officer Derek Chauvin, who had both 18 prior complaints filed against him and a reputation for aggression, according to official police records, made the inexplicable decision to kneel on Floyd’s neck using his full weight, for close to ten minutes, leading to Floyd’s eventual demise.

In addition, Spring ever the dogged researcher also neglected to inform us all, that in the later part of 2017, Chauvin responded to a complaint, where he was once again, caught on video using excessive force against an African-American suspect. In this instance however, the individual was a 14-year-old boy who Chauvin beat so badly in the head with a flashlight, the child required stitches.

And then, in a foreshadowing of his eventually fatal encounter with Floyd, he proceeded to pin said child down with his knee for close to 20 minutes, as the boy protested that he was having difficulty breathing. Complaints that Chauvin resolutely ignored. This information, being deemed possibly prejudicial to Chauvin’s ability to receive a fair trial, was purposefully withheld from the jury that in the end, convicted Chauvin of Floyd’s murder.

Yeah… I did say “murder” as Chauvin was not only convicted of unintentional second-degree murder, third-degree murder, and second-degree manslaughter, resulting in a sentence of 22½ years in prison, the autopsy conducted by the Hennepin County medical examiner, also determined that the cause of Floyd’s death was, and I quote; “cardiopulmonary arrest complicating law-enforcement subdual restraint, and neck compression”.

In other words, but not in Spring’s, of course- it classifies as a HOMICIDE. Therefore, Floyd was “MURDERED”, and not “killed”. Semantics, I knew, but words and their implied meanings are still important to the accuracy of a narrative, specifically those based on racist ideology and the construct of victim-blaming.

In the equally as tragic case of Cayler Ellingson, a police official in North Dakota where the murder took place, have declared that there’s “no evidence” showing that politics were a factor in his being run over by an SUV driven by one Shannon Brandt the prime suspect.

North Dakota Highway Patrol Captain Bryan Niewind, has been quoted by FOX News as saying that; “We have uncovered no evidence to support Mr. Brandt’s claim on the 911 call he made that Cayler Ellingson is a Republican extremist, nor that this incident involved politics. This is a terrible tragedy for the Ellingson family. We continue to investigate what led up to the incident, the crash itself and the claim made by Brandt. But, at this time there has been no evidence to corroborate Brandt’s statement.”

Despite this official statement however, Spring has still yet to amend his claims, not because he researched the case and discovered credible data that reinforces his opinion, but because the act of attempting to do so, wouldn’t fit his narrative of Conservatives being specifically targeted victims of leftist political violence.

And when it comes to his claims that the “media” is complicity silent in concern to this case? Well, let us all just go check out what the ol’ Google has to say about that:

Hmmm. Call me overly optimistic, but if I were able to find 94,100 mentions of my name in 0.36 seconds, I’d personally feel that were more than just a few people paying attention to me, and I’d have some serious reservations on just how silent they’d be with that much social buzzing going on.

Nevertheless, it does prove that yet again, another one of Spring’s histrionic harangues, is nothing more than pure unadulterated racist horses**t, in regards to both its presentation of a proven to be false story, and its context as a so-called concern for the Conservative branch.

But now, having observed just how fast Goggle can come up with one’s personal relevancy, I’m actually kind of curious as to what my current share of Google mentions are, as I have been off the allegorical stage for quite some time now, so I can’t imagine I’d even register as a blip these days:

Wow. That’s not a blip, so much as it is a potential cause for worry, methinks.

However, as long as there’s nobody on the Internet wondering aloud what I would look like as a custom-tailored tuxedo fashioned by Ed Gein, I’ll just ignore the implications for now. Spring however, cannot, as his incessant need to paint conservatism as the true victim of racial identity politics, far outranks his crafting of narratives that ultimately, always fail in their attempts to assert his theorems as true.

Spring’s alleged bigotry, another one of those abominable character flaws that clings to hm, as if it were a wood tick dipped in superglue, seemingly drives his racist requirement for insidiously “woke’ boogeymen, ranging from politicians to athletes, whom as we shall see, just so happen to be, a favored target.

And if those fail to raise the racist ire that Spring is consistently trying to achieve, he’ll then play the preferred scapegoat card that all Conservatives keep in their back pockets for when political emergencies necessitate an immediate deflection, that being the topic of illegal immigration.

But before we dive into Spring’s hated of the Cinnamon, I’ll address one of Spring’s most-despised archetypes, the African-American athlete who dares use their constitutionally-protected right to protest what they correctly see as social injustice against their race.

And when it comes to the big fish swimming in the anaerobic lagoon that serves as Spring’s so-called intellect, there’s no bigger prize that Spring wants to land and hang on his wall, than Colin Kapernick, the former quarterback for the San Francisco 49ers.

Spring reviles Kapernick, but as it is with most of the race-based issues that irk ol’ Jimmy Ray something fierce, it has absolutely nothing to do with actual reality, and everything to do with his bigoted belief that our country’s prominent African Americans, just need to shut the f**k up already about the things he could care less about, namely racial disparity, and get back to standing around doing nothing during the playing of the National Anthem:

I hate to break it to all the hypocritical jingoists out there such as Spring, who demand that athletes paid to play a child’s game must stand for the Anthem, as they remain seated on their fat asses at home, but no law says that you have to stand for it, and you are more than free to take a knee as a form of silent protest regarding this country’s inequities, if you so wish.

Kapernick did just that, and regardless of the fact that it was an American veteran who suggested to him that that he do so, and irrespective of the reality that he legally could, Alt-Wrong pinheads such as Spring, lost what little remained of their goddamn minds, and demanded that Kapernick be fined by the NFL, or fired outright, because… um… wait a minute, I’ve got it around here somewhere…

Oh, here it is! The reason why, according to these fine not racist at all patriots, was because his actions were in essence, “disrespecting” the United States of America, its troops, its flag, and apparently as well, its great ingrained tradition of Blacks keeping their collective yaps shut, and knowing their place.

Shockingly, it is possible to both love your country and call out its societal flaws at the same time, because that’s exactly what the Founding Fathers wanted you to do. Hence the reason why the right to protest is the FIRST thing notated within the Constitution: “Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof; or abridging the freedom of speech, or of the press; or the right of the people peaceably to assemble, and to petition the government for a redress of grievances.”

And whether Spring likes it or not, or believes it or not, that right applies to ALL of America’s citizens. And yes Jimmy Ray, that includes even those annoyingly uppity ones that you so obviously wish were on a leaky boat headed back to Africa.

But this is not to say that Spring hates all African-Americans, as like most Conservative bigots, he will make allowances for those specific individuals that follow the predetermined game plan of being quietly subservient to their modern-day massas:

No matter how long I live, I will never understand how the trotting out of an allegorical human token in public, is considered to be “proof” that you’re not racist when you so blatantly are. This sort of cringing posturing is quite literally, akin to bragging that you have a Black “friend”, when the entire depth of your relationship, is based on the fact that you remember their name when you run into them at work.

As I called attention to previously; “it is possible to both love your country and call out its societal flaws at the same time”, and doing so doesn’t make you or your actions, unamerican, communistic, socialistic, or whatever term of the second that the Alt-Wrong tosses around, like they do their supposed morals.

And despite the reality that Kapernick has not played in an NFL game for FIVE YEARS, you would never know it, given how often Spring and his fellow Vanilla Valkyries, bring it up as a topic of subjective derision. Say what you will about the neocons, but being stuck in the past is truly their niche, and they do it far better than anyone else.

Let’s keep the context in mind here, if we may. Unlike the Conservative movement’s favorite ex-footballer and current senatorial candidate Herschel Walker, Kapernick isn’t a pile of unrepentant slime, doesn’t have a gaggle of previously unknown to the public children born out of wedlock, nor does he have a history of domestic violence, and most certainly, if not importantly, isn’t a well-documented pathological liar, as well.

Walker by the way, seen here denying that he just said what he just said, is also of African-American descent, and yet, despite the numerous flaws of character laid out just above, and the myriad of lies he’s been unquestionably caught disseminating, the GQP base still regards him highly, for simply no other reason than the inexcusable fact that he represents the “right” kind of Black person that they prefer to be associated with.

The celebrating of group cravenness, over that of individual strength, the lauding of the lowest, as it were. Speaking of which…

I don’t know about you, but when I need current political and societal issue guidance, I often turn to a guy who punches people in the head for a living, and if he’s unavailable, then the ex-jock turned tepid Thespian, whose acting chops make him appear as if he were the sole recipient of those punches, will do just fine in his stead.

Once again, Kapernick didn’t do anything immoral or illegal, as Herschel Walker seemingly does almost every damn day, but he did fully utilize his Constitutional rights to politely suggest that maybe police should stop murdering African-American citizens, and for a faux patriot and overt racist such as Spring is, that was just a step too far over the line that White people drew in the sand.

One might argue that Spring was simply irked at what he considers a slandering of the police in general,  but when you take into account that he’s displayed zero concern regarding the Capitol Police being attacked on January 6th, I’d infer that he only tends to openly support the Blue, when it’s openly murdering the Brown.

Has anyone else ever noticed by the way, that whenever Conservatives need to present a Black face to ward off the consequences resultant from their publicly displayed acts of racism, the only persons that they can ever persuade to speak on their behalf, always seem to be professional athletes?  Are they truly that unaware that African-Americans are omnipresent in career fields outside of the one that is the world of competitive sports, or do they believe that’s all they know how to do?

Seriously. Outside of Thomas Sowell, and Candyass Owens, how many academically prominent Black spokespersons for the GQP, can you list right off the top of your head? And no, “Diamond and Silk” don’t count, as I’m fairly confident that their only academic endeavors were in learning how to effectively parlay their dual cosplaying as modern-day Stephanie Fetch-its, into a profitable career in puerile propagandist punditry:

You know what’s funny? Honestly, until these two twunts burst onto the national stage like a festering sore on the ass of Humanity, I always thought that the practicing of intellectually vapid Karenicity, was exclusively a White lady thing, so I guess as a society, progress is being made, evermore the pity as it does.

The pity I have regarding the Progress being made is in concern to the ever-evolving tactics being employed by the Alt-Wrong to capitalize upon the established legacies of the Left’s heroes, severely mutating their message in order to make it line up with the inane ideology of the Right’s.

Take for instance, this rather enlightening exchange between I, Spring, and his hetero-wingman-for-life, one Jim Hodges, debating just what the honorable Reverend Martin Luther King would have done, in relation to the neocon-crafted controversy that whirls around Kaepernick’s cause to this day.

I do apologize for the sheer length of it, but trust me, it’s worth the read, if only for the fact that when Spring can’t sell his “Kapernick disrespected America” bullspit, he then introduces (of course) the irrelevant deflection of Hillary’s supposed email scandal, the Benghazi incident in which both she and the White House, were cleared of any charges, and a comparison drawing parallels between the FBI and the KGB.

And all of it is appropriate to mention, because as you already know, the presentation of such conspiracy theories, would be a natural transitional point in a discussion centered on the beliefs of Reverend King:

I guess you got me there, Jimmy Ray, because if there was one thing Martin Luther King truly feared, it was facing “backlash”. from the community that was at the time, oppressing his people.]

[Or maybe not, you absolute f**king moron.].

As I re-read Spring’s absurdly uninformed commentary, a question arose out of its intellectual darkness, and it is this: as it’s quite clear that Spring does not, will not, or cares not, to ever know anything about the struggle of the Black community in this country, would there ever be a time when even he, a most decidedly ardent bigot, would be perfectly comfortable with African-Americans taking a knee, en masse?

My instincts tell me no, but I’m almost certain that there’s at least one way, he’d be able to make peace with it:“Oh look… those ever so thoughtful gentlemen, are selflessly taking time out of their respectively busy day, to help that slightly distressed African-American citizen find his dropped contact lens.” Granted, I know that’s not what’s really going on in this horrid photo depicting man’s inhumanity toward his fellow man, I’m just picturing in my head, how deliberately Spring would rationalize what’s occurring within it.

However, as a final nail in the coffin that’s housing Spring’s racially-biased inanity, I’d like to introduce this little graphic regarding how actual veterans felt about Kapernick taking a knee, and when it gets right down to it, who better to directly ask, than the people whose entire purpose is to vigilantly protect the rights of the citizenry of the country they represent, if not occasionally lay their lives down for?

Well, would you look at that? Despite Spring’s asinine assertion that Kapernick is ’disrespecting” the flag, America, and I can only can assume that apple pie and Mom are thrown in there as well, it seems that actual veterans who literally fought and died for Kapernick’s right to openly protest, are in his camp rather solidly.

And yet, Spring is offended on their part, even though there’s no need or clarion call to do so. But that’s the beauty of false patriotism- it allows you to take your racism out in the open without consequence, so long as you wrap it in the flag first. Whenever I think of how Spring overreacts to African-Americans doing “White people things”, this is the image that always pops into my brain:

Is Spring just another ostensibly stereotypical racist? Well, as I see it, I’d have to begrudgingly say “Yes” and “No”. While I have made multiple jokes about Spring owning an all-White-Robe-based wardrobe, I wouldn’t perceive him to be racially violent, like say, a Klansman or an Oath Keeper, tends to be. But irrespective of this, Spring IS an outwardly proud bigot, none the less.

This is not to say that Springs casually drops the “N” word as frequently and as openly as he publicly displays his low IQ, but in judiciously selected company, I’m fairly confident that slur flies around faster than Superman trying to save Lois Lane.

In what can only be described as the polar opposite of “delightful” Spring is also as equally obsessed with yet another African-American athlete, that being WNBA star Brittney Griner, except that this time, Spring has merged his inherent racism with a sense of pathetically anti-American indifference to the plight of a fellow American citizen.

And what was her immediate offense that so upset Spring’s delicate sensibilities, you ask? It’s actually a very simple answer; much like Kapernick, Griner dared to use her public visibility and constitutional right of open protest, to call attention to the ongoing social concern of racism and police brutality.

Some context, in case you are unfamiliar: during a teleconference in July 2020, Griner commented that; “I honestly feel we should not play the National Anthem during our season. I think we should take that much of a stand. I don’t mean that in any disrespect to our country. My dad was in Vietnam and a law officer for 30 years. I wanted to be a cop before basketball. I do have pride for my country.”

Capping off her constitutionally protected remarks, Griner further declared that she would walk off the court if the Star-Spangled Banner was played, which is also her right to do so, even if she is Black. But you may be asking, why do I think that Spring is overly fixated upon Griner? Well to quote Connor MacLeod from the beginning above, “call it a hunch”:

If I have to give Spring credit for anything, it’s that he embraces his racism with the same intensity that a tween displays every single time that their copy of Tiger Beat magazine finally arrives, if that’s still a thing. Oh wait, it isn’t, as the TB is now an internet-based magazine, as it ceased physical production in December of 2018. My sincerest apologies regarding my use of a flawed analogy all around, but hopefully, you get my point.

At the moment, faux Christian-Americans such as Spring are reveling in the fact that Griner, an African America lesbian millionaire, and constitutional-law-applying athlete, is serving a nine-year prison term in the Russia for the crime of “smuggling” vape cartridges loaded with cannabis oil into Russia, which on the surface alone is utterly ridiculous, given that fact that they were obviously part of her personal use stash.

Now, while the act of bring weed oil into a foreign country was truly dumb, it also didn’t merit the 9-year sentence that Russian courts handed down, and that Spring and his fellow bigots are so gleefully crowing about. In Spring’s estimation, the uppity and ungrateful well-off dyke got her just karmic reward for daring to believe that she has the same rights as him, and so far as he’s concerned, she can rot there until the stars burn out.

Now, as irritatingly prejudiced is this is, there’s actually a sweet side to this train of bigoted thought, for I got to see true love in action when Spring’s as equally hateful marital magpie, one Kathy Stacey Spring, stepped into the fray to defend her husband, by echoing both his racism, and dearth of intellect:

The couple that falsely prays together, realistically brays together, I guess. And here I was, thinking that the only way Spring would ever find a true soulmate, would be if Marjorie Taylor Greene adjusted her adultery game include culturally irrelevant geriatrics.

Live and learn. However, it is sort of nice to know that Spring will always have a “plus one” for all those 3am front-lawn barbecues that I can see him attending in the future, as being a true romantic myself, I like to see everyone happy. Especially the people who make those around them, happier when they leave.   

I’m not certain how these two hummingbirds of hate initially met, but I’m fairly confident that the setting of such, was most likely centered around either a family reunion, or even possibly, a reenactment of the1921 Race Massacre that occurred in the Greenwood district of Tulsa, Oklahoma. But I repeat myself.

See, like most bloviating bigots, Spring tends to honor the past history of said prejudice, and despite not appearing to be the type of guy who actually reads books, so much as he consistently uses them for beer coasters, Spring is still here to reminds us all, just what’s really important- the preservation of a traitor’s legacy:

Yes Jimmy, since “they” removed the statues of a person who attempted to destroy the very fabric of the country that is today’s America, no one remembers him.

For instance, the multiple buildings, military installations, and schools named after Lee, as well as the memorials dedicated to him, are hardly enough to remind the common citizenry of who he actually was, falling way short of any form of established legacy worth noting. Seriously. It’s almost embarrassing just how little respect we grant this Confederate turncoat, is it not?

And don’t even get me started on the disgusting disrespect that’s been shown towards his horse- we’ll be here all day., I swear to mythical God.

To be fair, I could point out to this treason-adoring jackass, that statues aren’t primarily how History is taught or even learned, thanks to the innumerable resources of books, essays, magazine articles, films, documentaries, along with the presence of historical archives and the academics and teachers who interpret them, but when you’re as inane as he is, all I can say with practically in response to such, is thus:

Oops. My bad. For a second there, I almost forgot what kind of absolute f**king moron that I’m actually dealing with. Once again, for a guy who dually claims to be both a Christian and a proud American, Spring’s unproven values unerringly, always seem to be on the wrong side of the allegorical fence.

In yet another example of Spring’s unrelenting quest for proving himself to be truly unworthy of the privilege of not having his internal organs unwillingly harvested to distribute to those random persons worth having on Earth, he’s fallen back on his perpetual habit of allying himself alongside yet another house token for the Conservative massas, the obviously mentally-ill entertainer known as Kanye West, or as he likes to call himself now, “Ye”.

West, whom at his best, could be charitably depicted as having some serious psychological issues, is seemingly nuttier than a forty-dollar pecan pie, what with a well-documented history of bizarre outbursts, insane declarations, and self-started feuds with his fellow celebrities, thereby undoubtedly setting up the future guarantee that one day, a regimen of forcible medication and he, will be great friends.

Now while these issues in and of themselves being left untreated is concerning, when taken into overall consideration, his public displays of allegiance to both proven racists and their de facto leader Donald Trump is truly no more than yet another brick he’s placed in a wall comprised of sheer wackadoo, and as such, should be regarded with serious cynicism.

But for Spring, West is no less than a new card in his deck of racial politics, and mythical god knows, Spring is going to play it, for as long as he can. Nevertheless, as I noted just above; “Spring’s unproven values unerringly, always seem to be on the wrong side of the allegorical fence”, but this time around, it appears that said fence, was built just outside the clearly marked boundaries of Auschwitz:

Wow. Just… wow. I don’t even think I can find the jokes that are normally hidden within this kind of soulless garbage, and that’s actually my niche most days.

Other than the fact that this abhorrence should clearly serve as dire confirmation that a long-overdue intervention regarding West’s mental acuity is needed, it’s also a reminder that racism itself, is a human disease, and not simply based on or in, one’s cultural take of the world entire. Granted, while I honestly do believe that White people promote this character affliction the best, they also don’t fully own the proverbial corner in concern to it, either.

As a writer, I’ve experienced my share of closely observing more than my fair share of a mental dissolution in progress, but seriously, holy motherc**ksuck, what in the f**k is this? I can honestly say that if West does have a brain, I’d opine that most of it is currently being rented out to the voices of others. 

And what pray tell, is the state of action that is “death con 3”? I only ask, because there’s actually five states of “Def-Con” [the correct attribution], so any threat that hovers somewhere in the middle, hardly constitutes a sense of concern. What’s West actually going to do? Haughtily enter a Jewish deli, and impudently demand that they make him a cheese-free Reuben?

And contrary to West’s absurd declaration, yes, it IS possible to be a Semite and still be antisemitic, just as it’s possible to be Latino and hate other Latinos, or to be a light-skinned Afro-American with a dislike for your fellow darker hued ones, as well. To be clear, while West is visibly bereft of a fully-functioning intellect, it’s still no excuse for fomenting this antisemitic bullspit out into the public sphere.

And taken as a whole, the contextual substance of his vile commentary is virtually incoherent, even when the pervasiveness of his mental illness is factored in. However, as it was to be expected, West’s remarks were immediately met with instant furious backlash, and not surprisingly, accorded the worst punishment our modern-day society can issue; being restricted on social media:

I would like to point out, that in no way, shape or form, has Spring publicly embraced West’s antisemitic POV, but along those lines, he also hasn’t overtly rebuked it, either. This is not to say that Spring aligns with West’s sentiments, but it does go to show the commonality of Conservatives to willfully overlook defects of character, so long as the person [or in this case, the token] involved, can still serve as a political pawn of sorts.

You know, that whole “owning the Libs” thing, that Conservatives think is a viable and devastating gambit? I hate to break it to Spring and his fellow intellectual voids, but parading an obviously disturbed loon around as one of your torch-bearers, is never a strategy that works out well in the end, regardless of what you may think.

If anything, all it has done thus far, is dually showcase that the GQP’s inherent human disconnection and ideological desperation, once considered to be ostensibly their greatest asset, now only serves as a glaring reminder of just how deeply rotted their hypocrisy actually is. Now, why would I even suggest that you ask? Well, it all stems from this interesting political story, strangely enough:

See, a while back, West claimed that he was finished supporting Donald Trump, and as you may have guessed, the Alt-Wrong didn’t appreciate the fact that one of the ”right” African-Americans that they had been so gracious in welcoming into the fold, had dared in the end, to rebuke their mango man-child, before relocating himself to the edge of the proverbial plantation.

And Spring, of course, being nothing more than a regurgitating propaganda parrot, was more than happy to jump on that bandwagon at the time, by promoting a sure-fire way to punish West for getting in touch with his inner uppishness, that being the genius implementation of a plan based on paying him an exorbitant amount of money to do absolutely nothing:

Sigh… I’ve said it before, and I know I will have to say it again, but when it comes to crafting their evil schemes, the GQP base really needs to stop relying on the same firm that designs such for Bond villains, to serve as the standard go-to for theirs, because the flaws within it are pathetically obvious.

To note: your “plan” centers on giving West, whom you dislike for not acting as your party’s personal Stepin Fetchit analog, several hundred-thousand dollars to perform for you alone, in a venue that once the stage lights go on, prevents him from seeing both you and your stupid-ass sign, and since most halls have rules against homemade signs to begin with, you’ll find yourself booted out, he’ll take the night off, [no audience, remember?] and in the end, he’ll still have all of your money.

Yup. That’s a plan so deceptively brilliant and simple, that even the great dreamer of schemes eternal, Machiavelli himself, couldn’t even possibly begin to understand how it would actually work in practice.

Spring’s lack of strategic planning aside, this slice of ”I like you, but only when you’re doing what you’re told”, is indicative of the cravenly chaos that at its core, is slowly tearing apart the GQP, if not its agenda.

Instead of policy, they laud putrid propaganda, instead of leadership, they offer fear-inducing soundbites, and when it comes to the strength of character, all they can present as candidates, are ethically-challenged wretches, whose morality is akin to Velveeta that’s been lounging inside a caldera.

As a political movement needing to go toe to toe with this predicament, you would think that the first steps taken by the GQP, would be to create an allegorical salve to the situation at hand, that would involve first clarifying their message of partisanship, along with aggressively engaging in improving the quality of both their candidates and the leadership already set in place, but you’d be wrong.

Rather than fix the sure to be fatal flaws inherent in their cause, the GQP has instead decided, to embrace them as core values, promoting them in a series of evermore disturbingly inhumane PR stunts. All if which, have been happily lapped up by Conservatives as if they were manna sent from the WASP Heaven that self-assuredly, they’ll all be granted entry to, without fear of consequence.

But until that finely rapturous day arrives, they’ll continue to passively-aggressively play the victim:

Poor Jimmy. He’s gone hos entire life without ever once being handed any of the magically mythical things that Conservatives perpetually claim that immigrants get for “:free”.

Now, as rational adults, we all knew that this ignorant as f**k diatribe, is just pure fantastical garbage, and little else, but for Spring, it’s a literal roadmap of his bigotry, privilege, and race-based paranoia, openly and proudly displayed, as if it were the Shroud of Turin.

Sharp-eyed readers will also note, that Spring holds his unwarranted contempt only for the immigrant class and the indigent, and not the 1% who to be fair, are one of the largest reasons why the tax burden on the average American is so goddamn ridiculous.

I won’t speak for you, but my ire is far more focused on the tax-dodging trio of Musk, Bezos, and Zuckerberg, far more than it is or will ever be, focused on Pedro from Venezuela.

However, I will give Spring some begrudging due credit for playing all the classic hits as it were. I mean there’s the standard ballad where the “others” are being handed everything under the sun on silver trays, then he gives us a quick change-up to the hard-rocking refrain wherein Spring, the ever noble worker does the work, while the lazy Cinnamon people sponge off the sweat of his Neanderthalic brow,

He then closes his set, with a tender plea for sympathy that he doesn’t deserve for slights that never happened, and as he does so, gives us all one last sardonic twist, asking for the ever desired “Victim Card”, which he’s obviously been playing for quite some time now.

From this and the previous postings I called attention to, I feel fairly comfortable calling Spring a POS racist, but as he’s a self-declared Christian, how does Spring’s alleged theological beliefs line up with his world view, given the edicts regarding travelers in the Bible?

(I’d say poorly, at best.)

For context, let me familiarize you with the passage of Jeremiah 7:5-7: “For if you truly amend your ways and your doings, if you truly act justly one with another, if you do not oppress the alien, the orphan, and the widow, or shed innocent blood in this place, and if you do not go after other gods to your own hurt, then I will dwell with you in this place, in the land that I gave of old to your ancestors forever and ever.”

But Spring could care less about such celestial and supposedly unarguable proclamations, for as we’ve seen, he cherry-picks the Word, very much in the same way I do when faced with an unexpected bowl of Chex Party Mix.

In addition, Spring is also woefully uninformed of just what rights immigrants, legal or otherwise do have, the right to apply for asylum being one of them, as he views all non-Caucasians coming to “his” country as nothing less than opportunistic leeches;
As noted, I have yet to see Spring ever post a meme or any form of commentary regarding the demographic of the one-percent who’ve been bleeding American tax-payers dry for decades, but in his limited defense, Spring’s world view is so paranoidly small, I’d fear that any new information attempting to enter it, would crack both he and his psyche wide open, as if it were a dropped egg.   

But here’s the rub: despite proven and verified data that Spring’s racially paranoid fever-dream is just that, he also reserves equal contempt for the persons who do come here legally and find work in the literal fields that bigoted cucks such as Spring would never even take a passing glance at.

And yes, even with all of his slander invalidated, he still whines that he’s the real victim here, and not the problem, which as has already been proven regarding the majority of his claims, is pure unadulterated bullspit:

Jesus F Christ… I know he’s a cravenly bitch to begin with, but is it possible for Spring to stop mewling for even five minutes? Good god, I’ve babysat toddlers who throw less hissy-fits over nothing, and that’s their main form of communication. I do appreciate the irony that as Spring slurs those who speak two languages, he fails consistently to form a coherent thought using the one he grew up immersed in.

I can’t even imagine how Spring must act when he’s begrudgingly allowed to eat out, and discovers to his horror, that not only is the Kitchen staff mostly Latino, but bilingual, to boot. Spring’ bigotry however, is not an uncommon occurrence among the brain-dead masses that comprise the academic-hating base of the GQP, and as fear of the “other” Is literally their bread and butter, Spring’s idiocy is right on brand.

Irrespective of what is actually happening, whether it be abroad, or here at home, the GQP leadership has always needed a scapegoat for its defection circus, and over the decades, no other singular demographic has unwittingly served that purpose better than so-called “illegal” immigrants, whom Spring, in spite of being a self-declared Christian, willingly derides as being nothing less than freeloading leeches.

And just as all men cursed with indistinguishable character tend to do, they look for a solution to the imaginary issue that they themselves created out of their racist hatred for the “other’, and come up with resolutions so intolerable to the concept of what Humanity is supposed to be, that their true colors show through:

In case you were unaware, this meme references the fact that Ron DeSantis, the Governor of Florida, is using taxpayer money to transport undocumented aliens from TEXAS, shipping them off to so-called “Blue” states, without notifying said agencies of those states, that he’s going to do so.

It reminds me of that part in the Bible where Jesus says; “Taketh the hungry and the desperate, make sure to treat them as you would the common most of chattel, and when they find themselves delivered to their unexpected destination, blame those in opposition to your views as being the reason for their arrival and rejoice.”

I’m not sure where that particular passage is located, but I do believe it’s either in the Chronicles of Limbaugh, or maybe even possibly, the ever-so-inspiring Trials of Tucker.

To be clear, DeSantis is not engaging in what has been alleged to be human trafficking because he’s trying to protect Florida [the state he actually oversees] from an influx of the undocumented, he’s doing this as an abominable PR stunt to out-trump Trump, because as a dedicated disciple of the GQP’s inherent racism, he’s attempting to line himself up as the ideal candidate for becoming America’s next Fascist-in-Chief.

And as you’d expect, Spring, being both a faux Christian and an unquestionable racist, is totally fine with it, despite knowing deep down, that those who will put you on a plane for political advantage, will also be equally as comfortable in loading you into a boxcar, for the same.

And when it comes to this attitude, Spring as you’d surmise, is no maverick when faced with the tide of group think, but he does take it up a notch, by once again, amalgamating two entirely unrelated topics, and asserting that they’re not. In this case, Spring merges the issue of illegally trafficked immigrants to Martha’s Vineyard, with the power couple that he can’t abide, that being Michelle and Barack Obama, who just so happen to have a home in MV.

What do these two disparate topics have to do with each other, you may ask?

Not a goddamn thing actually, but as his measured point of debate posted here proves, and quite handily at that, the color of their skin has nothing to do with his dislike whatsoever, hence the reason why Barack’s visage is depicted here in the style of a flyer warning about a runaway slave:Yes… Barack Obama, former President of the United States, who hasn’t held a public office since 2016, is the “reason” why America’s cultural dynamic finds itself rent asunder in current 2022.

It has nothing to do with the lies, racism, misogyny, anti-LGBTQ hysteria, or the consistent wave of violent rhetoric from the Alt-Wrong, it’s all the fault of this uppity supposed member of the Deep State and Muslim Brotherhood who dared as a Black man, to sit in the WHITE House for eight years, as if he deserved to be there. And to be candid, I’m not sure if I’m more offended by the absurdity of Spring’s asinine theorem, or the amateurish quality of the posted sketch.

C’mon, my Alt-Wrong wackadoos- in the future, either bring your “A” for Aaryan game to the proverbial table, or just stay home clashing your white robe and hood collections, because this racist tripe right here, is just lazy-ass presentation, and quite honestly, I expect far better from someone who obsesses this much over their chosen colored boogeyman. But then again, maybe I should give credit to the fact that at least, Spring didn’t post something like this:

What a racist classic. All the tropes are equally represented here: Kool-Ade, fried chicken, and of course, watermelon, because if there’s one thing that the GQP does better than any other political party before or since, it’s the display of cultural sensitivity inherent within its minority outreach program.

But let’s not forget who’s really to blame for imagery like this- it’s the guy who is so annoyingly non-Caucasian, that we couldn’t help but notice, who’s to blame for what the Alt-Wrong is currently attempting to do to this country. And even worse, his wife is cut from the same cloth as he is; smart, cultured, responsible, but to Spring’s horror, it turned out that she was Black as well, and Spring knows just how to deal with that sort of impudence, by calling attention to something she has no creative connection to, or oversight of:As is typical when Spring spews his racial hatred thinly disguised as relevant social commentary, the story within, is typically not the one that he foists upon us at large. Concerning this non-story that Spring is obviously presenting as a slam against the popularity of what he considers to be “woke’ culture, the reality of is narrative, is far less reactionary.

What Spring is gleefully self-pleasuring himself to as we speak, is the cancellation of the anthology series “The First Lady.”  on the cable network known as Showtime. The first season of the anthology series cut between three different eras of the White House, following the political and private lives of Eleanor Roosevelt, Betty Ford, and Michelle Obama.

Overall, the series received a lukewarm response from critics, but it had less to do with the First Ladies represented (as Spring’s post implied) and far more to do with the show’s presentation of said historical figures, a nation expressed by TV critic Caroline Framke, who wrote that; “squeezing their stories together doesn’t just make for confusing television, but does them all a disservice in the process.”

To note, Michelle Obama has nothing to do with the series production, script writing, or even creative in out, past being a character advisor, and calling it “her” show, is akin to calling the character of Hawkeye in “Avengers: The Age of Ultron”, the “heart” of the super-hero team. It’s a nice thought, but it comes from out of nowhere, and makes absolutely no goddamn sense, much like most of Spring’s so-called cultural observations.

But mythical God love him, as no one else will, Spring won’t let the concrete entity of reality get in the way of a poorly crafted false narrative, especially when he can weaponize it to hypocritically slam those persons who are as a rule, his natural superiors at utilizing their capacity for emotional and intellectual understanding:

Other than the fact that as previously noted, the Obama’s maintain a residence in Martha’s Vineyard, the assertions made here are utterly and absurdly false. The couple has never once implied anything racist regarding the test flights to a future Dachau, nor have they said a single word inferring that said bigoted bussing was an unwelcome intrusion into their otherwise serene lives. But the ever-so-racist Spring needs a villain, and who better than the one that’s already serving as the Alt-Wrong’s go-to boogeyman?

When this homage to Kristallnacht started, the Alt-Wrong hierarchy and common faithful, was quick to come out in force to rally around DeSantis, (much to Trump’s disdain), and as is ever so predictable with this cabal of slack-brained jingoistic jackasses, an entire list of excuses and boasts were summarily presented to the massed asses, in order to increase their standing within the political sewage bubble that they so comfortably call home:

For the record, if you ever find yourself wondering whether you’re on the wrong side of both History and Humanity, check to see if Rafael “Ted” Cruz agrees with you, and if so, you’ll have your answer.  But as you move forward within the parameters of your life, now and in the future, never, ever, make the commitment to going full “Ted”. Just don’t do it.

However, when this gambit failed to take root, the GQP simply shifted tactics, and tried another far more odious tactic instead- this time around, they openly jeered that the people who were caught unaware by their inhumane political stunt, weren’t reacting the way they should, with compassion and grace. This opinion of course, hypocritically coming from the very same people who showed absolutely none when they decided to use their fellow human beings as political props:

I won’t speak for you of course, but don’t you just LOVE the unwarranted self-riotousness subtly intertwined within Spring’s multiple posted validations of both his character flaws, as well as his blatantly false adherence to Christian doctrine? Christ, it’s almost as if he thought we needed an accessible self-confession to prove what we already knew. Don’t get me wrong, it’s nice to have the empirical evidence, but it’s not like we actually needed it.

Continuing on in that disingenuously unaware vein, Spring continues to mock the lack of public facilities readily available for the human cargo that his party so callously deposited in MV as if they were nothing more than jingoistic jetsam, deliberately overlooking the fact that shockingly, communities that cater to the ultra-wealthy and the famous, usually don’t have that type of infrastructure set in place, hence the reason why DeSantis and his cravenly cronies, chose it in the first place:

You know… to once again, “own” the Libs, regardless of the reality that they actually didn’t?

I could point out that Texas, where DeSantis so cruelly acquired his political pawns from, does have a number of said services specifically designed for that very singular purpose, but why use those, when there’s an opportunity to prove to the world entire, that you and your party, are the human equivalent of a case of AXE body spray?

But there’s a plot twist (or two) in regards to this story concerning an act of sheer political desperation and cold-heartedness made flesh, and the first kink in their plan is one that the Alt-Wrong truly never saw coming:

That’s right boys and girls, the ultra-rich, the incredibly famous, and the actual humans of MV, dropped whatever it was they were doing, and quickly rendered aid to the unforeseen new arrivals to their otherwise exclusive enclave, providing food, medical assistance, and yes, even lodging, along with sizeable donations of cash, despite Spring’s uninformed as usual, claims..

So please Jimmy Ray, tell me again just whose asses got owned outright? For as far as I can tell, my side seems to still have theirs, even after we so gleefully kicked yours into the gutter, where you and your repulsive ilk, justly belong. However, I did promise you a secondary plot twist, as I try to never renege on my promises unlike the majority of Conservatives, here it is:

Excuse me for one moment, if you please. [Artbitch closes laptop, takes deep breath…]
[Artbitch composes self, opens laptop, starts typing again…]

Dear mythical God, can’t these jackasses do anything even half-right?

I mean… they’re the only group of people that I know of, who not only willingly shoots themselves in the metaphorical face every single time that they try to prove their dominance, they also seemingly, never learn anything beneficial from the experience of doing so. In essence, these maroons are the main reason why toothpaste and Preparation-H still carry usage instructions, because you just know at some point, these idiots confused the two, with the results you’d expect.

Generally, I don’t believe in Karma, as I think her quota is way behind the desired schedule of fulfillment, but I can only imagine what DeSantis and his conservative goons must have thought, when they heard the news that not only did their vile PR stunt hilariously backfire in the manner of a scheme as planned by Wile E. Coyote…

… but now, thanks to the clearly illegal act of trafficking human beings as if Amazon’s CEO was beta-testing a new division based in colonial-era Virginia, the very same people that were casually used as pawns by soulless political opportunists, may in fact, become full-fledged citizens of the United States, capable of voting out the selfsame jacklegs that due to their insidious intervention, caused this theoretical situation to be made an almost definitive certainty, much to the consternation of the Neocons:

[Neocon seen here, contemplating a future of multiple personal lawsuits, state criminal indictments, and the hopefully long list of prosecuted politicians, yet to come.]

In the end, the only resultant benefit from the GQP’s callous circle-jerk, is that as the most monstrous people on this f**ked-up planet hoping to verify that their political opponents were just as detestable as them when faced with a humane crisis, failed to do so in such a spectacular fashion, that not even their most ardent of their punditry puppets could sell it successfully across the board.

Save of course, for a few eternally racist dumbf**ks like Spring, who if he ever harbored an original thought in his otherwise empty head, would eventually see it wither and die, due to intellectual starvation. And if that isn’t the purest essence of Karma kicking in the front door, cracking skulls, taking names, and in general, just being a badass, boys and girls, I really don’t know what else is.

However, there is one last twist to this story of Spring Infernal, and it is a doozy. Despite his cravenly countenance representing as all things White-Winger, Spring himself, is actually of Native American heritage, which makes his unwarranted condemnation of both Latinos and African-Americans, that much more absurd, if not seriously hypocritical:

Look. I’d get it 100% percent if Spring took issue with Caucasians, as we are the reigning champions of on the road genocide, but to be so openly bigoted towards seasonal workers who do the jobs that White people abandoned quite some time ago, as well as the descendants of persons whose ancestors arrived here as forcibly delivered cargo?

That is a seriously f**ked up approach, no matter how you look at it.

But Spring, ever the unaware Janus of Jingoism, doesn’t see it that way, and he’s chosen to express his disingenuous disconnection from reality concerning cultural differences in quite possibly, the worst way a Neocon or any similarly defective human ever could; by weaponizing the literary bane that is poetry.

Really, certainly, actually, truly, categorically, bad poetry.

Think of it this way: if you’ve ever wondered, even for the merest of moments, what it would be like if Walt Whitman’s untalented 2nd cousin Chaz Whitman had a drunken three-way with Dr. Seuss and an atrabilious aardvark, then boy howdy, do I have the poet for you. And the easiest way to find him is at: Spring’s personal poetry website, known as okiepoet.com:

I felt it was only fair to give Spring’s so-called creative endeavors a plug, if only to thank him for all the inadvertent source material that he’s given mine. See? I know how to network, ye certain readers of little faith, and therefore, I think it would be nice to take a break from all of Spring’s well-documented personal awfulness, and enjoy some of his thankfully unknown creative awfulness instead.

No need to thank me. I do it for the love of the craft.
To start us off, let’s delve into this lone entry, taken from Spring’s “Patriotic” section.

“The Y-O-I Bunch”

Many years ago, I married a Yankee lass,
Never thought about the future didn’t care about her Yankee past.

Because the only thing on my mind, was this sweet and pretty one,
That attached herself to my side, and gave me so much fun.

The difference began to surface with some of the food she wanted me to eat,
I thought they smelled kind of funky, she thought it was such a treat.

Then, I had my food, I thought was oh so grand,
But at it she turned up her nose, and said that I can not stand.

 An Okie-Yankee mix is what our kids would have to be,
With Choctaw Indian thrown in to make part three.

They got the best of both, the best we had to give,
So Yankie-Okie-Indian, together we’ll have to live.

©JRS 6-15-99

Dear mythical God, this reads as if a Hallmark card went on a three-day drunken bender with a Hobby Lobby Christian wall sampler, and found itself eventually abandoned within the back discount rack of a Dollar General store. Shocking that his creativity appears to be in line with his intellect, given the fact that his poetic output and cultural worldview, are both seemingly twenty years+ out of date, but let’s take a gander at a few more of his lyrical offerings, if only to assuage my cynicism.

Maybe this one from his “My Early Years” section, will give me some insight as to why Spring is the way he is:

“Not For Free” 

Late one summer on an August day,
My cousin came for a while to stay.

Walter was about twelve, my brother eleven,
I tagged along at about six or seven.

I didn’t know what plans they had,
Just the thought of adventure and I was glad.

We walked and walked down a lonely dirt road,
No signs of life, not even a horny toad.

Finally they stopped at a barbed wire fence,
As they explained the plan, it all made sense.

This one ol’ fence was just no match,
To keep us out of a watermelon patch.

Of course they neglected to tell little me,
The fruit of our labor was not really free!

Although, it didn’t take long to find this out,
As we heard a very loud and angry shout.

Then two big booms and I heard, “Shotgun!”
We dropped our loot and started to run.

We couldn’t get through the fence fast enough,
As those sharp ol’ barbs made it really rough.

No watermelons for all our pain,
But a lesson for sure we did attain.
©JRS 4-2-04

Somewhere, most likely in a faraway place where dogs run free, and homemade apple pies are to be found cooling on windowsills, the ghost of Norman Rockwell can be heard gagging in a corner, after reading this steaming pile of schmaltz so steeped in saccharine Americana, that by comparison, makes the Brady’s come off as if they were the Lannisters from Game of Thrones.

Now, if I were forced to craft a viable location to present the thankfully last poem I’m about to share with you, I’d place it inside the familiarity of a run-down and out of the way country bar, where the deepest of personal regrets and bad decisions meet, and I’d leave it at that. Seriously, if someone out there doesn’t set these words to a Hank Williamsesque dirge replete with a steel guitar, I’m going to be really disappointed.


What do I do when the lovin’ ends?
When your heart is broken and the cryin’ begins?

Do you sit around moping thinking of the past,
Trying to figure out why his love didn’t last?

 Well, stop it girl, you’ve got to let go,
That he broke your heart, he must never know.

Put on a smile and wipe those tears,
Get out of the house and face your fears.

‘Cause there’s no sense whining and wearing a frown,
When love is happening and waiting to be found.

When you meet again, look him in the eye,
Smile really sweet and just say, “Hi!”

Tell him you’d like to chat but you really have to run,
Cause your life is overflowing with things you haven’t done.

Walk quickly away with a sway to your hips,
Let a happy smile caress your lips.

Glance over your shoulder with a twinkle in your eye.
Say, “So long, it’s my turn to say GOODBYE!”
©JRS 11-14-07

So, when it comes to the assessment of Spring’s creative trove of treacly offerings as well as his political opinions, I can only offer this sage observation by the lauded scientist, physicist, and medical doctor with seven Ph.D.’s, Dr. Bruce Banner, who at times, moonlights as the Incredible Hulk:

Now, there is a reason why I decided to cap this screed off with Spring’s excruciatingly awkward poetry, set up against the disconnection from actual reality that he so openly displays, and it is based solely on his abhorrent political views, his allegedly disingenuous faith, and how he views the world entire,

Spring may come off as nothing more than a walking punchline to a joke that nobody finds funny, or even perhaps, as a vile caricature of what modern-day conservatism has become, but that would be an inaccurate, if not arrogant, generalization at best.

In my opinion, humble as it may be, Spring is a simple symptom of a far larger and considerably more virulent social disease, that being sheer willful ignorance, stuffed with religious hypocrisy, seasoned with racism, garnished with anti-LGBTQ sentiment, and served ice-cold, with a side dish of misogyny, unwarranted paranoia, and abject fear of the New and the Other.

The certainty of life is that nobody is a walking cartoon, even if like Spring, their inanely inhumane ideology gives the general impression that they’re at the very least, an ambulatory collection of bumper sticker catchphrases come to life. As the old joke goes; “Hitler was nice to his dogs… right up to the point where he shot one, and then poisoned the other.”

This is not to say that Spring would ever harm a dog, much less himself or for that matter, another person, but I for one, wouldn’t want this hatefully dimwitted demagogue anywhere near my wonderfully diverse community, given his bigotry, his hypocrisy, and his overall inability to accept those that dare to be so proudly and openly different than he.

In essence Spring is a relic. A throwback to an era thankfully passed, and fading into unpleasant sepia-toned memory. A disreputable dinosaur. A spiteful flag-bearer of a cruel ideology, that no longer has a seat at the metaphorical table. Not that it ever deserved one to begin with.

If anything, James Ray Spring should serve as a cautionary tale to us all, concerning just what can happen when one allows themselves to be indoctrinated into a cult of personality founded on fear, hate, gullibility, and unfettered suspicion of the world at large. And while I feel that Spring is unsalvageable, there are others out there just like him, who just might be able to make the trip back to that which is real.

Spring at one point, could have caught that allegorical bus as well, but he was too busy throwing his humanity and so-called allegiance to his faith underneath it, to notice it was departing.


“It may well be that we will have to repent in this generation. Not merely for the vitriolic words and the violent actions of the bad people, but for the appalling silence and indifference of the good people who sit around and say, “Wait on time.”- Martin Luther King Jr.,